﻿1
00:00:00,031 --> 00:00:01,401
Adult Adam: <i>Ah, the '80s...</i>

2
00:00:01,426 --> 00:00:03,656
<i>A time before you could
magically download music,</i>

3
00:00:03,681 --> 00:00:05,717
<i>and your stereo was your pride and joy.</i>

4
00:00:05,742 --> 00:00:07,819
<i>Just one problem... tapes cost a fortune,</i>

5
00:00:07,854 --> 00:00:09,387
<i>so I only owned two,</i>

6
00:00:09,422 --> 00:00:12,148
<i>both of which were
the "Cocktail" soundtrack.</i>

7
00:00:12,173 --> 00:00:14,779
<i>Luckily, back then, there
was a way to get free music.</i>

8
00:00:14,804 --> 00:00:16,762
Man: <i>And coming in at number 2, Chicago.</i>

9
00:00:16,797 --> 00:00:19,932
Adult Adam: <i>Waiting for three hours
to record it right off the radio.</i>

10
00:00:19,967 --> 00:00:22,501
<i>Unfortunately, in my house,
that wasn't so easy.</i>

11
00:00:22,536 --> 00:00:25,437
Hey, hey, Barry, do you mind?
I'm recording Chicago.

12
00:00:25,473 --> 00:00:27,840
You won't hear a thing. Look at my hands.

13
00:00:27,875 --> 00:00:29,575
These are the fingers of a surgeon.

14
00:00:29,610 --> 00:00:30,542
[Buzzer]

15
00:00:30,578 --> 00:00:32,478
Not cool, funny bone! Not cool!

16
00:00:32,513 --> 00:00:34,847
- I'm home! The TV's mine!
- Shh!

17
00:00:34,882 --> 00:00:36,304
Dad, I'm recording music.

18
00:00:36,329 --> 00:00:38,951
And I'm watching a very
special "Gilligan's island"

19
00:00:38,986 --> 00:00:40,986
where the Harlem
globetrotters come to visit.

20
00:00:41,022 --> 00:00:42,755
Please, just give me three minutes.

21
00:00:42,790 --> 00:00:45,824
I've always loved Gilligan,
<i>and</i> I love meadowlark lemon.

22
00:00:45,860 --> 00:00:47,626
I never thought
the two of them would meet.

23
00:00:47,662 --> 00:00:48,703
[Buzzer] Damn it!

24
00:00:48,711 --> 00:00:50,944
Can you at least try to...
I hate you and this house.

25
00:00:50,979 --> 00:00:52,390
I didn't even do anything.

26
00:00:52,406 --> 00:00:54,306
Oh, well, I suppose the car
just dented itself.

27
00:00:54,341 --> 00:00:55,841
[Buzzer] Come on, man!

28
00:00:55,876 --> 00:00:57,142
Like I'm supposed to believe... [Buzzer]

29
00:00:57,177 --> 00:00:58,243
Why does this thing keep going off?

30
00:00:58,278 --> 00:01:00,445
They built a basketball
court on the island!

31
00:01:00,481 --> 00:01:01,413
[Barks] My own daughter...

32
00:01:01,448 --> 00:01:02,514
[Buzzer] Damn it!

33
00:01:02,549 --> 00:01:03,949
Damn it! Darn it!

34
00:01:03,984 --> 00:01:07,116
- That's obviously stupid.
- Apparently...

35
00:01:07,141 --> 00:01:10,039
[Buzzer] <i>Yep, it seemed I would never
get to enjoy the music I liked</i>

36
00:01:10,156 --> 00:01:13,591
<i>until one company changed everything.</i>

37
00:01:13,619 --> 00:01:14,848
Columbia house.

38
00:01:14,911 --> 00:01:18,364
My god! How did you get all those
tapes on a lawn mower's salary?

39
00:01:18,399 --> 00:01:19,966
They got this catalog filled with albums,

40
00:01:20,001 --> 00:01:22,435
and they just give you
12 tapes for a penny.

41
00:01:22,470 --> 00:01:23,836
That deal defies all reason.

42
00:01:23,871 --> 00:01:26,706
I know. I got them all... Abba to Zappa.

43
00:01:26,741 --> 00:01:28,607
- 'Sup, pretty eyes?
- Not much, DK.

44
00:01:28,810 --> 00:01:30,109
Sweet tapes.

45
00:01:30,146 --> 00:01:32,045
Yeah. I don't know, man.

46
00:01:32,081 --> 00:01:33,833
There's, like, a bunch
of legal stuff here.

47
00:01:33,858 --> 00:01:35,549
Dave Kim doesn't read the fine print.

48
00:01:35,584 --> 00:01:36,950
He lives in the moment.

49
00:01:36,986 --> 00:01:38,051
Tapes!

50
00:01:38,087 --> 00:01:40,154
<i>It had to be too good to be true.</i>

51
00:01:40,189 --> 00:01:42,389
<i>So I went to the biggest
con artist in my family...</i>

52
00:01:42,424 --> 00:01:43,524
<i>My big sister.</i>

53
00:01:43,559 --> 00:01:45,259
Sure, you get a bunch of tapes up front,

54
00:01:45,294 --> 00:01:46,727
but then you enter into a contract

55
00:01:46,762 --> 00:01:48,662
to order more for full price.

56
00:01:48,697 --> 00:01:51,574
In the end, Columbia house
always comes for you.

57
00:01:51,613 --> 00:01:53,390
Man, I bet they have like ex-Navy seals

58
00:01:53,426 --> 00:01:54,591
to collect their money.

59
00:01:54,627 --> 00:01:56,360
I think you're giving
them too much credit.

60
00:01:56,691 --> 00:01:58,462
Point is you can't get something for free.

61
00:01:58,497 --> 00:01:59,370
Sure you can.

62
00:01:59,395 --> 00:02:00,531
What you do is go into a store,

63
00:02:00,566 --> 00:02:02,066
take a bunch of stuff,
and then just walk out.

64
00:02:02,101 --> 00:02:03,167
Yeah, that's called stealing.

65
00:02:03,202 --> 00:02:04,602
[Mockingly] That's called stealing.

66
00:02:05,003 --> 00:02:05,769
That's what you sound like.

67
00:02:05,805 --> 00:02:06,904
Wait, wait.

68
00:02:06,939 --> 00:02:09,373
What if I give Columbia house a fake name

69
00:02:09,408 --> 00:02:10,667
and take the 12 tapes?

70
00:02:10,715 --> 00:02:12,882
Well, it's illegal, but very clever.

71
00:02:12,917 --> 00:02:14,183
Yes! Then let's do this!

72
00:02:14,219 --> 00:02:16,285
As much as I would love
to commit mail fraud with you,

73
00:02:16,321 --> 00:02:17,887
Mom's really been on my back lately.

74
00:02:18,167 --> 00:02:20,768
Aw, come on. Commit a felony with me.

75
00:02:20,793 --> 00:02:22,560
It'll be a good bonding experience,

76
00:02:22,595 --> 00:02:24,433
or at the very least a cautionary tale.

77
00:02:24,458 --> 00:02:26,764
Whoa. Your little brother's hardcore.

78
00:02:26,799 --> 00:02:27,998
Yeah, a hardcore nerd.

79
00:02:28,034 --> 00:02:29,266
Not anymore, Erica.

80
00:02:29,302 --> 00:02:32,069
Face it... Now I'm a certified badass.

81
00:02:32,105 --> 00:02:34,238
Schmoopie. "Muppet babies" is on.

82
00:02:34,273 --> 00:02:35,273
Yippee!

83
00:02:36,879 --> 00:02:38,613
♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪

84
00:02:38,668 --> 00:02:42,637
♪ but nonetheless,
I feel the need to say ♪

85
00:02:42,706 --> 00:02:44,806
Synced and corrected by Nest0r
www.addic7ed.com

86
00:02:44,841 --> 00:02:46,049
♪ I don't know the future ♪

87
00:02:46,074 --> 00:02:50,144
♪ but the past keeps getting
clearer every day ♪

88
00:02:50,213 --> 00:02:53,314
<i>It was march 16, 1980-something,</i>

89
00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:55,983
<i>and my brother went to pick
up his girlfriend, Lainey.</i>

90
00:02:56,019 --> 00:02:59,175
<i>One problem... he had
to get by her dad first.</i>

91
00:02:59,223 --> 00:03:00,206
Lainey!

92
00:03:00,231 --> 00:03:03,002
The scream-y kid with the crazy
eyebrows is here.

93
00:03:03,027 --> 00:03:05,894
Special night.
It's our 10-month anniversary.

94
00:03:05,930 --> 00:03:07,896
Anniversaries are for years, not months,

95
00:03:08,074 --> 00:03:09,540
so you're celebrating nothing.

96
00:03:09,575 --> 00:03:10,714
Let me see your wallet.

97
00:03:10,739 --> 00:03:12,276
Here, take it.

98
00:03:12,311 --> 00:03:14,285
$6?

99
00:03:14,310 --> 00:03:15,597
Where do you plan to take her tonight?

100
00:03:15,660 --> 00:03:17,493
A vending machine at a bus station?

101
00:03:17,528 --> 00:03:19,061
Oh, it's fine. She usually pays.

102
00:03:19,097 --> 00:03:20,563
[Chuckles] Lainey: Hey, bar.

103
00:03:20,598 --> 00:03:24,066
♪

104
00:03:27,102 --> 00:03:28,737
Nope! Absolutely not! [Music stops]

105
00:03:28,762 --> 00:03:30,847
Shutting it down. [Clears throat]

106
00:03:30,872 --> 00:03:32,011
[Chuckles]

107
00:03:32,058 --> 00:03:33,858
If that jacket hits the floor
tonight, so do you.

108
00:03:33,893 --> 00:03:35,693
Okay, kids, have a great time.

109
00:03:35,729 --> 00:03:37,862
<i>Even though Barry had won
the love of his life,</i>

110
00:03:37,897 --> 00:03:40,589
<i>it was becoming clear he had
not won over her dad.</i>

111
00:03:41,035 --> 00:03:41,733
[Sighs] <i>Yet.</i>

112
00:03:41,768 --> 00:03:44,041
Nothing like a cold
one after work, am I right?

113
00:03:44,066 --> 00:03:45,519
Amen to that, brother!

114
00:03:45,738 --> 00:03:48,970
Love me the old brew
ha-ha, nectar of the gods,

115
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:51,309
foam hammer, wheat and greet,
little truth water,

116
00:03:51,344 --> 00:03:53,378
golden problem solver, beer.

117
00:03:53,413 --> 00:03:54,879
Move over, rover.

118
00:03:54,914 --> 00:03:57,705
- Are you telling me you drink?
- No!

119
00:03:57,730 --> 00:04:00,084
You just said you love cold suds.

120
00:04:00,120 --> 00:04:02,553
So which is it? Are you a lush or a liar?

121
00:04:02,589 --> 00:04:05,056
He's a moron. I'm gonna
grab us a refill, Mur.

122
00:04:05,316 --> 00:04:07,116
You want a six pack, Mickey Mantle?

123
00:04:07,141 --> 00:04:08,141
Mnh-mnh.

124
00:04:08,949 --> 00:04:10,699
- Why?
- I'm probably being a little paranoid,

125
00:04:10,738 --> 00:04:13,252
but it kind of seems like Bill
hates my living guts.

126
00:04:13,277 --> 00:04:14,876
Hoo-hoo! He sure does!

127
00:04:14,912 --> 00:04:15,738
I don't get it.

128
00:04:15,801 --> 00:04:18,682
Mom says I'm literally
a human ray of sunshine.

129
00:04:18,707 --> 00:04:19,707
Your mom's a nice lady,

130
00:04:19,741 --> 00:04:21,641
but she's done some real damage to you.

131
00:04:21,677 --> 00:04:23,643
I need Bill to be my friend.

132
00:04:23,679 --> 00:04:25,245
He's like a father to Lainey.

133
00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:26,346
You're the boyfriend.

134
00:04:26,381 --> 00:04:28,815
No Dad likes the guy
who's dating his daughter.

135
00:04:28,851 --> 00:04:30,150
So it's not personal.

136
00:04:30,185 --> 00:04:31,318
Yes!

137
00:04:31,353 --> 00:04:32,667
Top shelf.

138
00:04:33,021 --> 00:04:34,521
- Yeah, throw this away.
- No.

139
00:04:34,556 --> 00:04:35,956
- I'll time you.
- Okay, got to beat my record.

140
00:04:35,991 --> 00:04:37,858
<i>While Barry was happily distracted,</i>

141
00:04:37,893 --> 00:04:40,896
<i>I was focused on pulling
off the biggest scam ever.</i>

142
00:04:40,921 --> 00:04:42,231
Dude, what are you doing?

143
00:04:42,270 --> 00:04:43,754
I've had a revelation.

144
00:04:43,794 --> 00:04:46,428
Why create one fake name and get 12 tapes,

145
00:04:46,464 --> 00:04:48,264
when you can create infinite fake names

146
00:04:48,299 --> 00:04:49,864
and get<i> all</i> the tapes?

147
00:04:49,911 --> 00:04:51,810
Are you sure this is a good idea?

148
00:04:51,846 --> 00:04:53,479
I've thought of everything, Erica.

149
00:04:53,514 --> 00:04:56,315
See, Columbia house has agents everywhere

150
00:04:56,350 --> 00:04:57,816
looking to collect their money.

151
00:04:57,852 --> 00:05:00,219
But I'll be one step
ahead of them with this.

152
00:05:00,254 --> 00:05:01,926
Each of my phony identities

153
00:05:01,950 --> 00:05:03,995
has elaborately fleshed-out backstories

154
00:05:04,020 --> 00:05:05,692
that I've completely committed to memory.

155
00:05:05,731 --> 00:05:07,464
Optimus O'Prime? Really, dude?

156
00:05:07,499 --> 00:05:08,932
Whose first name is Optimus?

157
00:05:08,968 --> 00:05:09,900
This guy.

158
00:05:09,935 --> 00:05:11,520
He's a 41-year-old truck driver

159
00:05:11,567 --> 00:05:13,133
who spends his long nights on the road

160
00:05:13,169 --> 00:05:15,969
jamming to the soft-rock
stylings of Chicago.

161
00:05:16,006 --> 00:05:17,038
Ugh, why?

162
00:05:17,073 --> 00:05:19,207
Because I'm playing god, Erica.

163
00:05:19,242 --> 00:05:20,325
Meet Dr. Garth Vaderstein.

164
00:05:20,350 --> 00:05:23,111
He's got asthma and issues with his son.

165
00:05:23,146 --> 00:05:26,481
He's also got an insane
love of hall & Oates.

166
00:05:26,516 --> 00:05:27,916
Well, we all have hobbies.

167
00:05:27,951 --> 00:05:30,351
Next, meet Stu Voltron, age 43.

168
00:05:30,387 --> 00:05:32,153
He's a divorced veterinarian.

169
00:05:32,189 --> 00:05:33,869
The only thing he loves more than animals?

170
00:05:34,004 --> 00:05:35,123
Billy Joel.

171
00:05:35,158 --> 00:05:37,034
I think maybe you should pump the brakes

172
00:05:37,059 --> 00:05:38,159
on your life of crime.

173
00:05:38,195 --> 00:05:39,961
I think you should beat it, narc.

174
00:05:39,996 --> 00:05:42,096
[Doorbell rings] [Gasps] Yay, tapes.

175
00:05:42,132 --> 00:05:43,364
♪

176
00:05:43,400 --> 00:05:45,466
<i>For mere pennies, I had enough soft rock</i>

177
00:05:45,502 --> 00:05:48,303
<i>for two lifetimes.</i> Wow.

178
00:05:48,338 --> 00:05:50,572
That's a whole lot of music cassettes.

179
00:05:50,607 --> 00:05:52,207
How did you get the money for all that?

180
00:05:52,242 --> 00:05:53,508
Do you want to ask questions?

181
00:05:53,543 --> 00:05:55,143
Or do you want a little Neil Diamond?

182
00:05:56,575 --> 00:05:57,745
I saw nothing.

183
00:05:57,781 --> 00:06:00,348
Good answer. <i>As I was in way over my head,</i>

184
00:06:00,383 --> 00:06:02,637
<i>Barry was trying to make
some headway with Bill.</i>

185
00:06:04,473 --> 00:06:06,087
[Laughs]

186
00:06:06,122 --> 00:06:07,122
There he is.

187
00:06:07,157 --> 00:06:08,256
It's happening.

188
00:06:08,291 --> 00:06:10,158
He's changed his mind about me.

189
00:06:10,911 --> 00:06:14,295
Anthony Balsamo, you old son of a gun.

190
00:06:14,331 --> 00:06:16,431
Where you been? Why don't
you come around anymore?

191
00:06:16,466 --> 00:06:18,032
'Cause your beautiful
daughter broke up with me.

192
00:06:18,068 --> 00:06:19,901
Ah, women... Who can understand them?

193
00:06:19,936 --> 00:06:21,636
Hey, when am I gonna see you
out on the links again?

194
00:06:21,671 --> 00:06:23,571
My buddy and I have a tee
time this weekend.

195
00:06:23,607 --> 00:06:26,507
You should caddy for me. Keep
this duffer on the green.

196
00:06:26,543 --> 00:06:29,110
- Look out! [Laughs]
- [Laughs] Hey.

197
00:06:29,135 --> 00:06:30,153
Ugh.

198
00:06:30,178 --> 00:06:32,380
I hate it when my dad
talks golf with my ex.

199
00:06:32,415 --> 00:06:33,748
They used to do it
all the time when we dated.

200
00:06:33,783 --> 00:06:35,883
Your dad liked him
while you two were dating?

201
00:06:35,919 --> 00:06:37,819
I thought he hated me
'cause I'm your boyfriend.

202
00:06:37,854 --> 00:06:38,786
Oh, sweetie, no.

203
00:06:38,822 --> 00:06:41,055
My dad hates you as, like, a person.

204
00:06:41,091 --> 00:06:43,003
You being my boyfriend
is just a happy coincidence.

205
00:06:43,028 --> 00:06:43,802
Well, don't worry.

206
00:06:44,044 --> 00:06:46,744
I know a man who's got
the inside track on your dad,

207
00:06:46,781 --> 00:06:49,621
and he'll be more than happy to help me.

208
00:06:49,646 --> 00:06:52,813
Mmmmm, yeah, uh...

209
00:06:52,997 --> 00:06:54,863
What is that? Is that a yes or a no?

210
00:06:54,899 --> 00:06:57,633
Yeaaaa-no...

211
00:06:57,668 --> 00:06:59,735
You're mashing yes and no together.

212
00:06:59,770 --> 00:07:01,503
Speak clearly in English words.

213
00:07:01,539 --> 00:07:04,006
No... Yeah, uh...

214
00:07:04,041 --> 00:07:05,207
Come on, Dad.

215
00:07:05,242 --> 00:07:07,142
You're Bill's best friend.
Just talk to him for me.

216
00:07:07,178 --> 00:07:09,812
Talk? We mostly sit
in comfortable silence and drink.

217
00:07:09,847 --> 00:07:13,349
You never once told him how cool
or funny or athletic I am?

218
00:07:13,384 --> 00:07:15,584
You know, it's never come up,
and I don't think it ever will.

219
00:07:15,619 --> 00:07:16,952
Can you at least tell him how good I am

220
00:07:16,987 --> 00:07:18,554
at getting all the shampoo
out of my hair in the shower?

221
00:07:18,589 --> 00:07:20,043
As a favor to you, no.

222
00:07:20,068 --> 00:07:22,124
Did you tell him how I can
palm a volleyball?

223
00:07:22,159 --> 00:07:23,992
No, 'cause you can't do it consistently.

224
00:07:24,028 --> 00:07:25,794
Tell him how good I am
at all-you-can-eat shrimp.

225
00:07:25,830 --> 00:07:27,463
That red lobster hates me... Tell him.

226
00:07:27,498 --> 00:07:28,597
- No.
- Fine.

227
00:07:28,632 --> 00:07:30,366
If you're not gonna tell him about me,

228
00:07:30,401 --> 00:07:31,667
at least tell me about him.

229
00:07:31,702 --> 00:07:35,304
All I can tell you is he likes
cheesesteaks and the cowboys.

230
00:07:35,339 --> 00:07:36,772
That's all you know about him?

231
00:07:36,807 --> 00:07:38,841
Oh! He also likes John Denver.

232
00:07:39,496 --> 00:07:40,536
Perfect.

233
00:07:41,345 --> 00:07:42,644
Who are you? Dr. Doom?

234
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,214
<i>And so my brother was scheming
to win over Bill.</i>

235
00:07:45,239 --> 00:07:48,223
<i>Meanwhile, my mom was about to get
wise to</i> my<i> scheme.</i>

236
00:07:48,248 --> 00:07:50,348
Got a package for Papa Smurfenstein.

237
00:07:50,478 --> 00:07:51,965
I think you've got the wrong address.

238
00:07:52,059 --> 00:07:53,492
I suppose that means there's also

239
00:07:53,527 --> 00:07:55,294
- now Inspector Gidget?
- No.

240
00:07:55,329 --> 00:07:56,595
- Gary Grayskull?
- No.

241
00:07:56,630 --> 00:07:57,963
- Snake Plotkin?
- No.

242
00:07:57,998 --> 00:07:59,331
- Ivan Drago?
- No.

243
00:07:59,367 --> 00:08:00,966
- John Mcclaneberg?
- No.

244
00:08:01,001 --> 00:08:02,568
- Hulk Hulkerstein?
- No.

245
00:08:02,603 --> 00:08:03,902
- General Zod?
- No.

246
00:08:03,938 --> 00:08:05,704
Jean Claude Van Thunderdome?

247
00:08:05,740 --> 00:08:07,506
- What's going on?
- Let me guess.

248
00:08:07,541 --> 00:08:08,807
You have teenagers?

249
00:08:08,843 --> 00:08:10,276
Well, one of them's been using

250
00:08:10,301 --> 00:08:12,230
a lot of fake names to get free tapes.

251
00:08:12,255 --> 00:08:14,863
Well, I think it's obvious
who's responsible.

252
00:08:15,707 --> 00:08:16,673
- Me?!
- Yes, you.

253
00:08:16,709 --> 00:08:17,942
Who else would it be?

254
00:08:17,977 --> 00:08:19,643
Kermit D. Fonz?

255
00:08:19,679 --> 00:08:21,612
That's got Adam written all over it.

256
00:08:21,647 --> 00:08:23,971
You expect me to believe
that Adam did this?

257
00:08:23,996 --> 00:08:24,348
Yes.

258
00:08:24,384 --> 00:08:25,416
- Adam?
- Adam.

259
00:08:25,451 --> 00:08:27,017
My delicious little snuggle monster?

260
00:08:27,053 --> 00:08:28,786
- Yes, Adam.
- Adam?

261
00:08:28,821 --> 00:08:30,855
He's guilty. Tell her you're guilty.

262
00:08:30,890 --> 00:08:32,857
Why does she say these things, Mama?

263
00:08:32,882 --> 00:08:34,051
I'm just a little boy.

264
00:08:34,301 --> 00:08:36,702
See? He has an alibi. He's a little boy.

265
00:08:36,737 --> 00:08:38,949
Why do you always blame me for everything?

266
00:08:39,199 --> 00:08:41,166
Just open the box and look at the tapes,

267
00:08:41,201 --> 00:08:42,281
and you'll see it wasn't me.

268
00:08:42,335 --> 00:08:44,602
[Sighs]

269
00:08:44,639 --> 00:08:47,273
Weird Al, "The Songs Of 'Fraggle Rock",

270
00:08:47,308 --> 00:08:48,974
"The Best Of Andrew Lloyd Webber",

271
00:08:49,010 --> 00:08:52,707
and, finally, "101 Farts, Volume 2".

272
00:08:55,340 --> 00:08:58,097
Hope it was worth it, Erica.
You're grounded for a month.

273
00:08:58,153 --> 00:08:59,852
No phone, no crimper.

274
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:02,387
A month with smooth hair? Are you crazy?

275
00:09:03,590 --> 00:09:04,556
Tell her!

276
00:09:04,591 --> 00:09:06,892
Okay, fine. I-it really was me.

277
00:09:06,927 --> 00:09:08,226
I-it was such a good deal.

278
00:09:08,262 --> 00:09:10,228
I got caught in the heat of the moment.

279
00:09:10,264 --> 00:09:12,664
Which is also a song I got
for a fraction of a penny.

280
00:09:12,699 --> 00:09:15,400
Shh, you don't have
to lie for her anymore.

281
00:09:15,436 --> 00:09:16,468
- Seriously?
- What?

282
00:09:16,503 --> 00:09:18,470
Let Mama make you a banana split.

283
00:09:18,505 --> 00:09:20,972
[Chuckles] Okay? You get nothing.

284
00:09:21,332 --> 00:09:23,542
Oof, tough break.

285
00:09:23,577 --> 00:09:25,610
Take Sheila e. For your troubles.

286
00:09:25,646 --> 00:09:28,413
[Clatter] This is ridiculous.

287
00:09:28,449 --> 00:09:29,748
Why do I always get blamed

288
00:09:29,783 --> 00:09:31,683
for everything that goes
wrong in this house?

289
00:09:31,718 --> 00:09:33,084
'Cause you do most of it.

290
00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,920
You know, if mom thinks I'm so bad,

291
00:09:34,955 --> 00:09:37,986
maybe it's time to show her
how bad I can really be.

292
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:41,526
Wait, this was you holding back?

293
00:09:41,562 --> 00:09:43,862
Oh, this is not good.

294
00:09:44,879 --> 00:09:46,815
<i>Tired of being labeled the troublemaker,</i>

295
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:49,065
<i>my sister decided to live up to her name.</i>

296
00:09:49,090 --> 00:09:50,200
Wow, yeah, okay.

297
00:09:50,225 --> 00:09:51,958
Let's do this. Let's shoplift.

298
00:09:51,993 --> 00:09:54,360
Trust me... It's super fun and easy.

299
00:09:54,395 --> 00:09:56,562
And also the only thing
that really makes me feel alive.

300
00:09:56,598 --> 00:09:58,197
Ooh! Fanny packs.

301
00:09:58,233 --> 00:09:59,673
I mean, how much worse is shoplifting

302
00:09:59,701 --> 00:10:01,434
than scamming Columbia house anyway?

303
00:10:01,469 --> 00:10:02,902
Getting 12 tapes for a penny

304
00:10:02,937 --> 00:10:04,871
is like the same thing as shoplifting.

305
00:10:04,906 --> 00:10:05,906
Just a tip...

306
00:10:05,942 --> 00:10:08,443
Maybe don't say "shoplifting" so
much while you're shoplifting.

307
00:10:08,478 --> 00:10:10,035
Right, gotcha.

308
00:10:10,379 --> 00:10:11,964
'Cause we're not shoplifting,

309
00:10:11,989 --> 00:10:14,135
which is, by the way,
totally a victimless crime.

310
00:10:14,160 --> 00:10:16,725
I'm hearing a lot of justifying
and not a lot of stealing.

311
00:10:17,147 --> 00:10:19,214
Catch up, girl.

312
00:10:19,239 --> 00:10:21,597
<i>Yep, my sister was ready
for a life of crime</i>

313
00:10:21,606 --> 00:10:25,074
<i>just as Barry was preparing
to steal Bill's heart.</i>

314
00:10:25,109 --> 00:10:26,152
Gentlemen!

315
00:10:26,246 --> 00:10:28,012
Thought you might like to load
up on some meat and cheese

316
00:10:28,048 --> 00:10:30,314
before an active day in the hot sun.

317
00:10:30,444 --> 00:10:31,643
You're a fan, right, Bill?

318
00:10:31,668 --> 00:10:33,918
Of Geno's cheesesteaks. You bought Pat's.

319
00:10:33,953 --> 00:10:35,153
Why not just punch me in the face?

320
00:10:35,188 --> 00:10:37,889
Aren't they directly
across the street from each other

321
00:10:37,924 --> 00:10:39,424
with the exact same ingredients?

322
00:10:39,459 --> 00:10:41,591
Go on... punch my face. Do it.

323
00:10:41,616 --> 00:10:44,851
Or we go to the Eagles-Cowboys game.

324
00:10:44,886 --> 00:10:47,086
50-yard line, root for America's team?

325
00:10:47,122 --> 00:10:48,722
I thought you were a Diehard Eagles fan.

326
00:10:48,757 --> 00:10:50,156
Until I discovered the cowboys,

327
00:10:50,191 --> 00:10:52,992
my other favorite team,
which happens to be yours.

328
00:10:53,027 --> 00:10:54,927
You're gonna turn on The
Eagles just like that?

329
00:10:54,963 --> 00:10:56,963
Son, don't you have any spine at all?

330
00:10:56,998 --> 00:10:58,664
No. But you know what I do have?

331
00:10:59,467 --> 00:11:01,901
Matching bucket hats!

332
00:11:01,936 --> 00:11:03,069
- Why?
- Oh, no.

333
00:11:03,104 --> 00:11:04,871
'Cause you love Bob Denver.

334
00:11:04,906 --> 00:11:06,739
You know, Gilligan, from the island.

335
00:11:06,775 --> 00:11:08,074
- What?
- He's my favorite, too.

336
00:11:08,109 --> 00:11:10,443
I don't like<i> Bob</i> Denver.
I like<i> John</i> Denver.

337
00:11:10,478 --> 00:11:12,612
- Is there a difference?
- Oh, no.

338
00:11:12,647 --> 00:11:15,548
Yes, one is folk icon who melts my heart.

339
00:11:15,856 --> 00:11:17,456
The other is a scrawny weirdo

340
00:11:17,481 --> 00:11:19,543
who couldn't close
with ginger or Mary Ann.

341
00:11:19,568 --> 00:11:22,066
[Laughs] I totally know the difference.

342
00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:23,745
I'm just busting chops.

343
00:11:23,770 --> 00:11:25,621
I just got you this hat
so your head won't burn.

344
00:11:25,660 --> 00:11:26,692
Are you calling me bald?

345
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:28,795
No, you have a beautiful head of hair.

346
00:11:28,830 --> 00:11:29,830
On the sides.

347
00:11:29,864 --> 00:11:31,164
You look like a judge.

348
00:11:31,199 --> 00:11:32,729
Well, it's almost tee time.

349
00:11:32,754 --> 00:11:34,246
Come on, Barry. You're
gonna come with us today.

350
00:11:34,270 --> 00:11:35,082
- He is?
- I am?

351
00:11:35,114 --> 00:11:37,114
Yeah, I invited the boy to join us.

352
00:11:37,149 --> 00:11:38,323
- You did?
- You did?

353
00:11:38,348 --> 00:11:39,948
Yeah, Barry and I play golf all the time.

354
00:11:39,983 --> 00:11:41,048
It's our thing.

355
00:11:41,084 --> 00:11:42,617
I've never golfed with you, not once.

356
00:11:42,652 --> 00:11:45,219
Moron, I'm doing you a solid.

357
00:11:45,497 --> 00:11:46,863
Don't blow this.

358
00:11:47,724 --> 00:11:50,825
<i>My dad did Barry the rare solid.</i>

359
00:11:50,860 --> 00:11:55,062
<i>Now all Barry had to do
was drive it home with Bill.</i>

360
00:11:55,090 --> 00:11:58,491
Ah, golf. The sport of kings.

361
00:11:58,535 --> 00:12:00,134
And queens... Equal rights.

362
00:12:00,170 --> 00:12:02,270
[Chuckles] I respect your foxy daughter.

363
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,705
No, not foxy... She's an uggo to me.

364
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,266
Not everyone else.

365
00:12:06,291 --> 00:12:09,025
They all think she has
an awesome, plump butt.

366
00:12:09,561 --> 00:12:11,017
What the [Bleep] man?

367
00:12:12,764 --> 00:12:15,033
Okay, you're trying way too hard.

368
00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:16,541
I get it... be myself.

369
00:12:16,596 --> 00:12:17,795
No, don't do that either.

370
00:12:17,831 --> 00:12:19,024
Wild Bill!

371
00:12:19,049 --> 00:12:21,149
- You need a caddy?
- There he is.

372
00:12:21,184 --> 00:12:22,450
Anthony Balsamo's here?

373
00:12:22,486 --> 00:12:24,686
I can't compete with him.
He's a total babe.

374
00:12:24,721 --> 00:12:26,955
Relax, you're playing golf with Bill.

375
00:12:26,990 --> 00:12:28,924
- He's just the caddy.
- You're right.

376
00:12:28,959 --> 00:12:31,693
He's the caddy... The guy behind the guy.

377
00:12:31,728 --> 00:12:33,995
He's the one in Bill's ear
whispering sweet advice.

378
00:12:34,031 --> 00:12:35,964
- That's what I got to do.
- Not what I meant.

379
00:12:35,990 --> 00:12:38,752
Hey, pretty boy. Take a lap, I got this.

380
00:12:40,771 --> 00:12:42,570
Just give me a sec. I'll catch up.

381
00:12:42,606 --> 00:12:45,607
♪

382
00:12:53,010 --> 00:12:55,080
Hey, I got a package for Lucky Goldberg.

383
00:12:55,096 --> 00:12:56,080
Gonna need your signature.

384
00:12:56,105 --> 00:12:57,337
Yeah, Lucky's a dog.

385
00:12:57,362 --> 00:12:58,828
Then I don't know what to do.

386
00:12:59,878 --> 00:13:01,141
Please don't slam the door.

387
00:13:01,166 --> 00:13:02,432
The nerve of that Erica.

388
00:13:02,533 --> 00:13:03,642
First she frames her brother,

389
00:13:03,666 --> 00:13:05,866
and then she ropes
in our sweet little puppy.

390
00:13:05,891 --> 00:13:07,751
You're not cut out for a life of crime.

391
00:13:07,776 --> 00:13:08,908
You're just a Cockapoo.

392
00:13:08,943 --> 00:13:10,056
I ordered the tapes.

393
00:13:10,112 --> 00:13:12,913
I mean, it's like that girl
doesn't ever hear a word I say.

394
00:13:12,948 --> 00:13:14,946
I ordered the tapes.

395
00:13:14,971 --> 00:13:15,903
She's my daughter.

396
00:13:15,938 --> 00:13:17,872
How come she refuses to listen to me?

397
00:13:17,907 --> 00:13:21,308
My god, woman. <i>I</i> ordered the damn tapes.

398
00:13:21,344 --> 00:13:23,977
I saw Adam do it, and I wanted in.

399
00:13:24,002 --> 00:13:26,135
Wait. It was you?

400
00:13:26,642 --> 00:13:28,471
<i>With that, my mom finally realized</i>

401
00:13:28,506 --> 00:13:30,573
<i>she did blame Erica for everything,</i>

402
00:13:30,608 --> 00:13:32,208
<i>even when she was clearly innocent.</i>

403
00:13:32,243 --> 00:13:33,776
Uh, mom?

404
00:13:33,811 --> 00:13:35,544
It's for you. Erica's in mall jail.

405
00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:39,915
<i>And two seconds later, Erica
was back to being guilty.</i>

406
00:13:39,951 --> 00:13:42,785
I stole something else,
but you're never gonna find it.

407
00:13:43,517 --> 00:13:45,688
Your friend's weird.

408
00:13:45,723 --> 00:13:47,523
[Sighs] There you are.

409
00:13:47,558 --> 00:13:49,244
Classic Erica.

410
00:13:49,276 --> 00:13:50,716
You know, I actually started to think

411
00:13:50,744 --> 00:13:53,678
maybe I'd been too hard on you,
and then you go and shoplift?

412
00:13:53,747 --> 00:13:56,614
And the worst thing is I'm
not even surprised.

413
00:13:56,683 --> 00:13:58,917
Actually, your daughter
didn't do anything wrong.

414
00:13:58,952 --> 00:14:00,462
I was just having her stick around

415
00:14:00,487 --> 00:14:02,988
because this one is freaking me out.

416
00:14:03,022 --> 00:14:03,877
It's true.

417
00:14:03,924 --> 00:14:06,688
Erica tried to talk me
out of it, and I didn't listen.

418
00:14:06,713 --> 00:14:08,313
Oh, god, my stomach's in knots.

419
00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:09,991
Can I use the bathroom?

420
00:14:10,016 --> 00:14:11,291
This way.

421
00:14:11,316 --> 00:14:13,895
<i>Accusing Erica yet again
didn't help matters.</i>

422
00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,821
<i>Luckily, my mom had a way with words.</i>

423
00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:17,856
So...

424
00:14:19,337 --> 00:14:22,752
Honest mistake, you know?

425
00:14:22,845 --> 00:14:24,220
Pedicures, my treat?

426
00:14:24,244 --> 00:14:26,377
You know, you made me feel
like such a bad person

427
00:14:26,413 --> 00:14:28,564
that I actually thought about stealing.

428
00:14:28,752 --> 00:14:29,736
Schmoo, I'm sorry...

429
00:14:29,761 --> 00:14:32,428
I don't want to hear
you're sorry ever again.

430
00:14:32,822 --> 00:14:34,545
No matter what I do,

431
00:14:34,570 --> 00:14:37,538
you're always gonna
expect the worst from me.

432
00:14:37,590 --> 00:14:42,059
You have no idea how hard
that is coming from you.

433
00:14:42,088 --> 00:14:43,921
No idea.

434
00:14:44,167 --> 00:14:47,908
♪

435
00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:49,733
Carla: You'll never catch me, mall hog!

436
00:14:49,839 --> 00:14:53,441
I feel so alive!

437
00:14:53,955 --> 00:14:56,665
<i>Even though Bill Lewis was having
the round of his life,</i>

438
00:14:56,690 --> 00:14:59,587
<i>my brother was having no
luck breaking the ice.</i>

439
00:14:59,612 --> 00:15:02,046
Being a caddy sucks.

440
00:15:02,081 --> 00:15:05,449
All Bill wants me to do is wash
his balls and hold his bag.

441
00:15:05,485 --> 00:15:06,717
It's funny but hard work.

442
00:15:06,753 --> 00:15:08,352
I told you not to caddy for him.

443
00:15:08,388 --> 00:15:09,899
[Sighs] I messed this whole thing up.

444
00:15:09,924 --> 00:15:11,590
I'll never get another shot with Bill.

445
00:15:11,625 --> 00:15:13,826
All right. I'm gonna help you.

446
00:15:13,861 --> 00:15:15,427
- For real?
- Yeah.

447
00:15:15,463 --> 00:15:17,863
But this counts as your birthday present.

448
00:15:17,898 --> 00:15:19,798
Hey, Bill. Tweaked my shoulder.

449
00:15:19,834 --> 00:15:21,600
Barry's gonna finish the round for me.

450
00:15:21,635 --> 00:15:24,385
[Sighs] Gonna use a driver on this one.

451
00:15:24,410 --> 00:15:25,408
You're 60 yards out.

452
00:15:25,433 --> 00:15:27,353
Don't use my expensive
driver for this chip shot.

453
00:15:27,378 --> 00:15:30,627
Unh-unh-unh-unh, no
talking in my backswing.

454
00:15:30,811 --> 00:15:33,178
I learned that after I did
it to you three times.

455
00:15:33,214 --> 00:15:35,080
<i>It was now or never.</i>

456
00:15:35,116 --> 00:15:37,349
<i>Barry would have to dig
down deep inside himself</i>

457
00:15:37,384 --> 00:15:39,451
<i>and do the impossible.</i>

458
00:15:43,257 --> 00:15:44,857
Son of a bitch.

459
00:15:44,892 --> 00:15:45,958
That's about right.

460
00:15:45,993 --> 00:15:48,260
It's okay. I got this.

461
00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:49,761
Whoa!

462
00:15:49,797 --> 00:15:51,864
Way colder than I thought.

463
00:15:51,899 --> 00:15:55,150
<i>As Barry desperately flailed
in that murky golf pond,</i>

464
00:15:55,175 --> 00:15:58,306
<i>my dad realized the kid really
needed a life preserver.</i>

465
00:15:58,472 --> 00:16:00,639
Starting to see why you
call him moron so much.

466
00:16:00,674 --> 00:16:03,075
Yeah, well, the thing is

467
00:16:03,110 --> 00:16:05,377
he's the sweetest moron
you'd ever want to meet.

468
00:16:05,412 --> 00:16:06,979
And he loves your daughter...

469
00:16:07,014 --> 00:16:10,015
So much that he'd do
anything to impress you.

470
00:16:10,050 --> 00:16:11,950
I'm feeling around with my feet.

471
00:16:11,986 --> 00:16:13,418
It's mostly old golf balls

472
00:16:13,454 --> 00:16:16,054
and something with scales
that's not afraid of humans.

473
00:16:16,090 --> 00:16:19,158
So, please, cut the kid some slack.

474
00:16:19,549 --> 00:16:20,626
Ohh!

475
00:16:20,661 --> 00:16:22,394
I think I drowned a little.

476
00:16:22,429 --> 00:16:24,530
It was a very peaceful feeling.

477
00:16:24,565 --> 00:16:26,365
I saw my old Gerbil. I'm going back in.

478
00:16:28,135 --> 00:16:30,235
There's my baby.

479
00:16:30,271 --> 00:16:32,885
I made you your favorite...
Cheeseburger lasagna.

480
00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:33,942
Pass.

481
00:16:33,967 --> 00:16:35,767
I don't want to get blamed if you burn it,

482
00:16:35,943 --> 00:16:37,910
so I'll just eat a lunchable.

483
00:16:37,945 --> 00:16:40,689
But... Those are for lunch.

484
00:16:40,714 --> 00:16:42,314
It's the wrong meal.

485
00:16:42,339 --> 00:16:44,473
Wow, you really have failed as a mother.

486
00:16:44,532 --> 00:16:46,966
Hey. I'm the only one allowed to say that.

487
00:16:46,991 --> 00:16:48,157
Well, it's true.

488
00:16:48,182 --> 00:16:50,415
You punished Erica for something I did,

489
00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,373
almost turning her to a life a crime.

490
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,537
If that ain't failing,
I don't know what is.

491
00:16:54,562 --> 00:16:56,461
Oh, you're right.

492
00:16:56,497 --> 00:16:57,635
I want to tell her I'm sorry,

493
00:16:57,660 --> 00:16:59,898
but she refuses to hear it from me.

494
00:16:59,934 --> 00:17:03,101
<i>It dawned on me that I could
finally use my crime for good.</i>

495
00:17:03,137 --> 00:17:06,205
Maybe there's someone else who can say it.

496
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,673
<i>Thanks to my scam,</i>

497
00:17:07,708 --> 00:17:09,942
<i>there was one tape
that was worth every penny.</i>

498
00:17:09,977 --> 00:17:12,728
<i>And it was the perfect
way to say "I'm sorry."</i>

499
00:17:13,113 --> 00:17:14,046
Honey.

500
00:17:14,081 --> 00:17:15,480
Go away.

501
00:17:15,516 --> 00:17:18,317
I'm trying to enjoy my four
crackers and ham square.

502
00:17:18,352 --> 00:17:19,352
Look.

503
00:17:19,947 --> 00:17:22,760
I don't blame for acting
out after the way I treated you.

504
00:17:22,785 --> 00:17:25,757
I really don't want to talk
right now... or ever.

505
00:17:26,283 --> 00:17:28,227
Well, you don't have to

506
00:17:28,262 --> 00:17:31,430
because I found a band
that'll do it for us.

507
00:17:34,181 --> 00:17:37,970
<i>Sure, Columbia house drove
Erica and my mom far apart.</i>

508
00:17:38,005 --> 00:17:40,650
<i>But it would also bring
them closer than ever.</i>

509
00:17:40,675 --> 00:17:43,709
- ♪ Everybody needs a little time away ♪
- ♪<i> everybody needs a little time away</i> ♪

510
00:17:43,744 --> 00:17:45,410
No, not Chicago.

511
00:17:45,446 --> 00:17:47,246
- ♪ I heard her say ♪
- ♪<i> I heard her say</i> ♪

512
00:17:47,281 --> 00:17:48,880
Stop doing what you're doing.

513
00:17:48,916 --> 00:17:53,613
- ♪ Far away from their mother ♪
- ♪<i> far away from each other</i> ♪

514
00:17:53,668 --> 00:17:55,301
Don't make the words about you.

515
00:17:55,336 --> 00:17:57,637
- ♪ Hold me, Schmoo ♪
- this is a nightmare.

516
00:17:57,672 --> 00:18:00,792
- ♪ It's hard for me to say I'm sorry ♪
- ♪<i> it's hard for me to say I'm sorry</i> ♪

517
00:18:01,843 --> 00:18:05,178
- ♪ I just want you to stay ♪
- ♪<i> I just want you to stay</i> ♪

518
00:18:05,213 --> 00:18:06,683
This is the worst.

519
00:18:07,543 --> 00:18:12,151
- [Sniffles] ♪ after all that we've been through ♪
- ♪<i> after all that we've been through</i> ♪

520
00:18:12,187 --> 00:18:15,121
- ♪ I will make it up to you ♪
- ♪<i> I will make it up to you</i> ♪

521
00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:19,582
- ♪ I promise to ♪
- ♪<i> I promise to</i> ♪

522
00:18:20,628 --> 00:18:25,621
- ♪ and after all that's been said and done ♪
- ♪<i> and after all that's been said and done</i> ♪

523
00:18:26,129 --> 00:18:32,050
- ♪ you're just the part of me I can't let go ♪
- ♪<i> you're just the part of me I can't let go</i> ♪

524
00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,840
Adult Adam: <i>And with the help
of one soft-rock band,</i>

525
00:18:34,876 --> 00:18:37,944
<i>my mom was truly able to say sorry.</i>

526
00:18:37,979 --> 00:18:41,414
- ♪ Couldn't stand to be kept away ♪
- ♪<i> couldn't stand to be kept away</i> ♪

527
00:18:41,449 --> 00:18:42,548
♪ just for today ♪

528
00:18:42,576 --> 00:18:44,742
There he is. You old son of a gun.

529
00:18:44,786 --> 00:18:45,688
- Are you talking to me?

530
00:18:45,713 --> 00:18:46,852
- Yeah.
-♪ From your body ♪

531
00:18:46,888 --> 00:18:49,255
Hey, sweetie. Can I have
a minute with my caddy?

532
00:18:49,290 --> 00:18:51,257
No.

533
00:18:51,292 --> 00:18:53,941
- ♪ Wouldn't want to be swept away ♪
- Be nice.

534
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:57,247
[Sighs]

535
00:18:57,298 --> 00:19:00,199
♪ Far away
from the one that I love ♪ listen.

536
00:19:00,235 --> 00:19:02,935
I know I've been hard on you,
but there's a reason.

537
00:19:02,971 --> 00:19:05,037
- ♪ Hold me now ♪
- 'cause I'm not awesome like Anthony Balsamo?

538
00:19:05,073 --> 00:19:06,172
[Scoffs] No.

539
00:19:06,207 --> 00:19:07,373
To tell the truth,

540
00:19:07,408 --> 00:19:09,976
I knew those other guys were
just a flash in the pan.

541
00:19:10,011 --> 00:19:14,146
But what you two have, it's the real deal.

542
00:19:14,182 --> 00:19:15,615
You think so?

543
00:19:15,650 --> 00:19:19,719
Yeah. It's... Scary.

544
00:19:19,754 --> 00:19:23,566
I guess I'm just not ready
to lose my little girl.

545
00:19:23,591 --> 00:19:26,559
But I'm gonna try to be better about it.

546
00:19:27,929 --> 00:19:30,896
<i>Inspired by the girl they both loved,</i>

547
00:19:30,932 --> 00:19:34,166
<i>Bill decided to start a new
chapter with Barry.</i> [Laughs]

548
00:19:34,202 --> 00:19:37,770
<i>As for me, I closed the book
on my life of crime.</i>

549
00:19:37,805 --> 00:19:39,772
Not so fun getting
grounded for a month, huh?

550
00:19:39,807 --> 00:19:42,808
Honestly, it's a relief.
I was on a dark road.

551
00:19:42,844 --> 00:19:44,610
Farewell, Garth Vaderstein.

552
00:19:44,646 --> 00:19:45,566
Nice knowing you.

553
00:19:45,591 --> 00:19:48,025
Don't talk to him, Erica. He's grounded.

554
00:19:48,182 --> 00:19:49,559
You know, you could learn a thing or two

555
00:19:49,584 --> 00:19:51,217
from you big sister.

556
00:19:51,252 --> 00:19:53,630
<i>And my mom finally turned
a new page with Erica.</i>

557
00:19:53,763 --> 00:19:55,138
I really could.

558
00:19:55,752 --> 00:19:57,852
Made you a banana split.

559
00:19:58,192 --> 00:19:59,792
You get nothing.

560
00:20:01,390 --> 00:20:03,357
Hey, jailbird. Want to split this?

561
00:20:03,382 --> 00:20:04,648
I would like that.

562
00:20:04,732 --> 00:20:07,733
<i>Growing up, we're all seen a certain way.</i>

563
00:20:07,769 --> 00:20:10,236
Yes! Mark it down... Octuple Bogey!

564
00:20:10,271 --> 00:20:11,804
Whoo!

565
00:20:11,839 --> 00:20:16,475
<i>But the people you love always
see you for who you really are.</i>

566
00:20:16,511 --> 00:20:18,811
- He's a moron.
- He really is.

567
00:20:18,846 --> 00:20:21,280
<i>And that's something worth celebrating.</i>

568
00:20:21,316 --> 00:20:23,582
♪

569
00:20:24,852 --> 00:20:27,186
Adam: This is my tapes, my other tapes.

570
00:20:32,775 --> 00:20:34,207
Welcome to Contempo Casuals.

571
00:20:34,232 --> 00:20:35,931
Did you find all the hot styles
you were looking for today?

572
00:20:35,967 --> 00:20:37,800
What? Since when do you work here?

573
00:20:37,835 --> 00:20:39,802
I had no choice.

574
00:20:39,837 --> 00:20:41,637
I'm into Columbia house... Deep.

575
00:20:41,712 --> 00:20:44,825
They send me letters every day.
I owe them hundreds.

576
00:20:44,849 --> 00:20:47,598
I told you to read
the fine print, Dave Kim.

577
00:20:47,623 --> 00:20:49,089
Shh! Don't say my name!

578
00:20:49,125 --> 00:20:50,934
They have agents everywhere.

579
00:20:50,959 --> 00:20:52,926
Look, that girl checking
out the stirrup pants.

580
00:20:52,961 --> 00:20:55,095
She's here for me. I don't
have your money, man.

581
00:20:55,130 --> 00:20:57,998
I'll get it! Just give me time!

582
00:20:58,033 --> 00:21:00,467
[Crying] I need more time.

583
00:21:00,491 --> 00:21:02,491
Synced and corrected by Nest0r
www.addic7ed.com

