1
00:00:23,600 --> 00:00:24,589
(BLOWING)
2
00:00:36,960 --> 00:00:37,949
(SNIFFLES)
3
00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:45,675
(TICKING)
4
00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:54,714
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
5
00:01:02,640 --> 00:01:04,517
Hello, Bournemouth 2353.
6
00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:08,954
Yes, Gerald Durrell is my son.
7
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:21,188
Gerry.
8
00:01:25,800 --> 00:01:26,789
(DOOR OPENS)
9
00:01:27,520 --> 00:01:28,509
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
10
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,233
SECRETARY: Mrs Durrell...
11
00:01:30,360 --> 00:01:32,590
You have just caned my son.
12
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,709
In a just society,
you would be tied to a tree and whipped
13
00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,917
for beating an innocent child.
14
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:41,594
He would rather feed the rats
behind the cricket pavilion
15
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:42,749
than attend his classes.
16
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:47,510
Yes, because he's been bullied ever
since arriving at this pitiful school!
17
00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:49,830
And why do you think that is, dear?
18
00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:54,030
Because... He's a bit different.
19
00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:57,559
That's why children are bullied,
you moron.
20
00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:01,397
It's easy to see
where his incivility comes from.
21
00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,675
Don't use that language.
22
00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:07,879
Don't instruct me.
I am not one of your witless flunkies.
23
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:11,795
No offence. I'm sure you would be
lovely, if you were allowed to be.
24
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:15,830
The purpose of education
is to draw the best out of children,
25
00:02:15,920 --> 00:02:17,399
not to beat fear into them.
26
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:21,991
A father would no doubt have ironed out
more of their shortcomings.
27
00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:24,791
I look forward to a letter of apology.
28
00:02:24,880 --> 00:02:26,518
Oh, he won't be returning.
29
00:02:27,040 --> 00:02:29,190
I'd rather he were taught by monkeys.
30
00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:31,039
Mum, I'd love that.
31
00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,117
- Can we do that?
- Don't be daft, Gerry.
32
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:48,429
- (SMACKS)
- Ow!
33
00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,909
What do you mean, I'm a bit different?
34
00:02:52,120 --> 00:02:54,111
(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)
35
00:02:56,000 --> 00:03:02,000
Ripped By mstoll
36
00:03:42,800 --> 00:03:43,789
(SLURPING)
37
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:45,709
(DOOR OPENS)
38
00:03:47,760 --> 00:03:50,513
How could you have stood by
and let me become an estate agent?
39
00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:52,679
I am a writer.
40
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:55,116
You don't actually write, though,
do you, darling?
41
00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:57,839
- Yes, I'm a fashion model.
- (CHUCKLES) Fighter pilot.
42
00:03:58,120 --> 00:03:59,109
Mmm.
43
00:03:59,480 --> 00:04:02,438
- Oh, by the way, I've left school.
- No, you haven't.
44
00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,078
Look if Gerry can do it, so can I.
45
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:06,868
Anyway, I've taken my uniform
into the garden and shot it, so...
46
00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:10,517
I might as well leave, too.
I'm as thick as two short planks.
47
00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:12,352
As soon as I can find a husband,
I'll be off.
48
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:14,870
What is the matter with all of you?
49
00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,518
GERRY: Roger.
50
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:20,750
LARRY: Here he is,
the unteachable leading the untrainable.
51
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:21,989
(SIGHS)
52
00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:25,919
We should go to Corfu.
53
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,592
MARGO: I've been.
54
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,479
- Corfu Castle.
- Huh.
55
00:04:29,560 --> 00:04:31,312
I'm not going back
till they've put a roof on it.
56
00:04:31,400 --> 00:04:33,231
It's Corfe Castle, darling.
57
00:04:33,320 --> 00:04:34,639
(LAUGHS) Jesus, Margo!
58
00:04:34,960 --> 00:04:37,633
- No, Corfu's a Greek island.
- I told you I was dim.
59
00:04:38,200 --> 00:04:39,519
- (SHATTERS)
- (SHRIEKS)
60
00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:41,830
Darling, you are not dim!
61
00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:44,914
You're 16,
what's all this about a husband?
62
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,638
My friend Donald lives in Corfu.
63
00:04:46,720 --> 00:04:48,392
He says it's dirt cheap,
so I can write there,
64
00:04:48,480 --> 00:04:51,358
full of disgusting animals for Gerry,
and Leslie, you can shoot them.
65
00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:53,473
- Hey Margo...
- I'll pack.
66
00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,790
We are not going anywhere.
67
00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:58,992
We can't just run away
from our problems.
68
00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:10,152
Good afternoon, Mrs Durrell.
69
00:05:10,360 --> 00:05:12,635
- Oh, Louisa, please.
- Indeed.
70
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,717
We widowed folk must stick together.
71
00:05:15,560 --> 00:05:18,393
- You should come and have that sherry.
- Yes, I should.
72
00:05:18,640 --> 00:05:22,713
Since I retired I've played
a lot of bowls. Do you play?
73
00:05:23,680 --> 00:05:26,274
If only I had the time. And the bowls.
(LAUGHS)
74
00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,429
Let me speak plainly.
75
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:33,232
You are an attractive lady
and I am an attractive man.
76
00:05:34,080 --> 00:05:37,072
The children need a father figure.
77
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:41,035
And I'm a big admirer
of boarding schools.
78
00:05:45,840 --> 00:05:47,398
Come on! (LAUGHS)
79
00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:18,509
(SIGHS)
80
00:06:26,120 --> 00:06:27,109
(DOOR CLOSES)
81
00:06:37,200 --> 00:06:38,189
Er...
82
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,228
Hello.
83
00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,433
Why are you so miserable?
84
00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:51,554
Perhaps it's because
I thought I was a good mother
85
00:06:51,640 --> 00:06:55,872
and yet, all I've managed to do is
bring up one unteachable son,
86
00:06:55,960 --> 00:07:00,351
one psychopath,
one vacuous daughter and you.
87
00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:02,956
- What's wrong with me?
- And worse than that,
88
00:07:03,760 --> 00:07:05,478
none of you seems happy.
89
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:08,270
There's no laughter
in this house any more.
90
00:07:08,920 --> 00:07:11,480
Writers shouldn't be happy.
It's counter-productive.
91
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:13,909
You're not a writer, darling,
you sell houses.
92
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,638
Oh, it's a flag of convenience.
93
00:07:18,080 --> 00:07:21,311
What about you, you drink like a fish,
if fish drunk gin.
94
00:07:25,440 --> 00:07:26,429
(LARRY SIGHS)
95
00:07:28,960 --> 00:07:33,431
And I know we've got money problems.
There are no secrets in this family.
96
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,355
There are secrets, actually.
97
00:07:38,960 --> 00:07:40,313
Oh, God, you're not dying, are you?
98
00:07:40,760 --> 00:07:42,273
No, I'm not dying.
99
00:07:43,040 --> 00:07:44,029
(SIGHS)
100
00:07:46,120 --> 00:07:47,473
The secret is...
101
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,199
That I can't live like this any more.
102
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:57,633
When you were all small,
it was like we were on a journey,
103
00:07:58,080 --> 00:07:59,399
always moving forward.
104
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,869
And now we've stopped moving forward...
105
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:05,199
And we are sinking.
106
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:09,755
(INHALES)
107
00:08:09,840 --> 00:08:16,029
So, for once in my life, Larry,
I have decided to take your advice.
108
00:08:19,120 --> 00:08:20,269
Which advice?
109
00:08:47,840 --> 00:08:48,829
(SNORES)
110
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:11,833
(SPEAKING GREEK)
111
00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,157
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
112
00:09:25,760 --> 00:09:26,749
(HORSE WHINNYING)
113
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:31,595
You know, a taxi would probably cost
the same as a banana in Bournemouth.
114
00:09:31,680 --> 00:09:34,035
We should start as we mean to go on.
115
00:09:34,120 --> 00:09:37,317
- Wanting to kill each other?
- That's economising.
116
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:41,189
Look, I can see the village
up ahead, look.
117
00:09:42,720 --> 00:09:43,755
(LOUISA GRUNTS)
118
00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:45,558
You are not serious.
119
00:09:45,760 --> 00:09:46,909
Now, look.
120
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,638
The house sale barely covered our debts.
121
00:09:48,920 --> 00:09:50,558
We have no money.
122
00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:54,309
- I have a miserly widow's pension...
- You are a miserly widow.
123
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:57,870
Be quiet.
And you all earn precisely nothing.
124
00:09:58,320 --> 00:09:59,719
We're not on holiday.
125
00:09:59,800 --> 00:10:00,869
We are here to live,
126
00:10:00,960 --> 00:10:04,748
like local people,
in joy and togetherness,
127
00:10:04,840 --> 00:10:07,752
without the trappings
of so-called civilisation,
128
00:10:07,840 --> 00:10:12,789
which as far as I can tell,
basically means cruelty and alienation.
129
00:10:13,080 --> 00:10:15,799
It's going to be wonderful.
130
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:16,955
(HONKING)
131
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,435
Don't talk to him.
132
00:10:19,520 --> 00:10:21,238
Everybody here only speaks Greek,
anyway.
133
00:10:21,880 --> 00:10:23,552
- Hi. You peoples want a taxi?
- No, thank you.
134
00:10:23,720 --> 00:10:25,438
- Yes. Yes. Absolutely.
- Thank God you're here.
135
00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:27,716
- Where you going?
- Er, we like walking.
136
00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:31,190
Ignore her, we're going to that
guesthouse in the far, far distance.
137
00:10:31,480 --> 00:10:33,277
- Hey, that's a nice motor.
- It's American.
138
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,271
Nothing like it on Corfu.
139
00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:37,552
- Spiros Halikiopoulos.
- Lesley.
140
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,153
- Margo.
- Larry.
141
00:10:40,600 --> 00:10:43,637
- I'm Mrs Durrell.
- The mother.
142
00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:45,555
The most important person.
143
00:10:47,400 --> 00:10:48,515
I'll get your luggage.
144
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:51,035
- Where's Gerry?
- LOUISA: Gerry?
145
00:10:51,120 --> 00:10:54,829
- There's a lizard!
- LARRY: It's a tree with a lizard on it.
146
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:58,397
- How could that possibly be interesting?
- LOUISA: Gerry!
147
00:11:03,600 --> 00:11:06,558
- You's very pale.
- Yes, we plan to do a lot of sunbathing.
148
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,631
- No, we don't.
- It's the main reason we came here.
149
00:11:08,720 --> 00:11:10,199
No, it isn't.
150
00:11:10,560 --> 00:11:12,835
- How long you staying?
- Er, we don't know.
151
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:15,668
But, er, well, we don't have a house
to go back to, in England.
152
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,233
Honest to Gods, if I wasn't Greek,
I'd like to be English.
153
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,677
Oh, thank you.
154
00:11:29,760 --> 00:11:31,159
LOUISA: Oh, this must be it.
155
00:11:33,400 --> 00:11:35,994
No, you don't stay here. Too expensive.
156
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:39,152
Lots of empty houses on the island.
I'll find you one.
157
00:11:39,400 --> 00:11:40,879
Yes, good.
158
00:11:50,080 --> 00:11:51,513
(SPEAKING GREEK)
159
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:02,069
(MEN LAUGHING)
160
00:12:05,960 --> 00:12:07,837
Mrs Durrells! Come!
161
00:12:18,400 --> 00:12:21,756
Gerry! There's a zoo in the lavatory.
162
00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:25,309
(ROGER BARKS)
163
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:30,429
Wow!
164
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:33,070
I'm sleeping in the lavatory!
165
00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:47,149
I can't believe the Customs
let you through with those.
166
00:12:47,280 --> 00:12:50,829
I just think they know self-defence
is vital in today's unsure world.
167
00:12:52,960 --> 00:12:54,313
I think you should marry Spiros.
168
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:56,477
I don't want to marry again,
169
00:12:56,880 --> 00:12:59,075
- but he was wearing a wedding ring.
- Oh.
170
00:12:59,440 --> 00:13:01,795
And he had a photograph of his wife
and children on the dashboard.
171
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:04,470
I thought that was
the Greek royal family.
172
00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,672
Why would he have a photo of them?
173
00:13:07,320 --> 00:13:10,392
- Where's the...
- There's no electricity on Corfu.
174
00:13:10,480 --> 00:13:11,469
(LESLIE CHUCKLES)
175
00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:21,789
(SHRIEKS)
176
00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,439
(SPIROS SPEAKING GREEK)
177
00:13:27,400 --> 00:13:29,072
I get some more discounts, Mrs Durrells.
178
00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,199
(BIRDS CHIRPING)
179
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:50,275
Oh.
180
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,749
We really need to get some beds.
181
00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:53,829
(ROGER BARKS)
182
00:13:54,120 --> 00:13:57,237
Gerry! Gerry, wellingtons!
183
00:13:57,760 --> 00:13:59,273
- Why?
- For snakes.
184
00:13:59,880 --> 00:14:01,438
Here. Oh!
185
00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,314
- And this.
- What?
186
00:14:03,400 --> 00:14:05,755
- So you can be seen.
- Mum, I'm sure it's fine.
187
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:06,875
There we are!
188
00:14:06,960 --> 00:14:07,949
(GRUNTS)
189
00:14:09,760 --> 00:14:13,548
And, er... Don't do anything.
190
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:15,435
Bye.
191
00:14:16,040 --> 00:14:18,031
Bye, Mother, see you later.
192
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:19,878
Oh, Margo!
193
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,749
- Show me.
- What?
194
00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:25,873
You know what.
195
00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,512
Margo, this is not Bournemouth.
196
00:14:31,600 --> 00:14:33,352
I know, I presume that's why we're here.
197
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:35,431
The Greeks can be very conservative.
198
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:40,472
- In my day young ladies avoided the sun.
- Well in my day, which is now, we don't.
199
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,035
Book.
200
00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,709
Good girl, and don't just use it
as a pillow.
201
00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:54,515
(SIGHS)
202
00:14:54,600 --> 00:14:56,875
LARRY: Write. Starting now.
203
00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:59,029
At last.
204
00:14:59,120 --> 00:15:00,473
(TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING)
205
00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,831
Oh, Leslie, will you help me,
darling, with the...
206
00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,478
Afraid not, I'm too busy.
207
00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:23,869
(INDISTINCT ANIMAL SOUND)
208
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,189
Erm...
209
00:15:38,320 --> 00:15:39,514
(GERRY SPEAKS GREEK)
210
00:15:42,600 --> 00:15:43,669
(SPEAKS GREEK)
211
00:15:44,200 --> 00:15:46,555
That was excellent.
Do you have any more Greek?
212
00:15:46,800 --> 00:15:48,950
No. We've only been here one day.
213
00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:50,952
Oh, welcome.
214
00:15:51,720 --> 00:15:53,278
Have you seen one of those before?
215
00:15:54,560 --> 00:15:56,949
- No.
- The nest of an Egyptian vulture.
216
00:15:57,640 --> 00:15:59,995
Its party piece is breaking eggs
it wants to eat
217
00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,071
by throwing pebbles at them.
218
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,071
It's very rare for birds to use tools.
219
00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:07,238
Oh, sorry, you probably knew that.
220
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:08,835
No.
221
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:28,835
(SPEAKING GREEK)
222
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:29,909
(GASPS)
223
00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:33,594
(SPEAKING GREEK)
224
00:16:50,400 --> 00:16:51,799
THEO: Do you have kumquats in Hampshire?
225
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,749
I don't think so. It's mainly apples.
226
00:16:55,080 --> 00:16:56,069
(INHALES SHARPLY)
227
00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:58,232
And cabbage.
228
00:16:58,800 --> 00:17:00,552
Apples are not good in Corfu.
229
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:05,077
We're pretty sure in the Bible,
Eve was tempted by a kumquat.
230
00:17:06,240 --> 00:17:07,275
That's a tiny joke.
231
00:17:07,480 --> 00:17:08,469
Oh. (CHUCKLES)
232
00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,318
How are your creatures?
233
00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,438
I can't wait to show my family.
234
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,351
Your optimism is impressive.
235
00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:20,110
I find my interest in wildlife
236
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:23,112
is regarded by my friends
as a form of madness.
237
00:17:23,440 --> 00:17:24,429
(ROGER BARKING)
238
00:17:24,760 --> 00:17:25,749
(LAUGHS)
239
00:17:26,080 --> 00:17:29,914
Dogs jumping like kangaroos.
Always funny.
240
00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:31,269
(GUNSHOT)
241
00:17:33,720 --> 00:17:36,871
Good shots, Leslie.
Don't hit your mother.
242
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,069
(EXHALES)
243
00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:41,909
(GUNSHOT)
244
00:17:44,320 --> 00:17:46,436
Larry, come down here and help!
245
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,397
I can't, I'm working.
246
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:50,869
(TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING)
247
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:54,598
Ms Durrells, I bring you Lugaretzia.
248
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,877
Oh! Hello. Why?
249
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:01,874
You need help. Big family, house pretty,
but not so perfect.
250
00:18:02,080 --> 00:18:03,479
Yes, you spotted that.
251
00:18:03,560 --> 00:18:05,232
Well, thank you, Spiros,
but we can't afford any help.
252
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:06,999
Of course you can, you're English.
253
00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,799
Well, the English come in all kinds,
and we are the poor type.
254
00:18:10,560 --> 00:18:12,994
She's cheap. Part-time, almost free.
255
00:18:13,320 --> 00:18:16,232
Oh, God, I look like
some kind of a witch.
256
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,033
No, you don't. (CHUCKLES)
257
00:18:18,240 --> 00:18:21,118
- Where is Mr Durrells?
- Oh, he's dead. Selfishly.
258
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:27,392
So, it's just me now, shouldering the
burden, like a braying, sexless donkey.
259
00:18:27,560 --> 00:18:28,595
- (LOUISA SCOFFS)
- SPIROS: Oh.
260
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:32,275
She doesn't understand English, so you
can shout out bad things about her.
261
00:18:32,400 --> 00:18:35,551
I don't want to shout out bad things
about her. How cheap is she?
262
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,149
(SPEAKING GREEK)
263
00:18:48,400 --> 00:18:49,389
Shh.
264
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,399
Fifteen drachmas a day.
265
00:18:53,320 --> 00:18:54,309
Welcome.
266
00:18:56,040 --> 00:18:57,075
Er...
267
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:58,912
She is a little bit hypochondriac.
268
00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:00,309
Oh!
269
00:19:00,600 --> 00:19:01,749
Goodbye, Mrs Durrells.
270
00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:03,949
Oh!
271
00:19:07,520 --> 00:19:08,919
Oh, darling! What's the matter?
272
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,153
A man shouted at me.
273
00:19:11,560 --> 00:19:14,074
Oh, sweetheart...
274
00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:19,953
It's all right. It's just going to be
more different than I thought.
275
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,710
- Yes. Yes, me, too.
- (SNIFFLES)
276
00:19:33,880 --> 00:19:34,869
(FIRES)
277
00:19:41,680 --> 00:19:42,669
(SHRIEKS)
278
00:19:45,880 --> 00:19:48,348
LARRY: Don't be so feeble.
Go back and shout at him.
279
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:51,238
What, so he has an excuse
to throw me into the sea, or kill me?
280
00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:52,873
Oh, have some moral courage.
281
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,115
Stop it, you two.
282
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,351
When have you ever shown
any "moral courage", whatever that is?
283
00:19:57,440 --> 00:20:00,034
I show moral courage in my writing,
every day!
284
00:20:00,120 --> 00:20:02,156
What writing? Get a proper job!
285
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:03,992
You're an intellectual dwarf.
286
00:20:04,080 --> 00:20:05,274
Larry, that is cruel.
287
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:08,995
- At least I'm intellectual.
- Your intellect is dwarf-sized!
288
00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,229
For God's sake!
289
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,719
Yes, it's very nice, isn't it?
It was my mother's, actually.
290
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,399
That looks like a bullet hole.
291
00:20:15,720 --> 00:20:17,199
Leslie must have nearly shot her.
292
00:20:17,440 --> 00:20:19,112
(SPEAKING GREEK)
293
00:20:22,840 --> 00:20:24,398
Oh! She's not still going on
about that, is she?
294
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,631
No! Lugaretzia!
295
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:33,192
Lugaretzia! Come back!
296
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:34,349
(DOOR SLAMS SHUT)
297
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,958
Leslie, you could've killed her!
298
00:20:37,160 --> 00:20:40,755
It's an air gun. She could get a
flesh-wound at worst, or lose an eye.
299
00:20:40,840 --> 00:20:42,239
- "Or lose an eye"...
- You're so stupid!
300
00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,548
- You're an idiot!
- You are all just unbelievable.
301
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,036
I have been working
like a slave for you,
302
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:48,236
now I've lost my only bit of help,
303
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:49,753
and you just sit there...
304
00:20:50,120 --> 00:20:51,553
- I found...
- Gerry!
305
00:20:51,800 --> 00:20:52,789
(GERRY SCREAMS)
306
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:55,351
- Stop them!
- Get the mug! Get the mug!
307
00:20:55,440 --> 00:20:58,000
- Don't step on them!
- All right, let me shoot one of them.
308
00:20:58,120 --> 00:20:59,314
LARRY AND GERRY: Don't shoot them!
309
00:20:59,440 --> 00:21:02,432
Stop it! Stop it!
310
00:21:06,720 --> 00:21:08,039
Where did I go wrong?
311
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:13,236
(INHALES) How did you all
become so vile?
312
00:21:41,920 --> 00:21:43,239
LARRY: You know what her problem is?
313
00:21:43,920 --> 00:21:45,114
Don't you think we're the problem?
314
00:21:45,200 --> 00:21:46,519
- No.
- Don't be absurd.
315
00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,349
She needs a man.
316
00:21:48,600 --> 00:21:51,637
Don't you dare talk about Mother
like that! I look after her.
317
00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:55,072
Let me lend you a paper by Freud
called The Oedipus Complex.
318
00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:57,873
I expect that's really clever,
but nobody cares.
319
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,592
The body is built for sex.
320
00:21:59,680 --> 00:22:01,557
Gerry knows, he watched animals mating.
321
00:22:01,680 --> 00:22:03,352
You're obsessed with sex.
322
00:22:03,440 --> 00:22:05,112
At last, we agree on something.
323
00:22:05,640 --> 00:22:08,438
And since I'm not getting any,
at least we can help Mother.
324
00:22:08,560 --> 00:22:10,039
MARGO: All right, where
shall we start looking?
325
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:11,951
We can't just drag men in
off the street.
326
00:22:12,880 --> 00:22:13,915
(KNOCKING)
327
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,433
- Good afternoon.
- Theo!
328
00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:17,632
My name is Theo Stephanides.
329
00:22:18,160 --> 00:22:19,912
- Hello.
- Good afternoon.
330
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,356
Gerry kindly invited me for tea.
For your future discoveries.
331
00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:24,759
Thank you so much!
332
00:22:25,760 --> 00:22:27,955
- Tea? Yes.
- Shall I come back another day?
333
00:22:28,120 --> 00:22:29,519
- No, no, no. No.
- It's fine.
334
00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:31,839
- MARGO: Tea!
- Theo,
335
00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:34,519
are you single?
336
00:22:34,600 --> 00:22:35,953
Yes, yes I am.
337
00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:45,269
(MICE SQUEAKING)
338
00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:53,989
(GRUNTS)
339
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:00,594
Good luck. (SIGHS)
340
00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,836
We couldn't work out
how to heat the water.
341
00:23:05,160 --> 00:23:07,310
Oh, don't worry,
I can have tea any time.
342
00:23:08,040 --> 00:23:10,395
Figs with sardines,
that's breaking new ground.
343
00:23:12,360 --> 00:23:16,114
So, can I help unlock
any mysteries about Corfu?
344
00:23:16,440 --> 00:23:20,797
Can you explain why a monk shouted at me
like a lunatic as I was sunbathing?
345
00:23:20,960 --> 00:23:23,076
Maybe you were just lying in his space.
346
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,835
The Greeks used to spend
half their lives naked,
347
00:23:25,920 --> 00:23:27,069
so he has no excuse.
348
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:29,629
But that was the ancient Greeks.
And male nudity.
349
00:23:29,920 --> 00:23:33,310
Female bodies were more often
shown partially clothed.
350
00:23:33,760 --> 00:23:34,954
Hmm. Well, there you go, then.
351
00:23:35,040 --> 00:23:37,508
Become a man
or wear a coat over your bikini.
352
00:23:37,600 --> 00:23:38,589
- (LESLIE CHUCKLES)
- (CHUCKLES)
353
00:23:38,880 --> 00:23:44,238
There's one rule for men
and one for women, isn't there?
354
00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:47,951
- Have you only just noticed?
- I've been busy growing up.
355
00:23:48,760 --> 00:23:50,159
How long has this been going on?
356
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,199
Even Aristotle, who was no slouch,
placed women some way below men.
357
00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,152
Though, above slaves... Hurrah!
358
00:23:57,800 --> 00:23:59,233
Are there any more biscuits, Margo?
359
00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:01,399
Get them yourself!
360
00:24:03,480 --> 00:24:06,517
So, Theo, you are not married, yet.
361
00:24:08,120 --> 00:24:09,838
What do you look for in a woman?
362
00:24:10,600 --> 00:24:11,589
Oh! (CHUCKLES)
363
00:24:12,440 --> 00:24:16,194
Someone I can exchange ideas with,
discuss scientific advances,
364
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,551
and just sit quietly with.
365
00:24:18,800 --> 00:24:19,915
Oh.
366
00:24:21,640 --> 00:24:23,198
- Yeah, no, that won't work, then.
- No.
367
00:24:49,600 --> 00:24:52,478
Theo came for tea, well, not tea,
368
00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,915
but he gave me this,
which I've filled with dormice.
369
00:24:55,280 --> 00:24:56,633
Oh, Gerry.
370
00:24:59,720 --> 00:25:01,870
We told Leslie he can't
shoot near the house any more,
371
00:25:02,440 --> 00:25:05,113
'cause Larry can't write
and he might kill us,
372
00:25:05,360 --> 00:25:07,396
so he's going off
around the island tomorrow.
373
00:25:07,720 --> 00:25:08,755
Come on.
374
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,518
- Ooh, getting quite big, aren't you?
- Yes.
375
00:25:16,600 --> 00:25:18,477
- Shall I get off?
- No.
376
00:25:38,040 --> 00:25:40,634
You can get off now,
I can't feel my legs.
377
00:25:42,240 --> 00:25:43,229
Ooh!
378
00:25:51,240 --> 00:25:52,673
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)
379
00:26:05,840 --> 00:26:06,829
(SIGHS)
380
00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,033
Any recommendations?
381
00:26:31,000 --> 00:26:31,989
Hmm.
382
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:33,759
Avoid the food.
383
00:26:34,480 --> 00:26:35,549
Stick to the booze.
384
00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:36,749
(LAUGHS)
385
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:40,438
A fellow foreigner, huh? Hmm.
386
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:45,835
Yes, although I consider myself
a citizen of the world.
387
00:26:46,680 --> 00:26:48,113
You look like you've been around.
388
00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:49,269
Hmm. (CHUCKLES)
389
00:26:50,200 --> 00:26:51,428
Sailed the seven seas.
390
00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,074
- Do you have a favourite?
- Hated all of them.
391
00:26:56,440 --> 00:27:02,072
Treacherous, cold, wet,
generally devoid of women.
392
00:27:02,600 --> 00:27:03,589
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
393
00:27:10,920 --> 00:27:12,433
(MAN YELLING IN GREEK)
394
00:27:20,240 --> 00:27:22,549
I am dressed perfectly respectably,
395
00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,552
unlike ancient Greek men
from all accounts,
396
00:27:25,760 --> 00:27:27,637
and I'm entitled to be here.
397
00:27:45,880 --> 00:27:47,757
I think you should
take a break from sunbathing.
398
00:27:47,840 --> 00:27:50,718
- I'm not going to be put off.
- Because your face looks like a tomato.
399
00:27:55,200 --> 00:27:56,235
Oh.
400
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:57,309
LARRY: Exciting news.
401
00:27:57,800 --> 00:27:59,995
Why are you speaking quietly?
You never speak quietly.
402
00:28:01,160 --> 00:28:02,832
Because I don't want Mother to hear.
403
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:04,792
God, why is everyone so dim?
404
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:06,871
She's gone to the bank
to see if the money's arrived yet.
405
00:28:06,960 --> 00:28:09,997
Fortunately, we won't starve
because I've shot this beauty.
406
00:28:10,080 --> 00:28:12,196
She won't need her own money
if this works out.
407
00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,755
- I've found her a man.
- No! Who?
408
00:28:14,840 --> 00:28:16,512
Well, his name's Captain Creech.
409
00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:20,755
Cracking sense of humour, stories
to tell, doesn't beat about the bush,
410
00:28:21,520 --> 00:28:23,476
and, well, he must have a few quid.
411
00:28:23,640 --> 00:28:25,278
This will go horribly wrong, you know.
412
00:28:25,360 --> 00:28:26,713
How will you get them together?
413
00:28:27,280 --> 00:28:29,396
I might leave it a few weeks,
her monthly's coming up
414
00:28:29,480 --> 00:28:31,789
- and she'll be even more volatile...
- Stop saying these things!
415
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:33,035
You are such a...
416
00:28:33,120 --> 00:28:34,633
Money's arrived
from the sale of our furniture.
417
00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:36,159
It's not much, but, well,
418
00:28:36,240 --> 00:28:37,958
it might make us feel
a bit more like we belong.
419
00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:39,469
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
420
00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:45,709
(SPEAKING GREEK)
421
00:29:41,360 --> 00:29:42,349
(IMITATING BIRDS)
422
00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:52,073
How are you feeling, Mother?
423
00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:54,636
Well, happier.
424
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:57,908
Still livid
that you drove Lugaretzia away.
425
00:29:58,280 --> 00:30:01,352
And... Hormonally?
426
00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:03,590
Oh! Don't be ridiculous.
427
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,078
I'm bringing a pal over
for supper tonight.
428
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:08,353
- Your age, as it happens.
- Hmm.
429
00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:10,834
Our first guest!
430
00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:13,309
What shall I cook?
It'll have to be mainly figs.
431
00:30:13,800 --> 00:30:16,268
Right, I'm off for the day.
432
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,151
Did anyone notice anything
different about Leslie?
433
00:30:25,640 --> 00:30:26,789
I try not to look at him.
434
00:30:27,360 --> 00:30:29,874
- He's becoming very handsome.
- He really isn't.
435
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:31,759
He left without a gun.
436
00:30:33,240 --> 00:30:35,708
I've never seen him without a gun.
437
00:30:49,520 --> 00:30:50,919
(YELLING IN GREEK)
438
00:31:12,400 --> 00:31:13,389
(SNIFFS)
439
00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:22,197
God bless you.
440
00:31:26,240 --> 00:31:29,357
I didn't take a firearm this morning
because I'm over all that now.
441
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:31,035
Oh!
442
00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,792
Oh, I'm so glad, Leslie.
443
00:31:32,920 --> 00:31:34,831
I just like exploring the island,
444
00:31:34,920 --> 00:31:37,309
you know, with the dictionary,
talking to the locals.
445
00:31:37,440 --> 00:31:39,749
What's really going on?
Have you shot someone dead?
446
00:31:40,200 --> 00:31:42,111
Don't be silly, Margo.
447
00:31:42,640 --> 00:31:43,959
He's just growing up.
448
00:31:44,520 --> 00:31:47,990
Besides, it's the 1930s, darling,
people don't need guns any more.
449
00:31:48,160 --> 00:31:50,913
Mother, this is Captain Creech.
450
00:31:51,160 --> 00:31:52,912
He's been looking forward
to meeting you.
451
00:31:53,040 --> 00:31:56,032
(CHUCKLING) Well, Mrs Durrell.
452
00:31:57,560 --> 00:32:00,791
With a face like that,
you should be on the front of a ship.
453
00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:02,234
Oh, well, thank you.
454
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:08,031
A present for the house,
a bottle of the finest rum from Jamaica.
455
00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:12,197
Have you ever been to Jamaica?
456
00:32:12,640 --> 00:32:16,269
- Er, no, no, I haven't, I...
- First place I ever caught gonorrhoea.
457
00:32:16,400 --> 00:32:17,389
(LAUGHING LOUDLY)
458
00:32:21,400 --> 00:32:24,119
So, there we were,
459
00:32:24,200 --> 00:32:27,875
a dozen Uruguayan strumpets below deck,
460
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:31,999
in a ripping wind straight out of
the arsehole of the Earth.
461
00:32:32,240 --> 00:32:33,229
(LAUGHING)
462
00:32:35,080 --> 00:32:37,674
Aye. This is good tucker.
463
00:32:37,800 --> 00:32:38,835
Mmm.
464
00:32:38,920 --> 00:32:43,311
I like a girl who's, er,
handy in the galley.
465
00:32:44,080 --> 00:32:46,036
As well as in bed.
466
00:32:47,400 --> 00:32:49,675
- Where was I?
- Arsehole of the Earth.
467
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:52,234
- Ah! The...
- Yes, that's quite enough of that story.
468
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:54,709
Gerry, sing us a song,
anything you like.
469
00:32:54,880 --> 00:32:56,154
Where's your head?
470
00:32:56,240 --> 00:32:58,470
At the moment, it's pounding,
in fact, from...
471
00:32:58,560 --> 00:33:03,031
- It's nautical for...
- Crapper, dunny, thunder box?
472
00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:04,993
Think he means a lavatory.
473
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:06,798
Yes, yes, I know that.
474
00:33:07,080 --> 00:33:08,069
Now.
475
00:33:08,840 --> 00:33:09,955
It's around the back.
476
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:11,029
Excuse me.
477
00:33:13,600 --> 00:33:14,589
(FARTS)
478
00:33:14,960 --> 00:33:15,949
(CHUCKLES)
479
00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,155
(WHISPERING) What the hell
did you think you were doing,
480
00:33:20,240 --> 00:33:22,959
bringing that filthy old lecher
into our house?
481
00:33:23,280 --> 00:33:25,236
- He's a breath of fresh air.
- Oh...
482
00:33:25,680 --> 00:33:29,355
This is what happens when women
let men rule the roost.
483
00:33:39,520 --> 00:33:40,509
(CAPTAIN CREECH SNORES)
484
00:33:42,520 --> 00:33:43,555
Get up!
485
00:33:50,880 --> 00:33:51,995
- LESLIE: Bye.
- Oh, Leslie.
486
00:33:52,480 --> 00:33:53,754
What are you doing today?
487
00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:56,796
Just walk around, chat with locals.
488
00:33:56,880 --> 00:33:59,235
Ask for work
so I can help out with the money.
489
00:33:59,320 --> 00:34:00,309
Oh!
490
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:05,918
- He's lying.
- I know.
491
00:34:06,360 --> 00:34:08,191
I just thought I'd treat him
like an adult.
492
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:11,199
What were you treating him like
when you let him have half a dozen guns?
493
00:34:11,520 --> 00:34:13,351
I'm a mother, not a policeman.
494
00:34:13,760 --> 00:34:15,398
I thought it might lead to
some discipline,
495
00:34:15,480 --> 00:34:18,074
you know, make a man of him,
with Daddy not being there.
496
00:34:18,280 --> 00:34:19,952
You know, you'll discover
if you ever have children...
497
00:34:20,040 --> 00:34:22,235
I am listening,
I'm just going into the garden.
498
00:34:34,240 --> 00:34:36,117
Stupid boy, where are you?
499
00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:48,593
(SPEAKING GREEK)
500
00:34:59,200 --> 00:35:00,189
Ugh!
501
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:12,309
(GRUNTING)
502
00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:31,115
(YELLS)
503
00:35:31,200 --> 00:35:33,634
- Sodding, bloody...
- Larry, please.
504
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,268
I'm sure Virginia Woolf
doesn't swear like a trooper.
505
00:35:37,360 --> 00:35:40,079
Well, her brother didn't
remove the letter X from her typewriter.
506
00:35:40,240 --> 00:35:41,673
Well, why would Leslie do that?
507
00:35:42,600 --> 00:35:45,478
So I don't write the word "sex"
so much, apparently.
508
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,469
It's all right! I'll get him back.
509
00:35:54,800 --> 00:35:59,351
Did I mention that your arse
should be on the front of a ship?
510
00:35:59,600 --> 00:36:02,433
Don't start that again,
we had quite enough last night.
511
00:36:02,600 --> 00:36:05,160
Well, it's your fault, letting me drink.
512
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:11,112
Look below the surface, it's usually
the ladies that cause the problems.
513
00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:14,829
You know, I am astonished
that nobody has murdered you, yet.
514
00:36:15,120 --> 00:36:16,314
Now, please leave.
515
00:36:17,880 --> 00:36:20,189
After you've made me a spot of lunch.
516
00:36:20,960 --> 00:36:21,949
(TYPEWRITER KEYS CLACKING)
517
00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:27,754
Shut up! Use a bloody pencil!
518
00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:37,349
(CUTLERY CLATTERING)
519
00:36:41,080 --> 00:36:42,069
Oh!
520
00:36:42,520 --> 00:36:45,159
Lugaretzia, welcome back.
521
00:36:46,960 --> 00:36:48,632
It's been hell without you.
522
00:36:55,520 --> 00:36:56,919
Son of a bitch.
523
00:36:57,440 --> 00:36:59,715
Oh, I see Spiros has been teaching you.
524
00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:02,594
Though, in England we say, "Bastard".
525
00:37:03,080 --> 00:37:04,069
Huh.
526
00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,554
- Barsto.
- Bastard.
527
00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,719
- Barsto.
- Yeah.
528
00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:17,595
I love him, Mum.
529
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:20,031
Oh, Gerry, take it outside!
530
00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:25,590
Gerry, take him outside, now!
531
00:37:26,200 --> 00:37:28,555
- He'll escape.
- Well, not for a while, he won't.
532
00:37:29,240 --> 00:37:31,071
- Gerry! (SIGHS)
- There's so much to see!
533
00:37:45,880 --> 00:37:46,995
(IMITATING GUNSHOTS)
534
00:37:52,200 --> 00:37:53,792
Eat, then leave.
535
00:37:55,800 --> 00:37:58,268
I'm, er, sorry if I've disappointed you.
536
00:37:59,240 --> 00:38:02,915
I've spent too much time
in the company of uncouth men.
537
00:38:04,320 --> 00:38:07,756
Oh, well... Thank you.
538
00:38:08,160 --> 00:38:09,513
I'm sorry, I don't...
(YELLS)
539
00:38:12,160 --> 00:38:13,149
(GASPING)
540
00:38:13,400 --> 00:38:14,913
Get out!
541
00:38:16,240 --> 00:38:19,198
Fine, I'll just finish my lunch.
542
00:38:24,880 --> 00:38:25,869
(DOOR CLOSES)
543
00:38:28,760 --> 00:38:32,355
Now, you leave, or I'll shoot you.
544
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:34,155
No, you won't.
545
00:38:34,880 --> 00:38:35,869
(GUNSHOT)
546
00:38:39,960 --> 00:38:43,350
You are in great need of a slap!
547
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:51,314
So, it's okay for you to shoot
and nearly kill someone...
548
00:38:51,400 --> 00:38:53,436
- Yes, yes it is.
- Give me that.
549
00:38:53,520 --> 00:38:57,195
- Leslie, we told you, no more shooting.
- Wasn't me.
550
00:38:57,280 --> 00:38:59,714
That is the last time
you try to find me a husband.
551
00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:01,598
- Is that clear?
- Are you sure?
552
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,477
I met a fascinating Turk
in a bar in town...
553
00:39:03,600 --> 00:39:05,670
How did you think
that I would fall for...
554
00:39:05,760 --> 00:39:07,637
Popeye the bloody Sailor Man?
555
00:39:08,120 --> 00:39:09,599
And he's not "my age"!
556
00:39:10,280 --> 00:39:12,635
- We think the sex will calm you down.
- God.
557
00:39:13,360 --> 00:39:15,191
Your father was the love of my life.
558
00:39:15,280 --> 00:39:18,397
And I don't want, or need,
a pale imitation of him.
559
00:39:19,240 --> 00:39:20,639
Well, I find that rather sad.
560
00:39:22,160 --> 00:39:25,869
You may have given up, but we haven't.
561
00:39:39,840 --> 00:39:40,829
(PELICAN SQUAWKS)
562
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:10,829
LOUISA: Ooh!
563
00:40:13,920 --> 00:40:17,549
- Where've you been?
- I was following Leslie and I got lost.
564
00:40:17,640 --> 00:40:20,871
I tried to ask the way home
but nobody's bothered to learn English.
565
00:40:21,600 --> 00:40:26,196
Anyway, Leslie's lost his interest in
guns because he's got a girlfriend.
566
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:28,195
A what?
567
00:40:28,360 --> 00:40:31,397
I found him with a local girl,
kissing, and worse.
568
00:40:32,200 --> 00:40:33,189
Oh!
569
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:37,309
Well, maybe it was a good idea
to come out here, after all.
570
00:40:37,960 --> 00:40:41,669
I mention wanting a boyfriend and you
call me empty-headed and sex-mad,
571
00:40:41,800 --> 00:40:43,916
but Leslie finds someone
and he's a hero.
572
00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:47,755
Firstly Margo, I am thrilled
that you are thinking for yourself
573
00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,751
- and highlighting double standards.
- Thank you.
574
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:54,516
And secondly, don't you dare
be so bloody rude to your mother.
575
00:40:54,880 --> 00:40:56,711
Good, I'll find myself a man, then.
576
00:40:57,480 --> 00:40:58,469
(SIGHS)
577
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:02,913
Hello Luga. Glad you're back.
578
00:41:03,080 --> 00:41:05,913
- This short story is genius.
- Oh!
579
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:07,549
- Who wrote it?
- Me.
580
00:41:17,200 --> 00:41:18,189
(HORN HONKING)
581
00:41:19,560 --> 00:41:21,835
- Look who I find walking home.
- Mum!
582
00:41:22,960 --> 00:41:26,589
Gerry, you have a spider, two dormice,
a tortoise and a family,
583
00:41:26,680 --> 00:41:28,477
you do not need a pelican.
584
00:41:28,720 --> 00:41:30,631
- Let it go.
- I will after I've studied it.
585
00:41:32,320 --> 00:41:33,309
(LAUGHS)
586
00:41:34,920 --> 00:41:36,148
It's not funny, Spiros.
587
00:41:36,680 --> 00:41:37,829
No, of course not.
588
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:41,274
Come on, Gerry! We'll make a zoo cage!
589
00:41:43,640 --> 00:41:44,629
(KNOCK ON THE DOOR)
590
00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,312
Larry, we need to talk about
your writing.
591
00:41:48,920 --> 00:41:50,831
We'll deal with you
being a Peeping Tom later.
592
00:41:51,200 --> 00:41:53,111
Sorry you don't like it,
but I refuse to let...
593
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:54,394
No, it's brilliant.
594
00:41:56,400 --> 00:41:58,038
But why is the mother so horrible?
595
00:41:59,280 --> 00:42:02,909
- Everything isn't about you.
- Oh, nothing is about me.
596
00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:03,989
(SCOFFS)
597
00:42:04,080 --> 00:42:06,958
My life is devoured by my children.
598
00:42:07,040 --> 00:42:12,672
In 21 years, I haven't thought about
myself for five consecutive minutes.
599
00:42:14,480 --> 00:42:15,515
But it's good, isn't it?
600
00:42:16,240 --> 00:42:20,358
- Did you like the ending?
- Yes, Larry, it's very good.
601
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:23,953
- You're going to make us very proud.
- In this family?
602
00:42:26,040 --> 00:42:30,636
You're going to make us mildly pleased
in a complicated way.
603
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:34,989
Come and look at this.
604
00:42:39,720 --> 00:42:41,517
The rocks. Just by the chapel.
605
00:42:41,880 --> 00:42:42,869
Oh.
606
00:42:43,960 --> 00:42:44,949
(CHUCKLES SOFTLY)
607
00:42:45,720 --> 00:42:46,994
That's my girl.
608
00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:51,554
Hello? Mrs Durrell.
609
00:42:52,640 --> 00:42:54,232
Theodore Stephanides.
610
00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:55,799
Delighted to finally meet you.
611
00:43:06,880 --> 00:43:09,872
I suspect you need a cross-piece there.
612
00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:15,595
Here, I believe it's called a purlin...
613
00:43:16,040 --> 00:43:19,794
So, Leslie,
what's your new girlfriend's name?
614
00:43:20,920 --> 00:43:21,909
How do you know about her?
615
00:43:22,000 --> 00:43:24,150
Oh, I know everything, darling,
I'm your mother.
616
00:43:25,680 --> 00:43:27,671
- She's called Alexia.
- Mmm-hmm.
617
00:43:27,960 --> 00:43:29,473
It's the loveliest name.
618
00:43:30,040 --> 00:43:33,828
And if you ever want to type it,
you'll have to give Larry his X back.
619
00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,872
(SPEAKING GREEK)
620
00:43:42,680 --> 00:43:44,511
SPIROS: (LAUGHING) Leslie!
621
00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:50,398
Why are you so good to us, Spiros?
622
00:43:50,600 --> 00:43:52,716
We have no money, we argue all the time.
623
00:43:53,360 --> 00:43:54,998
We have a word, filoxenia.
624
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,839
- It means, "Love to strangers".
- That is so sweet.
625
00:44:00,280 --> 00:44:01,793
And, it's clear you need help.
626
00:44:02,280 --> 00:44:03,315
(LARRY YELLS)
627
00:44:03,400 --> 00:44:04,719
Sodding, bloody...
628
00:44:08,880 --> 00:44:11,189
LESLIE: Lugaretzia,
how do you say this in Greek?
629
00:44:30,680 --> 00:44:35,151
That is my revenge on you, Leslie.
An X for an X.
630
00:44:35,880 --> 00:44:36,869
(SMACKS)
631
00:44:38,440 --> 00:44:39,919
I just made them look less violent!
632
00:44:40,440 --> 00:44:41,429
MAX: Does anyone live here?
633
00:44:43,200 --> 00:44:44,189
Oh!
634
00:44:47,200 --> 00:44:48,235
Somebody died?
635
00:44:53,240 --> 00:44:54,673
My friends, Donald and Max.
636
00:44:56,680 --> 00:44:57,829
I invited them over.
637
00:44:58,080 --> 00:44:59,115
Oh...
638
00:44:59,200 --> 00:45:00,918
Gosh, who's this?
639
00:45:07,800 --> 00:45:08,789
(SIGHS)
640
00:45:10,500 --> 00:45:18,500
Ripped By mstoll