1 00:00:02,120 --> 00:00:04,129 Adult Adam: In the '80s, gym class was not 2 00:00:04,130 --> 00:00:05,189 the politically correct, 3 00:00:05,190 --> 00:00:06,937 supportive environment we know today. 4 00:00:06,945 --> 00:00:09,089 [Blowing whistles] To say the least, it was humiliating. 5 00:00:09,114 --> 00:00:11,083 Using these state-sanctioned calipers, 6 00:00:11,084 --> 00:00:13,103 I will rank you by weight and girth. 7 00:00:13,104 --> 00:00:14,468 Let's grab that flab. 8 00:00:14,484 --> 00:00:16,544 And it wasn't just our awkward bodies being judged. 9 00:00:16,545 --> 00:00:18,464 It was also our athletic skill... 10 00:00:18,465 --> 00:00:19,605 Or lack thereof. 11 00:00:19,630 --> 00:00:22,328 Aha! Didn't make it to the wall in time. 12 00:00:22,353 --> 00:00:24,023 Assume the position. 13 00:00:24,047 --> 00:00:25,156 They don't call it "Butts Up" for nothing. 14 00:00:25,157 --> 00:00:27,171 [Blows whistle] 15 00:00:27,172 --> 00:00:29,052 How is this a sport? 16 00:00:29,077 --> 00:00:30,882 But the greatest indignity of all... 17 00:00:30,907 --> 00:00:33,092 The sadistic ritual of picking teams. 18 00:00:33,117 --> 00:00:33,976 Sposato. 19 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,112 In a public shaming, 20 00:00:35,137 --> 00:00:37,116 the strong were separated from the weak. 21 00:00:37,117 --> 00:00:39,225 My friends and I were always chosen last 22 00:00:39,250 --> 00:00:40,187 for obvious reasons. 23 00:00:40,188 --> 00:00:41,264 I'll take Sirota. 24 00:00:41,289 --> 00:00:42,750 Sweet! 25 00:00:42,775 --> 00:00:44,046 The kid picked third-to-last 26 00:00:44,047 --> 00:00:45,226 was known as the "I don't know." 27 00:00:45,227 --> 00:00:47,166 I don't know. Dave Kim. 28 00:00:47,167 --> 00:00:48,906 Yes! I'm not the worst! 29 00:00:48,931 --> 00:00:51,132 Second-to-last was the "I guess". 30 00:00:51,157 --> 00:00:52,137 Goldberg, I guess. 31 00:00:52,138 --> 00:00:53,350 A fine choice. 32 00:00:53,351 --> 00:00:55,734 The only thing worse than being picked last were the games, 33 00:00:55,759 --> 00:00:57,197 where the athletic ruled 34 00:00:57,222 --> 00:00:58,835 and the scrubs desperately wished to go 35 00:00:58,860 --> 00:00:59,882 under the radar. 36 00:00:59,907 --> 00:01:00,968 Don't pass to me! Don't pass to me! 37 00:01:00,993 --> 00:01:01,993 Don't pass to me! 38 00:01:04,227 --> 00:01:06,484 [Gasping] What? 39 00:01:06,531 --> 00:01:08,550 Goldberg, you're the worst. 40 00:01:08,575 --> 00:01:09,883 I welcome the feedback. 41 00:01:09,891 --> 00:01:11,406 - [Regal medieval music plays] - But luckily, for kids like me, 42 00:01:11,445 --> 00:01:14,350 there was another world where we were champions... 43 00:01:14,375 --> 00:01:16,354 Dungeons and Dragons. 44 00:01:16,355 --> 00:01:18,953 Long before Xbox, there was a role-playing game 45 00:01:19,008 --> 00:01:21,225 with 20-sided dice and a Dungeon Master 46 00:01:21,250 --> 00:01:23,261 who led you on adventures using books 47 00:01:23,286 --> 00:01:25,437 filled with monsters and treasure. 48 00:01:25,462 --> 00:01:28,060 The firenewt is coming for you, Gribald the Unreasonable. 49 00:01:28,085 --> 00:01:29,976 I use my potion of fire resistance. 50 00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:30,742 [Dice thuds] 51 00:01:30,828 --> 00:01:31,906 - It works. - Yes! 52 00:01:31,923 --> 00:01:34,656 Oh, no. Not this game. 53 00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:36,752 I heard all about it on "60 Minutes". 54 00:01:36,753 --> 00:01:39,890 A stuffy Southern reverend said it's the gateway to black magic. 55 00:01:39,915 --> 00:01:41,453 Don't worry, guys. I got this. 56 00:01:42,352 --> 00:01:44,321 Okay, mama, I won't play the thing 57 00:01:44,322 --> 00:01:45,431 that makes my heart happy. 58 00:01:45,432 --> 00:01:48,471 You bewitched me, you little devil. 59 00:01:48,472 --> 00:01:49,828 [Smooching] 60 00:01:49,836 --> 00:01:51,123 Look away. I'm doing this for us. 61 00:01:51,148 --> 00:01:53,047 Dungeons and Snuggles! 62 00:01:53,048 --> 00:01:54,107 Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. 63 00:01:54,108 --> 00:01:57,057 I'm a little devil, and I like kisses. 64 00:01:57,058 --> 00:01:58,890 ♪ I'm twisted up inside ♪ 65 00:01:58,882 --> 00:02:02,710 ♪ But nonetheless, I feel the need to say ♪ 66 00:02:02,734 --> 00:02:04,896 Synced and corrected by Nest0r www.addic7ed.com 67 00:02:04,921 --> 00:02:06,055 ♪ I don't know the future ♪ 68 00:02:06,056 --> 00:02:09,915 ♪ But the past keeps getting clearer every day ♪ 69 00:02:09,916 --> 00:02:12,015 It was April 6, 1980-something, 70 00:02:12,016 --> 00:02:13,811 and my sister's plan for her future 71 00:02:13,812 --> 00:02:16,226 was about to rock our mother to her very core. 72 00:02:16,251 --> 00:02:18,515 Mom, insanely great news. 73 00:02:18,641 --> 00:02:21,241 I'm gonna do what you want and stay in state for college. 74 00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:24,245 In state? That's where I live. 75 00:02:24,222 --> 00:02:25,078 [Chuckles] 76 00:02:25,103 --> 00:02:26,261 Yes. Good. 77 00:02:26,286 --> 00:02:27,335 CMU it is. 78 00:02:27,336 --> 00:02:29,584 Where in Philadelphia is CMU? 79 00:02:29,609 --> 00:02:33,366 Um, Carnegie Mellon's only like a little bit west. 80 00:02:33,391 --> 00:02:35,194 How far west? 81 00:02:35,219 --> 00:02:35,773 Pittsburgh. 82 00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:38,139 Pittsburgh?! No. Too far. 83 00:02:38,164 --> 00:02:39,811 You're the worst daughter in the world. 84 00:02:39,836 --> 00:02:40,679 Come on, Mom. 85 00:02:40,695 --> 00:02:42,733 It's a great school with an amazing music program. 86 00:02:42,758 --> 00:02:44,827 No, you're gonna go to JFA right here in town. 87 00:02:44,852 --> 00:02:46,445 We discussed this. 88 00:02:46,470 --> 00:02:48,920 I am not going to the Jenkintown Funk Academy. 89 00:02:48,945 --> 00:02:50,974 Oh, so now you're too good for the Funk. Huh. 90 00:02:50,975 --> 00:02:53,366 Yes, the Funk is in a mini-mall 91 00:02:53,391 --> 00:02:55,520 between a dry cleaner and a balloon shop. 92 00:02:55,521 --> 00:02:57,218 [Scoffs] Come on, Mom. 93 00:02:57,243 --> 00:03:00,192 Even Mr. Glascott said CMU is perfect for me. 94 00:03:00,217 --> 00:03:01,430 At least hear him out. 95 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,976 And then undermine and overpower him. 96 00:03:04,001 --> 00:03:05,981 Okay. Sure thing. Set that meeting. 97 00:03:07,148 --> 00:03:08,593 Dad, you need to come with us. 98 00:03:08,618 --> 00:03:10,561 Mom is in full sabotage mode. 99 00:03:10,586 --> 00:03:11,750 This is my dream. 100 00:03:11,766 --> 00:03:14,686 And it's my dream to have one less moron living in this house. 101 00:03:14,687 --> 00:03:15,992 - I'll help you. - Aww. 102 00:03:16,008 --> 00:03:17,008 I'll go, too. 103 00:03:17,009 --> 00:03:19,530 College is a nonstop party. 104 00:03:19,555 --> 00:03:21,474 You never even went to college, Al. 105 00:03:21,475 --> 00:03:23,574 Yes, but I just watched "Back to School" 106 00:03:23,575 --> 00:03:24,953 with Rodney Dangerfield. 107 00:03:24,984 --> 00:03:27,155 It's about this delightful old scamp 108 00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:29,209 who goes back to school, and it's hilarious, 109 00:03:29,210 --> 00:03:30,249 'cause let's face it... 110 00:03:30,250 --> 00:03:33,062 A guy that old doesn't go back to school. 111 00:03:33,087 --> 00:03:34,256 But he does. 112 00:03:34,310 --> 00:03:37,109 He goes back to school but good. 113 00:03:37,110 --> 00:03:37,984 Are you done? 114 00:03:38,009 --> 00:03:38,992 I don't have to be. 115 00:03:39,008 --> 00:03:40,725 While Erica and my dad were struggling 116 00:03:40,750 --> 00:03:42,015 to get my mom on board, 117 00:03:42,031 --> 00:03:44,890 my friends were fighting their way through enemy territory. 118 00:03:44,891 --> 00:03:45,950 As you climb out of the pit, 119 00:03:45,951 --> 00:03:48,366 a band of marauding orcs awaits you. 120 00:03:48,391 --> 00:03:50,330 Mondragor, your move. 121 00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,300 Earth to Mondragor. 122 00:03:52,301 --> 00:03:54,828 Sorry, guys. I can't stop thinking about gym class. 123 00:03:54,853 --> 00:03:56,157 We've been picked last for years. 124 00:03:56,182 --> 00:03:58,172 - It's bull crap. - Relax, dude. 125 00:03:58,173 --> 00:04:00,396 The athletes rule now, but once we hit high school, 126 00:04:00,421 --> 00:04:02,171 our brains and elegance will be valued. 127 00:04:02,196 --> 00:04:02,772 Really? 128 00:04:02,797 --> 00:04:04,092 For sure. 129 00:04:04,117 --> 00:04:06,076 Until then, back to the orc attack. 130 00:04:06,077 --> 00:04:08,373 More like dork attack! Nice. 131 00:04:08,398 --> 00:04:09,265 Oh, God. 132 00:04:09,305 --> 00:04:11,096 Face the facts, Un-Kool and the Gang, 133 00:04:11,121 --> 00:04:12,078 you guys are doomed. 134 00:04:12,103 --> 00:04:13,507 When did you even sit down? 135 00:04:13,531 --> 00:04:15,600 My point is, you guys got to figure out a way 136 00:04:15,601 --> 00:04:17,897 to not get picked last before you're in high school. 137 00:04:17,922 --> 00:04:19,554 Otherwise, you'll never date, 138 00:04:19,570 --> 00:04:21,539 you'll never love, you'll never have joy. 139 00:04:21,540 --> 00:04:22,629 Later. 140 00:04:22,630 --> 00:04:25,031 What if your mean-spirited brother's right? 141 00:04:25,086 --> 00:04:27,476 I can't be bottom of the social chain in high school. 142 00:04:27,484 --> 00:04:29,513 And just because I'm the coolest one in our group 143 00:04:29,514 --> 00:04:31,523 doesn't mean anything in the outside world. 144 00:04:31,524 --> 00:04:32,952 Okay, that settles it. 145 00:04:32,977 --> 00:04:35,140 We're gonna break the cycle of dorkdom. 146 00:04:35,148 --> 00:04:37,000 - But how? - I'll tell ya how! 147 00:04:37,070 --> 00:04:39,159 Tomorrow, I shall storm Mellor's office 148 00:04:39,160 --> 00:04:41,663 and demand an end to our oppression! 149 00:04:41,688 --> 00:04:42,688 - Huzzah! - Huzzah! 150 00:04:42,713 --> 00:04:43,560 - Huzzah! - Huzzah! 151 00:04:43,561 --> 00:04:44,210 No! 152 00:04:44,234 --> 00:04:45,257 Come on. Please. 153 00:04:45,281 --> 00:04:46,522 Picking teams has been the same 154 00:04:46,547 --> 00:04:48,952 since the dawn of physical education. 155 00:04:48,977 --> 00:04:51,272 The awesome jocks choose kids in descending order 156 00:04:51,297 --> 00:04:52,316 of athletic ability. 157 00:04:52,317 --> 00:04:53,304 What is the problem? 158 00:04:53,313 --> 00:04:55,362 The problem is the rest of us suffer. 159 00:04:55,362 --> 00:04:57,401 Turns out, gym class will determine 160 00:04:57,402 --> 00:05:00,022 how society views us for the rest of our lives. 161 00:05:00,047 --> 00:05:02,679 People... really think that? 162 00:05:02,695 --> 00:05:03,695 Of course. 163 00:05:03,696 --> 00:05:04,281 Don't you realize 164 00:05:04,320 --> 00:05:06,741 gym is the most important class there is? 165 00:05:06,766 --> 00:05:08,328 Well, I know that. 166 00:05:08,352 --> 00:05:10,341 It's just, when the English department 167 00:05:10,341 --> 00:05:12,584 doesn't invite you out for bowling night, 168 00:05:12,609 --> 00:05:14,330 it... really gets in your head. 169 00:05:14,331 --> 00:05:16,007 You hold the power, Coach. 170 00:05:16,032 --> 00:05:17,734 Whatever you choose here today 171 00:05:17,759 --> 00:05:20,366 could change the course of our whole lives. 172 00:05:20,391 --> 00:05:21,391 [Blows whistle] 173 00:05:21,392 --> 00:05:22,781 Let's do it. 174 00:05:22,883 --> 00:05:24,832 Tomorrow, you'll be the team captain, 175 00:05:24,833 --> 00:05:26,842 and you can choose all your nerd friends first. 176 00:05:26,843 --> 00:05:27,687 Sounds great, 177 00:05:27,712 --> 00:05:28,992 except for the part where you called us nerds. 178 00:05:28,993 --> 00:05:30,695 Losers it is, then! 179 00:05:30,720 --> 00:05:32,992 Tomorrow, the hierarchy of the physical-education world 180 00:05:32,993 --> 00:05:34,972 will be turned upside down, 181 00:05:34,973 --> 00:05:39,242 and all you dregs, dipwads, and dweebs, rejoice! 182 00:05:39,266 --> 00:05:40,435 I had won over Coach Mellor, 183 00:05:40,435 --> 00:05:43,454 but my mom was hoping to sway Mr. Glascott to her team. 184 00:05:43,455 --> 00:05:46,725 Have to admit, I love it when an entire family comes together 185 00:05:46,750 --> 00:05:49,171 to discuss a young lady's journey to college. 186 00:05:49,227 --> 00:05:51,216 So any first thoughts? 187 00:05:51,217 --> 00:05:53,326 Yes, uh [bleep] that [bleep]. 188 00:05:53,327 --> 00:05:55,164 Okay, hot out of the gate. 189 00:05:55,189 --> 00:05:57,306 So you came to voice some concerns. 190 00:05:57,307 --> 00:05:59,276 I hope you're here to keep this conversation civil. 191 00:05:59,277 --> 00:06:00,326 I'll do what I can. 192 00:06:00,327 --> 00:06:01,346 Gotcha. 193 00:06:01,347 --> 00:06:02,396 Uh, I'm still not sure 194 00:06:02,397 --> 00:06:04,468 what the gentleman in the corner is doing here. 195 00:06:04,493 --> 00:06:07,163 I'm considering going back to school myself. 196 00:06:07,188 --> 00:06:09,177 Ignore him. He saw a movie. 197 00:06:09,178 --> 00:06:10,757 Can we talk about CMU now? 198 00:06:10,789 --> 00:06:13,858 Look, I know it's scary sending your baby out into the world, 199 00:06:13,859 --> 00:06:17,140 but this college can turn your little girl into a leader. 200 00:06:17,172 --> 00:06:20,459 And in that moment, my mom saw more than just a brochure. 201 00:06:20,484 --> 00:06:24,483 She saw the chance to make all of Erica's dreams come true... 202 00:06:24,484 --> 00:06:28,780 It, uh... does look a bit nicer than the Funk Academy. 203 00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,406 While my dad saw the reality 204 00:06:30,422 --> 00:06:31,795 of a world without his princess. 205 00:06:31,820 --> 00:06:33,078 Who are these guys? 206 00:06:33,103 --> 00:06:34,538 Who are these guys? 207 00:06:34,563 --> 00:06:35,534 Who are those guys? 208 00:06:35,559 --> 00:06:37,203 And Pops just felt ripped off. 209 00:06:37,234 --> 00:06:39,373 I don't see any hot tubs in the dorms. 210 00:06:39,398 --> 00:06:41,407 Are there hot tubs in the dorms? 211 00:06:41,408 --> 00:06:44,101 Look! You can study abroad. I could go to Paris! 212 00:06:44,126 --> 00:06:45,648 I've always wanted to go to Paris. 213 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,984 Wait a minute. Now she's going to a whole other country? 214 00:06:48,009 --> 00:06:53,234 Erica, I... didn't realize how wrong I'd been. 215 00:06:53,281 --> 00:06:55,679 I want this for you, sweetie... All of it. 216 00:06:55,704 --> 00:06:57,693 Oh, my God. Thank you so much. 217 00:06:57,718 --> 00:06:58,968 Let's go sign up for a tour. 218 00:06:58,993 --> 00:06:59,968 [Sighs] 219 00:06:59,993 --> 00:07:02,046 Well, looks like my work here is over. 220 00:07:02,071 --> 00:07:03,828 It is over, 'cause there's no way 221 00:07:03,853 --> 00:07:06,320 I'm letting my pumpkin go to this hellhole. 222 00:07:06,345 --> 00:07:07,936 But look at the girl in the pamphlet. 223 00:07:07,961 --> 00:07:11,248 She's smiling under a tree with the boy in the wheelchair. 224 00:07:11,273 --> 00:07:13,292 Aww, look at him. He's holding a book. 225 00:07:13,317 --> 00:07:14,867 Okay, compromise. 226 00:07:14,929 --> 00:07:17,581 The moron boys can get the hell out, 227 00:07:17,606 --> 00:07:20,320 but my little peanut, she's going to school in Philadelphia. 228 00:07:20,352 --> 00:07:21,226 I get it. 229 00:07:21,251 --> 00:07:23,379 I got a bird. She's my princess. 230 00:07:23,482 --> 00:07:26,252 If she flew away, I don't know what I would do. 231 00:07:26,797 --> 00:07:28,429 Wait. Where are you going? 232 00:07:28,969 --> 00:07:30,453 What's with the getup? 233 00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:32,503 Is there, like, a sports musical you're starring in? 234 00:07:32,504 --> 00:07:33,889 Little production called gym class, 235 00:07:33,914 --> 00:07:36,210 and Coach Mellor's letting me be the leading man. 236 00:07:36,219 --> 00:07:38,092 He made you captain? 237 00:07:38,117 --> 00:07:39,592 This is a game changer. 238 00:07:39,617 --> 00:07:40,717 You got to pick smart. 239 00:07:40,742 --> 00:07:41,437 For sure. 240 00:07:41,453 --> 00:07:43,959 First my boy Sirota, then Dave Kim, Tiny Tyler, 241 00:07:43,984 --> 00:07:45,935 Lanky Hank, and the foreign-exchange kid 242 00:07:45,960 --> 00:07:47,218 who knows nothing of our customs. 243 00:07:47,243 --> 00:07:48,054 No! 244 00:07:48,070 --> 00:07:50,866 This is the only time you'll ever be captain. 245 00:07:50,891 --> 00:07:52,500 You can't pick the wienies. 246 00:07:52,523 --> 00:07:55,421 You got to pick the winners, earn their respect. 247 00:07:55,446 --> 00:07:57,485 This is a defining moment for you, bro. 248 00:07:57,802 --> 00:07:59,811 Barry made a convincing argument, 249 00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,429 but there was no way I'd pick the athletes 250 00:08:01,454 --> 00:08:02,367 over my best friends... 251 00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,811 I'll take Corbett, Big Luke Schmidt, Spink, 252 00:08:04,836 --> 00:08:05,421 and Taz Money. 253 00:08:05,477 --> 00:08:06,937 But I found a way. 254 00:08:07,141 --> 00:08:09,230 Dude, what the hell did you just do to us? 255 00:08:09,231 --> 00:08:10,843 Don't worry. 256 00:08:10,875 --> 00:08:12,904 Good news is, I'm climbing the social ladder 257 00:08:12,905 --> 00:08:14,695 by stepping on you guys. 258 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,601 It'll take a while, and I'll have to be 259 00:08:16,626 --> 00:08:18,553 mean to you at first... Super-mean... 260 00:08:18,578 --> 00:08:20,498 But one day, we'll all be cool. 261 00:08:20,523 --> 00:08:21,335 Me first, though. 262 00:08:21,344 --> 00:08:22,952 I don't like your plan at all. 263 00:08:22,977 --> 00:08:25,687 Oh, please, Dave Kim, you'd do the exact same thing. 264 00:08:25,712 --> 00:08:26,492 No way. 265 00:08:26,563 --> 00:08:27,592 My allegiance would always be 266 00:08:27,617 --> 00:08:29,951 to my friends and Sergei the exchange student. 267 00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:30,646 Ja! 268 00:08:30,647 --> 00:08:32,526 This betrayal will not stand. 269 00:08:32,527 --> 00:08:33,795 Much like "Revenge of the Nerds", 270 00:08:33,820 --> 00:08:35,706 we will dig deep and use our brains to defeat you 271 00:08:35,707 --> 00:08:37,109 once and for all. 272 00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:38,498 All: Yeah! Yeah! 273 00:08:38,523 --> 00:08:40,107 But there would be no revenge. 274 00:08:40,132 --> 00:08:42,045 ♪ Basketball is my favorite sport ♪ 275 00:08:42,070 --> 00:08:44,079 ♪ I like the way they dribble up and down the court ♪ 276 00:08:44,081 --> 00:08:46,398 [Grunts] ♪ Just like I was a king on the microphone ♪ 277 00:08:46,406 --> 00:08:48,525 ♪ So was Dr. J and Moses Malone ♪ 278 00:08:48,526 --> 00:08:51,345 ♪ I like slam dunks and taking it to the hoop ♪ 279 00:08:51,346 --> 00:08:53,395 ♪ My favorite play still is the alley-oop ♪ 280 00:08:53,396 --> 00:08:54,525 ♪ I like the pick-and-roll, I like the give-and-go ♪ 281 00:08:54,526 --> 00:08:56,525 [Chuckles] Nice assist, Goldie. 282 00:08:56,526 --> 00:08:59,276 All you, Taz Money. 283 00:08:59,301 --> 00:09:01,445 Yes. Well done, Adam the Betrayer. 284 00:09:01,484 --> 00:09:03,395 Come on, Dave Kim. I'll make it up to you. 285 00:09:03,420 --> 00:09:04,742 - Switch teams. - That's a no. 286 00:09:04,781 --> 00:09:05,900 After picking the best players, 287 00:09:05,902 --> 00:09:07,941 I was finally crushing at gym class. 288 00:09:07,942 --> 00:09:10,147 - [Whistle blows] - Also crushed my friends spirits. 289 00:09:10,172 --> 00:09:13,734 Enough! This game has made a mockery of physical education. 290 00:09:13,750 --> 00:09:16,649 Now, I'm not gonna name names, but there's a young man in here 291 00:09:16,650 --> 00:09:19,319 with big ideas and small conviction. 292 00:09:19,344 --> 00:09:21,213 Adam. Is Adam. 293 00:09:21,214 --> 00:09:22,367 That's right, foreign kid. 294 00:09:22,383 --> 00:09:24,584 Coach was sold a bill of goods on how to make this class fair, 295 00:09:24,609 --> 00:09:27,518 and he will deliver on that promise. 296 00:09:27,519 --> 00:09:29,983 So, next class, we'll have the same teams, 297 00:09:30,008 --> 00:09:32,452 but, Dave Kim, you pick the game. 298 00:09:32,477 --> 00:09:33,882 It can be anything you want... 299 00:09:33,930 --> 00:09:37,334 Chess, word puzzles, something with a calculator. 300 00:09:37,335 --> 00:09:40,898 All right, then. I choose Dungeons and Dragons. 301 00:09:40,923 --> 00:09:42,324 [Students gasp] 302 00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:44,125 "The Ghost Tower of Inverness." 303 00:09:44,150 --> 00:09:45,268 [Students gasp] 304 00:09:45,269 --> 00:09:47,179 What's happening? Why is half the class gasping? 305 00:09:47,180 --> 00:09:48,656 Tournament module. 306 00:09:48,663 --> 00:09:49,664 [Students gasp] 307 00:09:49,689 --> 00:09:51,101 What he said, then. Okay. 308 00:09:51,126 --> 00:09:54,609 Then... And the winners get free pizza and losers run laps. 309 00:09:54,634 --> 00:09:57,046 I'm gonna eat so much pepperoni. 310 00:09:57,071 --> 00:09:58,308 One slice per kid. 311 00:09:58,309 --> 00:10:00,484 [Blows whistle] 312 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,553 After deciding Carnegie Mellon was too far for Erica, 313 00:10:03,586 --> 00:10:06,272 my dad had an idea for a different college choice... 314 00:10:06,297 --> 00:10:07,561 One a lot closer to home. 315 00:10:07,586 --> 00:10:08,710 What the hell, Murray? 316 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:12,084 I know you're exploring your many options for next year, 317 00:10:12,109 --> 00:10:14,507 but the way I see it, there's just one. 318 00:10:14,532 --> 00:10:15,571 Yeah, CMU. 319 00:10:15,596 --> 00:10:16,675 Goldberg U. 320 00:10:16,762 --> 00:10:19,351 Why go to college hundreds of miles away 321 00:10:19,376 --> 00:10:21,976 when you can enjoy the comforts of campus life 322 00:10:22,001 --> 00:10:23,773 right here at home? 323 00:10:23,804 --> 00:10:26,398 And so began the worst college tour of all time. 324 00:10:26,423 --> 00:10:28,405 The school cafeteria. 325 00:10:28,430 --> 00:10:30,054 It did not start out strong... 326 00:10:30,070 --> 00:10:32,914 Shrimp parm three times a week. 327 00:10:32,939 --> 00:10:34,202 And then it got worse... 328 00:10:34,227 --> 00:10:35,875 Our state-of-the-art dorm room. 329 00:10:35,898 --> 00:10:36,907 Much worse... 330 00:10:36,908 --> 00:10:38,515 And don't forget our school mascot, 331 00:10:38,523 --> 00:10:39,468 the mighty Cockapoo. 332 00:10:39,484 --> 00:10:41,756 And finally downright stupid. 333 00:10:41,781 --> 00:10:43,319 Here's our student lounge. 334 00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:44,375 Oh, look! 335 00:10:44,383 --> 00:10:47,372 One of our esteemed faculty has stopped by. 336 00:10:47,373 --> 00:10:48,827 I can't get over it. 337 00:10:48,852 --> 00:10:51,264 He throws a party in his dorm room 338 00:10:51,289 --> 00:10:54,298 after specifically being told not to. 339 00:10:54,299 --> 00:10:56,318 We can't fire him. He's got tenure. 340 00:10:56,319 --> 00:10:58,803 But the point is, you are going to Goldberg U. 341 00:10:58,828 --> 00:11:00,747 Wait, so you spent your whole life 342 00:11:00,748 --> 00:11:02,334 saying you wanted your kids out of the house, 343 00:11:02,359 --> 00:11:04,560 and now you want me to stay forever? 344 00:11:04,585 --> 00:11:05,101 Yes. 345 00:11:05,141 --> 00:11:08,484 Well, I didn't apply, and also, this isn't a school. 346 00:11:08,905 --> 00:11:11,195 Murray, I'm usually the irrational one 347 00:11:11,220 --> 00:11:13,914 who keeps our children from enjoying their lives, not you. 348 00:11:13,939 --> 00:11:15,632 All right, look at this movie. 349 00:11:15,936 --> 00:11:17,710 That's what college is. 350 00:11:17,735 --> 00:11:19,875 Do you want Erica to end up in a hot tub 351 00:11:19,900 --> 00:11:21,750 with an elderly businessman? 352 00:11:21,775 --> 00:11:23,148 Okay, you're kind of taking 353 00:11:23,173 --> 00:11:25,375 some of the tickle out of the movie for me. 354 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:28,320 Our daughter deserves a first-class education. 355 00:11:28,345 --> 00:11:30,060 She needs to experience life. 356 00:11:30,085 --> 00:11:33,062 She can experience it here where she's safe 357 00:11:33,087 --> 00:11:34,593 and we can protect her. 358 00:11:34,618 --> 00:11:36,257 End of words! 359 00:11:36,282 --> 00:11:39,062 Good. Now I can finally hear "Back to School". 360 00:11:39,087 --> 00:11:40,477 What is it with you and this movie? 361 00:11:40,502 --> 00:11:42,031 He's living the dream. 362 00:11:42,094 --> 00:11:44,186 I mean, what parent wouldn't want 363 00:11:44,211 --> 00:11:45,648 to go back to school with his kid? 364 00:11:45,673 --> 00:11:47,289 But a parent can't really do that. 365 00:11:47,314 --> 00:11:48,835 But he does. 366 00:11:49,266 --> 00:11:50,187 He does? 367 00:11:50,212 --> 00:11:52,191 At my mom was putting together a plan, 368 00:11:52,216 --> 00:11:54,984 I was planning a D and D victory. 369 00:11:55,009 --> 00:11:57,703 Okay, it's been two hours, and there's been 370 00:11:57,728 --> 00:12:00,777 a lot of wrestling and confusion on why D and D is a thing, 371 00:12:00,973 --> 00:12:04,052 but here we are, so let's just continue. 372 00:12:04,077 --> 00:12:05,414 Zinethar the priest, your move. 373 00:12:05,439 --> 00:12:09,523 My move is I change my name to Dick Biggens. 374 00:12:09,548 --> 00:12:11,547 [Laughter] 375 00:12:11,572 --> 00:12:13,140 You can't change your name. 376 00:12:13,165 --> 00:12:14,524 Yeah! 377 00:12:14,549 --> 00:12:16,843 I meant you're facing a deadly, gelatinous cube. 378 00:12:16,875 --> 00:12:17,781 How do you evade it? 379 00:12:17,806 --> 00:12:19,844 Evade it? Let's kick that Jell-O's ass. 380 00:12:19,845 --> 00:12:20,805 - Yeah. - Yeah. 381 00:12:20,806 --> 00:12:21,804 It's a gelatinous cube. 382 00:12:21,829 --> 00:12:25,351 If you attack it, it'll slurp you up and digest you alive. 383 00:12:25,376 --> 00:12:27,367 Sweet! Look at that busty hot chick. 384 00:12:27,392 --> 00:12:28,372 [Laughter] 385 00:12:28,397 --> 00:12:29,062 That's not a chick. 386 00:12:29,087 --> 00:12:31,327 It's a Dryad, a deadly tree sprite. 387 00:12:31,352 --> 00:12:32,451 Can my guy make out with her? 388 00:12:32,452 --> 00:12:33,491 I want to make out with her, too. 389 00:12:33,492 --> 00:12:34,187 What do I got to roll? 390 00:12:34,212 --> 00:12:35,487 Fine. 391 00:12:35,512 --> 00:12:37,501 A Dryad suddenly appears. 392 00:12:37,502 --> 00:12:39,109 If you roll a 20, you can kiss her. 393 00:12:39,134 --> 00:12:40,233 If not, we move on. 394 00:12:40,258 --> 00:12:41,462 [Blows] 395 00:12:42,315 --> 00:12:43,414 - Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! - Oh! 396 00:12:43,439 --> 00:12:45,799 Yeah! Yeah! 397 00:12:45,824 --> 00:12:47,632 I take her back to my apartment, and we do stuff. 398 00:12:47,657 --> 00:12:48,637 Ooh. 399 00:12:48,662 --> 00:12:49,770 There's no apartment. 400 00:12:49,795 --> 00:12:51,703 If you won't let me get busy with the tree lady, 401 00:12:51,728 --> 00:12:53,657 then I stab the Jell-O man in his face. 402 00:12:53,682 --> 00:12:57,140 And you're paralyzed and slowly eaten alive. 403 00:12:57,165 --> 00:12:57,968 End of game. 404 00:12:57,993 --> 00:12:59,041 I've heard enough. 405 00:12:59,084 --> 00:13:01,043 Time for Barry to fix this. 406 00:13:01,068 --> 00:13:01,968 Where did he come from? 407 00:13:01,993 --> 00:13:03,109 He does that. 408 00:13:03,134 --> 00:13:04,875 Just go away. This is hopeless. 409 00:13:04,905 --> 00:13:06,564 That's where you're wrong. 410 00:13:06,589 --> 00:13:09,343 The only problem is, you guys don't speak the same language. 411 00:13:09,368 --> 00:13:11,377 You speak lazy-eyed nerd, 412 00:13:11,402 --> 00:13:13,531 and, like me, you speak awesome, all-star athlete. 413 00:13:13,556 --> 00:13:14,631 Tater "T"? 414 00:13:14,656 --> 00:13:15,820 - Score. - Yeah, man. 415 00:13:15,845 --> 00:13:16,773 I like this bro. 416 00:13:16,798 --> 00:13:18,148 Of course you do. 417 00:13:18,173 --> 00:13:22,015 Even though I'm ripped like you, my body has also been infected 418 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,718 by my brother's crippling geekery. 419 00:13:23,743 --> 00:13:25,682 I tried to fight it, but it's too powerful. 420 00:13:25,707 --> 00:13:27,016 And it's led to this. 421 00:13:27,041 --> 00:13:28,041 [Sighs] 422 00:13:28,066 --> 00:13:30,859 Dude, you created a D and D character? 423 00:13:30,884 --> 00:13:32,923 Lord Big of Tasty. 424 00:13:32,971 --> 00:13:35,140 I wanted one ready in case you asked me to play, 425 00:13:35,165 --> 00:13:37,429 but... you never did. 426 00:13:37,914 --> 00:13:39,648 I just assumed you didn't care. 427 00:13:39,673 --> 00:13:42,382 Point is, if this crazy-jacked bro 428 00:13:42,407 --> 00:13:44,265 can learn how to play D and D, 429 00:13:44,290 --> 00:13:46,699 other super-shredded bros can, too. 430 00:13:46,724 --> 00:13:49,937 I mean, sure, we're shredded, but we suck at this game. 431 00:13:49,962 --> 00:13:52,011 Adam keeps yelling at us and hurting our feelings. 432 00:13:52,036 --> 00:13:54,140 That's 'cause you used a lightning-bolt spell 433 00:13:54,165 --> 00:13:56,906 in an underwater melee like a bunch of scrubs. 434 00:13:56,931 --> 00:13:58,054 We're trying our best. 435 00:13:58,079 --> 00:13:59,503 We're just not good at it like you. 436 00:13:59,528 --> 00:14:02,414 Do you have any idea how it feels to... to suck so bad? 437 00:14:02,439 --> 00:14:06,359 Actually, I do... when I play basketball. 438 00:14:06,392 --> 00:14:08,341 I-I didn't know that. 439 00:14:08,366 --> 00:14:10,648 Yeah, man. Sorry. 440 00:14:10,673 --> 00:14:13,539 All right. Lord Big of Tasty, teach us how to win. 441 00:14:13,564 --> 00:14:14,583 I shall. 442 00:14:14,608 --> 00:14:15,398 But first... 443 00:14:15,423 --> 00:14:17,956 coming off the top rope! 444 00:14:19,409 --> 00:14:21,468 All: Oh! 445 00:14:21,617 --> 00:14:23,646 Hey, boopie. 446 00:14:23,671 --> 00:14:24,680 Go away. 447 00:14:24,705 --> 00:14:27,754 Look, I wanted to apologize for your dad. 448 00:14:27,779 --> 00:14:29,554 Some people just don't understand 449 00:14:29,579 --> 00:14:31,648 the boundary between parent and child. 450 00:14:31,673 --> 00:14:33,562 Are you high on nail polish? 451 00:14:33,587 --> 00:14:35,606 I never went to college. 452 00:14:35,631 --> 00:14:37,585 This whole thing has made me realize 453 00:14:37,610 --> 00:14:41,406 everything I missed out on, and at the end of the day, 454 00:14:41,431 --> 00:14:44,340 I couldn't bear it if you missed out on those things, too. 455 00:14:44,365 --> 00:14:44,998 Really? 456 00:14:45,023 --> 00:14:48,012 Trust me, college is gonna be amazing. 457 00:14:48,013 --> 00:14:50,420 We are gonna have so much fun. 458 00:14:50,445 --> 00:14:52,434 Oh, my God. Thank you s... 459 00:14:52,436 --> 00:14:53,436 Wait. "We"? 460 00:14:53,437 --> 00:14:54,991 Yes. Crazy story. 461 00:14:55,016 --> 00:14:57,017 I was watching this movie with Pops, and... 462 00:14:57,018 --> 00:14:58,398 Please don't say "Back to School". 463 00:14:58,423 --> 00:15:02,311 It was "Back to School," and I realized that could be us. 464 00:15:02,336 --> 00:15:03,054 Hmm? 465 00:15:03,079 --> 00:15:04,118 No! Dad! 466 00:15:04,143 --> 00:15:06,172 Wherever you are sitting or eating in this house, 467 00:15:06,197 --> 00:15:07,240 come to my room immediately. 468 00:15:07,265 --> 00:15:08,320 It's an emergency. 469 00:15:08,345 --> 00:15:11,460 I was both sitting and eating, so this better be worth it. 470 00:15:11,485 --> 00:15:13,484 I'm going to Carnegie Mellon with Erica. 471 00:15:13,509 --> 00:15:14,867 - No. - We're gonna be roommates. 472 00:15:14,892 --> 00:15:16,179 - No! - We're gonna sneak in 473 00:15:16,204 --> 00:15:17,764 a hot plate to cook ramen soup. 474 00:15:17,789 --> 00:15:18,789 - Never! - And then we're gonna 475 00:15:18,789 --> 00:15:19,731 rush the same sorority. 476 00:15:19,756 --> 00:15:20,671 This is a nightmare. 477 00:15:20,696 --> 00:15:22,163 And I'll be her mother and her sister. 478 00:15:22,188 --> 00:15:23,138 Kill me. 479 00:15:23,139 --> 00:15:24,177 She's right, Beverly. 480 00:15:24,178 --> 00:15:25,197 You're acting nuts. 481 00:15:25,198 --> 00:15:26,704 Yes. Thank you. 482 00:15:26,728 --> 00:15:28,969 'Cause she's obviously not going away at all. 483 00:15:28,994 --> 00:15:31,093 Erica's staying here and being my little peanut. 484 00:15:31,118 --> 00:15:32,984 What is wrong with you people?! 485 00:15:33,009 --> 00:15:35,183 Seriously, I get no respect! 486 00:15:35,208 --> 00:15:36,247 No respect. 487 00:15:36,248 --> 00:15:39,365 That's exactly what Rodney Dangerzone says. 488 00:15:39,390 --> 00:15:41,553 See? We are on the same team. 489 00:15:41,578 --> 00:15:43,070 No, we're not. 490 00:15:43,046 --> 00:15:44,695 If either of you were on my team, 491 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,570 you would actually hear my hopes and dreams 492 00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:49,335 and not try to take them away or make them about you. 493 00:15:49,360 --> 00:15:51,171 So just forget all of it. 494 00:15:51,477 --> 00:15:53,648 I won't go to college at all. 495 00:15:55,457 --> 00:15:56,078 Wow. 496 00:15:56,094 --> 00:15:59,319 I guess we both really blew it here, huh? 497 00:15:59,344 --> 00:16:00,531 Mostly you. 498 00:16:00,556 --> 00:16:02,758 As my parents were facing off against Erica, 499 00:16:02,783 --> 00:16:04,802 our school gym was about to witness 500 00:16:04,897 --> 00:16:06,328 the face-off of a lifetime. 501 00:16:06,353 --> 00:16:08,687 Looks like Goldberg and his merry band of meatheads 502 00:16:08,712 --> 00:16:09,138 are a no show. 503 00:16:09,163 --> 00:16:10,257 Congrats, boys. 504 00:16:10,282 --> 00:16:11,827 You just earned yourself a cheese pizza. 505 00:16:11,852 --> 00:16:13,640 I have been in real dungeon. 506 00:16:13,665 --> 00:16:16,367 ♪ We're playing and D ♪ 507 00:16:16,392 --> 00:16:19,551 But we did show... Ready to roll... some dice. 508 00:16:19,576 --> 00:16:22,164 - ♪ We love that D and D ♪ - Dungeons and Dragons, anyone? 509 00:16:22,188 --> 00:16:23,428 Whatever. By the end of this game, 510 00:16:23,453 --> 00:16:25,312 you guys aren't gonna know what end 511 00:16:25,343 --> 00:16:26,561 of the Staff of the Magi you're holding. 512 00:16:26,586 --> 00:16:28,535 Well, if you're casting confusion, 513 00:16:28,536 --> 00:16:30,929 the Staff of the Magi gives the user a plus-two 514 00:16:30,954 --> 00:16:33,914 on saves versus magic, so, uh, good luck with that. 515 00:16:33,939 --> 00:16:35,938 [Gasps] They've learned our ways. 516 00:16:35,977 --> 00:16:38,006 Enough talk. Let the battle begin. 517 00:16:38,007 --> 00:16:39,976 - [Blows whistle] - ♪ D and D is my favorite game ♪ 518 00:16:39,977 --> 00:16:42,018 ♪ I like the way you battle, but you use your brain ♪ 519 00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:44,148 ♪ Just like I'm the king of the bolt and sword ♪ 520 00:16:44,173 --> 00:16:44,725 All: Yeah! 521 00:16:44,750 --> 00:16:46,382 ♪ Fighting ogres and orcs and the monster hoard ♪ 522 00:16:46,422 --> 00:16:47,621 ♪ I roll the dice and then I lead my crew ♪ 523 00:16:47,622 --> 00:16:48,656 - Dude! - Oh! 524 00:16:48,664 --> 00:16:50,583 ♪ No Dungeon Master can scare my crew ♪ 525 00:16:50,608 --> 00:16:53,163 I cast cure light wounds. 526 00:16:53,188 --> 00:16:54,905 I draw my Staff of Striking. 527 00:16:54,930 --> 00:16:56,671 Lightning bolt! Lightning bolt! 528 00:16:56,696 --> 00:16:58,155 Thank you, cloak of displacement. 529 00:16:58,180 --> 00:16:59,414 Corbett, you're dead. 530 00:16:59,439 --> 00:17:03,179 Taz Money, the basilisk turns you to stone. 531 00:17:03,204 --> 00:17:05,223 Face! 532 00:17:05,224 --> 00:17:06,679 Sirota, you're out. 533 00:17:06,704 --> 00:17:07,835 Come on, DM. 534 00:17:07,860 --> 00:17:09,159 What kind of call is that? 535 00:17:09,184 --> 00:17:11,545 That day, the most amazing thing happened. 536 00:17:11,570 --> 00:17:13,562 It was no longer jocks versus scrubs. 537 00:17:13,587 --> 00:17:16,359 We were a class united in one belief... 538 00:17:16,384 --> 00:17:19,273 - D and D was awesome. - All: Yeah! 539 00:17:19,298 --> 00:17:21,453 It was the greatest game ever played in any gym class, 540 00:17:21,478 --> 00:17:22,390 and we loved it. 541 00:17:23,367 --> 00:17:25,356 Except for Coach Mellor, 542 00:17:25,410 --> 00:17:26,625 who didn't realize it would last four hours. 543 00:17:26,650 --> 00:17:29,045 It's 6:30 P.M. I just want my life back. 544 00:17:29,070 --> 00:17:31,089 In the end, two were left standing... 545 00:17:31,090 --> 00:17:33,398 Me and the friend I betrayed. 546 00:17:34,086 --> 00:17:35,327 Our D and D game was ending, 547 00:17:35,352 --> 00:17:36,450 and with one last move, 548 00:17:36,451 --> 00:17:38,577 I would become a gym-class hero. 549 00:17:38,602 --> 00:17:41,350 All right, Goldfarb, as you reach the soul gem, 550 00:17:41,375 --> 00:17:46,294 you find a gelatinous cube slowly oozing towards you. 551 00:17:46,295 --> 00:17:47,163 Take the gem. 552 00:17:47,188 --> 00:17:48,138 Finish it up, Goldberg. 553 00:17:48,139 --> 00:17:49,007 Easy lay-up. 554 00:17:49,032 --> 00:17:51,421 Go ahead, Betrayer. End it. 555 00:17:51,446 --> 00:17:52,718 Don't act like that. 556 00:17:52,743 --> 00:17:54,960 Me and my boys won this fair and square. 557 00:17:54,985 --> 00:17:57,064 It's not about winning, man. 558 00:17:57,089 --> 00:17:59,118 D and D was the one thing we were good at, 559 00:17:59,143 --> 00:18:01,182 and now... 560 00:18:01,207 --> 00:18:02,648 you took that away, too. 561 00:18:03,109 --> 00:18:07,018 ♪♪ 562 00:18:11,358 --> 00:18:13,210 Take the gem and win the game already. 563 00:18:13,235 --> 00:18:14,093 Please. 564 00:18:15,729 --> 00:18:17,579 I raise my sword... 565 00:18:19,611 --> 00:18:20,914 and toss it aside 566 00:18:20,939 --> 00:18:23,484 and swan-dive directly into the gelatinous cube. 567 00:18:24,004 --> 00:18:24,929 [Gasping] Adam, no! 568 00:18:24,954 --> 00:18:25,959 - What? Are you crazy? - No, no. 569 00:18:25,984 --> 00:18:26,914 Everybody, shut up. 570 00:18:27,757 --> 00:18:31,398 You do realize you'll die if you touch the Jell-O thing. 571 00:18:35,678 --> 00:18:36,613 I touch the Jell-O. 572 00:18:36,638 --> 00:18:37,656 - No! - Stop! 573 00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:38,762 I touch the Jell-O! 574 00:18:38,787 --> 00:18:42,492 I touch the Jell-O! 575 00:18:42,517 --> 00:18:46,046 And you're dead. Dave Kim's team wins. 576 00:18:46,071 --> 00:18:47,711 Somebody clean this up. 577 00:18:47,736 --> 00:18:48,845 [Blows whistle] 578 00:18:49,416 --> 00:18:50,085 Good game. 579 00:18:50,110 --> 00:18:51,390 I don't get it. 580 00:18:51,415 --> 00:18:54,406 You finally had their respect. Why give it up? 581 00:18:54,431 --> 00:18:57,562 - [General Public's "Tenderness" plays] - I guess it's not their respect I want. 582 00:18:58,471 --> 00:19:01,522 And so, that day, I fell on my sword 583 00:19:01,547 --> 00:19:04,606 to save something much more important, 584 00:19:04,638 --> 00:19:07,359 and my parents realized letting go was more important 585 00:19:07,384 --> 00:19:08,473 than holding on. 586 00:19:08,498 --> 00:19:10,609 Hey, Squishy. Can we talk? 587 00:19:11,870 --> 00:19:13,851 Oh, God, I'm gonna cry. Murray, you talk. 588 00:19:14,481 --> 00:19:16,134 [Sighs] Rough start. 589 00:19:16,159 --> 00:19:18,561 Look, you know how I sometimes say to you kids 590 00:19:18,562 --> 00:19:19,897 that I want you out of the house? 591 00:19:19,922 --> 00:19:21,397 Only three to five times a day. 592 00:19:21,422 --> 00:19:25,023 Yeah, well, the reason is it always seemed so far away. 593 00:19:25,048 --> 00:19:27,377 Then I blinked and here we are, 594 00:19:27,402 --> 00:19:31,431 and... I guess I just wasn't ready for it. 595 00:19:31,432 --> 00:19:32,501 ♪ But I was scared to go much further with it ♪ 596 00:19:32,502 --> 00:19:33,968 And don't worry. 597 00:19:33,993 --> 00:19:36,554 I won't go to college with you. Unless you want me to. 598 00:19:36,579 --> 00:19:38,264 - Never. - You'll sleep on it. 599 00:19:38,289 --> 00:19:41,781 That day, my parents started to let their peanut go, 600 00:19:41,812 --> 00:19:44,060 and me and my new friends realized it didn't matter 601 00:19:44,085 --> 00:19:45,444 if you're picked first or last 602 00:19:45,469 --> 00:19:47,703 'cause we're all on the same team. 603 00:19:47,728 --> 00:19:50,125 Should've cast a reverse gravity spell, Holmes. 604 00:19:50,483 --> 00:19:51,492 ♪ Just half a chance ♪ 605 00:19:51,493 --> 00:19:52,914 That's pretty impressive. 606 00:19:52,939 --> 00:19:53,998 Thanks. [Chuckles] 607 00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:56,679 ♪ Next night you're not ♪ 608 00:19:56,704 --> 00:19:57,813 Barry: What? 609 00:19:57,838 --> 00:19:59,554 You got psionic powers 610 00:19:59,579 --> 00:20:00,942 and you're attacking with a dagger? 611 00:20:00,967 --> 00:20:01,937 What a dork. 612 00:20:01,962 --> 00:20:04,530 Barry, this is the third time you've walked by. 613 00:20:04,555 --> 00:20:06,514 Do you, like, want to join us? 614 00:20:06,515 --> 00:20:08,474 [Laughs] 615 00:20:08,475 --> 00:20:09,584 Let's do this, boys. 616 00:20:09,585 --> 00:20:11,742 That's the thing about the adventure of life. 617 00:20:11,767 --> 00:20:14,171 It doesn't matter if you win or lose. 618 00:20:14,196 --> 00:20:16,580 It's who you have along for the ride. 619 00:20:16,605 --> 00:20:18,265 ♪ Is your love like a button? ♪ 620 00:20:26,281 --> 00:20:29,220 Stop! I don't want you filming me, all right? 621 00:20:29,221 --> 00:20:30,648 Stop! 622 00:20:30,868 --> 00:20:33,023 Lord Big of Tasty, in the clearing, 623 00:20:33,048 --> 00:20:35,326 you encounter a she-wolf. 624 00:20:35,351 --> 00:20:36,484 Fight or flee? 625 00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:39,054 I do a few push-ups to get pumped up, and I ask her out. 626 00:20:39,079 --> 00:20:40,232 - For sure. - Yeah, boy. 627 00:20:40,257 --> 00:20:41,273 Boom! [Laughs] 628 00:20:41,274 --> 00:20:43,365 But then, suddenly, her smokin' hot twin sister's 629 00:20:43,390 --> 00:20:46,781 also there, and she's like, "Hey, why don't we all party?" 630 00:20:46,806 --> 00:20:49,296 And then we hop into the wolf hot tub that's also there. 631 00:20:49,321 --> 00:20:50,420 There's no wolf hot tub! 632 00:20:50,445 --> 00:20:51,968 Come on, DM. 633 00:20:52,425 --> 00:20:54,101 Fine. If you roll a 20, 634 00:20:54,126 --> 00:20:55,820 it's the best night of your life. 635 00:20:56,395 --> 00:20:57,434 [Blows] 636 00:20:57,435 --> 00:20:59,117 - One. - Damn it! 637 00:20:59,142 --> 00:21:00,340 The she-wolves eat you. 638 00:21:00,365 --> 00:21:01,525 Anyone want to play Monopoly?