1
00:00:06,328 --> 00:00:09,577
Don't you get it, Hannah? I am
not a person who yells, okay?
2
00:00:09,579 --> 00:00:13,169
I am not a person who freaks
out. I'm a chill fucking person,
3
00:00:13,171 --> 00:00:16,200
and you made me go fucking insane.
4
00:00:16,332 --> 00:00:17,651
I'm really sorry.
5
00:00:17,653 --> 00:00:19,472
You're fuckin' sorry?
6
00:00:19,474 --> 00:00:23,311
I've never acted like this before in
a relationship, all right? Not once.
7
00:00:23,313 --> 00:00:24,873
I'm a good fuckin' boyfriend.
8
00:00:24,875 --> 00:00:27,214
And you, you just shit all over that.
9
00:00:27,216 --> 00:00:29,883
You shit all over it, and you
somehow make me the fuckin' bad guy?
10
00:00:29,885 --> 00:00:31,599
Fran, stop, okay?
11
00:00:32,004 --> 00:00:36,649
You're a dick. A secret dick,
to be sure, but you are a dick.
12
00:00:36,651 --> 00:00:39,777
You're very judgmental.
You're very moralistic.
13
00:00:39,785 --> 00:00:42,473
You definitely would've sent
witches to trial in "The Crucible."
14
00:00:42,475 --> 00:00:45,877
And that might work for some,
like, administrative assistant
15
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:49,092
that you meet in a sports bar,
but it doesn't work for me.
16
00:00:49,094 --> 00:00:52,423
Our relationship didn't
work out. It sucks.
17
00:00:52,425 --> 00:00:53,837
At this point, it really doesn't matter
18
00:00:53,839 --> 00:00:55,844
who the asshole was or
who the asshole wasn't,
19
00:00:55,846 --> 00:00:57,993
so why can't you just
take your stuff and go?
20
00:00:58,620 --> 00:01:02,066
You wouldn't know real love
if it bit your fuckin' tit off.
21
00:01:02,068 --> 00:01:04,821
- I'm sure you're right.
- You said to me, point-blank,
22
00:01:04,823 --> 00:01:06,985
that you had never been in a
healthy relationship before.
23
00:01:06,987 --> 00:01:08,756
So how would you even
know if this was healthy?
24
00:01:08,758 --> 00:01:10,600
- I wouldn't know.
- Maybe, for all you know,
25
00:01:10,602 --> 00:01:13,060
you just said good-bye to the best
thing that ever happened to you.
26
00:01:13,062 --> 00:01:14,262
Probably, I did.
27
00:01:14,663 --> 00:01:16,748
You're gonna regret
this so fuckin' hard.
28
00:01:16,750 --> 00:01:18,951
Fran, I don't know why you
can't just give this up.
29
00:01:18,953 --> 00:01:20,835
You don't even like me.
30
00:01:20,837 --> 00:01:24,070
It does not matter if
I don't like you, okay?
31
00:01:24,484 --> 00:01:25,685
I love you.
32
00:01:27,280 --> 00:01:29,161
I would be happy to pay for an Uber
33
00:01:29,163 --> 00:01:32,245
to transport you and your
things back to your home.
34
00:01:33,682 --> 00:01:38,677
Sync & corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com
35
00:02:10,215 --> 00:02:11,998
Oh, fuck.
36
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:15,602
So, what, you had a sex dream about Ray?
37
00:02:15,604 --> 00:02:18,430
You've had actual sex with
Ray, which is way worse.
38
00:02:18,432 --> 00:02:21,393
And I've had sex dreams about
everybody I've known, including you.
39
00:02:21,395 --> 00:02:22,725
You raped me.
40
00:02:22,727 --> 00:02:26,356
No, it wasn't a sex dream,
it wasn't a love dream.
41
00:02:26,433 --> 00:02:29,384
We weren't even having sex
in it. I mean, I still came,
42
00:02:29,386 --> 00:02:31,150
- but it was from something else.
- Ugh! Oh, Marnie,
43
00:02:31,152 --> 00:02:33,423
I don't want to hear about
this. And you can't come.
44
00:02:33,425 --> 00:02:35,180
I was brushing his hair.
45
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:37,433
Well, that's a fool's
errand if I ever heard one.
46
00:02:37,435 --> 00:02:40,650
He had this long, gorgeous hair.
47
00:02:40,652 --> 00:02:44,707
It was like Khaleesi from "Game of
Thrones" except it was raven black,
48
00:02:44,709 --> 00:02:48,272
and I was just brushing
it slowly and tenderly
49
00:02:48,274 --> 00:02:50,883
and I was getting him ready for school.
50
00:02:51,426 --> 00:02:53,971
So, he was, like, your daughter?
51
00:02:53,973 --> 00:02:55,846
Yeah, in a sense.
52
00:02:55,848 --> 00:02:57,957
God, I just can't get it out of my mind.
53
00:02:57,959 --> 00:03:00,474
It's like the best thing
that's happened to me in months.
54
00:03:00,476 --> 00:03:03,209
That's the most depressing thing
I've heard in my entire life.
55
00:03:03,211 --> 00:03:06,122
And you know what? I wish it was real.
56
00:03:07,435 --> 00:03:09,489
What is wrong with me?
57
00:03:10,099 --> 00:03:12,655
Well, your sandals, for starters.
58
00:03:13,749 --> 00:03:15,716
♪ Ain't no love ♪
59
00:03:15,718 --> 00:03:18,463
♪ And it's sure 'nuff a pity ♪
60
00:03:19,707 --> 00:03:21,885
♪ Ain't no love ♪
61
00:03:23,895 --> 00:03:25,955
- Shosh?
- Ray.
62
00:03:25,957 --> 00:03:27,658
Shosh, is that really you?
63
00:03:27,660 --> 00:03:31,161
- Oh, my God. Oh, Shosh.
- Hey.
64
00:03:31,163 --> 00:03:33,830
Mm, Shosh, look at you.
65
00:03:33,966 --> 00:03:35,499
I can't believe it's you.
66
00:03:35,501 --> 00:03:37,960
You're a full-grown woman now.
67
00:03:38,637 --> 00:03:39,984
Are you guys closed?
68
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:42,827
No, but I'm about to
shut it down for the day.
69
00:03:42,829 --> 00:03:44,391
I've got a community board
meeting in a little while
70
00:03:44,393 --> 00:03:47,266
and then there's a Dennis Kucinich
live webstream I want to hop onto.
71
00:03:47,268 --> 00:03:48,811
What the fuck happened in here?
72
00:03:49,533 --> 00:03:52,849
Yeah, that. Across
the street over there.
73
00:03:53,185 --> 00:03:56,562
We've been outpaced, outshined,
outmaneuvered, out everything
74
00:03:56,564 --> 00:04:00,595
by those Neo-hippie
gender-neutral monsters.
75
00:04:00,776 --> 00:04:03,043
It's very bleak, Shosh. It's very bleak.
76
00:04:03,045 --> 00:04:04,941
Hermie says that if business
doesn't pick up in here,
77
00:04:04,947 --> 00:04:06,758
he's gonna turn this place
into a billiards store.
78
00:04:06,760 --> 00:04:09,258
- Not bar, store.
- Okay, you have to fight this, Ray.
79
00:04:09,260 --> 00:04:11,226
You have to have a wartime attitude.
80
00:04:11,228 --> 00:04:13,892
Maybe ask for some help, something
I know you're fucking terrible at,
81
00:04:13,894 --> 00:04:15,094
but ask for it anyways.
82
00:04:15,096 --> 00:04:18,710
Who's gonna help me, Shosh? Who?
My last remaining employee's Elijah.
83
00:04:18,712 --> 00:04:20,885
Hermie's consuming heroic
amounts of painkillers.
84
00:04:20,887 --> 00:04:23,947
My coffee truck is a complete bust
for reasons I can't even get into,
85
00:04:23,949 --> 00:04:26,283
although they involve
Hannah trying to suckle
86
00:04:26,285 --> 00:04:28,088
the head of my penis
at 50 miles an hour.
87
00:04:28,090 --> 00:04:29,314
Okay, I'm gonna help you.
88
00:04:29,316 --> 00:04:31,074
Seriously, what do you
think I was doing in Japan?
89
00:04:31,076 --> 00:04:32,370
I mean, other than learning origami
90
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:35,441
and eating candy that tastes like
other candy. I do marketing, Ray.
91
00:04:35,443 --> 00:04:38,503
It is my area of expertise. I went
to mother effing college for it,
92
00:04:38,505 --> 00:04:40,756
so, you know, at least let
me have a crack at that.
93
00:04:41,430 --> 00:04:43,052
We do make a pretty good team.
94
00:04:43,054 --> 00:04:44,254
The best.
95
00:04:45,828 --> 00:04:47,225
Wait, Hannah?
96
00:04:47,906 --> 00:04:49,707
- Y-yeah.
- Don't tell me.
97
00:04:53,045 --> 00:04:54,800
Can I help you with anything?
98
00:04:55,944 --> 00:04:57,164
I don't fuckin' know.
99
00:04:57,166 --> 00:05:00,690
Um, I guess I'm looking
for items that say...
100
00:05:02,231 --> 00:05:06,089
"I really am the one for you,
despite your misgivings about monogamy
101
00:05:06,091 --> 00:05:08,258
and your penthouse full of whores."
102
00:05:09,986 --> 00:05:13,265
I've been in a very open relationship...
103
00:05:13,267 --> 00:05:15,913
with a very well-known
television personality.
104
00:05:15,915 --> 00:05:19,998
- Okay.
- And, ah, I am really hoping to...
105
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,366
close it.
106
00:05:21,368 --> 00:05:23,609
Say no more. Mm-hmm.
107
00:05:27,355 --> 00:05:28,555
Ah.
108
00:05:31,617 --> 00:05:34,155
This is really speaking to me for that.
109
00:05:35,096 --> 00:05:36,908
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
110
00:05:36,910 --> 00:05:38,669
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
111
00:05:38,791 --> 00:05:43,132
All right. Why aren't you working in
a more high-end retail establishment?
112
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,884
Now, why aren't you shopping in one?
113
00:05:44,886 --> 00:05:47,651
Ooh, touché.
114
00:05:47,653 --> 00:05:49,599
- Uh...
- D'Emilia.
115
00:05:49,601 --> 00:05:52,102
D'Emilia. Hmm.
116
00:05:52,104 --> 00:05:54,215
Well, let's "Pretty
Woman" this shit, D'Emilia.
117
00:05:54,217 --> 00:05:55,419
You got it.
118
00:06:15,298 --> 00:06:17,744
Wow, good thing school's
not in session or...
119
00:06:17,746 --> 00:06:20,330
or that outfit would definitely not fly.
120
00:06:20,332 --> 00:06:23,392
Oh, you know, I'm kinda
trying to spend less time
121
00:06:23,394 --> 00:06:25,321
in places where my outfit doesn't fly.
122
00:06:25,838 --> 00:06:27,838
You know, my proverbial outfit.
123
00:06:28,323 --> 00:06:30,620
Um, I'm not sure I follow.
124
00:06:30,622 --> 00:06:31,977
Principal Toby,
125
00:06:32,112 --> 00:06:36,467
this has been a really, really
amazing opportunity for me.
126
00:06:36,469 --> 00:06:39,514
You've taken a lot of chances on me,
and I'm sure you've taken a lot of flak,
127
00:06:39,516 --> 00:06:41,217
which is why I'm gonna
seem like a real wench
128
00:06:41,219 --> 00:06:43,694
when I say that I don't think
I'll be coming back next year.
129
00:06:44,044 --> 00:06:46,631
Oh, gosh, I... why?
130
00:06:46,633 --> 00:06:48,775
Did you get... did you get another job?
131
00:06:48,777 --> 00:06:51,043
Is it those bastards from
Fort Greene Montessori?
132
00:06:51,045 --> 00:06:52,873
No, what it is is that I've been trying
133
00:06:52,875 --> 00:06:55,227
to stay more open to
signals from the universe,
134
00:06:55,229 --> 00:06:57,519
and I don't know if I can
be open to those signals
135
00:06:57,521 --> 00:06:59,552
if I'm tuned in to another song.
136
00:07:00,018 --> 00:07:01,836
This job being the song.
137
00:07:02,327 --> 00:07:04,925
Okay, Hannah. I wish you all the best.
138
00:07:04,927 --> 00:07:09,546
I really do. You know, you've
been so, um... eye-opening to me.
139
00:07:10,052 --> 00:07:11,882
- Really?
- Oh, yeah.
140
00:07:11,884 --> 00:07:14,339
I mean, with all your
setbacks and your issues,
141
00:07:14,341 --> 00:07:17,807
you... you live your life with
such a... joie de vivre.
142
00:07:17,809 --> 00:07:20,274
You're right, I do. I do have
a lot of joie de vivre.
143
00:07:20,276 --> 00:07:24,311
You do. You really do, and it's
unusual to see that in a teacher.
144
00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:26,258
I mean, it's unusual
to see it in anybody.
145
00:07:26,732 --> 00:07:28,899
I really hope you find
what you're looking for.
146
00:07:28,901 --> 00:07:30,343
Thank you, Principal Toby.
147
00:07:30,345 --> 00:07:32,652
And for the record, I
think you're a lot funkier
148
00:07:32,654 --> 00:07:34,367
than people give you credit for.
149
00:07:37,376 --> 00:07:40,374
And, by the way, I'm really
sorry I showed you my pussy.
150
00:07:40,376 --> 00:07:41,878
I was in a bad relationship
151
00:07:41,880 --> 00:07:45,050
and I was blasting a lot of
energy in the wrong direction.
152
00:07:45,065 --> 00:07:47,893
Forget about it. Water under the bridge.
153
00:07:48,337 --> 00:07:49,721
Thank you, sir.
154
00:08:02,011 --> 00:08:03,211
Hannah!
155
00:08:03,213 --> 00:08:05,936
Hannah. Hannah Horvath.
156
00:08:05,938 --> 00:08:07,663
Tally, hey.
157
00:08:07,665 --> 00:08:11,172
Oh, my God.
158
00:08:11,174 --> 00:08:13,186
This is so crazy.
159
00:08:13,188 --> 00:08:16,083
I was literally just thinking about you.
160
00:08:16,085 --> 00:08:17,528
Um, why?
161
00:08:17,530 --> 00:08:22,240
I am writing a novel about the tyranny
of political correctness at Oberlin,
162
00:08:22,242 --> 00:08:24,310
so of course I'm including
the sophomore year incident
163
00:08:24,312 --> 00:08:27,107
where you called our R.A. a
Jewish Hitler and then heil'd him.
164
00:08:27,109 --> 00:08:29,413
Yeah, well, you know, that's
sort of my story to tell.
165
00:08:29,415 --> 00:08:32,481
You do remember it, yeah. How are you?
166
00:08:32,483 --> 00:08:36,276
Um, I'm okay. I, ah,
it's a work in progress,
167
00:08:36,278 --> 00:08:38,496
- as it is for everybody, I would say.
- Oh.
168
00:08:38,498 --> 00:08:41,729
- People big and small.
- Mm-hmm, I do know that, girl.
169
00:08:41,731 --> 00:08:44,277
I just got back from a
writing retreat at MacDowell,
170
00:08:44,279 --> 00:08:46,693
so you're, like, the sixth person
I've seen since I left my cabin.
171
00:08:46,695 --> 00:08:48,708
So, I'm just like, I feel so crazy!
172
00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:51,640
Like, I just want to, like,
murder someone in the face!
173
00:08:51,642 --> 00:08:53,507
Where are you headed?
Do you want to hang out?
174
00:08:53,509 --> 00:08:57,485
Um, I'm not really headed anywhere
in particular at the moment.
175
00:08:57,487 --> 00:08:58,696
Okay.
176
00:08:58,698 --> 00:09:02,758
Well, that's perfect 'cause I'm
literally free until 3:00 AM.
177
00:09:02,760 --> 00:09:05,703
And I guess I'm free till I have to
go home to Michigan for Thanksgiving.
178
00:09:05,705 --> 00:09:07,861
- So, let's do it.
- Let's catch up.
179
00:09:07,863 --> 00:09:09,189
- Yeah.
- Okay.
180
00:09:09,500 --> 00:09:11,638
Whoa, this is crazy.
181
00:09:11,640 --> 00:09:13,695
- You look exactly the same.
- Thanks,
182
00:09:13,697 --> 00:09:15,841
- your bike looks really expensive.
- Yeah.
183
00:09:16,304 --> 00:09:19,726
Well, thank you for
agreeing to meet like this.
184
00:09:19,728 --> 00:09:21,217
It's very big of you,
185
00:09:21,461 --> 00:09:24,958
especially considering Tandace.
186
00:09:25,383 --> 00:09:27,349
Thank you for saying that.
187
00:09:28,210 --> 00:09:30,773
That means a lot to me,
praise coming from you.
188
00:09:30,775 --> 00:09:33,161
Okay, don't go overboard.
I just think that
189
00:09:33,163 --> 00:09:35,676
if we're going to keep the
ball rolling post-"Grey's"...
190
00:09:35,678 --> 00:09:36,878
Mm-hmm.
191
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:39,076
we have to put the past behind us.
192
00:09:39,078 --> 00:09:40,278
I agree.
193
00:09:40,532 --> 00:09:43,003
- This is a big moment for both of us.
- I know.
194
00:09:43,005 --> 00:09:45,201
I just need you to please promise me
195
00:09:45,203 --> 00:09:47,635
that the not-talking-to-me
bullshit is over.
196
00:09:47,637 --> 00:09:50,127
- Okay, well, it's tricky, Marn when the
- No.
197
00:09:50,129 --> 00:09:52,477
aggression train is headed
straight towards me...
198
00:09:52,479 --> 00:09:54,656
- We're collaborators. It's childish.
- Okay. I understand
199
00:09:54,658 --> 00:09:55,992
- we're collaborating so don't
- I doesn't make any sense.
200
00:09:55,994 --> 00:09:57,978
- judge the way that my process works.
- Baby.
201
00:09:57,980 --> 00:09:59,517
- Well, I'm not...
- Oh, hi.
202
00:09:59,519 --> 00:10:03,588
- Hi. It's time to go.
- Okay, my e ku'u.
203
00:10:03,590 --> 00:10:05,368
Um, actually, there's a
couple more bullet points
204
00:10:05,370 --> 00:10:08,172
- we're supposed to go over. Yeah.
- Des, you said eight minutes.
205
00:10:08,174 --> 00:10:11,353
- Any more than that will be...
- Re-immersion, right.
206
00:10:12,781 --> 00:10:14,260
We're done talking.
207
00:10:15,235 --> 00:10:16,435
Yes.
208
00:10:16,702 --> 00:10:19,196
- I got you that tea.
- Oh, thank you.
209
00:10:19,528 --> 00:10:21,237
How does that make you feel?
210
00:10:21,823 --> 00:10:24,601
You know, grateful and excited.
211
00:10:24,770 --> 00:10:25,970
Thirsty.
212
00:10:29,498 --> 00:10:32,818
Okay, Marn, I will, ah,
catch you at rehearsal.
213
00:10:35,216 --> 00:10:38,124
- I got you the hemp...
- I love that stuff.
214
00:10:38,520 --> 00:10:40,416
Hey, what are you drinking?
215
00:10:46,498 --> 00:10:48,195
...gonna move here,
and then just cut it...
216
00:10:48,197 --> 00:10:50,029
- You're gonna cross out the...
- Yeah, exactly.
217
00:10:50,031 --> 00:10:51,231
Hi.
218
00:10:51,607 --> 00:10:53,910
Elijah, hey. What a surprise.
219
00:10:53,912 --> 00:10:56,355
Uh, can I talk to you
for a... about something?
220
00:10:56,357 --> 00:10:59,175
Well, if it's about the troop
situation in Kandahar, then Alexia's
221
00:10:59,177 --> 00:11:01,386
already beat you to the punch.
222
00:11:01,388 --> 00:11:03,629
Why don't you wait in the wings,
we'll get a drink afterwards. Alexia,
223
00:11:03,631 --> 00:11:04,864
- can you show him where to stand?
- Sure.
224
00:11:04,866 --> 00:11:07,780
Um, no, actually, I... can we talk now?
225
00:11:09,420 --> 00:11:11,611
- Get that in the teleprompter?
- Yes.
226
00:11:14,785 --> 00:11:17,137
All right, is this another one
of your states of the union?
227
00:11:17,139 --> 00:11:18,395
No, it's not.
228
00:11:19,264 --> 00:11:21,775
I'm not happy with
the way we left things.
229
00:11:22,839 --> 00:11:27,798
I was angry and I felt like
you were... embarrassed,
230
00:11:27,800 --> 00:11:30,500
even though that's not an emotion
you claim to be able to feel.
231
00:11:30,502 --> 00:11:32,888
Well, I'm gonna be embarrassed
if I miss this broadcast.
232
00:11:33,637 --> 00:11:34,867
What is it?
233
00:11:36,565 --> 00:11:39,328
Dill, I know you would
never admit this to yourself,
234
00:11:40,542 --> 00:11:44,949
but don't you want to be with
somebody who sees you for you?
235
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:48,241
- Beyond all of this?
- Elijah.
236
00:11:48,243 --> 00:11:51,793
I'm the only person who's
gonna be honest with you
237
00:11:52,080 --> 00:11:56,166
about your bad jokes and the fact that,
238
00:11:56,168 --> 00:11:58,242
no, you don't look
better with a shaved head.
239
00:11:58,244 --> 00:12:00,453
And i-if you say your
private life is private
240
00:12:00,455 --> 00:12:03,006
and then you go and
see Cher in Las Vegas,
241
00:12:03,008 --> 00:12:04,890
that's not the same thing
as coming out of the closet.
242
00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:08,247
But all those guys you
have around, all those...
243
00:12:09,014 --> 00:12:11,121
fucking guys you just have,
244
00:12:11,400 --> 00:12:13,733
they're only gonna tell
you what you want to hear
245
00:12:13,735 --> 00:12:15,151
and they're gonna cater to you
246
00:12:15,153 --> 00:12:18,295
because of your fame and
the stuff that you have.
247
00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:21,989
I don't want your stuff.
248
00:12:25,195 --> 00:12:27,452
You're gonna end up with nothing.
249
00:12:28,943 --> 00:12:30,800
And you deserve everything.
250
00:12:35,132 --> 00:12:38,658
Dill, don't you want to be with someone
251
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,083
who sees you for you?
252
00:12:43,012 --> 00:12:48,001
Don't you want a... a boyfriend someone?
253
00:12:48,913 --> 00:12:50,548
Who's honest?
254
00:12:52,467 --> 00:12:53,718
Wow.
255
00:12:56,147 --> 00:12:57,948
- Hold on, hold on.
- I...
256
00:12:59,538 --> 00:13:00,931
You're not wrong.
257
00:13:02,400 --> 00:13:06,352
I've wanted something serious
for a while and... and...
258
00:13:07,405 --> 00:13:09,083
maybe this is the time.
259
00:13:09,085 --> 00:13:11,419
- Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
- That's not what I mean.
260
00:13:11,421 --> 00:13:13,969
I'm looking for someone special.
261
00:13:15,163 --> 00:13:17,213
A special someone.
262
00:13:17,321 --> 00:13:18,789
For me.
263
00:13:22,443 --> 00:13:24,159
And I'm not that someone.
264
00:13:26,258 --> 00:13:30,362
What can I say, Elijah?
Love is so mysterious.
265
00:13:31,560 --> 00:13:33,581
- What does he look like? No, I'm...
- Elijah, please.
266
00:13:33,583 --> 00:13:36,806
I'm just curious. I'm really curious.
What does this person even look like?
267
00:13:36,808 --> 00:13:39,097
I don't know, someone
closer to my own age...
268
00:13:39,099 --> 00:13:40,605
- Well...
- tall...
269
00:13:40,607 --> 00:13:42,300
Tall? We're like the
same height. How much...
270
00:13:42,302 --> 00:13:44,380
how much taller could a person be?
271
00:13:46,923 --> 00:13:48,833
Someone less aimless.
272
00:13:51,833 --> 00:13:53,203
Thank you.
273
00:13:54,347 --> 00:13:56,230
I feel so supported.
274
00:13:59,124 --> 00:14:01,515
God, you've opened up my mind...
275
00:14:02,379 --> 00:14:03,787
and my heart.
276
00:14:05,574 --> 00:14:07,954
I'll think of you every
time I go to Brooklyn.
277
00:14:37,939 --> 00:14:39,320
Can I help you?
278
00:14:39,663 --> 00:14:41,920
Oh, yeah, hey.
279
00:14:41,922 --> 00:14:45,954
I'm, ah, writing a poem...
280
00:14:46,087 --> 00:14:48,422
out of found words,
281
00:14:48,424 --> 00:14:51,390
so I'm, just, like,
looking for some words, man.
282
00:14:51,393 --> 00:14:53,958
That's cool. Do you mind
if we give you a few words?
283
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:56,295
Yeah, for sure... tot... there
are like... there are no rules.
284
00:14:56,297 --> 00:14:57,593
There are rules.
285
00:14:57,959 --> 00:14:59,302
"Greenery."
286
00:14:59,304 --> 00:15:00,586
Great.
287
00:15:00,588 --> 00:15:03,186
- "Silenced."
- Beautiful.
288
00:15:03,188 --> 00:15:04,904
- "Champion."
- "Ally."
289
00:15:04,906 --> 00:15:06,683
- "Tunic."
- Loving them.
290
00:15:06,685 --> 00:15:07,901
"Cat."
291
00:15:08,994 --> 00:15:11,789
I don't know if I'm gonna beat
that. That's really powerful.
292
00:15:11,791 --> 00:15:14,414
Yeah, I haven't really, like,
perfected the rhyme scheme yet,
293
00:15:14,416 --> 00:15:16,595
so these are actually perfect.
294
00:15:16,597 --> 00:15:18,718
- Thank you.
- Um...
295
00:15:19,300 --> 00:15:20,619
mahalo.
296
00:15:23,174 --> 00:15:27,588
I dated this guy on and off for a while.
Like, two years. I mean, it was...
297
00:15:27,590 --> 00:15:29,013
- it was pretty serious, I guess.
- Mm-hmm.
298
00:15:29,015 --> 00:15:32,702
Um, but, ah, we broke up because I
went to the Iowa Writers' Workshop,
299
00:15:32,704 --> 00:15:35,350
- which also didn't work out...
- Yeah, of course.
300
00:15:35,352 --> 00:15:38,132
I mean, did you not just feel so
oppressed while you were there?
301
00:15:38,134 --> 00:15:40,890
Or was it that, like, annoying
emphasis on traditional fiction
302
00:15:40,892 --> 00:15:42,358
that just kind of, like...
303
00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:45,862
- I just didn't want to write.
- Yeah, welcome to the club.
304
00:15:45,864 --> 00:15:49,146
No, I mean, like, I don't write anymore.
305
00:15:50,001 --> 00:15:53,178
I don't even write to-do
lists. I just don't do it.
306
00:15:54,282 --> 00:15:59,348
Really? Just, like,
total identity switcheroo.
307
00:16:00,047 --> 00:16:03,107
I think that's very brave. I think
that's very beautiful and brave.
308
00:16:03,109 --> 00:16:06,185
You know, then I got back and
he was dating this girl... woman,
309
00:16:06,187 --> 00:16:08,100
- Mimi-Rose.
- Howard?
310
00:16:08,453 --> 00:16:10,203
- You know her?
- Mm-hmm.
311
00:16:10,205 --> 00:16:15,766
She is such garbage, and if she fucks
with me at one more TEDxWomen's event,
312
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:18,982
I'm going to kill her
and then I will rejoice.
313
00:16:18,984 --> 00:16:22,497
Her fucking lectures, she's just
like, "Hi, I've got a lot to say
314
00:16:22,499 --> 00:16:25,500
about the feminist approach
to fucking being a bitch."
315
00:16:25,502 --> 00:16:29,656
Oh, oh, for sure. She is like
a pure white blinding evil.
316
00:16:29,774 --> 00:16:32,101
And then I dated this teacher
who was, like, you know,
317
00:16:32,103 --> 00:16:33,507
fine, but he was a square.
318
00:16:33,509 --> 00:16:35,722
- I'm not, obviously, a square.
- Mm-mm.
319
00:16:35,724 --> 00:16:37,604
Plus, I was just using him
to try to get over Adam,
320
00:16:37,606 --> 00:16:40,125
who's probably the only person
I've ever loved, so there's that.
321
00:16:40,127 --> 00:16:42,989
So, why not just go after that?
322
00:16:43,189 --> 00:16:44,492
Oh, I can't.
323
00:16:44,494 --> 00:16:46,406
I couldn't even if I wanted to.
324
00:16:46,689 --> 00:16:48,353
You remember Jessa, right?
325
00:16:48,355 --> 00:16:51,030
Of course. She tried to
cook meth in South Hall
326
00:16:51,032 --> 00:16:53,687
and then all the HazMat people
came and we were all so excited.
327
00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:57,257
Yeah, yeah, yeah. In fairness to
her, she was cooking the meth to sell.
328
00:16:57,259 --> 00:16:58,960
What she was smoking was crack.
329
00:16:58,962 --> 00:17:01,649
- Well, that's good.
- But anyway, he's with her now.
330
00:17:02,660 --> 00:17:03,926
Really?
331
00:17:04,344 --> 00:17:09,318
And is that normal for you? I mean,
aren't you guys, like, best friends?
332
00:17:09,320 --> 00:17:10,685
Thought so.
333
00:17:10,687 --> 00:17:12,507
Oh, fuck.
334
00:17:12,509 --> 00:17:15,905
That's so intense. I'm so sorry.
335
00:17:17,938 --> 00:17:20,711
Yeah, I mean from what I remember,
she has really amazing hair.
336
00:17:20,713 --> 00:17:22,572
She has amazing hair,
she's an amazing person.
337
00:17:22,574 --> 00:17:23,889
- Mm-hm.
- She's just not a person
338
00:17:23,891 --> 00:17:25,425
I can have in my life right now.
339
00:17:26,763 --> 00:17:30,463
And the worst part is, like,
I miss them both, you know?
340
00:17:30,465 --> 00:17:32,853
Like, I love them both so much,
341
00:17:32,855 --> 00:17:35,251
I don't know who to
warn about the other one.
342
00:17:36,224 --> 00:17:38,410
And I could do what my instinct is,
343
00:17:38,412 --> 00:17:41,913
which is run around and
destroy things and scream
344
00:17:41,915 --> 00:17:46,100
and try to throw myself in front
of a van to make a point, but...
345
00:17:46,102 --> 00:17:48,905
end of the day, that would just be me
fulfilling all of their expectations
346
00:17:48,907 --> 00:17:51,427
of me, and I would love to
surprise someone sometime.
347
00:17:52,138 --> 00:17:56,463
Ooh, no. Oh, lady, no.
348
00:17:56,465 --> 00:17:58,163
This is so sad.
349
00:17:58,165 --> 00:18:00,499
No, no, no, no, no, no.
350
00:18:00,501 --> 00:18:03,591
No. Oh, God.
351
00:18:04,035 --> 00:18:06,247
That hurt me to hear that.
352
00:18:06,829 --> 00:18:08,111
Mm-mm.
353
00:18:08,414 --> 00:18:09,682
Mm-mm.
354
00:18:09,874 --> 00:18:11,207
Poor girl.
355
00:18:11,209 --> 00:18:13,927
I could've eaten seven more
hot dogs. I was just being calm.
356
00:18:13,929 --> 00:18:16,337
Ugh, I feel like seven
hot dogs right now.
357
00:18:16,339 --> 00:18:17,946
Plus, I just can't eat a lot
358
00:18:17,955 --> 00:18:19,619
when someone else is
eating a minimal amount.
359
00:18:19,621 --> 00:18:21,308
I feel like we should've
both just gone for it.
360
00:18:21,310 --> 00:18:23,874
Did you just see this
asshole not lock his bike?
361
00:18:25,023 --> 00:18:27,106
- No.
- Well, I did,
362
00:18:27,108 --> 00:18:29,742
and I hate it when people
are like, "Oh, it was a sign."
363
00:18:29,744 --> 00:18:31,717
But I think this is a sign.
364
00:18:31,834 --> 00:18:34,766
- I'm not gonna steal a bike, Tally.
- That's what I'm saying.
365
00:18:34,768 --> 00:18:37,536
If you know what I'm saying,
then you know you should do it.
366
00:18:37,538 --> 00:18:41,555
Hop a leg over, get your vagina on
that seat, and ride into the future.
367
00:18:41,655 --> 00:18:42,973
You know what? Yes.
368
00:18:42,975 --> 00:18:45,861
People steal things all the
time without consequences.
369
00:18:45,863 --> 00:18:47,598
- It's my time.
- That's right.
370
00:18:47,600 --> 00:18:49,412
- It's my time.
- Inspired by me.
371
00:18:49,414 --> 00:18:51,187
I've never felt more alive!
372
00:18:51,189 --> 00:18:52,717
I have a new bike!
373
00:18:53,308 --> 00:18:55,000
Hey, that's my bike!
374
00:18:55,002 --> 00:18:56,372
- That's my bike!
- Ah! Go, go!
375
00:18:56,374 --> 00:18:58,407
- Come back here!
- Keep riding!
376
00:19:10,303 --> 00:19:11,503
Uh-oh.
377
00:19:12,937 --> 00:19:14,156
- Hi.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
378
00:19:23,232 --> 00:19:26,896
I wish I wasn't too scared to
look at the view. It's so nice!
379
00:19:26,898 --> 00:19:28,417
Just feel it in your heart.
380
00:19:28,419 --> 00:19:31,267
I can't even believe how fast I'm going!
381
00:19:31,269 --> 00:19:33,528
Don't look back, but I
look exactly like a poodle
382
00:19:33,529 --> 00:19:35,174
with her head sticking out the window.
383
00:19:35,176 --> 00:19:36,445
Whoo!
384
00:19:37,056 --> 00:19:39,073
Be careful. There's a bump.
385
00:19:42,066 --> 00:19:43,439
Eeeh.
386
00:19:43,441 --> 00:19:45,354
- Aw.
- This is me.
387
00:19:45,472 --> 00:19:46,951
Okay, bye.
388
00:19:47,126 --> 00:19:49,974
Well, we should smoke a Fatty J, right?
389
00:19:51,050 --> 00:19:52,250
Yeah.
390
00:19:52,715 --> 00:19:54,014
You're fun.
391
00:19:57,219 --> 00:20:02,179
Okay, that place is about to turn into
a Manson Family situation any day now.
392
00:20:02,181 --> 00:20:04,308
I am deeply uncomfortable
with what I have seen.
393
00:20:04,310 --> 00:20:05,610
New York is dead.
394
00:20:05,612 --> 00:20:07,811
The city's no place for
people like us anymore.
395
00:20:07,813 --> 00:20:10,564
Okay, Hermie, I know it
feels that way, but, no.
396
00:20:10,566 --> 00:20:13,145
Those hipsters are a
very specific subculture,
397
00:20:13,147 --> 00:20:16,035
a vocal minority, if you will,
like the Westboro Baptist Church.
398
00:20:16,037 --> 00:20:18,196
But they may all be
related for all we know.
399
00:20:18,451 --> 00:20:19,910
This is what I propose.
400
00:20:20,272 --> 00:20:24,378
Ray's as a destination
for the anti-hipster.
401
00:20:25,422 --> 00:20:27,615
You're talking about rebranding?
402
00:20:27,617 --> 00:20:29,166
Oh, a heavy rebranding.
403
00:20:29,168 --> 00:20:31,286
Like when Kentucky Fried
Chicken just became KFC
404
00:20:31,288 --> 00:20:34,099
so people would forget that they
were, you know, eating Kentucky food?
405
00:20:34,101 --> 00:20:38,713
Gentlemen, it is high time we start
selling coffee to people with jobs.
406
00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:41,255
Yeah.
407
00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,340
Good, beautiful. Good job.
408
00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:49,229
Good. Good girl. Good girl.
409
00:20:49,231 --> 00:20:51,319
I've been so fucking jealous of you.
410
00:20:52,253 --> 00:20:53,453
What?
411
00:20:53,728 --> 00:20:55,617
You're... are you kidding?
412
00:20:55,619 --> 00:20:59,546
You're like the bar against which
I've measured everything, you know?
413
00:20:59,548 --> 00:21:01,569
It's like, we graduated
from college four years ago,
414
00:21:01,571 --> 00:21:03,686
and so I calculate, "Oh,
it's been four years.
415
00:21:03,688 --> 00:21:07,726
Tally's published two books
of essays and a novel."
416
00:21:07,728 --> 00:21:10,958
- And I did a book of poetry as well.
- And you did a book of poetry as well.
417
00:21:10,960 --> 00:21:12,821
- Yeah.
- And what have I done?
418
00:21:13,025 --> 00:21:14,929
You know? What have I done with my life
419
00:21:14,931 --> 00:21:19,018
besides get not one
but two strains of HPV
420
00:21:19,020 --> 00:21:21,642
and gain and lose a total of 33 pounds?
421
00:21:21,644 --> 00:21:23,541
Oh, man.
422
00:21:24,056 --> 00:21:26,257
That's so...
423
00:21:26,259 --> 00:21:31,418
- crazy to be jealous of me.
- Oh, my God. Cut the shit, seriously.
424
00:21:33,566 --> 00:21:35,105
Fair enough.
425
00:21:36,543 --> 00:21:37,743
Yeah.
426
00:21:38,070 --> 00:21:41,393
Yeah, I guess everyone is jealous of me.
427
00:21:41,395 --> 00:21:42,837
Ugh.
428
00:21:44,877 --> 00:21:46,910
Do you know I Google myself every day?
429
00:21:47,521 --> 00:21:49,878
It's so gross, but I do,
430
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:52,464
and I just wanna see if, like,
Gawker or whoever they are
431
00:21:52,466 --> 00:21:55,219
has written some snarky thing
about how much of a hack I am
432
00:21:55,221 --> 00:21:57,339
or if even there's just,
like, a pretty picture of me
433
00:21:57,341 --> 00:22:01,009
in the "Financial Times" roundup
of books of the year.
434
00:22:01,011 --> 00:22:04,521
I need to see how other
people see me because...
435
00:22:05,848 --> 00:22:09,061
it's the only way that I can see myself.
436
00:22:11,604 --> 00:22:15,571
I wake up every morning
and I think, "Well, okay,
437
00:22:15,573 --> 00:22:17,241
what would Tally Schifrin do?
438
00:22:17,243 --> 00:22:21,318
Tally Schifrin is not even me now.
439
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:24,615
She's just, like, this
thing that I've created.
440
00:22:24,617 --> 00:22:29,253
She's a monster that I've
made and I have to feed,
441
00:22:29,255 --> 00:22:33,617
and she feeds on praise
442
00:22:33,619 --> 00:22:37,243
and controversy.
443
00:22:38,380 --> 00:22:43,717
And it's exhausting and boring at once.
444
00:22:46,443 --> 00:22:47,861
And...
445
00:22:48,807 --> 00:22:51,335
I'm too smart to be exhausted and bored.
446
00:22:51,337 --> 00:22:54,569
And now I have a book of essays due,
447
00:22:54,571 --> 00:22:56,233
and not to be, like, boo-hoo about it,
448
00:22:56,235 --> 00:22:58,894
but it's like what the fuck
am I gonna write an essay on?
449
00:22:58,896 --> 00:23:03,925
All I do is Google myself and smoke weed
450
00:23:03,927 --> 00:23:06,925
and, um, masturbate with
an electric toothbrush.
451
00:23:06,927 --> 00:23:10,182
- You could afford a vibrator.
- I know. I really don't want one
452
00:23:10,184 --> 00:23:12,343
and that makes me feel mentally ill.
453
00:23:15,205 --> 00:23:17,637
Today's, like, the
most fun I've had in...
454
00:23:19,342 --> 00:23:21,103
like 17 months.
455
00:23:21,924 --> 00:23:24,341
I just thought you
woke up in the morning
456
00:23:24,343 --> 00:23:27,785
in, like, a ray of sunshine
and, like, birds dressed you
457
00:23:28,038 --> 00:23:30,895
and you just, like, came in your
pants from all the accolades,
458
00:23:30,897 --> 00:23:34,377
and then people handed you awards
on your way to, like, a fancy dinner.
459
00:23:34,379 --> 00:23:36,938
Yeah. Yeah.
460
00:23:36,939 --> 00:23:41,700
Uh, I guess that's how
you're supposed to feel,
461
00:23:41,702 --> 00:23:44,092
like, by my calculations, but...
462
00:23:49,034 --> 00:23:50,669
Look at you.
463
00:23:51,594 --> 00:23:57,484
You've had all these, like,
boyfriends and jobs and moments.
464
00:23:58,344 --> 00:24:01,806
And you've lived all this truth.
465
00:24:02,582 --> 00:24:05,461
It didn't feel like very
much while it was happening.
466
00:24:05,587 --> 00:24:07,602
But it is much.
467
00:24:07,751 --> 00:24:10,323
And you have so much to say.
468
00:24:11,235 --> 00:24:13,715
And look at your little freckles.
469
00:24:14,059 --> 00:24:17,693
Look at your little freckles
all over your little face.
470
00:24:17,695 --> 00:24:21,980
And you have little tiny teeth.
They're so... little side teeth.
471
00:24:21,982 --> 00:24:23,192
- These teeth?
- Mm-hmm.
472
00:24:23,194 --> 00:24:25,584
- I don't even know if they're real.
- I love them.
473
00:24:25,586 --> 00:24:28,872
- Oh, thank you.
- Yeah, I love them so much.
474
00:24:28,874 --> 00:24:30,972
It's so nice.
475
00:24:35,798 --> 00:24:37,780
Should we have sex?
476
00:24:38,681 --> 00:24:40,146
Should we?
477
00:24:43,931 --> 00:24:46,999
- Like, probably not. No!
- No. Okay.
478
00:25:33,222 --> 00:25:34,737
- Hey.
- Hi.
479
00:25:35,590 --> 00:25:38,423
You're, uh, at my door.
480
00:25:38,738 --> 00:25:39,962
Yep.
481
00:25:40,696 --> 00:25:44,153
Yep, this is where I am.
482
00:25:45,750 --> 00:25:46,997
Cool.
483
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:52,735
I am having a very
strong feeling about you,
484
00:25:52,737 --> 00:25:57,298
and it's been making
me really uncomfortable.
485
00:25:58,154 --> 00:25:59,572
Okay.
486
00:26:00,998 --> 00:26:06,162
I am supposed to be alone right now.
You know, I'm spending time with myself.
487
00:26:06,164 --> 00:26:07,371
Okay.
488
00:26:07,373 --> 00:26:09,463
I'm not supposed to be doing this,
489
00:26:09,768 --> 00:26:11,481
but, um...
490
00:26:16,362 --> 00:26:18,321
I want to brush your hair.
491
00:26:19,651 --> 00:26:20,936
Come again?
492
00:26:39,288 --> 00:26:41,311
I had a love dream about you.
493
00:26:41,507 --> 00:26:44,229
- What the fuck is a love dream?
- I love you.
494
00:26:45,711 --> 00:26:47,354
It can't be you.
495
00:26:47,803 --> 00:26:50,465
It just... it can't. It can't be you.
496
00:26:55,911 --> 00:26:58,184
- I think it might be me, Marn.
- Yeah.
497
00:26:58,186 --> 00:26:59,778
- I really do.
- Yeah.
498
00:27:00,317 --> 00:27:02,229
I just think the next
person I sleep with,
499
00:27:02,231 --> 00:27:04,658
like, I want his ex-wife to be Spanish.
500
00:27:04,660 --> 00:27:06,924
Fuck, Willem Dafoe is your answer.
501
00:27:06,926 --> 00:27:09,323
Oh, my God. I would seriously...
502
00:27:09,902 --> 00:27:12,042
- Hi.
- Hello.
503
00:27:12,707 --> 00:27:13,939
- Hey.
- Yeah.
504
00:27:13,941 --> 00:27:17,243
I'm sorry. Oh, my God.
505
00:27:17,245 --> 00:27:18,689
I'm so sorry.
506
00:27:21,726 --> 00:27:22,951
What?
507
00:27:22,953 --> 00:27:26,219
- No, no, no.
- I don't know. I don't know.
508
00:27:26,221 --> 00:27:29,474
Oh. Please.
509
00:27:29,747 --> 00:27:31,030
I'm in shock.
510
00:27:31,039 --> 00:27:33,204
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
511
00:28:01,778 --> 00:28:06,778
Sync & corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com