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Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend
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if you're getting your butterfly
smashed, I am all for it.
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- As long as it's not Greg.
- Oh...
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Paula: He is Josh's best
friend, okay, and if you sleep
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with Josh's best friend,
that ruins any possibility
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for when you finally come
to your senses and realize
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that you were meant for Josh.
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Why does Rebecca like him?
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Why is she all buddy-buddy with him?
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He's just a stupid know-it-all.
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You're sleeping with Rebecca.
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All the time. A lot.
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It's Greg? You're sleeping with Greg?
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How could you?
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_
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So you're galloping through
the forest looking for me,
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'cause I was stolen by the evil witch,
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and you finally find me
in the enchanted woods.
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You gasp!
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You know, gasp?
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Just go like this.
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(Gasps)
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This is boring, Rebecca.
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Why can't we play with my trucks?
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Shh!
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Jake, you're not getting this.
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When we see each other,
the spell is lifted,
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and a song plays.
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I'm thinking that great song
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from the movie "Slumbered"
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Do you know it?
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It goes like this...
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♪ In one indescribable instant ♪
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♪ the whole world falls away... ♪
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No way. I'm not doing this.
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What? Come on.
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With that attitude,
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you're never gonna be
anyone's Prince Charming,
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while I'm gonna have a great love story.
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Greg: Wow. So Paula was pretty
pissed when she walked out of here.
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Yeah, I don't... I don't
know what her problem is.
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You feeling better, Bunch?
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Yeah.
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Hey, I'm sorry I...
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ruined your hot date.
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What? Nah, I left as
soon as you texted me.
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Actually, I never wanted
to be there to begin with.
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I should've said that right off the bat.
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Yeah, you should've.
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What about your hot dates next week?
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You have, like, eight.
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I made those up.
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Those were fake.
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All eight of them?
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Get out.
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It is my turn now.
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I have calmed down,
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I am ready to speak to Rebecca,
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so get out.
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Don't worry.
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Stepping out.
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♪ ♪
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I asked you a million times
who you were sleeping with,
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and you lied to me.
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And with Greg Serrano, of all people.
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After everything I've
done for your love story,
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to get you together with
Josh Chan, and you betray me
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by picking
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sarcastic, alcoholic, unromantic Greg?
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(Exhales)
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Whoa.
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Why are you still here?
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What... did you bring her flowers?
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Um, she's my friend,
she's in the hospital.
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That's what you do.
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What is that?
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You-you bought her a stupid balloon?
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No, no. No.
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This balloon is not stupid.
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It's genius.
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The messiah is riding a
unicorn over a rainbow.
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It's like the Turducken
of sympathy balloons.
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What are you even doing here?
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I said, I'm-I'm checking up on her.
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Dude, I know you two had
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a kind of momentary tongue connection,
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but Rebecca isn't into you anymore.
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She's... with me now.
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So maybe you should take those flowers
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back to your girlfriend,
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who you haven't been able to
commit to for over 15 years.
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Oh, don't turn this around on me.
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This is not about me and Valencia.
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Oh, okay. Sure.
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Fine, you give Rebecca these for me.
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But get used to me being her friend,
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because Rebecca and I are close.
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There's nothing you can do about that.
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She and I have a history,
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and whether you're with her or not,
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we're connected.
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Oh, uh-huh?
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Well, doesn't bother me
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and I don't care
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and it doesn't bother me,
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also a weird thing to say,
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and it doesn't bother me.
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Also, circling back,
you have a girlfriend.
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Say hi to your very patient girlfriend!
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(Sighs)
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Do you have any idea the
things that I have done for you?
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I have devoted my life to you.
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You have no idea
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the lengths that I have gone to.
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Take Thanksgiving, for example...
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You got me invited
to Josh's house, okay.
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Yes.
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How did I do that?
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How did you just magically
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bump into Josh's mother at the market?
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- Huh? Huh?
- I don't know.
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Rebecca, under Lourdes Chan's car
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is a tracking device that is keyed
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into a beeper in my desk at the office.
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I had to smuggle that
device in from Armenia.
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I know where that woman
is every hour of every day.
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- Whoa.
- Yeah.
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And that's just the tip of the iceberg.
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I have done things for you
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that you can't even imagine,
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things that would make your head spin.
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And I did it for you.
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No, no, I didn't ask you
to do any of those things.
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Don't talk... anymore!
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- (Low strings begin playing)
- Paula? What are you doing?
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Paula, why are you
shutting the doctors out?
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♪ Time for you to shut up! ♪
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(Orchestral sting)
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♪ Time for you to sit down! ♪
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(Orchestral sting)
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♪ Paula's tired ♪
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♪ of being your sidekick ♪
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♪ your henchman ♪
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♪ your eager ♪
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- (Orchestral sting)
- ♪ little ♪
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♪ clown ♪
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♪ after everything
I've done for you... ♪
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♪ That I didn't ask for! ♪
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♪ Do you have any idea
the work you're undoing? ♪
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♪ After everything
I've done for you ♪
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♪ that you didn't ask for ♪
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♪ let's just say Greg isn't
the only one you're screwing ♪
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Want to know all the
things I've done for you?
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♪ I broke into Josh's
old high school ♪
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♪ and made copies
of all his grades ♪
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♪ I "bumped into" Lourdes at Starbucks ♪
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♪ and suggested you
be a bridesmaid ♪
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♪ I blackmailed Valencia's boss ♪
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♪ so now I control
when she teaches ♪
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♪ that's right, I make
yoga class schedules ♪
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♪ there's no limit
to where my reach is ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ after everything
I've done for you ♪
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♪ that you didn't ask for ♪
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♪ God! Will your lies never end? ♪
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♪ After everything
I've done for you ♪
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♪ that you didn't ask for ♪
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♪ the least you can do is
be honest with your mother ♪
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♪ I mean, friend ♪
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♪ what's that look on your face? ♪
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♪ You're horrified ♪
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♪ you think I'm a monster ♪
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♪ for doing your dirty work ♪
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♪ you think love is
stainless and pure ♪
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♪ but beneath all the fantasy ♪
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♪ there's filth and there's gore ♪
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♪ so now it's ♪
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♪ time for me to walk out ♪
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(Orchestral sting)
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♪ Time for me to say no! ♪
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♪ Paula's tired of working
for no thanks at all ♪
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♪ Paula's ♪
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(Orchestral sting)
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♪ Gonna ♪
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(Orchestral sting)
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♪ Go... ♪
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♪ You're nothing without me ♪
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♪ and my creativity ♪
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♪ I created you ♪
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♪ you lived in my womb ♪
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♪ I mean, figuratively ♪
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♪ after everything
I've done for you ♪
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♪ I don't, I don't,
I don't know why ♪
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♪ so now ♪
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♪ I'm gonna say ♪
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♪ good-bye! ♪
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(Panting)
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If you think you're over Josh,
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you are fooling yourself.
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The other balloon options were
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"It's a boy" or "Suck it, cancer."
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You wouldn't have preferred
flowers, would you?
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What? No. No. I love flowers
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and I love ironic stick balloons.
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I love them both.
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Right, but you must love one
207
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more than the other, though, right?
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I mean, maybe you love
stick balloons a little bit,
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because you think they're
funny and charming, kind of,
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in an, uh, unthreatening way.
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But flowers, you, like,
love, 'cause they hold
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a special place in your heart
and have been there forever,
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and stick balloons should just give up
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because he's wasting his time?
215
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Hey, what-what-what's
wrong with you?
216
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Hmm? What? Aah!
217
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I'm fine. You're the one
who's all over the place.
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Really? How much morphine did I have?
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(Chuckles) You know what,
you've been through a lot.
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You're... you should rest. I'm gonna go.
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I'm gonna jet and I'm
gonna text you later.
222
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But... you could... (Sighs)
223
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Marco: Why did you freak out and leave?
224
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I don't know.
225
00:08:46,257 --> 00:08:48,123
After I saw Josh in the hospital,
226
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I realized she always goes back to him.
227
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I'm just the guy she settles for.
228
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Greg, she likes you. She chose you.
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You guys have sex 50 times a day.
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Why do... why do I
tell you those things?
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00:09:00,337 --> 00:09:02,371
Eh, you got issues, kid.
232
00:09:02,373 --> 00:09:03,572
Oh, it's awful.
233
00:09:03,574 --> 00:09:05,574
I... (Sighs) I can't care this much.
234
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Caring, on me, is very unattractive.
235
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It'll ruin everything.
236
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I chased after her for
months, no interest from her,
237
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I finally force myself to stop caring,
238
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and that's when she was into me.
239
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That's what she likes... The not caring.
240
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Oh, come on, this is embarrassing.
241
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This is fear talking.
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You're just afraid she's
gonna hurt you again.
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I know what I need to do.
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I need to be...
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Like, the uncaring bad boy.
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Oh, my God, you're an idiot.
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You can look now.
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I thought you weren't supposed
to wear white to a wedding.
249
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Technically it's ivory and
Jayma's dress is Alaskan Snow.
250
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Don't you already have
a bridesmaid's dress?
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(Laughs) I need a second
look for the reception.
252
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Don't be insane-brain.
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Also, I look amazing in this dress.
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I ordered some shoes, too,
255
00:09:58,359 --> 00:10:00,789
but they haven't come in.
I'm just trying to be patient.
256
00:10:01,172 --> 00:10:02,731
Patient, yeah.
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You're good at that.
258
00:10:04,349 --> 00:10:05,718
I am?
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With me.
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V, I know you want a commitment.
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Some women wouldn't have
put up with me this long.
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- What are you saying?
- I'm saying
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I'm not oblivious.
264
00:10:21,919 --> 00:10:24,055
I know what the next step is for us.
265
00:10:24,797 --> 00:10:26,388
I'm going to look for a ring.
266
00:10:26,390 --> 00:10:28,557
But I'm just asking you
267
00:10:28,559 --> 00:10:29,695
one thing.
268
00:10:30,164 --> 00:10:33,138
Just... let me do it in my own way.
269
00:10:33,313 --> 00:10:35,931
In my own time.
270
00:10:36,859 --> 00:10:38,000
Is that okay?
271
00:10:38,672 --> 00:10:39,693
Of course.
272
00:10:39,718 --> 00:10:41,651
Whatever you need.
273
00:10:47,011 --> 00:10:49,111
(Mouthing)
274
00:10:53,117 --> 00:10:54,883
Heather: You need to realize
275
00:10:54,908 --> 00:10:57,422
that "you up?" Is text
for "are you horny?"
276
00:10:57,734 --> 00:10:59,221
Okay, whatever, listen.
277
00:10:59,223 --> 00:11:00,722
I need to talk to somebody.
278
00:11:00,724 --> 00:11:02,324
And I'm in a huge fight with
my best friend right now,
279
00:11:02,326 --> 00:11:04,826
and without her I'm feeling
super insecure about Greg.
280
00:11:04,828 --> 00:11:07,062
Yeah, and since you know him super well,
281
00:11:07,064 --> 00:11:09,698
I don't know, I thought
you could help me out.
282
00:11:09,700 --> 00:11:12,234
So... what's the problem?
283
00:11:12,703 --> 00:11:14,608
I mean, I, of all people,
284
00:11:14,633 --> 00:11:16,171
know he digs you.
285
00:11:16,173 --> 00:11:17,739
Right, okay, but we
were in the hospital,
286
00:11:17,741 --> 00:11:19,174
and he was really sweet,
and then we got home,
287
00:11:19,176 --> 00:11:20,509
and he was, like, weird again.
288
00:11:20,511 --> 00:11:22,310
Yeah, that sounds like Greg.
289
00:11:22,492 --> 00:11:24,688
I mean, you know, he gets,
like, freaked about stuff.
290
00:11:25,249 --> 00:11:27,516
Plus, you have that
weird thing with Josh.
291
00:11:27,518 --> 00:11:28,225
So maybe...
292
00:11:28,250 --> 00:11:29,725
No, no, no, no. He knows
that's over, though.
293
00:11:29,750 --> 00:11:31,445
He knows that's done.
I want to be with him.
294
00:11:32,089 --> 00:11:34,022
We need to share how we
feel with the other...
295
00:11:34,024 --> 00:11:36,191
Yeah, we need, like, a moment, right?
296
00:11:36,193 --> 00:11:37,659
A moment, like, where the prince
297
00:11:37,661 --> 00:11:40,156
and princess pledge their troth.
298
00:11:40,555 --> 00:11:42,130
Feed their pigs?
299
00:11:42,132 --> 00:11:45,108
No, like, they-they
dance together at a ball.
300
00:11:45,133 --> 00:11:46,913
Or they kiss in a tower.
301
00:11:46,938 --> 00:11:49,313
They sail on a magic
carpet through the sky.
302
00:11:50,281 --> 00:11:51,405
I just want to look
303
00:11:51,430 --> 00:11:54,373
into Greg's eyes and,
you know, have a moment!
304
00:11:54,398 --> 00:11:55,343
It's the moment!
305
00:11:55,345 --> 00:11:56,967
It's like, oh, it's like
in that movie "Slumbered",
306
00:11:56,992 --> 00:11:59,347
when the princess wakes up
and then the song starts.
307
00:11:59,349 --> 00:12:02,017
You know... ♪ in one
indescribable instant ♪
308
00:12:02,019 --> 00:12:04,319
♪ the whole world falls away... ♪
309
00:12:04,321 --> 00:12:06,121
Oh, God, you're one of those girls.
310
00:12:06,328 --> 00:12:08,323
Okay, dude, so the moment you're craving
311
00:12:08,325 --> 00:12:10,792
isn't anchored in real emotion.
312
00:12:10,794 --> 00:12:12,494
It's a script dictated to you
313
00:12:12,496 --> 00:12:15,197
by our society's
patriarchal love narrative.
314
00:12:15,199 --> 00:12:16,965
Wow, that's fascinating.
Did you learn that in school?
315
00:12:16,967 --> 00:12:19,069
No, actually that's from
this month's Glamor.
316
00:12:19,094 --> 00:12:22,304
Look, just tell him how you feel.
317
00:12:22,742 --> 00:12:24,959
Say, "Dude, I dig you.
318
00:12:24,984 --> 00:12:26,541
I got the feels."
319
00:12:26,543 --> 00:12:29,478
I mean, angels don't have
to be singing or some crap.
320
00:12:29,672 --> 00:12:32,289
But just, like, be chill.
321
00:12:33,164 --> 00:12:34,295
(Knocking)
322
00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,733
Greg: Just remember
323
00:12:35,758 --> 00:12:37,584
I don't care.
324
00:12:37,609 --> 00:12:38,954
- Hey!
- Yo!
325
00:12:38,956 --> 00:12:40,255
What up? What up?
326
00:12:40,257 --> 00:12:41,256
I brought brew dogs!
327
00:12:41,451 --> 00:12:42,717
Yeah. Yeah.
328
00:12:42,742 --> 00:12:43,558
- Hi.
- Thanks.
329
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,227
- It's good... oh.
- Oh.
330
00:12:45,229 --> 00:12:46,428
That's fine. We're just hanging!
331
00:12:46,430 --> 00:12:47,937
It's fine. Oh...
332
00:12:47,962 --> 00:12:49,795
So I, uh, I just came over
333
00:12:49,820 --> 00:12:51,663
to, you know, like rap and hang out
334
00:12:51,688 --> 00:12:53,401
and talk about stuff.
335
00:12:53,403 --> 00:12:54,769
It doesn't even have to be
the primary activity, though.
336
00:12:54,771 --> 00:12:55,937
We can do other stuff
while we're talking.
337
00:12:55,939 --> 00:12:57,506
Do you, uh, do you want to watch TV?
338
00:12:57,508 --> 00:12:59,107
Yeah, sounds great.
339
00:12:59,109 --> 00:13:00,475
It's great.
340
00:13:00,477 --> 00:13:02,250
Turn it on.
341
00:13:02,583 --> 00:13:04,082
Oh, the way we were.
342
00:13:04,381 --> 00:13:05,847
I don't want to watch it. I'm sorry.
343
00:13:05,849 --> 00:13:08,450
I was just like saying, "oh,
it's the way we were, blah."
344
00:13:09,422 --> 00:13:11,066
There's a monster truck rally on.
345
00:13:12,784 --> 00:13:13,850
What do you think?
346
00:13:13,875 --> 00:13:15,357
That could be so bad it's awesome.
347
00:13:15,359 --> 00:13:16,825
Yeah, that's funny.
348
00:13:17,256 --> 00:13:18,488
It's really funny.
349
00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:23,391
Hey, um, so, so the
rea... The reason I-I,
350
00:13:23,563 --> 00:13:25,344
I came over, um, uh,
351
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:28,766
was I, uh, I wanted to
352
00:13:29,125 --> 00:13:30,906
(Southern accent): Tell you that I...
353
00:13:30,931 --> 00:13:32,796
(Sniffs) Did you fart?
354
00:13:33,329 --> 00:13:34,628
Yeah, I did.
355
00:13:34,653 --> 00:13:37,147
I, uh, ate a bean burrito
356
00:13:37,172 --> 00:13:38,694
out of the freezer from the '90s,
357
00:13:38,719 --> 00:13:39,981
'cause I don't care, and, uh,
358
00:13:40,275 --> 00:13:41,475
I have a candle... Do you want it?
359
00:13:41,500 --> 00:13:42,450
I have a triple wick. I can get it...
360
00:13:42,452 --> 00:13:43,718
I don't care, though.
361
00:13:43,720 --> 00:13:45,353
Nah, I don't care, I
mean, it's, you know,
362
00:13:45,398 --> 00:13:47,633
it's the body. The body makes things.
363
00:13:47,658 --> 00:13:48,690
- So I get it.
- I'm gonna, I'm gonna get it.
364
00:13:48,692 --> 00:13:50,158
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, just...
365
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:53,205
Cool, um... I'll probably
let one rip, too, 'cause...
366
00:13:53,230 --> 00:13:54,496
Farting is hilarious.
367
00:13:54,498 --> 00:13:56,711
It's classic humor. What's that?
368
00:14:00,180 --> 00:14:03,672
Oh, wow, it's Jayma's
wedding invitation.
369
00:14:03,674 --> 00:14:05,006
(Gasps)
370
00:14:05,008 --> 00:14:07,867
Gasp. How romantic.
371
00:14:08,844 --> 00:14:10,997
It's perfect.
372
00:14:11,949 --> 00:14:17,319
Little Rebecca: ♪ in one
indescribable instant ♪
373
00:14:17,321 --> 00:14:21,623
♪ the whole world falls away. ♪
374
00:14:21,625 --> 00:14:23,858
♪ ♪
375
00:14:29,922 --> 00:14:31,933
I found it. This one's extra strength.
376
00:14:31,935 --> 00:14:33,301
Should do the trick.
377
00:14:33,303 --> 00:14:34,769
So, what did you want to say?
378
00:14:40,390 --> 00:14:41,390
[Gasps]
379
00:14:41,735 --> 00:14:43,402
Oh, yeah. Did you get that invite?
380
00:14:43,404 --> 00:14:44,603
Are you going to Jayma's wedding?
381
00:14:44,605 --> 00:14:46,727
Y-yes.
382
00:14:46,752 --> 00:14:48,373
I was gonna ask if you were going,
383
00:14:48,375 --> 00:14:50,709
but I knew you were a
bridesmaid and then you weren't.
384
00:14:50,711 --> 00:14:53,078
- What happened there?
- Oh, it was nothing. It was just, like,
385
00:14:53,080 --> 00:14:54,113
a stupid clerical error.
386
00:14:54,115 --> 00:14:55,114
But, um, yeah,
387
00:14:55,116 --> 00:14:56,048
no, I'm-I'm definitely...
388
00:14:56,050 --> 00:14:56,891
definitely going. Sounds like a hoot.
389
00:14:56,916 --> 00:14:58,450
Um, hey, oh, my gosh,
390
00:14:58,452 --> 00:14:59,918
this just popped into my nogs.
391
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:01,720
Do you want to go... together?
392
00:15:01,722 --> 00:15:03,522
Yeah. No. Uh, s-sure.
393
00:15:03,524 --> 00:15:05,657
I don't care. We... I could, um...
394
00:15:05,659 --> 00:15:07,695
We could... we could go.
395
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,561
Great! So, let me... I'll just make sure
396
00:15:09,563 --> 00:15:11,016
I RSVP'd with Josh's Mom.
397
00:15:14,102 --> 00:15:15,501
Woman: Now,
398
00:15:15,503 --> 00:15:17,769
for my song, I need to be seated
399
00:15:17,771 --> 00:15:20,813
exactly 20 feet away, because
I have a 15-second intro.
400
00:15:20,838 --> 00:15:24,617
Myrna, this is my daughter's
wedding, not a gig at Pechanga.
401
00:15:24,642 --> 00:15:25,836
I'm her aunt.
402
00:15:25,861 --> 00:15:27,995
This is my gift to her.
403
00:15:28,020 --> 00:15:30,987
As God gifted me with my voice.
404
00:15:31,069 --> 00:15:34,504
Basically, I'm giving
her a gift from God.
405
00:15:34,529 --> 00:15:36,929
She's registered. She needs dish towels.
406
00:15:38,344 --> 00:15:39,691
Um,
407
00:15:39,938 --> 00:15:42,528
just so you know, there's a
408
00:15:42,530 --> 00:15:45,264
- small person staring at us.
- Oh, God,
409
00:15:45,266 --> 00:15:47,466
I think it's one of my
fans from Star Search.
410
00:15:47,468 --> 00:15:49,201
Yeah, that's probably it.
411
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:50,406
Oh, boy.
412
00:15:50,431 --> 00:15:52,037
Rebecca...
413
00:15:52,039 --> 00:15:53,805
- You know her?
- (Sighs)
414
00:15:53,807 --> 00:15:57,509
Mrs. Chan. (Stammers) What
an Uber-duber coinkydinky
415
00:15:57,511 --> 00:16:00,273
to run into you here. That's so funny.
416
00:16:00,298 --> 00:16:02,703
Stop. You're Josh's Aunt Myrna.
417
00:16:02,728 --> 00:16:04,728
I've heard so much about you.
418
00:16:04,952 --> 00:16:06,351
Mrs. Chan, it is so funny
419
00:16:06,353 --> 00:16:08,387
that I very coincidentally ran into you,
420
00:16:08,389 --> 00:16:10,822
because I, um... I actually
just-just bought Jayma
421
00:16:10,824 --> 00:16:12,291
a wedding present.
422
00:16:13,382 --> 00:16:14,949
(Gasps)
423
00:16:15,499 --> 00:16:19,467
You got the Iladro cherub on a peacock?
424
00:16:19,570 --> 00:16:23,072
This retails for $2,499.
425
00:16:23,586 --> 00:16:25,604
You are an angel.
426
00:16:25,606 --> 00:16:27,606
Thank you. You know,
427
00:16:27,608 --> 00:16:29,808
I'm really glad that
I, again, coincidentally
428
00:16:29,810 --> 00:16:32,344
ran into you, because I've been
wanting to talk to you about
429
00:16:32,346 --> 00:16:33,645
what happened with
Jayma's wedding dress.
430
00:16:33,647 --> 00:16:35,314
Yes, that was unfortunate.
431
00:16:35,316 --> 00:16:37,849
But I know you didn't
do it, Rebecca. (Exhales)
432
00:16:37,851 --> 00:16:40,485
Valencia was involved, and, with her,
433
00:16:40,487 --> 00:16:42,656
things tend to get complicated.
434
00:16:42,681 --> 00:16:45,289
Ate, that's not very nice.
435
00:16:45,381 --> 00:16:47,914
Valencia is a wonderful girl.
436
00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:52,813
Anyway, so if you could
give this to Jayma for me...
437
00:16:54,023 --> 00:16:55,563
I have a better idea.
438
00:16:55,687 --> 00:16:57,087
Deliver it yourself.
439
00:16:57,112 --> 00:16:59,312
Why don't you come to the wedding?
440
00:16:59,813 --> 00:17:01,306
Okay!
441
00:17:01,308 --> 00:17:04,391
(Chuckling) That would
be great. Thank you!
442
00:17:12,620 --> 00:17:15,254
Hey! Hey, hey, hey. Guess
what. I have great news.
443
00:17:15,279 --> 00:17:16,478
So, I used your Armenian tracking device
444
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:19,671
to follow Lourdes, and
it worked like a dream.
445
00:17:19,696 --> 00:17:21,996
Let me tell you what happened.
So, I tracked Lourdes down
446
00:17:22,062 --> 00:17:23,295
at Boba, and I got
447
00:17:23,297 --> 00:17:24,396
re-invited to Jayma's wedding.
448
00:17:24,398 --> 00:17:26,231
So now I can go with Greg
449
00:17:26,233 --> 00:17:28,433
and we can have a moment
and share our feelings
450
00:17:28,435 --> 00:17:30,736
and our relationship can
begin. So I wanted to tell you
451
00:17:30,738 --> 00:17:32,445
Greg stuff can be really
fun and sneaky, too!
452
00:17:36,459 --> 00:17:37,648
Come on!
453
00:17:37,673 --> 00:17:39,945
(Whining): Just take me back.
454
00:17:39,947 --> 00:17:42,125
Come on. Please, let's go have a donut.
455
00:17:42,449 --> 00:17:44,328
Right? Let's go have a donut hole.
456
00:17:44,652 --> 00:17:46,718
Let's go have a donut
hole shoved into a donut.
457
00:17:46,720 --> 00:17:48,539
I thought of a name for
it... It's called a whole-nut.
458
00:17:52,069 --> 00:17:54,000
No, Paula, it's a whole-nut.
459
00:17:54,495 --> 00:17:55,859
A whole-nut.
460
00:17:59,926 --> 00:18:02,026
(Sighs)
461
00:18:06,394 --> 00:18:08,961
I'm looking for something
really pretty, Moshe.
462
00:18:09,276 --> 00:18:11,352
It's gonna be a very special evening.
463
00:18:12,344 --> 00:18:13,695
The start of a love story.
464
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,820
Ah, how wonderful.
465
00:18:16,201 --> 00:18:19,202
So, have you, uh, found your bashert?
466
00:18:19,859 --> 00:18:22,154
Your soul mate. Your destiny.
467
00:18:22,156 --> 00:18:23,906
Have you... Have you found him yet?
468
00:18:24,325 --> 00:18:25,773
Have I found my soul mate?
469
00:18:26,260 --> 00:18:29,027
- Have I found my s...
- (Door opens)
470
00:18:30,064 --> 00:18:31,563
Josh.
471
00:18:31,565 --> 00:18:33,365
Rebecca, you're-you're, uh...
472
00:18:33,367 --> 00:18:35,719
(Clears throat) Back from the hospital.
473
00:18:36,370 --> 00:18:38,136
Y-you feeling better?
474
00:18:38,364 --> 00:18:39,961
Yeah. Thank you.
475
00:18:42,695 --> 00:18:44,509
You're back, Mr. Chan.
476
00:18:44,644 --> 00:18:46,244
You want to see the engagement rings
477
00:18:46,269 --> 00:18:48,302
you were looking at before?
478
00:18:49,891 --> 00:18:52,148
Engagement rings. Wow.
479
00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:55,088
Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, just...
480
00:18:55,622 --> 00:18:59,435
- Been thinkin' about it. It's time.
- Mm-hmm.
481
00:18:59,460 --> 00:19:01,242
That's really...
482
00:19:01,510 --> 00:19:03,644
Great and romantic. Congratulations.
483
00:19:03,669 --> 00:19:05,744
Congratulations. Oh, my God.
Congratulations.
484
00:19:05,769 --> 00:19:11,103
Yeah. So, uh, what are
you doing here? (Chuckles)
485
00:19:11,105 --> 00:19:12,671
Right. I'm getting earrings,
486
00:19:12,673 --> 00:19:14,473
uh, for your sister's wedding, actually.
487
00:19:14,475 --> 00:19:15,972
- Yeah.
- I'm going. I'm, um... I'm going...
488
00:19:15,997 --> 00:19:16,775
Oh. Yeah. Right.
489
00:19:16,777 --> 00:19:18,510
Um, uh, well, I'm going with-with Greg.
490
00:19:18,512 --> 00:19:20,379
Right. Yeah. Great. Of
course. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
491
00:19:20,381 --> 00:19:22,013
(Scoffs)
492
00:19:24,934 --> 00:19:26,742
Wow, those are really beautiful.
493
00:19:28,392 --> 00:19:30,258
Like something out of a fairy tale.
494
00:19:33,465 --> 00:19:38,000
Oy vey. What, what's
with these sad faces?
495
00:19:39,602 --> 00:19:42,701
My best to you and
Valencia both and always.
496
00:19:42,703 --> 00:19:44,770
Thank you. I-I also give to you
497
00:19:44,772 --> 00:19:47,266
and all of yours also my-my best.
498
00:19:48,156 --> 00:19:49,109
Okay. Yeah.
499
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:59,993
So, you ready to make a choice?
500
00:20:08,446 --> 00:20:10,679
Well, Becky, today's the day.
501
00:20:11,906 --> 00:20:14,108
Today you are gonna tell Greg
502
00:20:14,133 --> 00:20:15,842
that you want to start a life together,
503
00:20:15,867 --> 00:20:17,353
and it's gonna be perfect.
504
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,874
God, pep talks into a mirror do nothing
505
00:20:20,899 --> 00:20:22,227
but enhance the loneliness.
506
00:20:22,252 --> 00:20:25,044
(Chirping)
507
00:20:25,069 --> 00:20:27,336
Well, hello, Mr. Love Bird!
508
00:20:27,454 --> 00:20:29,888
Are you here to help me
get ready for the ball?
509
00:20:29,913 --> 00:20:32,006
_
510
00:20:32,031 --> 00:20:34,922
(Gasps) You are? Well, that's lovely.
511
00:20:34,947 --> 00:20:36,438
And I'm so glad you're here.
512
00:20:36,481 --> 00:20:37,914
Because today
513
00:20:37,916 --> 00:20:40,149
I'm gonna declare my love to a prince,
514
00:20:40,151 --> 00:20:42,485
and it's gonna
be oh-so-romantic.
515
00:20:42,487 --> 00:20:44,406
A perfect moment.
516
00:20:45,469 --> 00:20:50,293
(Off-key): ♪ in one
indescribable instant ♪
517
00:20:50,295 --> 00:20:54,000
♪ the whole world falls away ♪
518
00:20:54,025 --> 00:20:56,319
_
519
00:20:56,344 --> 00:20:57,410
♪ in... ♪
520
00:20:57,435 --> 00:20:58,935
Greg: Rebecca!
521
00:20:58,937 --> 00:21:00,297
Who you talking to?
522
00:21:00,322 --> 00:21:03,806
No one! Who are you... Talking to?
523
00:21:03,808 --> 00:21:05,675
(Clears throat)
524
00:21:05,677 --> 00:21:08,110
(Humming)
525
00:21:10,348 --> 00:21:13,282
And now, the kingdom of Scarsdale
526
00:21:13,284 --> 00:21:15,618
presents the beautiful daughter
527
00:21:15,620 --> 00:21:17,641
of Silas and Naomi Bunch...
528
00:21:18,438 --> 00:21:19,578
Me!
529
00:21:21,726 --> 00:21:23,993
Okay, so just-just imagine
I'm, like, floating,
530
00:21:23,995 --> 00:21:25,428
like, on a pillow of magic.
531
00:21:25,430 --> 00:21:27,734
And there are men with trumpets
lining the walkway.
532
00:21:27,758 --> 00:21:28,523
Wow.
533
00:21:28,548 --> 00:21:30,014
It's the movie "Slumbered". It's fine.
534
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,523
I, uh...
535
00:21:32,336 --> 00:21:34,670
I don't... know what to say.
536
00:21:34,695 --> 00:21:36,161
Am I overdressed? Is this too... ?
537
00:21:36,186 --> 00:21:38,019
- I don't know. Is this too much?
- No.
538
00:21:38,209 --> 00:21:39,500
You look all right.
539
00:21:41,338 --> 00:21:42,671
All right. Okay.
540
00:21:42,696 --> 00:21:44,313
I will take that.
541
00:21:46,438 --> 00:21:48,417
Oh. You're wearing sneakers?
542
00:21:48,419 --> 00:21:51,287
Yeah, well, I didn't know
you were gonna get all fancy.
543
00:21:51,289 --> 00:21:52,992
I didn't know it was gonna
be like a whole thing.
544
00:21:53,282 --> 00:21:56,669
Um, yeah. No, it's a
wedding, uh, but I should have
545
00:21:56,694 --> 00:21:57,960
been clearer, so it's fine.
546
00:21:57,962 --> 00:21:59,262
Let's go. It'll be so fun,
547
00:21:59,264 --> 00:22:00,763
and you'll say nice things there.
548
00:22:00,765 --> 00:22:02,164
Okay, I'm gonna float out.
549
00:22:02,166 --> 00:22:04,766
Floating out, floating out.
550
00:22:05,503 --> 00:22:08,204
(Crowd chatter)
551
00:22:08,206 --> 00:22:12,108
It was... oh, that ceremony...
It was so beautiful.
552
00:22:12,110 --> 00:22:14,484
I cried so much. I just love weddings.
553
00:22:14,509 --> 00:22:17,516
Of course you do, you
poor unmarried thing.
554
00:22:17,541 --> 00:22:18,516
Josh,
555
00:22:18,541 --> 00:22:21,008
when are you gonna put a ring
on this lovely girl's finger?
556
00:22:27,734 --> 00:22:30,159
Oh, my God, this is lovely.
557
00:22:30,161 --> 00:22:31,627
Yeah, I guess.
558
00:22:31,629 --> 00:22:33,219
No. Isn't it romantic?
559
00:22:33,244 --> 00:22:34,398
I don't know.
560
00:22:34,859 --> 00:22:37,258
If you think about it,
it's kind of the epitome
561
00:22:37,283 --> 00:22:38,945
of Southern California pastiche.
562
00:22:38,970 --> 00:22:41,070
A chain hotel with vaguely French decor,
563
00:22:41,072 --> 00:22:43,973
and Italian food is
being served tapas-style
564
00:22:43,975 --> 00:22:46,175
while a Filipino girl
is marrying a Jewish guy,
565
00:22:46,177 --> 00:22:49,812
all with a lightly Arabian
nights-style wedding.
566
00:22:49,814 --> 00:22:53,416
What was this Pinterest board
called: Ironic juxtaposition?
567
00:22:53,418 --> 00:22:55,451
I like that kind of mélange.
568
00:22:56,328 --> 00:22:57,386
We're way too sober for this wedding.
569
00:22:57,388 --> 00:22:59,221
How about I get us some shots?
570
00:22:59,223 --> 00:23:01,090
- Okay.
- Okay. Hold on.
571
00:23:01,092 --> 00:23:03,659
Okay. Shots. I mean, I
could also go for champagne,
572
00:23:03,661 --> 00:23:05,477
but shots are funny, too. Okay.
573
00:23:05,502 --> 00:23:07,201
I love this.
574
00:23:07,473 --> 00:23:09,507
A chain hotel with French decor
575
00:23:09,532 --> 00:23:11,465
and Italian food served tapas-style
576
00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:13,790
while a Filipino girl
marries a Jewish guy
577
00:23:13,815 --> 00:23:16,172
in a lightly Arabian
nights-style wedding.
578
00:23:16,574 --> 00:23:18,341
It is so romantic.
579
00:23:18,343 --> 00:23:20,000
Sure we're supposed to
be wearing tuxes, dude?
580
00:23:20,178 --> 00:23:22,778
We are here to celebrate love,
581
00:23:23,008 --> 00:23:25,881
and we're gonna do that
at a ten, am I right?
582
00:23:25,883 --> 00:23:27,850
- Yeah. Yeah!
- Mm-hmm.
583
00:23:27,852 --> 00:23:29,266
Yeah. We're fancy.
584
00:23:29,291 --> 00:23:31,424
Deal with it.
585
00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:36,559
Hey.
586
00:23:36,561 --> 00:23:37,827
Hey.
587
00:23:38,008 --> 00:23:39,554
Wow.
588
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:41,289
Look at you.
589
00:23:41,314 --> 00:23:43,948
Oh, yeah. I don't know. Do
you think it's a bit much?
590
00:23:44,175 --> 00:23:46,208
No. You look amazing.
591
00:23:47,522 --> 00:23:49,266
Like a princess.
592
00:23:51,867 --> 00:23:54,061
Look, this is none of my business,
593
00:23:54,086 --> 00:23:55,411
but I have to say something.
594
00:23:55,413 --> 00:23:57,780
If you get mad at me, I understand.
595
00:23:57,782 --> 00:23:59,281
Okay.
596
00:23:59,283 --> 00:24:01,517
Are you sure Greg is what you want?
597
00:24:01,519 --> 00:24:02,852
I mean, he's so sarcastic
598
00:24:02,854 --> 00:24:04,954
and dark, and you're not that.
599
00:24:04,956 --> 00:24:06,016
You're sweet.
600
00:24:06,041 --> 00:24:07,823
Um, Josh...
601
00:24:07,825 --> 00:24:09,992
I'm just afraid you're
going to get hurt.
602
00:24:09,994 --> 00:24:11,427
I've known Greg since I was five,
603
00:24:11,429 --> 00:24:13,863
and I love the dude,
but he's complicated.
604
00:24:13,865 --> 00:24:15,564
He quits on things as
soon as they get hard.
605
00:24:15,566 --> 00:24:17,466
Did you know he wanted to be
606
00:24:17,468 --> 00:24:18,711
a professional dodge ball player?
607
00:24:18,736 --> 00:24:21,270
And then we're not even allowed
to ask him about that now.
608
00:24:23,754 --> 00:24:27,155
♪ ♪
609
00:24:28,674 --> 00:24:32,008
I'm just afraid there will be
a moment when he lets you down.
610
00:24:32,151 --> 00:24:34,293
He's gonna disappoint you somehow.
611
00:24:34,318 --> 00:24:35,684
I-I feel it.
612
00:24:35,686 --> 00:24:38,821
That's very sweet of you, but I'm okay.
613
00:24:38,823 --> 00:24:40,617
I'm okay. I-I know what I'm doing.
614
00:24:40,992 --> 00:24:42,352
Okay.
615
00:24:44,061 --> 00:24:46,555
- That's all I wanted to say.
- Okay.
616
00:24:53,540 --> 00:24:54,873
I'm back.
617
00:24:54,898 --> 00:24:57,432
Anything, uh, interesting
happen while I was away?
618
00:24:57,457 --> 00:25:02,088
Uh, no. As soon as they open
the ballroom, let's cut a rug?
619
00:25:02,113 --> 00:25:04,380
(Sighs) Yeah, I'm not
so much of a dancer.
620
00:25:04,382 --> 00:25:05,815
I'm more of an I-hate-dancing.
621
00:25:05,817 --> 00:25:08,484
Let's do a shot and then
let's go dance, okay?
622
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:10,853
Okay.
623
00:25:11,228 --> 00:25:12,656
(Door opens)
624
00:25:19,477 --> 00:25:20,729
Okay, come on.
625
00:25:20,731 --> 00:25:24,667
Please? Just one? Come on.
626
00:25:24,669 --> 00:25:26,302
It'll be fun.
627
00:25:26,304 --> 00:25:27,803
Oh, that's really pretty.
628
00:25:27,805 --> 00:25:30,639
Oh, this is so...
lovely. (Sighs heavily)
629
00:25:31,359 --> 00:25:33,710
(Sighs)
630
00:25:34,007 --> 00:25:35,440
- All right.
- Shall we?
631
00:25:35,465 --> 00:25:37,932
- You ready for this?
- I'm so ready.
632
00:25:38,349 --> 00:25:40,416
- Oh.
- And... dip.
633
00:25:40,418 --> 00:25:42,618
- And dip.
- Okay.
634
00:25:42,620 --> 00:25:43,819
- And dip.
- Okay.
635
00:25:43,821 --> 00:25:45,621
- And another dip.
- No!
636
00:25:45,623 --> 00:25:47,423
Okay. Okay. No, that's fun.
637
00:25:47,425 --> 00:25:49,091
That's really funny,
but let's dance for...
638
00:25:49,093 --> 00:25:50,326
Let's dance for real now.
639
00:25:50,328 --> 00:25:51,827
Oh, you want the real stuff?
640
00:25:51,829 --> 00:25:53,696
- I... I do.
- Oh... ss... !
641
00:25:53,698 --> 00:25:55,965
Look, I'm sizzling bacon.
642
00:25:55,967 --> 00:25:57,933
- Ss...
- I'm sorry. I...
643
00:25:57,935 --> 00:26:00,236
You know, just stop, stop, stop. I...
644
00:26:00,238 --> 00:26:02,471
Let's really dance,
dude. Please. Come on.
645
00:26:02,473 --> 00:26:04,328
Please? For me?
646
00:26:08,086 --> 00:26:10,379
Thank you. That's better.
647
00:26:10,381 --> 00:26:11,981
(Sighs)
648
00:26:14,414 --> 00:26:17,586
Look, there's been something
I want to say to you tonight.
649
00:26:18,537 --> 00:26:20,523
And that's...
650
00:26:20,525 --> 00:26:23,259
DJ: Ladies and gentlemen, thank
you for joining us this evening!
651
00:26:23,261 --> 00:26:25,327
It is my pleasure to introduce to you...
652
00:26:25,329 --> 00:26:27,696
Phillip and Jayma dancing
for the very first time
653
00:26:27,698 --> 00:26:29,899
- as Mr. and Mrs. Epstein!
- (Applause and cheering)
654
00:26:33,170 --> 00:26:35,337
(Upbeat big band song playing)
655
00:26:40,611 --> 00:26:42,745
♪ This is a happy... ♪
656
00:26:43,595 --> 00:26:46,496
- That's so cute.
- It's so corny.
657
00:26:46,521 --> 00:26:48,559
No! It's two people in
love, and they're dancing.
658
00:26:48,584 --> 00:26:50,129
What's wrong with that?
659
00:26:50,154 --> 00:26:51,954
DJ: Now everyone please
join the bride and groom
660
00:26:51,956 --> 00:26:53,656
- on the dance floor.
- What's up with you tonight?
661
00:26:53,658 --> 00:26:55,124
You're, like, extra
snarky for no reason.
662
00:26:55,693 --> 00:26:57,596
Guess I'm just a bad boy.
663
00:26:57,764 --> 00:27:00,095
- ♪ This is the moment... ♪
- What?
664
00:27:00,097 --> 00:27:02,164
(Sighs)
665
00:27:02,166 --> 00:27:04,733
Yeah, I'm sorry. I-I'm...
I'm-I'm trying...
666
00:27:04,735 --> 00:27:06,235
What are you trying to do?
667
00:27:06,237 --> 00:27:07,536
What... what is all this?
668
00:27:07,538 --> 00:27:08,904
You know what? You're right.
669
00:27:10,115 --> 00:27:11,740
Let's dance for real.
670
00:27:11,742 --> 00:27:13,584
- Let's show off your dress. Come on.
- Oh.
671
00:27:14,111 --> 00:27:18,847
♪ This is the day for you and I... ♪
672
00:27:21,021 --> 00:27:24,115
DJ: And now the groomsmen have a
surprise for the special couple.
673
00:27:24,422 --> 00:27:26,188
- There's a lot of events.
- (Sighs)
674
00:27:26,190 --> 00:27:29,191
(Rhythmic percussion playing)
675
00:27:29,193 --> 00:27:31,226
What is this? Oh, my God.
676
00:27:31,228 --> 00:27:34,697
(Instrumental dance song with
middle eastern flavor plays)
677
00:27:35,700 --> 00:27:37,499
How funny is this?
678
00:27:37,501 --> 00:27:39,635
It's really funny.
679
00:27:39,637 --> 00:27:41,770
(Laughs)
680
00:27:55,736 --> 00:27:58,670
Sorry. Tell Janice I'm sorry.
681
00:28:07,514 --> 00:28:09,365
Hey, multiple Aladdins!
682
00:28:09,849 --> 00:28:11,700
You're not really hovering!
683
00:28:11,702 --> 00:28:13,264
I can see your wheels!
684
00:28:30,311 --> 00:28:32,912
(Clicking)
685
00:28:42,724 --> 00:28:45,364
Hoverboard dancing is not dancing.
686
00:28:45,389 --> 00:28:48,190
- Their feet are frozen.
- Mm-hmm.
687
00:28:48,192 --> 00:28:52,027
You take the board away, mainly
what they're doing is leaning.
688
00:28:52,029 --> 00:28:54,730
It's synch... it's
synchronized leaning, basically.
689
00:28:54,732 --> 00:28:56,265
Yeah, well, you couldn't do it.
690
00:28:56,267 --> 00:28:58,734
Yeah, well, I couldn't
shake your hand with my foot,
691
00:28:58,736 --> 00:29:00,636
or... but you don't want that.
692
00:29:02,037 --> 00:29:04,039
You're not really making a lot of sense.
693
00:29:04,041 --> 00:29:07,068
- Amn't I?
- No. You am not.
694
00:29:07,717 --> 00:29:09,712
What is going on with you, dude?
695
00:29:09,714 --> 00:29:11,113
What does that mean?
696
00:29:11,529 --> 00:29:13,382
Well, your date is
over there by herself,
697
00:29:13,407 --> 00:29:17,309
and you're here by yourself
getting, like, plowed.
698
00:29:19,076 --> 00:29:21,090
Okay. (Doorbell rings)
699
00:29:21,092 --> 00:29:22,458
(Sighs)
700
00:29:22,460 --> 00:29:24,059
Put on some kind of dress.
701
00:29:24,061 --> 00:29:25,761
- What?!
- We're going to a wedding.
702
00:29:25,763 --> 00:29:26,962
Have you lost your mind?
703
00:29:26,964 --> 00:29:29,798
Rebecca is sad. She needs you.
704
00:29:29,800 --> 00:29:32,996
We're not friends anymore, okay?
And it's her fault. All right.
705
00:29:32,998 --> 00:29:34,614
I did everything for her.
706
00:29:34,639 --> 00:29:37,334
I gave her the best advice,
and she chose to ignore it.
707
00:29:37,475 --> 00:29:39,375
So, I mean, I was the great friend.
708
00:29:39,377 --> 00:29:40,709
Oh, my God, are you serious?
709
00:29:40,711 --> 00:29:42,077
You think that's what a friend is?
710
00:29:42,079 --> 00:29:43,412
Someone who tells you what to do?
711
00:29:43,414 --> 00:29:45,014
That is not friendship.
712
00:29:45,016 --> 00:29:46,115
I'd never do that to you.
713
00:29:46,117 --> 00:29:48,584
And, Paula, you and I are best friends!
714
00:29:48,632 --> 00:29:50,395
- (Laughs)
- What?
715
00:29:50,959 --> 00:29:53,022
Oh, yeah. No. Yes, we are.
716
00:29:53,024 --> 00:29:54,356
Yes, we are.
717
00:29:54,358 --> 00:29:56,258
Now go get your dress
on and let's boogie.
718
00:29:56,260 --> 00:29:58,294
(Sighs)
719
00:29:58,296 --> 00:30:00,429
(Crowd chatter)
720
00:30:03,012 --> 00:30:05,146
(Sighing)
721
00:30:10,709 --> 00:30:12,574
You're not having the
best time, are you?
722
00:30:12,646 --> 00:30:14,138
I don't know what's wrong with me.
723
00:30:15,490 --> 00:30:17,346
You're at a crossroads.
724
00:30:17,881 --> 00:30:19,178
I see that.
725
00:30:20,904 --> 00:30:22,451
And I think I can help.
726
00:30:22,920 --> 00:30:24,520
You can?
727
00:30:27,758 --> 00:30:29,592
This belonged to your grandma.
728
00:30:30,982 --> 00:30:33,131
It would be perfect on Valencia.
729
00:30:34,482 --> 00:30:35,810
Whenever you're ready.
730
00:30:36,529 --> 00:30:38,904
Wow! Tita Myrna,
731
00:30:40,115 --> 00:30:41,597
I... I don't know what to say.
732
00:30:41,622 --> 00:30:43,506
It's nice of you to...
733
00:30:53,302 --> 00:30:56,560
Wait. Did Valencia put you up to this?
734
00:31:06,248 --> 00:31:07,948
I am so sorry.
735
00:31:07,973 --> 00:31:09,598
- I am so sorry.
- No, I am so sorry.
736
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,400
- This is all my fault.
- It's all my fault.
737
00:31:11,402 --> 00:31:12,464
No, I wanted to tell you
about Greg so many times.
738
00:31:12,489 --> 00:31:13,502
I should have been a better friend.
739
00:31:13,504 --> 00:31:15,170
- I was racked with guilt.
- I should have just listened to you.
740
00:31:15,172 --> 00:31:16,805
- Every time I saw you, I wanted to tell
you everything. - And I felt so bad.
741
00:31:16,807 --> 00:31:18,307
Every time I saw your name,
I wanted to pick up the phone.
742
00:31:18,309 --> 00:31:19,641
- I've been having so much sex.
- You look like a princess.
743
00:31:19,643 --> 00:31:21,262
- Oh, my God, you look like a princess.
- You look beautiful.
744
00:31:21,287 --> 00:31:22,418
You look like a sea
princess and you're, like,
745
00:31:22,443 --> 00:31:23,412
- wearing a necklace with crabs.
- I feel so bad.
746
00:31:23,414 --> 00:31:24,613
And I wish I'd been with you
to buy that crab necklace.
747
00:31:24,615 --> 00:31:26,448
- I should have been better.
- You're my daughter,
748
00:31:26,450 --> 00:31:27,494
and I should have
been a better mother.
749
00:31:27,519 --> 00:31:28,617
Oh, my God, I feel
like you're my Mom.
750
00:31:28,619 --> 00:31:30,686
So I just thought this was
gonna be mine and Greg's
751
00:31:30,688 --> 00:31:31,954
romantic evening, and, oh, I'm sorry.
752
00:31:31,956 --> 00:31:33,959
I know you don't want
to hear about this.
753
00:31:33,984 --> 00:31:37,619
Hey, I'm not telling you what to
do anymore. I am done with that.
754
00:31:38,420 --> 00:31:40,529
But if you really like Greg,
you should tell him right away.
755
00:31:40,531 --> 00:31:41,764
I mean, don't waste a single second.
756
00:31:41,766 --> 00:31:43,198
I'm sorry, that was advice-y.
757
00:31:43,200 --> 00:31:44,990
No, it's okay, I liked it.
758
00:31:45,872 --> 00:31:47,161
Thank you.
759
00:31:49,140 --> 00:31:50,672
I love you, Paula.
760
00:31:50,674 --> 00:31:52,178
I love you, too.
761
00:31:53,644 --> 00:31:55,044
Okay, you called my aunt
762
00:31:55,046 --> 00:31:57,212
and asked her to bring a family heirloom
763
00:31:57,214 --> 00:31:59,815
to my sister's wedding
without asking me?
764
00:31:59,817 --> 00:32:02,384
Well, I knew she had it and
would love to give it to us
765
00:32:02,386 --> 00:32:04,853
and I wanted to get it
before your cousin Ruby.
766
00:32:04,855 --> 00:32:07,156
Oh, my God, Valencia!
767
00:32:07,158 --> 00:32:08,991
You didn't have any faith in me.
768
00:32:08,993 --> 00:32:11,764
Y-you couldn't trust
me with this one thing.
769
00:32:11,962 --> 00:32:14,063
I just asked for a
little time, that's all.
770
00:32:14,065 --> 00:32:15,297
A little time, I see.
771
00:32:15,299 --> 00:32:17,466
Because 15 years isn't enough time.
772
00:32:17,468 --> 00:32:20,135
I was looking. For rings.
773
00:32:20,137 --> 00:32:21,437
And did you buy one?
774
00:32:23,407 --> 00:32:26,275
You know what, I have been patient.
775
00:32:26,277 --> 00:32:28,911
I have been patient through
college and through New York
776
00:32:28,913 --> 00:32:31,580
and through all of our
friends getting engaged
777
00:32:31,582 --> 00:32:33,282
and married and I was patient
778
00:32:33,284 --> 00:32:35,384
when you cheated on me with Rebecca.
779
00:32:37,178 --> 00:32:39,688
The reason I asked for that
ring is because, deep down,
780
00:32:39,690 --> 00:32:41,560
I didn't believe you were gonna do it.
781
00:32:42,500 --> 00:32:44,233
Were you going to?
782
00:32:45,903 --> 00:32:47,396
You have a ring.
783
00:32:48,217 --> 00:32:49,898
In your hand.
784
00:32:50,154 --> 00:32:52,167
You said that you were
ready for the next step,
785
00:32:52,169 --> 00:32:53,902
so let's do it.
786
00:32:54,123 --> 00:32:56,438
Let's take that ring and
get up on the bandstand
787
00:32:56,440 --> 00:32:59,374
and steal some wedding thunder
and get engaged right now.
788
00:32:59,376 --> 00:33:01,210
(Scoffs)
789
00:33:01,719 --> 00:33:02,990
You're not listening to me.
790
00:33:06,498 --> 00:33:08,451
You never listen to me. You...
791
00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,076
You pretend to, but...
792
00:33:12,423 --> 00:33:13,553
You never do.
793
00:33:14,195 --> 00:33:15,685
You know,
794
00:33:16,631 --> 00:33:17,826
for the last few months
795
00:33:17,828 --> 00:33:20,506
I thought Rebecca Bunch was our problem.
796
00:33:20,842 --> 00:33:21,951
But it's not.
797
00:33:22,923 --> 00:33:24,623
It's you.
798
00:33:25,985 --> 00:33:29,506
I'm done, Josh. We're over. For good.
799
00:33:33,777 --> 00:33:36,478
Hey. Hey, I want to talk to you.
800
00:33:36,614 --> 00:33:37,756
So...
801
00:33:39,326 --> 00:33:42,050
Tonight's gotten... Pretty off track.
802
00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:45,754
Like, this isn't us.
This isn't how we are.
803
00:33:45,756 --> 00:33:48,639
And... and I think it's my fault.
804
00:33:48,893 --> 00:33:51,026
Yeah, because I had an artificial view
805
00:33:51,028 --> 00:33:52,895
of how I wanted this night to go.
806
00:33:52,897 --> 00:33:56,192
No, it's my fault. It's
my fault. It's my fault.
807
00:33:56,217 --> 00:33:57,799
I should not have worn sneakers tonight.
808
00:33:57,801 --> 00:34:00,910
Justin Timberlake wore
sneakers with a suit
809
00:34:00,935 --> 00:34:03,402
and I thought I was
cool, but I'm no JTimbo.
810
00:34:05,342 --> 00:34:07,381
You're hilariously wasted.
811
00:34:08,568 --> 00:34:09,545
I know
812
00:34:09,547 --> 00:34:11,068
what you want to say to me.
813
00:34:11,893 --> 00:34:14,060
You want to break up with me.
814
00:34:20,100 --> 00:34:21,943
Break up with you? Oh, my...
815
00:34:22,836 --> 00:34:24,569
No. Greg, okay.
816
00:34:25,412 --> 00:34:26,638
Listen...
817
00:34:27,607 --> 00:34:31,217
This, like, this emotion
stuff can be scary.
818
00:34:32,068 --> 00:34:33,848
My parents split up when I was little,
819
00:34:33,873 --> 00:34:36,592
your Mom left, we don't have
the greatest role models here.
820
00:34:37,631 --> 00:34:40,090
But... there's been something
821
00:34:40,115 --> 00:34:42,092
I've been wanting to tell you all night.
822
00:34:42,428 --> 00:34:45,434
And... even though it
scares me to death,
823
00:34:45,459 --> 00:34:46,910
I'm gonna be brave.
824
00:34:48,130 --> 00:34:49,300
So, uh,
825
00:34:50,006 --> 00:34:52,497
even though we've only
been seeing each other
826
00:34:52,499 --> 00:34:54,466
for a short time...
827
00:34:55,170 --> 00:34:56,368
I, um...
828
00:34:57,373 --> 00:34:58,803
I care about you.
829
00:34:59,890 --> 00:35:02,092
Like, a lot.
830
00:35:13,006 --> 00:35:14,287
So, tell me...
831
00:35:14,312 --> 00:35:17,555
Tell me how you feel. If
you have any feelings. And...
832
00:35:18,287 --> 00:35:20,371
I don't care how you
tell me, Greg, okay?
833
00:35:20,396 --> 00:35:22,631
I don't care if you fart
while you're saying it,
834
00:35:22,656 --> 00:35:24,389
just please tell me.
835
00:35:34,217 --> 00:35:36,451
Can you say something?
836
00:35:37,154 --> 00:35:38,053
Okay.
837
00:35:38,055 --> 00:35:40,974
I... think...
838
00:35:42,757 --> 00:35:43,873
... you're cool.
839
00:35:44,821 --> 00:35:46,247
You...
840
00:35:47,464 --> 00:35:49,497
Sorry, after, like,
everything we've been through,
841
00:35:49,499 --> 00:35:51,420
you just, you just think I'm cool?
842
00:35:51,784 --> 00:35:53,622
Yeah. I think...
843
00:35:54,204 --> 00:35:56,338
We have fun together, yeah.
844
00:35:56,340 --> 00:35:57,428
But let's not...
845
00:35:58,875 --> 00:36:00,724
Like, plan out our future.
846
00:36:01,289 --> 00:36:03,756
Let's just focus on, um...
847
00:36:04,336 --> 00:36:06,503
On tonight and have fun, okay?
848
00:36:07,456 --> 00:36:08,701
Wait, what?
849
00:36:12,943 --> 00:36:15,389
Uh, but right now I, um...
850
00:36:16,536 --> 00:36:19,604
I need to... I need to take
a... I need to take a nap.
851
00:36:20,397 --> 00:36:21,451
Greg?
852
00:36:23,607 --> 00:36:26,801
Greg? Hey. Hey, Greg?
853
00:36:26,803 --> 00:36:29,521
Ah, yes, the classic Serrano pass-out.
854
00:36:29,546 --> 00:36:31,413
I'll get him an Uber.
855
00:36:31,675 --> 00:36:33,141
Um, yeah, and I'll go with you.
856
00:36:33,143 --> 00:36:35,176
No, you will not. You stay
here. You don't want to see
857
00:36:35,178 --> 00:36:36,544
what's on the other side of this.
858
00:36:36,725 --> 00:36:38,552
War movie.
859
00:36:40,044 --> 00:36:42,377
I'm sorry he blew it.
860
00:36:43,209 --> 00:36:44,568
I know that he cares, but...
861
00:36:45,480 --> 00:36:48,014
It's Greg, it's just who he is.
862
00:36:54,982 --> 00:36:57,599
Hey, everybody, time to get inside.
863
00:36:57,601 --> 00:36:58,967
Aunt Myrna's going to sing.
864
00:36:58,969 --> 00:37:00,068
(Applause)
865
00:37:00,070 --> 00:37:04,172
DJ: Ladies and gentlemen, Aunt Myrna.
866
00:37:05,513 --> 00:37:08,496
Oh, my gosh. Oh, hello, everyone.
867
00:37:08,521 --> 00:37:10,412
I would like to dedicate this song
868
00:37:10,414 --> 00:37:11,746
to Jayma
869
00:37:11,748 --> 00:37:14,049
and Phillip. You may
already know this one.
870
00:37:14,051 --> 00:37:17,919
I sang this on Star Search in 1984
871
00:37:18,568 --> 00:37:20,912
and I got 3 3/4 stars.
872
00:37:21,511 --> 00:37:23,849
She's just the worst.
873
00:37:26,428 --> 00:37:29,301
♪ In one indescribable ♪
874
00:37:29,326 --> 00:37:31,208
♪ instant ♪
875
00:37:31,233 --> 00:37:32,966
♪ the whole world ♪
876
00:37:32,968 --> 00:37:35,635
♪ falls away ♪
877
00:37:35,637 --> 00:37:38,004
♪ in one ♪
878
00:37:38,006 --> 00:37:41,404
♪ indescribable instant ♪
879
00:37:41,472 --> 00:37:43,387
♪ you'll know just ♪
880
00:37:43,412 --> 00:37:46,379
♪ what to say ♪
881
00:37:46,381 --> 00:37:47,580
♪ in one ♪
882
00:37:47,582 --> 00:37:51,418
♪ indescribable instant ♪
883
00:37:51,420 --> 00:37:52,919
♪ your heart ♪
884
00:37:52,921 --> 00:37:55,955
♪ will speak the truth ♪
885
00:37:55,957 --> 00:37:57,157
♪ 'cause in that ♪
886
00:37:57,159 --> 00:37:59,392
♪ one indescribable ♪
887
00:37:59,394 --> 00:38:01,381
♪ magical, mystical ♪
888
00:38:01,406 --> 00:38:03,406
♪ endless, incredible ♪
889
00:38:03,431 --> 00:38:05,698
♪ instant ♪
890
00:38:05,874 --> 00:38:07,607
♪ the only words ♪
891
00:38:07,632 --> 00:38:09,951
♪ you'll need are ♪
892
00:38:09,976 --> 00:38:15,693
♪ "I love you" ♪
893
00:38:18,589 --> 00:38:20,482
♪ ♪
894
00:38:20,506 --> 00:38:22,506
_
895
00:38:40,202 --> 00:38:42,735
Come with me.
896
00:38:52,450 --> 00:38:53,875
It's over.
897
00:38:54,096 --> 00:38:55,595
What?
898
00:38:55,620 --> 00:38:58,121
Rebecca, Valencia and I are done.
899
00:39:00,473 --> 00:39:04,147
Becks, I have tried
not to think about you.
900
00:39:04,172 --> 00:39:05,672
I have.
901
00:39:05,784 --> 00:39:07,851
You have no idea how hard I've tried.
902
00:39:07,876 --> 00:39:09,809
Just, no matter what I do...
903
00:39:10,718 --> 00:39:12,617
I feel you with me.
904
00:39:15,850 --> 00:39:17,208
(Gasps)
905
00:39:18,071 --> 00:39:20,451
Oh, my God, it's my letter from camp.
906
00:39:22,230 --> 00:39:24,998
You keep this with
you, like, all the time?
907
00:39:25,023 --> 00:39:27,185
Look, I know you're with Greg, but...
908
00:39:27,225 --> 00:39:28,303
Stop.
909
00:39:37,022 --> 00:39:39,289
♪ In one indescribable ♪
910
00:39:39,291 --> 00:39:42,259
♪ instant ♪
911
00:39:42,261 --> 00:39:44,261
♪ there is no time ♪
912
00:39:44,263 --> 00:39:46,597
♪ or space ♪
913
00:39:46,599 --> 00:39:50,167
♪ in one indescribable ♪
914
00:39:50,169 --> 00:39:52,002
♪ instant ♪
915
00:39:52,004 --> 00:39:56,006
♪ it all falls into place ♪
916
00:39:56,008 --> 00:39:59,509
♪ in one indescribable ♪
917
00:39:59,511 --> 00:40:01,078
♪ instant ♪
918
00:40:01,080 --> 00:40:02,913
♪ your dreams ♪
919
00:40:02,915 --> 00:40:05,916
♪ will all come true ♪
920
00:40:05,918 --> 00:40:07,417
♪ 'cause in that ♪
921
00:40:07,419 --> 00:40:09,786
♪ one indescribable ♪
922
00:40:09,788 --> 00:40:12,022
♪ magical, mystical ♪
923
00:40:12,024 --> 00:40:14,458
♪ endless, incredible ♪
924
00:40:14,460 --> 00:40:15,926
♪ barely believable ♪
925
00:40:15,928 --> 00:40:18,996
♪ truly unlikely ♪
926
00:40:18,998 --> 00:40:22,165
♪ but not inconceivable ♪
927
00:40:22,167 --> 00:40:24,668
♪ what, are you kidding me ♪
928
00:40:24,670 --> 00:40:27,070
♪ no, it's for realable ♪
929
00:40:27,072 --> 00:40:30,506
♪ instant ♪
930
00:40:31,795 --> 00:40:33,810
♪ the only words ♪
931
00:40:33,812 --> 00:40:36,079
♪ you'll need are ♪
932
00:40:37,154 --> 00:40:40,220
♪ "I love ♪
933
00:40:40,771 --> 00:40:53,834
♪ you... " ♪
934
00:40:54,133 --> 00:40:55,756
(Song ends)
935
00:40:57,043 --> 00:40:58,865
I love you, Rebecca.
936
00:41:00,141 --> 00:41:02,443
I should have said "I love you."
937
00:41:03,102 --> 00:41:05,169
(Retches, coughs)
938
00:41:13,256 --> 00:41:15,256
Hey, Josh?
939
00:41:15,281 --> 00:41:16,842
(Short chuckle) Yeah, Becks?
940
00:41:17,456 --> 00:41:19,107
Can I tell you something?
941
00:41:19,668 --> 00:41:21,295
Yeah.
942
00:41:22,628 --> 00:41:24,498
I moved here for you.
943
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:27,131
What?
944
00:41:28,067 --> 00:41:31,310
The second I saw you on the
street in New York, I knew.
945
00:41:31,603 --> 00:41:34,943
I j... I just knew you were
the answer to all my problems.
946
00:41:35,943 --> 00:41:37,874
And I lost sight of it for a minute,
947
00:41:37,876 --> 00:41:39,584
but now I know for sure.
948
00:41:41,342 --> 00:41:42,913
Mmm.
949
00:41:42,915 --> 00:41:44,959
This is our moment, Josh Chan.
950
00:41:46,852 --> 00:41:50,454
I'm so excited that our
love story can finally begin.
951
00:41:55,295 --> 00:42:00,217
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --