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00:00:02,928 --> 00:00:05,699
Have you ever noticed there
are no female cereal mascots?
2
00:00:06,046 --> 00:00:08,738
How does eating cereal
become a feminist issue?
3
00:00:10,875 --> 00:00:16,277
There's Tony the Tiger; Toucan Sam;
Snap, Crackle, and Pop; Captain Crunch.
4
00:00:16,279 --> 00:00:18,219
What about Fruity
Pebbles? Pebbles is a girl.
5
00:00:18,548 --> 00:00:20,715
Nice try, but Fred and
Barney are on the box.
6
00:00:23,052 --> 00:00:24,440
What do you want from me?
7
00:00:28,024 --> 00:00:29,238
Dad, what are you doing here?
8
00:00:29,658 --> 00:00:31,042
That's a greeting?
9
00:00:31,227 --> 00:00:33,127
No "Hello, Dad, nice to see you"?
10
00:00:33,129 --> 00:00:34,395
Hello, Dad, nice...
11
00:00:34,397 --> 00:00:35,603
Now it's too late.
12
00:00:37,766 --> 00:00:39,533
We've got a hankering for lemonade.
13
00:00:39,535 --> 00:00:41,861
You've always got this
weird bowl full of lemons
14
00:00:41,886 --> 00:00:43,856
just sitting here doing jack squat.
15
00:00:44,339 --> 00:00:46,136
You never use them.
16
00:00:46,161 --> 00:00:49,912
Not once have we tasted a dish in
this house that had a lemon flavor.
17
00:00:50,847 --> 00:00:52,283
Just take 'em.
18
00:00:53,631 --> 00:00:56,653
Oh, my God, I just got a job
interview at the Weisman Space Center!
19
00:00:56,678 --> 00:00:58,978
- Oh, congratulations, sweetheart.
- Fantastic.
20
00:00:59,003 --> 00:01:02,664
I'll be honest; I never got
this ladies-in-space stuff
21
00:01:02,689 --> 00:01:05,207
until I saw Sandy
Bullock in that "Gravity."
22
00:01:06,961 --> 00:01:09,320
But I think she handled
herself real well.
23
00:01:11,866 --> 00:01:14,986
I've always wanted to work at
the Weisman. I'm so excited!
24
00:01:15,441 --> 00:01:16,641
Oh, no.
25
00:01:17,338 --> 00:01:19,517
I can already feel the sleep
I'm not gonna get tonight.
26
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I should have slept more last night;
27
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but if I'd known, I
wouldn't have slept at all.
28
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What if I screw it up?
Then I'll never sleep.
29
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Knowing you, you'll get the
job, you're gonna do great,
30
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and you're gonna win a Nobel Prize.
31
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I do have my speech ready.
32
00:01:32,786 --> 00:01:34,886
But what if it sounds over-rehearsed?
33
00:01:34,888 --> 00:01:36,255
What if it's too long?
34
00:01:36,257 --> 00:01:38,990
What if they play me off with
that weird Norwegian award music?
35
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The point is, we're taking the
lemons. Come on, Alice. Let's go.
36
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So, viewers, this is my kitchen.
37
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There's my nerdy sister.
38
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There's my giant dad.
39
00:01:53,139 --> 00:01:55,378
- Wave to the camera, Dad.
- No.
40
00:01:56,777 --> 00:01:58,412
Classic Dad.
41
00:01:59,195 --> 00:02:01,741
- Tell me what's happening.
- Stella's got a YouTube channel.
42
00:02:01,766 --> 00:02:04,259
I'm giving Mom an on-camera
makeover for your date tonight.
43
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My fans are very excited.
44
00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:08,608
I took this from Sephora.
45
00:02:08,633 --> 00:02:11,456
You can also buy it, but
that's more expensive.
46
00:02:13,282 --> 00:02:16,255
Oop! Purse spill, BRB.
47
00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:18,080
What's with all the pills?
48
00:02:18,105 --> 00:02:19,371
Just the usual.
49
00:02:19,396 --> 00:02:20,989
Birth control.
50
00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:24,394
Plan B in case I forget
to take my birth control.
51
00:02:25,004 --> 00:02:26,536
Oh, and my actress pills.
52
00:02:26,538 --> 00:02:29,450
I have an antianxiety prescription
to help me with auditions.
53
00:02:29,475 --> 00:02:31,308
Now you have an anxiety problem?
54
00:02:31,310 --> 00:02:34,137
Not after a glass of Pinot
and two of these bad boys.
55
00:02:34,946 --> 00:02:36,217
What is this one?
56
00:02:36,242 --> 00:02:37,447
It's Viagra.
57
00:02:37,449 --> 00:02:39,383
Way to act like you didn't know, Dad.
58
00:02:40,304 --> 00:02:42,252
You dating some super-old guy?
59
00:02:42,254 --> 00:02:45,321
And if you are, can he
marry you and pay your bills?
60
00:02:47,058 --> 00:02:49,749
Lots of young guys take
Viagra as a party drug.
61
00:02:49,774 --> 00:02:51,805
They say it's even more
fun when you don't need it.
62
00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:55,331
Anyway, it's not mine; I'm
holding it for a friend.
63
00:02:55,333 --> 00:02:58,903
Whoa, that's the first time
I've said that and it was true.
64
00:03:02,789 --> 00:03:04,555
Oh, she missed one.
65
00:03:04,808 --> 00:03:06,434
It's an antianxiety pill.
66
00:03:06,744 --> 00:03:08,400
You know, I do have that job interview.
67
00:03:08,746 --> 00:03:10,679
Maybe I should take it
to smooth out my edges.
68
00:03:10,681 --> 00:03:13,055
I don't think taking
floor pills is the answer.
69
00:03:14,161 --> 00:03:17,471
Look, your mother is a therapist.
Why don't you go talk to her?
70
00:03:17,496 --> 00:03:20,202
I'll do that, and I'll
give this back to Stella.
71
00:03:22,564 --> 00:03:24,094
On the one hand, I should be able to
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00:03:24,119 --> 00:03:26,617
deal with my stress
without taking this pill.
73
00:03:26,642 --> 00:03:28,416
On the other hand,
74
00:03:28,799 --> 00:03:30,090
I just took it.
75
00:03:30,787 --> 00:03:32,025
Uh... ooh...
76
00:03:52,961 --> 00:03:56,604
Sync & corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com
77
00:03:57,264 --> 00:03:58,574
Oh, hey, sweetie!
78
00:03:59,328 --> 00:04:00,895
Come look at my makeover.
79
00:04:00,897 --> 00:04:02,531
Aw, Mom.
80
00:04:03,265 --> 00:04:05,197
You're such a pretty mom.
81
00:04:06,803 --> 00:04:09,078
So, so pretty.
82
00:04:10,573 --> 00:04:12,201
Pretty, pretty Mom.
83
00:04:13,569 --> 00:04:15,976
Wow, thank you, honey.
84
00:04:16,178 --> 00:04:19,371
Dad tells me you're nervous
about your job interview.
85
00:04:19,396 --> 00:04:22,549
Just remember, keep your
shoulders loose; don't turtle.
86
00:04:22,574 --> 00:04:25,063
Aww, turtles.
87
00:04:26,054 --> 00:04:27,802
And don't forget I'm a resource.
88
00:04:27,827 --> 00:04:30,637
Helping anxious people is exactly the
kind of thing I went to school for,
89
00:04:30,662 --> 00:04:33,179
- so people should take advantage of...
- Okay, bye-bye.
90
00:04:35,248 --> 00:04:37,396
Look at you. Stella did a great job.
91
00:04:37,398 --> 00:04:41,872
I know! Some YouTube
commenter named ILoveMILFs...
92
00:04:42,780 --> 00:04:45,571
made a comment so filthy,
it was in violation
93
00:04:45,573 --> 00:04:48,431
of their Terms of Service
policy. Isn't that sweet?
94
00:04:48,876 --> 00:04:50,077
Congratulations.
95
00:04:50,102 --> 00:04:53,289
On a related topic, a
recreational party enhancer
96
00:04:53,314 --> 00:04:55,603
happens to have fallen into my hands.
97
00:04:55,856 --> 00:04:57,770
What did Stella give you?
98
00:04:57,885 --> 00:05:00,918
She didn't give it to me. She
dropped it and I found it. But...
99
00:05:00,943 --> 00:05:05,932
turns out it's not just for old couples
in side-by-side outdoor bathtubs.
100
00:05:05,957 --> 00:05:08,396
But, honey, you don't need it.
101
00:05:08,796 --> 00:05:11,232
I know, but what if
it makes me 22 again?
102
00:05:11,510 --> 00:05:18,555
Mm, to be honest, I remember 22-year-old
Mike as energetic but unschooled.
103
00:05:20,203 --> 00:05:23,666
Because he didn't have the knowledge
and technique of modern-day Mike.
104
00:05:23,691 --> 00:05:24,891
Think about it.
105
00:05:25,111 --> 00:05:27,774
Experienced, thoughtful Mike up here,
106
00:05:28,382 --> 00:05:30,599
22-year-old Mike down below.
107
00:05:34,654 --> 00:05:37,354
Like some kind of mythological beast.
108
00:05:39,959 --> 00:05:41,675
I'm rethinking my opposition.
109
00:05:41,700 --> 00:05:43,294
Good, because I already took it.
110
00:05:44,884 --> 00:05:46,203
Wow.
111
00:05:46,532 --> 00:05:48,132
Wow.
112
00:05:48,530 --> 00:05:51,800
The beast is no longer... mythological.
113
00:05:59,341 --> 00:06:03,022
So why did you insist we go up in
your chopper? What's the big mystery?
114
00:06:03,047 --> 00:06:05,608
Well, I want to talk about something...
115
00:06:05,968 --> 00:06:08,833
something that I'm not
comfortable talking about on Earth.
116
00:06:11,343 --> 00:06:13,100
Plus, this way, if it
gets really awkward,
117
00:06:13,125 --> 00:06:15,503
I can crash into some
rocks and kill us both.
118
00:06:16,506 --> 00:06:17,706
So what is it?
119
00:06:18,183 --> 00:06:20,683
It's just... uh...
120
00:06:20,685 --> 00:06:22,485
have you ever had to ask your doctor
121
00:06:22,487 --> 00:06:24,530
if you were healthy enough for sex?
122
00:06:25,153 --> 00:06:28,233
What the hell kind of relationship
do you think I have with my doctor?
123
00:06:30,562 --> 00:06:34,464
Have you ever needed to chemically
assist your intimate performance?
124
00:06:34,466 --> 00:06:37,816
Just come right out with it or
crash us into those rocks down there.
125
00:06:37,841 --> 00:06:39,908
Your call. I'm good either way.
126
00:06:41,639 --> 00:06:43,372
Do you use Viagra?
127
00:06:43,374 --> 00:06:44,722
No, I don't.
128
00:06:44,842 --> 00:06:46,992
Nice talk. Take us down.
129
00:06:47,374 --> 00:06:49,130
'Cause I tried one just for fun.
130
00:06:49,155 --> 00:06:51,872
I was hoping I could borrow a
couple from you, but never mind.
131
00:06:51,897 --> 00:06:53,812
So was it fun?
132
00:06:53,837 --> 00:06:57,329
- Yeah, it was like I was 22 again.
- Hmm.
133
00:06:57,477 --> 00:07:01,079
Okay, son, I think I
know what you need to do.
134
00:07:01,104 --> 00:07:02,334
Oh, yeah, what is that, Dad?
135
00:07:02,359 --> 00:07:03,615
Get me some.
136
00:07:04,452 --> 00:07:06,292
I'd like to be 22 again.
137
00:07:07,148 --> 00:07:10,026
Big Swinging Bob was
something to be reckoned with.
138
00:07:15,759 --> 00:07:17,886
Wow, so he doesn't need anything.
139
00:07:17,911 --> 00:07:20,475
At his age, impressive.
140
00:07:20,693 --> 00:07:21,893
Please...
141
00:07:22,144 --> 00:07:26,124
please, stop being impressed
by my father's sexual prowess.
142
00:07:27,850 --> 00:07:31,615
Honey, don't be so sensitive.
We took it once for fun.
143
00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,933
- You don't need it either.
- Of course not, but it was fun, though.
144
00:07:34,958 --> 00:07:36,475
It made me feel young again.
145
00:07:36,692 --> 00:07:38,717
Made me feel young again too.
146
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:43,673
Maybe we should do
it just one more time,
147
00:07:43,842 --> 00:07:45,099
relive our youth.
148
00:07:45,124 --> 00:07:46,625
But you'd have to get a prescription.
149
00:07:46,835 --> 00:07:49,419
Not really. Stella's room is like a CVS.
150
00:07:52,107 --> 00:07:54,419
Mike, we shouldn't invade
her privacy like that.
151
00:07:54,444 --> 00:07:57,344
Well, she invaded our privacy
first by moving back in.
152
00:07:57,792 --> 00:07:59,712
We're actually doing a
service for the community.
153
00:07:59,714 --> 00:08:01,185
We're taking drugs off the street.
154
00:08:02,450 --> 00:08:04,382
And putting them in your body.
155
00:08:04,407 --> 00:08:06,282
It's recycling. We're going green.
156
00:08:13,036 --> 00:08:16,166
Oh, my God! Grandma's ring.
157
00:08:16,235 --> 00:08:18,724
Didn't we tell the insurance
company that was stolen?
158
00:08:19,181 --> 00:08:22,150
Well, it technically was... by Stella.
159
00:08:22,287 --> 00:08:24,494
Ah, jackpot.
160
00:08:24,883 --> 00:08:27,452
I knew having kids
would pay off one day.
161
00:08:30,410 --> 00:08:32,657
- What are you guys doing here?
- Um...
162
00:08:34,782 --> 00:08:37,227
- So this is the load-bearing wall.
- Oh!
163
00:08:38,625 --> 00:08:40,595
What are you doing here, Shea?
164
00:08:41,053 --> 00:08:45,091
I was just looking for
one of, uh, Stella's, uh,
165
00:08:45,116 --> 00:08:46,710
antianxiety pills!
166
00:08:46,735 --> 00:08:47,935
Yeah, that's it!
167
00:08:51,398 --> 00:08:52,696
Wait, that is it.
168
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:01,362
Well, well, well, what do we have here?
169
00:09:01,740 --> 00:09:02,949
Open the hands.
170
00:09:04,476 --> 00:09:06,148
My anxiety pills.
171
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,064
Let's see it, big guy.
172
00:09:10,215 --> 00:09:11,456
Viagra.
173
00:09:13,719 --> 00:09:15,109
Grandma's ring.
174
00:09:15,921 --> 00:09:18,802
I mean, oh, my God, you
found Grandma's ring!
175
00:09:19,191 --> 00:09:20,497
Score!
176
00:09:22,639 --> 00:09:26,082
Stella, I just needed the pills for
this job interview I have coming up.
177
00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,894
There's no way they're gonna
hire anxious, stressed-out Shea.
178
00:09:29,067 --> 00:09:30,867
But mellow Shea has a shot.
179
00:09:30,869 --> 00:09:32,214
Look, honey, you're an adult.
180
00:09:32,239 --> 00:09:34,497
If you want to take those
pills, you can, but...
181
00:09:34,522 --> 00:09:36,605
it's safer to get a
prescription for them.
182
00:09:36,607 --> 00:09:38,826
Wouldn't it be safer for you
guys to get a prescription?
183
00:09:38,851 --> 00:09:40,684
She's got us beat. Let's
make a break for it.
184
00:09:40,709 --> 00:09:41,909
Listen...
185
00:09:43,490 --> 00:09:45,744
You didn't have to steal the pills.
186
00:09:45,769 --> 00:09:47,468
You could have bought them from me.
187
00:09:49,032 --> 00:09:51,860
Look, young lady, we need
to have a talk about drugs...
188
00:09:51,954 --> 00:09:55,076
maybe another time, when we're
not stealing them from you, but...
189
00:09:56,477 --> 00:09:57,854
it's coming.
190
00:09:59,029 --> 00:10:00,628
Hey, we're family.
191
00:10:00,630 --> 00:10:02,171
First taste is free.
192
00:10:06,303 --> 00:10:09,101
Don't be ashamed, Dad. A
lot of older guys need it.
193
00:10:09,459 --> 00:10:10,904
I don't need it. Like you said,
194
00:10:10,929 --> 00:10:13,832
it's a party drug that a
lot of young people use.
195
00:10:15,212 --> 00:10:17,001
Also, I need one for Grandpa.
196
00:10:23,637 --> 00:10:25,549
Well, that was the last pill.
197
00:10:26,034 --> 00:10:27,603
The last pill.
198
00:10:28,191 --> 00:10:30,340
Say good-bye to the beast.
199
00:10:32,461 --> 00:10:34,742
- You're okay with that?
- Yeah, of course.
200
00:10:34,767 --> 00:10:37,722
- Well, okay.
- I mean, things were fine,
201
00:10:38,211 --> 00:10:42,211
and then we had, you
know, the pill experience,
202
00:10:42,236 --> 00:10:44,248
and now we go back to things being fine.
203
00:10:46,109 --> 00:10:47,504
You know what it is, Mike?
204
00:10:47,529 --> 00:10:51,201
It's like that time we got bumped
up from coach to first class.
205
00:10:51,203 --> 00:10:55,584
That was awesome. They
greeted us with champagne.
206
00:10:55,609 --> 00:10:59,352
Yeah, how about that
chilled lobster appetizer?
207
00:10:59,354 --> 00:11:01,254
Oh, it was better than
the food at our wedding.
208
00:11:01,256 --> 00:11:02,456
Yeah.
209
00:11:04,389 --> 00:11:05,696
What was our point, again?
210
00:11:07,334 --> 00:11:09,230
Oh, yeah, we're going back to coach.
211
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:15,413
But in coach, you still
get to where you want to go.
212
00:11:15,537 --> 00:11:17,568
And isn't getting there together,
213
00:11:17,940 --> 00:11:20,211
or within a minute or two of each other,
214
00:11:22,159 --> 00:11:24,654
the whole point of
flying in the first place?
215
00:11:25,513 --> 00:11:28,181
Exactly. We're gonna be great.
216
00:11:28,206 --> 00:11:30,591
We're gonna be better than great.
217
00:11:46,050 --> 00:11:51,754
So you're saying Mike took Viagra
you loved it, but now you're worried.
218
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:52,979
Yes.
219
00:11:53,102 --> 00:11:59,263
Well, Bob took Viagra, I loved it,
and I ain't complaining about [bleep].
220
00:12:06,861 --> 00:12:08,178
I'm just a little nervous
221
00:12:08,203 --> 00:12:10,800
about how things are gonna go
the next time we're together.
222
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:14,601
It's like if we hadn't taken the pill,
223
00:12:14,603 --> 00:12:17,011
we wouldn't know what
we've been missing.
224
00:12:17,239 --> 00:12:22,529
So now I wish I could
unknow what I know, you know?
225
00:12:24,578 --> 00:12:27,015
- I'm right there with you.
- Shea!
226
00:12:27,381 --> 00:12:28,914
How long have you been there?
227
00:12:28,916 --> 00:12:30,391
Too long, really.
228
00:12:32,754 --> 00:12:34,987
I couldn't find a good entry into the
229
00:12:35,012 --> 00:12:37,737
"my dad and grandpa are
taking Viagra so they can
230
00:12:37,762 --> 00:12:40,651
give it to my mom and grandma
real good" conversation.
231
00:12:44,521 --> 00:12:46,633
Talk about wanting to
unknow what you know.
232
00:12:48,764 --> 00:12:50,302
Honey, what's going on?
233
00:12:50,471 --> 00:12:53,968
I'm also conflicted about the
morals of pharmaceutical enhancement.
234
00:12:54,107 --> 00:12:56,507
I have a pill that
might help me get a job,
235
00:12:56,509 --> 00:12:58,452
but if I get that job, did I get it,
236
00:12:58,477 --> 00:13:00,845
or did some chemically
aided version of me get it?
237
00:13:00,847 --> 00:13:02,666
And how can I feel good about that?
238
00:13:03,223 --> 00:13:04,550
That's not a rhetorical question;
239
00:13:04,575 --> 00:13:07,370
tell me how I can feel good about
it, because I really want that job.
240
00:13:07,698 --> 00:13:10,050
You guys, crisis.
241
00:13:10,075 --> 00:13:13,229
I promised myself I wouldn't read
the comments on my YouTube channel,
242
00:13:13,254 --> 00:13:15,909
and then I did, and now
I just wish I hadn't.
243
00:13:15,934 --> 00:13:19,012
I know haters gonna hate, and I
know I'm supposed to shake it off.
244
00:13:21,653 --> 00:13:24,479
But how? How? She doesn't tell you how!
245
00:13:26,472 --> 00:13:28,995
Okay, that's it!
246
00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:33,373
You, either like the sex
you have or get the pills.
247
00:13:33,398 --> 00:13:38,743
You, either trust that they'll like
the person you are or take the pills.
248
00:13:40,853 --> 00:13:45,599
And you, I can't believe you're
the one whose problem isn't pills.
249
00:13:49,965 --> 00:13:52,426
I'm beginning to like this new system.
250
00:13:52,764 --> 00:13:54,964
I feel like I can say anything up here.
251
00:13:54,966 --> 00:13:58,057
Like, damn it, I'm gonna
miss "Downton Abbey."
252
00:13:59,734 --> 00:14:01,904
Even that stuff with Mr. Bates?
253
00:14:01,906 --> 00:14:04,344
I didn't say it was
a perfect show, Mike!
254
00:14:05,609 --> 00:14:08,311
Anyway, I want to thank
you for giving me that pill.
255
00:14:08,313 --> 00:14:11,080
The thing is, I... I'd like some more.
256
00:14:11,082 --> 00:14:12,915
Sorry, but my source dried up.
257
00:14:12,917 --> 00:14:15,784
You don't understand,
Mike. I can't go back.
258
00:14:15,786 --> 00:14:17,518
Alice is a new woman.
259
00:14:17,543 --> 00:14:19,651
This morning, she made me real bacon.
260
00:14:19,824 --> 00:14:22,349
Real bacon, Mike, not
that turkey [bleep].
261
00:14:23,308 --> 00:14:25,322
- I'd love to help you, Dad...
- I need it, Mike!
262
00:14:25,347 --> 00:14:27,778
I need it bad! I'm
chasing the dragon here!
263
00:14:28,730 --> 00:14:30,384
Settle down, Dad!
264
00:14:30,409 --> 00:14:33,298
Neither of us was using
before, and things were good.
265
00:14:33,323 --> 00:14:36,180
You're not nervous about
going into battle unarmed?
266
00:14:36,205 --> 00:14:37,562
Because I am!
267
00:14:37,587 --> 00:14:41,512
I don't want Alice to give me that
"don't worry, it's fine" speech.
268
00:14:42,668 --> 00:14:44,581
I hate the "don't
worry, it's fine" speech.
269
00:14:44,606 --> 00:14:46,819
I was there. I know things weren't fine.
270
00:14:47,816 --> 00:14:51,353
Look, the bottom line is,
I don't have any more pills.
271
00:14:51,378 --> 00:14:53,287
You got to get a
prescription from your doctor.
272
00:14:53,289 --> 00:14:56,648
My doctor? I'm not telling
that handsy bastard about this.
273
00:14:58,494 --> 00:15:01,288
Well, that's your only option.
They're about $10 a pill.
274
00:15:01,313 --> 00:15:02,757
$10?
275
00:15:02,915 --> 00:15:05,464
I haven't paid that much
for sex since Saigon.
276
00:15:07,685 --> 00:15:09,648
And I had to talk her down.
277
00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:11,976
What?
278
00:15:12,131 --> 00:15:15,083
You always ask me to talk about
the war; I'm talking about it.
279
00:15:27,555 --> 00:15:30,470
- Look, Mike...
- I don't need a recap.
280
00:15:30,495 --> 00:15:32,592
I know that was coach sex.
281
00:15:33,494 --> 00:15:35,428
Don't worry. It's fine.
282
00:15:36,672 --> 00:15:38,531
Oh, come... we're just...
283
00:15:40,535 --> 00:15:42,822
We're just putting too
much pressure on ourselves.
284
00:15:42,847 --> 00:15:45,541
We just have to get out of
our heads. Let's watch some TV.
285
00:15:45,566 --> 00:15:47,541
Mm-hm, Mets are playing.
286
00:15:47,874 --> 00:15:51,196
And it's a swing and a miss for Johnson.
287
00:15:51,979 --> 00:15:57,186
Oh, what a letdown. Usually,
he's one of the team's big bats.
288
00:15:58,052 --> 00:16:01,923
He cannot feel good about
tonight's performance.
289
00:16:04,291 --> 00:16:05,493
Too soon.
290
00:16:12,275 --> 00:16:14,810
Well, so it's come to this:
I'm in the parking garage
291
00:16:14,835 --> 00:16:18,043
of a doctor's office, waiting
to get a prescription for Viagra.
292
00:16:20,194 --> 00:16:21,599
I mean, what's next? Hearing aids?
293
00:16:21,624 --> 00:16:24,038
That little chair that
rides up and down the stairs?
294
00:16:25,069 --> 00:16:27,312
Ooh, I've always wanted one of those.
295
00:16:28,125 --> 00:16:29,849
They do look like fun, huh?
296
00:16:31,361 --> 00:16:33,845
You know, from now on when they
ask what prescriptions I take,
297
00:16:33,870 --> 00:16:35,663
I'm gonna have to list this.
298
00:16:35,698 --> 00:16:38,512
I'm gonna have to put it
on forms, Martina. Forms!
299
00:16:38,537 --> 00:16:42,702
Okay, let's try to chill
out. Take some deep breaths.
300
00:16:43,873 --> 00:16:45,277
Listen to some music.
301
00:16:45,302 --> 00:16:47,312
Um, I'll put on a relaxation CD.
302
00:16:47,337 --> 00:16:50,254
But not that whale songs
one. It makes me sad.
303
00:16:50,279 --> 00:16:51,989
They all sound like they need my help.
304
00:16:54,050 --> 00:16:56,711
Vodka? What's vodka doing in the car?
305
00:16:56,736 --> 00:16:57,953
Stella.
306
00:16:59,288 --> 00:17:01,011
We did something right with that one.
307
00:17:02,224 --> 00:17:04,843
- I wouldn't mind a shot.
- Me neither.
308
00:17:05,020 --> 00:17:07,294
We take her pills; we might
as well drink her booze.
309
00:17:09,098 --> 00:17:15,112
I seem to recall Stella was conceived
in a car not unlike this one.
310
00:17:18,006 --> 00:17:21,280
I kept honking the horn
by accident with my back.
311
00:17:21,810 --> 00:17:24,997
That was an accident? I thought
you were saying, "Good job."
312
00:17:27,048 --> 00:17:28,453
Remember that?
313
00:17:28,783 --> 00:17:31,551
Having sex in cars?
314
00:17:31,576 --> 00:17:36,970
It was all so new and
exciting and crazy.
315
00:17:37,801 --> 00:17:39,268
Long time ago.
316
00:17:39,293 --> 00:17:41,043
Doesn't feel that long ago.
317
00:17:41,662 --> 00:17:44,247
You are just as beautiful
as the day I met you.
318
00:17:45,733 --> 00:17:47,653
More beautiful, I would say.
319
00:17:48,903 --> 00:17:54,495
And you, still so strong and handsome.
320
00:17:54,825 --> 00:17:57,793
Look at these things.
They're like granite.
321
00:17:58,913 --> 00:18:00,167
Keep talking.
322
00:18:00,926 --> 00:18:02,140
Or...
323
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,923
maybe we should stop talking.
324
00:18:07,273 --> 00:18:09,500
_
325
00:18:10,313 --> 00:18:11,960
Hey, here's an idea.
326
00:18:11,985 --> 00:18:14,326
Well, I loved your
last one. I'm all ears.
327
00:18:16,195 --> 00:18:17,742
Let's get out of here.
328
00:18:17,964 --> 00:18:21,569
We don't need those
pills. We got a backseat.
329
00:18:21,594 --> 00:18:23,025
You know what? You're right.
330
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,248
This will be my new pickup line.
331
00:18:32,674 --> 00:18:36,280
Look, Dad, Mom's makeover
video already has 80,000 views.
332
00:18:36,315 --> 00:18:37,914
And you can make money off that?
333
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,381
Even better, I get exposure.
334
00:18:40,986 --> 00:18:42,953
And how does that lead
to your own apartment?
335
00:18:43,605 --> 00:18:46,169
Dad, you're so funny.
336
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,737
Could not have been more serious.
337
00:18:51,356 --> 00:18:54,409
All right, I have got
champagne and tissues for Shea.
338
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:55,924
Champagne if she got the job.
339
00:18:55,949 --> 00:18:57,809
Tissues and champagne if she didn't.
340
00:18:59,872 --> 00:19:01,516
Hey, did you get the job?
341
00:19:03,551 --> 00:19:04,551
I did.
342
00:19:04,576 --> 00:19:05,908
- Hey!
- Yay!
343
00:19:05,943 --> 00:19:06,976
But then I lost it.
344
00:19:07,011 --> 00:19:08,811
- Oh.
- Aww.
345
00:19:08,846 --> 00:19:10,413
What happened, honey?
346
00:19:10,448 --> 00:19:14,524
Thanks to the antianxiety pills,
I was relaxed, calm, confident,
347
00:19:14,549 --> 00:19:18,125
but then they told me all new employees
are required to take a drug test,
348
00:19:18,156 --> 00:19:21,389
at which point I ran out of the
room abruptly and came right home.
349
00:19:23,360 --> 00:19:27,356
I don't think they test
for antianxiety medication.
350
00:19:27,464 --> 00:19:28,831
I know that now.
351
00:19:28,866 --> 00:19:31,999
But I don't think they're going to hire
the person who squealed and ran away
352
00:19:32,024 --> 00:19:33,734
when she heard the words "drug test."
353
00:19:36,107 --> 00:19:37,736
Did I not mention I squealed?
354
00:19:40,211 --> 00:19:43,817
Rookie mistake. You
always bring clean pee.
355
00:19:44,014 --> 00:19:45,979
And I could have gotten you some.
356
00:19:47,585 --> 00:19:49,747
Oh, wait, I get mine from you.
357
00:19:50,421 --> 00:19:52,151
How did I not know that?
358
00:19:54,157 --> 00:19:55,748
How do I unknow that?
359
00:19:57,975 --> 00:19:59,175
Mike!
360
00:20:00,563 --> 00:20:02,023
We need to talk.
361
00:20:04,922 --> 00:20:07,279
Okay, we've reached speaking altitude.
362
00:20:08,038 --> 00:20:12,002
I wanted you to know I caved
in and got a prescription...
363
00:20:12,308 --> 00:20:15,563
not from my doctor but
from some queer downtown.
364
00:20:16,946 --> 00:20:19,791
Dad, I don't know if we're
at homophobic altitude.
365
00:20:19,816 --> 00:20:22,408
What? That's how he identifies.
366
00:20:22,433 --> 00:20:26,517
He thought "bisexual" was constrictive.
I'm trying to be respectful here.
367
00:20:27,390 --> 00:20:30,057
Look, if you need a
pill, I'll give you one.
368
00:20:30,092 --> 00:20:33,754
Well, thanks, but I'm off them;
I'm clean. What changed your mind?
369
00:20:33,779 --> 00:20:36,121
Well, I figure I'll take
one every now and again
370
00:20:36,146 --> 00:20:38,365
when I want real bacon in the morning.
371
00:20:40,419 --> 00:20:43,144
Hey, let's face it; I
take pills for my heart,
372
00:20:43,169 --> 00:20:45,895
and I like my johnson a
lot more than my ticker.
373
00:20:48,176 --> 00:20:49,850
Better land this thing safely.
374
00:20:49,875 --> 00:20:53,127
I do not want those to be the
last words you ever say to me.
375
00:20:53,152 --> 00:20:58,152
Sync & corrections by PetaG
www.addic7ed.com