1
00:00:02,385 --> 00:00:03,755
(knocking)
2
00:00:05,145 --> 00:00:06,958
Don't you look handsome.
3
00:00:06,959 --> 00:00:08,958
I have to. I've got this
super-hot girlfriend.
4
00:00:08,959 --> 00:00:12,998
She's smart, successful,
can't keep her hands off me.
5
00:00:12,999 --> 00:00:14,708
Can't keep her hands off me.
6
00:00:14,709 --> 00:00:17,588
(chuckles) Mmm.
7
00:00:17,589 --> 00:00:19,918
So, what's this restaurant
you're taking me to?
8
00:00:19,919 --> 00:00:21,958
Oh, it's very fancy. No free refills,
9
00:00:21,959 --> 00:00:23,588
a lot of things are "market price."
10
00:00:23,589 --> 00:00:25,748
Please don't order those things.
11
00:00:25,749 --> 00:00:28,199
Hey, if you're getting
lucky, I'm getting lobster.
12
00:00:29,589 --> 00:00:31,328
Uh, the new sitter should be here soon.
13
00:00:31,329 --> 00:00:32,459
Oh, you got a new sitter?
14
00:00:32,460 --> 00:00:33,588
You mean since you dated
15
00:00:33,589 --> 00:00:35,588
and dumped my last one? Yes.
16
00:00:35,589 --> 00:00:39,128
This one's a 60-year-old
former Olympic shot-putter
17
00:00:39,129 --> 00:00:41,708
with unfortunate facial hair.
18
00:00:41,709 --> 00:00:43,708
Big boobs?
19
00:00:43,709 --> 00:00:44,998
(chuckles)
20
00:00:44,999 --> 00:00:47,538
Mmm.
21
00:00:47,539 --> 00:00:48,958
EVAN: Mommy.
22
00:00:48,959 --> 00:00:51,458
I don't feel good.
23
00:00:51,459 --> 00:00:53,748
Oh, sweetheart. Come here.
24
00:00:53,749 --> 00:00:55,628
Um, Evan,
25
00:00:55,629 --> 00:00:57,918
this is Oscar, Mommy's new friend.
26
00:00:57,919 --> 00:01:00,628
Hi. Nice to meet you, big guy.
27
00:01:00,629 --> 00:01:03,538
Little man. Little buddy.
28
00:01:03,539 --> 00:01:05,668
Honey child.
29
00:01:05,669 --> 00:01:07,668
Jump in here anytime.
30
00:01:07,669 --> 00:01:09,168
Where does it hurt?
31
00:01:09,169 --> 00:01:10,538
My tummy.
32
00:01:10,539 --> 00:01:12,828
Do you have to go out, Mommy?
33
00:01:12,829 --> 00:01:14,128
Uh...
34
00:01:14,129 --> 00:01:15,912
I'm sorry, but would
you mind if we stayed in
35
00:01:15,913 --> 00:01:18,038
and watched a movie? I can cancel Olga.
36
00:01:18,039 --> 00:01:19,662
Boy, you will do
anything to keep me away
37
00:01:19,663 --> 00:01:21,168
from that hairy shot-putter.
38
00:01:21,169 --> 00:01:24,369
I'll be right back.
39
00:01:26,539 --> 00:01:30,538
So, your tummy hurts, huh?
40
00:01:30,539 --> 00:01:33,088
That's no fun, right?
41
00:01:33,089 --> 00:01:35,668
Yep. Sucks to be sick.
42
00:01:35,669 --> 00:01:38,159
(whispers): I'm not sick.
43
00:01:41,959 --> 00:01:44,918
What do you... What?
44
00:01:44,919 --> 00:01:47,378
Here you go, sweetie.
45
00:01:47,379 --> 00:01:48,958
(coughs)
46
00:01:48,959 --> 00:01:51,699
Thank you, Mommy.
47
00:01:55,089 --> 00:01:57,088
Poor guy.
48
00:01:57,089 --> 00:01:59,949
- Mwah.
- I have a feeling he'll pull through.
49
00:02:03,935 --> 00:02:06,447
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
50
00:02:06,669 --> 00:02:09,088
Gustave, yes, Felix Unger.
Just calling to confirm
51
00:02:09,089 --> 00:02:11,208
my dinner reservation
for Saturday night. Yeah.
52
00:02:11,209 --> 00:02:14,378
Table three? Oh, bon. Yes. I'm
trying to recreate my first date
53
00:02:14,379 --> 00:02:15,788
with my girlfriend, minus
54
00:02:15,789 --> 00:02:17,998
that violinist whose
A-string was so flat
55
00:02:17,999 --> 00:02:20,119
it might as well have
been a G-string. (chuckles)
56
00:02:21,589 --> 00:02:23,168
Oh, Gustave, I will call you back.
57
00:02:23,169 --> 00:02:25,788
Felix, are you planning
something for my birthday?
58
00:02:25,789 --> 00:02:28,628
Oh, no. Just your average dinner.
59
00:02:28,629 --> 00:02:30,628
Followed by a carriage
ride. To a hot air balloon.
60
00:02:30,629 --> 00:02:32,732
Which will take us back to
the roof of this building.
61
00:02:32,733 --> 00:02:34,828
Then down the elevator for dessert.
62
00:02:34,829 --> 00:02:38,328
Felix, I specifically asked
you not to make a fuss.
63
00:02:38,329 --> 00:02:40,668
Yes, but everybody knows
that a request for no fuss
64
00:02:40,669 --> 00:02:42,828
is really an implied request for fuss
65
00:02:42,829 --> 00:02:44,748
at a level of intensity matching
66
00:02:44,749 --> 00:02:47,828
that with which no fuss was requested.
67
00:02:47,829 --> 00:02:49,708
What?
68
00:02:49,709 --> 00:02:50,788
Everybody wants fuss.
69
00:02:50,789 --> 00:02:52,059
Well, I don't.
70
00:02:52,060 --> 00:02:53,328
Why not?
71
00:02:53,329 --> 00:02:55,709
- I don't want to talk about it.
- Okay, but everybody knows
72
00:02:55,710 --> 00:02:58,253
that a request not to talk about
something is an implied request
73
00:02:58,254 --> 00:02:58,959
to talk...
74
00:02:58,960 --> 00:03:00,088
My birthday is cursed!
75
00:03:00,089 --> 00:03:02,498
Cursed? What do you mean?
76
00:03:02,499 --> 00:03:05,088
Ever since I was a little girl,
77
00:03:05,089 --> 00:03:08,328
my birthdays have all been disasters.
78
00:03:08,329 --> 00:03:10,828
Like my tenth birthday,
when my cousin broke my nose
79
00:03:10,829 --> 00:03:12,378
with a piñata stick.
80
00:03:12,379 --> 00:03:13,584
I'm so sorry.
81
00:03:13,585 --> 00:03:14,788
It's okay.
82
00:03:14,789 --> 00:03:16,372
It healed in time for my 11th birthday,
83
00:03:16,373 --> 00:03:18,708
when I got kicked in the face by a pony.
84
00:03:18,709 --> 00:03:20,019
I am more sorry.
85
00:03:20,020 --> 00:03:21,328
And then,
86
00:03:21,329 --> 00:03:23,628
on my 15th birthday,
my fashion-model sister
87
00:03:23,629 --> 00:03:26,748
got her first magazine
cover while I got braces.
88
00:03:26,749 --> 00:03:27,708
Couldn't get any worse.
89
00:03:27,709 --> 00:03:31,668
On my legs.
90
00:03:31,669 --> 00:03:34,168
I get it. If you don't want
to celebrate your birthday,
91
00:03:34,169 --> 00:03:35,458
we won't.
92
00:03:35,459 --> 00:03:36,644
Thank you.
93
00:03:36,645 --> 00:03:37,828
But...
94
00:03:37,829 --> 00:03:40,378
there is no reason I couldn't
host a little dinner party here
95
00:03:40,379 --> 00:03:41,918
on Saturday night that you
and all your closest friends
96
00:03:41,919 --> 00:03:43,831
- just happen to be invited to.
- Felix.
97
00:03:43,832 --> 00:03:46,828
What? If we don't call it a
birthday party, it won't be one.
98
00:03:46,829 --> 00:03:48,852
We'll have a fabulous time
while breaking the curse
99
00:03:48,853 --> 00:03:49,958
for all future birthdays.
100
00:03:49,959 --> 00:03:53,208
I guess if it's just a dinner,
101
00:03:53,209 --> 00:03:54,708
why not?
102
00:03:54,709 --> 00:03:55,708
Ah. That's the spirit!
103
00:03:55,709 --> 00:03:57,038
We'll break the streak.
104
00:03:57,039 --> 00:03:58,878
Yeah. Suck it, curse!
105
00:03:58,879 --> 00:04:00,878
(chuckles)
106
00:04:00,879 --> 00:04:01,919
(phone vibrates)
107
00:04:01,920 --> 00:04:02,958
Oh.
108
00:04:02,959 --> 00:04:05,788
Ah. A text from Gustave.
109
00:04:05,789 --> 00:04:07,788
Oh. Apparently our table
110
00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:09,909
was just destroyed by
a falling chandelier.
111
00:04:11,289 --> 00:04:14,369
Now, who wants to make napkin swans?
112
00:04:27,502 --> 00:04:30,041
Whoa, whoa, whoa. You think
you're going a little overboard?
113
00:04:30,042 --> 00:04:32,010
Wait, you're busy. I'll answer that.
114
00:04:32,011 --> 00:04:33,876
Yes. Yes, you are.
115
00:04:33,877 --> 00:04:36,047
Oscar, this is my chance
116
00:04:36,048 --> 00:04:38,047
to break Emily's bad birthday streak.
117
00:04:38,048 --> 00:04:41,788
Checkmate, curse broken,
"Felix Unger, you are my hero."
118
00:04:42,628 --> 00:04:43,507
Mmm.
119
00:04:43,508 --> 00:04:45,507
Ow.
120
00:04:45,508 --> 00:04:47,507
Guess what. After some
clandestine e-mailing
121
00:04:47,508 --> 00:04:49,297
with Emily's family, I found out
122
00:04:49,298 --> 00:04:51,417
that Emily's dear departed
Grammie used to make her
123
00:04:51,418 --> 00:04:53,917
a special birthday cake. And...
124
00:04:53,918 --> 00:04:56,377
I managed to track down the recipe.
125
00:04:56,378 --> 00:05:02,007
Nothing like Dead Grandma
Cake to break a curse.
126
00:05:02,008 --> 00:05:05,047
Is Charlotte able to make it tonight?
127
00:05:05,048 --> 00:05:07,547
Ow! Stop hurting me.
128
00:05:07,548 --> 00:05:10,747
Yes, Charlotte will be here.
Without Evan, thank God.
129
00:05:10,748 --> 00:05:12,247
Oscar, you've been dating her
for a month. Can't you just tell
130
00:05:12,248 --> 00:05:13,957
her that her son lied about being sick?
131
00:05:13,958 --> 00:05:16,398
Oh, that's a great idea. "You
know that little kid you carried
132
00:05:16,399 --> 00:05:18,438
"inside you for nine
months? He's determined to be
133
00:05:18,439 --> 00:05:20,948
the last one in there."
134
00:05:21,958 --> 00:05:24,007
Why don't you just try to win him over?
135
00:05:24,008 --> 00:05:25,377
How do I do that?
136
00:05:25,378 --> 00:05:27,078
With warmth and charm and charisma.
137
00:05:28,208 --> 00:05:29,271
Or just buy him something.
138
00:05:29,272 --> 00:05:30,812
Yeah.
139
00:05:31,508 --> 00:05:34,127
Aha!
140
00:05:34,128 --> 00:05:35,127
Aah! Hot!
141
00:05:35,128 --> 00:05:38,207
Aah! Hot!
142
00:05:38,208 --> 00:05:39,507
Hello!
143
00:05:39,508 --> 00:05:41,917
My number one client. (chuckles)
144
00:05:41,918 --> 00:05:44,061
I'm just stopping by to wish
you luck on today's show.
145
00:05:44,062 --> 00:05:47,127
Are you sure you're not here
for your latest shoe delivery?
146
00:05:47,128 --> 00:05:49,127
(chuckling): Oh, yeah.
147
00:05:49,128 --> 00:05:51,297
Come to papa. (chuckles)
148
00:05:51,298 --> 00:05:53,917
Oh!
149
00:05:53,918 --> 00:05:57,547
Mint condition 1984 Hamagakis.
150
00:05:57,548 --> 00:05:59,917
(inhales deeply) Ah.
151
00:05:59,918 --> 00:06:01,837
One sniff and I'm
transported back to a time
152
00:06:01,838 --> 00:06:05,047
before I realized I
sucked at basketball.
153
00:06:05,048 --> 00:06:06,608
Why are you having them delivered here?
154
00:06:06,609 --> 00:06:08,392
Oh, he doesn't just
have them delivered here.
155
00:06:08,393 --> 00:06:10,247
He stores them here and then visits them
156
00:06:10,248 --> 00:06:13,328
like they're his children.
157
00:06:14,748 --> 00:06:16,127
Hi, kids, it's Uncle Oscar.
158
00:06:16,128 --> 00:06:17,667
Your daddy's here.
159
00:06:17,668 --> 00:06:19,007
Oh, please.
160
00:06:19,008 --> 00:06:22,127
I see these shoes way
more than I see my kids.
161
00:06:22,128 --> 00:06:23,877
Why can't you keep them at your house?
162
00:06:23,878 --> 00:06:26,047
Ah, Diane can't know
that I'm buying these.
163
00:06:26,048 --> 00:06:28,247
She wants to spend our
money on a new kitchen.
164
00:06:28,248 --> 00:06:30,471
When we all know the moment
you make that first sandwich
165
00:06:30,472 --> 00:06:33,917
that room loses half its value.
166
00:06:33,918 --> 00:06:36,127
Isn't Diane coming
here for dinner tonight?
167
00:06:36,128 --> 00:06:37,917
Ooh, good point. Oscar,
168
00:06:37,918 --> 00:06:40,797
maybe it's best that we
put those someplace else.
169
00:06:40,798 --> 00:06:43,007
Oh, don't worry. I'll
move 'em. Unless I forget.
170
00:06:43,008 --> 00:06:44,167
Just kidding, I won't.
171
00:06:44,168 --> 00:06:45,368
Unless I do.
172
00:06:49,458 --> 00:06:52,167
Aw! There she is!
173
00:06:52,168 --> 00:06:53,707
Wait, am I allowed to hug you today?
174
00:06:53,708 --> 00:06:56,127
I don't want to catch that curse.
175
00:06:56,128 --> 00:06:57,337
It's not contagious.
176
00:06:57,338 --> 00:06:58,213
Mmm.
177
00:06:58,214 --> 00:06:59,087
(chuckles)
178
00:06:59,088 --> 00:07:01,788
Unlike the rabies I
caught at my sweet 16.
179
00:07:04,128 --> 00:07:05,547
Hello, darling.
180
00:07:05,548 --> 00:07:07,167
Wow, it smells amazing.
181
00:07:07,168 --> 00:07:08,957
You said you weren't
gonna make a big deal.
182
00:07:08,958 --> 00:07:11,087
No, I didn't. It's just your average,
183
00:07:11,088 --> 00:07:13,167
pedestrian, run-of-the-mill affair.
184
00:07:13,168 --> 00:07:15,047
With one incredible surprise at the end.
185
00:07:15,048 --> 00:07:17,047
Ooh! I love surprises. Give me a hint.
186
00:07:17,048 --> 00:07:19,207
Um, okay. Uh,
187
00:07:19,208 --> 00:07:21,408
let's just say it's something
you've been thinking about
188
00:07:21,409 --> 00:07:22,592
since you were a little girl.
189
00:07:22,593 --> 00:07:23,773
Ooh!
190
00:07:23,774 --> 00:07:25,297
Ooh! (chuckles)
191
00:07:25,298 --> 00:07:27,837
And one day you will
tell your kids about it.
192
00:07:27,838 --> 00:07:29,247
(gasps)
193
00:07:29,248 --> 00:07:34,087
Huh. Emily, you don't think he means...
194
00:07:34,088 --> 00:07:35,127
What?
195
00:07:35,128 --> 00:07:36,797
Popping the question.
196
00:07:36,798 --> 00:07:39,047
(chuckling): What? A proposal?
197
00:07:39,048 --> 00:07:41,047
That's crazy. We've only been dating
198
00:07:41,048 --> 00:07:43,207
for four months. It's way too soon.
199
00:07:43,208 --> 00:07:45,007
Didn't you say he was gonna
take you back to the restaurant
200
00:07:45,008 --> 00:07:46,297
where you had your first date?
201
00:07:46,298 --> 00:07:48,167
Yeah, but that doesn't mean anything.
202
00:07:48,168 --> 00:07:50,111
Felix, do you think I
should have my camera ready
203
00:07:50,112 --> 00:07:50,983
for that surprise?
204
00:07:50,984 --> 00:07:52,047
Absolutely.
205
00:07:52,048 --> 00:07:54,297
Still,
206
00:07:54,298 --> 00:07:56,587
we don't know that that means anything.
207
00:07:56,588 --> 00:07:58,788
And maybe some tissues
for the tears of joy.
208
00:08:01,008 --> 00:08:03,507
Okay, let's not get carried away.
209
00:08:03,508 --> 00:08:05,917
Don't worry. I'm very
levelheaded. That's just one
210
00:08:05,918 --> 00:08:08,167
of the traits that'll make
me a great maid of honor.
211
00:08:08,168 --> 00:08:10,408
That's right. I'm staking my claim.
212
00:08:13,708 --> 00:08:16,797
Wow. That dress is incredible.
213
00:08:16,798 --> 00:08:20,087
Thanks. Felix sent me a
list of acceptable attire.
214
00:08:20,088 --> 00:08:23,707
Your roommate is a little bit...
I want to say "persnickety,"
215
00:08:23,708 --> 00:08:26,368
but I don't think that's anal enough.
216
00:08:27,708 --> 00:08:30,337
Mommy, Olga has a question for you.
217
00:08:30,338 --> 00:08:31,627
Oh. I'll be right back.
218
00:08:31,628 --> 00:08:33,127
Evan, say hi to Oscar.
219
00:08:33,128 --> 00:08:34,247
Hi, Oscar.
220
00:08:34,248 --> 00:08:34,838
Hi, Evan!
221
00:08:34,839 --> 00:08:37,297
(groans)
222
00:08:37,298 --> 00:08:40,047
Remember that movie
we saw the other night?
223
00:08:40,048 --> 00:08:44,377
I thought maybe you'd like
your own Maldork the Dragon!
224
00:08:44,378 --> 00:08:49,247
It's Maldrak, not Maldork.
225
00:08:49,248 --> 00:08:51,377
Dork.
226
00:08:51,378 --> 00:08:53,877
Did you just double-dork me?
227
00:08:53,878 --> 00:08:56,627
What if I did, dork?
228
00:08:56,628 --> 00:09:00,247
Look, obviously we got
off on the wrong foot here.
229
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:01,337
I was hoping we'd find
230
00:09:01,338 --> 00:09:03,047
a way to be friends.
231
00:09:03,048 --> 00:09:05,208
Yeah, never gonna happen.
232
00:09:06,878 --> 00:09:07,837
Hey, Oscar.
233
00:09:07,838 --> 00:09:10,167
Thanks for the dragon!
234
00:09:10,168 --> 00:09:11,457
This is awesome!
235
00:09:11,458 --> 00:09:12,917
Oh, what a sweet gift.
236
00:09:12,918 --> 00:09:15,127
Hey, can you check the latch on this?
237
00:09:15,128 --> 00:09:16,167
Is it on?
238
00:09:16,168 --> 00:09:18,368
Oh, it's on.
239
00:09:20,168 --> 00:09:21,228
Here I am.
240
00:09:21,229 --> 00:09:23,808
Looking great but without a date.
241
00:09:23,809 --> 00:09:26,808
Why would you bring a
date when you can have one
242
00:09:26,809 --> 00:09:27,934
wrapped in bacon?
243
00:09:27,935 --> 00:09:29,058
Mmm.
244
00:09:29,059 --> 00:09:31,388
Yum. And this one doesn't
live with his mother.
245
00:09:31,389 --> 00:09:32,808
(timer dings)
246
00:09:32,809 --> 00:09:35,348
Excuse me. The amuse-bouche beckons.
247
00:09:35,349 --> 00:09:37,848
Mmm.
248
00:09:37,849 --> 00:09:40,848
I brought my camera and tissues
in case there's a big moment.
249
00:09:40,849 --> 00:09:41,478
Oh, stop it.
250
00:09:41,479 --> 00:09:43,269
I'm just saying I'm a planner.
Which is why
251
00:09:43,270 --> 00:09:45,173
I have some thoughts
about bridesmaids' dresses.
252
00:09:45,174 --> 00:09:47,584
I'm thinking light,
bright, and super tight.
253
00:09:48,559 --> 00:09:50,018
Hello, everybody!
254
00:09:50,019 --> 00:09:51,058
Welcome.
255
00:09:51,059 --> 00:09:53,638
Diane, you look ravishing.
256
00:09:53,639 --> 00:09:55,638
Thank you, Felix.
That's a nicer compliment
257
00:09:55,639 --> 00:09:58,638
than I got from my husband.
258
00:09:58,639 --> 00:10:00,638
I said you looked fine.
259
00:10:00,639 --> 00:10:02,428
Yeah, you said "fine." You didn't say
260
00:10:02,429 --> 00:10:05,268
"fine."
261
00:10:05,269 --> 00:10:07,188
Now, now, now, no
marital discord tonight.
262
00:10:07,189 --> 00:10:08,638
I'm gonna hang this in the closet.
263
00:10:08,639 --> 00:10:09,888
Don't open that door!
264
00:10:09,889 --> 00:10:13,129
Or do whatever you
want. It's your party.
265
00:10:14,689 --> 00:10:17,388
All right, we're here.
The party can start.
266
00:10:17,389 --> 00:10:20,228
Charlotte, that dress is lovely.
267
00:10:20,229 --> 00:10:22,888
Would you mind going
home and changing it?
268
00:10:22,889 --> 00:10:25,019
- What?
- You see, you and Emily are wearing
269
00:10:25,020 --> 00:10:26,620
the exact same color
dress, which is just
270
00:10:26,621 --> 00:10:28,684
the sort of thing that
could take an already anxious
271
00:10:28,685 --> 00:10:30,428
birthday girl and
send her over the edge.
272
00:10:30,429 --> 00:10:31,256
He's joking, right?
273
00:10:31,257 --> 00:10:33,431
Felix, you can't ask
Charlotte to go upstairs,
274
00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:36,089
take off her dress, and...
275
00:10:39,599 --> 00:10:42,598
While he's picturing me
naked, I'll go up and change.
276
00:10:42,599 --> 00:10:44,299
Thank you.
277
00:10:46,809 --> 00:10:47,934
Think about baseball.
278
00:10:47,935 --> 00:10:49,259
All right.
279
00:10:51,099 --> 00:10:54,058
Look at this cake. You made it?
280
00:10:54,059 --> 00:10:57,058
Teddy can't reheat a burrito.
281
00:10:57,059 --> 00:10:58,978
It's Emily's big surprise.
282
00:10:58,979 --> 00:11:01,098
Her beloved grandmother's
special carrot cake.
283
00:11:01,099 --> 00:11:03,638
I love to bake. How many
carrots does she use?
284
00:11:03,639 --> 00:11:05,502
Well, you know, the
recipe only called for two.
285
00:11:05,503 --> 00:11:07,308
Do you think two carrots is enough?
286
00:11:07,309 --> 00:11:09,928
DIANE: Two carrots is plenty.
287
00:11:09,929 --> 00:11:12,188
Emily's gonna love it.
288
00:11:12,189 --> 00:11:13,309
You know she's going to cry.
289
00:11:13,310 --> 00:11:14,733
And then that maniac told Charlotte
290
00:11:14,734 --> 00:11:16,678
to go back and change her dress.
291
00:11:16,679 --> 00:11:18,508
Mm. My name is Dani Duncan.
292
00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:20,178
I do not approve that message.
293
00:11:20,179 --> 00:11:21,678
Sorry. Dani, can we talk?
294
00:11:21,679 --> 00:11:22,968
Yeah. Oh.
295
00:11:22,969 --> 00:11:24,638
Okay.
296
00:11:24,639 --> 00:11:26,388
What's wrong? You look pale,
297
00:11:26,389 --> 00:11:29,348
and that's saying something
given your starting point.
298
00:11:29,349 --> 00:11:31,598
Dani, I think you might
be right about Felix.
299
00:11:31,599 --> 00:11:33,968
I just heard him talking
about an engagement ring.
300
00:11:33,969 --> 00:11:35,832
Okay, bachelorette party.
What are we thinking?
301
00:11:35,833 --> 00:11:38,598
Party limo, party bus, party
Hummer? What's up? Come on.
302
00:11:38,599 --> 00:11:41,393
Dani, I'm not ready to marry Felix.
303
00:11:41,394 --> 00:11:43,473
I mean, he's amazing,
304
00:11:43,474 --> 00:11:45,461
but we haven't even
said "I love you" yet.
305
00:11:45,462 --> 00:11:47,484
Okay. You're right.
306
00:11:47,485 --> 00:11:49,018
But if you want the good strippers,
307
00:11:49,019 --> 00:11:51,978
you got to book 'em soon.
308
00:11:51,979 --> 00:11:54,469
The sexy firemen go so quick!
309
00:11:56,269 --> 00:11:58,638
Then just a dash of lemon juice,
310
00:11:58,639 --> 00:12:00,688
and you have tonight's
signature cocktail,
311
00:12:00,689 --> 00:12:03,188
the Heavenly Lemony Emily.
312
00:12:03,189 --> 00:12:05,098
Oh.
313
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:06,978
And if you can say it three times fast,
314
00:12:06,979 --> 00:12:08,334
then you need another one.
315
00:12:08,335 --> 00:12:09,688
(laughter)
316
00:12:09,689 --> 00:12:12,348
For the second time tonight, wow.
317
00:12:12,349 --> 00:12:15,058
Oh, thanks. It's a little tight.
318
00:12:15,059 --> 00:12:17,259
I might need some help
taking it off later.
319
00:12:19,929 --> 00:12:22,928
Oscar, are you okay?
320
00:12:22,929 --> 00:12:26,188
(knocking)
321
00:12:26,189 --> 00:12:27,308
OSCAR: Evan.
322
00:12:27,309 --> 00:12:29,808
Look, it's Evan.
323
00:12:29,809 --> 00:12:32,098
What are you doing here? Where's Olga?
324
00:12:32,099 --> 00:12:35,018
I snuck out. I can't sleep.
325
00:12:35,019 --> 00:12:36,079
What's wrong?
326
00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:37,138
FELIX: Yes. What's wrong?
327
00:12:37,139 --> 00:12:39,518
Why is there a child at
my grown-up dinner party
328
00:12:39,519 --> 00:12:41,978
that needs to go off without a hitch?
329
00:12:41,979 --> 00:12:44,768
It's the dragon that Oscar gave me.
330
00:12:44,769 --> 00:12:46,138
It's too scary.
331
00:12:46,139 --> 00:12:48,268
It gave me bad dreams.
332
00:12:48,269 --> 00:12:51,389
Oh, I'm sorry. Come here.
333
00:12:55,309 --> 00:12:57,018
You know, I think we might have
334
00:12:57,019 --> 00:12:59,138
to get rid of that little monster.
335
00:12:59,139 --> 00:13:02,299
I couldn't agree more.
336
00:13:10,179 --> 00:13:12,896
And here you go, your
own kiddie cocktail.
337
00:13:12,897 --> 00:13:16,347
I call it the Napoleon because
he was a cute little invader,
338
00:13:16,348 --> 00:13:18,718
just like you.
339
00:13:23,187 --> 00:13:25,226
Maybe we should go.
340
00:13:25,227 --> 00:13:27,516
No, no! Evan's welcome here.
341
00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:29,016
Hey, buddy, come here.
342
00:13:29,017 --> 00:13:30,800
You want to go play
video games in my studio?
343
00:13:30,801 --> 00:13:32,266
Okay, but only if Mommy comes
344
00:13:32,267 --> 00:13:35,106
and checks on me every five minutes.
345
00:13:35,107 --> 00:13:36,606
Every ten.
346
00:13:36,607 --> 00:13:37,936
Seven and a half.
347
00:13:37,937 --> 00:13:40,146
Oh, you're the worst.
348
00:13:40,147 --> 00:13:43,226
Whoa, how many of those have you had?
349
00:13:43,227 --> 00:13:47,847
This is still my first
Heavily Beverly Gemini.
350
00:13:49,017 --> 00:13:51,936
Okay, three... big ones.
351
00:13:51,937 --> 00:13:54,149
- Look, maybe he won't even ask you.
- Right.
352
00:13:54,150 --> 00:13:56,516
Let me do a little recon.
353
00:13:56,517 --> 00:13:59,766
Oh.
354
00:13:59,767 --> 00:14:02,646
Okay, I'm dying to know.
What's Emily's surprise?
355
00:14:02,647 --> 00:14:04,556
Okay, I'm not gonna say
another word about it.
356
00:14:04,557 --> 00:14:06,766
Except that I think it's
the best idea I've ever had,
357
00:14:06,767 --> 00:14:08,186
and Emily's father agrees with me.
358
00:14:08,187 --> 00:14:11,806
Her father?
359
00:14:11,807 --> 00:14:14,896
Mm-hmm. I called him last night,
and he gave me his blessing.
360
00:14:14,897 --> 00:14:17,467
Uh-huh.
361
00:14:19,307 --> 00:14:21,436
Oh, it's definitely happening.
362
00:14:21,437 --> 00:14:22,602
Oh.
363
00:14:22,603 --> 00:14:23,766
Mm-hmm.
364
00:14:23,767 --> 00:14:26,150
By the way, when you throw the
bouquet, I'll be to the left.
365
00:14:26,151 --> 00:14:28,266
Get it high, and I will do the rest.
366
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:31,266
Hey, Mommy, can I get
some shoes like these?
367
00:14:31,267 --> 00:14:33,427
Aw, hell.
368
00:14:34,847 --> 00:14:36,436
Teddy, am I looking at a pair
369
00:14:36,437 --> 00:14:37,976
of retro Japanese basketball shoes?!
370
00:14:37,977 --> 00:14:40,306
(laughs) Good eye, honey.
371
00:14:40,307 --> 00:14:42,226
I thought you said you hid my stash.
372
00:14:42,227 --> 00:14:44,476
I did, but I forgot
the new ones. I'm sorry.
373
00:14:44,477 --> 00:14:46,306
Size nine and a half?!
374
00:14:46,307 --> 00:14:49,106
Damn it, Teddy, are
you buying shoes again?!
375
00:14:49,107 --> 00:14:52,186
Nope, nope, nope, nope, nope.
376
00:14:52,187 --> 00:14:55,306
Those, um... those are... mine.
377
00:14:55,307 --> 00:14:57,346
Oscar, uh, gave them to me.
378
00:14:57,347 --> 00:14:59,266
I did?
379
00:14:59,267 --> 00:15:01,516
Give them to you.
380
00:15:01,517 --> 00:15:03,106
So these are yours, Felix?
381
00:15:03,107 --> 00:15:04,269
- Yeah, mm-hmm.
- Okay, so,
382
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,766
why don't you show us
383
00:15:05,767 --> 00:15:07,037
how they look on you?
384
00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:08,306
(chuckles)
385
00:15:08,307 --> 00:15:10,677
I can't think of a reason why not.
386
00:15:13,227 --> 00:15:15,436
Oh, yeah.
387
00:15:15,437 --> 00:15:17,436
Hmm. Size 11.
388
00:15:17,437 --> 00:15:19,340
(laughing): Oh, yes, but
that's in a dress shoe.
389
00:15:19,341 --> 00:15:20,186
In a sneaker,
390
00:15:20,187 --> 00:15:23,016
I'm a snug nine and a half.
391
00:15:23,017 --> 00:15:25,016
Yeah. Wow.
392
00:15:25,017 --> 00:15:27,346
(laughing): It's like
I'm walking on a cloud.
393
00:15:27,347 --> 00:15:28,890
Am I even wearing shoes? I can't tell.
394
00:15:28,891 --> 00:15:31,591
(grunts)
395
00:15:35,307 --> 00:15:36,896
What's that?
396
00:15:36,897 --> 00:15:38,686
It's a birthday gift for Emily.
397
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:41,646
On her birthday? Are you mad?!
398
00:15:41,647 --> 00:15:44,637
Now put that away, and we'll
never speak of this again.
399
00:15:46,107 --> 00:15:48,307
Oscar, we need to talk.
400
00:15:51,477 --> 00:15:53,476
Maybe I shouldn't say this,
401
00:15:53,477 --> 00:15:55,306
but that little guy is driving me crazy.
402
00:15:55,307 --> 00:15:58,146
You, too? I didn't
think you saw any of it.
403
00:15:58,147 --> 00:16:00,436
How could I not?
404
00:16:00,437 --> 00:16:02,726
It's like he's trying to ruin our night.
405
00:16:02,727 --> 00:16:04,726
Oh, I'm so glad you see it.
406
00:16:04,727 --> 00:16:06,266
Most moms wouldn't admit
407
00:16:06,267 --> 00:16:08,226
that their kid was
being a pain in the ass.
408
00:16:08,227 --> 00:16:10,146
Kid?
409
00:16:10,147 --> 00:16:12,146
We're talking about Evan, right?
410
00:16:12,147 --> 00:16:14,556
I'm talking about Felix.
411
00:16:14,557 --> 00:16:16,266
Well, of course Felix
is a pain in the ass.
412
00:16:16,267 --> 00:16:17,467
That's not news.
413
00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:21,306
So what's your problem with Evan?
414
00:16:21,307 --> 00:16:23,016
Okay.
415
00:16:23,017 --> 00:16:24,640
He lied about being
sick the other night.
416
00:16:24,641 --> 00:16:27,146
He's lying about not being
able to sleep tonight.
417
00:16:27,147 --> 00:16:29,146
He's totally sabotaging us.
418
00:16:29,147 --> 00:16:31,146
Unbelievable, Oscar.
419
00:16:31,147 --> 00:16:33,396
You're attacking a nine-year-old?
420
00:16:33,397 --> 00:16:37,186
A nine-year-old who called me a dork.
421
00:16:37,187 --> 00:16:39,516
Three times!
422
00:16:39,517 --> 00:16:42,217
(Felix whimpering)
423
00:16:44,347 --> 00:16:46,346
How are those feet feeling?
424
00:16:46,347 --> 00:16:49,967
Like they're being hoisted
aloft by the hands of angels.
425
00:16:50,807 --> 00:16:52,547
Ow, sweet Lord, the pain.
426
00:16:53,937 --> 00:16:55,226
Oh, my God, it's happening.
427
00:16:55,227 --> 00:16:56,306
(screams)
428
00:16:56,307 --> 00:16:58,186
Oh, I'm so sorry.
429
00:16:58,187 --> 00:17:00,227
- I thought that you were about to...
- No, no, no, everything,
430
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,428
everything, everything's fine.
431
00:17:01,429 --> 00:17:02,852
I got this. Nothing to worry about.
432
00:17:02,853 --> 00:17:04,606
Oh! Oh, no!
433
00:17:04,607 --> 00:17:06,396
Uh, Felix!
434
00:17:06,397 --> 00:17:08,547
That is a sickness.
435
00:17:10,227 --> 00:17:11,610
Don't you pin this on fancy pants.
436
00:17:11,611 --> 00:17:13,306
Those are your shoes.
437
00:17:13,307 --> 00:17:14,556
No. No, no. No drama.
438
00:17:14,557 --> 00:17:16,346
Tonight is-is a night of joy,
439
00:17:16,347 --> 00:17:18,490
so let's just, uh, skip
ahead to Emily's big surprise.
440
00:17:18,491 --> 00:17:21,686
Um... Emily.
441
00:17:21,687 --> 00:17:23,729
- From the first moment I saw you...
- Please don't do this.
442
00:17:23,730 --> 00:17:24,864
I knew that you were someone special...
443
00:17:24,865 --> 00:17:25,585
It's not the time.
444
00:17:25,586 --> 00:17:27,569
and that you deserved the
very best of everything.
445
00:17:27,570 --> 00:17:29,056
I really don't.
446
00:17:29,057 --> 00:17:31,726
And that is why, Emily, my darling...
447
00:17:31,727 --> 00:17:33,186
Felix, I don't want to marry you.
448
00:17:33,187 --> 00:17:34,547
- Oh.
- Ooh.
449
00:17:39,937 --> 00:17:41,556
What are you talking about?
450
00:17:41,557 --> 00:17:43,106
I'm not proposing to you.
451
00:17:43,107 --> 00:17:45,436
You're not? (whoops)
452
00:17:45,437 --> 00:17:47,646
I'm so relieved.
453
00:17:47,647 --> 00:17:50,436
Wait, you're relieved?
454
00:17:50,437 --> 00:17:54,016
Yes, Dani had me convinced
that you were gonna propose.
455
00:17:54,017 --> 00:17:56,766
So the idea of marrying
me is that horrible.
456
00:17:56,767 --> 00:17:58,766
No, it's just too early.
457
00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:00,686
I have no idea if I want to spend
458
00:18:00,687 --> 00:18:02,186
the rest of my life with you.
459
00:18:02,187 --> 00:18:03,726
Well, you're in luck,
460
00:18:03,727 --> 00:18:05,527
'cause I had no intention of asking you.
461
00:18:06,477 --> 00:18:08,226
This whole party was a disaster.
462
00:18:08,227 --> 00:18:09,306
Congratulations, curse!
463
00:18:09,307 --> 00:18:10,597
You win!
464
00:18:12,397 --> 00:18:16,597
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
465
00:18:17,897 --> 00:18:19,436
If they only had what we have.
466
00:18:19,437 --> 00:18:21,226
Right, baby?
467
00:18:21,227 --> 00:18:23,226
I'm-a bite you.
468
00:18:23,227 --> 00:18:25,427
♪ ♪
469
00:18:31,974 --> 00:18:33,434
(knocking on door)
470
00:18:36,064 --> 00:18:38,841
I'm here to apologize.
471
00:18:38,842 --> 00:18:41,301
And to see if Olga's
free tomorrow night.
472
00:18:41,302 --> 00:18:42,800
(chuckles)
473
00:18:42,801 --> 00:18:45,090
I'm the one who needs to apologize.
474
00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:47,760
I talked to Evan.
475
00:18:47,761 --> 00:18:49,800
And he was trying to break us up.
476
00:18:49,801 --> 00:18:51,501
So I was right!
477
00:18:53,171 --> 00:18:55,170
And wrong to say that.
478
00:18:55,171 --> 00:18:58,300
This is just really hard for him.
479
00:18:58,301 --> 00:19:00,800
I mean, it's so soon after the divorce,
480
00:19:00,801 --> 00:19:03,090
and I guess tonight I realized
481
00:19:03,091 --> 00:19:05,380
he just isn't ready to see me moving on.
482
00:19:05,381 --> 00:19:09,300
Yeah, but you have to move
on eventually, though, right?
483
00:19:09,301 --> 00:19:11,090
I will.
484
00:19:11,091 --> 00:19:14,170
It's just not "eventually" yet.
485
00:19:14,171 --> 00:19:15,720
I get it.
486
00:19:15,721 --> 00:19:17,840
If it was for any other reason...
487
00:19:17,841 --> 00:19:19,170
I know.
488
00:19:19,171 --> 00:19:21,970
It's just been so great,
489
00:19:21,971 --> 00:19:24,840
but maybe we need to push pause for now.
490
00:19:24,841 --> 00:19:26,921
Yeah?
491
00:19:28,091 --> 00:19:29,630
Yeah.
492
00:19:29,631 --> 00:19:31,220
Okay.
493
00:19:31,221 --> 00:19:33,050
Okay.
494
00:19:33,051 --> 00:19:35,581
I'm gonna miss our snappy banter.
495
00:19:37,171 --> 00:19:39,371
I'm gonna miss a lot of things.
496
00:19:43,011 --> 00:19:44,800
Just do me one favor.
497
00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:47,510
Let me know when
"eventually" finally comes.
498
00:19:47,511 --> 00:19:50,581
You will be the first one I call.
499
00:19:54,881 --> 00:19:57,880
You did mention needing help
getting out of that dress.
500
00:19:57,881 --> 00:19:58,880
Good night, Oscar.
501
00:19:58,881 --> 00:20:00,720
Good night, Charlotte.
502
00:20:00,721 --> 00:20:02,260
♪ ♪
503
00:20:02,261 --> 00:20:04,260
Do you think Felix is still upset?
504
00:20:04,261 --> 00:20:05,840
He must be... he's letting us clean up,
505
00:20:05,841 --> 00:20:07,720
and that's usually his favorite part.
506
00:20:07,721 --> 00:20:11,090
Ugh, why did I overreact like that?
507
00:20:11,091 --> 00:20:12,921
Well, at least there's cake.
508
00:20:18,931 --> 00:20:21,671
Mmm, this tastes just like...
509
00:20:23,471 --> 00:20:25,470
Oh, my God.
510
00:20:25,471 --> 00:20:27,171
♪ ♪
511
00:20:28,971 --> 00:20:31,354
Emily, if you don't mind, I
would rather be alone right now.
512
00:20:31,355 --> 00:20:32,720
Stop talking.
513
00:20:32,721 --> 00:20:35,010
I tasted the cake.
514
00:20:35,011 --> 00:20:39,010
That is the most thoughtful,
wonderful surprise
515
00:20:39,011 --> 00:20:41,550
I have ever gotten.
516
00:20:41,551 --> 00:20:45,800
Felix Unger, I love you.
517
00:20:45,801 --> 00:20:47,131
You do?
518
00:20:48,301 --> 00:20:50,501
I love you, too.
519
00:20:55,591 --> 00:20:58,550
And FYI, for the future,
I don't need two carats.
520
00:20:58,551 --> 00:20:59,880
(chuckles)
521
00:20:59,881 --> 00:21:01,930
As long as it's a
platinum-set emerald cut
522
00:21:01,931 --> 00:21:04,131
and the clarity is flawless,
then anything is fine.
523
00:21:07,650 --> 00:21:15,253
Subtitle sync and corrections by
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