1
00:00:02,502 --> 00:00:03,867
(RATTLING)
2
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:05,727
Okay, this is threaded.
3
00:00:05,905 --> 00:00:07,497
- Here, you take this.
- Okay.
4
00:00:08,108 --> 00:00:09,632
- I got this. You take this?
- Okay.
5
00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:11,367
- Wait a minute. Oh, God.
- Okay.
6
00:00:11,544 --> 00:00:14,570
- All right, now, click it in.
- Okay, push it.
7
00:00:14,748 --> 00:00:16,306
- I am pushing it.
- No, push it down.
8
00:00:16,616 --> 00:00:18,948
I am pushing it down.
9
00:00:19,119 --> 00:00:20,643
- Okay, I think that's it.
- (CLICKS)
10
00:00:20,820 --> 00:00:22,947
- Okay. Let me get mine in.
- Okay. Okay.
11
00:00:23,123 --> 00:00:24,215
Then tighten her up. (PANTING)
12
00:00:24,391 --> 00:00:25,483
- I got it.
- Yeah.
13
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:26,784
All right, let me just take up...
14
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:28,484
- Take up the slack.
- Okay.
15
00:00:28,762 --> 00:00:30,821
(SCREAMS) You're cutting me in half!
16
00:00:31,664 --> 00:00:32,995
I'm gonna release my side!
17
00:00:34,034 --> 00:00:35,023
Oh!
18
00:00:35,235 --> 00:00:36,259
Moll!
19
00:00:36,803 --> 00:00:38,202
Yeah.
20
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:45,940
Honey, can we please just take
this thing to the fire station,
21
00:00:46,546 --> 00:00:48,741
where they will install it, for free?
22
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:51,141
Yeah, maybe they'll do it
for you shirtless, too.
23
00:00:51,684 --> 00:00:53,618
(CHUCKLES) Don't worry.
24
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:56,913
You're still my first responder of choice.
25
00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:58,588
Thank you.
26
00:00:59,859 --> 00:01:01,019
You believe it?
27
00:01:01,194 --> 00:01:03,424
In three weeks, we're gonna
have a baby in this thing.
28
00:01:03,696 --> 00:01:04,993
You're gonna be a mom.
29
00:01:05,598 --> 00:01:06,758
You're gonna be a dad.
30
00:01:07,333 --> 00:01:08,857
- Mama.
- Papa.
31
00:01:10,837 --> 00:01:12,998
(CHUCKLES) Okay, well, let's get
this damn car seat in
32
00:01:13,173 --> 00:01:15,038
so Mom and Dad
aren't gonna have to walk baby
33
00:01:15,208 --> 00:01:17,267
six miles home from the hospital.
34
00:01:17,911 --> 00:01:19,242
You know what?
35
00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:23,144
You have been working really hard on this.
36
00:01:23,783 --> 00:01:27,116
Why don't you just go take a nap
or something,
37
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:29,482
and I'll give this another shot.
38
00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:31,180
You want to try to do this alone?
39
00:01:33,359 --> 00:01:35,088
Just go take a nap.
40
00:01:37,230 --> 00:01:39,095
Okay. But don't take it to Firehouse 7,
41
00:01:39,265 --> 00:01:40,493
those guys know me.
42
00:01:45,638 --> 00:01:47,629
(THEME SONG)
43
00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:55,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
44
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:14,991
(TELEPHONE RINGING)
45
00:02:20,373 --> 00:02:21,362
(CLATTERING)
46
00:02:31,050 --> 00:02:32,347
- (PHONE BEEPS)
- Hello?
47
00:02:33,486 --> 00:02:35,317
Yeah, this is Molly Flynn.
48
00:02:36,623 --> 00:02:37,612
What? No, no.
49
00:02:37,790 --> 00:02:40,486
She's not due
for another three weeks. (SNIFFLES)
50
00:02:41,094 --> 00:02:42,356
What?
51
00:02:42,962 --> 00:02:44,122
Oh, my God!
52
00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:45,755
Oh, my God! Okay, we're on the way.
53
00:02:45,932 --> 00:02:46,956
- Mike, get up!
- (SCREAMS)
54
00:02:47,133 --> 00:02:48,122
(THUDS)
55
00:02:50,236 --> 00:02:51,225
What's going on?
56
00:02:51,404 --> 00:02:52,598
It's go time! The baby's coming!
57
00:02:52,772 --> 00:02:54,205
- Our baby?
- Yes, our baby.
58
00:02:54,374 --> 00:02:56,035
Who else's baby? Come on!
59
00:02:56,376 --> 00:02:57,809
I heard the phone. What's going on?
60
00:02:57,977 --> 00:02:59,842
- The baby's coming.
- What, your baby?
61
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,481
Yes, my baby. What is the matter
with you people? Get dressed.
62
00:03:02,649 --> 00:03:03,843
Oh, my God.
63
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,985
Well, sure, I'll cut the grass.
64
00:03:07,287 --> 00:03:08,914
What the hell is he talking about?
65
00:03:09,088 --> 00:03:10,851
He couldn't sleep, so he took an Ambien.
66
00:03:11,057 --> 00:03:12,820
Well, the van's leaving in 90 seconds,
67
00:03:12,992 --> 00:03:14,118
get Magoo ready.
68
00:03:14,661 --> 00:03:16,094
Okay, baby's coming. Baby's coming.
69
00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:18,594
Grandma doesn't like it
when you squeeze the puppy.
70
00:03:18,765 --> 00:03:19,754
Okay.
71
00:03:19,933 --> 00:03:22,424
No more sleeping pills! Get him dressed!
72
00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:27,196
Victoria. The baby's coming.
73
00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,599
We gotta go! We gotta go!
74
00:03:30,510 --> 00:03:32,205
- What are you doing?
- I'm hungry.
75
00:03:33,346 --> 00:03:35,177
No! There's no time for eating.
76
00:03:35,348 --> 00:03:36,713
Not even a bowl of cereal?
77
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:37,872
No!
78
00:03:38,818 --> 00:03:40,445
This better not be another drill.
79
00:03:40,620 --> 00:03:42,247
Hey. Do you see me holding a stopwatch?
80
00:03:42,422 --> 00:03:44,652
- This is the real deal. Let's go!
- (GASPS)
81
00:03:45,058 --> 00:03:46,355
Baby's coming?
82
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:51,088
Not you two again.
83
00:03:51,998 --> 00:03:52,987
Uh, I would have told you sooner,
84
00:03:53,166 --> 00:03:54,633
but sneaking around behind
your back makes it hotter.
85
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:55,790
(GROANS)
86
00:03:56,169 --> 00:03:57,761
Okay, the van's leaving in 30 seconds.
87
00:03:57,937 --> 00:04:00,132
I've known about this for,
like, two weeks. Let's go.
88
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:04,307
- (TIRES SCREECH)
- Oh!
89
00:04:05,044 --> 00:04:07,569
Ugh! Take it easy. I'm getting car sick.
90
00:04:07,847 --> 00:04:09,337
Well, if you'd had a bowl
of cereal with me,
91
00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:11,278
it would have settled your stomach.
92
00:04:11,451 --> 00:04:13,043
Don't start.
93
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:15,543
I'm sure y'all got questions
94
00:04:15,722 --> 00:04:17,849
about what's going on
between Victoria and me.
95
00:04:18,658 --> 00:04:20,683
Yeah, that's exactly
what we're all thinking
96
00:04:20,860 --> 00:04:23,590
as we speed to the hospital
to adopt a baby.
97
00:04:24,297 --> 00:04:26,891
Then, to ease your mind,
it's purely sexual.
98
00:04:27,066 --> 00:04:29,193
- Mmm-hmm. Our kinks just click.
- I'm the ying to his wang.
99
00:04:32,372 --> 00:04:33,771
I really do think I'm going to get sick.
100
00:04:33,940 --> 00:04:37,535
Okay, okay. Just breathe, okay?
Take short, shallow breaths.
101
00:04:37,710 --> 00:04:39,302
(BREATHING RAPIDLY IN SHORT BURSTS)
102
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:40,605
Good.
103
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,215
You know what? I actually do feel better.
104
00:04:43,383 --> 00:04:45,214
Yeah, it got me through
diarrhea at Disney World.
105
00:04:45,418 --> 00:04:46,407
Ah!
106
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:51,016
Ow! Where are you going? Stay on Cicero!
107
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:52,748
She'd kill me if I didn't stop.
108
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,057
Your mother? There is no time.
109
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:56,587
If we don't bring her along,
110
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:59,891
we will hear about it
for the rest of our lives.
111
00:05:01,768 --> 00:05:02,860
Okay, there she is.
112
00:05:03,770 --> 00:05:05,135
- (BEEPS)
- (TIRES SCREECH)
113
00:05:07,740 --> 00:05:09,173
Where am I supposed to sit?
114
00:05:10,209 --> 00:05:11,506
We could take out the baby seat.
115
00:05:11,678 --> 00:05:12,770
- No!
- No!
116
00:05:14,213 --> 00:05:15,407
- Oh, for God's sake.
- (SEATBELT BUCKLE CLICKS)
117
00:05:16,749 --> 00:05:17,738
(GROANS)
118
00:05:21,854 --> 00:05:23,947
No worse than coach on Delta.
119
00:05:29,295 --> 00:05:30,284
We're here!
120
00:05:30,463 --> 00:05:31,862
We're here! We're here!
121
00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:34,093
They called us, we came.
122
00:05:34,500 --> 00:05:35,762
We're here. What do we do?
123
00:05:35,935 --> 00:05:37,266
I'm gonna need a little more information.
124
00:05:37,437 --> 00:05:38,461
Okay.
125
00:05:39,339 --> 00:05:42,240
The woman that is having
our baby is having our baby.
126
00:05:42,442 --> 00:05:43,466
(LAUGHS)
127
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:45,166
Okay, still need a little more.
128
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,313
- Oh, my God.
- Okay, I got it, I got it, okay.
129
00:05:47,480 --> 00:05:49,948
We are here to meet our adoption advocate.
130
00:05:50,116 --> 00:05:51,981
And her name is...
131
00:05:52,151 --> 00:05:54,381
Written on a card on my night stand.
132
00:05:55,388 --> 00:05:57,219
- But you had time for cereal.
- Don't do that right now.
133
00:05:57,390 --> 00:05:58,948
- I'm just saying...
- I'll handle this.
134
00:05:59,125 --> 00:06:00,387
I got $22 here.
135
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,859
I'll give you $11 now and $11
when you cough up the baby.
136
00:06:05,164 --> 00:06:07,132
That's okay.
I just need a name to work with.
137
00:06:07,433 --> 00:06:08,695
Name, name, Puddin' Tame,
138
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,733
ask me again and I'll tell you the same!
139
00:06:13,005 --> 00:06:14,734
Are you the Flynn-Biggs family?
140
00:06:14,907 --> 00:06:15,896
(GIGGLES) Yes, that's us.
141
00:06:16,075 --> 00:06:18,305
Nice to meet you.
I'm your adoption advocate.
142
00:06:18,978 --> 00:06:19,967
(SIGHS) Is the baby here?
143
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,080
Not yet, but the mother is in labor.
144
00:06:22,248 --> 00:06:23,237
You guys need to stay close
145
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,008
because it could happen at any minute.
146
00:06:25,184 --> 00:06:26,173
Take this. It'll buzz
147
00:06:26,352 --> 00:06:27,751
and let you know when we're ready for you.
148
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,184
It's cool. Like waiting
for a table at Chili's.
149
00:06:32,525 --> 00:06:34,117
Except, this is your child.
150
00:06:35,862 --> 00:06:37,352
This is very exciting.
151
00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:38,895
- Thank you so much.
- Oh!
152
00:06:39,766 --> 00:06:41,859
If it's a girl,
we're gonna name her after you.
153
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,898
Oh, great. My name is Blanche.
154
00:06:48,341 --> 00:06:49,365
Do you have a middle name?
155
00:06:49,542 --> 00:06:51,601
Okay, all right. Okay. Come on.
156
00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:57,973
(ANNOUNCEMENT OVER LOUDSPEAKER)
157
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:06,723
Holy crap.
158
00:07:08,494 --> 00:07:09,654
Where am I?
159
00:07:10,797 --> 00:07:12,628
In the hospital.
160
00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:16,792
Am I going in or being released?
161
00:07:20,039 --> 00:07:21,336
We're waiting for your test results.
162
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:22,667
It doesn't look good.
163
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:27,203
I brought fresh bagels, courtesy of Abe's.
164
00:07:27,380 --> 00:07:29,712
Oh, great. Did you bring cream
cheese and some fresh fruit?
165
00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,039
You're welcome.
166
00:07:34,053 --> 00:07:36,214
Hey, Nana, so glad you could come.
167
00:07:36,389 --> 00:07:38,584
I wouldn't miss this for anything.
168
00:07:38,858 --> 00:07:40,621
Here, I brought something for the baby.
169
00:07:40,793 --> 00:07:41,919
Oh-ho-ho!
170
00:07:42,128 --> 00:07:43,925
I love it. Thank you.
171
00:07:44,330 --> 00:07:45,319
Aw!
172
00:07:45,598 --> 00:07:47,361
These eyes are a choking hazard.
Get rid of it.
173
00:07:47,533 --> 00:07:48,522
Hmm.
174
00:07:50,536 --> 00:07:52,026
Oh, hell no.
175
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,035
- You back with the drama queen?
- Yes, I am.
176
00:07:56,209 --> 00:07:57,699
I was talking to her.
177
00:08:00,746 --> 00:08:03,237
Listen, have you thought about
your living arrangements
178
00:08:03,416 --> 00:08:04,849
for after the baby's born?
179
00:08:05,017 --> 00:08:06,006
Well, we figured
180
00:08:06,185 --> 00:08:07,982
the baby would sleep
in our room for a little bit.
181
00:08:08,154 --> 00:08:10,247
And then we'll move him into the nursery.
182
00:08:10,423 --> 00:08:13,620
Ugh, that'll never work. You're all
on top of each other over there.
183
00:08:13,793 --> 00:08:15,226
Why don't you move in with me?
184
00:08:15,394 --> 00:08:17,328
I got plenty of room in my house.
185
00:08:18,097 --> 00:08:20,759
And everyone is sober.
186
00:08:21,501 --> 00:08:22,968
Is that a shot at me?
187
00:08:23,135 --> 00:08:24,864
Oh, good, you were listening.
188
00:08:26,038 --> 00:08:27,266
Listen, sweetheart,
189
00:08:27,440 --> 00:08:29,431
at least my home has some joy in it.
190
00:08:29,642 --> 00:08:31,735
Unlike the house you currently haunt.
191
00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:34,673
"Joy"?
192
00:08:35,014 --> 00:08:37,608
You mean pills, pot and fornication?
193
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:41,186
Like raising my baby at a Sandals Resort.
194
00:08:41,921 --> 00:08:44,651
Okay. Okay, okay. We're not moving.
195
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:48,052
I think what my daughter's
too nice to say is butt out.
196
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:49,216
Mom, stay out of it.
197
00:08:49,395 --> 00:08:50,919
Yeah, stick to what you know.
198
00:08:51,097 --> 00:08:53,190
Orgies and edible underpants.
199
00:08:55,801 --> 00:08:56,790
Keep talking
200
00:08:56,969 --> 00:08:59,062
and I'll slap that Poligrip
right out of your mouth.
201
00:09:01,140 --> 00:09:03,335
Why don't we take this outside, red?
202
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:06,708
Why don't we do this right here, whiskers?
203
00:09:06,946 --> 00:09:08,379
- Oh!
- (INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
204
00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:11,976
I'm gonna snap you like a string bean!
205
00:09:12,151 --> 00:09:14,016
Enough! Enough!
206
00:09:14,287 --> 00:09:15,345
God.
207
00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:17,489
If you guys don't stop it,
I will lock that baby up
208
00:09:17,657 --> 00:09:19,420
and none of you will ever see it.
209
00:09:19,659 --> 00:09:20,648
(CLEARS THROAT)
210
00:09:21,527 --> 00:09:23,495
Hey. Hey.
211
00:09:24,530 --> 00:09:25,997
Hi, Blanche.
212
00:09:26,165 --> 00:09:27,325
Blanchey Blanche.
213
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:28,660
Big B!
214
00:09:29,635 --> 00:09:31,193
Hi.
215
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:32,897
You want a bagel?
216
00:09:40,446 --> 00:09:42,038
Is everything okay in here?
217
00:09:42,214 --> 00:09:43,545
Oh, yeah, it's great.
218
00:09:43,716 --> 00:09:46,742
We're just playing a lively game
of Pass the Grandma. (CHUCKLES)
219
00:09:48,721 --> 00:09:49,847
- I win!
- (ALL CHEERING)
220
00:09:52,091 --> 00:09:54,685
Yeah, we're just very anxious
for some news.
221
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:56,259
Well, the mother is still in labor,
222
00:09:56,429 --> 00:09:58,158
and it looks like
it's going to be a while.
223
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:01,596
I'd normally say, "Just keep
doing what you're doing," but...
224
00:10:02,602 --> 00:10:04,763
(LAUGHS) Oh, yeah, we're just, you know,
blowing off
225
00:10:06,305 --> 00:10:09,866
steam and having fun. We're good.
226
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:11,031
- Okay.
- We're good.
227
00:10:11,210 --> 00:10:12,336
Well, I'll check back in a little bit.
228
00:10:12,511 --> 00:10:14,308
You know, the name "Blanche"
229
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:16,710
is really starting to grow on us.
230
00:10:21,220 --> 00:10:22,812
- You guys better shut up.
- Come on!
231
00:10:22,989 --> 00:10:25,048
(INDISTINCT SHOUTING)
232
00:10:35,768 --> 00:10:36,757
What are you doing out here?
233
00:10:36,936 --> 00:10:38,801
Taking a break from my loved ones.
234
00:10:41,173 --> 00:10:43,835
Yeah, I don't know what you were
thinking bringing us all here.
235
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:47,302
Okay, so I got your mom
settled in the cafeteria.
236
00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,176
Jell-O seemed to soothe that savage beast.
237
00:10:50,850 --> 00:10:52,112
(LAUGHS) Thanks, pal.
238
00:10:52,284 --> 00:10:55,549
Oh! Here, got you some cigars
so you can hand 'em out.
239
00:10:55,721 --> 00:10:56,710
(LAUGHS)
240
00:10:56,889 --> 00:10:58,288
Yeah, the guy at the gift shop
said they were Cuban,
241
00:10:58,457 --> 00:10:59,481
but I don't believe him.
242
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,290
They're perfect. Thanks, buddy.
243
00:11:02,862 --> 00:11:03,886
I appreciate it.
244
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:07,191
In fact, I appreciate
everything you've done.
245
00:11:07,366 --> 00:11:08,799
You're very welcome.
246
00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:11,828
You've been with me every step of the way.
247
00:11:12,004 --> 00:11:14,063
- Hmm.
- When I met Molly.
248
00:11:14,607 --> 00:11:15,835
When we got married.
249
00:11:16,609 --> 00:11:18,577
And now that I'm about to become a dad.
250
00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:21,406
(CHUCKLES) How about that?
251
00:11:23,616 --> 00:11:25,709
I could not ask for a better friend.
252
00:11:27,086 --> 00:11:28,610
Or a better partner.
253
00:11:29,588 --> 00:11:31,078
And, oh...
254
00:11:31,257 --> 00:11:35,125
Molly and I would like you to be
the godfather of our child.
255
00:11:40,399 --> 00:11:41,388
(CLICKS TONGUE)
256
00:11:42,034 --> 00:11:43,865
Man, I'd be honored.
257
00:11:44,503 --> 00:11:46,528
Hey, you know I'd do anything
for that baby, right?
258
00:11:46,706 --> 00:11:48,469
- Oh, I don't doubt that for a second.
- (CHUCKLES)
259
00:11:50,142 --> 00:11:52,110
I love you, Carl.
260
00:11:52,278 --> 00:11:53,267
I know.
261
00:12:02,988 --> 00:12:04,478
You're not gonna say it back?
262
00:12:06,025 --> 00:12:07,117
Now you know how it feels.
263
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:08,858
Ah, come on.
264
00:12:11,430 --> 00:12:13,489
(BABIES CRYING)
265
00:12:16,635 --> 00:12:17,761
Since they can't hear us,
266
00:12:17,937 --> 00:12:20,030
which one do you think is the cutest?
267
00:12:20,339 --> 00:12:23,103
All of them. I wanna take
all of them home.
268
00:12:23,275 --> 00:12:25,675
I mean, this is why
I can't go into animal shelters.
269
00:12:26,545 --> 00:12:27,534
It's hard to believe
270
00:12:27,713 --> 00:12:29,874
that you're gonna have
a baby of your own soon.
271
00:12:31,517 --> 00:12:34,714
I feel... I feel completely ready,
272
00:12:36,455 --> 00:12:39,515
and totally unprepared all
at the same time, and nauseous.
273
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:40,981
Ooh!
274
00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:43,853
I think the butterflies
are actually caught
275
00:12:44,029 --> 00:12:46,896
in the knots in my stomach.
276
00:12:47,066 --> 00:12:49,626
Honey, what are you worried about?
277
00:12:49,802 --> 00:12:52,270
You're gonna be the best mom.
278
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:54,138
God, I hope so.
279
00:12:54,974 --> 00:12:56,032
I know so.
280
00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,736
And if it ever gets too much,
281
00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:02,073
I'm gonna be there for you.
282
00:13:02,248 --> 00:13:03,840
Except weekends.
283
00:13:04,016 --> 00:13:05,608
And mornings.
284
00:13:05,785 --> 00:13:07,412
Other than that, I'm there for you.
285
00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:09,210
(LAUGHS) Okay.
286
00:13:09,622 --> 00:13:10,953
- Hey.
- Hey.
287
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:16,018
I apologize for flying off
the handle with Peggy like that.
288
00:13:16,195 --> 00:13:17,184
This is your day.
289
00:13:17,563 --> 00:13:18,552
Thank you.
290
00:13:18,764 --> 00:13:20,129
But her day is coming.
291
00:13:20,299 --> 00:13:21,425
Mom!
292
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,961
Sorry.
293
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:25,126
From now on, I'm on my best behavior.
294
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:26,828
Good, 'cause I need you here.
295
00:13:27,773 --> 00:13:30,173
I wasn't prepared for all this waiting.
296
00:13:30,342 --> 00:13:31,832
I mean, first thing
I'm gonna teach this kid
297
00:13:32,011 --> 00:13:33,569
is the importance of being on time.
298
00:13:33,879 --> 00:13:36,404
Well, some babies are stubborn.
You sure were.
299
00:13:36,582 --> 00:13:38,777
Oh. Twenty-two hours of labor.
300
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:42,351
I don't know how many times
I waddled down that hallway,
301
00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:44,455
had a cigarette and went back to the room
302
00:13:44,623 --> 00:13:47,217
waiting for you to arrive. (GROANS)
303
00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:49,082
What about me?
304
00:13:49,261 --> 00:13:50,785
You shot out like a bad clam.
305
00:13:52,998 --> 00:13:55,364
I just want all this waiting to be over.
306
00:13:55,534 --> 00:13:56,967
I want to take that little baby home,
307
00:13:57,136 --> 00:13:58,535
and I just want to stop worrying.
308
00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:04,006
(CHUCKLES) My sweet, na飗e girl,
you're gonna be a mom.
309
00:14:04,710 --> 00:14:07,406
You got a lifetime
of worrying ahead of you.
310
00:14:07,580 --> 00:14:10,310
When they learn to walk, learn to drive.
311
00:14:11,116 --> 00:14:12,583
Date a cop.
312
00:14:12,952 --> 00:14:15,386
You got to admit,
that one turned out pretty good.
313
00:14:15,721 --> 00:14:18,053
(CLICKS TONGUE) That one turned out great.
314
00:14:22,728 --> 00:14:24,093
So, Victoria.
315
00:14:24,563 --> 00:14:26,053
You next?
316
00:14:26,232 --> 00:14:27,358
Oh, God, no.
317
00:14:27,533 --> 00:14:28,966
I don't think I ever want a baby.
318
00:14:29,134 --> 00:14:30,328
- JOYCE: Hmm.
- (BABY CRYING FAINTLY)
319
00:14:30,603 --> 00:14:31,797
Good luck.
320
00:14:32,671 --> 00:14:34,798
That's exactly what I said.
321
00:14:37,309 --> 00:14:39,573
I mean, Victoria and I said
we were keeping it casual,
322
00:14:39,745 --> 00:14:41,303
but I'd be a liar if I didn't admit
323
00:14:41,480 --> 00:14:43,448
some of those old feelings
were starting to resurface.
324
00:14:43,782 --> 00:14:45,773
I'd be a liar if I said I was listening.
325
00:14:47,953 --> 00:14:48,942
Hey, how's it going?
326
00:14:49,121 --> 00:14:50,281
Hey, great.
327
00:14:50,756 --> 00:14:52,519
(CHUCKLES) It's a miracle
you're a nice person.
328
00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:56,083
Ma, listen...
329
00:14:56,262 --> 00:14:58,560
You don't have to say anything, I get it.
330
00:14:59,331 --> 00:15:00,491
Thank you.
331
00:15:00,666 --> 00:15:03,658
Once again you chose that family
over your own mother.
332
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,401
All I ask is when the baby is
old enough to understand death,
333
00:15:07,573 --> 00:15:09,131
you show him my headstone.
334
00:15:10,009 --> 00:15:11,476
Don't be ridiculous.
335
00:15:11,744 --> 00:15:13,678
So you won't even do that for me?
336
00:15:14,880 --> 00:15:16,438
Why are you being like this?
337
00:15:16,615 --> 00:15:18,173
You're about to be a grandma.
338
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:20,045
Isn't that something even you can enjoy?
339
00:15:20,252 --> 00:15:21,241
For how long?
340
00:15:21,420 --> 00:15:22,785
Once you get the baby in that house,
341
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:24,513
I'll never get to see it again.
342
00:15:24,690 --> 00:15:27,318
That is not true.
Why would you even think that?
343
00:15:27,993 --> 00:15:30,291
'Cause I know how I am.
344
00:15:30,462 --> 00:15:31,861
I'm a lot to take, Mikey.
345
00:15:32,031 --> 00:15:34,363
You don't see it because you're my son.
346
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,472
I know I'm gonna say something
awful to your wife's family
347
00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:45,166
(VOICE BREAKING) and then they won't
let me see my grandchild.
348
00:15:46,578 --> 00:15:47,567
Ma,
349
00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:52,147
there is nothing that you could say or do
350
00:15:52,318 --> 00:15:54,081
that's gonna keep you from that baby.
351
00:15:55,387 --> 00:15:56,376
You promise?
352
00:15:56,555 --> 00:15:59,456
Yes, but please don't take that
as a challenge.
353
00:16:01,226 --> 00:16:02,989
(BUZZING)
354
00:16:03,195 --> 00:16:04,594
Oh, is that your phone?
355
00:16:05,698 --> 00:16:07,290
It's happening! Our table's ready!
356
00:16:07,466 --> 00:16:09,161
I mean, the baby's ready!
357
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:13,067
Go get your wife! Run, Mikey, run!
358
00:16:13,906 --> 00:16:16,397
Molly!
359
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:22,147
Molly! Molly! Molly!
360
00:16:23,882 --> 00:16:24,974
Molly!
361
00:16:25,250 --> 00:16:26,774
- Moll!
- Hey, stranger.
362
00:16:26,952 --> 00:16:28,579
Hey, Harry. Have you seen Molly?
363
00:16:28,754 --> 00:16:30,745
- Sure did. In the gift shop.
- Got it. Gift shop. Okay.
364
00:16:30,990 --> 00:16:31,979
No, no, no.
365
00:16:32,157 --> 00:16:34,057
She was in the gift shop.
366
00:16:35,894 --> 00:16:37,384
Where is she now?
367
00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:39,487
- It's kind of a funny...
- Where?
368
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:41,027
She's in the bathroom.
369
00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:43,032
- Moll.
- Mike.
370
00:16:43,202 --> 00:16:44,191
The baby's here.
371
00:16:44,370 --> 00:16:45,701
- The baby's here. Come on.
- Oh, my God.
372
00:16:46,071 --> 00:16:47,333
Oh, my God.
373
00:16:49,675 --> 00:16:50,664
(PANTING) Where's Mikey?
374
00:16:50,909 --> 00:16:52,809
- It's kind of a funny story.
- Idiot.
375
00:16:55,547 --> 00:16:57,481
I'm just saying, it's not just me
376
00:16:57,649 --> 00:16:59,310
that's the godfather to this child.
377
00:16:59,485 --> 00:17:01,612
You know, I have a title
and it's very prestigious,
378
00:17:03,455 --> 00:17:04,945
but we're all in this together.
379
00:17:05,124 --> 00:17:06,955
You know, so we got to
come together as a team
380
00:17:07,126 --> 00:17:08,423
behave like adults,
381
00:17:08,594 --> 00:17:09,583
and support Mike and Molly
382
00:17:09,762 --> 00:17:11,559
in this new chapter of their life.
383
00:17:11,730 --> 00:17:13,197
But remember, as godfather,
384
00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:15,094
you gotta run all that by me first.
385
00:17:16,602 --> 00:17:19,070
He just keeps talking.
386
00:17:19,238 --> 00:17:20,364
Since he was eight months old.
387
00:17:20,539 --> 00:17:22,700
His first word was a paragraph.
388
00:17:24,309 --> 00:17:26,436
I don't want to make a big deal of it,
389
00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:29,311
but the baby and I have the same birthday.
390
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:31,573
Oh, happy birthday.
391
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:33,676
Can I have a balloon?
392
00:17:34,286 --> 00:17:35,412
No.
393
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,316
- Thank you, Joyce.
- Hmm?
394
00:17:40,492 --> 00:17:42,323
- For what?
- For taking this stray dog in
395
00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:44,587
and making him
a part of this crazy family.
396
00:17:45,464 --> 00:17:46,829
Oh, Vince.
397
00:17:46,999 --> 00:17:49,092
I don't know if
it's a compliment or an insult,
398
00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:50,792
- but you fit right in.
- (CHUCKLES)
399
00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:57,398
- Look what we found. (CHUCKLES)
- (ALL GASP)
400
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,838
I'd like to present
401
00:18:00,012 --> 00:18:02,242
William Michael Biggs.
402
00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:04,305
(GASPS AND SNIFFLES)
403
00:18:04,516 --> 00:18:05,847
Look at our grandson.
404
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:08,578
He's the most beautiful thing
I've ever seen.
405
00:18:10,556 --> 00:18:12,046
I was wrong.
406
00:18:12,624 --> 00:18:14,421
I do want one of those.
407
00:18:15,627 --> 00:18:18,061
I'm glad to hear it, because
you're gonna be his godmother.
408
00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:21,028
And I am gonna need you
on weekends and mornings.
409
00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:24,630
Oh, I gotta sit down.
410
00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:26,998
Okay, okay. You okay, sweetie?
411
00:18:27,506 --> 00:18:28,666
Yeah.
412
00:18:29,408 --> 00:18:30,568
- Well, I mean...
- (SNIFFLING)
413
00:18:31,110 --> 00:18:33,044
You know how you hear those stories
414
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:35,874
about people that can't have a baby
415
00:18:36,048 --> 00:18:39,142
and then they end up adopting,
416
00:18:39,318 --> 00:18:41,081
and once all the pressure's
kind of off of them,
417
00:18:42,421 --> 00:18:44,446
they end up getting pregnant.
418
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,650
- No.
- (CHUCKLES) Yes.
419
00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:49,418
I'm pregnant.
420
00:18:49,595 --> 00:18:51,620
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
421
00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,131
I've been feeling so nauseous lately
422
00:18:57,302 --> 00:18:59,167
and I thought it was just nerves,
423
00:18:59,338 --> 00:19:01,329
and then I went downstairs
424
00:19:01,507 --> 00:19:04,806
and I got a test from the pharmacy.
425
00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:06,604
- (SNIFFLES) Yeah.
- JOYCE: Oh, God.
426
00:19:08,247 --> 00:19:10,681
Oh, God. We're gonna
have to put in another car seat.
427
00:19:17,890 --> 00:19:18,914
(BABY COOS)
428
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:33,067
Moll, it's 2:00 a.m.
429
00:19:33,438 --> 00:19:34,837
Already?
430
00:19:35,541 --> 00:19:37,600
You can't do this every night.
431
00:19:38,810 --> 00:19:40,107
But I want to.
432
00:19:43,715 --> 00:19:46,513
Come on, you're pregnant.
You need to get your sleep.
433
00:19:48,120 --> 00:19:49,644
(SIGHS) But I like watching him.
434
00:19:52,624 --> 00:19:54,558
I can't believe all this is happening.
435
00:19:55,561 --> 00:19:56,550
I can.
436
00:19:58,497 --> 00:20:00,397
I've known it
since the first time I saw you.
437
00:20:01,700 --> 00:20:03,565
- Mike.
- I'm serious.
438
00:20:05,003 --> 00:20:07,130
I said, "That is the woman
I am going to marry
439
00:20:07,306 --> 00:20:09,433
"and spend the rest of my life with."
440
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:13,670
What about the cramped house
full of mental patients?
441
00:20:14,947 --> 00:20:16,471
That I didn't see coming.
442
00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:19,942
But I wouldn't change a thing.
443
00:20:21,687 --> 00:20:23,382
Not a thing.
444
00:20:23,755 --> 00:20:25,188
- I love you.
- I love you.
445
00:20:27,526 --> 00:20:29,221
(BABY CRYING)
446
00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:30,418
Oh!
447
00:20:31,029 --> 00:20:32,894
Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
448
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:37,696
- (BOTH HUMMING THEME SONG)
- (BABY CRYING)
449
00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:44,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
450
00:21:23,081 --> 00:21:24,070
English - SDH