1 00:00:14,085 --> 00:00:16,991 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:17,077 --> 00:00:19,143 - Take the apple, Mrs. Sherman! 3 00:00:19,246 --> 00:00:21,714 - Reach out and take it. Take the apple. - Mr. Ryan. 4 00:00:21,816 --> 00:00:23,521 Mr. Ryan, would you please step back to your podium? 5 00:00:23,546 --> 00:00:24,607 She wouldn't take the apple. 6 00:00:24,685 --> 00:00:29,121 Which one of you Johnny Appledick shit for brains came up with that bit? 7 00:00:29,223 --> 00:00:32,358 Hi, ma'am, I just arrived here in Winter Blunderland. 8 00:00:32,460 --> 00:00:35,594 He looked like Ike Turner handing Tina a snack. 9 00:00:35,696 --> 00:00:37,396 I think we've identified the key problem, 10 00:00:37,498 --> 00:00:39,698 which is that Jonah does not interact well with humans. 11 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,501 No, I don't interact well with hag-ass old bitches. 12 00:00:42,603 --> 00:00:45,871 Do you realize that you just handed O'Brien New Hampshire 13 00:00:45,973 --> 00:00:48,774 chained to a radiator with its twat shaved? 14 00:00:48,876 --> 00:00:50,876 - I'm hanging up! - I'm sorry, Mom. 15 00:00:50,978 --> 00:00:52,778 You know what? On the positive side, 16 00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:56,448 now I can just try and concentrate on our little family weekend. 17 00:00:56,550 --> 00:00:59,451 - Just us Meyers. - Well, then why is Gary here? 18 00:00:59,553 --> 00:01:02,354 - I mean, no offense. - Gary's family, too. 19 00:01:02,456 --> 00:01:03,231 Oh, thank you. 20 00:01:03,256 --> 00:01:05,581 I'm just really excited to have this time 21 00:01:05,660 --> 00:01:09,161 for you and Dad and Monny to get to know the real Marjorie. 22 00:01:09,263 --> 00:01:12,164 I mean, fun Marjorie, not just Marjorie the Secret Service agent. 23 00:01:12,266 --> 00:01:15,134 Oh, I'm excited to get to know fun Marjorie, too. 24 00:01:15,236 --> 00:01:16,802 When is she arriving? 25 00:01:19,507 --> 00:01:22,341 I'm just kidding. I'm just teasing. 26 00:01:23,878 --> 00:01:26,278 Whoo-hoo-hoo! The president is driving. 27 00:01:26,380 --> 00:01:28,480 - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Look out. 28 00:01:28,582 --> 00:01:31,016 Bump. How about that? 29 00:01:31,118 --> 00:01:33,485 - Look! - Dad! Monny! 30 00:01:33,587 --> 00:01:34,404 Kitty Cat! 31 00:01:34,429 --> 00:01:36,879 All right, so the Chinese are gonna be here any minute. 32 00:01:36,957 --> 00:01:39,658 - Yeah. - Beijing has demanded complete secrecy. 33 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:43,395 So you're gonna have to keep Charles Ponzi and pussyride away from me. 34 00:01:43,497 --> 00:01:45,764 We Meyers are very resourceful. 35 00:01:45,866 --> 00:01:48,834 You do know you're not really a member of my family, right? 36 00:01:48,936 --> 00:01:50,069 - I do. - Right. 37 00:01:51,272 --> 00:01:52,771 What is that insanity 38 00:01:52,873 --> 00:01:54,506 you're putting all over the tree, Monica? 39 00:01:54,608 --> 00:01:58,577 Oh, this is my homemade cranberry and popcorn tinsel 40 00:01:58,679 --> 00:02:00,879 - that I like to call... - Popcornaments! 41 00:02:00,981 --> 00:02:02,748 Someone's been reading my blog. 42 00:02:02,850 --> 00:02:04,783 I just trademarked the word last week. 43 00:02:04,885 --> 00:02:07,252 It sounds delicious and it's adorable. 44 00:02:07,354 --> 00:02:08,654 So I'm gonna call it delorable. 45 00:02:08,756 --> 00:02:10,122 See? We can all do it. 46 00:02:10,224 --> 00:02:11,457 - Hey, Mom. - Yes? 47 00:02:11,559 --> 00:02:13,125 I just wanted to let you know that Marjorie 48 00:02:13,227 --> 00:02:15,627 is a raw food vegan and she's turned me into one. 49 00:02:15,730 --> 00:02:18,163 Oh, so that's two things she's turned you into. 50 00:02:18,265 --> 00:02:22,301 Yeah, we just thought maybe we could have, like, a sham ham for Christmas. 51 00:02:22,403 --> 00:02:24,470 What is that, sweetie? Is that like tofurkey? 52 00:02:24,572 --> 00:02:26,238 No, ma'am, tofurkey is cooked. 53 00:02:26,340 --> 00:02:29,174 This is a raw log made of mushrooms and soaked walnuts. 54 00:02:29,276 --> 00:02:30,509 But it tastes like a ham? 55 00:02:30,611 --> 00:02:31,944 - Yeah, it's close. - Not at all. 56 00:02:32,046 --> 00:02:33,846 We could all cut back on our meat consum... 57 00:02:33,948 --> 00:02:35,781 I'm terribly sorry, Marjorie. 58 00:02:35,883 --> 00:02:37,683 - I thought you were Selina. - That's okay, sir. 59 00:02:37,785 --> 00:02:39,017 People make that mistake constantly. 60 00:02:39,120 --> 00:02:41,186 How about you touch neither of us? 61 00:02:41,288 --> 00:02:44,356 Okay, I'm gonna go check on that funky food order and... 62 00:02:44,458 --> 00:02:47,893 Mom, I wanted to ask you about something, but I can just talk to Dad about it. 63 00:02:47,995 --> 00:02:49,261 He's better with money stuff. 64 00:02:49,363 --> 00:02:51,029 What money stuff? 65 00:02:51,132 --> 00:02:53,499 Well, it's just that there's so much of it 66 00:02:53,601 --> 00:02:55,334 that it's really tough to know what to do with it. 67 00:02:55,436 --> 00:02:57,469 Uncle George was saying that maybe I should sell the Palm Beach house 68 00:02:57,571 --> 00:02:59,238 so that I could pay off the estate taxes. 69 00:02:59,340 --> 00:03:03,242 Palm Beach house, honey? That was my daddy's favorite house. 70 00:03:03,344 --> 00:03:06,478 Actually, Lee, right now is a fantastic time to sell. 71 00:03:06,580 --> 00:03:09,581 And, Catherine, do you remember that Brazil hotel chain? 72 00:03:09,683 --> 00:03:11,283 - What? - I told them about your veganism 73 00:03:11,385 --> 00:03:14,253 and they decided to convert the whole thing to an eco resort. 74 00:03:14,355 --> 00:03:16,989 - No, they didn't. - I have a prospectus in my briefcase. 75 00:03:17,091 --> 00:03:19,892 I'll tell you what. I think we should not talk about money 76 00:03:19,994 --> 00:03:23,061 during our sort of pre-Christmas Christmas celebration. 77 00:03:23,164 --> 00:03:26,365 Catherine and Marjorie, can you gals go outside 78 00:03:26,467 --> 00:03:28,534 and get some wood to start a fire? 79 00:03:28,636 --> 00:03:31,470 Ma'am, your daughter's dazzling eyes can start a fire themselves. 80 00:03:31,572 --> 00:03:33,138 Okay, well, that's terrifying, 81 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:35,607 but I actually do think we need to get some wood from outside. 82 00:03:35,709 --> 00:03:38,477 - Yes, ma'am. - Thanks. Gary, we got to go. 83 00:03:38,579 --> 00:03:41,213 Okay, are the Chinese here yet? 84 00:03:41,315 --> 00:03:43,015 Delayed on the road, ma'am. 85 00:03:43,117 --> 00:03:45,317 Presumably driving slowly and not using their signals. 86 00:03:45,419 --> 00:03:47,519 Hey, any updates on Debralee's sonogram? 87 00:03:47,621 --> 00:03:49,421 Nothing. I'm going crazy. 88 00:03:49,523 --> 00:03:51,857 What do you got going there, Depravey Crockett? 89 00:03:51,959 --> 00:03:54,359 You can't go in with a plan. The knife tells you. 90 00:03:54,461 --> 00:03:56,061 Okay, so lay it on me, Ben. 91 00:03:56,163 --> 00:03:57,563 It's all been prenegotiated, ma'am. 92 00:03:57,665 --> 00:03:59,264 In exchange for you lifting the sanctions, 93 00:03:59,366 --> 00:04:01,900 China's agreed to build an electronics plant in Ohio 94 00:04:02,002 --> 00:04:04,336 and an engine assembly plant in North Carolina. 95 00:04:04,438 --> 00:04:06,071 Okay, so we got North Carolina, Ohio. 96 00:04:06,173 --> 00:04:07,239 That's the presidency for me. 97 00:04:07,341 --> 00:04:08,974 And as per usual, we raised the issue 98 00:04:09,076 --> 00:04:11,810 of the Dalai Lama and the Panchen Lama returning to Tibet. 99 00:04:11,912 --> 00:04:14,546 - Dalai Lama, I'm so sick of him. - He's insufferable. 100 00:04:14,648 --> 00:04:16,615 Do we have a press release ready to go, Mike? 101 00:04:16,717 --> 00:04:18,150 All I got to do is press send and we... 102 00:04:18,252 --> 00:04:20,319 actually, I do need to spell-check this thing. 103 00:04:20,421 --> 00:04:22,754 Ma'am, Minna Häkkinen is through security and headed this way. 104 00:04:22,857 --> 00:04:26,692 How is it that that Asperger salad inserted herself into this situation? 105 00:04:26,794 --> 00:04:29,094 President Lu trusts her. Likes what she did with the IMF. 106 00:04:29,196 --> 00:04:31,463 No, I'll tell you what he likes. Nordic beav. 107 00:04:31,565 --> 00:04:33,298 Irresistible. Ooh! 108 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:34,933 - Shh. - What? 109 00:04:35,035 --> 00:04:37,135 - Oh, Minna! - Selina. 110 00:04:37,238 --> 00:04:39,238 - Hello. - Hello. I have not seen you 111 00:04:39,340 --> 00:04:41,540 since you failed to vote for me to be head of the IMF. 112 00:04:41,642 --> 00:04:43,375 And, oh, you changed your hair. 113 00:04:43,477 --> 00:04:44,943 Thank you, yes. I have more highlights. 114 00:04:45,045 --> 00:04:48,981 And you changed your eyelids. You had oculoplasty. 115 00:04:49,083 --> 00:04:50,883 - Um... - You look more alert. 116 00:04:50,985 --> 00:04:52,384 Yeah... 117 00:04:52,486 --> 00:04:54,419 Well, the latest poll numbers are in 118 00:04:54,521 --> 00:04:56,722 and you've fallen 20 points behind the Widow Sherman. 119 00:04:56,824 --> 00:04:59,024 We have to keep you away from people. 120 00:04:59,126 --> 00:05:02,728 Yeah, surround you with some trees. Make you look human-sized. 121 00:05:02,830 --> 00:05:05,530 Yeah, back to the natural habitat your nitwit mother 122 00:05:05,633 --> 00:05:08,567 found you in, you fucking shaved Sasquatch. 123 00:05:08,669 --> 00:05:12,137 But the good news is that you're only three points behind Jon H Ryan, whoever that is. 124 00:05:12,239 --> 00:05:15,674 Hey, Slick. What's Blondie's situation? 125 00:05:15,776 --> 00:05:18,510 Does she choke for Coke? 126 00:05:18,612 --> 00:05:20,312 You should ask her. 127 00:05:20,414 --> 00:05:21,446 Yeah. 128 00:05:21,548 --> 00:05:23,482 It's been a very hard year. 129 00:05:23,584 --> 00:05:25,550 The menopause has really taken a hold of me. 130 00:05:25,653 --> 00:05:29,187 - Is that so? Yeah. - Yes. You know... you're menopausal. 131 00:05:29,290 --> 00:05:31,456 - What? - You're menopausal as well. 132 00:05:31,558 --> 00:05:32,858 - No, I'm not. - Well... 133 00:05:32,960 --> 00:05:34,526 - No? - What? 134 00:05:34,628 --> 00:05:35,961 No, you are. 135 00:05:36,063 --> 00:05:37,896 No, you're older than me, so I... 136 00:05:37,998 --> 00:05:40,098 No, I am actually two years younger. 137 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:42,000 Oh, I still have regular periods, 138 00:05:42,102 --> 00:05:43,936 but my joints, they're very swollen. 139 00:05:44,038 --> 00:05:45,904 You know, I wonder if we can just get back to the Chinese. 140 00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:49,841 The Chinese may try to change the terms of the done deal. 141 00:05:49,944 --> 00:05:51,109 - Really? - Yes. 142 00:05:51,211 --> 00:05:52,511 - But if they do this... - Yeah? 143 00:05:52,613 --> 00:05:54,913 ...you are simply ready to perform the walkout 144 00:05:55,015 --> 00:05:56,915 to convince the Chinese that you will not negotiate 145 00:05:57,017 --> 00:05:58,717 if the terms of the deal are not satisfactory. 146 00:05:58,819 --> 00:06:00,786 - Okay. - You say the terms are unacceptable 147 00:06:00,888 --> 00:06:03,288 and you take both your palms and you place them 148 00:06:03,390 --> 00:06:05,090 firmly on the table like that. 149 00:06:05,192 --> 00:06:07,592 - Oh, God. - Then you walk out. 150 00:06:07,695 --> 00:06:10,329 And then someone must say this is unprecedented. 151 00:06:10,431 --> 00:06:12,230 - She never does this. - Ben can do that. 152 00:06:12,333 --> 00:06:15,000 - Who, me? - It is much harder than it sounds. 153 00:06:15,102 --> 00:06:16,969 - Perhaps we should rehearse? - Absolutely. 154 00:06:17,071 --> 00:06:19,237 So this is unacceptable. 155 00:06:19,340 --> 00:06:21,673 And then, uh, I walk out. 156 00:06:21,775 --> 00:06:24,509 No, that is not credible. You try again. 157 00:06:24,611 --> 00:06:27,045 - This is unacceptable. - Mm-hmm. 158 00:06:27,147 --> 00:06:29,581 No, you see, that's the same, but it's just louder. 159 00:06:29,683 --> 00:06:30,646 She never does this. 160 00:06:30,671 --> 00:06:33,175 Oh, no, that is good. Now, that is convincing. 161 00:06:33,253 --> 00:06:35,053 - Hey, girlies. - Mom. 162 00:06:35,155 --> 00:06:37,155 - Yes, honey? - I want you to open your gift. 163 00:06:37,257 --> 00:06:39,725 Since technically it's early Christmas Eve, I got you something. 164 00:06:39,827 --> 00:06:41,693 What have we got here? 165 00:06:44,198 --> 00:06:45,082 Oh. 166 00:06:45,107 --> 00:06:47,757 It was used in 1907 at the Second Hague Convention. 167 00:06:47,835 --> 00:06:50,769 And I figured you could use it to sign important peace treaties 168 00:06:50,871 --> 00:06:52,337 when you're officially elected. 169 00:06:52,439 --> 00:06:54,439 It's actually lovely, Catherine. 170 00:06:54,541 --> 00:06:57,909 Amex gave me this crazy new card that's made out of black metal. 171 00:06:58,012 --> 00:07:00,912 It truly shows the special 172 00:07:01,015 --> 00:07:03,749 mommy-daughter bond that you and I share. 173 00:07:05,452 --> 00:07:07,219 - So good. - I have an idea. 174 00:07:07,321 --> 00:07:10,255 Marjorie, why don't you open my gift? 175 00:07:10,357 --> 00:07:12,224 Oh, you got Marjorie a gift. 176 00:07:12,326 --> 00:07:15,127 Marjorie's part of the family now, aren't you, pal? 177 00:07:15,229 --> 00:07:18,463 Yeah, I got Marjorie a gift, too. Um, right, Gary? 178 00:07:18,565 --> 00:07:19,831 - Yeah. - Yeah. 179 00:07:19,933 --> 00:07:21,400 - It's beautiful. - Stuck in security. 180 00:07:21,502 --> 00:07:23,735 Stuck in security. I don't know how that happened. 181 00:07:23,837 --> 00:07:26,138 - I got the tracking number. - Okay. Let's see what you got. 182 00:07:29,209 --> 00:07:30,909 Ah, it's an old book. 183 00:07:31,011 --> 00:07:34,046 - Do you like it? - I am overcome with emotion. 184 00:07:34,148 --> 00:07:35,814 Oh, my God. 185 00:07:35,916 --> 00:07:38,583 It's a first edition Gertrude Stein. 186 00:07:38,685 --> 00:07:39,851 That's Marjorie's favorite poet. 187 00:07:39,953 --> 00:07:41,720 How did you know that, Dad? 188 00:07:41,822 --> 00:07:42,364 I listen. 189 00:07:42,389 --> 00:07:44,013 I'm going to put this someplace special. 190 00:07:44,091 --> 00:07:45,457 - Hey. - Hi. 191 00:07:45,559 --> 00:07:48,060 I noticed two golf carts filled with Asian people. 192 00:07:48,162 --> 00:07:52,898 - Yeah, we should go. - That's the kitchen crew and the chef. 193 00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,966 - They wear really nice suits. - Yeah. 194 00:07:55,069 --> 00:07:57,345 Okay, I want to go find Marjorie's gift. 195 00:07:57,370 --> 00:07:58,127 Me, too. 196 00:07:58,205 --> 00:08:00,259 So, I will make the introductions. 197 00:08:00,284 --> 00:08:01,030 Yeah. 198 00:08:01,108 --> 00:08:03,175 - You're wearing that? - What? 199 00:08:03,277 --> 00:08:08,613 Yeah. Oh. 200 00:08:10,217 --> 00:08:13,685 This is President Lu Chi-Jang... 201 00:08:13,787 --> 00:08:15,386 Secretary General of the Communist Party... 202 00:08:15,411 --> 00:08:16,645 Studied chemical engineering. 203 00:08:16,723 --> 00:08:18,690 He's currently on his second wife, he enjoys tennis. 204 00:08:18,792 --> 00:08:20,659 ...paramount leader of the People's Republic of China. 205 00:08:20,761 --> 00:08:22,594 - This is Zhang Shengxi. - He collects art. 206 00:08:22,696 --> 00:08:25,030 - Premier of the State Council. - His son is a freshman at Georgetown. 207 00:08:25,132 --> 00:08:26,587 This is Xao Jintong, 1st Rank Vice Premier... 208 00:08:26,612 --> 00:08:27,623 London School of Economics. 209 00:08:27,701 --> 00:08:31,369 He enjoys fly fishing and his favorite snack is freeze-dried strawberries. 210 00:08:31,472 --> 00:08:34,272 Thank you. I didn't get any of that except strawberries. 211 00:08:34,374 --> 00:08:36,575 - Okay. - ...the exchanging of gifts. 212 00:08:36,677 --> 00:08:38,977 This is a depiction of the most popular 213 00:08:39,079 --> 00:08:41,980 children's cartoon character in China, Sad Piglet. 214 00:08:42,082 --> 00:08:44,249 It looks just like my daughter Catherine. 215 00:08:44,351 --> 00:08:44,985 Huh? 216 00:08:45,010 --> 00:08:46,909 Your daughter is a beautiful woman 217 00:08:46,987 --> 00:08:48,553 and this is a piglet. 218 00:08:48,655 --> 00:08:51,323 - It's upset. - Oh, no, no, no. I... I love it. 219 00:08:51,425 --> 00:08:54,326 Believe me, if you say SeaWorld to Catherine 220 00:08:54,428 --> 00:08:56,761 you will understand what I'm talking about. 221 00:08:56,864 --> 00:08:59,197 This is just lovely. Thank you very much. 222 00:08:59,299 --> 00:09:00,298 And now our gift. 223 00:09:00,400 --> 00:09:02,167 Oh. 224 00:09:02,269 --> 00:09:04,936 This is a silk robe from the Qing Dynasty. 225 00:09:05,038 --> 00:09:06,972 The dragon symbolizes good fortune. 226 00:09:07,074 --> 00:09:09,307 Your generosity is overwhelming. 227 00:09:09,409 --> 00:09:11,109 - And so... - This is... 228 00:09:11,211 --> 00:09:14,746 Seriously? This is beyond what we imagined. 229 00:09:14,848 --> 00:09:16,581 Or prepared for. 230 00:09:16,683 --> 00:09:19,050 This is a tapestry from Qing Dynasty. 231 00:09:19,153 --> 00:09:21,153 The central image, the peony, 232 00:09:21,255 --> 00:09:24,189 is a symbol of royalty and virtue. 233 00:09:24,291 --> 00:09:28,560 This is exquisite and I really hope that's all. 234 00:09:30,731 --> 00:09:33,398 And now our gifts for you. 235 00:09:33,500 --> 00:09:36,968 This is an American geode, 236 00:09:37,070 --> 00:09:41,740 which symbolizes the solid foundation 237 00:09:41,842 --> 00:09:44,576 that we have between our two countries. 238 00:09:44,678 --> 00:09:46,778 And it sparkles like we hope 239 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:50,148 our conversation will sparkle. 240 00:09:50,250 --> 00:09:52,984 Thank you for this rock. 241 00:09:54,054 --> 00:09:55,353 Oh. 242 00:09:56,924 --> 00:10:00,492 Um, and this wine 243 00:10:00,594 --> 00:10:03,628 from Napa Valley, California. 244 00:10:05,699 --> 00:10:10,001 And this additional wine, also from a local vineyard 245 00:10:10,103 --> 00:10:12,938 in, uh, New Zealand, 246 00:10:13,040 --> 00:10:15,473 which is local to us 247 00:10:15,576 --> 00:10:18,510 and it's also close to Asia, 248 00:10:18,612 --> 00:10:20,278 which makes it local to you 249 00:10:20,380 --> 00:10:22,948 as we are all local friends. 250 00:10:23,050 --> 00:10:25,283 - Thank you. - She's just being polite. 251 00:10:25,385 --> 00:10:28,119 - President Lu does not drink. - Oh, God. 252 00:10:28,222 --> 00:10:32,524 Um, Jang, there's a common saying here in America, 253 00:10:32,626 --> 00:10:34,459 "But wait, there's more." 254 00:10:34,561 --> 00:10:37,395 So I would like to present our final gift to you. 255 00:10:38,865 --> 00:10:42,167 A very meaningful and historic pen 256 00:10:42,269 --> 00:10:47,405 from the Second Hague Conference of 1907. 257 00:10:47,507 --> 00:10:49,541 Gary, the box. 258 00:10:49,643 --> 00:10:51,910 - What? Really? - Yes. 259 00:10:54,481 --> 00:10:57,616 - Oh! - This is a very worthy gift. 260 00:10:57,718 --> 00:11:00,252 - Oh, good. - It is historically significant and apt. 261 00:11:00,354 --> 00:11:02,654 Gold is a very auspicious color for the Chinese. 262 00:11:02,756 --> 00:11:05,023 - It signifies prosperity and good luck. - Oh, great. 263 00:11:05,125 --> 00:11:08,560 - You have pleased them. - Oh, I'm pleased, then. Great. 264 00:11:08,662 --> 00:11:11,038 And now they are discussing how casually you are dressed. 265 00:11:11,063 --> 00:11:11,854 Hmm? 266 00:11:11,932 --> 00:11:15,634 They say you look like a prisoner 267 00:11:15,736 --> 00:11:18,069 or a pirate. 268 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,740 An exercise book. 269 00:11:21,842 --> 00:11:24,276 Why did Menopause not warn us 270 00:11:24,378 --> 00:11:26,344 that the Chinese were going to out gift us like that? 271 00:11:26,446 --> 00:11:28,913 Our intel suggested they hated you. 272 00:11:29,016 --> 00:11:30,682 Ma'am, Dan and Amy for you. 273 00:11:30,784 --> 00:11:31,368 What? 274 00:11:31,393 --> 00:11:33,142 Ma'am, Jonah shot himself in the foot. 275 00:11:33,220 --> 00:11:35,420 Oh, my God. What did he do this time? 276 00:11:35,522 --> 00:11:38,156 No, he literally shot himself in the foot. We're in the ER. 277 00:11:38,258 --> 00:11:40,425 Turn on CNN, ma'am. It's on right now. 278 00:11:40,527 --> 00:11:42,093 Turn on the... 279 00:11:42,195 --> 00:11:45,697 These are the woods where I used to hunt with my stepfather. 280 00:11:45,799 --> 00:11:47,666 And he taught me the proper... 281 00:11:47,768 --> 00:11:49,968 Jesus! 282 00:11:50,070 --> 00:11:51,403 - Oh, my God. - I'm okay. 283 00:11:51,505 --> 00:11:55,307 Oh, my God. 284 00:11:55,409 --> 00:11:58,843 - It's not funny, Ben. - I know, it's terrible. 285 00:11:58,945 --> 00:12:01,346 - A little bit of blood. - You are, it's all over the place. 286 00:12:01,448 --> 00:12:05,350 Jonah shot himself in the eye with a rubber band in second grade. 287 00:12:05,452 --> 00:12:07,786 I tell him now what I told him then... 288 00:12:07,888 --> 00:12:09,387 guns can be dangerous. 289 00:12:09,489 --> 00:12:11,156 We're all praying for his recovery. 290 00:12:11,258 --> 00:12:13,124 So lay it on me. How bad is it? 291 00:12:13,226 --> 00:12:15,527 It's a complicated fracture. Shattered some bone. 292 00:12:15,629 --> 00:12:18,330 - They say it's gonna take... - No, not for him, for me. 293 00:12:18,432 --> 00:12:21,099 Right. Critical condition, but we're not throwing in the... 294 00:12:21,201 --> 00:12:22,701 Okay, I'm not listening to any more of this. 295 00:12:22,803 --> 00:12:24,502 That's New Hampshire for O'Brien. 296 00:12:24,604 --> 00:12:26,905 - We got to have those factories now. - Ni hao. 297 00:12:27,007 --> 00:12:29,374 President Lu requests to go on a nature walk with you. 298 00:12:29,476 --> 00:12:31,142 Well, I'm the president. I don't walk. 299 00:12:31,244 --> 00:12:33,778 He is also the president and he likes to walk. 300 00:12:33,880 --> 00:12:35,280 On a walk? 301 00:12:35,382 --> 00:12:38,149 Camp David is where President Eisenhower came 302 00:12:38,251 --> 00:12:40,452 to recover after his heart attack. 303 00:12:40,554 --> 00:12:43,588 Yeah. 304 00:12:43,690 --> 00:12:45,457 Is he okay? 305 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:49,227 President Eis... he's pass... he's dead. He's long gone. 306 00:12:49,329 --> 00:12:52,664 Now this path was originally used by F.D.R. for his morning strolls. 307 00:12:52,766 --> 00:12:54,232 Or rolls, I should say. 308 00:12:54,334 --> 00:12:55,867 Uh, do you have more gum? 309 00:12:55,969 --> 00:12:57,569 Can I bum a piece of gum? 310 00:12:57,671 --> 00:13:00,071 Uh, may I chew gum with you? 311 00:13:01,408 --> 00:13:04,743 Thank you. Chinese gum, huh? 312 00:13:04,845 --> 00:13:06,845 Pretty cool. Never had it. 313 00:13:09,149 --> 00:13:11,816 Oh, wow. It's got a kick. 314 00:13:11,918 --> 00:13:13,418 Who knew? 315 00:13:13,520 --> 00:13:15,720 Thank... oh, hang on. 316 00:13:15,822 --> 00:13:17,589 I have just the thing. 317 00:13:17,691 --> 00:13:20,525 - Gracias. - Sorry, no, no. Wrong language. 318 00:13:20,627 --> 00:13:22,327 Well, we need to work together 319 00:13:22,429 --> 00:13:24,763 to better engage with North Korea 320 00:13:24,865 --> 00:13:27,932 because the North Koreans are people like us. 321 00:13:28,034 --> 00:13:30,235 Except without any food. 322 00:13:30,337 --> 00:13:32,737 Hi, Mom. Oh, I'm so happy to see you. 323 00:13:32,839 --> 00:13:34,973 - No, no. - Just to be clear, my girlfriend and I 324 00:13:35,075 --> 00:13:37,142 aren't just vegan, we're raw vegan 325 00:13:37,244 --> 00:13:42,180 which means no meat, no dairy, and absolutely nothing cooked at all. 326 00:13:44,151 --> 00:13:46,351 - Thank you. - Okay, good. 327 00:13:46,453 --> 00:13:50,121 Mom, come back soon, okay? Monica's making some nutmeg soy butter. 328 00:13:50,223 --> 00:13:52,791 Oh, how wonderful. Thank you. 329 00:13:52,893 --> 00:13:55,593 Ah, Jang, that was my daughter 330 00:13:55,695 --> 00:13:58,396 and she obviously did not recognize you. 331 00:13:58,498 --> 00:14:03,168 She doesn't understand anything about global politics. 332 00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:07,439 My family is here as a cover story. 333 00:14:10,844 --> 00:14:12,977 No, but I didn't... I didn't do that. 334 00:14:13,079 --> 00:14:15,580 I'm not... I didn't make that face. 335 00:14:15,682 --> 00:14:18,716 Shall we carry on this way? 336 00:14:18,819 --> 00:14:21,419 Can you translate "we need to get a new translator"? 337 00:14:21,521 --> 00:14:23,855 - Marvin Gardens. - You want it? 338 00:14:23,957 --> 00:14:26,257 Catherine, can I borrow 200 Monopoly dollars? 339 00:14:26,359 --> 00:14:28,359 Oh, everybody's still awake. 340 00:14:28,462 --> 00:14:29,794 - Hi. - Hi. 341 00:14:29,896 --> 00:14:32,764 Is that Marjorie's gift from security? 342 00:14:34,868 --> 00:14:36,768 Yes. 343 00:14:36,870 --> 00:14:39,771 Ma'am, I mean, you really didn't need to. 344 00:14:39,873 --> 00:14:41,272 Oh. 345 00:14:41,374 --> 00:14:44,909 Ma'am, this is stunning. 346 00:14:45,011 --> 00:14:48,046 Well, it's... it's vintage. 347 00:14:48,148 --> 00:14:50,114 Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. 348 00:14:50,217 --> 00:14:53,651 Feels like it was woven out of Catherine's silken hair. Feel this. 349 00:14:53,753 --> 00:14:56,421 - Aw. - I thought you might enjoy something... 350 00:14:56,523 --> 00:14:59,023 - Oh, my God. - ...that was like her hair. 351 00:14:59,125 --> 00:15:01,426 - Thank you. Thank you so much. - Oh, you're welcome. Ow. 352 00:15:01,528 --> 00:15:03,761 Mom, I can't believe that. It's gorgeous. 353 00:15:03,864 --> 00:15:05,630 - I got to go to bed. - It was my turn. 354 00:15:05,732 --> 00:15:07,532 - Good night. - Good night. 355 00:15:07,634 --> 00:15:10,268 You know that's government property, right? 356 00:15:10,370 --> 00:15:13,204 - You just committed a federal crime. - It's real. 357 00:15:17,644 --> 00:15:20,378 - You got to see this. - Jesus, those are your pajamas? 358 00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:23,047 It's the outfit I picture when I'm trying not to come. 359 00:15:23,149 --> 00:15:24,983 - Who's that? - Oh... 360 00:15:25,085 --> 00:15:27,385 Judy Sherman claims she's for New Hampshire, 361 00:15:27,487 --> 00:15:29,153 - but what's her real agenda? - What is this? 362 00:15:29,256 --> 00:15:31,756 You need to be more careful. Guns can be dangerous. 363 00:15:31,858 --> 00:15:33,191 On election day, 364 00:15:33,293 --> 00:15:36,194 tell Judy Sherman you care about freedom. 365 00:15:36,296 --> 00:15:38,463 - What the fuck is going on? - Look, it's everywhere. 366 00:15:38,565 --> 00:15:40,999 ...Sherman claims she's for New Hampshire... 367 00:15:41,101 --> 00:15:43,001 Oh, my God. Hey. 368 00:15:45,672 --> 00:15:48,239 It's the NRA. 369 00:15:48,341 --> 00:15:50,942 It's a Christmas miracle. 370 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:56,080 All right, well, I'm gonna get back to this, so I'll see you later. 371 00:15:57,684 --> 00:16:00,318 Okay, Kent, best guess, is New Hampshire back in play? 372 00:16:00,420 --> 00:16:03,021 Ma'am, I don't even use the colloquial phrase "I guess." 373 00:16:03,123 --> 00:16:06,257 - Get Dan and Amy right now. - The Chinese are ready. 374 00:16:06,359 --> 00:16:08,259 - She never knocks. - Uh, Minna, 375 00:16:08,361 --> 00:16:10,662 I am right in the middle of something. 376 00:16:10,764 --> 00:16:13,865 Selina, do I need to remind you how sensitive the Chinese are to promptness? 377 00:16:13,967 --> 00:16:16,801 Then why is my wonton soup so cold every time they deliver it? 378 00:16:16,903 --> 00:16:18,202 What? 379 00:16:18,305 --> 00:16:21,439 Minna, I'm the middle of an international emergency. 380 00:16:21,541 --> 00:16:24,309 - Um, it's in the Middle East. - Shh. 381 00:16:24,411 --> 00:16:26,444 It is in Kuwait and that's all I can say. 382 00:16:26,546 --> 00:16:27,679 - Kuwait? - Yes. 383 00:16:27,781 --> 00:16:29,581 That is so strange. 384 00:16:29,683 --> 00:16:32,650 Because Amir Al-Khabat and myself, we follow each other on Instagram. 385 00:16:32,752 --> 00:16:35,753 Only five minutes ago, he posted a picture of his dinner salad. 386 00:16:35,855 --> 00:16:38,256 Ah, well, it happened 387 00:16:38,358 --> 00:16:41,259 right after he had that salad, in fact. 388 00:16:41,361 --> 00:16:44,095 Sort of an intermezzo emergency. 389 00:16:44,197 --> 00:16:46,097 - Oop, I got Dan. - Al-Egan. 390 00:16:46,199 --> 00:16:48,900 Yeah, the ambassador to Kuwait's liaison. 391 00:16:49,002 --> 00:16:52,103 Thank you. As-salaam-alaikum, Dan. 392 00:16:52,205 --> 00:16:54,439 - Okay, I will take them for a walk. - Yeah. 393 00:16:54,541 --> 00:16:55,607 Yeah. Okay. 394 00:16:55,709 --> 00:16:57,575 - Uh-huh. - Thank you. 395 00:16:57,677 --> 00:17:00,011 Okay, so now we love the NRA. 396 00:17:00,557 --> 00:17:06,117 _ 397 00:17:08,462 --> 00:17:12,196 _ 398 00:17:14,694 --> 00:17:15,660 Huh? 399 00:17:19,966 --> 00:17:21,766 The Chinese are very upset. 400 00:17:21,868 --> 00:17:23,301 They have changed the terms of the deal. 401 00:17:23,403 --> 00:17:25,670 - What? - The Chinese request the United States 402 00:17:25,772 --> 00:17:29,173 drop its objections to China's claim of the Diaoyu Islands. 403 00:17:29,275 --> 00:17:31,209 How do I put this delicately? 404 00:17:31,311 --> 00:17:35,546 The Chinese were very disturbed by a recent incident. 405 00:17:35,649 --> 00:17:36,881 What? What incident? 406 00:17:36,983 --> 00:17:39,283 With your daughter. 407 00:17:39,386 --> 00:17:42,053 Oh, my God. Minna, seriously, 408 00:17:42,155 --> 00:17:44,255 that was a complete honest mistake. 409 00:17:44,357 --> 00:17:45,690 Catherine was just confused. 410 00:17:45,792 --> 00:17:48,826 But you are her mother. You did not stop her. 411 00:17:48,928 --> 00:17:52,096 How could I have stopped her? I had to let her finish. 412 00:17:52,198 --> 00:17:54,198 You're a mother. You've got a son. 413 00:17:54,300 --> 00:17:56,034 I'm sure you've done it before. 414 00:17:56,136 --> 00:17:57,635 - You've been in this position. - No, I have not. 415 00:17:57,737 --> 00:17:59,904 This happens occasionally in Iceland, 416 00:18:00,006 --> 00:18:01,773 but there it's just an accident. 417 00:18:01,875 --> 00:18:03,541 - What? - What? 418 00:18:03,643 --> 00:18:06,511 God, this was their real demand from the beginning. 419 00:18:06,613 --> 00:18:08,880 I mean, those islands didn't come out of nowhere. 420 00:18:08,982 --> 00:18:10,915 Actually, they did. The Chinese created islands 421 00:18:11,017 --> 00:18:12,784 by piling sediment from under the sea... 422 00:18:12,886 --> 00:18:15,153 Madam President, you can't give them these islands. 423 00:18:15,255 --> 00:18:16,854 It'll destabilize the whole region. 424 00:18:16,956 --> 00:18:19,057 Will you please go and talk to Chi-Jang and try... 425 00:18:19,159 --> 00:18:22,093 I will try, but I don't know how much I'm going to be able to get his ear. 426 00:18:22,195 --> 00:18:25,163 But what you're gonna need to do is let him get a word in. 427 00:18:25,265 --> 00:18:29,200 Okay, well, you know what? This reminds me of negotiations between India and Bhutan. 428 00:18:29,302 --> 00:18:31,602 - Okay, this is what I'm talking about. - Bhutan was being stubborn. 429 00:18:31,705 --> 00:18:33,371 So, I've got to go check on my other prom date. 430 00:18:33,473 --> 00:18:34,872 Okay? I just... 431 00:18:34,974 --> 00:18:37,041 - Yes? - I'm sorry, do you know where I can get 432 00:18:37,143 --> 00:18:39,277 any more of this amazing Chinese gum? 433 00:18:39,379 --> 00:18:40,778 It's nicotine gum. 434 00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:42,480 Oh, no. 435 00:18:51,458 --> 00:18:53,524 Well, that does not change the fact 436 00:18:53,626 --> 00:18:58,029 that our friends in Japan still have claims to the Diaoyu Islands. 437 00:18:58,131 --> 00:19:00,631 President Lu says dropping your objections 438 00:19:00,734 --> 00:19:04,135 must be part of any deal. 439 00:19:04,237 --> 00:19:06,070 Well, that is unacceptable. 440 00:19:06,172 --> 00:19:09,006 - Unacceptable! - She never does this. 441 00:19:09,109 --> 00:19:12,343 I mean, I will storm out. Here I go. 442 00:19:14,614 --> 00:19:18,015 No way. It's unacceptable! 443 00:19:18,118 --> 00:19:20,418 This is not happening. 444 00:19:20,520 --> 00:19:23,221 In all honesty, she's never done this. 445 00:19:25,699 --> 00:19:29,470 _ 446 00:19:29,495 --> 00:19:32,072 _ 447 00:19:32,932 --> 00:19:34,766 I know two million sounds like a lot, sweetie. 448 00:19:34,868 --> 00:19:37,568 It's not. It's a small price to pay 449 00:19:37,670 --> 00:19:39,971 to save the Brazilian rain forest. 450 00:19:40,073 --> 00:19:43,141 But aren't you cutting down the rain forest in order to build the resort? 451 00:19:43,243 --> 00:19:46,511 So we can conserve the rest. 452 00:19:46,613 --> 00:19:48,613 It's a virtuous cycle. 453 00:19:48,715 --> 00:19:50,848 - Well, I guess that makes sense. - Hey! Hey! 454 00:19:50,950 --> 00:19:51,767 Hi, Mom. 455 00:19:51,792 --> 00:19:54,242 What are you guys doing all the way out here? 456 00:19:54,320 --> 00:19:55,586 We can talk about this later. 457 00:19:55,688 --> 00:19:57,522 I'll leave the pamphlets on your pillow. 458 00:19:57,624 --> 00:20:00,925 - Thanks, Dad. - Darling. Lee. 459 00:20:01,027 --> 00:20:03,027 Okay, listen to me. 460 00:20:03,129 --> 00:20:05,663 If you want to get advice or talk about money, 461 00:20:05,765 --> 00:20:07,098 you can come to me, okay? 462 00:20:07,200 --> 00:20:09,233 I've got the whole Treasury Department. 463 00:20:09,335 --> 00:20:11,536 And they're, you know... 464 00:20:11,638 --> 00:20:13,571 they've been better, I realize. 465 00:20:13,673 --> 00:20:17,008 I mean, Daddy loves you, sweetheart, 466 00:20:17,110 --> 00:20:20,144 but he's a crook. 467 00:20:20,246 --> 00:20:21,546 - I know. - Right? 468 00:20:21,648 --> 00:20:23,514 - Oh, excuse me. - I just thought I could... 469 00:20:23,616 --> 00:20:26,150 I don't mean to interrupt an intimate moment, 470 00:20:26,252 --> 00:20:30,154 it's just that there have been seismic developments in the negotiations. 471 00:20:30,256 --> 00:20:31,956 You have really rattled the Chinese leaders. 472 00:20:32,058 --> 00:20:33,257 - Oh. - Chinese leaders? 473 00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,259 - Yes, Catherine. - Seriously, Mom? 474 00:20:35,361 --> 00:20:38,162 I think he is going to use the gold pen from the Second Hague Convention very soon. 475 00:20:38,264 --> 00:20:40,898 Your mother has given an amazing pen to the Chinese leaders. 476 00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:43,501 - It's gold... - She knows... she knows about that pen. 477 00:20:43,603 --> 00:20:46,504 You are so terrible. 478 00:20:46,606 --> 00:20:48,840 - Catherine. - No. 479 00:20:48,942 --> 00:20:50,675 - Catherine. Okay. - Sorry. 480 00:20:50,777 --> 00:20:53,044 Even labor and delivery with her was a nightmare. 481 00:20:53,146 --> 00:20:54,245 Oh, yes? Why is that? 482 00:20:54,347 --> 00:20:55,580 You have a very narrow vagina? 483 00:20:55,682 --> 00:20:57,281 Well, tight. In the States we say tight. 484 00:20:57,383 --> 00:21:00,985 The Chinese economy is in a worse state than anyone realized. 485 00:21:01,087 --> 00:21:02,820 These sanctions, they are really crippling them. 486 00:21:02,922 --> 00:21:05,122 And Chi-Jang, he is a proud, stubborn man. 487 00:21:05,225 --> 00:21:07,058 Like a Chinese Mr. Darcy. 488 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:09,393 But stupid also, like a Chinese Mr. Bingley. 489 00:21:09,495 --> 00:21:10,795 I love "Mary Poppins." 490 00:21:10,897 --> 00:21:13,831 So if the United States lifts the sanctions 491 00:21:13,933 --> 00:21:16,534 and is prepared to meet their demands for industrial metals 492 00:21:16,636 --> 00:21:20,838 for the next 25 years, the Chinese might... 493 00:21:20,940 --> 00:21:25,343 might be prepared to discuss Tibet. 494 00:21:25,445 --> 00:21:28,546 - To bet on what? - Wait, to talk about freeing Tibet? 495 00:21:28,648 --> 00:21:31,082 No, they are prepared to discuss a framework for talks 496 00:21:31,184 --> 00:21:32,917 aimed at a possible path to self-determination. 497 00:21:33,019 --> 00:21:35,686 - I'm freeing Tibet? - No, no, not free. 498 00:21:35,788 --> 00:21:38,890 It would likely be one country, two systems similar to Hong Kong. 499 00:21:38,992 --> 00:21:41,492 - That's it. - Bono's gonna shit his sunglasses. 500 00:21:41,594 --> 00:21:44,762 That is like some man on the moon legacy shit. 501 00:21:44,864 --> 00:21:49,400 My God, Selina Meyer, the woman who freed Tibet. 502 00:21:49,502 --> 00:21:51,202 Not... no, really, not free. 503 00:21:51,304 --> 00:21:53,037 What about the factories in Ohio? 504 00:21:53,139 --> 00:21:54,906 Jonah's ahead in all the latest polls. 505 00:21:55,008 --> 00:21:57,575 Fuck those factories, man. I'm freeing Tibet. 506 00:21:57,677 --> 00:21:59,543 - Fuck it! - Really, not freeing. 507 00:21:59,646 --> 00:22:01,312 It is, of course, tragic 508 00:22:01,414 --> 00:22:04,115 for the unemployed workers of Ohio and North Carolina. 509 00:22:04,217 --> 00:22:05,650 Well, they should have tried going to college. 510 00:22:05,752 --> 00:22:07,752 Worry about your own unemployment in Finland. 511 00:22:07,854 --> 00:22:09,487 We don't have unemployment in Finland. 512 00:22:09,589 --> 00:22:12,590 I'm gonna win a Nobel fucking Peace Prize, you guys. 513 00:22:12,692 --> 00:22:14,959 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 514 00:22:15,061 --> 00:22:16,894 - Oh, sorry. Are you all right? - It's okay. 515 00:22:16,996 --> 00:22:19,497 And Tibet will have a new future. 516 00:22:19,599 --> 00:22:22,076 Oh, God, sorry, sorry. Excuse me. Hey, babe. 517 00:22:22,101 --> 00:22:23,091 Hare Krishna. 518 00:22:23,169 --> 00:22:25,036 Hi. How was the ultrasound? 519 00:22:27,807 --> 00:22:29,974 Twins? Oh, my God. 520 00:22:30,076 --> 00:22:32,810 Oh, no, I'm twice as happy now. 521 00:22:34,109 --> 00:22:36,805 Hmm, who should I vote for, huh? 522 00:22:36,883 --> 00:22:38,382 Pow, pow. 523 00:22:38,484 --> 00:22:42,520 Who should I vote for? You can't teach that. 524 00:22:42,622 --> 00:22:44,422 I hope he votes for himself. 525 00:22:44,524 --> 00:22:47,658 Oh, I'm sorry. I need another ballot. 526 00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,261 I just... I just need another ballot. 527 00:22:50,363 --> 00:22:52,797 Pow, pow. 528 00:22:52,899 --> 00:22:54,632 I don't want to talk to you. 529 00:22:54,734 --> 00:22:56,600 I want to tell you something, 530 00:22:56,703 --> 00:22:59,537 but it's very confidential, okay? 531 00:22:59,639 --> 00:23:02,506 Mommy is going to free Tibet. 532 00:23:02,608 --> 00:23:04,141 I don't care. 533 00:23:04,243 --> 00:23:06,510 Catherine, come on, honey, remember when you were little 534 00:23:06,612 --> 00:23:09,880 and you had that "Free Tibet" sticker and you put it up on the wall 535 00:23:09,983 --> 00:23:13,818 and we couldn't get it off, remember, because you put it on wallpaper inexplicably. 536 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:16,587 Hey, Kit-Cat. It's me. Can I come in? 537 00:23:16,689 --> 00:23:18,122 Just you. 538 00:23:20,927 --> 00:23:24,428 - Hey, baby. - Well, yeah. 539 00:23:31,938 --> 00:23:33,471 Wonderful. 540 00:23:33,573 --> 00:23:36,207 - Gan bei! - Gan bei! 541 00:23:37,577 --> 00:23:39,477 And now, let us celebrate 542 00:23:39,579 --> 00:23:42,380 with a traditional Christmas feast. 543 00:23:42,482 --> 00:23:44,815 This is a... 544 00:23:46,953 --> 00:23:50,021 culturally significant and traditional... 545 00:23:50,123 --> 00:23:52,223 - Freedom log. - ...freedom log. 546 00:23:52,325 --> 00:23:56,494 Why don't we slice that up for everyone to enjoy? 547 00:23:56,596 --> 00:24:01,332 You know, we have a statement that is ready for release. 548 00:24:03,369 --> 00:24:05,202 There will be no statement. 549 00:24:05,304 --> 00:24:07,371 These are very delicate issues 550 00:24:07,473 --> 00:24:08,672 and cannot be rushed. 551 00:24:08,775 --> 00:24:09,974 Oh, yes, of course. 552 00:24:10,076 --> 00:24:12,143 I understand that completely. 553 00:24:12,245 --> 00:24:16,881 Although, perhaps when things are as significant as Tibet, 554 00:24:16,983 --> 00:24:22,086 things are accidently leaked to the press 555 00:24:22,188 --> 00:24:25,589 so that the world may know of our accomplishments. 556 00:24:29,662 --> 00:24:32,163 It would be very unfortunate if it also leaked 557 00:24:32,265 --> 00:24:36,300 that you lied to your country about our hacking of your tweets. 558 00:24:36,402 --> 00:24:38,069 That is ridiculous. 559 00:24:38,171 --> 00:24:40,671 We have your emails to prove it. 560 00:24:42,708 --> 00:24:46,644 Okay, well, we can just wait for you guys to release a statement. 561 00:24:46,746 --> 00:24:48,913 - Xiè xie. - Xiè xie. 562 00:24:50,983 --> 00:24:52,049 Minna. 563 00:24:54,720 --> 00:24:56,720 Mr. McLintock? 564 00:24:56,823 --> 00:24:58,856 - Mm-hmm. - Good news. 565 00:24:58,958 --> 00:25:00,791 Your adoption paper has been approved. 566 00:25:00,893 --> 00:25:04,161 You and your wife soon will have a Chinese baby. 567 00:25:04,263 --> 00:25:05,963 Congratulations. 568 00:25:08,367 --> 00:25:09,900 What is happening? 569 00:25:10,002 --> 00:25:11,402 Well, good-bye, Andrew. 570 00:25:11,504 --> 00:25:14,438 Catherine has any questions about the Brazil investment, 571 00:25:14,540 --> 00:25:16,440 - always available. - I have a question. 572 00:25:16,542 --> 00:25:19,743 Is it actually an investment in Brazil? 573 00:25:19,846 --> 00:25:20,978 I can take this if you'd like. 574 00:25:21,080 --> 00:25:22,813 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah, sure. 575 00:25:22,915 --> 00:25:24,815 - Thank you for everything, ma'am. - Oh, you're so welcome. 576 00:25:24,917 --> 00:25:27,952 All right, wheels up in 10 minutes on Marine One. 577 00:25:28,054 --> 00:25:29,353 Pick up the... 578 00:25:29,455 --> 00:25:31,655 - Oh, hi, Catherine. - Really? 579 00:25:31,757 --> 00:25:33,324 - What? - It's official. 580 00:25:33,426 --> 00:25:35,759 At 8:20 this evening, the Widow Sherman conceded. 581 00:25:35,862 --> 00:25:38,429 Oh, H.R. Fucknstuf, Jonah won the election? 582 00:25:38,531 --> 00:25:39,425 It was a small margin. 583 00:25:39,450 --> 00:25:41,523 But still counts as a sign of the apocalypse. 584 00:25:41,601 --> 00:25:45,035 - So Jonah's gonna vote for me and I'm... - Gonna be president! 585 00:25:45,138 --> 00:25:47,004 - I've got to call him. - I got him. He's right here. 586 00:25:47,106 --> 00:25:48,706 Oh, my God. 587 00:25:48,808 --> 00:25:50,374 Congressman Ryan. 588 00:25:50,476 --> 00:25:52,243 Hello, Madam President. 589 00:25:52,345 --> 00:25:54,745 - Or should I call you colleague now? - I wouldn't. 590 00:25:54,847 --> 00:25:56,514 And I just want to let you know that I, 591 00:25:56,616 --> 00:25:58,549 Congressman Jonah Ryan, 592 00:25:58,651 --> 00:26:02,153 will personally deliver you the vote that delivers you the presidency. 593 00:26:02,255 --> 00:26:05,623 - That means so much to me. - Ma'am, while I have you on the phone, 594 00:26:05,725 --> 00:26:08,759 New Hampshire is struggling with an epidemic of opiate addict... 595 00:26:08,861 --> 00:26:10,161 Yeah, I'm not gonna... 596 00:26:10,263 --> 00:26:11,695 Oh! Oh, God. 597 00:26:11,797 --> 00:26:14,498 - Oh, good. That goes in my bag. - Yeah. 598 00:26:18,871 --> 00:26:21,572 I can elect anyone in New Hampshire. 599 00:26:21,674 --> 00:26:24,542 - I can elect a Muslim AIDS virus. - Okay, Jeff. 600 00:26:24,644 --> 00:26:27,311 A terrorist fucking AIDS virus 601 00:26:27,413 --> 00:26:30,347 in the tiniest suicide vest ever made, 602 00:26:30,449 --> 00:26:32,149 I could make it governor of New Hampshire. 603 00:26:32,251 --> 00:26:33,551 Okay, Jeff, you're drunk. 604 00:26:33,653 --> 00:26:35,819 New Hampshire, wow. Wow, New Hampshire. 605 00:26:35,922 --> 00:26:37,121 Thank you. 606 00:26:37,223 --> 00:26:40,558 Oh, my God. I did this. 607 00:26:40,660 --> 00:26:43,694 We just elected Jonah to Congress. 608 00:26:43,796 --> 00:26:47,097 Looking around, I see so many familiar faces of people 609 00:26:47,200 --> 00:26:50,334 - that supported me and believed in me. - Yeah. 610 00:26:50,436 --> 00:26:52,503 And I see a few that didn't. 611 00:26:52,605 --> 00:26:54,171 Like Jessica Thompson. 612 00:26:54,273 --> 00:26:57,074 Hey, Jessica. Jessica, I see you there. 613 00:26:57,176 --> 00:26:59,043 Yeah, it's been a long time since high school. 614 00:26:59,145 --> 00:27:00,711 I like what you did with your hair. 615 00:27:00,813 --> 00:27:03,113 - Do you like what I did with my life? - Oh! 616 00:27:03,216 --> 00:27:06,283 Jimmy O'Connor, I've been waiting 20 years to say this to you. 617 00:27:06,385 --> 00:27:09,053 Oh, my God, I did this. 618 00:27:09,155 --> 00:27:11,355 You just elected Jonah to Congress. 619 00:27:11,457 --> 00:27:13,857 I think that you are the spaz. 620 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:15,626 But through it all, 621 00:27:15,728 --> 00:27:19,763 there was one person who truly believed in Jonah Ryan 622 00:27:19,865 --> 00:27:22,166 and that was Jonah Ryan. 623 00:27:22,268 --> 00:27:23,734 This is my dream, 624 00:27:23,836 --> 00:27:26,470 that you can believe in yourself so hard 625 00:27:26,572 --> 00:27:28,906 that you eventually become a congressman. 626 00:27:29,008 --> 00:27:31,508 Thank you, New Hampshire. Thank you. 627 00:27:31,611 --> 00:27:34,111 Yeah, well, we're thrilled. Thank you, Congressman. 628 00:27:34,213 --> 00:27:36,780 Jonah is gonna be sworn in with the rest of the freshmen. 629 00:27:36,882 --> 00:27:37,891 Yeah. 630 00:27:37,916 --> 00:27:40,942 Mom, I've come to a decision, by the way, 631 00:27:41,020 --> 00:27:42,853 about the Palm Beach house. 632 00:27:42,955 --> 00:27:45,723 - Okay, Catherine, listen... - I'm keeping it. 633 00:27:45,825 --> 00:27:47,891 Oh, Catherine. 634 00:27:47,994 --> 00:27:51,161 And I'm turning it into a sanctuary for rescued farm animals. 635 00:27:51,264 --> 00:27:52,763 What? 636 00:27:52,865 --> 00:27:55,432 - Rescued farm animals. - Yeah, I heard her. 637 00:27:55,534 --> 00:27:56,967 I think it's inspiring, ma'am. 638 00:27:57,069 --> 00:27:58,736 You're taking my daddy's house 639 00:27:58,838 --> 00:28:03,641 and turning it into some Club Med for goats? 640 00:28:03,743 --> 00:28:04,975 Well, it won't be just goats. 641 00:28:05,077 --> 00:28:06,810 I mean, there's so much property 642 00:28:06,912 --> 00:28:08,746 that we were talking about all different kinds of animals. 643 00:28:08,848 --> 00:28:10,481 I mean, you could have ducks or... 644 00:28:10,583 --> 00:28:12,416 - Lame horses. - Pigs. 645 00:28:12,518 --> 00:28:14,618 - Pigs. Potbellied pigs. - Emus. 646 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:17,087 - Oh. - And we could have horses as well. 647 00:28:17,189 --> 00:28:19,056 - Okay. - We could have peacocks, too. 648 00:28:19,158 --> 00:28:21,592 - Can you do llamas? - Oh, yeah, we could have llamas. 649 00:28:21,694 --> 00:28:24,161 - Llamas. - Maybe a three-legged goat.