1 00:00:13,508 --> 00:00:16,295 - sync and corrections by Caio - - www.addic7ed.com - 2 00:00:16,378 --> 00:00:18,359 - Take the apple, Mrs. Sherman! 3 00:00:18,458 --> 00:00:20,825 - Reach out and take it. Take the apple. - Mr. Ryan. 4 00:00:20,922 --> 00:00:22,558 Mr. Ryan, would you please step back to your podium? 5 00:00:22,582 --> 00:00:23,599 She wouldn't take the apple. 6 00:00:23,674 --> 00:00:27,928 Which one of you Johnny Appledick shit for brains came up with that bit? 7 00:00:28,026 --> 00:00:31,033 Hi, ma'am, I just arrived here in Winter Blunderland. 8 00:00:31,130 --> 00:00:34,136 He looked like Ike Turner handing Tina a snack. 9 00:00:34,234 --> 00:00:35,864 I think we've identified the key problem, 10 00:00:35,962 --> 00:00:38,072 which is that Jonah does not interact well with humans. 11 00:00:38,170 --> 00:00:40,760 No, I don't interact well with hag-ass old bitches. 12 00:00:40,858 --> 00:00:43,992 Do you realize that you just handed O'Brien New Hampshire 13 00:00:44,090 --> 00:00:46,776 chained to a radiator with its twat shaved? 14 00:00:46,874 --> 00:00:48,792 - I'm hanging up! - I'm sorry, Mom. 15 00:00:48,890 --> 00:00:50,616 You know what? On the positive side, 16 00:00:50,714 --> 00:00:54,136 now I can just try and concentrate on our little family weekend. 17 00:00:54,234 --> 00:00:57,016 - Just us Meyers. - Well, then why is Gary here? 18 00:00:57,114 --> 00:00:59,800 - I mean, no offense. - Gary's family, too. 19 00:00:59,898 --> 00:01:00,641 Oh, thank you. 20 00:01:00,665 --> 00:01:02,895 I'm just really excited to have this time 21 00:01:02,971 --> 00:01:06,328 for you and Dad and Monny to get to know the real Marjorie. 22 00:01:06,426 --> 00:01:09,208 I mean, fun Marjorie, not just Marjorie the Secret Service agent. 23 00:01:09,306 --> 00:01:12,057 Oh, I'm excited to get to know fun Marjorie, too. 24 00:01:12,154 --> 00:01:13,656 When is she arriving? 25 00:01:16,250 --> 00:01:18,968 I'm just kidding. I'm just teasing. 26 00:01:20,442 --> 00:01:22,744 Whoo-hoo-hoo! The president is driving. 27 00:01:22,842 --> 00:01:24,856 - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Look out. 28 00:01:24,954 --> 00:01:27,288 Bump. How about that? 29 00:01:27,386 --> 00:01:29,656 - Look! - Dad! Monny! 30 00:01:29,754 --> 00:01:30,537 Kitty Cat! 31 00:01:30,561 --> 00:01:32,911 All right, so the Chinese are gonna be here any minute. 32 00:01:32,986 --> 00:01:35,576 - Yeah. - Beijing has demanded complete secrecy. 33 00:01:35,674 --> 00:01:39,160 So you're gonna have to keep Charles Ponzi and pussyride away from me. 34 00:01:39,258 --> 00:01:41,432 We Meyers are very resourceful. 35 00:01:41,530 --> 00:01:44,376 You do know you're not really a member of my family, right? 36 00:01:44,474 --> 00:01:45,561 - I do. - Right. 37 00:01:46,714 --> 00:01:48,152 What is that insanity 38 00:01:48,250 --> 00:01:49,816 you're putting all over the tree, Monica? 39 00:01:49,914 --> 00:01:53,720 Oh, this is my homemade cranberry and popcorn tinsel 40 00:01:53,818 --> 00:01:55,928 - that I like to call... - Popcornaments! 41 00:01:56,026 --> 00:01:57,720 Someone's been reading my blog. 42 00:01:57,818 --> 00:01:59,672 I just trademarked the word last week. 43 00:01:59,770 --> 00:02:02,040 It sounds delicious and it's adorable. 44 00:02:02,138 --> 00:02:03,384 So I'm gonna call it delorable. 45 00:02:03,482 --> 00:02:04,792 See? We can all do it. 46 00:02:04,890 --> 00:02:06,073 - Hey, Mom. - Yes? 47 00:02:06,170 --> 00:02:07,672 I just wanted to let you know that Marjorie 48 00:02:07,770 --> 00:02:10,072 is a raw food vegan and she's turned me into one. 49 00:02:10,170 --> 00:02:12,504 Oh, so that's two things she's turned you into. 50 00:02:12,602 --> 00:02:16,472 Yeah, we just thought maybe we could have, like, a sham ham for Christmas. 51 00:02:16,570 --> 00:02:18,553 What is that, sweetie? Is that like tofurkey? 52 00:02:18,650 --> 00:02:20,248 No, ma'am, tofurkey is cooked. 53 00:02:20,346 --> 00:02:23,064 This is a raw log made of mushrooms and soaked walnuts. 54 00:02:23,162 --> 00:02:24,344 But it tastes like a ham? 55 00:02:24,442 --> 00:02:25,720 - Yeah, it's close. - Not at all. 56 00:02:25,818 --> 00:02:27,544 We could all cut back on our meat consum... 57 00:02:27,642 --> 00:02:29,400 I'm terribly sorry, Marjorie. 58 00:02:29,498 --> 00:02:31,224 - I thought you were Selina. - That's okay, sir. 59 00:02:31,322 --> 00:02:32,504 People make that mistake constantly. 60 00:02:32,602 --> 00:02:34,584 How about you touch neither of us? 61 00:02:34,682 --> 00:02:37,624 Okay, I'm gonna go check on that funky food order and... 62 00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:41,016 Mom, I wanted to ask you about something, but I can just talk to Dad about it. 63 00:02:41,114 --> 00:02:42,328 He's better with money stuff. 64 00:02:42,426 --> 00:02:44,024 What money stuff? 65 00:02:44,122 --> 00:02:46,392 Well, it's just that there's so much of it 66 00:02:46,490 --> 00:02:48,152 that it's really tough to know what to do with it. 67 00:02:48,250 --> 00:02:50,200 Uncle George was saying that maybe I should sell the Palm Beach house 68 00:02:50,298 --> 00:02:51,896 so that I could pay off the estate taxes. 69 00:02:51,994 --> 00:02:55,736 Palm Beach house, honey? That was my daddy's favorite house. 70 00:02:55,834 --> 00:02:58,840 Actually, Lee, right now is a fantastic time to sell. 71 00:02:58,938 --> 00:03:01,816 And, Catherine, do you remember that Brazil hotel chain? 72 00:03:01,914 --> 00:03:03,448 - What? - I told them about your veganism 73 00:03:03,546 --> 00:03:06,296 and they decided to convert the whole thing to an eco resort. 74 00:03:06,394 --> 00:03:08,920 - No, they didn't. - I have a prospectus in my briefcase. 75 00:03:09,018 --> 00:03:11,704 I'll tell you what. I think we should not talk about money 76 00:03:11,802 --> 00:03:14,744 during our sort of pre-Christmas Christmas celebration. 77 00:03:14,842 --> 00:03:17,912 Catherine and Marjorie, can you gals go outside 78 00:03:18,010 --> 00:03:19,992 and get some wood to start a fire? 79 00:03:20,090 --> 00:03:22,808 Ma'am, your daughter's dazzling eyes can start a fire themselves. 80 00:03:22,906 --> 00:03:24,408 Okay, well, that's terrifying, 81 00:03:24,506 --> 00:03:26,776 but I actually do think we need to get some wood from outside. 82 00:03:26,874 --> 00:03:29,528 - Yes, ma'am. - Thanks. Gary, we got to go. 83 00:03:29,626 --> 00:03:32,152 Okay, are the Chinese here yet? 84 00:03:32,250 --> 00:03:33,880 Delayed on the road, ma'am. 85 00:03:33,978 --> 00:03:36,088 Presumably driving slowly and not using their signals. 86 00:03:36,186 --> 00:03:38,200 Hey, any updates on Debralee's sonogram? 87 00:03:38,298 --> 00:03:40,024 Nothing. I'm going crazy. 88 00:03:40,122 --> 00:03:42,360 What do you got going there, Depravey Crockett? 89 00:03:42,458 --> 00:03:44,760 You can't go in with a plan. The knife tells you. 90 00:03:44,857 --> 00:03:46,392 Okay, so lay it on me, Ben. 91 00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:47,832 It's all been prenegotiated, ma'am. 92 00:03:47,930 --> 00:03:49,464 In exchange for you lifting the sanctions, 93 00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,992 China's agreed to build an electronics plant in Ohio 94 00:03:52,090 --> 00:03:54,328 and an engine assembly plant in North Carolina. 95 00:03:54,426 --> 00:03:55,992 Okay, so we got North Carolina, Ohio. 96 00:03:56,090 --> 00:03:57,112 That's the presidency for me. 97 00:03:57,210 --> 00:03:58,776 And as per usual, we raised the issue 98 00:03:58,874 --> 00:04:01,496 of the Dalai Lama and the Panchen Lama returning to Tibet. 99 00:04:01,594 --> 00:04:04,120 - Dalai Lama, I'm so sick of him. - He's insufferable. 100 00:04:04,218 --> 00:04:06,104 Do we have a press release ready to go, Mike? 101 00:04:06,202 --> 00:04:07,576 All I got to do is press send and we... 102 00:04:07,674 --> 00:04:09,656 actually, I do need to spell-check this thing. 103 00:04:09,754 --> 00:04:11,992 Ma'am, Minna Häkkinen is through security and headed this way. 104 00:04:12,090 --> 00:04:15,768 How is it that that Asperger salad inserted herself into this situation? 105 00:04:15,866 --> 00:04:18,072 President Lu trusts her. Likes what she did with the IMF. 106 00:04:18,170 --> 00:04:20,344 No, I'll tell you what he likes. Nordic beav. 107 00:04:20,442 --> 00:04:22,104 Irresistible. Ooh! 108 00:04:22,202 --> 00:04:23,672 - Shh. - What? 109 00:04:23,770 --> 00:04:25,784 - Oh, Minna! - Selina. 110 00:04:25,882 --> 00:04:27,800 - Hello. - Hello. I have not seen you 111 00:04:27,898 --> 00:04:30,008 since you failed to vote for me to be head of the IMF. 112 00:04:30,106 --> 00:04:31,768 And, oh, you changed your hair. 113 00:04:31,866 --> 00:04:33,272 Thank you, yes. I have more highlights. 114 00:04:33,370 --> 00:04:37,144 And you changed your eyelids. You had oculoplasty. 115 00:04:37,242 --> 00:04:38,968 - Um... - You look more alert. 116 00:04:39,066 --> 00:04:40,408 Yeah... 117 00:04:40,506 --> 00:04:42,360 Well, the latest poll numbers are in 118 00:04:42,457 --> 00:04:44,568 and you've fallen 20 points behind the Widow Sherman. 119 00:04:44,666 --> 00:04:46,776 We have to keep you away from people. 120 00:04:46,874 --> 00:04:50,328 Yeah, surround you with some trees. Make you look human-sized. 121 00:04:50,426 --> 00:04:53,015 Yeah, back to the natural habitat your nitwit mother 122 00:04:53,114 --> 00:04:55,928 found you in, you fucking shaved Sasquatch. 123 00:04:56,026 --> 00:04:59,352 But the good news is that you're only three points behind Jon H Ryan, whoever that is. 124 00:04:59,450 --> 00:05:02,744 Hey, Slick. What's Blondie's situation? 125 00:05:02,842 --> 00:05:05,464 Does she choke for Coke? 126 00:05:05,562 --> 00:05:07,192 You should ask her. 127 00:05:07,290 --> 00:05:08,280 Yeah. 128 00:05:08,377 --> 00:05:10,232 It's been a very hard year. 129 00:05:10,330 --> 00:05:12,215 The menopause has really taken a hold of me. 130 00:05:12,314 --> 00:05:15,704 - Is that so? Yeah. - Yes. You know... you're menopausal. 131 00:05:15,802 --> 00:05:17,880 - What? - You're menopausal as well. 132 00:05:17,977 --> 00:05:19,224 - No, I'm not. - Well... 133 00:05:19,322 --> 00:05:20,824 - No? - What? 134 00:05:20,922 --> 00:05:22,200 No, you are. 135 00:05:22,298 --> 00:05:24,056 No, you're older than me, so I... 136 00:05:24,154 --> 00:05:26,168 No, I am actually two years younger. 137 00:05:26,265 --> 00:05:27,992 Oh, I still have regular periods, 138 00:05:28,090 --> 00:05:29,848 but my joints, they're very swollen. 139 00:05:29,946 --> 00:05:31,736 You know, I wonder if we can just get back to the Chinese. 140 00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:35,512 The Chinese may try to change the terms of the done deal. 141 00:05:35,610 --> 00:05:36,728 - Really? - Yes. 142 00:05:36,825 --> 00:05:38,072 - But if they do this... - Yeah? 143 00:05:38,170 --> 00:05:40,376 ...you are simply ready to perform the walkout 144 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,296 to convince the Chinese that you will not negotiate 145 00:05:42,394 --> 00:05:44,024 if the terms of the deal are not satisfactory. 146 00:05:44,122 --> 00:05:46,008 - Okay. - You say the terms are unacceptable 147 00:05:46,106 --> 00:05:48,408 and you take both your palms and you place them 148 00:05:48,506 --> 00:05:50,136 firmly on the table like that. 149 00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:52,535 - Oh, God. - Then you walk out. 150 00:05:52,634 --> 00:05:55,160 And then someone must say this is unprecedented. 151 00:05:55,258 --> 00:05:56,983 - She never does this. - Ben can do that. 152 00:05:57,082 --> 00:05:59,640 - Who, me? - It is much harder than it sounds. 153 00:05:59,738 --> 00:06:01,528 - Perhaps we should rehearse? - Absolutely. 154 00:06:01,626 --> 00:06:03,703 So this is unacceptable. 155 00:06:03,802 --> 00:06:06,040 And then, uh, I walk out. 156 00:06:06,137 --> 00:06:08,760 No, that is not credible. You try again. 157 00:06:08,857 --> 00:06:11,192 - This is unacceptable. - Mm-hmm. 158 00:06:11,289 --> 00:06:13,624 No, you see, that's the same, but it's just louder. 159 00:06:13,722 --> 00:06:14,645 She never does this. 160 00:06:14,669 --> 00:06:17,071 Oh, no, that is good. Now, that is convincing. 161 00:06:17,145 --> 00:06:18,872 - Hey, girlies. - Mom. 162 00:06:18,969 --> 00:06:20,888 - Yes, honey? - I want you to open your gift. 163 00:06:20,985 --> 00:06:23,352 Since technically it's early Christmas Eve, I got you something. 164 00:06:23,450 --> 00:06:25,240 What have we got here? 165 00:06:27,642 --> 00:06:28,490 Oh. 166 00:06:28,514 --> 00:06:31,055 It was used in 1907 at the Second Hague Convention. 167 00:06:31,130 --> 00:06:33,944 And I figured you could use it to sign important peace treaties 168 00:06:34,042 --> 00:06:35,448 when you're officially elected. 169 00:06:35,545 --> 00:06:37,464 It's actually lovely, Catherine. 170 00:06:37,561 --> 00:06:40,791 Amex gave me this crazy new card that's made out of black metal. 171 00:06:40,890 --> 00:06:43,671 It truly shows the special 172 00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:46,392 mommy-daughter bond that you and I share. 173 00:06:48,025 --> 00:06:49,720 - So good. - I have an idea. 174 00:06:49,818 --> 00:06:52,632 Marjorie, why don't you open my gift? 175 00:06:52,730 --> 00:06:54,520 Oh, you got Marjorie a gift. 176 00:06:54,618 --> 00:06:57,304 Marjorie's part of the family now, aren't you, pal? 177 00:06:57,402 --> 00:07:00,504 Yeah, I got Marjorie a gift, too. Um, right, Gary? 178 00:07:00,601 --> 00:07:01,816 - Yeah. - Yeah. 179 00:07:01,913 --> 00:07:03,320 - It's beautiful. - Stuck in security. 180 00:07:03,418 --> 00:07:05,560 Stuck in security. I don't know how that happened. 181 00:07:05,657 --> 00:07:07,864 - I got the tracking number. - Okay. Let's see what you got. 182 00:07:10,809 --> 00:07:12,440 Ah, it's an old book. 183 00:07:12,538 --> 00:07:15,448 - Do you like it? - I am overcome with emotion. 184 00:07:15,546 --> 00:07:17,144 Oh, my God. 185 00:07:17,242 --> 00:07:19,799 It's a first edition Gertrude Stein. 186 00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:21,016 That's Marjorie's favorite poet. 187 00:07:21,113 --> 00:07:22,808 How did you know that, Dad? 188 00:07:22,906 --> 00:07:23,426 I listen. 189 00:07:23,450 --> 00:07:25,007 I'm going to put this someplace special. 190 00:07:25,082 --> 00:07:26,392 - Hey. - Hi. 191 00:07:26,490 --> 00:07:28,888 I noticed two golf carts filled with Asian people. 192 00:07:28,986 --> 00:07:33,528 - Yeah, we should go. - That's the kitchen crew and the chef. 193 00:07:33,626 --> 00:07:35,511 - They wear really nice suits. - Yeah. 194 00:07:35,610 --> 00:07:37,793 Okay, I want to go find Marjorie's gift. 195 00:07:37,817 --> 00:07:38,543 Me, too. 196 00:07:38,618 --> 00:07:40,588 So, I will make the introductions. 197 00:07:40,612 --> 00:07:41,327 Yeah. 198 00:07:41,402 --> 00:07:43,384 - You're wearing that? - What? 199 00:07:43,482 --> 00:07:48,599 Yeah. Oh. 200 00:07:50,138 --> 00:07:53,464 This is President Lu Chi-Jang... 201 00:07:53,561 --> 00:07:55,095 Secretary General of the Communist Party... 202 00:07:55,119 --> 00:07:56,302 Studied chemical engineering. 203 00:07:56,377 --> 00:07:58,264 He's currently on his second wife, he enjoys tennis. 204 00:07:58,361 --> 00:08:00,152 ...paramount leader of the People's Republic of China. 205 00:08:00,250 --> 00:08:02,008 - This is Zhang Shengxi. - He collects art. 206 00:08:02,106 --> 00:08:04,344 - Premier of the State Council. - His son is a freshman at Georgetown. 207 00:08:04,442 --> 00:08:05,837 This is Xao Jintong, 1st Rank Vice Premier... 208 00:08:05,861 --> 00:08:06,831 London School of Economics. 209 00:08:06,906 --> 00:08:10,423 He enjoys fly fishing and his favorite snack is freeze-dried strawberries. 210 00:08:10,522 --> 00:08:13,207 Thank you. I didn't get any of that except strawberries. 211 00:08:13,305 --> 00:08:15,416 - Okay. - ...the exchanging of gifts. 212 00:08:15,514 --> 00:08:17,720 This is a depiction of the most popular 213 00:08:17,818 --> 00:08:20,600 children's cartoon character in China, Sad Piglet. 214 00:08:20,698 --> 00:08:22,776 It looks just like my daughter Catherine. 215 00:08:22,874 --> 00:08:23,482 Huh? 216 00:08:23,506 --> 00:08:25,327 Your daughter is a beautiful woman 217 00:08:25,402 --> 00:08:26,903 and this is a piglet. 218 00:08:27,001 --> 00:08:29,560 - It's upset. - Oh, no, no, no. I... I love it. 219 00:08:29,658 --> 00:08:32,440 Believe me, if you say SeaWorld to Catherine 220 00:08:32,538 --> 00:08:34,775 you will understand what I'm talking about. 221 00:08:34,874 --> 00:08:37,111 This is just lovely. Thank you very much. 222 00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:38,167 And now our gift. 223 00:08:38,265 --> 00:08:39,960 Oh. 224 00:08:40,058 --> 00:08:42,615 This is a silk robe from the Qing Dynasty. 225 00:08:42,713 --> 00:08:44,568 The dragon symbolizes good fortune. 226 00:08:44,666 --> 00:08:46,807 Your generosity is overwhelming. 227 00:08:46,905 --> 00:08:48,536 - And so... - This is... 228 00:08:48,633 --> 00:08:52,024 Seriously? This is beyond what we imagined. 229 00:08:52,121 --> 00:08:53,783 Or prepared for. 230 00:08:53,881 --> 00:08:56,151 This is a tapestry from Qing Dynasty. 231 00:08:56,250 --> 00:08:58,168 The central image, the peony, 232 00:08:58,266 --> 00:09:01,080 is a symbol of royalty and virtue. 233 00:09:01,178 --> 00:09:05,272 This is exquisite and I really hope that's all. 234 00:09:07,354 --> 00:09:09,912 And now our gifts for you. 235 00:09:10,009 --> 00:09:13,335 This is an American geode, 236 00:09:13,433 --> 00:09:17,912 which symbolizes the solid foundation 237 00:09:18,010 --> 00:09:20,632 that we have between our two countries. 238 00:09:20,730 --> 00:09:22,744 And it sparkles like we hope 239 00:09:22,841 --> 00:09:25,976 our conversation will sparkle. 240 00:09:26,073 --> 00:09:28,695 Thank you for this rock. 241 00:09:29,722 --> 00:09:30,967 Oh. 242 00:09:32,474 --> 00:09:35,896 Um, and this wine 243 00:09:35,994 --> 00:09:38,903 from Napa Valley, California. 244 00:09:40,890 --> 00:09:45,015 And this additional wine, also from a local vineyard 245 00:09:45,113 --> 00:09:47,832 in, uh, New Zealand, 246 00:09:47,930 --> 00:09:50,263 which is local to us 247 00:09:50,362 --> 00:09:53,176 and it's also close to Asia, 248 00:09:53,274 --> 00:09:54,871 which makes it local to you 249 00:09:54,969 --> 00:09:57,432 as we are all local friends. 250 00:09:57,530 --> 00:09:59,671 - Thank you. - She's just being polite. 251 00:09:59,769 --> 00:10:02,391 - President Lu does not drink. - Oh, God. 252 00:10:02,490 --> 00:10:06,616 Um, Jang, there's a common saying here in America, 253 00:10:06,714 --> 00:10:08,472 "But wait, there's more." 254 00:10:08,569 --> 00:10:11,287 So I would like to present our final gift to you. 255 00:10:12,697 --> 00:10:15,864 A very meaningful and historic pen 256 00:10:15,962 --> 00:10:20,887 from the Second Hague Conference of 1907. 257 00:10:20,985 --> 00:10:22,936 Gary, the box. 258 00:10:23,034 --> 00:10:25,208 - What? Really? - Yes. 259 00:10:27,673 --> 00:10:30,680 - Oh! - This is a very worthy gift. 260 00:10:30,778 --> 00:10:33,208 - Oh, good. - It is historically significant and apt. 261 00:10:33,306 --> 00:10:35,512 Gold is a very auspicious color for the Chinese. 262 00:10:35,610 --> 00:10:37,784 - It signifies prosperity and good luck. - Oh, great. 263 00:10:37,881 --> 00:10:41,176 - You have pleased them. - Oh, I'm pleased, then. Great. 264 00:10:41,274 --> 00:10:43,552 And now they are discussing how casually you are dressed. 265 00:10:43,576 --> 00:10:44,335 Hmm? 266 00:10:44,410 --> 00:10:47,960 They say you look like a prisoner 267 00:10:48,058 --> 00:10:50,295 or a pirate. 268 00:10:51,802 --> 00:10:53,816 An exercise book. 269 00:10:53,914 --> 00:10:56,248 Why did Menopause not warn us 270 00:10:56,346 --> 00:10:58,231 that the Chinese were going to out gift us like that? 271 00:10:58,329 --> 00:11:00,695 Our intel suggested they hated you. 272 00:11:00,794 --> 00:11:02,392 Ma'am, Dan and Amy for you. 273 00:11:02,489 --> 00:11:03,050 What? 274 00:11:03,074 --> 00:11:04,751 Ma'am, Jonah shot himself in the foot. 275 00:11:04,826 --> 00:11:06,936 Oh, my God. What did he do this time? 276 00:11:07,033 --> 00:11:09,560 No, he literally shot himself in the foot. We're in the ER. 277 00:11:09,657 --> 00:11:11,736 Turn on CNN, ma'am. It's on right now. 278 00:11:11,833 --> 00:11:13,335 Turn on the... 279 00:11:13,433 --> 00:11:16,792 These are the woods where I used to hunt with my stepfather. 280 00:11:16,889 --> 00:11:18,680 And he taught me the proper... 281 00:11:18,778 --> 00:11:20,888 Jesus! 282 00:11:20,986 --> 00:11:22,264 - Oh, my God. - I'm okay. 283 00:11:22,362 --> 00:11:26,008 Oh, my God. 284 00:11:26,106 --> 00:11:29,399 - It's not funny, Ben. - I know, it's terrible. 285 00:11:29,497 --> 00:11:31,800 - A little bit of blood. - You are, it's all over the place. 286 00:11:31,897 --> 00:11:35,640 Jonah shot himself in the eye with a rubber band in second grade. 287 00:11:35,737 --> 00:11:37,976 I tell him now what I told him then... 288 00:11:38,074 --> 00:11:39,511 guns can be dangerous. 289 00:11:39,609 --> 00:11:41,208 We're all praying for his recovery. 290 00:11:41,306 --> 00:11:43,095 So lay it on me. How bad is it? 291 00:11:43,193 --> 00:11:45,400 It's a complicated fracture. Shattered some bone. 292 00:11:45,498 --> 00:11:48,088 - They say it's gonna take... - No, not for him, for me. 293 00:11:48,186 --> 00:11:50,744 Right. Critical condition, but we're not throwing in the... 294 00:11:50,841 --> 00:11:52,280 Okay, I'm not listening to any more of this. 295 00:11:52,378 --> 00:11:54,007 That's New Hampshire for O'Brien. 296 00:11:54,105 --> 00:11:56,312 - We got to have those factories now. - Ni hao. 297 00:11:56,410 --> 00:11:58,680 President Lu requests to go on a nature walk with you. 298 00:11:58,777 --> 00:12:00,375 Well, I'm the president. I don't walk. 299 00:12:00,473 --> 00:12:02,903 He is also the president and he likes to walk. 300 00:12:03,001 --> 00:12:04,344 On a walk? 301 00:12:04,442 --> 00:12:07,095 Camp David is where President Eisenhower came 302 00:12:07,193 --> 00:12:09,304 to recover after his heart attack. 303 00:12:09,402 --> 00:12:12,311 Yeah. 304 00:12:12,409 --> 00:12:14,104 Is he okay? 305 00:12:14,202 --> 00:12:17,719 President Eis... he's pass... he's dead. He's long gone. 306 00:12:17,817 --> 00:12:21,016 Now this path was originally used by F.D.R. for his morning strolls. 307 00:12:21,114 --> 00:12:22,519 Or rolls, I should say. 308 00:12:22,617 --> 00:12:24,087 Uh, do you have more gum? 309 00:12:24,185 --> 00:12:25,720 Can I bum a piece of gum? 310 00:12:25,818 --> 00:12:28,119 Uh, may I chew gum with you? 311 00:12:29,402 --> 00:12:32,600 Thank you. Chinese gum, huh? 312 00:12:32,698 --> 00:12:34,616 Pretty cool. Never had it. 313 00:12:36,825 --> 00:12:39,383 Oh, wow. It's got a kick. 314 00:12:39,481 --> 00:12:40,920 Who knew? 315 00:12:41,017 --> 00:12:43,127 Thank... oh, hang on. 316 00:12:43,225 --> 00:12:44,920 I have just the thing. 317 00:12:45,018 --> 00:12:47,735 - Gracias. - Sorry, no, no. Wrong language. 318 00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,464 Well, we need to work together 319 00:12:49,562 --> 00:12:51,800 to better engage with North Korea 320 00:12:51,898 --> 00:12:54,839 because the North Koreans are people like us. 321 00:12:54,937 --> 00:12:57,048 Except without any food. 322 00:12:57,146 --> 00:12:59,447 Hi, Mom. Oh, I'm so happy to see you. 323 00:12:59,545 --> 00:13:01,592 - No, no. - Just to be clear, my girlfriend and I 324 00:13:01,690 --> 00:13:03,672 aren't just vegan, we're raw vegan 325 00:13:03,770 --> 00:13:08,504 which means no meat, no dairy, and absolutely nothing cooked at all. 326 00:13:10,394 --> 00:13:12,504 - Thank you. - Okay, good. 327 00:13:12,601 --> 00:13:16,119 Mom, come back soon, okay? Monica's making some nutmeg soy butter. 328 00:13:16,217 --> 00:13:18,680 Oh, how wonderful. Thank you. 329 00:13:18,778 --> 00:13:21,367 Ah, Jang, that was my daughter 330 00:13:21,465 --> 00:13:24,055 and she obviously did not recognize you. 331 00:13:24,153 --> 00:13:28,632 She doesn't understand anything about global politics. 332 00:13:28,730 --> 00:13:32,728 My family is here as a cover story. 333 00:13:35,993 --> 00:13:38,039 No, but I didn't... I didn't do that. 334 00:13:38,137 --> 00:13:40,535 I'm not... I didn't make that face. 335 00:13:40,633 --> 00:13:43,543 Shall we carry on this way? 336 00:13:43,642 --> 00:13:46,135 Can you translate "we need to get a new translator"? 337 00:13:46,233 --> 00:13:48,471 - Marvin Gardens. - You want it? 338 00:13:48,569 --> 00:13:50,775 Catherine, can I borrow 200 Monopoly dollars? 339 00:13:50,873 --> 00:13:52,791 Oh, everybody's still awake. 340 00:13:52,890 --> 00:13:54,167 - Hi. - Hi. 341 00:13:54,265 --> 00:13:57,016 Is that Marjorie's gift from security? 342 00:13:59,033 --> 00:14:00,856 Yes. 343 00:14:00,953 --> 00:14:03,736 Ma'am, I mean, you really didn't need to. 344 00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:05,175 Oh. 345 00:14:05,273 --> 00:14:08,663 Ma'am, this is stunning. 346 00:14:08,761 --> 00:14:11,672 Well, it's... it's vintage. 347 00:14:11,769 --> 00:14:13,655 Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. 348 00:14:13,754 --> 00:14:17,047 Feels like it was woven out of Catherine's silken hair. Feel this. 349 00:14:17,145 --> 00:14:19,704 - Aw. - I thought you might enjoy something... 350 00:14:19,801 --> 00:14:22,199 - Oh, my God. - ...that was like her hair. 351 00:14:22,297 --> 00:14:24,504 - Thank you. Thank you so much. - Oh, you're welcome. Ow. 352 00:14:24,601 --> 00:14:26,743 Mom, I can't believe that. It's gorgeous. 353 00:14:26,842 --> 00:14:28,535 - I got to go to bed. - It was my turn. 354 00:14:28,633 --> 00:14:30,359 - Good night. - Good night. 355 00:14:30,457 --> 00:14:32,983 You know that's government property, right? 356 00:14:33,081 --> 00:14:35,799 - You just committed a federal crime. - It's real. 357 00:14:40,057 --> 00:14:42,679 - You got to see this. - Jesus, those are your pajamas? 358 00:14:42,777 --> 00:14:45,239 It's the outfit I picture when I'm trying not to come. 359 00:14:45,337 --> 00:14:47,096 - Who's that? - Oh... 360 00:14:47,194 --> 00:14:49,399 Judy Sherman claims she's for New Hampshire, 361 00:14:49,497 --> 00:14:51,095 - but what's her real agenda? - What is this? 362 00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:53,591 You need to be more careful. Guns can be dangerous. 363 00:14:53,689 --> 00:14:54,967 On election day, 364 00:14:55,065 --> 00:14:57,847 tell Judy Sherman you care about freedom. 365 00:14:57,945 --> 00:15:00,024 - What the fuck is going on? - Look, it's everywhere. 366 00:15:00,121 --> 00:15:02,456 ...Sherman claims she's for New Hampshire... 367 00:15:02,554 --> 00:15:04,376 Oh, my God. Hey. 368 00:15:06,937 --> 00:15:09,399 It's the NRA. 369 00:15:09,497 --> 00:15:11,991 It's a Christmas miracle. 370 00:15:14,234 --> 00:15:16,919 All right, well, I'm gonna get back to this, so I'll see you later. 371 00:15:18,457 --> 00:15:20,983 Okay, Kent, best guess, is New Hampshire back in play? 372 00:15:21,081 --> 00:15:23,576 Ma'am, I don't even use the colloquial phrase "I guess." 373 00:15:23,673 --> 00:15:26,679 - Get Dan and Amy right now. - The Chinese are ready. 374 00:15:26,777 --> 00:15:28,599 - She never knocks. - Uh, Minna, 375 00:15:28,697 --> 00:15:30,904 I am right in the middle of something. 376 00:15:31,002 --> 00:15:33,975 Selina, do I need to remind you how sensitive the Chinese are to promptness? 377 00:15:34,073 --> 00:15:36,791 Then why is my wonton soup so cold every time they deliver it? 378 00:15:36,889 --> 00:15:38,135 What? 379 00:15:38,234 --> 00:15:41,239 Minna, I'm the middle of an international emergency. 380 00:15:41,337 --> 00:15:43,992 - Um, it's in the Middle East. - Shh. 381 00:15:44,090 --> 00:15:46,039 It is in Kuwait and that's all I can say. 382 00:15:46,137 --> 00:15:47,224 - Kuwait? - Yes. 383 00:15:47,321 --> 00:15:49,048 That is so strange. 384 00:15:49,146 --> 00:15:51,991 Because Amir Al-Khabat and myself, we follow each other on Instagram. 385 00:15:52,089 --> 00:15:54,967 Only five minutes ago, he posted a picture of his dinner salad. 386 00:15:55,065 --> 00:15:57,367 Ah, well, it happened 387 00:15:57,465 --> 00:16:00,247 right after he had that salad, in fact. 388 00:16:00,345 --> 00:16:02,967 Sort of an intermezzo emergency. 389 00:16:03,065 --> 00:16:04,887 - Oop, I got Dan. - Al-Egan. 390 00:16:04,985 --> 00:16:07,575 Yeah, the ambassador to Kuwait's liaison. 391 00:16:07,673 --> 00:16:10,647 Thank you. As-salaam-alaikum, Dan. 392 00:16:10,745 --> 00:16:12,888 - Okay, I will take them for a walk. - Yeah. 393 00:16:12,985 --> 00:16:14,008 Yeah. Okay. 394 00:16:14,106 --> 00:16:15,895 - Uh-huh. - Thank you. 395 00:16:15,993 --> 00:16:18,231 Okay, so now we love the NRA. 396 00:16:18,755 --> 00:16:24,087 _ 397 00:16:26,336 --> 00:16:29,917 _ 398 00:16:32,313 --> 00:16:33,239 Huh? 399 00:16:37,369 --> 00:16:39,095 The Chinese are very upset. 400 00:16:39,193 --> 00:16:40,567 They have changed the terms of the deal. 401 00:16:40,665 --> 00:16:42,839 - What? - The Chinese request the United States 402 00:16:42,937 --> 00:16:46,199 drop its objections to China's claim of the Diaoyu Islands. 403 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,151 How do I put this delicately? 404 00:16:48,249 --> 00:16:52,311 The Chinese were very disturbed by a recent incident. 405 00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:53,591 What? What incident? 406 00:16:53,689 --> 00:16:55,895 With your daughter. 407 00:16:55,994 --> 00:16:58,551 Oh, my God. Minna, seriously, 408 00:16:58,649 --> 00:17:00,663 that was a complete honest mistake. 409 00:17:00,761 --> 00:17:02,039 Catherine was just confused. 410 00:17:02,137 --> 00:17:05,047 But you are her mother. You did not stop her. 411 00:17:05,145 --> 00:17:08,183 How could I have stopped her? I had to let her finish. 412 00:17:08,281 --> 00:17:10,199 You're a mother. You've got a son. 413 00:17:10,297 --> 00:17:11,960 I'm sure you've done it before. 414 00:17:12,057 --> 00:17:13,495 - You've been in this position. - No, I have not. 415 00:17:13,593 --> 00:17:15,671 This happens occasionally in Iceland, 416 00:17:15,769 --> 00:17:17,464 but there it's just an accident. 417 00:17:17,561 --> 00:17:19,159 - What? - What? 418 00:17:19,257 --> 00:17:22,008 God, this was their real demand from the beginning. 419 00:17:22,105 --> 00:17:24,279 I mean, those islands didn't come out of nowhere. 420 00:17:24,377 --> 00:17:26,231 Actually, they did. The Chinese created islands 421 00:17:26,329 --> 00:17:28,024 by piling sediment from under the sea... 422 00:17:28,121 --> 00:17:30,296 Madam President, you can't give them these islands. 423 00:17:30,393 --> 00:17:31,927 It'll destabilize the whole region. 424 00:17:32,025 --> 00:17:34,040 Will you please go and talk to Chi-Jang and try... 425 00:17:34,137 --> 00:17:36,951 I will try, but I don't know how much I'm going to be able to get his ear. 426 00:17:37,049 --> 00:17:39,896 But what you're gonna need to do is let him get a word in. 427 00:17:39,993 --> 00:17:43,767 Okay, well, you know what? This reminds me of negotiations between India and Bhutan. 428 00:17:43,865 --> 00:17:46,071 - Okay, this is what I'm talking about. - Bhutan was being stubborn. 429 00:17:46,170 --> 00:17:47,767 So, I've got to go check on my other prom date. 430 00:17:47,865 --> 00:17:49,207 Okay? I just... 431 00:17:49,305 --> 00:17:51,287 - Yes? - I'm sorry, do you know where I can get 432 00:17:51,385 --> 00:17:53,431 any more of this amazing Chinese gum? 433 00:17:53,529 --> 00:17:54,871 It's nicotine gum. 434 00:17:54,969 --> 00:17:56,503 Oh, no. 435 00:18:05,113 --> 00:18:07,095 Well, that does not change the fact 436 00:18:07,193 --> 00:18:11,415 that our friends in Japan still have claims to the Diaoyu Islands. 437 00:18:11,513 --> 00:18:13,911 President Lu says dropping your objections 438 00:18:14,010 --> 00:18:17,271 must be part of any deal. 439 00:18:17,369 --> 00:18:19,127 Well, that is unacceptable. 440 00:18:19,225 --> 00:18:21,943 - Unacceptable! - She never does this. 441 00:18:22,041 --> 00:18:25,143 I mean, I will storm out. Here I go. 442 00:18:27,321 --> 00:18:30,583 No way. It's unacceptable! 443 00:18:30,681 --> 00:18:32,887 This is not happening. 444 00:18:32,985 --> 00:18:35,575 In all honesty, she's never done this. 445 00:18:37,952 --> 00:18:41,569 _ 446 00:18:41,592 --> 00:18:44,064 _ 447 00:18:44,889 --> 00:18:46,648 I know two million sounds like a lot, sweetie. 448 00:18:46,745 --> 00:18:49,335 It's not. It's a small price to pay 449 00:18:49,433 --> 00:18:51,639 to save the Brazilian rain forest. 450 00:18:51,737 --> 00:18:54,680 But aren't you cutting down the rain forest in order to build the resort? 451 00:18:54,777 --> 00:18:57,912 So we can conserve the rest. 452 00:18:58,009 --> 00:18:59,927 It's a virtuous cycle. 453 00:19:00,025 --> 00:19:02,071 - Well, I guess that makes sense. - Hey! Hey! 454 00:19:02,169 --> 00:19:02,952 Hi, Mom. 455 00:19:02,976 --> 00:19:05,326 What are you guys doing all the way out here? 456 00:19:05,401 --> 00:19:06,615 We can talk about this later. 457 00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:08,471 I'll leave the pamphlets on your pillow. 458 00:19:08,569 --> 00:19:11,735 - Thanks, Dad. - Darling. Lee. 459 00:19:11,833 --> 00:19:13,751 Okay, listen to me. 460 00:19:13,849 --> 00:19:16,279 If you want to get advice or talk about money, 461 00:19:16,377 --> 00:19:17,655 you can come to me, okay? 462 00:19:17,753 --> 00:19:19,703 I've got the whole Treasury Department. 463 00:19:19,801 --> 00:19:21,911 And they're, you know... 464 00:19:22,009 --> 00:19:23,863 they've been better, I realize. 465 00:19:23,961 --> 00:19:27,159 I mean, Daddy loves you, sweetheart, 466 00:19:27,257 --> 00:19:30,167 but he's a crook. 467 00:19:30,265 --> 00:19:31,511 - I know. - Right? 468 00:19:31,609 --> 00:19:33,399 - Oh, excuse me. - I just thought I could... 469 00:19:33,497 --> 00:19:35,927 I don't mean to interrupt an intimate moment, 470 00:19:36,025 --> 00:19:39,767 it's just that there have been seismic developments in the negotiations. 471 00:19:39,865 --> 00:19:41,495 You have really rattled the Chinese leaders. 472 00:19:41,593 --> 00:19:42,743 - Oh. - Chinese leaders? 473 00:19:42,841 --> 00:19:44,663 - Yes, Catherine. - Seriously, Mom? 474 00:19:44,761 --> 00:19:47,447 I think he is going to use the gold pen from the Second Hague Convention very soon. 475 00:19:47,545 --> 00:19:50,071 Your mother has given an amazing pen to the Chinese leaders. 476 00:19:50,169 --> 00:19:52,567 - It's gold... - She knows... she knows about that pen. 477 00:19:52,665 --> 00:19:55,447 You are so terrible. 478 00:19:55,545 --> 00:19:57,688 - Catherine. - No. 479 00:19:57,785 --> 00:19:59,447 - Catherine. Okay. - Sorry. 480 00:19:59,545 --> 00:20:01,719 Even labor and delivery with her was a nightmare. 481 00:20:01,817 --> 00:20:02,871 Oh, yes? Why is that? 482 00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:04,151 You have a very narrow vagina? 483 00:20:04,249 --> 00:20:05,783 Well, tight. In the States we say tight. 484 00:20:05,881 --> 00:20:09,335 The Chinese economy is in a worse state than anyone realized. 485 00:20:09,433 --> 00:20:11,095 These sanctions, they are really crippling them. 486 00:20:11,193 --> 00:20:13,303 And Chi-Jang, he is a proud, stubborn man. 487 00:20:13,401 --> 00:20:15,159 Like a Chinese Mr. Darcy. 488 00:20:15,257 --> 00:20:17,399 But stupid also, like a Chinese Mr. Bingley. 489 00:20:17,496 --> 00:20:18,743 I love "Mary Poppins." 490 00:20:18,841 --> 00:20:21,655 So if the United States lifts the sanctions 491 00:20:21,753 --> 00:20:24,247 and is prepared to meet their demands for industrial metals 492 00:20:24,345 --> 00:20:28,375 for the next 25 years, the Chinese might... 493 00:20:28,473 --> 00:20:32,695 might be prepared to discuss Tibet. 494 00:20:32,793 --> 00:20:35,767 - To bet on what? - Wait, to talk about freeing Tibet? 495 00:20:35,865 --> 00:20:38,199 No, they are prepared to discuss a framework for talks 496 00:20:38,297 --> 00:20:39,959 aimed at a possible path to self-determination. 497 00:20:40,057 --> 00:20:42,615 - I'm freeing Tibet? - No, no, not free. 498 00:20:42,713 --> 00:20:45,687 It would likely be one country, two systems similar to Hong Kong. 499 00:20:45,785 --> 00:20:48,183 - That's it. - Bono's gonna shit his sunglasses. 500 00:20:48,281 --> 00:20:51,319 That is like some man on the moon legacy shit. 501 00:20:51,417 --> 00:20:55,767 My God, Selina Meyer, the woman who freed Tibet. 502 00:20:55,865 --> 00:20:57,495 Not... no, really, not free. 503 00:20:57,593 --> 00:20:59,255 What about the factories in Ohio? 504 00:20:59,353 --> 00:21:01,047 Jonah's ahead in all the latest polls. 505 00:21:01,145 --> 00:21:03,607 Fuck those factories, man. I'm freeing Tibet. 506 00:21:03,705 --> 00:21:05,495 - Fuck it! - Really, not freeing. 507 00:21:05,593 --> 00:21:07,191 It is, of course, tragic 508 00:21:07,289 --> 00:21:09,879 for the unemployed workers of Ohio and North Carolina. 509 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:11,351 Well, they should have tried going to college. 510 00:21:11,449 --> 00:21:13,367 Worry about your own unemployment in Finland. 511 00:21:13,465 --> 00:21:15,031 We don't have unemployment in Finland. 512 00:21:15,129 --> 00:21:18,007 I'm gonna win a Nobel fucking Peace Prize, you guys. 513 00:21:18,105 --> 00:21:20,279 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 514 00:21:20,377 --> 00:21:22,135 - Oh, sorry. Are you all right? - It's okay. 515 00:21:22,233 --> 00:21:24,631 And Tibet will have a new future. 516 00:21:24,729 --> 00:21:27,105 Oh, God, sorry, sorry. Excuse me. Hey, babe. 517 00:21:27,129 --> 00:21:28,078 Hare Krishna. 518 00:21:28,153 --> 00:21:29,943 Hi. How was the ultrasound? 519 00:21:32,601 --> 00:21:34,679 Twins? Oh, my God. 520 00:21:34,777 --> 00:21:37,399 Oh, no, I'm twice as happy now. 521 00:21:38,645 --> 00:21:41,230 Hmm, who should I vote for, huh? 522 00:21:41,305 --> 00:21:42,743 Pow, pow. 523 00:21:42,840 --> 00:21:46,711 Who should I vote for? You can't teach that. 524 00:21:46,809 --> 00:21:48,535 I hope he votes for himself. 525 00:21:48,633 --> 00:21:51,639 Oh, I'm sorry. I need another ballot. 526 00:21:51,737 --> 00:21:54,135 I just... I just need another ballot. 527 00:21:54,233 --> 00:21:56,567 Pow, pow. 528 00:21:56,665 --> 00:21:58,327 I don't want to talk to you. 529 00:21:58,425 --> 00:22:00,214 I want to tell you something, 530 00:22:00,313 --> 00:22:03,031 but it's very confidential, okay? 531 00:22:03,129 --> 00:22:05,879 Mommy is going to free Tibet. 532 00:22:05,976 --> 00:22:07,447 I don't care. 533 00:22:07,544 --> 00:22:09,719 Catherine, come on, honey, remember when you were little 534 00:22:09,816 --> 00:22:12,951 and you had that "Free Tibet" sticker and you put it up on the wall 535 00:22:13,049 --> 00:22:16,727 and we couldn't get it off, remember, because you put it on wallpaper inexplicably. 536 00:22:16,825 --> 00:22:19,383 Hey, Kit-Cat. It's me. Can I come in? 537 00:22:19,481 --> 00:22:20,855 Just you. 538 00:22:23,545 --> 00:22:26,903 - Hey, baby. - Well, yeah. 539 00:22:34,105 --> 00:22:35,575 Wonderful. 540 00:22:35,673 --> 00:22:38,199 - Gan bei! - Gan bei! 541 00:22:39,513 --> 00:22:41,335 And now, let us celebrate 542 00:22:41,433 --> 00:22:44,119 with a traditional Christmas feast. 543 00:22:44,217 --> 00:22:46,455 This is a... 544 00:22:48,505 --> 00:22:51,447 culturally significant and traditional... 545 00:22:51,545 --> 00:22:53,559 - Freedom log. - ...freedom log. 546 00:22:53,657 --> 00:22:57,655 Why don't we slice that up for everyone to enjoy? 547 00:22:57,753 --> 00:23:02,295 You know, we have a statement that is ready for release. 548 00:23:04,249 --> 00:23:06,007 There will be no statement. 549 00:23:06,104 --> 00:23:08,087 These are very delicate issues 550 00:23:08,185 --> 00:23:09,334 and cannot be rushed. 551 00:23:09,433 --> 00:23:10,583 Oh, yes, of course. 552 00:23:10,681 --> 00:23:12,663 I understand that completely. 553 00:23:12,761 --> 00:23:17,207 Although, perhaps when things are as significant as Tibet, 554 00:23:17,305 --> 00:23:22,199 things are accidently leaked to the press 555 00:23:22,297 --> 00:23:25,558 so that the world may know of our accomplishments. 556 00:23:29,465 --> 00:23:31,863 It would be very unfortunate if it also leaked 557 00:23:31,961 --> 00:23:35,831 that you lied to your country about our hacking of your tweets. 558 00:23:35,929 --> 00:23:37,527 That is ridiculous. 559 00:23:37,625 --> 00:23:40,023 We have your emails to prove it. 560 00:23:41,976 --> 00:23:45,751 Okay, well, we can just wait for you guys to release a statement. 561 00:23:45,849 --> 00:23:47,927 - Xiè xie. - Xiè xie. 562 00:23:49,912 --> 00:23:50,935 Minna. 563 00:23:53,496 --> 00:23:55,414 Mr. McLintock? 564 00:23:55,513 --> 00:23:57,463 - Mm-hmm. - Good news. 565 00:23:57,561 --> 00:23:59,319 Your adoption paper has been approved. 566 00:23:59,416 --> 00:24:02,551 You and your wife soon will have a Chinese baby. 567 00:24:02,648 --> 00:24:04,279 Congratulations. 568 00:24:06,584 --> 00:24:08,054 What is happening? 569 00:24:08,152 --> 00:24:09,495 Well, good-bye, Andrew. 570 00:24:09,593 --> 00:24:12,407 Catherine has any questions about the Brazil investment, 571 00:24:12,504 --> 00:24:14,327 - always available. - I have a question. 572 00:24:14,424 --> 00:24:17,494 Is it actually an investment in Brazil? 573 00:24:17,593 --> 00:24:18,679 I can take this if you'd like. 574 00:24:18,777 --> 00:24:20,439 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah, sure. 575 00:24:20,536 --> 00:24:22,359 - Thank you for everything, ma'am. - Oh, you're so welcome. 576 00:24:22,456 --> 00:24:25,367 All right, wheels up in 10 minutes on Marine One. 577 00:24:25,465 --> 00:24:26,711 Pick up the... 578 00:24:26,809 --> 00:24:28,918 - Oh, hi, Catherine. - Really? 579 00:24:29,016 --> 00:24:30,519 - What? - It's official. 580 00:24:30,617 --> 00:24:32,854 At 8:20 this evening, the Widow Sherman conceded. 581 00:24:32,953 --> 00:24:35,415 Oh, H.R. Fucknstuf, Jonah won the election? 582 00:24:35,513 --> 00:24:36,370 It was a small margin. 583 00:24:36,394 --> 00:24:38,382 But still counts as a sign of the apocalypse. 584 00:24:38,457 --> 00:24:41,750 - So Jonah's gonna vote for me and I'm... - Gonna be president! 585 00:24:41,849 --> 00:24:43,639 - I've got to call him. - I got him. He's right here. 586 00:24:43,737 --> 00:24:45,271 Oh, my God. 587 00:24:45,369 --> 00:24:46,871 Congressman Ryan. 588 00:24:46,969 --> 00:24:48,663 Hello, Madam President. 589 00:24:48,761 --> 00:24:51,063 - Or should I call you colleague now? - I wouldn't. 590 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:52,759 And I just want to let you know that I, 591 00:24:52,857 --> 00:24:54,711 Congressman Jonah Ryan, 592 00:24:54,809 --> 00:24:58,167 will personally deliver you the vote that delivers you the presidency. 593 00:24:58,265 --> 00:25:01,495 - That means so much to me. - Ma'am, while I have you on the phone, 594 00:25:01,593 --> 00:25:04,503 New Hampshire is struggling with an epidemic of opiate addict... 595 00:25:04,600 --> 00:25:05,847 Yeah, I'm not gonna... 596 00:25:05,945 --> 00:25:07,318 Oh! Oh, God. 597 00:25:07,416 --> 00:25:10,007 - Oh, good. That goes in my bag. - Yeah. 598 00:25:14,200 --> 00:25:16,791 I can elect anyone in New Hampshire. 599 00:25:16,889 --> 00:25:19,639 - I can elect a Muslim AIDS virus. - Okay, Jeff. 600 00:25:19,737 --> 00:25:22,295 A terrorist fucking AIDS virus 601 00:25:22,393 --> 00:25:25,206 in the tiniest suicide vest ever made, 602 00:25:25,304 --> 00:25:26,935 I could make it governor of New Hampshire. 603 00:25:27,032 --> 00:25:28,279 Okay, Jeff, you're drunk. 604 00:25:28,377 --> 00:25:30,454 New Hampshire, wow. Wow, New Hampshire. 605 00:25:30,553 --> 00:25:31,703 Thank you. 606 00:25:31,801 --> 00:25:34,999 Oh, my God. I did this. 607 00:25:35,097 --> 00:25:38,007 We just elected Jonah to Congress. 608 00:25:38,105 --> 00:25:41,270 Looking around, I see so many familiar faces of people 609 00:25:41,369 --> 00:25:44,375 - that supported me and believed in me. - Yeah. 610 00:25:44,473 --> 00:25:46,455 And I see a few that didn't. 611 00:25:46,553 --> 00:25:48,055 Like Jessica Thompson. 612 00:25:48,152 --> 00:25:50,839 Hey, Jessica. Jessica, I see you there. 613 00:25:50,936 --> 00:25:52,727 Yeah, it's been a long time since high school. 614 00:25:52,825 --> 00:25:54,327 I like what you did with your hair. 615 00:25:54,424 --> 00:25:56,630 - Do you like what I did with my life? - Oh! 616 00:25:56,729 --> 00:25:59,670 Jimmy O'Connor, I've been waiting 20 years to say this to you. 617 00:25:59,768 --> 00:26:02,327 Oh, my God, I did this. 618 00:26:02,425 --> 00:26:04,535 You just elected Jonah to Congress. 619 00:26:04,633 --> 00:26:06,934 I think that you are the spaz. 620 00:26:07,033 --> 00:26:08,631 But through it all, 621 00:26:08,729 --> 00:26:12,598 there was one person who truly believed in Jonah Ryan 622 00:26:12,696 --> 00:26:14,903 and that was Jonah Ryan. 623 00:26:15,001 --> 00:26:16,407 This is my dream, 624 00:26:16,504 --> 00:26:19,031 that you can believe in yourself so hard 625 00:26:19,128 --> 00:26:21,367 that you eventually become a congressman. 626 00:26:21,465 --> 00:26:23,862 Thank you, New Hampshire. Thank you. 627 00:26:23,961 --> 00:26:26,359 Yeah, well, we're thrilled. Thank you, Congressman. 628 00:26:26,456 --> 00:26:28,918 Jonah is gonna be sworn in with the rest of the freshmen. 629 00:26:29,016 --> 00:26:29,984 Yeah. 630 00:26:30,008 --> 00:26:32,910 Mom, I've come to a decision, by the way, 631 00:26:32,985 --> 00:26:34,743 about the Palm Beach house. 632 00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:37,495 - Okay, Catherine, listen... - I'm keeping it. 633 00:26:37,593 --> 00:26:39,574 Oh, Catherine. 634 00:26:39,673 --> 00:26:42,710 And I'm turning it into a sanctuary for rescued farm animals. 635 00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:44,247 What? 636 00:26:44,344 --> 00:26:46,806 - Rescued farm animals. - Yeah, I heard her. 637 00:26:46,904 --> 00:26:48,278 I think it's inspiring, ma'am. 638 00:26:48,376 --> 00:26:49,975 You're taking my daddy's house 639 00:26:50,073 --> 00:26:54,679 and turning it into some Club Med for goats? 640 00:26:54,777 --> 00:26:55,958 Well, it won't be just goats. 641 00:26:56,056 --> 00:26:57,718 I mean, there's so much property 642 00:26:57,816 --> 00:26:59,575 that we were talking about all different kinds of animals. 643 00:26:59,673 --> 00:27:01,239 I mean, you could have ducks or... 644 00:27:01,337 --> 00:27:03,095 - Lame horses. - Pigs. 645 00:27:03,192 --> 00:27:05,206 - Pigs. Potbellied pigs. - Emus. 646 00:27:05,304 --> 00:27:07,574 - Oh. - And we could have horses as well. 647 00:27:07,672 --> 00:27:09,463 - Okay. - We could have peacocks, too. 648 00:27:09,560 --> 00:27:11,895 - Can you do llamas? - Oh, yeah, we could have llamas. 649 00:27:11,993 --> 00:27:14,359 - Llamas. - Maybe a three-legged goat. 650 00:27:14,360 --> 00:27:16,360 Resync: @lio_official