1 00:00:11,475 --> 00:00:13,456 - Take the apple, Mrs. Sherman! 2 00:00:13,555 --> 00:00:15,922 - Reach out and take it. Take the apple. - Mr. Ryan. 3 00:00:16,020 --> 00:00:17,655 Mr. Ryan, would you please step back to your podium? 4 00:00:17,679 --> 00:00:18,697 She wouldn't take the apple. 5 00:00:18,772 --> 00:00:23,026 Which one of you Johnny Appledick shit for brains came up with that bit? 6 00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:26,130 Hi, ma'am, I just arrived here in Winter Blunderland. 7 00:00:26,228 --> 00:00:29,234 He looked like Ike Turner handing Tina a snack. 8 00:00:29,332 --> 00:00:30,962 I think we've identified the key problem, 9 00:00:31,060 --> 00:00:33,170 which is that Jonah does not interact well with humans. 10 00:00:33,268 --> 00:00:35,858 No, I don't interact well with hag-ass old bitches. 11 00:00:35,956 --> 00:00:39,090 Do you realize that you just handed O'Brien New Hampshire 12 00:00:39,188 --> 00:00:41,874 chained to a radiator with its twat shaved? 13 00:00:41,972 --> 00:00:43,890 - I'm hanging up! - I'm sorry, Mom. 14 00:00:43,988 --> 00:00:45,714 You know what? On the positive side, 15 00:00:45,812 --> 00:00:49,234 now I can just try and concentrate on our little family weekend. 16 00:00:49,332 --> 00:00:52,114 - Just us Meyers. - Well, then why is Gary here? 17 00:00:52,212 --> 00:00:54,898 - I mean, no offense. - Gary's family, too. 18 00:00:54,996 --> 00:00:55,739 Oh, thank you. 19 00:00:55,763 --> 00:00:57,993 I'm just really excited to have this time 20 00:00:58,069 --> 00:01:01,427 for you and Dad and Monny to get to know the real Marjorie. 21 00:01:01,524 --> 00:01:04,307 I mean, fun Marjorie, not just Marjorie the Secret Service agent. 22 00:01:04,404 --> 00:01:07,155 Oh, I'm excited to get to know fun Marjorie, too. 23 00:01:07,253 --> 00:01:08,755 When is she arriving? 24 00:01:11,349 --> 00:01:14,067 I'm just kidding. I'm just teasing. 25 00:01:15,541 --> 00:01:17,843 Whoo-hoo-hoo! The president is driving. 26 00:01:17,941 --> 00:01:19,955 - Whoo-hoo-hoo! - Look out. 27 00:01:20,052 --> 00:01:22,387 Bump. How about that? 28 00:01:22,485 --> 00:01:24,755 - Look! - Dad! Monny! 29 00:01:24,852 --> 00:01:25,636 Kitty Cat! 30 00:01:25,660 --> 00:01:28,010 All right, so the Chinese are gonna be here any minute. 31 00:01:28,084 --> 00:01:30,675 - Yeah. - Beijing has demanded complete secrecy. 32 00:01:30,773 --> 00:01:34,259 So you're gonna have to keep Charles Ponzi and pussyride away from me. 33 00:01:34,357 --> 00:01:36,531 We Meyers are very resourceful. 34 00:01:36,629 --> 00:01:39,475 You do know you're not really a member of my family, right? 35 00:01:39,573 --> 00:01:40,660 - I do. - Right. 36 00:01:41,813 --> 00:01:43,251 What is that insanity 37 00:01:43,349 --> 00:01:44,915 you're putting all over the tree, Monica? 38 00:01:45,013 --> 00:01:48,819 Oh, this is my homemade cranberry and popcorn tinsel 39 00:01:48,917 --> 00:01:51,027 - that I like to call... - Popcornaments! 40 00:01:51,125 --> 00:01:52,820 Someone's been reading my blog. 41 00:01:52,917 --> 00:01:54,771 I just trademarked the word last week. 42 00:01:54,869 --> 00:01:57,139 It sounds delicious and it's adorable. 43 00:01:57,237 --> 00:01:58,484 So I'm gonna call it delorable. 44 00:01:58,582 --> 00:01:59,892 See? We can all do it. 45 00:01:59,989 --> 00:02:01,172 - Hey, Mom. - Yes? 46 00:02:01,270 --> 00:02:02,772 I just wanted to let you know that Marjorie 47 00:02:02,869 --> 00:02:05,171 is a raw food vegan and she's turned me into one. 48 00:02:05,270 --> 00:02:07,603 Oh, so that's two things she's turned you into. 49 00:02:07,701 --> 00:02:11,572 Yeah, we just thought maybe we could have, like, a sham ham for Christmas. 50 00:02:11,670 --> 00:02:13,652 What is that, sweetie? Is that like tofurkey? 51 00:02:13,750 --> 00:02:15,348 No, ma'am, tofurkey is cooked. 52 00:02:15,446 --> 00:02:18,164 This is a raw log made of mushrooms and soaked walnuts. 53 00:02:18,261 --> 00:02:19,444 But it tastes like a ham? 54 00:02:19,542 --> 00:02:20,820 - Yeah, it's close. - Not at all. 55 00:02:20,918 --> 00:02:22,644 We could all cut back on our meat consum... 56 00:02:22,742 --> 00:02:24,500 I'm terribly sorry, Marjorie. 57 00:02:24,598 --> 00:02:26,324 - I thought you were Selina. - That's okay, sir. 58 00:02:26,422 --> 00:02:27,604 People make that mistake constantly. 59 00:02:27,702 --> 00:02:29,684 How about you touch neither of us? 60 00:02:29,782 --> 00:02:32,724 Okay, I'm gonna go check on that funky food order and... 61 00:02:32,822 --> 00:02:36,116 Mom, I wanted to ask you about something, but I can just talk to Dad about it. 62 00:02:36,214 --> 00:02:37,428 He's better with money stuff. 63 00:02:37,526 --> 00:02:39,124 What money stuff? 64 00:02:39,223 --> 00:02:41,493 Well, it's just that there's so much of it 65 00:02:41,590 --> 00:02:43,253 that it's really tough to know what to do with it. 66 00:02:43,350 --> 00:02:45,300 Uncle George was saying that maybe I should sell the Palm Beach house 67 00:02:45,398 --> 00:02:46,997 so that I could pay off the estate taxes. 68 00:02:47,094 --> 00:02:50,837 Palm Beach house, honey? That was my daddy's favorite house. 69 00:02:50,935 --> 00:02:53,940 Actually, Lee, right now is a fantastic time to sell. 70 00:02:54,038 --> 00:02:56,916 And, Catherine, do you remember that Brazil hotel chain? 71 00:02:57,014 --> 00:02:58,549 - What? - I told them about your veganism 72 00:02:58,646 --> 00:03:01,397 and they decided to convert the whole thing to an eco resort. 73 00:03:01,495 --> 00:03:04,021 - No, they didn't. - I have a prospectus in my briefcase. 74 00:03:04,119 --> 00:03:06,805 I'll tell you what. I think we should not talk about money 75 00:03:06,903 --> 00:03:09,844 during our sort of pre-Christmas Christmas celebration. 76 00:03:09,943 --> 00:03:13,013 Catherine and Marjorie, can you gals go outside 77 00:03:13,111 --> 00:03:15,093 and get some wood to start a fire? 78 00:03:15,191 --> 00:03:17,909 Ma'am, your daughter's dazzling eyes can start a fire themselves. 79 00:03:18,007 --> 00:03:19,509 Okay, well, that's terrifying, 80 00:03:19,607 --> 00:03:21,877 but I actually do think we need to get some wood from outside. 81 00:03:21,974 --> 00:03:24,629 - Yes, ma'am. - Thanks. Gary, we got to go. 82 00:03:24,727 --> 00:03:27,253 Okay, are the Chinese here yet? 83 00:03:27,351 --> 00:03:28,981 Delayed on the road, ma'am. 84 00:03:29,079 --> 00:03:31,189 Presumably driving slowly and not using their signals. 85 00:03:31,287 --> 00:03:33,301 Hey, any updates on Debralee's sonogram? 86 00:03:33,399 --> 00:03:35,125 Nothing. I'm going crazy. 87 00:03:35,223 --> 00:03:37,461 What do you got going there, Depravey Crockett? 88 00:03:37,559 --> 00:03:39,861 You can't go in with a plan. The knife tells you. 89 00:03:39,959 --> 00:03:41,493 Okay, so lay it on me, Ben. 90 00:03:41,591 --> 00:03:42,934 It's all been prenegotiated, ma'am. 91 00:03:43,032 --> 00:03:44,565 In exchange for you lifting the sanctions, 92 00:03:44,663 --> 00:03:47,093 China's agreed to build an electronics plant in Ohio 93 00:03:47,191 --> 00:03:49,429 and an engine assembly plant in North Carolina. 94 00:03:49,527 --> 00:03:51,093 Okay, so we got North Carolina, Ohio. 95 00:03:51,191 --> 00:03:52,214 That's the presidency for me. 96 00:03:52,311 --> 00:03:53,877 And as per usual, we raised the issue 97 00:03:53,975 --> 00:03:56,597 of the Dalai Lama and the Panchen Lama returning to Tibet. 98 00:03:56,695 --> 00:03:59,221 - Dalai Lama, I'm so sick of him. - He's insufferable. 99 00:03:59,319 --> 00:04:01,206 Do we have a press release ready to go, Mike? 100 00:04:01,303 --> 00:04:02,678 All I got to do is press send and we... 101 00:04:02,776 --> 00:04:04,758 actually, I do need to spell-check this thing. 102 00:04:04,856 --> 00:04:07,093 Ma'am, Minna Häkkinen is through security and headed this way. 103 00:04:07,192 --> 00:04:10,870 How is it that that Asperger salad inserted herself into this situation? 104 00:04:10,968 --> 00:04:13,174 President Lu trusts her. Likes what she did with the IMF. 105 00:04:13,272 --> 00:04:15,446 No, I'll tell you what he likes. Nordic beav. 106 00:04:15,544 --> 00:04:17,206 Irresistible. Ooh! 107 00:04:17,303 --> 00:04:18,774 - Shh. - What? 108 00:04:18,871 --> 00:04:20,885 - Oh, Minna! - Selina. 109 00:04:20,984 --> 00:04:22,902 - Hello. - Hello. I have not seen you 110 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,110 since you failed to vote for me to be head of the IMF. 111 00:04:25,208 --> 00:04:26,870 And, oh, you changed your hair. 112 00:04:26,968 --> 00:04:28,374 Thank you, yes. I have more highlights. 113 00:04:28,472 --> 00:04:32,246 And you changed your eyelids. You had oculoplasty. 114 00:04:32,344 --> 00:04:34,071 - Um... - You look more alert. 115 00:04:34,168 --> 00:04:35,510 Yeah... 116 00:04:35,608 --> 00:04:37,462 Well, the latest poll numbers are in 117 00:04:37,560 --> 00:04:39,671 and you've fallen 20 points behind the Widow Sherman. 118 00:04:39,768 --> 00:04:41,878 We have to keep you away from people. 119 00:04:41,976 --> 00:04:45,431 Yeah, surround you with some trees. Make you look human-sized. 120 00:04:45,528 --> 00:04:48,118 Yeah, back to the natural habitat your nitwit mother 121 00:04:48,217 --> 00:04:51,031 found you in, you fucking shaved Sasquatch. 122 00:04:51,128 --> 00:04:54,454 But the good news is that you're only three points behind Jon H Ryan, whoever that is. 123 00:04:54,552 --> 00:04:57,847 Hey, Slick. What's Blondie's situation? 124 00:04:57,944 --> 00:05:00,566 Does she choke for Coke? 125 00:05:00,664 --> 00:05:02,295 You should ask her. 126 00:05:02,393 --> 00:05:03,382 Yeah. 127 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,335 It's been a very hard year. 128 00:05:05,433 --> 00:05:07,318 The menopause has really taken a hold of me. 129 00:05:07,417 --> 00:05:10,806 - Is that so? Yeah. - Yes. You know... you're menopausal. 130 00:05:10,905 --> 00:05:12,982 - What? - You're menopausal as well. 131 00:05:13,080 --> 00:05:14,327 - No, I'm not. - Well... 132 00:05:14,425 --> 00:05:15,927 - No? - What? 133 00:05:16,025 --> 00:05:17,303 No, you are. 134 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:19,159 No, you're older than me, so I... 135 00:05:19,257 --> 00:05:21,271 No, I am actually two years younger. 136 00:05:21,368 --> 00:05:23,095 Oh, I still have regular periods, 137 00:05:23,193 --> 00:05:24,951 but my joints, they're very swollen. 138 00:05:25,049 --> 00:05:26,839 You know, I wonder if we can just get back to the Chinese. 139 00:05:26,937 --> 00:05:30,615 The Chinese may try to change the terms of the done deal. 140 00:05:30,713 --> 00:05:31,831 - Really? - Yes. 141 00:05:31,929 --> 00:05:33,175 - But if they do this... - Yeah? 142 00:05:33,273 --> 00:05:35,479 ...you are simply ready to perform the walkout 143 00:05:35,577 --> 00:05:37,399 to convince the Chinese that you will not negotiate 144 00:05:37,497 --> 00:05:39,127 if the terms of the deal are not satisfactory. 145 00:05:39,225 --> 00:05:41,112 - Okay. - You say the terms are unacceptable 146 00:05:41,209 --> 00:05:43,511 and you take both your palms and you place them 147 00:05:43,609 --> 00:05:45,239 firmly on the table like that. 148 00:05:45,337 --> 00:05:47,639 - Oh, God. - Then you walk out. 149 00:05:47,738 --> 00:05:50,264 And then someone must say this is unprecedented. 150 00:05:50,362 --> 00:05:52,087 - She never does this. - Ben can do that. 151 00:05:52,186 --> 00:05:54,744 - Who, me? - It is much harder than it sounds. 152 00:05:54,841 --> 00:05:56,632 - Perhaps we should rehearse? - Absolutely. 153 00:05:56,730 --> 00:05:58,807 So this is unacceptable. 154 00:05:58,906 --> 00:06:01,143 And then, uh, I walk out. 155 00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:03,863 No, that is not credible. You try again. 156 00:06:03,961 --> 00:06:06,295 - This is unacceptable. - Mm-hmm. 157 00:06:06,393 --> 00:06:08,728 No, you see, that's the same, but it's just louder. 158 00:06:08,825 --> 00:06:09,749 She never does this. 159 00:06:09,773 --> 00:06:12,174 Oh, no, that is good. Now, that is convincing. 160 00:06:12,249 --> 00:06:13,976 - Hey, girlies. - Mom. 161 00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:15,992 - Yes, honey? - I want you to open your gift. 162 00:06:16,089 --> 00:06:18,456 Since technically it's early Christmas Eve, I got you something. 163 00:06:18,554 --> 00:06:20,344 What have we got here? 164 00:06:22,746 --> 00:06:23,594 Oh. 165 00:06:23,618 --> 00:06:26,159 It was used in 1907 at the Second Hague Convention. 166 00:06:26,234 --> 00:06:29,048 And I figured you could use it to sign important peace treaties 167 00:06:29,146 --> 00:06:30,552 when you're officially elected. 168 00:06:30,650 --> 00:06:32,568 It's actually lovely, Catherine. 169 00:06:32,666 --> 00:06:35,896 Amex gave me this crazy new card that's made out of black metal. 170 00:06:35,995 --> 00:06:38,776 It truly shows the special 171 00:06:38,875 --> 00:06:41,497 mommy-daughter bond that you and I share. 172 00:06:43,130 --> 00:06:44,825 - So good. - I have an idea. 173 00:06:44,922 --> 00:06:47,736 Marjorie, why don't you open my gift? 174 00:06:47,834 --> 00:06:49,625 Oh, you got Marjorie a gift. 175 00:06:49,723 --> 00:06:52,409 Marjorie's part of the family now, aren't you, pal? 176 00:06:52,507 --> 00:06:55,608 Yeah, I got Marjorie a gift, too. Um, right, Gary? 177 00:06:55,706 --> 00:06:56,920 - Yeah. - Yeah. 178 00:06:57,018 --> 00:06:58,425 - It's beautiful. - Stuck in security. 179 00:06:58,523 --> 00:07:00,664 Stuck in security. I don't know how that happened. 180 00:07:00,762 --> 00:07:02,969 - I got the tracking number. - Okay. Let's see what you got. 181 00:07:05,914 --> 00:07:07,545 Ah, it's an old book. 182 00:07:07,643 --> 00:07:10,553 - Do you like it? - I am overcome with emotion. 183 00:07:10,651 --> 00:07:12,249 Oh, my God. 184 00:07:12,347 --> 00:07:14,904 It's a first edition Gertrude Stein. 185 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:16,121 That's Marjorie's favorite poet. 186 00:07:16,218 --> 00:07:17,913 How did you know that, Dad? 187 00:07:18,011 --> 00:07:18,531 I listen. 188 00:07:18,555 --> 00:07:20,112 I'm going to put this someplace special. 189 00:07:20,187 --> 00:07:21,497 - Hey. - Hi. 190 00:07:21,595 --> 00:07:23,993 I noticed two golf carts filled with Asian people. 191 00:07:24,091 --> 00:07:28,633 - Yeah, we should go. - That's the kitchen crew and the chef. 192 00:07:28,731 --> 00:07:30,617 - They wear really nice suits. - Yeah. 193 00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:32,898 Okay, I want to go find Marjorie's gift. 194 00:07:32,922 --> 00:07:33,648 Me, too. 195 00:07:33,723 --> 00:07:35,693 So, I will make the introductions. 196 00:07:35,717 --> 00:07:36,432 Yeah. 197 00:07:36,507 --> 00:07:38,490 - You're wearing that? - What? 198 00:07:38,587 --> 00:07:43,705 Yeah. Oh. 199 00:07:45,243 --> 00:07:48,569 This is President Lu Chi-Jang... 200 00:07:48,667 --> 00:07:50,201 Secretary General of the Communist Party... 201 00:07:50,225 --> 00:07:51,408 Studied chemical engineering. 202 00:07:51,483 --> 00:07:53,369 He's currently on his second wife, he enjoys tennis. 203 00:07:53,467 --> 00:07:55,258 ...paramount leader of the People's Republic of China. 204 00:07:55,356 --> 00:07:57,114 - This is Zhang Shengxi. - He collects art. 205 00:07:57,211 --> 00:07:59,450 - Premier of the State Council. - His son is a freshman at Georgetown. 206 00:07:59,548 --> 00:08:00,943 This is Xao Jintong, 1st Rank Vice Premier... 207 00:08:00,967 --> 00:08:01,937 London School of Economics. 208 00:08:02,011 --> 00:08:05,529 He enjoys fly fishing and his favorite snack is freeze-dried strawberries. 209 00:08:05,628 --> 00:08:08,313 Thank you. I didn't get any of that except strawberries. 210 00:08:08,411 --> 00:08:10,522 - Okay. - ...the exchanging of gifts. 211 00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,826 This is a depiction of the most popular 212 00:08:12,924 --> 00:08:15,706 children's cartoon character in China, Sad Piglet. 213 00:08:15,804 --> 00:08:17,882 It looks just like my daughter Catherine. 214 00:08:17,980 --> 00:08:18,588 Huh? 215 00:08:18,612 --> 00:08:20,433 Your daughter is a beautiful woman 216 00:08:20,508 --> 00:08:22,010 and this is a piglet. 217 00:08:22,108 --> 00:08:24,666 - It's upset. - Oh, no, no, no. I... I love it. 218 00:08:24,764 --> 00:08:27,546 Believe me, if you say SeaWorld to Catherine 219 00:08:27,644 --> 00:08:29,882 you will understand what I'm talking about. 220 00:08:29,980 --> 00:08:32,218 This is just lovely. Thank you very much. 221 00:08:32,316 --> 00:08:33,274 And now our gift. 222 00:08:33,372 --> 00:08:35,066 Oh. 223 00:08:35,164 --> 00:08:37,722 This is a silk robe from the Qing Dynasty. 224 00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:39,675 The dragon symbolizes good fortune. 225 00:08:39,772 --> 00:08:41,914 Your generosity is overwhelming. 226 00:08:42,012 --> 00:08:43,642 - And so... - This is... 227 00:08:43,740 --> 00:08:47,130 Seriously? This is beyond what we imagined. 228 00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:48,890 Or prepared for. 229 00:08:48,988 --> 00:08:51,258 This is a tapestry from Qing Dynasty. 230 00:08:51,357 --> 00:08:53,275 The central image, the peony, 231 00:08:53,373 --> 00:08:56,187 is a symbol of royalty and virtue. 232 00:08:56,285 --> 00:09:00,379 This is exquisite and I really hope that's all. 233 00:09:02,461 --> 00:09:05,019 And now our gifts for you. 234 00:09:05,116 --> 00:09:08,442 This is an American geode, 235 00:09:08,540 --> 00:09:13,019 which symbolizes the solid foundation 236 00:09:13,117 --> 00:09:15,739 that we have between our two countries. 237 00:09:15,837 --> 00:09:17,851 And it sparkles like we hope 238 00:09:17,949 --> 00:09:21,083 our conversation will sparkle. 239 00:09:21,181 --> 00:09:23,803 Thank you for this rock. 240 00:09:24,829 --> 00:09:26,075 Oh. 241 00:09:27,581 --> 00:09:31,003 Um, and this wine 242 00:09:31,101 --> 00:09:34,011 from Napa Valley, California. 243 00:09:35,997 --> 00:09:40,123 And this additional wine, also from a local vineyard 244 00:09:40,221 --> 00:09:42,940 in, uh, New Zealand, 245 00:09:43,038 --> 00:09:45,371 which is local to us 246 00:09:45,470 --> 00:09:48,284 and it's also close to Asia, 247 00:09:48,381 --> 00:09:49,979 which makes it local to you 248 00:09:50,077 --> 00:09:52,540 as we are all local friends. 249 00:09:52,638 --> 00:09:54,779 - Thank you. - She's just being polite. 250 00:09:54,877 --> 00:09:57,499 - President Lu does not drink. - Oh, God. 251 00:09:57,598 --> 00:10:01,724 Um, Jang, there's a common saying here in America, 252 00:10:01,822 --> 00:10:03,580 "But wait, there's more." 253 00:10:03,677 --> 00:10:06,395 So I would like to present our final gift to you. 254 00:10:07,805 --> 00:10:10,972 A very meaningful and historic pen 255 00:10:11,070 --> 00:10:15,996 from the Second Hague Conference of 1907. 256 00:10:16,093 --> 00:10:18,044 Gary, the box. 257 00:10:18,142 --> 00:10:20,316 - What? Really? - Yes. 258 00:10:22,782 --> 00:10:25,789 - Oh! - This is a very worthy gift. 259 00:10:25,886 --> 00:10:28,317 - Oh, good. - It is historically significant and apt. 260 00:10:28,414 --> 00:10:30,620 Gold is a very auspicious color for the Chinese. 261 00:10:30,718 --> 00:10:32,892 - It signifies prosperity and good luck. - Oh, great. 262 00:10:32,990 --> 00:10:36,284 - You have pleased them. - Oh, I'm pleased, then. Great. 263 00:10:36,382 --> 00:10:38,661 And now they are discussing how casually you are dressed. 264 00:10:38,685 --> 00:10:39,444 Hmm? 265 00:10:39,518 --> 00:10:43,069 They say you look like a prisoner 266 00:10:43,167 --> 00:10:45,404 or a pirate. 267 00:10:46,911 --> 00:10:48,925 An exercise book. 268 00:10:49,023 --> 00:10:51,357 Why did Menopause not warn us 269 00:10:51,455 --> 00:10:53,340 that the Chinese were going to out gift us like that? 270 00:10:53,438 --> 00:10:55,804 Our intel suggested they hated you. 271 00:10:55,903 --> 00:10:57,501 Ma'am, Dan and Amy for you. 272 00:10:57,599 --> 00:10:58,159 What? 273 00:10:58,183 --> 00:10:59,860 Ma'am, Jonah shot himself in the foot. 274 00:10:59,935 --> 00:11:02,045 Oh, my God. What did he do this time? 275 00:11:02,143 --> 00:11:04,669 No, he literally shot himself in the foot. We're in the ER. 276 00:11:04,767 --> 00:11:06,845 Turn on CNN, ma'am. It's on right now. 277 00:11:06,943 --> 00:11:08,445 Turn on the... 278 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:11,901 These are the woods where I used to hunt with my stepfather. 279 00:11:11,999 --> 00:11:13,789 And he taught me the proper... 280 00:11:13,887 --> 00:11:15,997 Jesus! 281 00:11:16,095 --> 00:11:17,373 - Oh, my God. - I'm okay. 282 00:11:17,471 --> 00:11:21,117 Oh, my God. 283 00:11:21,215 --> 00:11:24,509 - It's not funny, Ben. - I know, it's terrible. 284 00:11:24,607 --> 00:11:26,909 - A little bit of blood. - You are, it's all over the place. 285 00:11:27,007 --> 00:11:30,749 Jonah shot himself in the eye with a rubber band in second grade. 286 00:11:30,847 --> 00:11:33,086 I tell him now what I told him then... 287 00:11:33,183 --> 00:11:34,621 guns can be dangerous. 288 00:11:34,719 --> 00:11:36,318 We're all praying for his recovery. 289 00:11:36,415 --> 00:11:38,205 So lay it on me. How bad is it? 290 00:11:38,303 --> 00:11:40,510 It's a complicated fracture. Shattered some bone. 291 00:11:40,607 --> 00:11:43,198 - They say it's gonna take... - No, not for him, for me. 292 00:11:43,296 --> 00:11:45,853 Right. Critical condition, but we're not throwing in the... 293 00:11:45,951 --> 00:11:47,390 Okay, I'm not listening to any more of this. 294 00:11:47,488 --> 00:11:49,117 That's New Hampshire for O'Brien. 295 00:11:49,215 --> 00:11:51,422 - We got to have those factories now. - Ni hao. 296 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:53,790 President Lu requests to go on a nature walk with you. 297 00:11:53,888 --> 00:11:55,485 Well, I'm the president. I don't walk. 298 00:11:55,583 --> 00:11:58,013 He is also the president and he likes to walk. 299 00:11:58,111 --> 00:11:59,454 On a walk? 300 00:11:59,552 --> 00:12:02,205 Camp David is where President Eisenhower came 301 00:12:02,303 --> 00:12:04,414 to recover after his heart attack. 302 00:12:04,512 --> 00:12:07,422 Yeah. 303 00:12:07,520 --> 00:12:09,214 Is he okay? 304 00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:12,830 President Eis... he's pass... he's dead. He's long gone. 305 00:12:12,928 --> 00:12:16,126 Now this path was originally used by F.D.R. for his morning strolls. 306 00:12:16,224 --> 00:12:17,630 Or rolls, I should say. 307 00:12:17,728 --> 00:12:19,198 Uh, do you have more gum? 308 00:12:19,296 --> 00:12:20,830 Can I bum a piece of gum? 309 00:12:20,928 --> 00:12:23,230 Uh, may I chew gum with you? 310 00:12:24,512 --> 00:12:27,711 Thank you. Chinese gum, huh? 311 00:12:27,808 --> 00:12:29,727 Pretty cool. Never had it. 312 00:12:31,936 --> 00:12:34,494 Oh, wow. It's got a kick. 313 00:12:34,592 --> 00:12:36,030 Who knew? 314 00:12:36,128 --> 00:12:38,238 Thank... oh, hang on. 315 00:12:38,336 --> 00:12:40,031 I have just the thing. 316 00:12:40,128 --> 00:12:42,846 - Gracias. - Sorry, no, no. Wrong language. 317 00:12:42,944 --> 00:12:44,575 Well, we need to work together 318 00:12:44,672 --> 00:12:46,911 to better engage with North Korea 319 00:12:47,009 --> 00:12:49,950 because the North Koreans are people like us. 320 00:12:50,048 --> 00:12:52,159 Except without any food. 321 00:12:52,257 --> 00:12:54,558 Hi, Mom. Oh, I'm so happy to see you. 322 00:12:54,656 --> 00:12:56,703 - No, no. - Just to be clear, my girlfriend and I 323 00:12:56,801 --> 00:12:58,783 aren't just vegan, we're raw vegan 324 00:12:58,881 --> 00:13:03,615 which means no meat, no dairy, and absolutely nothing cooked at all. 325 00:13:05,505 --> 00:13:07,615 - Thank you. - Okay, good. 326 00:13:07,713 --> 00:13:11,231 Mom, come back soon, okay? Monica's making some nutmeg soy butter. 327 00:13:11,328 --> 00:13:13,791 Oh, how wonderful. Thank you. 328 00:13:13,889 --> 00:13:16,479 Ah, Jang, that was my daughter 329 00:13:16,576 --> 00:13:19,167 and she obviously did not recognize you. 330 00:13:19,265 --> 00:13:23,743 She doesn't understand anything about global politics. 331 00:13:23,841 --> 00:13:27,840 My family is here as a cover story. 332 00:13:31,105 --> 00:13:33,151 No, but I didn't... I didn't do that. 333 00:13:33,249 --> 00:13:35,647 I'm not... I didn't make that face. 334 00:13:35,745 --> 00:13:38,655 Shall we carry on this way? 335 00:13:38,754 --> 00:13:41,247 Can you translate "we need to get a new translator"? 336 00:13:41,345 --> 00:13:43,584 - Marvin Gardens. - You want it? 337 00:13:43,681 --> 00:13:45,887 Catherine, can I borrow 200 Monopoly dollars? 338 00:13:45,985 --> 00:13:47,903 Oh, everybody's still awake. 339 00:13:48,002 --> 00:13:49,279 - Hi. - Hi. 340 00:13:49,377 --> 00:13:52,128 Is that Marjorie's gift from security? 341 00:13:54,146 --> 00:13:55,968 Yes. 342 00:13:56,066 --> 00:13:58,848 Ma'am, I mean, you really didn't need to. 343 00:13:58,946 --> 00:14:00,287 Oh. 344 00:14:00,385 --> 00:14:03,775 Ma'am, this is stunning. 345 00:14:03,873 --> 00:14:06,784 Well, it's... it's vintage. 346 00:14:06,882 --> 00:14:08,767 Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh. 347 00:14:08,866 --> 00:14:12,160 Feels like it was woven out of Catherine's silken hair. Feel this. 348 00:14:12,257 --> 00:14:14,816 - Aw. - I thought you might enjoy something... 349 00:14:14,914 --> 00:14:17,312 - Oh, my God. - ...that was like her hair. 350 00:14:17,409 --> 00:14:19,616 - Thank you. Thank you so much. - Oh, you're welcome. Ow. 351 00:14:19,714 --> 00:14:21,856 Mom, I can't believe that. It's gorgeous. 352 00:14:21,954 --> 00:14:23,648 - I got to go to bed. - It was my turn. 353 00:14:23,746 --> 00:14:25,472 - Good night. - Good night. 354 00:14:25,570 --> 00:14:28,096 You know that's government property, right? 355 00:14:28,194 --> 00:14:30,912 - You just committed a federal crime. - It's real. 356 00:14:35,170 --> 00:14:37,792 - You got to see this. - Jesus, those are your pajamas? 357 00:14:37,890 --> 00:14:40,352 It's the outfit I picture when I'm trying not to come. 358 00:14:40,450 --> 00:14:42,209 - Who's that? - Oh... 359 00:14:42,307 --> 00:14:44,512 Judy Sherman claims she's for New Hampshire, 360 00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:46,208 - but what's her real agenda? - What is this? 361 00:14:46,307 --> 00:14:48,704 You need to be more careful. Guns can be dangerous. 362 00:14:48,802 --> 00:14:50,081 On election day, 363 00:14:50,179 --> 00:14:52,961 tell Judy Sherman you care about freedom. 364 00:14:53,059 --> 00:14:55,137 - What the fuck is going on? - Look, it's everywhere. 365 00:14:55,235 --> 00:14:57,569 ...Sherman claims she's for New Hampshire... 366 00:14:57,667 --> 00:14:59,489 Oh, my God. Hey. 367 00:15:02,051 --> 00:15:04,513 It's the NRA. 368 00:15:04,610 --> 00:15:07,105 It's a Christmas miracle. 369 00:15:09,347 --> 00:15:12,033 All right, well, I'm gonna get back to this, so I'll see you later. 370 00:15:13,571 --> 00:15:16,097 Okay, Kent, best guess, is New Hampshire back in play? 371 00:15:16,195 --> 00:15:18,689 Ma'am, I don't even use the colloquial phrase "I guess." 372 00:15:18,787 --> 00:15:21,793 - Get Dan and Amy right now. - The Chinese are ready. 373 00:15:21,891 --> 00:15:23,713 - She never knocks. - Uh, Minna, 374 00:15:23,811 --> 00:15:26,018 I am right in the middle of something. 375 00:15:26,115 --> 00:15:29,089 Selina, do I need to remind you how sensitive the Chinese are to promptness? 376 00:15:29,187 --> 00:15:31,905 Then why is my wonton soup so cold every time they deliver it? 377 00:15:32,003 --> 00:15:33,249 What? 378 00:15:33,348 --> 00:15:36,353 Minna, I'm the middle of an international emergency. 379 00:15:36,451 --> 00:15:39,106 - Um, it's in the Middle East. - Shh. 380 00:15:39,204 --> 00:15:41,153 It is in Kuwait and that's all I can say. 381 00:15:41,251 --> 00:15:42,338 - Kuwait? - Yes. 382 00:15:42,436 --> 00:15:44,162 That is so strange. 383 00:15:44,260 --> 00:15:47,105 Because Amir Al-Khabat and myself, we follow each other on Instagram. 384 00:15:47,203 --> 00:15:50,081 Only five minutes ago, he posted a picture of his dinner salad. 385 00:15:50,179 --> 00:15:52,482 Ah, well, it happened 386 00:15:52,580 --> 00:15:55,362 right after he had that salad, in fact. 387 00:15:55,460 --> 00:15:58,082 Sort of an intermezzo emergency. 388 00:15:58,180 --> 00:16:00,002 - Oop, I got Dan. - Al-Egan. 389 00:16:00,100 --> 00:16:02,690 Yeah, the ambassador to Kuwait's liaison. 390 00:16:02,788 --> 00:16:05,762 Thank you. As-salaam-alaikum, Dan. 391 00:16:05,860 --> 00:16:08,002 - Okay, I will take them for a walk. - Yeah. 392 00:16:08,100 --> 00:16:09,122 Yeah. Okay. 393 00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:11,010 - Uh-huh. - Thank you. 394 00:16:11,108 --> 00:16:13,346 Okay, so now we love the NRA. 395 00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:19,202 _ 396 00:16:21,451 --> 00:16:25,032 _ 397 00:16:27,428 --> 00:16:28,354 Huh? 398 00:16:32,484 --> 00:16:34,210 The Chinese are very upset. 399 00:16:34,308 --> 00:16:35,682 They have changed the terms of the deal. 400 00:16:35,780 --> 00:16:37,954 - What? - The Chinese request the United States 401 00:16:38,052 --> 00:16:41,314 drop its objections to China's claim of the Diaoyu Islands. 402 00:16:41,412 --> 00:16:43,267 How do I put this delicately? 403 00:16:43,365 --> 00:16:47,426 The Chinese were very disturbed by a recent incident. 404 00:16:47,525 --> 00:16:48,706 What? What incident? 405 00:16:48,804 --> 00:16:51,010 With your daughter. 406 00:16:51,109 --> 00:16:53,667 Oh, my God. Minna, seriously, 407 00:16:53,765 --> 00:16:55,779 that was a complete honest mistake. 408 00:16:55,876 --> 00:16:57,155 Catherine was just confused. 409 00:16:57,253 --> 00:17:00,162 But you are her mother. You did not stop her. 410 00:17:00,260 --> 00:17:03,299 How could I have stopped her? I had to let her finish. 411 00:17:03,396 --> 00:17:05,314 You're a mother. You've got a son. 412 00:17:05,412 --> 00:17:07,075 I'm sure you've done it before. 413 00:17:07,173 --> 00:17:08,611 - You've been in this position. - No, I have not. 414 00:17:08,709 --> 00:17:10,787 This happens occasionally in Iceland, 415 00:17:10,885 --> 00:17:12,579 but there it's just an accident. 416 00:17:12,677 --> 00:17:14,275 - What? - What? 417 00:17:14,373 --> 00:17:17,123 God, this was their real demand from the beginning. 418 00:17:17,221 --> 00:17:19,395 I mean, those islands didn't come out of nowhere. 419 00:17:19,493 --> 00:17:21,347 Actually, they did. The Chinese created islands 420 00:17:21,445 --> 00:17:23,140 by piling sediment from under the sea... 421 00:17:23,237 --> 00:17:25,412 Madam President, you can't give them these islands. 422 00:17:25,509 --> 00:17:27,043 It'll destabilize the whole region. 423 00:17:27,141 --> 00:17:29,156 Will you please go and talk to Chi-Jang and try... 424 00:17:29,253 --> 00:17:32,067 I will try, but I don't know how much I'm going to be able to get his ear. 425 00:17:32,165 --> 00:17:35,012 But what you're gonna need to do is let him get a word in. 426 00:17:35,109 --> 00:17:38,883 Okay, well, you know what? This reminds me of negotiations between India and Bhutan. 427 00:17:38,981 --> 00:17:41,187 - Okay, this is what I'm talking about. - Bhutan was being stubborn. 428 00:17:41,286 --> 00:17:42,884 So, I've got to go check on my other prom date. 429 00:17:42,981 --> 00:17:44,323 Okay? I just... 430 00:17:44,421 --> 00:17:46,403 - Yes? - I'm sorry, do you know where I can get 431 00:17:46,501 --> 00:17:48,548 any more of this amazing Chinese gum? 432 00:17:48,646 --> 00:17:49,987 It's nicotine gum. 433 00:17:50,085 --> 00:17:51,620 Oh, no. 434 00:18:00,230 --> 00:18:02,211 Well, that does not change the fact 435 00:18:02,309 --> 00:18:06,532 that our friends in Japan still have claims to the Diaoyu Islands. 436 00:18:06,630 --> 00:18:09,028 President Lu says dropping your objections 437 00:18:09,126 --> 00:18:12,388 must be part of any deal. 438 00:18:12,486 --> 00:18:14,244 Well, that is unacceptable. 439 00:18:14,342 --> 00:18:17,060 - Unacceptable! - She never does this. 440 00:18:17,158 --> 00:18:20,260 I mean, I will storm out. Here I go. 441 00:18:22,438 --> 00:18:25,700 No way. It's unacceptable! 442 00:18:25,799 --> 00:18:28,004 This is not happening. 443 00:18:28,102 --> 00:18:30,693 In all honesty, she's never done this. 444 00:18:33,069 --> 00:18:36,686 _ 445 00:18:36,710 --> 00:18:39,181 _ 446 00:18:40,006 --> 00:18:41,765 I know two million sounds like a lot, sweetie. 447 00:18:41,863 --> 00:18:44,452 It's not. It's a small price to pay 448 00:18:44,550 --> 00:18:46,757 to save the Brazilian rain forest. 449 00:18:46,855 --> 00:18:49,797 But aren't you cutting down the rain forest in order to build the resort? 450 00:18:49,895 --> 00:18:53,029 So we can conserve the rest. 451 00:18:53,127 --> 00:18:55,045 It's a virtuous cycle. 452 00:18:55,143 --> 00:18:57,188 - Well, I guess that makes sense. - Hey! Hey! 453 00:18:57,286 --> 00:18:58,070 Hi, Mom. 454 00:18:58,094 --> 00:19:00,444 What are you guys doing all the way out here? 455 00:19:00,518 --> 00:19:01,732 We can talk about this later. 456 00:19:01,830 --> 00:19:03,589 I'll leave the pamphlets on your pillow. 457 00:19:03,687 --> 00:19:06,853 - Thanks, Dad. - Darling. Lee. 458 00:19:06,951 --> 00:19:08,869 Okay, listen to me. 459 00:19:08,967 --> 00:19:11,397 If you want to get advice or talk about money, 460 00:19:11,495 --> 00:19:12,773 you can come to me, okay? 461 00:19:12,871 --> 00:19:14,821 I've got the whole Treasury Department. 462 00:19:14,919 --> 00:19:17,029 And they're, you know... 463 00:19:17,127 --> 00:19:18,981 they've been better, I realize. 464 00:19:19,079 --> 00:19:22,277 I mean, Daddy loves you, sweetheart, 465 00:19:22,375 --> 00:19:25,285 but he's a crook. 466 00:19:25,383 --> 00:19:26,630 - I know. - Right? 467 00:19:26,727 --> 00:19:28,517 - Oh, excuse me. - I just thought I could... 468 00:19:28,615 --> 00:19:31,045 I don't mean to interrupt an intimate moment, 469 00:19:31,143 --> 00:19:34,885 it's just that there have been seismic developments in the negotiations. 470 00:19:34,983 --> 00:19:36,613 You have really rattled the Chinese leaders. 471 00:19:36,711 --> 00:19:37,861 - Oh. - Chinese leaders? 472 00:19:37,959 --> 00:19:39,781 - Yes, Catherine. - Seriously, Mom? 473 00:19:39,879 --> 00:19:42,565 I think he is going to use the gold pen from the Second Hague Convention very soon. 474 00:19:42,663 --> 00:19:45,189 Your mother has given an amazing pen to the Chinese leaders. 475 00:19:45,287 --> 00:19:47,686 - It's gold... - She knows... she knows about that pen. 476 00:19:47,784 --> 00:19:50,566 You are so terrible. 477 00:19:50,664 --> 00:19:52,806 - Catherine. - No. 478 00:19:52,904 --> 00:19:54,566 - Catherine. Okay. - Sorry. 479 00:19:54,664 --> 00:19:56,838 Even labor and delivery with her was a nightmare. 480 00:19:56,936 --> 00:19:57,990 Oh, yes? Why is that? 481 00:19:58,088 --> 00:19:59,270 You have a very narrow vagina? 482 00:19:59,368 --> 00:20:00,902 Well, tight. In the States we say tight. 483 00:20:00,999 --> 00:20:04,454 The Chinese economy is in a worse state than anyone realized. 484 00:20:04,552 --> 00:20:06,214 These sanctions, they are really crippling them. 485 00:20:06,312 --> 00:20:08,421 And Chi-Jang, he is a proud, stubborn man. 486 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:10,278 Like a Chinese Mr. Darcy. 487 00:20:10,376 --> 00:20:12,518 But stupid also, like a Chinese Mr. Bingley. 488 00:20:12,615 --> 00:20:13,862 I love "Mary Poppins." 489 00:20:13,960 --> 00:20:16,774 So if the United States lifts the sanctions 490 00:20:16,872 --> 00:20:19,366 and is prepared to meet their demands for industrial metals 491 00:20:19,464 --> 00:20:23,494 for the next 25 years, the Chinese might... 492 00:20:23,592 --> 00:20:27,815 might be prepared to discuss Tibet. 493 00:20:27,912 --> 00:20:30,886 - To bet on what? - Wait, to talk about freeing Tibet? 494 00:20:30,984 --> 00:20:33,319 No, they are prepared to discuss a framework for talks 495 00:20:33,416 --> 00:20:35,078 aimed at a possible path to self-determination. 496 00:20:35,176 --> 00:20:37,734 - I'm freeing Tibet? - No, no, not free. 497 00:20:37,832 --> 00:20:40,807 It would likely be one country, two systems similar to Hong Kong. 498 00:20:40,905 --> 00:20:43,302 - That's it. - Bono's gonna shit his sunglasses. 499 00:20:43,400 --> 00:20:46,439 That is like some man on the moon legacy shit. 500 00:20:46,536 --> 00:20:50,887 My God, Selina Meyer, the woman who freed Tibet. 501 00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:52,615 Not... no, really, not free. 502 00:20:52,713 --> 00:20:54,375 What about the factories in Ohio? 503 00:20:54,473 --> 00:20:56,167 Jonah's ahead in all the latest polls. 504 00:20:56,265 --> 00:20:58,727 Fuck those factories, man. I'm freeing Tibet. 505 00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,614 - Fuck it! - Really, not freeing. 506 00:21:00,713 --> 00:21:02,311 It is, of course, tragic 507 00:21:02,409 --> 00:21:04,999 for the unemployed workers of Ohio and North Carolina. 508 00:21:05,097 --> 00:21:06,471 Well, they should have tried going to college. 509 00:21:06,569 --> 00:21:08,487 Worry about your own unemployment in Finland. 510 00:21:08,585 --> 00:21:10,151 We don't have unemployment in Finland. 511 00:21:10,249 --> 00:21:13,127 I'm gonna win a Nobel fucking Peace Prize, you guys. 512 00:21:13,225 --> 00:21:15,399 Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! Yeah! 513 00:21:15,497 --> 00:21:17,255 - Oh, sorry. Are you all right? - It's okay. 514 00:21:17,353 --> 00:21:19,751 And Tibet will have a new future. 515 00:21:19,849 --> 00:21:22,225 Oh, God, sorry, sorry. Excuse me. Hey, babe. 516 00:21:22,249 --> 00:21:23,198 Hare Krishna. 517 00:21:23,273 --> 00:21:25,064 Hi. How was the ultrasound? 518 00:21:27,721 --> 00:21:29,799 Twins? Oh, my God. 519 00:21:29,897 --> 00:21:32,519 Oh, no, I'm twice as happy now. 520 00:21:33,765 --> 00:21:36,351 Hmm, who should I vote for, huh? 521 00:21:36,426 --> 00:21:37,863 Pow, pow. 522 00:21:37,961 --> 00:21:41,832 Who should I vote for? You can't teach that. 523 00:21:41,930 --> 00:21:43,656 I hope he votes for himself. 524 00:21:43,754 --> 00:21:46,759 Oh, I'm sorry. I need another ballot. 525 00:21:46,857 --> 00:21:49,256 I just... I just need another ballot. 526 00:21:49,354 --> 00:21:51,688 Pow, pow. 527 00:21:51,786 --> 00:21:53,448 I don't want to talk to you. 528 00:21:53,546 --> 00:21:55,335 I want to tell you something, 529 00:21:55,434 --> 00:21:58,152 but it's very confidential, okay? 530 00:21:58,250 --> 00:22:00,999 Mommy is going to free Tibet. 531 00:22:01,097 --> 00:22:02,568 I don't care. 532 00:22:02,665 --> 00:22:04,840 Catherine, come on, honey, remember when you were little 533 00:22:04,937 --> 00:22:08,072 and you had that "Free Tibet" sticker and you put it up on the wall 534 00:22:08,170 --> 00:22:11,848 and we couldn't get it off, remember, because you put it on wallpaper inexplicably. 535 00:22:11,946 --> 00:22:14,504 Hey, Kit-Cat. It's me. Can I come in? 536 00:22:14,602 --> 00:22:15,976 Just you. 537 00:22:18,666 --> 00:22:22,024 - Hey, baby. - Well, yeah. 538 00:22:29,226 --> 00:22:30,697 Wonderful. 539 00:22:30,794 --> 00:22:33,321 - Gan bei! - Gan bei! 540 00:22:34,635 --> 00:22:36,457 And now, let us celebrate 541 00:22:36,555 --> 00:22:39,241 with a traditional Christmas feast. 542 00:22:39,339 --> 00:22:41,576 This is a... 543 00:22:43,627 --> 00:22:46,569 culturally significant and traditional... 544 00:22:46,667 --> 00:22:48,681 - Freedom log. - ...freedom log. 545 00:22:48,779 --> 00:22:52,777 Why don't we slice that up for everyone to enjoy? 546 00:22:52,875 --> 00:22:57,417 You know, we have a statement that is ready for release. 547 00:22:59,371 --> 00:23:01,129 There will be no statement. 548 00:23:01,226 --> 00:23:03,209 These are very delicate issues 549 00:23:03,307 --> 00:23:04,456 and cannot be rushed. 550 00:23:04,555 --> 00:23:05,705 Oh, yes, of course. 551 00:23:05,803 --> 00:23:07,785 I understand that completely. 552 00:23:07,883 --> 00:23:12,329 Although, perhaps when things are as significant as Tibet, 553 00:23:12,427 --> 00:23:17,321 things are accidently leaked to the press 554 00:23:17,419 --> 00:23:20,681 so that the world may know of our accomplishments. 555 00:23:24,587 --> 00:23:26,986 It would be very unfortunate if it also leaked 556 00:23:27,083 --> 00:23:30,953 that you lied to your country about our hacking of your tweets. 557 00:23:31,051 --> 00:23:32,650 That is ridiculous. 558 00:23:32,748 --> 00:23:35,145 We have your emails to prove it. 559 00:23:37,099 --> 00:23:40,874 Okay, well, we can just wait for you guys to release a statement. 560 00:23:40,972 --> 00:23:43,050 - Xiè xie. - Xiè xie. 561 00:23:45,035 --> 00:23:46,057 Minna. 562 00:23:48,619 --> 00:23:50,537 Mr. McLintock? 563 00:23:50,636 --> 00:23:52,586 - Mm-hmm. - Good news. 564 00:23:52,684 --> 00:23:54,442 Your adoption paper has been approved. 565 00:23:54,539 --> 00:23:57,674 You and your wife soon will have a Chinese baby. 566 00:23:57,771 --> 00:23:59,402 Congratulations. 567 00:24:01,707 --> 00:24:03,178 What is happening? 568 00:24:03,275 --> 00:24:04,618 Well, good-bye, Andrew. 569 00:24:04,716 --> 00:24:07,530 Catherine has any questions about the Brazil investment, 570 00:24:07,628 --> 00:24:09,450 - always available. - I have a question. 571 00:24:09,548 --> 00:24:12,618 Is it actually an investment in Brazil? 572 00:24:12,716 --> 00:24:13,802 I can take this if you'd like. 573 00:24:13,900 --> 00:24:15,562 - Oh, thank you. - Yeah, sure. 574 00:24:15,660 --> 00:24:17,482 - Thank you for everything, ma'am. - Oh, you're so welcome. 575 00:24:17,580 --> 00:24:20,490 All right, wheels up in 10 minutes on Marine One. 576 00:24:20,588 --> 00:24:21,834 Pick up the... 577 00:24:21,932 --> 00:24:24,042 - Oh, hi, Catherine. - Really? 578 00:24:24,140 --> 00:24:25,643 - What? - It's official. 579 00:24:25,740 --> 00:24:27,978 At 8:20 this evening, the Widow Sherman conceded. 580 00:24:28,077 --> 00:24:30,539 Oh, H.R. Fucknstuf, Jonah won the election? 581 00:24:30,636 --> 00:24:31,494 It was a small margin. 582 00:24:31,518 --> 00:24:33,506 But still counts as a sign of the apocalypse. 583 00:24:33,581 --> 00:24:36,874 - So Jonah's gonna vote for me and I'm... - Gonna be president! 584 00:24:36,973 --> 00:24:38,762 - I've got to call him. - I got him. He's right here. 585 00:24:38,860 --> 00:24:40,395 Oh, my God. 586 00:24:40,493 --> 00:24:41,994 Congressman Ryan. 587 00:24:42,092 --> 00:24:43,787 Hello, Madam President. 588 00:24:43,885 --> 00:24:46,187 - Or should I call you colleague now? - I wouldn't. 589 00:24:46,284 --> 00:24:47,883 And I just want to let you know that I, 590 00:24:47,981 --> 00:24:49,835 Congressman Jonah Ryan, 591 00:24:49,933 --> 00:24:53,291 will personally deliver you the vote that delivers you the presidency. 592 00:24:53,389 --> 00:24:56,619 - That means so much to me. - Ma'am, while I have you on the phone, 593 00:24:56,717 --> 00:24:59,627 New Hampshire is struggling with an epidemic of opiate addict... 594 00:24:59,725 --> 00:25:00,971 Yeah, I'm not gonna... 595 00:25:01,069 --> 00:25:02,443 Oh! Oh, God. 596 00:25:02,540 --> 00:25:05,131 - Oh, good. That goes in my bag. - Yeah. 597 00:25:09,325 --> 00:25:11,915 I can elect anyone in New Hampshire. 598 00:25:12,013 --> 00:25:14,764 - I can elect a Muslim AIDS virus. - Okay, Jeff. 599 00:25:14,861 --> 00:25:17,419 A terrorist fucking AIDS virus 600 00:25:17,517 --> 00:25:20,331 in the tiniest suicide vest ever made, 601 00:25:20,429 --> 00:25:22,059 I could make it governor of New Hampshire. 602 00:25:22,157 --> 00:25:23,404 Okay, Jeff, you're drunk. 603 00:25:23,502 --> 00:25:25,579 New Hampshire, wow. Wow, New Hampshire. 604 00:25:25,678 --> 00:25:26,828 Thank you. 605 00:25:26,925 --> 00:25:30,124 Oh, my God. I did this. 606 00:25:30,222 --> 00:25:33,131 We just elected Jonah to Congress. 607 00:25:33,229 --> 00:25:36,395 Looking around, I see so many familiar faces of people 608 00:25:36,494 --> 00:25:39,500 - that supported me and believed in me. - Yeah. 609 00:25:39,597 --> 00:25:41,580 And I see a few that didn't. 610 00:25:41,678 --> 00:25:43,179 Like Jessica Thompson. 611 00:25:43,277 --> 00:25:45,964 Hey, Jessica. Jessica, I see you there. 612 00:25:46,061 --> 00:25:47,852 Yeah, it's been a long time since high school. 613 00:25:47,950 --> 00:25:49,452 I like what you did with your hair. 614 00:25:49,549 --> 00:25:51,755 - Do you like what I did with my life? - Oh! 615 00:25:51,854 --> 00:25:54,796 Jimmy O'Connor, I've been waiting 20 years to say this to you. 616 00:25:54,893 --> 00:25:57,452 Oh, my God, I did this. 617 00:25:57,550 --> 00:25:59,660 You just elected Jonah to Congress. 618 00:25:59,758 --> 00:26:02,059 I think that you are the spaz. 619 00:26:02,158 --> 00:26:03,756 But through it all, 620 00:26:03,854 --> 00:26:07,724 there was one person who truly believed in Jonah Ryan 621 00:26:07,821 --> 00:26:10,028 and that was Jonah Ryan. 622 00:26:10,126 --> 00:26:11,532 This is my dream, 623 00:26:11,630 --> 00:26:14,156 that you can believe in yourself so hard 624 00:26:14,254 --> 00:26:16,492 that you eventually become a congressman. 625 00:26:16,590 --> 00:26:18,988 Thank you, New Hampshire. Thank you. 626 00:26:19,087 --> 00:26:21,484 Yeah, well, we're thrilled. Thank you, Congressman. 627 00:26:21,582 --> 00:26:24,044 Jonah is gonna be sworn in with the rest of the freshmen. 628 00:26:24,142 --> 00:26:25,109 Yeah. 629 00:26:25,133 --> 00:26:28,036 Mom, I've come to a decision, by the way, 630 00:26:28,110 --> 00:26:29,868 about the Palm Beach house. 631 00:26:29,966 --> 00:26:32,621 - Okay, Catherine, listen... - I'm keeping it. 632 00:26:32,719 --> 00:26:34,700 Oh, Catherine. 633 00:26:34,799 --> 00:26:37,836 And I'm turning it into a sanctuary for rescued farm animals. 634 00:26:37,935 --> 00:26:39,373 What? 635 00:26:39,470 --> 00:26:41,932 - Rescued farm animals. - Yeah, I heard her. 636 00:26:42,030 --> 00:26:43,404 I think it's inspiring, ma'am. 637 00:26:43,502 --> 00:26:45,101 You're taking my daddy's house 638 00:26:45,199 --> 00:26:49,805 and turning it into some Club Med for goats? 639 00:26:49,903 --> 00:26:51,085 Well, it won't be just goats. 640 00:26:51,182 --> 00:26:52,844 I mean, there's so much property 641 00:26:52,942 --> 00:26:54,701 that we were talking about all different kinds of animals. 642 00:26:54,799 --> 00:26:56,365 I mean, you could have ducks or... 643 00:26:56,463 --> 00:26:58,221 - Lame horses. - Pigs. 644 00:26:58,319 --> 00:27:00,333 - Pigs. Potbellied pigs. - Emus. 645 00:27:00,431 --> 00:27:02,701 - Oh. - And we could have horses as well. 646 00:27:02,798 --> 00:27:04,589 - Okay. - We could have peacocks, too. 647 00:27:04,687 --> 00:27:07,021 - Can you do llamas? - Oh, yeah, we could have llamas. 648 00:27:07,119 --> 00:27:09,485 - Llamas. - Maybe a three-legged goat.