1
00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:05,039
I Hey, Mr Dream Seller,
where have you been?
2
00:00:05,520 --> 00:00:10,150
I Tell me have you dreams
I can see?
3
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:15,518
I I came along
just to bring you this song
4
00:00:15,880 --> 00:00:20,112
I Can you spare one dream
for me?
5
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:28,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll
6
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,592
Morning.
7
00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:06,149
"Good morning, Tony.
How are you this morning?"
8
00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:08,760
"Oh, I'm good, thanks."
"Would you like a cup of tea?"
9
00:01:08,800 --> 00:01:13,271
"Oh, that'd be lovely.
Here, let me do it for you."
10
00:01:22,800 --> 00:01:24,836
Where'd you get that?
11
00:01:24,880 --> 00:01:27,189
I didn't get it anywhere.
Leo did.
12
00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,757
Well, are you not gonna say
anything?
13
00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,679
They're getting married, Tony,
behind our backs.
14
00:01:35,720 --> 00:01:38,518
By God, he's a sneaky little
bugger!
15
00:01:38,560 --> 00:01:41,438
What's sneaky is you opening
other people's mail.
16
00:01:41,480 --> 00:01:43,675
Excuse me! I did no such thing.
17
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:46,439
Oh?
So where did that come from?
18
00:01:46,480 --> 00:01:47,879
It was in the mail.
19
00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:51,595
- Who was it addressed to?
- A member of the family.
20
00:01:51,640 --> 00:01:52,755
- Which one?
- Leo.
21
00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:53,835
- Who opened it?
- I did.
22
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,075
So you opened Leo's mail!
23
00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,111
Well, if you put it like that,
yes.
24
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,310
But you're missing the point,
Tony.
25
00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:03,079
They're getting married
behind my back!
26
00:02:09,920 --> 00:02:13,196
- Morning.
- Morning, Jackie.
27
00:02:13,240 --> 00:02:16,755
Oh, you look absolutely
battered, love.
28
00:02:16,800 --> 00:02:19,633
Dean stay over again, did he?
29
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:21,591
Yeah.
30
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,517
Crikey, it's a bit early,
isn't it?
31
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:25,755
Oh, it's for the tiramisu.
32
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:29,270
Tony asked me to make him one
for his soft opening.
33
00:02:29,320 --> 00:02:33,711
- Say again?
- He's opening his café tonight.
34
00:02:33,760 --> 00:02:36,991
Not to the public,
just to friends and family.
35
00:02:37,040 --> 00:02:39,873
So I said I'd do him
one of my tiramisus.
36
00:02:40,520 --> 00:02:43,398
So, it's all going well, is it?
37
00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:48,355
Oh, Mum, I can't believe it.
He's amazing.
38
00:02:48,400 --> 00:02:52,837
In fact, I think...
I think I might be in love.
39
00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:56,953
He's kind, gentle, romantic...
40
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,195
He makes me feel like
a real woman.
41
00:02:59,240 --> 00:03:01,834
Oh, that is so lovely.
42
00:03:01,880 --> 00:03:03,836
Plus he's hung like a donkey.
43
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:05,518
Oh!
44
00:03:07,560 --> 00:03:09,357
All I'm saying is,
you don't even know
45
00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:11,470
if that's what
they're actually planning.
46
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,114
- Well, I will in a minute.
- Ah!
47
00:03:14,160 --> 00:03:15,559
- Give us it.
- No. Ah, ah!
48
00:03:15,600 --> 00:03:17,477
If you don't give me that phone,
49
00:03:17,520 --> 00:03:20,353
I'll pluck your nose hairs
when you're asleep again.
50
00:03:20,400 --> 00:03:22,960
Pam, listen to us. Leave it.
51
00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,513
Even if they are... thinking of
getting married...
52
00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,552
Ooh! "Horse drawn carriages
with a twist"!
53
00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,909
Ha, ha! Have you looked at this?
54
00:03:34,960 --> 00:03:36,951
If they think I am getting
towed to a church
55
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,797
by a donkey with
a bow on its head,
56
00:03:38,840 --> 00:03:40,478
they've got another
thing coming.
57
00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,479
- We have to wait and...
- Oh, look! "Budget Buffet."
58
00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:47,398
"Try using onion in any
traditional sandwich filling
59
00:03:47,440 --> 00:03:48,998
to make a little go a long way."
60
00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:52,589
- Wait till they announce it.
- What will they do about cake?
61
00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,915
Why even bother having a sponge?
62
00:03:54,960 --> 00:03:56,871
Just bus everybody
down to Greggs,
63
00:03:56,920 --> 00:03:59,957
give them a bit of pocket money
and let them queue up a Yum Yum.
64
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,513
Here.
65
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:05,354
It's too soon, Tony.
It's far too soon.
66
00:04:05,400 --> 00:04:07,550
That might be true,
but it's up to them.
67
00:04:08,960 --> 00:04:11,793
Leo and Judy are a couple.
68
00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:14,479
We have to respect that.
69
00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,432
- Agreed?
- Agreed.
70
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,118
Tony!
71
00:04:29,960 --> 00:04:33,350
- I'm out.
- Charming!
72
00:04:35,800 --> 00:04:37,950
I am pleased for you, love.
73
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,913
All I'm saying is, we don't want
you rushing in feet first again.
74
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,474
- No need to worry about that.
- Are you sure?
75
00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:46,511
He's only just filed
for his divorce.
76
00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:49,028
It'll be weeks before we put
anything on Facebook.
77
00:04:50,120 --> 00:04:53,954
- Where are you two off to?
- The trans support group.
78
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,912
You've not known him that long,
though, Jackie.
79
00:04:56,960 --> 00:04:58,632
Going to show off
your boyfriend?
80
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,716
You got it in one!
81
00:05:00,760 --> 00:05:03,433
I'm saying, love,
you hardly really know him.
82
00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:06,438
True, but Melissa
who works down Morrisons does.
83
00:05:06,480 --> 00:05:09,552
- Does she?
- Her mum has two kids off him.
84
00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:11,238
OK!
85
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:13,316
- Right, see you soon.
- Bye-bye.
86
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:16,557
Oh, Jackie,
I don't mean to fuss.
87
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,233
I just want the best for you,
that's all.
88
00:05:20,280 --> 00:05:24,034
I know you do. But trust me.
89
00:05:24,800 --> 00:05:28,270
I know he might seem a bit rough
round the edges,
90
00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:31,198
but underneath,
he's a real gentleman.
91
00:05:31,240 --> 00:05:33,879
Jackie, there's a rat up
here looking for a trap.
92
00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:35,433
Oh...
93
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:47,993
- Morning, Pam.
- Morning, Anj.
94
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,918
- How are you?
- Yeah, not bad, thanks.
95
00:05:53,200 --> 00:05:54,838
Hiya! Can I just...
96
00:05:59,080 --> 00:06:01,036
Pam, what is it?
What's the matter?
97
00:06:01,080 --> 00:06:03,036
It's Leo and Judy... they...
98
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:05,150
I can't even
bring myself to say it...
99
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,236
- Oh, no.
- Yep.
100
00:06:07,280 --> 00:06:09,350
- They're splitting up?
- No, man!
101
00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,072
- They're taking drugs?
- No.
102
00:06:11,120 --> 00:06:12,758
- Getting tattoos?
- What?
103
00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:15,473
Matching tattoos. He's having
a Chinese symbol on his bum
104
00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:18,080
and she's getting a bald eagle
across her shoulder blades?
105
00:06:18,120 --> 00:06:20,315
- Oh, for God's sake, man, Anji!
- Sorry, Pam.
106
00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:22,430
I'm just thinking worst case
scenarios here.
107
00:06:22,480 --> 00:06:25,517
Leo and Judy are getting
married!
108
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,516
I tell you what,
I'd have paid good money
109
00:06:27,560 --> 00:06:29,471
to be a fly on the wall
when me mam was here.
110
00:06:29,520 --> 00:06:31,590
- I know!
- She's unbelievable, isn't she?
111
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:34,154
She keeps going like this,
she'll be more trans than you.
112
00:06:37,240 --> 00:06:40,118
- Not nervous, are you?
- Course not. You?
113
00:06:40,160 --> 00:06:42,310
No. Quite looking forward to it,
actually.
114
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,191
You can stick it up your arse!
115
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:48,192
All right?
116
00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:02,629
Go.
117
00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:04,557
Oh, man!
118
00:07:04,600 --> 00:07:06,830
Come on, three minutes tops
for an omelette.
119
00:07:06,880 --> 00:07:08,871
Shush. Let us get on with it.
120
00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:12,950
- Move. Let me do it.
- Shush!
121
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,069
Simple.
122
00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:16,917
- Ah, give us another egg.
- Give it us.
123
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:19,997
Come on. Running out of time!
Come on!
124
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,792
Stop shouting at us.
125
00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,239
You wouldn't say that
to Gordon Ramsay.
126
00:07:23,280 --> 00:07:25,157
Now get on with it,
you dickhead!
127
00:07:26,160 --> 00:07:27,559
Ohh, I...
128
00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:30,672
- And he told you about it when?
- This morning.
129
00:07:30,720 --> 00:07:32,392
What did he say?
130
00:07:32,440 --> 00:07:34,556
Well, he didn't so much as say
it, he more...
131
00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,318
More what?
132
00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,669
- Hinted at it.
- Hinted at it how?
133
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:42,429
Well, he gave us a clue and
I had to figure out the rest.
134
00:07:42,480 --> 00:07:44,675
Ah, so you opened his mail
again?
135
00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:49,395
OK there, Dorothy!
Hot enough for you?
136
00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,875
Ah-ah! Remember what we said.
137
00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,993
OK, what's this?
138
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,712
Check on! We've got a smoothie.
139
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:10,355
So we need apples, oranges,
bananas.
140
00:08:10,400 --> 00:08:14,109
Right, come on, get chopping!
Get chopping now!
141
00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:16,593
Do it!
142
00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,557
Do it now!
143
00:08:25,520 --> 00:08:27,317
I just thought, as his mother,
144
00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,954
he might at least tell me
he was thinking about it.
145
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,718
It's not like Leo to keep
secrets.
146
00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:34,957
Apart from the one that he had
about Judy being transgender.
147
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:37,434
Well, yes, apart from that one.
Thank you, Anji.
148
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,277
But it's far too soon.
149
00:08:39,320 --> 00:08:40,912
You know how fond I am of Judy,
150
00:08:40,960 --> 00:08:43,155
but it's too soon to be thinking
about weddings.
151
00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:46,158
We'll need to start thinking
about an outfit...
152
00:08:46,200 --> 00:08:48,395
I mean, how long till I got
engaged to Tony?
153
00:08:48,440 --> 00:08:50,192
That was different, though.
154
00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:53,471
You waited for his mam to kick
the bucket to get the house.
155
00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:56,353
At the end of the day, Pam,
they obviously love each other.
156
00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:59,710
It's not above love, man, Anji.
It's about marriage!
157
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:04,116
Come on, Dad.
Running out of time!
158
00:09:05,200 --> 00:09:07,191
Come on, we can do this.
Don't forget to...
159
00:09:11,720 --> 00:09:13,472
...put the lid on.
160
00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:20,829
So my lawyer said
we've definitely got a case
161
00:09:20,880 --> 00:09:22,871
for discrimination
in the workplace,
162
00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:24,069
what do you want to do?
163
00:09:24,120 --> 00:09:25,235
I said, "Sue!"
164
00:09:25,280 --> 00:09:27,316
He said, "It can be quite
a stressful process,
165
00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:29,191
sure you want
to go through with it?"
166
00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:33,472
I said, "I've just spent four
hours in the Metro Centre
167
00:09:33,520 --> 00:09:36,239
trying to find a pair of
kitten heels in size 11.
168
00:09:36,280 --> 00:09:38,396
Trust me,
this will be a piece of piss."
169
00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,159
Thanks for that, Viv.
170
00:09:41,200 --> 00:09:43,316
Would anybody else
like to share with us now?
171
00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,279
I will.
172
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:53,997
Um... I'd just like to say
I am so sorry for earlier.
173
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:56,474
It just really pisses me off
when people tell me what to do.
174
00:09:56,520 --> 00:09:58,590
I wasn't trying to tell you what
to do, Charlie.
175
00:09:58,640 --> 00:10:00,119
- I was just saying...
- Alex.
176
00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:04,836
Why, if I meet a girl, do I have
to be all like, "Oh! I'm trans!"
177
00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:06,916
I walk down the street
and people don't know.
178
00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,313
You know what I mean.
179
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:10,191
- Me?
- Yeah.
180
00:10:10,240 --> 00:10:13,596
I mean, we're born female
outside, but inside, we're men.
181
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:16,677
- I'm a man, though.
- So am I.
182
00:10:16,720 --> 00:10:19,792
- I-I've always been a man.
- Exactly!
183
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:22,593
He's not trans.
He thinks you're trans, love.
184
00:10:22,640 --> 00:10:26,394
- F to M. Female to male.
- Oh, no, I'm not trans.
185
00:10:26,440 --> 00:10:28,670
- Oh.
- I'm just a normal bloke.
186
00:10:28,720 --> 00:10:31,518
Normal? Are you trying to say
I ain't normal?
187
00:10:31,560 --> 00:10:33,039
Charlie!
188
00:10:33,080 --> 00:10:35,196
- He didn't mean it like that.
- I really didn't.
189
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:37,310
Normal is a setting on
a washing machine, mate.
190
00:10:37,360 --> 00:10:39,271
Leo's my partner.
He just came along with me.
191
00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:40,833
He didn't mean to offend anyone.
192
00:10:40,880 --> 00:10:43,030
You are trans, though,
aren't you, darling?
193
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:45,878
Judy's MDF.
194
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,876
I'll just shut up.
195
00:10:56,080 --> 00:10:58,878
- How are you feeling?
- Great. Couldn't be better.
196
00:10:59,840 --> 00:11:01,796
Jimmy, why not hold off
opening the doors?
197
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:03,796
- We're not ready, man.
- Dad.
198
00:11:03,840 --> 00:11:04,829
Dad.
199
00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:09,238
- Listen. You can do this.
- Jimmy, I can't.
200
00:11:09,280 --> 00:11:11,350
- You can.
- No, I can't...
201
00:11:11,400 --> 00:11:14,551
- What did you do that for?
- Wanna be a winner or a loser?
202
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:17,433
Believe it or not, slapping me
in the face doesn't help.
203
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:20,517
What do you think Mam'll say
when you turn around and say,
204
00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:23,279
"Sorry, Pam, love,
I can't do it."
205
00:11:23,320 --> 00:11:25,038
I've made a terrible mistake"?
206
00:11:25,080 --> 00:11:26,672
Ah, shite, man.
207
00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:28,915
"Well, Tony.
Wasn't it a good idea
208
00:11:28,960 --> 00:11:31,190
sticking all that
redundancy money
209
00:11:31,240 --> 00:11:33,674
into that rat-infested
greasy spoon?
210
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,439
I didn't get my conservatory
with vertical blinds,
211
00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:39,278
but you take your time, these
Michelin stars don't come easy."
212
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:41,675
All right, let's do it.
213
00:11:41,720 --> 00:11:44,029
Go on. You've still got kiwi
in your hair.
214
00:11:50,280 --> 00:11:53,272
- Oh, God. Not today.
- Hiya, Pam. Hiya, Anji.
215
00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,118
- Hiya.
- Hiya, Jackie.
216
00:11:56,160 --> 00:11:58,833
- Bit windy out there, is it?
- Oh, right...
217
00:11:58,880 --> 00:12:02,077
I was going to wash it myself
but you know what it's like.
218
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:04,190
So much to do, so little time.
219
00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,117
What with my new look, my job,
220
00:12:06,160 --> 00:12:09,277
- my relationship...
- Sorry, your what?
221
00:12:09,320 --> 00:12:11,993
- She pulled the ratman.
- Me and Dean are now a couple.
222
00:12:12,040 --> 00:12:14,349
- Isn't he...
- Divorce is coming through.
223
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,197
- I saw...
- He deleted all his profiles.
224
00:12:16,240 --> 00:12:17,832
Didn't Lisa in the bookies
catch...
225
00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,678
He had a course of antibiotics
and it's all cleared up.
226
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:22,073
Dean and I are now
officially an item.
227
00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,588
Any chance of you
squeezing me in?
228
00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:28,349
Our boiler's playing up.
There's not a drop of hot water.
229
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:30,072
So after you've done the mop
230
00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:33,237
I'll pop in your bog for a quick
spit wash in your sink, OK?
231
00:12:33,280 --> 00:12:34,952
I'll check the book.
232
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:37,238
Hiya, Mam!
233
00:12:37,280 --> 00:12:40,750
Oh, my God, man!
Look at the state of you.
234
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:42,916
Spoon miss your mouth again?
235
00:12:42,960 --> 00:12:45,428
How's Marco Pierre
doing over there?
236
00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:47,436
Keeping a lid on things.
237
00:12:50,640 --> 00:12:52,312
- Anj.
- James.
238
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,078
- You all right?
- Fine, thanks.
239
00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:56,680
You look different. Done
something with your hair?
240
00:12:56,720 --> 00:12:59,029
- No.
- It's your make-up.
241
00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:00,433
- Different make-up?
- No.
242
00:13:00,480 --> 00:13:02,789
Eyebrows.
You've drawn them on different.
243
00:13:02,840 --> 00:13:04,319
No.
244
00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:10,071
Cool. I'm busy too.
So, you know, catch you laters.
245
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,596
So, er... just to let you know,
246
00:13:15,640 --> 00:13:18,074
that there's a slight delay
on proceedings next door
247
00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,633
so we'll start a bit later
tonight.
248
00:13:19,680 --> 00:13:21,159
Oh, what's happening tonight?
249
00:13:21,200 --> 00:13:25,318
It's a trial run of my husband's
new café, Dorothy.
250
00:13:25,360 --> 00:13:27,794
- What café?
- You know, the place next door.
251
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:30,195
- He's taken that over, has he?
- He has, Dorothy, aye.
252
00:13:30,240 --> 00:13:33,357
Oh, God bless him.
What a shithole.
253
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:38,197
There's quite a few tugs in it.
254
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:41,357
- Is that... Is that candle wax?
- Mm!
255
00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:43,792
Are you going to Tony's
this evening?
256
00:13:43,840 --> 00:13:45,353
Yeah, probably will.
257
00:13:45,400 --> 00:13:47,868
- Are you?
- Yeah. Me and Dean are going.
258
00:13:47,920 --> 00:13:50,309
So this is serious
between you two, is it?
259
00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:52,351
Could be, Anji, could be.
260
00:13:52,400 --> 00:13:55,119
I'm just trying to take my time
and see what happens.
261
00:13:55,160 --> 00:13:58,391
Quite right, love. I mean, one
wedding in the family's enough
262
00:13:58,440 --> 00:13:59,919
to be getting on with for now.
263
00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:01,234
Sorry?
264
00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:10,272
I mean, obviously I'd prefer
a church myself, Dean,
265
00:14:10,320 --> 00:14:12,993
but that'll be up to
Leo and Judy.
266
00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:14,712
- What did I tell you?
- What?
267
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,352
No one's supposed to know.
268
00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:20,359
No secrets between us
in this house, Dean.
269
00:14:20,400 --> 00:14:25,428
Ooh, how exciting! The first of
my daughters to get married.
270
00:14:25,480 --> 00:14:26,754
What d'you mean, the first?
271
00:14:26,800 --> 00:14:28,836
You've not been married before,
have you?
272
00:14:30,240 --> 00:14:33,073
- Well, I...
- To be fair, though,
273
00:14:33,120 --> 00:14:35,315
that wasn't what you'd really
call a marriage.
274
00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:36,429
No!
275
00:14:36,480 --> 00:14:39,278
- No. More a sort of sham.
- Mum!
276
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:40,958
She didn't love him,
277
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,956
and she was so drunk,
278
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:45,992
she had to have her trainers on
under her dress
279
00:14:46,040 --> 00:14:48,315
just to stay upright.
280
00:14:48,360 --> 00:14:50,430
And she didn't even know
his surname
281
00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:52,391
until he signed on the register.
282
00:14:52,440 --> 00:14:55,557
- Thanks, Mum.
- We've all made mistakes.
283
00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:58,319
- Yeah. Exactly, Dean.
- Oh, the worst one
284
00:14:58,360 --> 00:15:00,874
was when she got engaged
to the American marine
285
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,797
she met on the internet.
286
00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:06,958
- Have you told Dean about that?
- No, Peggy. She has not.
287
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:09,560
Of course he wasn't really
a marine,
288
00:15:09,600 --> 00:15:13,593
just a lad in Lagos
with a grainy webcam
289
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,757
and a hat with some badges
on it.
290
00:15:17,280 --> 00:15:22,991
She's pumped more money into the
Nigerian black market economy
291
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,873
than FIFA, haven't you, love?
292
00:15:25,920 --> 00:15:27,831
Yeah, that's enough,
thanks very much.
293
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,917
But in case you'd forgotten,
this isn't about me but Judy.
294
00:15:30,960 --> 00:15:33,520
Oh, I'm so pleased for her.
295
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:36,791
So am I. I'm just wondering
when she was going to tell us!
296
00:15:36,840 --> 00:15:38,558
Oh, you know what she's like.
297
00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,750
If anyone can keep
something to themselves,
298
00:15:40,800 --> 00:15:42,756
- it's Judy.
- Really?
299
00:15:42,800 --> 00:15:47,351
I mean, it took her 20 years
to tell us she was transgender!
300
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:50,552
What?
301
00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,717
- How long have you seen her?
- Few weeks.
302
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:58,470
You know, when I first met Leo,
I didn't know what to do.
303
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,956
I knew I had to tell him at some
point, but I was scared.
304
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:05,394
But then I thought, no,
I'm proud of who I am,
305
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,829
and people either accept that
or they don't.
306
00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:10,792
- So you just came out with it?
- Yeah.
307
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:13,798
She did, yeah. I remember it
like it was yesterday.
308
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:17,879
Beautiful restaurant,
romantic glow from the candle...
309
00:16:17,920 --> 00:16:19,592
She looked us in the eye
and said,
310
00:16:19,640 --> 00:16:21,119
"Leo, I was born with a penis."
311
00:16:21,880 --> 00:16:23,552
The wording's optional.
312
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:26,915
The thing is, Charlie,
it'll be OK.
313
00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:29,315
It has been for us.
I mean, we're...
314
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:33,875
...getting married.
- Congratulations.
315
00:16:33,920 --> 00:16:35,353
- Thanks.
- Cheers.
316
00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,118
Want to go for a pint
or something?
317
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:38,639
Ah, we can't, we're out tonight.
318
00:16:38,680 --> 00:16:41,638
My dad's just got this café
place in Lambton Square
319
00:16:41,680 --> 00:16:43,830
and he's having
an opening do thingy.
320
00:16:43,880 --> 00:16:44,949
Ah, OK.
321
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,877
You've got my number,
give me a call.
322
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:51,038
And Charlie, remember, whatever
happens, you'll be OK, yeah?
323
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,877
- Now?
- No!
324
00:16:58,480 --> 00:16:59,993
Stupid things!
325
00:17:00,800 --> 00:17:03,109
I wonder where we'll go
for the stag do.
326
00:17:03,160 --> 00:17:05,594
You know it's gotta be
somewhere secret.
327
00:17:05,640 --> 00:17:08,473
Somewhere dark and mysterious,
with a seedy underbelly.
328
00:17:08,520 --> 00:17:10,715
Somewhere where anything goes
and anything can happen.
329
00:17:10,760 --> 00:17:13,479
- Somewhere like...
- Your bedroom?
330
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:16,469
Gas on.
331
00:17:20,120 --> 00:17:22,156
But she looks just like a woman!
332
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:24,475
That's because she is a woman.
333
00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:26,272
Right, right.
334
00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,959
- Not really, though, is she?
- Dean!
335
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:31,070
I mean, she's not really
a woman, is she?
336
00:17:31,120 --> 00:17:32,109
Why's that?
337
00:17:32,160 --> 00:17:34,720
Well, because,
if you've been a man,
338
00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:36,273
then you're always a man.
339
00:17:37,800 --> 00:17:39,153
No?
340
00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:45,958
Jackie, top Dean up and we'll
talk him through it again.
341
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,275
Stick a brandy in it.
342
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,918
Smile!
343
00:18:16,880 --> 00:18:18,359
Tony!
344
00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,436
Tony, where are you?
345
00:18:23,480 --> 00:18:26,472
Ah, Madame, buenos... aires!
346
00:18:26,520 --> 00:18:28,351
James, where's your dad?
What's going on?
347
00:18:28,400 --> 00:18:30,231
He'll be five minutes.
He's a bit stressed.
348
00:18:30,280 --> 00:18:32,077
We think he's suffering
with burnout.
349
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:34,634
Burnout?
350
00:18:34,680 --> 00:18:36,272
Take a seat.
351
00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,514
- Anji.
- James.
352
00:18:40,560 --> 00:18:42,278
Right this way.
353
00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,916
- I can smell burning.
- I'll open the back door.
354
00:18:49,480 --> 00:18:52,392
- Hiya, Peggy.
- Hello!
355
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,398
- Hi, Peggy.
- Oh, is something burning?
356
00:18:55,440 --> 00:18:58,000
- I told you!
- It's the candles, Peggy.
357
00:18:58,040 --> 00:18:59,678
It smells like human hair.
358
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:02,837
I know that, because it's
exactly like the smell
359
00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:06,475
when I sit with my legs too
close to the electric fire.
360
00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,351
Sexy!
361
00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:11,191
All right, mate.
362
00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,515
Is that the V620 box
you've got under there?
363
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,791
Good choice. If you need any
help rounding up the carcasses,
364
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:19,035
- give us a shout.
- Thanks.
365
00:19:22,840 --> 00:19:24,239
Ladies.
366
00:19:25,600 --> 00:19:30,469
What in God's name
has happened to you, man?
367
00:19:30,520 --> 00:19:32,238
You've got a face like
a baboon's arse.
368
00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:34,396
It's very hot in the kitchen.
Isn't it, Dad?
369
00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:35,839
Very.
370
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:39,429
So what can Chef recommend?
371
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:43,917
Apart from a mosquito net
and a course of antibiotics?
372
00:19:43,960 --> 00:19:45,188
Tiramisu!
373
00:19:46,520 --> 00:19:49,239
Pam! Pam, have you met Dean?
374
00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,714
- No. Hiya, Dean.
- All right?
375
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,638
Pam works with Anj at the salon.
376
00:19:54,680 --> 00:19:57,513
All right, Anji. Any more
droppings round your back door?
377
00:19:57,560 --> 00:19:59,994
None at the moment, thanks,
Dean.
378
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:04,431
- So you two are an item now?
- Aye, that we are.
379
00:20:04,480 --> 00:20:07,472
That's nice.
Good luck with that, Dean.
380
00:20:09,760 --> 00:20:12,320
- How is it?
- Like cat piss.
381
00:20:12,800 --> 00:20:14,916
Hi! Sorry we're late.
382
00:20:14,960 --> 00:20:17,952
- Hello, Pam.
- Hi, Judy.
383
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,468
Hi, Tony. Your face is a bit...
384
00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,631
You all right, Dad?
385
00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:24,999
Judy! Dean's here.
386
00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:27,395
- Oh, hiya, Dean.
- All right, mate?
387
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:32,271
So let me get this straight.
388
00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:36,912
Does Pam know about the wedding?
389
00:20:36,960 --> 00:20:38,439
- No.
- Eh?
390
00:20:38,480 --> 00:20:42,871
She knows but she doesn't know.
391
00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:45,639
- Oh. And I know.
- That's right.
392
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:47,511
But I don't know?
393
00:20:47,560 --> 00:20:52,680
So both me and Pam don't know?
394
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:54,394
So I suppose it's sort of like
395
00:20:54,440 --> 00:20:56,510
the first night with
the in-laws, then?
396
00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:58,312
Oh, shut up about that, Anj.
397
00:20:58,360 --> 00:21:00,669
They're certainly
what you'd call eclectic.
398
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:04,235
That Jackie's a loose cannon,
and as for Peggy...
399
00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:06,590
She's harmless.
400
00:21:06,640 --> 00:21:08,198
You all right, Peggy?
401
00:21:09,240 --> 00:21:11,390
I don't know.
402
00:21:11,440 --> 00:21:14,637
Right.
Complete and utter nutter.
403
00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,356
So let me get this straight.
404
00:21:17,400 --> 00:21:21,518
If she's... trans,
does that make Leo gay?
405
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,915
- Right, I'm going over.
- No.
406
00:21:29,960 --> 00:21:32,076
- I am.
- Pam, don't!
407
00:21:33,600 --> 00:21:35,113
Hiya, Mam.
408
00:21:35,160 --> 00:21:38,516
Leo. Judy.
You're both all right?
409
00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:40,152
Yeah, good. Fine, thanks.
410
00:21:40,200 --> 00:21:43,078
- Have you had a nice day?
- Not bad.
411
00:21:43,120 --> 00:21:47,432
Did you do anything interesting?
Any news?
412
00:21:47,480 --> 00:21:49,835
- Like what?
- Well, I don't know.
413
00:21:49,880 --> 00:21:54,829
Is anything occurring that might
be of any note to your mother?
414
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:57,269
I told you we went
to the support group.
415
00:21:57,320 --> 00:21:59,231
- How was that?
- Good, wasn't it?
416
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,111
Yeah, Leo made lots
of new friends.
417
00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:03,628
Did he? Nothing else?
418
00:22:04,280 --> 00:22:06,794
Tiramisu, anyone?
419
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:09,991
Thanks, Dad.
420
00:22:12,600 --> 00:22:14,670
- She knows.
- No.
421
00:22:14,720 --> 00:22:17,314
- I swear to God, she knows.
- You're just being paranoid.
422
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,716
Same as his dad.
Can't get a peep out of him.
423
00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:24,149
D'you know, if it wasn't
for his travel sickness
424
00:22:24,200 --> 00:22:27,636
and his contact lenses he
could've been a bloody spy.
425
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:30,399
- Just get out there. Out now!
- No, I can't.
426
00:22:31,720 --> 00:22:35,679
Everybody, everybody. I'd like
to make a little speech.
427
00:22:37,960 --> 00:22:40,520
I'd just like to say...
428
00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:45,032
...I'd just like to say thank you
for coming tonight.
429
00:22:45,080 --> 00:22:47,958
It's been really tough getting
everything ready,
430
00:22:48,000 --> 00:22:53,120
and to be honest, I didn't think
we were going to make it.
431
00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,833
But here we are.
432
00:23:00,480 --> 00:23:02,391
I won't be long.
433
00:23:04,840 --> 00:23:06,558
- Hi, Charlie.
- Sorry.
434
00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:08,511
I tried ringing
but your phone was off.
435
00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:10,471
What's up?
Have you been drinking?
436
00:23:10,520 --> 00:23:13,592
Anyway, with no more ado,
I'd like you to sit back,
437
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,631
relax and enjoy yourselves.
438
00:23:15,680 --> 00:23:18,956
Oh, and anything on the board
with a line through it
439
00:23:19,000 --> 00:23:21,275
is currently unavailable.
440
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,432
Well, I decided to do it.
441
00:23:29,480 --> 00:23:31,994
I thought, "Judy's right,
why don't I just go for it
442
00:23:32,040 --> 00:23:34,110
and do what she did,
be true to myself?"
443
00:23:35,240 --> 00:23:38,198
So I did. I thought,
"If Tanya really likes me
444
00:23:38,240 --> 00:23:40,629
then she'll accept me
for who I am."
445
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:42,671
- So I told her.
- Good for you.
446
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:45,075
- And how did it go?
- Brilliant.
447
00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:48,237
She burst into tears,
accused me of being a lesbian
448
00:23:48,280 --> 00:23:51,158
and then buggered off
and left me to pay the bill.
449
00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:59,036
Come on in, Charlie. Everyone,
this is my new friend Charlie.
450
00:23:59,080 --> 00:24:01,071
Hello, Charlie.
451
00:24:01,120 --> 00:24:04,192
Grab a bowl, Charlie.
There's plenty of tiramisu.
452
00:24:12,840 --> 00:24:14,432
Oh, Jesus.
453
00:24:14,480 --> 00:24:16,516
How do you think it's going?
454
00:24:16,560 --> 00:24:18,630
Excellent. So proud of you.
455
00:24:19,720 --> 00:24:21,472
- You think so?
- Aye.
456
00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,795
Once we get rid of the mice,
sort the flies out
457
00:24:23,840 --> 00:24:25,637
and actually start serving food,
458
00:24:25,680 --> 00:24:27,671
this place is going
to really take off.
459
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,188
- Well done, Dad.
- And me.
460
00:24:30,240 --> 00:24:31,992
- Well done, Dad.
- Thanks, son.
461
00:24:32,040 --> 00:24:34,429
- Dead proud of you.
- As I've said for a long time,
462
00:24:34,480 --> 00:24:37,358
this area needs somewhere with
quality food at a fair price.
463
00:24:37,400 --> 00:24:40,233
And in the meantime,
they can just come here.
464
00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:42,635
Hey, hey!
465
00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:47,953
Everybody, I would like to
propose a toast!
466
00:24:49,640 --> 00:24:51,551
To my new best friend Judy.
467
00:24:51,600 --> 00:24:56,071
You are an inspiration even if I
am now single because of you.
468
00:24:56,120 --> 00:24:58,076
- Ah!
- She...
469
00:24:58,120 --> 00:25:01,829
She is gonna make Leo
the best wife ever.
470
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:06,434
To Leo and Judy, everybody!
471
00:25:10,920 --> 00:25:12,990
To Leo and Judy!
472
00:25:13,960 --> 00:25:15,916
To Leo and Judy.
473
00:25:25,720 --> 00:25:28,996
- We were gonna tell you, Mam.
- Were you now?
474
00:25:29,040 --> 00:25:31,713
I promise. We just wanted to
keep it to ourselves for a bit.
475
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,716
Leo...
476
00:25:36,040 --> 00:25:39,828
Leo, are you sure
you're doing the right thing?
477
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,873
Yeah. Yeah, I am.
478
00:25:44,920 --> 00:25:47,480
- Oh, God, I was sure you knew.
- God, you're a right one
479
00:25:47,520 --> 00:25:50,671
for keeping me in the dark,
aren't you, you little bugger?
480
00:25:51,560 --> 00:25:54,028
Mam, you've dropped your book.
481
00:25:56,080 --> 00:25:57,877
You dead!
482
00:26:02,840 --> 00:26:04,068
Is that...
483
00:26:05,360 --> 00:26:06,873
You opened my mail?
484
00:26:08,560 --> 00:26:10,516
So you knew?
485
00:26:10,560 --> 00:26:12,471
I didn't. I swear...
486
00:26:12,520 --> 00:26:14,875
Bloody shelves!
487
00:26:14,920 --> 00:26:16,114
Tony?
488
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:23,472
It's all right.
It's all under control.
489
00:26:25,480 --> 00:26:27,152
Sort of.
490
00:26:32,560 --> 00:26:34,551
I Meet me on the corner
491
00:26:34,600 --> 00:26:36,477
I When the lights are coming on
492
00:26:36,520 --> 00:26:38,272
I And I'll be there
493
00:26:38,320 --> 00:26:41,232
I I promise I'll be there
494
00:26:42,400 --> 00:26:44,516
I Down the empty streets
495
00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:47,120
I We'll disappear into the dawn
496
00:26:47,160 --> 00:26:51,278
I If you have dreams
enough to share
497
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:58,000
Ripped & Corrected By mstoll