1 00:00:00,046 --> 00:00:01,687 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa fwww.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:18,916 --> 00:00:20,184 I'm here, I'm here, I'm here, I'm here. 3 00:00:20,251 --> 00:00:21,937 I'm sorry, I know it was my turn 4 00:00:21,961 --> 00:00:22,928 to sort all the deliveries. 5 00:00:22,995 --> 00:00:24,039 And I did text you last night 6 00:00:24,064 --> 00:00:25,366 to tell you I wasn't coming home, but... 7 00:00:26,234 --> 00:00:27,164 Oh my God, Paige. 8 00:00:27,203 --> 00:00:29,443 - You already sorted all the product. - Yeah, I did get that text. 9 00:00:29,468 --> 00:00:31,308 I also got a weird 2:00 a.m. butt dial 10 00:00:31,375 --> 00:00:33,143 where someone was shouting, "Denver Broncos"? 11 00:00:33,211 --> 00:00:34,144 That's his safe word. 12 00:00:34,211 --> 00:00:35,226 Paige... 13 00:00:35,251 --> 00:00:37,201 - you sorted all the product. - Yup. 14 00:00:37,226 --> 00:00:38,582 You have your indica over there. 15 00:00:38,650 --> 00:00:40,310 Sativa on the right, hybrids in the middle. 16 00:00:40,335 --> 00:00:41,752 All the pre-rolled joints are over there. 17 00:00:41,818 --> 00:00:43,954 And our vape cartridges and gummies are in the baggies. 18 00:00:44,022 --> 00:00:45,990 This is the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. 19 00:00:46,055 --> 00:00:47,592 Paige, let me make it up to you. 20 00:00:49,697 --> 00:00:51,966 Oh, a muffin... 21 00:00:51,991 --> 00:00:53,464 that's been sitting in your bag 22 00:00:53,531 --> 00:00:54,406 for a couple hours. 23 00:00:54,431 --> 00:00:55,804 Jordan, you really shouldn't have. 24 00:00:55,829 --> 00:00:57,663 Okay, fine, substandard gift, I agree. 25 00:00:58,035 --> 00:01:00,438 I'm gonna roll you a perfect doob of 26 00:01:00,505 --> 00:01:01,606 Kylo Ren Faire. 27 00:01:01,672 --> 00:01:03,406 It's a classic morning high 28 00:01:03,473 --> 00:01:04,874 with a hint of... you know what? 29 00:01:04,942 --> 00:01:06,211 Maybe I will go back to bed. 30 00:01:06,276 --> 00:01:08,912 No, no, I am on a strict no-wake-and-bake policy. 31 00:01:15,617 --> 00:01:17,887 What, did you... what, on your face? 32 00:01:17,955 --> 00:01:20,291 Yes, they're all trying to do it now because of porn. 33 00:01:20,357 --> 00:01:21,904 - It's ruining everything. - Oh my God. 34 00:01:21,929 --> 00:01:22,893 We need to put it out there to guys. 35 00:01:22,960 --> 00:01:24,728 Like this is a no-splash zone. 36 00:01:24,794 --> 00:01:26,329 - Mm-mm. - Like do a PSA. 37 00:01:26,397 --> 00:01:27,234 Jizz. 38 00:01:27,259 --> 00:01:29,234 Men who care don't finish there. 39 00:01:29,300 --> 00:01:31,428 Brought to you by every woman's face in America. 40 00:01:31,453 --> 00:01:32,600 Girls are so much cleaner than that. 41 00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:34,272 And you never have to wash your hair afterwards. 42 00:01:34,338 --> 00:01:36,639 So where did you meet this doughnut glazer? 43 00:01:36,707 --> 00:01:38,342 Um, he was actually, uh, what's it called? 44 00:01:38,409 --> 00:01:39,844 My delivery. 45 00:01:39,910 --> 00:01:41,420 You (bleep) a customer? 46 00:01:41,445 --> 00:01:43,113 - Jordan! - But he made me muffins afterwards, 47 00:01:43,181 --> 00:01:44,114 so it's like... 48 00:01:44,181 --> 00:01:45,416 So this is a sex muffin? 49 00:01:45,482 --> 00:01:47,618 Oh my God, how close was this to your face? 50 00:01:47,684 --> 00:01:48,919 Not that close... hey, whoa, come on, 51 00:01:48,985 --> 00:01:50,687 don't be angry high right now, Paige. 52 00:01:50,755 --> 00:01:51,988 Go back to being carefree high. 53 00:01:52,056 --> 00:01:53,390 Remember when we were joking about jizz? 54 00:01:53,457 --> 00:01:55,521 Jordan, we cannot sleep with our customers. 55 00:01:55,546 --> 00:01:56,967 We are a pot delivery service, 56 00:01:56,992 --> 00:01:58,631 - not prostitutes. - I know we're not prostitutes. 57 00:01:58,656 --> 00:01:59,625 That's why I didn't take any money. 58 00:01:59,650 --> 00:02:01,399 You didn't take any money for the weed either? 59 00:02:01,465 --> 00:02:02,390 - Nope, I didn't. - Jordan, oh... 60 00:02:02,415 --> 00:02:04,234 It was one customer, multiple times, 61 00:02:04,302 --> 00:02:05,951 but it's not like gonna be a regular thing. 62 00:02:05,976 --> 00:02:07,204 When you asked me to help you with this, 63 00:02:07,270 --> 00:02:09,205 you said you wanted to start a real business. 64 00:02:09,273 --> 00:02:11,041 I was going to go into event planning. 65 00:02:11,108 --> 00:02:13,644 I gave up my lifestyle blog for this, Jordan. 66 00:02:13,710 --> 00:02:16,046 Whoa, P, I do care about this. 67 00:02:16,113 --> 00:02:18,014 - Mary + Jane means everything to me. - Mmm... 68 00:02:18,082 --> 00:02:20,383 I've invested every penny I have in this business. 69 00:02:20,451 --> 00:02:22,686 On my honor, we will be the great "ganjapreneurs" 70 00:02:22,752 --> 00:02:25,023 of the east side or we will die trying! 71 00:02:26,210 --> 00:02:27,792 Also, Daniel Day-Lewis 72 00:02:27,858 --> 00:02:29,226 is eating my underwear again. 73 00:02:29,292 --> 00:02:30,327 What? Hey! 74 00:02:30,394 --> 00:02:31,728 DDL, come here! 75 00:02:31,794 --> 00:02:33,530 Why does he always chew on my underwear? 76 00:02:33,596 --> 00:02:35,000 Why can he never chew on yours? 77 00:02:35,025 --> 00:02:37,070 _ 78 00:02:37,095 --> 00:02:39,063 I told you to stay out of Paige's room, dude. 79 00:02:39,088 --> 00:02:41,070 _ 80 00:02:42,239 --> 00:02:43,808 This is really starting to wear on me. 81 00:02:43,875 --> 00:02:44,942 Oh, he just needs exercise. 82 00:02:45,007 --> 00:02:46,076 Let me walk him around the block 83 00:02:46,143 --> 00:02:47,278 and then we'll go get breakfast. 84 00:03:02,192 --> 00:03:03,326 Oh, I'm starving. 85 00:03:03,394 --> 00:03:05,296 Why couldn't we just go to the Mexicatessen? 86 00:03:05,363 --> 00:03:07,698 Everyone says this place is amazing. 87 00:03:07,764 --> 00:03:09,466 Oh, look, it's Jenée. 88 00:03:09,534 --> 00:03:10,667 Jenée! 89 00:03:10,734 --> 00:03:11,935 Hey, chick-chacks. 90 00:03:12,002 --> 00:03:14,404 Ooh, you guys are here really late. 91 00:03:14,471 --> 00:03:15,872 I hope they don't run out. 92 00:03:15,940 --> 00:03:17,508 You guys should've just tweeted me your orders. 93 00:03:17,573 --> 00:03:19,776 The owner is obsessed with me. 94 00:03:19,844 --> 00:03:21,011 You look amazing. 95 00:03:21,078 --> 00:03:22,979 Uh, I am so over everything. 96 00:03:23,046 --> 00:03:24,765 You know how I got that book deal off my blog? 97 00:03:24,790 --> 00:03:26,484 Well, it turns out they're flying me to Tulum 98 00:03:26,549 --> 00:03:27,884 for this whole media conference. 99 00:03:27,952 --> 00:03:29,787 It's basically the new TED Talks. 100 00:03:29,853 --> 00:03:31,721 And now I have to buy sunscreen. 101 00:03:31,991 --> 00:03:33,060 So much yes. 102 00:03:33,085 --> 00:03:34,291 But anyways, once I'm done, 103 00:03:34,358 --> 00:03:36,427 I'm definitely gonna throw myself a bomb party. 104 00:03:36,493 --> 00:03:37,312 You guys should come. 105 00:03:37,337 --> 00:03:38,961 Softs3rve is gonna DJ. 106 00:03:39,029 --> 00:03:41,198 Ooh... I don't know how you guys left things 107 00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:43,166 after he dropped you off in Dumpsville. 108 00:03:43,233 --> 00:03:45,101 Oh, no, we're... we're totally fine. 109 00:03:45,168 --> 00:03:46,370 We're cool. 110 00:03:46,436 --> 00:03:48,945 Okay, 'cause you know he was just here. 111 00:03:49,328 --> 00:03:50,808 People were freaking out. 112 00:03:50,874 --> 00:03:53,093 He's basically the new Banksy. 113 00:03:53,118 --> 00:03:54,443 Softs3rve was here? 114 00:03:54,511 --> 00:03:56,680 Yeah, and you know he cut off that man bun. 115 00:03:56,746 --> 00:03:57,847 He looks really good. 116 00:03:57,915 --> 00:03:59,417 I think he's doing CrossFit. 117 00:04:00,510 --> 00:04:02,999 Oh, this place is already over. 118 00:04:03,032 --> 00:04:04,433 Bye, Jenée. 119 00:04:04,646 --> 00:04:06,447 Ugh, Jenée. 120 00:04:06,515 --> 00:04:08,258 You know her name is Jenny, right? 121 00:04:08,324 --> 00:04:10,493 Like there's no way her parents named her Jenée. 122 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:11,895 He was like just here. 123 00:04:11,962 --> 00:04:13,462 I just missed him. 124 00:04:13,529 --> 00:04:15,298 I always told him he should cut off that man bun. 125 00:04:15,365 --> 00:04:17,401 He has like the perfect jawline for short hair. 126 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:19,437 Hey, hey, hey, like the only reason she brought him up 127 00:04:19,502 --> 00:04:21,471 was to make you feel like shit. 128 00:04:21,538 --> 00:04:22,872 'Cause she's an asshole. 129 00:04:22,940 --> 00:04:25,740 Sorry, she's an assholé. 130 00:04:26,110 --> 00:04:27,979 Anyway, things are looking up for us, P. 131 00:04:28,045 --> 00:04:29,980 - We got a killer review on "Weeder LA" today. - Really? 132 00:04:30,046 --> 00:04:31,082 Like if we keep this up, 133 00:04:31,147 --> 00:04:32,849 we're gonna land on the Green 15. 134 00:04:32,916 --> 00:04:34,718 The Green 15! 135 00:04:34,784 --> 00:04:37,887 The top-15 weed dealers in the city. 136 00:04:37,954 --> 00:04:39,923 I've already been practicing my acceptance speech. 137 00:04:39,990 --> 00:04:41,492 I'm pretty sure there's not a ceremony. 138 00:04:41,558 --> 00:04:42,560 Best to be prepared. 139 00:04:42,627 --> 00:04:43,827 Look, look, look. 140 00:04:43,894 --> 00:04:45,570 "Dank wax, tasty buds, 141 00:04:45,595 --> 00:04:47,890 hot chicks who go the extra mile." 142 00:04:47,915 --> 00:04:48,915 Boom. 143 00:04:49,242 --> 00:04:51,101 Okay, see, this is why we... 144 00:04:52,735 --> 00:04:55,673 ...this is why we cannot sleep with our customers. 145 00:04:55,740 --> 00:04:56,740 What? Why? 146 00:04:56,807 --> 00:04:58,008 That doesn't say anything. 147 00:04:58,074 --> 00:05:00,217 Uh, "who go the extra mile"? 148 00:05:00,242 --> 00:05:03,079 Yeah, it's talking about our delivery radius. 149 00:05:03,147 --> 00:05:04,615 You realize that review basically says 150 00:05:04,682 --> 00:05:05,916 we're prostitutes. 151 00:05:05,983 --> 00:05:08,408 I think it's pretty clear we're drug dealers. 152 00:05:08,819 --> 00:05:10,755 Uh, uh, mostly legal 153 00:05:10,820 --> 00:05:11,921 prescription delivery service. 154 00:05:11,988 --> 00:05:13,390 Fine, no more sex. 155 00:05:13,457 --> 00:05:17,394 But if someone insists on just going down on me, 156 00:05:17,461 --> 00:05:18,763 then I have to let them. 157 00:05:18,829 --> 00:05:19,863 Mm-mm. 158 00:05:22,164 --> 00:05:24,234 Go, go, go, go, go... 159 00:05:24,301 --> 00:05:25,435 Welcome to MNNA. 160 00:05:25,502 --> 00:05:26,971 Cracked wheat or six-year sourdough? 161 00:05:27,038 --> 00:05:28,805 I'm gonna do the six-year sourdough and a coffee. 162 00:05:28,872 --> 00:05:29,807 Two please, with butter. 163 00:05:29,872 --> 00:05:31,007 We don't have butter. 164 00:05:31,074 --> 00:05:32,242 No butter, no jam, no spreads, 165 00:05:32,308 --> 00:05:34,143 also no coffee or any drinks. 166 00:05:34,211 --> 00:05:36,480 Wait, I'm sorry, you just sell dry toast? 167 00:05:36,546 --> 00:05:37,814 Two six-year sourdough. 168 00:05:37,882 --> 00:05:39,149 That's 14. 169 00:05:39,174 --> 00:05:40,368 Dollars? 170 00:05:40,393 --> 00:05:41,994 American dollars? 171 00:05:53,831 --> 00:05:55,766 Mmm... mm-hmm. 172 00:05:57,500 --> 00:05:58,274 No Instagramming! 173 00:05:58,299 --> 00:05:59,633 Get the (bleep) out! 174 00:06:05,175 --> 00:06:06,877 Yuck. 175 00:06:06,944 --> 00:06:08,454 Ooh, delivery. 176 00:06:08,479 --> 00:06:10,181 - Beachwood. - Nice. 177 00:06:10,206 --> 00:06:11,574 Oh, crap, it's Robbie. 178 00:06:11,602 --> 00:06:13,183 Ugh, come on. 179 00:06:13,250 --> 00:06:15,853 Ladies, hi! 180 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:16,954 How's business? 181 00:06:17,019 --> 00:06:18,688 Saw your review on "Weeder LA." 182 00:06:18,755 --> 00:06:22,125 You guys are offering prostitution services now too? 183 00:06:22,192 --> 00:06:23,293 See? 184 00:06:23,360 --> 00:06:24,661 What, do you just go through "Weeder LA" 185 00:06:24,728 --> 00:06:26,297 and look for our reviews? 186 00:06:26,363 --> 00:06:28,666 You must be really threatened by us, Robbie. 187 00:06:28,731 --> 00:06:29,866 Not at all, actually. 188 00:06:29,933 --> 00:06:30,868 I read that and I was like... 189 00:06:31,768 --> 00:06:32,769 ...good for them. 190 00:06:32,794 --> 00:06:34,162 That's adorable. 191 00:06:34,187 --> 00:06:36,839 I have something here that I thought you'd love to see. 192 00:06:36,906 --> 00:06:39,276 Oh, look who cracked the Green 15. 193 00:06:39,343 --> 00:06:41,044 (bleep) me with a Christmas tree. 194 00:06:41,110 --> 00:06:42,245 How did you do that? 195 00:06:42,312 --> 00:06:43,581 Easy, celebrity endorsement. 196 00:06:44,714 --> 00:06:45,649 Boom! 197 00:06:45,716 --> 00:06:46,684 Oh, come on. 198 00:06:46,750 --> 00:06:47,688 That's right, bitches. 199 00:06:47,713 --> 00:06:50,362 Pot Holder is Rogen approved. 200 00:06:50,387 --> 00:06:51,988 You got a picture with Seth Rogen? 201 00:06:52,055 --> 00:06:53,690 How much did you have to pay him to get him to do that? 202 00:06:53,757 --> 00:06:54,587 Nothing. 203 00:06:54,612 --> 00:06:56,234 I just send him some free Sour Diesel. 204 00:06:57,073 --> 00:06:58,374 Business. 205 00:06:58,399 --> 00:06:59,767 Big deal, who cares? 206 00:06:59,892 --> 00:07:00,926 I'm sorry? Big deal? 207 00:07:00,951 --> 00:07:01,952 - Yeah. - The Green 15? 208 00:07:01,977 --> 00:07:03,532 - Yeah. - Yeah, you're right. 209 00:07:03,557 --> 00:07:04,491 It is a big deal. 210 00:07:07,619 --> 00:07:08,754 Have a smoking day. 211 00:07:16,118 --> 00:07:18,254 We are getting on that goddamn list. 212 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:19,921 "Have a smoking day." 213 00:07:19,988 --> 00:07:21,690 Stupidest (bleep) catchphrase ever. 214 00:07:27,492 --> 00:07:28,826 I am not losing to Robbie 215 00:07:28,893 --> 00:07:29,994 because he got a selfie 216 00:07:30,061 --> 00:07:32,464 with the world's most famous stoner. 217 00:07:32,530 --> 00:07:33,564 Okay, who do we know? 218 00:07:33,631 --> 00:07:35,167 Who can we get a picture with? 219 00:07:35,234 --> 00:07:36,234 What? 220 00:07:39,102 --> 00:07:40,500 You okay? 221 00:07:41,037 --> 00:07:41,973 Yup. 222 00:07:43,275 --> 00:07:44,676 Okay, I... 223 00:07:44,742 --> 00:07:46,811 I just need to come out and say this. 224 00:07:46,878 --> 00:07:48,880 You need to get over this shitbag and move on. 225 00:07:48,946 --> 00:07:51,576 Jordan, I am fine, okay? 226 00:07:51,601 --> 00:07:53,585 I mean, I barely even think about him anymore. 227 00:07:53,651 --> 00:07:54,718 Look, I get it, okay? 228 00:07:54,785 --> 00:07:56,487 He is a rising graffiti artist 229 00:07:56,554 --> 00:07:57,789 with a mystique about him, 230 00:07:57,846 --> 00:08:00,347 like a smile from Kanye West. 231 00:08:00,372 --> 00:08:01,727 And, yeah, he makes ten grand a night 232 00:08:01,792 --> 00:08:03,456 to (bleep) DJ. 233 00:08:03,481 --> 00:08:05,050 Which is not a real job. 234 00:08:05,075 --> 00:08:08,131 And according to you, he has a huge penis. 235 00:08:08,198 --> 00:08:10,669 But at the end of the day, he's a... 236 00:08:10,735 --> 00:08:14,605 self-centered, cheating... asshole. 237 00:08:14,672 --> 00:08:16,607 Who overuses the word "authentic." 238 00:08:16,674 --> 00:08:18,843 Also, he used all my Moroccan oil shampoo 239 00:08:18,910 --> 00:08:20,679 on his goddamn man bun. 240 00:08:20,746 --> 00:08:21,913 You can't live like this, P. 241 00:08:21,979 --> 00:08:23,630 I have my own process, okay? 242 00:08:23,655 --> 00:08:25,105 I have been doing vision boards. 243 00:08:25,130 --> 00:08:26,684 I have my positive affirmations. 244 00:08:26,751 --> 00:08:28,420 I am doing Tracy Anderson, it's not... 245 00:08:28,487 --> 00:08:29,917 No, no, no, no. 246 00:08:29,942 --> 00:08:31,855 You need to (bleep) him out of your system. 247 00:08:31,923 --> 00:08:33,658 Random sex doesn't cure anything. 248 00:08:33,724 --> 00:08:35,292 Random sex cures everything. 249 00:08:35,317 --> 00:08:37,425 Headaches, uh, period cramps, 250 00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,196 Lyme disease, boredom. 251 00:08:39,262 --> 00:08:42,128 Also, it is scientifically proven to be the best 252 00:08:42,153 --> 00:08:43,834 and only way to get over a breakup. 253 00:08:43,901 --> 00:08:44,968 You realize that Lyme disease 254 00:08:45,035 --> 00:08:46,203 is a real thing, right? 255 00:08:46,271 --> 00:08:47,871 Is it? 256 00:08:47,939 --> 00:08:50,175 Oh my God, look, someone lost a monkey. 257 00:08:50,200 --> 00:08:51,636 - I would kill for a monkey. - _ 258 00:08:51,661 --> 00:08:53,812 I would not give him a dipshit name like Tumbles, though. 259 00:08:53,877 --> 00:08:55,345 Jordan, we cannot get a monkey. 260 00:08:55,413 --> 00:08:57,849 We would never get our security deposit back. 261 00:08:57,915 --> 00:08:59,950 And plus, Daniel Day-Lewis would freak out. 262 00:09:00,017 --> 00:09:01,819 It's not his fault, he's a jealous breed. 263 00:09:03,846 --> 00:09:05,504 _ 264 00:09:05,528 --> 00:09:07,323 _ 265 00:09:10,328 --> 00:09:12,597 - Whoa... - Whoa... 266 00:09:12,663 --> 00:09:14,232 It's so fancy. 267 00:09:14,299 --> 00:09:15,566 Who the hell lives here? 268 00:09:15,632 --> 00:09:17,668 And how do we get them to be regular clients? 269 00:09:17,736 --> 00:09:19,433 Without having sex with them. 270 00:09:23,006 --> 00:09:24,375 Good afternoon. 271 00:09:24,442 --> 00:09:25,477 Cool place. 272 00:09:25,544 --> 00:09:26,678 We have your weed. 273 00:09:26,743 --> 00:09:28,049 What? They called us. 274 00:09:28,074 --> 00:09:29,313 They know we're drug dealers. 275 00:09:29,381 --> 00:09:32,150 Uh, mostly legal prescription delivery service. 276 00:09:32,217 --> 00:09:33,818 Follow me, won't you? 277 00:09:37,288 --> 00:09:38,423 Please, wait here. 278 00:09:42,017 --> 00:09:43,666 Will you look at this place? 279 00:09:43,691 --> 00:09:45,463 No one comes by this kind of money legally. 280 00:09:45,530 --> 00:09:47,031 I mean, that's what I'm hoping. 281 00:09:47,098 --> 00:09:49,734 God, you could throw such great parties here. 282 00:09:51,336 --> 00:09:53,299 I always used to dream that Softs3rve and I would 283 00:09:53,324 --> 00:09:54,738 throw really good parties. 284 00:09:54,805 --> 00:09:56,807 And we'd invite people from his gallery. 285 00:09:56,873 --> 00:09:58,075 And normal people too. 286 00:09:58,142 --> 00:09:59,910 Maybe Cara Delevingne would show up. 287 00:10:00,199 --> 00:10:02,814 Our house would be big but not this big. 288 00:10:02,881 --> 00:10:03,847 You know, it would be cozy. 289 00:10:03,914 --> 00:10:05,316 - Mm-hmm. - Tasteful. 290 00:10:05,382 --> 00:10:08,819 My dream is to live inside a 747 that circles the globe, 291 00:10:08,886 --> 00:10:10,447 and we'd only land when I need to 292 00:10:10,472 --> 00:10:12,756 slap you in the face for talking about Softs3rve. 293 00:10:12,823 --> 00:10:14,525 Hey, Jordan, look. 294 00:10:14,592 --> 00:10:15,894 Look, look, look, look! 295 00:10:15,959 --> 00:10:16,994 Oh, come on, you can get these 296 00:10:17,062 --> 00:10:18,162 in any souvenir shop in Hollywood. 297 00:10:18,228 --> 00:10:19,395 No, no, no, these are real. 298 00:10:19,463 --> 00:10:21,533 - Wait! Don't touch that. - Why? 299 00:10:21,558 --> 00:10:23,072 Because if you touch it you're never gonna 300 00:10:23,097 --> 00:10:24,712 win one in real life. 301 00:10:25,170 --> 00:10:26,339 Don't. 302 00:10:27,332 --> 00:10:29,407 Best Supporting Actress 19... 303 00:10:32,742 --> 00:10:34,278 That's who lives here. 304 00:10:34,346 --> 00:10:35,549 Oh my God. 305 00:10:35,574 --> 00:10:36,697 I think they're like the biggest 306 00:10:36,722 --> 00:10:37,915 movie stars on the planet. 307 00:10:37,982 --> 00:10:39,877 They're like the sexiest movie stars on the planet. 308 00:10:39,902 --> 00:10:41,580 I don't even know which one of them I'd do it with. 309 00:10:41,605 --> 00:10:42,705 And they're such good people. 310 00:10:42,730 --> 00:10:45,143 He basically rebuilt Haiti with his bare hands. 311 00:10:45,168 --> 00:10:46,721 And I think she won a Nobel Prize. 312 00:10:46,746 --> 00:10:48,247 I mean, I guess I could do it with both of them. 313 00:10:48,315 --> 00:10:49,751 No, no, you are not going to have 314 00:10:49,817 --> 00:10:50,850 a three-way with them. 315 00:10:50,918 --> 00:10:51,985 What? No! 316 00:10:52,052 --> 00:10:53,386 I mean, yeah, but no. 317 00:10:53,453 --> 00:10:54,955 I'm gonna get a picture with them. 318 00:10:55,023 --> 00:10:56,090 "F" Seth Rogen! 319 00:10:56,157 --> 00:10:57,958 This is our ticket to the Green 15. 320 00:10:58,024 --> 00:10:58,958 If they ever show up. 321 00:11:00,027 --> 00:11:01,041 Sir? 322 00:11:01,428 --> 00:11:03,873 - Did you see this? It has boobs in it. - What? 323 00:11:13,937 --> 00:11:15,873 Dammit, Robbie's at 13. 324 00:11:15,938 --> 00:11:17,841 That asshat's actually climbing. 325 00:11:18,134 --> 00:11:19,669 We gotta get on this list, Paige. 326 00:11:20,405 --> 00:11:21,538 What are you doing? 327 00:11:22,145 --> 00:11:24,247 Oh, I might go home for Thanksgiving 328 00:11:24,314 --> 00:11:26,817 and when my friends brag to me about their engagements, 329 00:11:26,884 --> 00:11:29,419 I can tell them I deliver weed to movie stars. 330 00:11:29,486 --> 00:11:30,855 Oh, I'm not gonna say that. 331 00:11:30,922 --> 00:11:32,459 No, I meant why are you using my camera 332 00:11:32,484 --> 00:11:33,770 on the back to take a selfie? 333 00:11:33,795 --> 00:11:35,372 Because the camera on the front isn't as sharp. 334 00:11:35,397 --> 00:11:37,093 Yeah, but that's what the camera is for, look... 335 00:11:37,160 --> 00:11:39,996 - No, Jordan, I'm fine, I know how to do it! - Yeah, this is how you take... 336 00:11:41,131 --> 00:11:42,833 - Oh! - Oh, fix it. 337 00:11:42,899 --> 00:11:44,634 Dude, you fix it, I don't know how to fix it. 338 00:11:44,702 --> 00:11:46,505 You're crafty, don't you have glue in your bag? 339 00:11:46,530 --> 00:11:47,513 I have weed in my bag. 340 00:11:47,538 --> 00:11:48,616 I'm not a glue dealer! 341 00:11:48,641 --> 00:11:49,702 Hello. 342 00:11:50,673 --> 00:11:52,677 Why is that Asian man so tiny? 343 00:11:52,743 --> 00:11:54,178 It's not a man, it's a child. 344 00:11:54,244 --> 00:11:55,178 Ugh. 345 00:11:58,448 --> 00:12:00,283 Why are there so many of them? 346 00:12:00,351 --> 00:12:02,385 Have you seen Mama or Papa? 347 00:12:02,452 --> 00:12:03,798 Um... 348 00:12:04,388 --> 00:12:05,590 Are you the new nannies? 349 00:12:05,655 --> 00:12:06,690 Will you play with us? 350 00:12:06,756 --> 00:12:08,025 They're looking at you. 351 00:12:08,091 --> 00:12:09,393 No, they're not, they're looking at you. 352 00:12:09,460 --> 00:12:10,860 I don't know how to play with kids. 353 00:12:10,928 --> 00:12:13,697 You have a dog, that's basically the same thing. 354 00:12:13,764 --> 00:12:15,399 Can we watch a show? 355 00:12:15,466 --> 00:12:16,866 - Yeah, sure. - Oh yeah. 356 00:12:16,933 --> 00:12:18,568 Oh yeah, there's so much I wanna catch up on. 357 00:12:18,634 --> 00:12:19,636 Where's the remote? 358 00:12:19,703 --> 00:12:20,771 In the theater. 359 00:12:20,837 --> 00:12:22,072 Home theater, sweet. 360 00:12:23,774 --> 00:12:25,243 Oh, it's another delivery. 361 00:12:25,308 --> 00:12:26,743 What are we gonna do? 362 00:12:26,809 --> 00:12:29,379 I am not leaving without this picture. 363 00:12:29,447 --> 00:12:31,716 You go, take the car, I'll Lyft it home. 364 00:12:31,783 --> 00:12:34,585 Kids, Auntie Jordan's coming to watch TV with you! 365 00:12:38,721 --> 00:12:40,890 I am happy being single. 366 00:12:40,957 --> 00:12:43,459 I can have a lot of fun being single. 367 00:12:43,780 --> 00:12:45,153 I'm happy being single. 368 00:12:45,178 --> 00:12:46,996 I can have a lot of fun being single. 369 00:12:47,235 --> 00:12:49,838 I find romance everywhere I go. 370 00:12:53,537 --> 00:12:55,038 I never know what amazing, 371 00:12:55,105 --> 00:12:58,008 incredible person I might meet next. 372 00:13:00,510 --> 00:13:03,879 Tumbles! 373 00:13:03,947 --> 00:13:05,215 Tumbles. 374 00:13:05,282 --> 00:13:08,553 There is joy and happiness all around me. 375 00:13:10,754 --> 00:13:12,897 Okay, what are we watching, "SpongeBob"? 376 00:13:12,922 --> 00:13:14,124 "Phineas and Ferb"? 377 00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:17,029 We're not allowed to watch television or movies. 378 00:13:17,260 --> 00:13:18,186 What? 379 00:13:18,211 --> 00:13:20,245 I thought you said we were watching a show. 380 00:13:23,933 --> 00:13:26,169 Good evening, we are Live Wire. 381 00:13:26,236 --> 00:13:29,240 We're gonna do some long-form improvisational comedy for you. 382 00:13:29,307 --> 00:13:30,740 Now, can I get a suggestion 383 00:13:30,807 --> 00:13:32,110 from the audience for a topic? 384 00:13:32,176 --> 00:13:34,610 Anything... a book title, current events. 385 00:13:34,678 --> 00:13:36,679 Poop! 386 00:13:36,746 --> 00:13:40,583 Okay, we're going to do poop... again. 387 00:13:42,419 --> 00:13:43,920 What year is it? 388 00:13:43,987 --> 00:13:45,821 How long have you been here? 389 00:13:45,889 --> 00:13:46,923 Shh. 390 00:13:46,990 --> 00:13:48,692 Can you give this letter to my parents? 391 00:13:48,759 --> 00:13:50,394 Are you kidding? 392 00:13:50,460 --> 00:13:51,894 Of course she's kidding. 393 00:13:51,961 --> 00:13:52,697 It's comedy. 394 00:13:56,701 --> 00:13:58,235 G'day, mate. 395 00:13:58,302 --> 00:14:01,605 I think I might've had too much Mexican food last night. 396 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,643 Help me. 397 00:14:05,710 --> 00:14:07,845 Excuse me, they're ready to see you now. 398 00:14:19,523 --> 00:14:20,825 - Hi. - Hello. 399 00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:23,193 I have your... delivery. 400 00:14:23,260 --> 00:14:24,727 Cool, I'm Chris. 401 00:14:25,006 --> 00:14:27,030 Um... how does this work? 402 00:14:27,096 --> 00:14:30,033 Do I just give you the cash first or... 403 00:14:32,735 --> 00:14:35,059 - Um, we could do cash later. - Oh, God. 404 00:14:35,084 --> 00:14:36,467 I'm sorry, I don't know what's happening. 405 00:14:36,492 --> 00:14:38,442 - Are you okay, are you having a seizure? - I'm sorry. 406 00:14:49,398 --> 00:14:51,200 You know, he was working at a Chipotle 407 00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:52,333 when I first met him, 408 00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,035 and he was like totally broke and... 409 00:14:54,101 --> 00:14:57,304 every night I had to buy all of his spray paints for him. 410 00:14:57,372 --> 00:14:58,672 I used to drive him around at night 411 00:14:58,739 --> 00:15:00,609 so he could tag things and not get caught. 412 00:15:02,643 --> 00:15:04,879 But then (bleep) Taylor Swift Insta'd 413 00:15:04,945 --> 00:15:06,047 one of his ice cream cones 414 00:15:06,114 --> 00:15:07,415 and suddenly he's all like, 415 00:15:07,481 --> 00:15:08,681 "Oh, babe, sorry, 416 00:15:08,749 --> 00:15:11,185 "I just got invited to this event in Malibu 417 00:15:11,252 --> 00:15:12,954 and I can't bring a plus-one." 418 00:15:13,019 --> 00:15:15,356 And he's not coming home at night anymore and... 419 00:15:16,691 --> 00:15:18,960 He doesn't even need me to buy him his spray paints. 420 00:15:26,588 --> 00:15:27,521 Thanks. 421 00:15:28,768 --> 00:15:30,641 My best friend, Jordan... 422 00:15:31,239 --> 00:15:32,572 she just keeps on telling me 423 00:15:32,639 --> 00:15:34,508 that the only way I'm ever gonna get over him 424 00:15:34,575 --> 00:15:37,479 is if I have rebound sex with someone else. 425 00:15:37,546 --> 00:15:39,393 And that it doesn't even really matter who. 426 00:15:39,418 --> 00:15:42,308 I just have to have sex with someone and... 427 00:15:47,522 --> 00:15:48,757 I mean, that's... 428 00:15:51,859 --> 00:15:53,628 That's like crazy, right? 429 00:15:55,729 --> 00:15:56,665 Mmm. 430 00:16:14,863 --> 00:16:17,052 Come on in. 431 00:16:17,118 --> 00:16:19,119 - Right there, right there! - Okay, okay. 432 00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:20,654 That's nice. 433 00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,457 - Oh, it's so... - Oh my God. 434 00:16:23,524 --> 00:16:25,292 Oh... 435 00:16:25,359 --> 00:16:27,028 I'm getting close. 436 00:16:27,095 --> 00:16:28,495 Oh! 437 00:16:28,562 --> 00:16:29,697 Tumbles? 438 00:16:31,166 --> 00:16:32,700 You're ruining it! 439 00:16:32,767 --> 00:16:34,502 Yeah, yeah, I'm ruining it. 440 00:16:34,569 --> 00:16:35,503 I'm wrecking it. 441 00:16:35,569 --> 00:16:37,372 I'm a wrecking ball! 442 00:16:37,437 --> 00:16:38,638 Oh, yeah. 443 00:16:38,705 --> 00:16:40,041 Oh, God, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 444 00:16:43,811 --> 00:16:45,613 Whoa! 445 00:16:45,680 --> 00:16:46,881 Sorry to have kept you waiting. 446 00:16:46,947 --> 00:16:51,452 You guys look so different in person. 447 00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,856 Well, without all the makeup and costumes, 448 00:16:54,922 --> 00:16:57,066 we're really just normal people. 449 00:16:59,360 --> 00:17:01,511 What the (bleep) did I just smoke? 450 00:17:02,797 --> 00:17:06,066 Um, I have your... stuff. 451 00:17:06,133 --> 00:17:08,201 Oh, great, just leave it on the dresser. 452 00:17:08,268 --> 00:17:10,069 The money should be there for you. 453 00:17:10,136 --> 00:17:11,071 Oh. 454 00:17:12,395 --> 00:17:13,663 Thanks. 455 00:17:13,941 --> 00:17:15,375 You know, we love supporting women 456 00:17:15,442 --> 00:17:17,478 in business for themselves. 457 00:17:17,545 --> 00:17:19,748 Hey, would it be like totally crazy 458 00:17:19,814 --> 00:17:22,238 if I asked to take a photo with you guys? 459 00:17:23,316 --> 00:17:24,951 Oh, not at all. 460 00:17:25,018 --> 00:17:25,920 No problemo. 461 00:17:25,987 --> 00:17:27,287 That's so cool, thank you. 462 00:17:27,354 --> 00:17:28,523 God, move over. 463 00:17:28,589 --> 00:17:29,890 Ah, thanks, guys. 464 00:17:33,460 --> 00:17:35,705 You know, you should really use the camera on the back. 465 00:17:35,730 --> 00:17:36,830 Wait, really? 466 00:17:36,896 --> 00:17:39,432 Trust me, I'm an award-winning director. 467 00:17:39,499 --> 00:17:41,603 Just do it, she's right about everything. 468 00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:42,871 All right. 469 00:17:46,006 --> 00:17:47,141 You were great. 470 00:17:47,208 --> 00:17:48,275 Thanks. 471 00:17:48,342 --> 00:17:49,277 You too. 472 00:17:49,344 --> 00:17:50,577 Thanks. 473 00:17:52,144 --> 00:17:55,149 Hey, um, you got Square, right? 474 00:17:55,216 --> 00:17:56,651 So I can use my card? 475 00:17:56,718 --> 00:17:58,920 Oh, yeah, yeah. 476 00:17:58,987 --> 00:18:00,454 Sorry, it's kind of stupid... 477 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:03,504 For charges under $50 we kind of prefer cash. 478 00:18:04,858 --> 00:18:06,168 Wasn't the Kush 45? 479 00:18:06,193 --> 00:18:07,394 Yeah. 480 00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:08,756 What about the sex? 481 00:18:10,006 --> 00:18:11,408 What? 482 00:18:11,731 --> 00:18:14,835 How much for the sex that we did? 483 00:18:14,902 --> 00:18:16,237 Why would I charge you for sex? 484 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,239 I'm... I'm not a hooker. 485 00:18:18,306 --> 00:18:19,239 Okay, very funny. 486 00:18:20,408 --> 00:18:21,776 Well, how would you get that idea? 487 00:18:21,843 --> 00:18:23,611 'Cause the "Weeder LA" review said you guys 488 00:18:23,676 --> 00:18:24,677 "go the extra mile." 489 00:18:24,745 --> 00:18:26,414 Like what else would that mean? 490 00:18:26,691 --> 00:18:27,859 Dammit, Jordan. 491 00:18:29,049 --> 00:18:31,719 Wait, you had sex with me 'cause you wanted to? 492 00:18:31,785 --> 00:18:32,824 That's awesome! 493 00:18:32,849 --> 00:18:34,152 Goddamnit, Jordan! 494 00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:41,336 Why the hell do we have to bring our own plates? 495 00:18:41,396 --> 00:18:43,034 - It's a green experience. - What? 496 00:18:43,059 --> 00:18:45,088 No, they're really concerned about the water shortage. 497 00:18:45,113 --> 00:18:46,151 Yeah, but it doesn't matter. 498 00:18:46,176 --> 00:18:47,035 When I go home and wash the plate, 499 00:18:47,102 --> 00:18:48,202 I'm still gonna use water. 500 00:18:48,270 --> 00:18:49,672 So this is not a green experience. 501 00:18:49,739 --> 00:18:51,040 - This is not a green experience! - Shh! 502 00:18:51,107 --> 00:18:52,774 - You're gonna get us kicked out of line. - So? 503 00:18:52,841 --> 00:18:54,909 But Jenée said this place is the tits. 504 00:18:54,976 --> 00:18:56,278 You are the only person I would do this for. 505 00:18:56,346 --> 00:18:57,512 Aw... 506 00:18:57,579 --> 00:18:58,747 Oh, and great advice, by the way, 507 00:18:58,815 --> 00:19:00,349 on using the camera on the back. 508 00:19:00,415 --> 00:19:01,583 Look at this. 509 00:19:01,650 --> 00:19:03,118 - That photo's worthless. - Mmm... 510 00:19:03,185 --> 00:19:05,521 But the good news is we got a lot of referrals. 511 00:19:05,588 --> 00:19:07,088 We're gonna be fine. 512 00:19:07,156 --> 00:19:09,259 Oh, and Robbie got a cease and desist from Seth Rogen. 513 00:19:09,325 --> 00:19:10,371 - What? - Yeah. 514 00:19:10,396 --> 00:19:11,869 He made him take the picture down. 515 00:19:11,894 --> 00:19:14,430 He fell off the Green 15 completely. 516 00:19:14,496 --> 00:19:16,231 Clearing the way for us, baby boo. 517 00:19:16,299 --> 00:19:17,465 - Boom! - Boom! 518 00:19:17,532 --> 00:19:18,800 Oh. 519 00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:20,762 - Who's that? - I don't know. 520 00:19:20,787 --> 00:19:22,136 Who's Chris? 521 00:19:22,804 --> 00:19:24,305 It's that guy from last night. 522 00:19:24,373 --> 00:19:26,008 "Can I take you out sometime? 523 00:19:26,075 --> 00:19:27,477 I'll bring the weed." 524 00:19:27,543 --> 00:19:28,944 Nice, okay. 525 00:19:29,011 --> 00:19:30,613 Are we gonna text him back? 526 00:19:30,679 --> 00:19:32,647 - I don't know, it's... - This is great. 527 00:19:32,714 --> 00:19:34,515 This is the power of rebound sex. 528 00:19:34,582 --> 00:19:35,817 You are already moving on. 529 00:19:35,885 --> 00:19:37,619 I love it, this could be something. 530 00:19:37,685 --> 00:19:39,021 Yeah, being mistaken for a prostitute 531 00:19:39,088 --> 00:19:41,523 is exactly how I thought I'd meet my soul mate. 532 00:19:41,590 --> 00:19:43,559 _ 533 00:19:45,127 --> 00:19:48,113 See, homegirl, he's texting you twice in one day. 534 00:19:48,138 --> 00:19:49,699 - You got skills. - _ 535 00:19:51,254 --> 00:19:53,002 So, what are you gonna tell him? 536 00:19:54,481 --> 00:19:55,771 Good move, man. 537 00:19:55,838 --> 00:19:57,205 Don't wanna seem desperate. 538 00:19:57,272 --> 00:19:58,506 I get that. 539 00:19:58,573 --> 00:19:59,842 Oh... 540 00:20:01,377 --> 00:20:03,046 "Fillabow," that's a delivery. 541 00:20:03,111 --> 00:20:04,246 Can't wait in this line anymore 542 00:20:04,313 --> 00:20:05,547 Gotta go! 543 00:20:05,615 --> 00:20:07,983 Uh... (bleep) this green experience! 544 00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:11,921 We bring you the real green experience. 545 00:20:15,224 --> 00:20:17,425 'Cause we're mother(bleep) drug dealers, yo! 546 00:20:17,492 --> 00:20:18,727 Okay, okay, it's a mostly legal 547 00:20:18,793 --> 00:20:20,496 prescription delivery service. 548 00:20:20,562 --> 00:20:22,831 Okay, Mary + Jane, look us up, thank you. 549 00:20:25,033 --> 00:20:27,168 You know what, that's a really good slogan. 550 00:20:27,235 --> 00:20:29,787 Mary + Jane bring you the green experience. 551 00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:32,663 Yes, put it on some panties so your customers can see it. 552 00:20:42,810 --> 00:20:44,034 Synced and corrected by Chitorafa www.addic7ed.com