1
00:00:00,880 --> 00:00:04,080
The five most truly free
moments of a human's life
2
00:00:04,147 --> 00:00:07,245
in ascending order...
leaving his parents' home,
3
00:00:07,311 --> 00:00:09,371
dumping a girl hard,
4
00:00:09,422 --> 00:00:11,305
deciding to eat a whole pizza,
5
00:00:11,377 --> 00:00:13,065
hammocks...
6
00:00:13,127 --> 00:00:15,231
and finishing a writing project.
7
00:00:15,265 --> 00:00:17,372
Jimmy, did you finish
8
00:00:17,407 --> 00:00:20,030
your book proposal?
9
00:00:20,065 --> 00:00:21,073
Your sarcasm
10
00:00:21,108 --> 00:00:23,492
is but an impotent fusillade of arrows
11
00:00:23,534 --> 00:00:26,489
plinking off the Sherman
tank that is my relief.
12
00:00:26,524 --> 00:00:27,474
Nay, it is
13
00:00:27,509 --> 00:00:30,932
a Verdi aria to my
brand-new cochlear implants,
14
00:00:30,967 --> 00:00:33,905
for it means 'tis true I indeed
15
00:00:33,940 --> 00:00:36,110
finished my book proposal.
16
00:00:36,145 --> 00:00:38,180
Also I am exceedingly
drunk and cannot trust
17
00:00:38,215 --> 00:00:40,276
my grip on the truth.
18
00:00:40,311 --> 00:00:41,953
"Grip." (chuckles)
19
00:00:41,995 --> 00:00:43,740
Oh...
20
00:00:45,834 --> 00:00:47,097
Um...
21
00:00:47,207 --> 00:00:49,933
Uh, sorry. I just need to grab my, um...
22
00:00:52,854 --> 00:00:55,131
- (alarm beeping)
- (groans)
23
00:00:58,227 --> 00:00:59,269
Oh, what are those? Gimme.
24
00:00:59,304 --> 00:01:00,289
Uh, they're boring.
25
00:01:00,351 --> 00:01:03,107
I finally saw that
psychiatrist. He put me on these.
26
00:01:03,142 --> 00:01:07,219
He's making me see this stupid
therapist for the talky-talky.
27
00:01:07,293 --> 00:01:09,040
I always wondered, what
exactly is the difference
28
00:01:09,105 --> 00:01:11,760
between a psychiatrist and a therapist?
29
00:01:11,795 --> 00:01:13,725
A psychiatrist is like,
30
00:01:13,814 --> 00:01:15,508
"Here, take this pills, ho."
31
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,990
A therapist is all, "Oh, tell me your shit.
32
00:01:18,047 --> 00:01:19,612
I couldn't make it as an actor."
33
00:01:19,647 --> 00:01:20,806
I'm bored.
34
00:01:20,841 --> 00:01:22,297
- Let's go to the bar.
- Ugh.
35
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:24,772
I have to go to that stupid therapist.
36
00:01:24,807 --> 00:01:25,866
Don't worry, it won't take long.
37
00:01:25,932 --> 00:01:28,312
I'll go in there, she'll
wave her magic wand,
38
00:01:28,347 --> 00:01:30,383
and boom, Gretchen's 100.
39
00:01:30,418 --> 00:01:32,079
(gasps) Oh, you're moving out.
40
00:01:32,137 --> 00:01:33,772
Thank God. Make sure
you leave your mattress
41
00:01:33,822 --> 00:01:35,477
on the curb before you go.
42
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:37,647
And spray paint "unclean" on it,
43
00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:38,584
in Spanish.
44
00:01:38,619 --> 00:01:41,622
No, Dorothy found a place.
45
00:01:42,094 --> 00:01:43,653
Thanks for letting me crash.
46
00:01:43,718 --> 00:01:45,939
I will leave a check for
all the stuff I broke.
47
00:01:45,974 --> 00:01:48,458
- Kidding.
- (Jimmy sighs)
48
00:01:52,229 --> 00:01:55,143
Edgar, why in God's name haven't
you been opening the mail?
49
00:01:55,178 --> 00:01:58,497
You made mail Gretchen's, as
you said, "one little chore."
50
00:01:58,563 --> 00:02:00,523
Well, I already have one little chore.
51
00:02:00,558 --> 00:02:02,317
Aw, Jimmy's dick... ya burnt.
52
00:02:02,352 --> 00:02:03,598
No, he's right.
53
00:02:03,633 --> 00:02:05,885
"Gretchen opens the mail"
is on the chore list.
54
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:08,220
Right under "Jimmy takes out trash,
55
00:02:08,263 --> 00:02:10,365
i.e.: his own butt."
56
00:02:10,400 --> 00:02:12,673
Fine. I'll get to it.
57
00:02:13,587 --> 00:02:14,691
Never.
58
00:02:14,726 --> 00:02:16,421
Damn. Big day for burns.
59
00:02:16,472 --> 00:02:17,274
Ooh.
60
00:02:17,337 --> 00:02:19,741
- Ugh.
- Hey, um,
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00:02:19,809 --> 00:02:20,777
I just wanted to say thank you
62
00:02:20,852 --> 00:02:22,554
- for valuing my opinion.
- I don't.
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00:02:22,589 --> 00:02:23,344
Never have.
64
00:02:23,379 --> 00:02:25,285
Worse than a dog's opinion.
65
00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:27,293
- What are you talking about?
- Your book proposal.
66
00:02:27,350 --> 00:02:28,748
First of all,
67
00:02:28,838 --> 00:02:30,309
it's a really great start.
68
00:02:30,344 --> 00:02:32,439
I love the world.
69
00:02:32,506 --> 00:02:35,509
But I thought I'd do the
10,000-feet notes first,
70
00:02:35,567 --> 00:02:36,778
and then we'd go page by page, hmm?
71
00:02:36,844 --> 00:02:41,232
Hmm. How about you literally
throw them in the trash?
72
00:02:41,267 --> 00:02:42,540
The proposal went out already.
73
00:02:42,575 --> 00:02:44,028
Well, then, why did you have me read it?
74
00:02:44,063 --> 00:02:45,166
Because I wanted you to go,
75
00:02:45,218 --> 00:02:47,292
"Wow, you're so smart, Jimmy.
76
00:02:47,327 --> 00:02:49,828
I could never do that; I'm a stupid baby."
77
00:02:49,862 --> 00:02:51,231
(paper rustling)
78
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:05,191
♪ I'm gonna leave you anyway ♪
79
00:03:05,305 --> 00:03:07,712
♪ I'm gonna leave you anyway ♪
80
00:03:07,815 --> 00:03:10,047
♪ Gonna leave you anyway. ♪
81
00:03:10,082 --> 00:03:14,874
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
82
00:03:14,931 --> 00:03:16,271
I understand your frustrations,
83
00:03:16,306 --> 00:03:18,584
but sometimes hearing others' opinions can,
84
00:03:18,619 --> 00:03:21,460
at worst, make us feel more
confident in our decisions.
85
00:03:21,819 --> 00:03:22,744
Wow.
86
00:03:22,779 --> 00:03:26,250
For a therapist, you
are a wretched listener.
87
00:03:26,285 --> 00:03:27,563
I didn't ask him for notes,
88
00:03:27,604 --> 00:03:30,329
because one, my proposal went out already,
89
00:03:30,364 --> 00:03:33,031
though I've heard nothing,
which is potentially worrisome.
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00:03:33,066 --> 00:03:36,346
And two, I don't even know
for sure that he can read,
91
00:03:36,381 --> 00:03:38,956
let alone comprehend the sui generis,
92
00:03:38,991 --> 00:03:41,684
unabashedly erotic, multigenerational,
93
00:03:41,719 --> 00:03:43,904
literary family epic.
94
00:03:43,939 --> 00:03:45,688
Gretchen, you said you wanted Jimmy here
95
00:03:45,762 --> 00:03:48,441
because he can help tell
the story of your depression.
96
00:03:49,167 --> 00:03:49,918
Sorry, what?
97
00:03:49,953 --> 00:03:51,388
Can you tell me why you're here?
98
00:03:52,327 --> 00:03:53,939
No. Can you?
99
00:03:53,974 --> 00:03:55,548
I thought the happy pills
were supposed to fix me.
100
00:03:55,606 --> 00:03:56,769
He had notes.
101
00:03:56,828 --> 00:03:57,864
What notes?
102
00:03:57,899 --> 00:03:59,852
The proposal is perfect.
103
00:03:59,923 --> 00:04:02,256
Talk therapy along with medication
104
00:04:02,291 --> 00:04:05,123
is the most effective long-term
approach to managing depression.
105
00:04:05,182 --> 00:04:06,527
You mean, beating depression.
106
00:04:06,566 --> 00:04:07,845
- Winning depression.
- Oh, I like that.
107
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:09,944
- That's not a thing.
- Winning it.
108
00:04:10,010 --> 00:04:11,509
Let's start here.
109
00:04:11,542 --> 00:04:14,981
Name one small thing you've been avoiding.
110
00:04:15,044 --> 00:04:17,195
I already did one small thing this morning.
111
00:04:17,230 --> 00:04:20,047
Aw, rough day for Jimmy's dick.
112
00:04:20,899 --> 00:04:21,653
So, we done?
113
00:04:21,688 --> 00:04:22,588
THERAPIST: We can be done,
114
00:04:22,621 --> 00:04:24,778
or you can do the next thing.
115
00:04:24,813 --> 00:04:26,870
Self-improvement is a lifelong process.
116
00:04:26,905 --> 00:04:29,028
How is this a real profession?
117
00:04:29,061 --> 00:04:31,328
- This feels like a scam.
- It's not a scam.
118
00:04:31,363 --> 00:04:32,574
I calls 'em like I sees 'em.
119
00:04:32,624 --> 00:04:35,564
JIMMY: I still don't understand
why my issues are unimportant
120
00:04:35,626 --> 00:04:36,536
to you people.
121
00:04:36,571 --> 00:04:38,257
I want you to make a to-do list,
122
00:04:38,327 --> 00:04:40,417
but with just one thing on it at a time.
123
00:04:40,452 --> 00:04:42,338
I don't have anything I need to do.
124
00:04:45,428 --> 00:04:47,178
You want to fight?
125
00:04:47,213 --> 00:04:49,755
Oh, are you trying to fight me?
126
00:04:49,986 --> 00:04:51,544
'Cause we can go.
127
00:04:55,938 --> 00:04:57,388
Can't you just assign me the one thing?
128
00:04:57,423 --> 00:04:58,332
Oh, I will.
129
00:04:58,367 --> 00:04:59,786
Launder your clothes.
130
00:04:59,862 --> 00:05:01,182
Don't wear your shoes to bed.
131
00:05:01,217 --> 00:05:03,073
Stop giving Killian food.
132
00:05:03,155 --> 00:05:05,464
Titty massages for Jimmy.
133
00:05:05,499 --> 00:05:08,566
That's when the girl runs her
dangling titties up and down your body.
134
00:05:08,769 --> 00:05:09,852
It's quite nice.
135
00:05:09,898 --> 00:05:10,992
Wash your legs.
136
00:05:11,033 --> 00:05:12,857
- What?
- I don't wash my legs.
137
00:05:13,263 --> 00:05:14,810
Okay. Fine.
138
00:05:14,907 --> 00:05:15,726
Mail.
139
00:05:15,784 --> 00:05:18,702
There is a stack of mail
that I have been avoiding.
140
00:05:18,747 --> 00:05:20,063
- Why?
- They always want money,
141
00:05:20,098 --> 00:05:21,526
or you have jury duty,
142
00:05:21,561 --> 00:05:23,665
or your grandma sent you
a check for your birthday,
143
00:05:23,731 --> 00:05:25,486
and then you feel guilty
that you never call her,
144
00:05:25,521 --> 00:05:27,745
and then you can't get
out of bed for a month.
145
00:05:30,845 --> 00:05:33,036
Anyway... mail.
146
00:05:33,071 --> 00:05:34,951
Does that count for your stupid-ass...?
147
00:05:35,037 --> 00:05:36,131
Ugh, sorry.
148
00:05:36,172 --> 00:05:37,898
It's all right, I'm a professional.
149
00:05:37,956 --> 00:05:39,497
You can say anything you want in here.
150
00:05:39,532 --> 00:05:41,258
Hmm.
151
00:05:43,070 --> 00:05:44,570
Anything?
152
00:05:44,750 --> 00:05:46,119
Really?
153
00:05:46,180 --> 00:05:49,311
Does opening the mail count for
your one little asshole thing,
154
00:05:49,346 --> 00:05:50,666
you goddamn cock?
155
00:05:50,747 --> 00:05:53,155
You suck-balls dumb dick?
156
00:05:53,190 --> 00:05:54,356
- Sure.
- Fine,
157
00:05:54,391 --> 00:05:56,054
jizz-magnet.
158
00:05:56,115 --> 00:05:58,050
I will open one piece of mail.
159
00:05:58,569 --> 00:05:59,397
Say "whore."
160
00:05:59,432 --> 00:06:00,130
- Whore.
- Whore.
161
00:06:00,176 --> 00:06:02,752
I'm regretting giving you
license to say anything.
162
00:06:02,835 --> 00:06:03,638
Plus I do kind of want
163
00:06:03,673 --> 00:06:05,023
- to fight you right now.
- Too late.
164
00:06:05,058 --> 00:06:06,392
No take-backsies.
165
00:06:08,876 --> 00:06:10,712
Titty-sucking bitch.
166
00:06:11,562 --> 00:06:13,359
PAUL (whining): Ow.
167
00:06:13,394 --> 00:06:15,091
Lindsay, it hurts.
168
00:06:15,126 --> 00:06:16,515
I know.
169
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,378
It'll be over soon.
170
00:06:18,413 --> 00:06:20,202
- (groans)
- Well,
171
00:06:20,237 --> 00:06:22,498
it's not often I get
to fill your holes, huh?
172
00:06:22,552 --> 00:06:24,387
- (chuckles)
- (grunts)
173
00:06:24,481 --> 00:06:28,210
Oh, I'm falling so far
behind on my big year.
174
00:06:28,299 --> 00:06:31,806
Rhett Gherkins has spotted a
paint-billed crake, Lindsay.
175
00:06:31,841 --> 00:06:33,832
- A paint-billed crake!
- I know,
176
00:06:33,867 --> 00:06:36,790
but his wife has no tits and
looks like a Gila monster.
177
00:06:36,838 --> 00:06:37,929
(laughing)
178
00:06:37,964 --> 00:06:39,669
(groaning): Ow.
179
00:06:39,731 --> 00:06:41,257
No, don't make me laugh.
180
00:06:41,292 --> 00:06:42,642
Ow!
181
00:06:42,677 --> 00:06:44,469
(whimpering): I'm sorry.
182
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:45,839
I'm so annoying.
183
00:06:45,874 --> 00:06:47,152
You're fine, bear.
184
00:06:47,187 --> 00:06:48,716
I'm a terrible patient.
185
00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:52,057
When I had the mumps, Mother
threatened to send me to foster care.
186
00:06:52,109 --> 00:06:54,375
Pill time, hmm?
187
00:06:55,080 --> 00:06:57,362
And wash it down with this.
188
00:06:58,158 --> 00:06:59,206
This is so much medicine.
189
00:06:59,262 --> 00:07:01,618
Well, maybe you shouldn't
have backed into my knife.
190
00:07:01,674 --> 00:07:05,425
(gagging): It's just like
me to go backing into things.
191
00:07:05,460 --> 00:07:07,756
I crawled in reverse until I was two.
192
00:07:07,810 --> 00:07:10,323
(crying): I'm so stupid.
193
00:07:11,639 --> 00:07:14,190
I'd better go refill these again.
194
00:07:14,225 --> 00:07:15,941
Credit card, please?
195
00:07:15,976 --> 00:07:18,913
I don't remember taking all that.
196
00:07:20,391 --> 00:07:22,933
You keep taking extra
and you don't remember it.
197
00:07:22,968 --> 00:07:24,427
(sighs)
198
00:07:24,501 --> 00:07:26,357
- (crying)
- Bye, now.
199
00:07:26,414 --> 00:07:30,137
(whining): Please hurry back.
200
00:07:33,696 --> 00:07:35,572
(groans)
201
00:07:39,671 --> 00:07:41,984
- This is on Paul, right?
- Yes.
202
00:07:42,019 --> 00:07:44,710
What a poor little patient he is.
203
00:07:44,810 --> 00:07:47,046
I was so caught up
preparing the mise en place,
204
00:07:47,079 --> 00:07:50,382
I didn't see him. He
ran right into my knife.
205
00:07:50,417 --> 00:07:52,887
I didn't even push that deep.
206
00:07:54,186 --> 00:07:55,155
Lindsay.
207
00:07:55,190 --> 00:07:56,031
How are your pancakes?
208
00:07:56,066 --> 00:07:58,015
Are you saying that you, on purpose,
209
00:07:58,050 --> 00:08:00,540
- like murderer-style, stabbed Paul?
- No.
210
00:08:00,575 --> 00:08:01,945
What? No.
211
00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:02,985
I loved him.
212
00:08:03,020 --> 00:08:03,829
Love?
213
00:08:03,863 --> 00:08:04,709
Right.
214
00:08:04,744 --> 00:08:06,929
He's my current husband.
215
00:08:06,964 --> 00:08:09,148
I love him now. I do.
216
00:08:09,268 --> 00:08:11,870
Now I'm wishing I got the pancakes.
217
00:08:13,696 --> 00:08:16,675
I can't believe that
bitch gave me homework.
218
00:08:16,838 --> 00:08:19,029
No, you fix me, dummy.
219
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:19,964
You know what?
220
00:08:19,999 --> 00:08:22,618
I'm a goddamn A.F. adult.
221
00:08:22,653 --> 00:08:23,430
I quit.
222
00:08:23,477 --> 00:08:25,070
- She can suck it.
- (laughs)
223
00:08:25,114 --> 00:08:26,181
Fine. (clears throat)
224
00:08:26,216 --> 00:08:28,579
Since you won't let it go,
225
00:08:28,614 --> 00:08:30,176
tell me one of your stupid notes.
226
00:08:30,211 --> 00:08:31,450
Okay.
227
00:08:34,694 --> 00:08:36,520
Ah, macro.
228
00:08:36,553 --> 00:08:39,356
Uh, was the sex supposed
to be erotic or disturbing?
229
00:08:39,389 --> 00:08:41,039
Both. Dumb note. Next.
230
00:08:41,086 --> 00:08:43,003
Yeah, I wasn't sure the
"randy, Bohemian aunt"
231
00:08:43,050 --> 00:08:44,282
made sense as a character.
232
00:08:44,325 --> 00:08:45,865
You don't make sense as a character.
233
00:08:45,900 --> 00:08:48,155
Very one-note. Next.
234
00:08:48,190 --> 00:08:50,612
Why do Kitty and Simon
install a two-way mirror?
235
00:08:50,682 --> 00:08:52,101
Right, give me those.
236
00:08:52,239 --> 00:08:53,291
Okay.
237
00:08:53,533 --> 00:08:56,038
Actually, I have to move Dorothy
into her new apartment today
238
00:08:56,127 --> 00:08:58,497
and... I could use some help.
239
00:09:02,793 --> 00:09:04,719
- I'll come.
- Oh, thanks, Jimmy.
240
00:09:04,754 --> 00:09:07,268
I've been a little rocky lately,
and I could really use the support.
241
00:09:07,327 --> 00:09:08,329
Oh, I'm not helping.
242
00:09:08,364 --> 00:09:11,065
I'm coming so that I can
eviscerate your notes,
243
00:09:11,100 --> 00:09:14,225
one by one, to show you how dumb you are.
244
00:09:14,258 --> 00:09:15,296
Oh, and if you must know,
245
00:09:15,331 --> 00:09:17,915
they install the mirror
because they're siblings.
246
00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:20,128
So, obviously, they can't
partake in each other's
247
00:09:20,163 --> 00:09:22,732
tight, little bodies,
but this way, at least,
248
00:09:22,803 --> 00:09:26,473
they can observe each
other's erotic dalliances.
249
00:09:27,101 --> 00:09:28,604
Duh.
250
00:09:32,075 --> 00:09:34,978
I just want you to know I am
not coming back! First of all...
251
00:09:35,033 --> 00:09:36,180
I am with a patient.
252
00:09:36,212 --> 00:09:37,845
Wait, what?
253
00:09:39,278 --> 00:09:40,687
No, I'm angry!
254
00:09:40,722 --> 00:09:41,865
Get out.
255
00:09:51,614 --> 00:09:52,910
I'm so sorry.
256
00:09:56,866 --> 00:09:58,902
DOROTHY: So, last night,
257
00:09:58,936 --> 00:10:01,406
guess your body adjusted
to the new pills, after all.
258
00:10:01,438 --> 00:10:02,805
Yeah, guess so.
259
00:10:02,867 --> 00:10:06,105
Good, because that whole thing that
I said about non-penetrative sex,
260
00:10:06,151 --> 00:10:07,597
check, please.
261
00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:10,773
So, the apartment could be cute, right?
262
00:10:10,830 --> 00:10:13,372
If I pick up some extra Chore
Monkey shifts to buy a couch,
263
00:10:13,407 --> 00:10:15,216
and figure out how to
hide those weird pipes.
264
00:10:15,251 --> 00:10:17,910
The baby handprints on the
ceiling are a little disconcerting,
265
00:10:17,945 --> 00:10:20,295
but you can't see them at night.
266
00:10:21,311 --> 00:10:22,065
Edgar?
267
00:10:22,100 --> 00:10:25,195
Have you noticed how many more
tent cities there are lately?
268
00:10:25,230 --> 00:10:26,930
Do you know any of them?
269
00:10:27,041 --> 00:10:30,034
Any ex-hobo girlfriends
that I need to beat up?
270
00:10:30,729 --> 00:10:32,904
Sorry, bad time for comedy?
271
00:10:32,939 --> 00:10:34,572
No, it's-it's fine.
272
00:10:34,607 --> 00:10:36,740
No, I'm sorry.
273
00:10:36,983 --> 00:10:39,198
This is your big day.
274
00:10:39,268 --> 00:10:43,682
Yeah! I am moving into a
beautiful studio in WeHoCa.
275
00:10:43,827 --> 00:10:45,982
That's L.A.'s newest, hip neighborhood:
276
00:10:46,015 --> 00:10:47,682
West of Homeless Encampment.
277
00:10:47,725 --> 00:10:49,160
Hey.
278
00:10:49,339 --> 00:10:51,088
I think it could be so cute.
279
00:10:51,123 --> 00:10:53,021
Right? I think so.
280
00:10:53,056 --> 00:10:54,462
- Thanks.
- I mean...
281
00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:57,158
it's obviously an idiotic note,
282
00:10:57,223 --> 00:11:00,142
but, gun to my head,
I could show the origin
283
00:11:00,194 --> 00:11:02,460
of Malcolm and Sally's erotic coupling.
284
00:11:02,517 --> 00:11:03,724
Well, if I did that,
285
00:11:03,778 --> 00:11:07,802
then I'd be introducing a
soupçon of narrative Anschauung,
286
00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:10,583
which would allow me to
get inside Clementine's head
287
00:11:10,666 --> 00:11:14,943
when she allows the punk rock bassist
she's just met urinate on her britches.
288
00:11:16,089 --> 00:11:17,824
This is so stupid.
289
00:11:21,644 --> 00:11:24,013
(classical music playing)
290
00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:39,914
(classical music stops playing)
291
00:11:39,972 --> 00:11:41,332
Okay.
292
00:11:41,852 --> 00:11:43,159
How can I help you, Gretchen?
293
00:11:43,194 --> 00:11:44,967
Nice magazines.
294
00:11:45,144 --> 00:11:47,555
So boring, I almost died
rather than read them.
295
00:11:47,590 --> 00:11:50,470
You obviously want very badly
for me to understand something.
296
00:11:50,513 --> 00:11:53,030
You told me there were things
I could do, insinuating that
297
00:11:53,065 --> 00:11:55,019
I could have fixed
myself any time I wanted,
298
00:11:55,083 --> 00:11:57,238
and that is negating my story.
299
00:11:57,304 --> 00:12:01,082
It is tired. It is patriarchal,
and it is rape culture-y.
300
00:12:01,158 --> 00:12:04,203
You are basically a rape apologist.
301
00:12:04,238 --> 00:12:06,397
I don't believe you don't
believe therapy can help.
302
00:12:06,459 --> 00:12:09,632
Why don't you don't tell me
more about how I don't feel?
303
00:12:09,693 --> 00:12:11,905
- You really want to quit?
- Yes.
304
00:12:11,983 --> 00:12:13,396
Okay, then.
305
00:12:13,565 --> 00:12:15,576
It was nice to have met you.
306
00:12:15,611 --> 00:12:17,063
You are memorable.
307
00:12:17,890 --> 00:12:21,088
You know... I'm proud of you for
standing up for what you want.
308
00:12:21,159 --> 00:12:23,413
(chuckles lightly) Who are you, my mom?
309
00:12:23,467 --> 00:12:25,650
Joke's on you. My mom would never say that.
310
00:12:25,686 --> 00:12:27,288
I know you're not my mommy.
311
00:12:27,323 --> 00:12:29,795
Like, what if I started
calling you "Mommy"?
312
00:12:29,846 --> 00:12:32,062
(chuckling): How weird would that be?
313
00:12:32,649 --> 00:12:34,451
I'm gonna go in now.
314
00:12:35,194 --> 00:12:36,815
Good luck, Gretchen.
315
00:12:39,107 --> 00:12:40,220
(whispering): Bitch.
316
00:12:42,181 --> 00:12:44,490
I really like the adjustments.
317
00:12:44,564 --> 00:12:49,214
Well, your asinine notes started a
thought process of actual, usable fixes.
318
00:12:49,270 --> 00:12:51,122
I had to cut the scene in
the cockpit of the plane
319
00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:54,967
where Joachim Kirschner masturbates
during his bombing run on London,
320
00:12:55,002 --> 00:12:56,784
but the section is still highly erotic.
321
00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:59,820
Did you take out the thing
with Roger spanking his nephew?
322
00:12:59,869 --> 00:13:01,711
What, you let Dorothy read it?!
323
00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:03,770
I thought the sample chapters were great...
324
00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:04,726
Thank you.
325
00:13:04,761 --> 00:13:06,095
It's so nice to hear from fans.
326
00:13:06,130 --> 00:13:08,752
...just potentially
very alienating to women.
327
00:13:09,531 --> 00:13:11,394
This is literature, okay?
328
00:13:11,429 --> 00:13:13,391
It shall sing its own song,
329
00:13:13,426 --> 00:13:16,855
uncaring if sensibilities are too delicate.
330
00:13:16,890 --> 00:13:20,022
Anyway, it feels like we keep
forgetting the proposal's in already.
331
00:13:20,088 --> 00:13:21,101
It's done.
332
00:13:21,136 --> 00:13:22,405
Okay.
333
00:13:23,077 --> 00:13:27,004
Just so many descriptions
of semen on stockings.
334
00:13:27,039 --> 00:13:29,298
Stockings are a sign
both of the deprivation
335
00:13:29,333 --> 00:13:32,356
of the Second World War
and how much the repressed
336
00:13:32,391 --> 00:13:36,148
Kitty's slutty little
legs wanted semen on them!
337
00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,974
What is alienating about that?
338
00:13:39,009 --> 00:13:40,677
(indistinct conversations)
339
00:13:41,684 --> 00:13:42,601
EDGAR: Uh, hey.
340
00:13:42,664 --> 00:13:45,597
Uh... are people being generous today?
341
00:13:45,668 --> 00:13:47,873
Man, I ain't got jack shit yet today.
342
00:13:47,908 --> 00:13:50,012
Hmm, well, you know, I
was noticing that, um,
343
00:13:50,069 --> 00:13:52,823
y-your sign's a little confusing.
It looks like you need money
344
00:13:52,856 --> 00:13:54,729
for dog food for yourself.
345
00:13:54,809 --> 00:13:58,663
No, I-I need money for
my dog, food, and beer.
346
00:13:58,704 --> 00:13:59,671
May I?
347
00:13:59,722 --> 00:14:01,434
Yeah, please.
348
00:14:05,493 --> 00:14:07,404
Oh, that is clearer. Thanks, man.
349
00:14:07,476 --> 00:14:09,139
- Yeah.
- MAN: How's mine?
350
00:14:09,174 --> 00:14:10,576
_
351
00:14:10,611 --> 00:14:13,005
Between you and me,
civvies feel super guilty
352
00:14:13,074 --> 00:14:14,442
around us veterans, so they've trained
353
00:14:14,516 --> 00:14:16,201
themselves to ignore us.
354
00:14:16,236 --> 00:14:17,619
So, um...
355
00:14:17,654 --> 00:14:20,075
uh, you know may-maybe write
something funny instead.
356
00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,479
Like what?
357
00:14:22,371 --> 00:14:23,544
Well, can I get a...
358
00:14:23,579 --> 00:14:26,766
like, a suggestion of a
topic from one of you guys?
359
00:14:26,801 --> 00:14:28,123
You know, something light.
360
00:14:28,185 --> 00:14:30,561
- Cookies.
- Demon rape.
361
00:14:30,797 --> 00:14:32,123
I heard "cookies."
362
00:14:32,176 --> 00:14:34,612
Um... oh, all right.
363
00:14:34,731 --> 00:14:38,209
How about, uh, "Can only afford Hydrox,
364
00:14:38,244 --> 00:14:40,571
need money for Oreos."
365
00:14:40,604 --> 00:14:41,515
(laughs)
366
00:14:41,550 --> 00:14:44,117
Because they're discount-ass Oreos.
367
00:14:44,175 --> 00:14:45,719
Yeah, that's funny. Wr-Write that.
368
00:14:45,754 --> 00:14:47,127
All right.
369
00:14:51,312 --> 00:14:54,025
To think you know how other
people should think and feel.
370
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:56,269
That is someone with something
seriously wrong with them.
371
00:14:56,330 --> 00:14:58,022
That's psychopath behavior.
372
00:14:58,057 --> 00:14:59,657
So what do we do when
she finally comes out?
373
00:14:59,692 --> 00:15:02,064
We follow her home and egg her house. Duh.
374
00:15:02,466 --> 00:15:06,063
I had a better plan, but apparently
pig's blood is, like, 12 bucks a quart.
375
00:15:06,096 --> 00:15:08,199
Can I have some more of
those? Those are good.
376
00:15:11,173 --> 00:15:12,385
Gretchen...
377
00:15:13,429 --> 00:15:16,495
...tell me what I may or may not have...
378
00:15:16,530 --> 00:15:20,278
maybe did by sorta-or-
not-mistake is okay.
379
00:15:20,335 --> 00:15:22,048
I'm not gonna absolve
you for stabbing Paul.
380
00:15:22,113 --> 00:15:24,005
What?! I didn't!
381
00:15:24,075 --> 00:15:26,083
Are you crazy?
382
00:15:26,604 --> 00:15:28,068
Who's watching Paul, anyway?
383
00:15:28,103 --> 00:15:30,948
He's fine. I set him up with a pile of DVDs
384
00:15:30,983 --> 00:15:32,869
and yummy sandwiches.
385
00:15:35,488 --> 00:15:36,764
(panting): Please.
386
00:15:36,860 --> 00:15:38,129
(grunts)
387
00:15:38,208 --> 00:15:40,429
Please go in. (grunts)
388
00:15:40,526 --> 00:15:41,361
Please.
389
00:15:41,999 --> 00:15:43,624
Please. Please go in.
390
00:15:43,659 --> 00:15:45,781
(panting)
391
00:15:45,816 --> 00:15:47,385
Last one.
392
00:15:51,213 --> 00:15:53,237
Please! (grunts)
393
00:15:53,272 --> 00:15:54,918
(TV chimes)
394
00:15:54,953 --> 00:15:56,122
Yes.
395
00:15:56,189 --> 00:15:57,309
Yes!
396
00:15:57,983 --> 00:16:00,892
Where's the thing? (panting)
397
00:16:01,065 --> 00:16:02,472
Where's the...
398
00:16:07,611 --> 00:16:08,901
(screaming)
399
00:16:14,083 --> 00:16:15,625
(sighs)
400
00:16:19,070 --> 00:16:21,439
(squeals, exhales)
401
00:16:23,972 --> 00:16:25,090
What are you doing?
402
00:16:25,125 --> 00:16:27,953
Nothing. What? Me and my
girlfriend were just making out.
403
00:16:28,078 --> 00:16:29,913
No. Don't... no.
404
00:16:29,947 --> 00:16:31,312
Okay.
405
00:16:32,522 --> 00:16:33,853
(sighs)
406
00:16:33,888 --> 00:16:35,001
I don't know. Nothing.
407
00:16:35,036 --> 00:16:37,150
I was just gonna follow
you home or whatever.
408
00:16:37,185 --> 00:16:38,664
- Why?
- To egg you.
409
00:16:38,732 --> 00:16:40,978
Not necessarily!
410
00:16:41,782 --> 00:16:43,654
I just wanted, you know,
to prove that you don't have
411
00:16:43,710 --> 00:16:46,198
- any right to judge me. Obviously.
- You're right.
412
00:16:46,271 --> 00:16:48,330
I don't. Good night.
413
00:16:49,512 --> 00:16:51,736
Being vulnerable makes me angry!
414
00:16:54,248 --> 00:16:55,678
(sighs)
415
00:16:56,873 --> 00:16:58,276
I get that.
416
00:16:58,649 --> 00:17:00,499
Being vulnerable is scary.
417
00:17:00,585 --> 00:17:02,613
But most people don't even try.
418
00:17:02,648 --> 00:17:05,681
Like my boyfriend. He never
wants to talk about his stuff.
419
00:17:05,716 --> 00:17:08,628
He just squashes it down
and keeps it all on lock.
420
00:17:08,663 --> 00:17:11,358
Okay. So what happens to
people like your boyfriend?
421
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:13,209
Oh, no... I don't know.
422
00:17:13,244 --> 00:17:14,752
We'll see, I guess.
423
00:17:14,787 --> 00:17:17,228
Hopefully he stops wearing
zip-up cargo shorts.
424
00:17:18,462 --> 00:17:21,017
But I know locked-down shit
425
00:17:21,079 --> 00:17:23,093
eventually becomes unlocked-down.
426
00:17:23,142 --> 00:17:27,344
Eventually, a person has to start
taking responsibility for their own life.
427
00:17:27,414 --> 00:17:29,496
(gasps) See? There it is.
428
00:17:29,531 --> 00:17:32,309
- You're-you're blaming me again.
- Calls 'em like I sees 'em.
429
00:17:32,971 --> 00:17:34,077
(sighs)
430
00:17:34,506 --> 00:17:35,913
What was that you were saying
431
00:17:35,945 --> 00:17:38,463
- about taking responsibility?
- Ow.
432
00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:40,320
Look, I can guide,
433
00:17:41,442 --> 00:17:44,030
but a patient has to
do the work themselves.
434
00:17:44,065 --> 00:17:46,763
Eventually we all have to take
responsibility for our own life.
435
00:17:47,613 --> 00:17:50,009
So, I'll see you next week, maybe?
436
00:17:50,044 --> 00:17:52,118
And don't stalk me again.
437
00:17:52,170 --> 00:17:54,171
'Cause you guys suck at it.
438
00:17:56,505 --> 00:17:59,126
I am so wet right now.
439
00:17:59,161 --> 00:18:00,989
Back off, bitch.
440
00:18:01,688 --> 00:18:03,847
- (indistinct police transmission)
- That part you just read,
441
00:18:03,882 --> 00:18:07,157
it sounds too fancy. Like, just
make the language more regular.
442
00:18:07,192 --> 00:18:11,972
Tristan and Iris are from
upper-crust, early 20th century London.
443
00:18:12,007 --> 00:18:13,761
Why can't he just say something like,
444
00:18:13,796 --> 00:18:15,670
"Iris, your twat's driving me up the wall"?
445
00:18:15,703 --> 00:18:17,571
- Okay. Anything else?
- Shouldn't Simon
446
00:18:17,605 --> 00:18:19,412
and... the redhead...
447
00:18:19,475 --> 00:18:20,353
Kitty.
448
00:18:20,388 --> 00:18:22,042
Yeah. Kitty.
449
00:18:22,176 --> 00:18:24,725
Shouldn't they end up
together so people are happy?
450
00:18:24,780 --> 00:18:27,045
But theirs is a taboo love forbidden
451
00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:31,202
by our current, ironically
more repressive society.
452
00:18:32,787 --> 00:18:34,411
Okay. That's a good note.
453
00:18:34,481 --> 00:18:36,728
All right. Find a different ending,
454
00:18:36,763 --> 00:18:39,360
colloquialize the language
in the first third,
455
00:18:39,395 --> 00:18:41,834
find motivation for the face-sitting,
456
00:18:41,878 --> 00:18:46,336
a few other tweaks. All
right, thank you, everybody.
457
00:18:46,896 --> 00:18:50,575
- Here we are.
- Also, there's too much sex.
458
00:18:51,826 --> 00:18:53,208
_
459
00:18:53,243 --> 00:18:55,613
- ♪
♪
- (indistinct chatter)
460
00:19:01,957 --> 00:19:02,743
Edgar?
461
00:19:02,778 --> 00:19:04,747
What are you doing?
462
00:19:04,782 --> 00:19:06,169
So, I was thinking,
463
00:19:06,221 --> 00:19:08,206
"From future. Time machine's broken.
464
00:19:08,255 --> 00:19:10,698
Need money for plutonium."
Then, in parentheses,
465
00:19:10,739 --> 00:19:13,752
"FYI, the Cowboys win
the Super Bowl next year."
466
00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:14,733
What do you think?
467
00:19:14,768 --> 00:19:16,390
What is going on with you?
468
00:19:19,088 --> 00:19:21,666
I got out of it. But they're still here.
469
00:19:21,701 --> 00:19:25,029
Plus, I have useful comedic
skills and a Sharpie.
470
00:19:25,107 --> 00:19:26,962
I think that it's really nice
that you want to help them,
471
00:19:26,997 --> 00:19:28,926
but how 'bout helping your girlfriend?
472
00:19:28,961 --> 00:19:30,615
- Isn't that why you're here?
- You don't need it,
473
00:19:30,647 --> 00:19:33,035
not like they do. You have a place to live.
474
00:19:35,394 --> 00:19:37,595
Maybe we could get the
rest of my stuff upstairs,
475
00:19:37,630 --> 00:19:41,175
and then we could use the boxes
to help you make some signs.
476
00:19:44,527 --> 00:19:45,957
Thank you.
477
00:19:46,730 --> 00:19:48,700
(fly buzzing)
478
00:19:49,790 --> 00:19:51,845
- LINDSAY: Paul? Sweetheart?
- Wha...
479
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:55,254
Lindsay? Is that you?
480
00:19:55,289 --> 00:19:59,509
(grunting)
481
00:20:00,446 --> 00:20:01,867
It is.
482
00:20:02,592 --> 00:20:04,329
Poor dear.
483
00:20:04,365 --> 00:20:07,369
(grunting)
484
00:20:08,816 --> 00:20:09,652
Paul?
485
00:20:09,687 --> 00:20:10,708
Hmm?
486
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,340
I'm sorry I was gone all day.
487
00:20:13,375 --> 00:20:15,159
I'm prepared to...
488
00:20:15,761 --> 00:20:18,531
take responsibility for that.
489
00:20:19,578 --> 00:20:21,067
Do you forgive me?
490
00:20:21,102 --> 00:20:22,897
- Of course I forgive y...
- Great!
491
00:20:22,932 --> 00:20:25,238
- (groans)
- I took responsibility,
492
00:20:25,273 --> 00:20:26,826
and now it's in the past.
493
00:20:26,873 --> 00:20:29,154
Whoosh! Gone.
494
00:20:29,189 --> 00:20:30,715
I'll make us Red Napkin.
495
00:20:30,750 --> 00:20:32,834
I love you.
496
00:20:32,923 --> 00:20:34,146
Of course.
497
00:20:34,332 --> 00:20:35,865
We're family.
498
00:20:35,900 --> 00:20:37,796
(grunts) Ow.
499
00:20:37,831 --> 00:20:40,267
♪ ♪
500
00:20:46,449 --> 00:20:47,982
Should we just give up?
501
00:20:48,215 --> 00:20:51,311
Yeah, guess so. (grunts)
502
00:20:52,049 --> 00:20:54,298
I just keep thinking about my book.
503
00:20:54,333 --> 00:20:56,768
Therapist all up in my cabeza.
504
00:20:56,803 --> 00:20:57,992
We're better than this!
505
00:20:58,027 --> 00:20:59,691
I don't know why I'm so scared of doing
506
00:20:59,746 --> 00:21:02,903
some stupid, Dr. Phil bullshit task.
507
00:21:02,938 --> 00:21:05,789
She's the one making it
seem like this Miyagi test.
508
00:21:05,824 --> 00:21:08,136
That's it. I'm gonna
open this goddamn mail.
509
00:21:09,395 --> 00:21:12,251
Then I'm gonna call my agent and
tell him to pull the proposal.
510
00:21:12,291 --> 00:21:15,320
Maybe this isn't even the
book that I want to write.
511
00:21:15,355 --> 00:21:16,591
Who knows?
512
00:21:19,194 --> 00:21:20,898
(exhales)
513
00:21:31,066 --> 00:21:32,769
(exhales)
514
00:21:33,722 --> 00:21:35,857
Gas bill. Easy.
515
00:21:36,030 --> 00:21:37,758
(laughs)
516
00:21:42,243 --> 00:21:45,247
Oh. Yeah, right, electricity.
I'm not paying you.
517
00:21:46,466 --> 00:21:48,801
No, I don't want your stupid magazine!
518
00:21:49,336 --> 00:21:50,338
Nope.
519
00:21:52,510 --> 00:21:53,578
(exhales)
520
00:22:01,949 --> 00:22:04,775
_
521
00:22:08,570 --> 00:22:11,237
_
522
00:22:11,272 --> 00:22:12,160
No.
523
00:22:13,626 --> 00:22:16,705
Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no.
524
00:22:16,740 --> 00:22:17,799
JIMMY: Gretchen!
525
00:22:17,866 --> 00:22:20,168
My book! My book!
526
00:22:20,831 --> 00:22:22,374
The proposal sold!
527
00:22:22,409 --> 00:22:25,020
Ha! Suck it, Edgar and-and Dorothy
528
00:22:25,075 --> 00:22:28,091
and that cop, old lady, and businesswoman.
529
00:22:28,146 --> 00:22:29,391
I did it. Ha!
530
00:22:29,426 --> 00:22:31,273
- I did it!
- (yelps)
531
00:22:31,796 --> 00:22:33,313
Oh, my God, that's-that's great.
532
00:22:33,347 --> 00:22:35,316
Um, have you... have you
talked to your family recently?
533
00:22:35,348 --> 00:22:37,181
Mwah!
534
00:22:37,259 --> 00:22:38,744
Hell no. I blocked all their numbers
535
00:22:38,798 --> 00:22:41,410
after their disastrous visit. Why?
536
00:22:41,491 --> 00:22:42,160
Nothing.
537
00:22:42,222 --> 00:22:43,658
We get the offer on Monday.
538
00:22:43,691 --> 00:22:45,342
God, I love being a writer!
539
00:22:45,383 --> 00:22:46,788
I mean, not that I'm surprised.
540
00:22:46,850 --> 00:22:49,649
This one felt so good, you know?
541
00:22:49,720 --> 00:22:51,668
I sure left it all on
the page with this one.
542
00:22:51,738 --> 00:22:54,460
And my faith in it never
wavered. Not really.
543
00:22:54,538 --> 00:22:57,204
Nope, never wavered at all.
544
00:22:57,238 --> 00:22:59,641
♪ ♪
545
00:23:04,527 --> 00:23:09,527
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
546
00:23:09,562 --> 00:23:11,598
♪ My eyes are tired ♪
547
00:23:11,633 --> 00:23:15,464
♪ And I'm a liar ♪
548
00:23:15,514 --> 00:23:18,000
♪ I wish I had grace ♪
549
00:23:18,035 --> 00:23:21,392
♪ But I can re-erase. ♪
550
00:23:21,427 --> 00:23:22,800
♪ ♪