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So you remember Jimmy,
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00:00:09,931 --> 00:00:11,908
- right?
- Oh, my God. Gretchen.
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00:00:11,943 --> 00:00:14,144
Tough titties, it's a free country.
4
00:00:14,179 --> 00:00:17,245
Anyway, I have to have this
really sucky conversation with him
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- and I don't want to at all.
- Your appointment isn't until next week.
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00:00:20,132 --> 00:00:21,792
- You cannot just show up places.
- Well then,
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stop Foursquaring yourself
every time you leave the house,
8
00:00:24,545 --> 00:00:26,767
like the Mayor of Thirsty Town. Also,
9
00:00:26,802 --> 00:00:29,101
stop using Foursquare
like the Mayor of 2011.
10
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Okay. So you need something from Jimmy.
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Yeah. I need his dad to
have seen a cardiologist!
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Ha-ha, snap.
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He died?
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- I'm so sorry. When?
- Okay.
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So here's the part where
you feel like total dog shit.
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Remember you made me open my mail?
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Well I did. And boom.
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There's his dad's obit. And I'm like,
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"Well, shit! How am I
supposed to tell him?"
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So how am I supposed to tell him?
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- You haven't told him?
- No! Ew! I couldn't!
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He was so stoked
about selling his book.
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00:00:58,972 --> 00:01:01,286
And then I got busy and
forgot for a couple days.
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00:01:01,321 --> 00:01:03,015
But then, I was gonna tell him,
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00:01:03,050 --> 00:01:06,630
and I got preoccupied by
this iguana on Instagram
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who is just so over it.
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It's gonna suck so bad.
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I get it. It's tough.
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The idea of seeing Jimmy in pain...
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Jimmy? No, this is
gonna suck for me.
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We've been having hella fun lately.
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Boning like crazy.
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I tricked him into giving me backrubs,
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saying that it made me horny.
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Jokes on you, dummy. I'm horny already.
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Here's an idea: what if
I just never tell him?
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I-I don't like to tell my patients what
to do, but Jesus Christ, you have to
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- tell Jimmy his father died.
- What if he cries,
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and I see the sad little boy inside?
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I don't want to tell him.
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I know. And I've met Jimmy...
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that sounds disgusting... but you have to.
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Fine.
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I suppose you want me to pay you now.
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Ugh, you owe me a five spot.
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Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
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Right. Remember,
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the look we're going for is jocund but...
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profoundly tormented. Okay?
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00:02:26,719 --> 00:02:28,319
Uh, what's going on, Jimbo?
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Jacket photo. It's a bit early.
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But I'm planning on going full D'Onofrio
once the advance money comes in.
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Can you take a little break?
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God, no, woman! There's too much to do,
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now that the starting gun on
the Grand Prix has sounded,
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the instant that I take my
foot off the proverbial gas
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to celebrate, shall
materialize five other writers
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in my side mirror just ready to pass me
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on the Autobahn that is
the publishing industry...
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to clumsily mix European
race car metaphors.
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As a veteran writer girlfriend now,
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- you know that the work is never-ending.
- But you spent
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the last few months drinking and jerking
it to the Lane Bryant shoe catalog.
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If I have to explain this one more time:
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it's all writing.
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Um, I'll be quick.
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Listen, Jimmy...
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No, I'm sorry. Look, this is
gonna be a very long, arduous...
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yet certainly rewarding... journey for you,
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at my side, so before the madness begins,
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as a pre-ward, I want to take
you on a restorative trip.
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Like a cruise?
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Can we go on a cruise?
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- Um...
- That's my dream vacation!
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My parents always thought it was tacky.
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Okay. Well, if your idea of paradise
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is succumbing to Norovirus
on a floating red state,
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then sure!
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There-there is a water
slide and-and a musical revue
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and if the grown-ups are busy gambling,
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you hang out with the
other kids and just color!
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Okay, I need to get back to my
shoot. I have a liquid brunch
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with my editor, so we can
plan marketing strategies.
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Sounds fun!
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Gretchen.
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Every mimosa is a chore.
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00:04:01,230 --> 00:04:04,522
Okay? Every sip is a
brick in a literary wall
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- that I'm painting...
- Got it. Yay! Cruise!
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00:04:07,322 --> 00:04:08,825
Okay, back to work. Props.
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Ooh, you hungry?
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00:04:19,272 --> 00:04:20,672
I could eat.
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May I help you?
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We're with the network.
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So, how's your gimpy husband?
95
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Poor Paul. He's off the couch,
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but his wound keeps
getting reinfected somehow.
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00:04:36,302 --> 00:04:39,749
I poked around there with my
fingers, and couldn't find anything.
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00:04:39,784 --> 00:04:42,182
I feel guilty because
of how much he suffered.
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And because you stabbed him on purpose.
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I didn't want to kill him, I just snapped.
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- Oops...
- I knew it!
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Lindser! Oh, my God, I
thought I was scared of you
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00:04:52,865 --> 00:04:54,565
that time you yelled
at that cop in Tijuana.
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You should be scared.
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And it was so easy.
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I was just like...
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Poking some cheese.
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Poking some cheese?
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It's spooky. Afterwards,
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I kept telling myself I didn't do it,
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until I actually believed it.
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Like how Oprah can eat bread now.
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You don't love Paul.
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That was true for Old Lindsay.
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00:05:20,789 --> 00:05:24,330
New Lindsay can put any
thought in her brain.
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Like that upside down movie
with Juno and the dreidel
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00:05:27,718 --> 00:05:30,206
and Tom Hardy with the tight pants.
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If I can incept myself I didn't stab Paul,
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maybe I can incept myself into loving him.
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How are things with the Jim-dogs?
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- Oh, suck-balls. His pops croaked.
- Yawn.
122
00:05:45,149 --> 00:05:48,416
- So what's the probs?
- I haven't told him yet.
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- And now my therapist is making me.
- You can't tell him, Gretch!
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The second those words
come out of your mouth,
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You are no longer Jimmy's fun sex hole.
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You're the guys at the beginning of Saving
Private Ryan who make the moms fall down.
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You're right!
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That titty-sucking bitch is trying to
straight "Lemonade" my relationship.
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00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:08,892
- What do I do?
- Get some
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00:06:08,939 --> 00:06:11,139
other sucker to tell him.
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Colby! Travis!
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You two know the policy on roughhousing.
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I don't care if you are best friends.
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Ten more minutes and I'm coming in there!
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As I was saying, we've
got a killer special.
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$49 for three yoga sessions,
or three Pilates sessions.
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We also have a cutting-edge new lineup
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00:06:32,839 --> 00:06:35,895
of the hottest new
hybrid workouts. Piloxing:
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00:06:35,930 --> 00:06:38,397
Pilates and boxing, yogitsu:
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00:06:38,443 --> 00:06:39,931
yoga and jujitsu,
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00:06:39,987 --> 00:06:42,641
spowing: spinning and rowing,
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Zustified: that's Zumba while
you binge-watch Justified,
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- it's actually not really...
- Edgar, shut up.
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We need to tell you a secret.
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No, no, no, no, no. I-I
don't want any secrets.
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You love secrets.
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Secrets are your favorite thing.
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00:06:56,352 --> 00:06:59,060
Oh, this is a really bad
time. Okay? I've been stuck
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00:06:59,095 --> 00:07:01,677
with processing some events, like
the time we got pinned down outside
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00:07:01,752 --> 00:07:05,265
of Tikrit, and we had to improvise
body armor with tank shrapnel.
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00:07:05,300 --> 00:07:06,009
That's not so bad.
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00:07:06,044 --> 00:07:08,149
Or like, the time I was
so thirsty I shot a camel.
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- Because the humps have water?
- Because you thought there was water in the humps?
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00:07:10,309 --> 00:07:13,885
Yeah. Turns out they don't work
like that. Anyway, seriously,
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I-I don't have any room in
my heads for any more dark...
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Jimmy's dad died, and he doesn't know.
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Jimmy's dad what?
158
00:07:21,622 --> 00:07:23,651
Oh, God.
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00:07:24,339 --> 00:07:26,954
Poor Ronny, poor Jimmy, poor camel.
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00:07:27,363 --> 00:07:28,806
Poor Bing Bong.
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00:07:28,894 --> 00:07:30,309
Everything's bad, you guys.
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00:07:30,380 --> 00:07:31,649
Everything's really, really bad.
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- So you'll tell him, yeah? Thanks.
- No,
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no, no way! I...
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I told enough people that
someone that they love died.
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I have an idea. When my parents
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00:07:40,921 --> 00:07:43,309
got divorced, they told us at Benihana's
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so we wouldn't cause a scene.
The chef put a shrimp in his hat.
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00:07:46,736 --> 00:07:49,396
- How'd that work?
- He just put a shrimp in his hat.
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00:07:49,431 --> 00:07:51,727
No, I mean, telling you in public.
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00:07:51,762 --> 00:07:54,710
Oh. It totally made us
not freak out as much.
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00:07:54,762 --> 00:07:57,744
Except later, I drank my mom's
mai tai and climbed on the table
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'cause I forgot it was a grill.
That's why I don't have footprints.
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00:08:02,247 --> 00:08:03,189
Okay.
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00:08:03,224 --> 00:08:05,758
So, maybe I invite a bunch of people over,
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00:08:05,829 --> 00:08:07,742
and then everyone tells him together.
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00:08:07,796 --> 00:08:11,194
And then he associates the sadness
with you jerks, and not with me.
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00:08:11,238 --> 00:08:13,071
That suddenly sounds bad for us.
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00:08:13,106 --> 00:08:17,115
I got to go, you guys. I'm
late teaching Treadsparent.
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It's running on a
treadmill while you watch...
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00:08:19,596 --> 00:08:20,996
We get it.
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00:08:32,029 --> 00:08:36,164
These hand-crutches were all Lindsay
could find at the medical supply.
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00:08:36,199 --> 00:08:37,556
I don't like that place.
184
00:08:37,591 --> 00:08:39,072
So many weird toilets.
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00:08:39,107 --> 00:08:40,183
Mmm.
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00:08:40,714 --> 00:08:43,077
I love sneaking an
extra dessert, don't you?
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00:08:43,112 --> 00:08:44,620
One's for me, one's for my baby.
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00:08:44,655 --> 00:08:47,070
I'm not giving my dessert to your baby.
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00:08:47,818 --> 00:08:49,948
Oh, right, you meant my baby.
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00:08:49,983 --> 00:08:51,478
That's right, I'm still pregnant.
191
00:08:51,557 --> 00:08:52,503
Check it out.
192
00:08:52,538 --> 00:08:55,837
Looks like a normal vest
with a ton of pockets, right?
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00:08:55,872 --> 00:08:57,682
Wrong.
194
00:08:57,733 --> 00:08:59,165
Harmonica vest.
195
00:08:59,202 --> 00:09:02,624
Ever since I Venmo'd a year's
salary to some chick in the Ukraine,
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00:09:02,698 --> 00:09:05,899
I can only have hobbies
that cost less than $25.
197
00:09:07,867 --> 00:09:09,004
Hell yeah!
198
00:09:11,145 --> 00:09:12,508
Hey, everybody.
199
00:09:12,550 --> 00:09:16,391
Uh, thank you so much for coming
to Jimmy's surprise/congratulations-
200
00:09:16,438 --> 00:09:17,654
you-sold-the-book
party.
201
00:09:17,689 --> 00:09:20,820
Um, small change of plans, though.
202
00:09:20,882 --> 00:09:22,398
Jimmy's dad passed away.
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00:09:24,604 --> 00:09:25,974
What a major tradge,
204
00:09:26,009 --> 00:09:29,031
but happens every day
on my operating table.
205
00:09:29,066 --> 00:09:31,558
Someone dies every day
on your operating table?
206
00:09:31,593 --> 00:09:34,185
Not literally every day, dummy. On average.
207
00:09:34,220 --> 00:09:35,918
Our condolences, Gretchen.
208
00:09:35,967 --> 00:09:38,379
We should let you two grieve in private.
209
00:09:38,414 --> 00:09:40,176
Oh, no, no, no, no! Stay.
210
00:09:40,211 --> 00:09:41,686
Um, in fact...
211
00:09:41,721 --> 00:09:44,378
Wait, crazy idea.
212
00:09:44,413 --> 00:09:46,618
Um, why don't we tell him together?
213
00:09:46,673 --> 00:09:47,965
He doesn't know?
214
00:09:48,018 --> 00:09:49,485
Well, it happened in England.
215
00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:51,724
And there's a time difference, so...
216
00:09:51,759 --> 00:09:54,087
Yeah, uh, so, when he comes home,
217
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:56,522
I'll give the signal,
you guys drop the bomb,
218
00:09:56,557 --> 00:09:58,330
and boom... it's your fault.
219
00:09:58,365 --> 00:10:01,400
Thanks so much for doing
this. Eat cheese, have fun.
220
00:10:05,119 --> 00:10:06,873
Can you imagine?
221
00:10:06,932 --> 00:10:08,924
He was almost
my father-in-law.
222
00:10:08,959 --> 00:10:11,162
Of course, I'm much closer to
the whole thing now that I'm
223
00:10:11,197 --> 00:10:14,210
going to have a daughter.
224
00:10:14,812 --> 00:10:16,397
That's right.
225
00:10:16,432 --> 00:10:17,748
We're having a girl.
226
00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:18,875
Aah!
227
00:10:18,910 --> 00:10:20,369
Isn't that amazing?
228
00:10:20,425 --> 00:10:21,922
Can't you just die how cute
229
00:10:21,957 --> 00:10:23,173
- we're gonna be together?
- Mm.
230
00:10:23,246 --> 00:10:26,148
Of course, it's such a shame
that our gender-reveal party
231
00:10:26,211 --> 00:10:30,011
was spoiled when those North Korean
hackers stole Vernon's identity.
232
00:10:30,046 --> 00:10:32,991
Becca, we all know
Vernon was a money-slave.
233
00:10:33,026 --> 00:10:35,535
What? No, no, no.
234
00:10:35,570 --> 00:10:38,833
No, that was just a story he
told, because he was embarrassed.
235
00:10:38,902 --> 00:10:40,301
Bad passwords.
237
00:10:41,872 --> 00:10:43,355
I lost my dad, too.
239
00:10:44,535 --> 00:10:46,259
I just lost him.
240
00:10:46,294 --> 00:10:48,763
Last week, we were at
the Beverly Center and
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00:10:52,288 --> 00:10:54,092
I think we both knew
what was about to happen.
243
00:10:54,147 --> 00:10:56,070
- Oh, no.
- So, I've been
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00:10:56,117 --> 00:10:58,866
living alone, sleeping in his bed.
245
00:10:58,901 --> 00:11:00,439
I'm not ready to be an adult.
246
00:11:00,530 --> 00:11:04,699
Contemplate the sundry ways
a society handles its elderly
247
00:11:04,741 --> 00:11:06,441
and infirm. For instance,
248
00:11:06,476 --> 00:11:10,092
the noble Eskimo sets
himself adrift on an iceberg.
250
00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:16,495
You love this smart, smart man.
253
00:11:22,106 --> 00:11:23,671
He's here!
254
00:11:23,732 --> 00:11:24,990
Get ready.
255
00:11:27,755 --> 00:11:31,930
Gretchen, that brunch was a nightmare.
257
00:11:34,791 --> 00:11:37,520
Plus the "bottomless"
in "bottomless mimosas"
258
00:11:37,567 --> 00:11:41,415
means nothing if the waitress
disappears for ten minutes at a time.
259
00:11:41,453 --> 00:11:44,064
Jimmy, look who's here.
260
00:11:44,099 --> 00:11:45,798
Huh. You invited people over.
261
00:11:45,833 --> 00:11:46,880
Is it Oscar night?
262
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:50,149
Well, keep it down. I, of course,
must handcuff myself to my laptop
263
00:11:50,219 --> 00:11:51,446
until my book is written.
265
00:11:53,109 --> 00:11:54,665
Wait, Jimmy, uh...
266
00:11:54,700 --> 00:11:55,944
Just stay a moment.
267
00:11:56,002 --> 00:11:58,298
Um, everyone's here for you.
268
00:11:59,616 --> 00:12:01,944
You're here to celebrate my book sale.
269
00:12:02,010 --> 00:12:05,589
Well, it would be positively unsporting
of me to deny you the pleasure
270
00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:07,701
of basking in my success, even though
271
00:12:07,764 --> 00:12:09,582
nothing good happened to you.
272
00:12:09,653 --> 00:12:11,907
I never understood that impulse, really.
273
00:12:11,942 --> 00:12:16,088
Though we do tend to gather around a fire.
274
00:12:16,143 --> 00:12:18,010
No, Jimmy, you don't understand, um...
275
00:12:18,076 --> 00:12:19,806
- Hey, everybody, could we, um...?
- And, Gretchen,
276
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:21,367
my partner in crime,
277
00:12:21,425 --> 00:12:26,122
the diminutive, mole-lipped Lillian
Hellman to my Dashiell Hammett.
278
00:12:26,157 --> 00:12:28,724
You have been so supportive.
279
00:12:28,779 --> 00:12:31,225
No problem. Uh, the people
would like to tell you something.
280
00:12:31,260 --> 00:12:33,653
So, I was gonna surprise you.
281
00:12:33,688 --> 00:12:35,426
But I did some research.
282
00:12:35,473 --> 00:12:37,519
And I think I found the
perfect cruise for you.
283
00:12:37,587 --> 00:12:38,920
It's called
284
00:12:38,979 --> 00:12:42,599
"The Famous Pets of Instagram Cruise."
285
00:12:44,628 --> 00:12:46,400
What?!
286
00:12:46,487 --> 00:12:48,318
Sombrero Iguana?
287
00:12:49,580 --> 00:12:52,490
Bus Stop Goat!
288
00:12:52,525 --> 00:12:54,439
Cookie Pig!
289
00:12:54,532 --> 00:12:57,272
They're all gonna be there for me?
290
00:12:57,929 --> 00:13:00,134
When are we delivering
the package, you know?
291
00:13:00,184 --> 00:13:02,498
- The top secret intel?
- Shut up.
292
00:13:02,533 --> 00:13:04,808
After he buys the tickets.
293
00:13:04,843 --> 00:13:08,105
This is the greatest day of my life!
294
00:13:08,195 --> 00:13:10,569
I am gonna meet Grumpy Cat!
295
00:13:10,604 --> 00:13:12,482
I sold my book!
296
00:13:12,517 --> 00:13:14,477
We're gonna live forever!
297
00:13:49,134 --> 00:13:53,049
Lindsay, I got champagne in my wound.
298
00:13:53,104 --> 00:13:55,293
The bubbles, they sting!
299
00:13:55,328 --> 00:13:57,577
You have to flush it for me.
300
00:13:57,768 --> 00:13:59,684
Okay, Bear, let's go to the sink.
301
00:13:59,719 --> 00:14:01,417
It hurts so bad!
302
00:14:01,452 --> 00:14:03,667
Does it smell funny?
If it smells like eggs,
303
00:14:03,733 --> 00:14:05,570
you have to take me back to urgent care!
304
00:14:05,605 --> 00:14:07,372
You love him. You love him.
305
00:14:07,442 --> 00:14:09,200
Want to get stupid?
306
00:14:09,255 --> 00:14:12,794
How can you party like this
when you know someone died?
307
00:14:12,872 --> 00:14:14,543
I work at a hospital, dude.
308
00:14:14,629 --> 00:14:16,684
Just 'cause a busload
of dead kids rolled up,
309
00:14:16,739 --> 00:14:18,545
doesn't make it not
Margarita Monday.
310
00:15:12,854 --> 00:15:15,154
Congratulations, Jimmy.
311
00:15:15,538 --> 00:15:19,020
It is really great to see you so happy.
312
00:15:19,055 --> 00:15:20,413
Mm.
313
00:15:24,112 --> 00:15:27,647
You have always been a success in my book.
314
00:15:28,285 --> 00:15:29,704
Oh.
315
00:15:32,308 --> 00:15:33,963
Okay.
316
00:15:34,034 --> 00:15:35,879
I picked out an ocean suite
317
00:15:35,914 --> 00:15:38,440
with a porthole so we can smoke and
318
00:15:38,475 --> 00:15:40,943
I added a meet and greet
with Sarcastic Llama.
319
00:15:40,978 --> 00:15:43,884
They take Apple Pay. You just have
to put your thumb on the thing.
320
00:15:48,026 --> 00:15:50,341
They don't want me to succeed.
321
00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:52,021
Oh, no, Jimmy, before you turn,
322
00:15:52,090 --> 00:15:53,523
can you just put your thumb on the thing?!
323
00:15:53,591 --> 00:15:55,302
- Look at them.
- No!
324
00:15:55,370 --> 00:15:58,133
Sirens singing, "Come play with us."
325
00:15:58,187 --> 00:16:02,203
But really they just want me
to pilot my literary schooner
326
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:04,408
into the rocks of do-nothingness.
327
00:16:04,443 --> 00:16:06,295
- I invited them!
- Exactly!
328
00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:09,125
If you all didn't want me to fail,
329
00:16:09,202 --> 00:16:12,766
then you would've listened
when I said I have to write!
330
00:16:12,835 --> 00:16:16,102
They're desperately afraid
that I will shine so brightly,
331
00:16:16,137 --> 00:16:19,433
it will illuminate how dim
their lives are by comparison.
332
00:16:19,484 --> 00:16:20,653
Congratulations, Jimmy.
333
00:16:20,688 --> 00:16:24,341
Unaccepted. This is
attempted criminal derailment.
334
00:16:24,376 --> 00:16:26,777
I don't know what you're
saying, but it sounds jerky.
335
00:16:26,841 --> 00:16:28,693
Yeah, and I'll be sure to return the favor
336
00:16:28,766 --> 00:16:30,381
and sabotage your eventual attempt
337
00:16:30,416 --> 00:16:32,720
to do something useful with your life like
338
00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:36,154
finish your GED or dance
in your adult tap recital.
339
00:16:36,227 --> 00:16:38,118
It's Afro-funk fusion.
340
00:16:38,153 --> 00:16:39,448
Listen here, buster.
341
00:16:39,504 --> 00:16:42,920
Lindsay is my bride, she's
pregnant with my offspring,
342
00:16:42,955 --> 00:16:46,071
and she deserves respect!
343
00:16:46,106 --> 00:16:47,522
You love him.
344
00:16:48,202 --> 00:16:49,920
It worked.
345
00:16:49,982 --> 00:16:51,361
Apologize.
346
00:16:51,424 --> 00:16:52,984
I will do you one better.
347
00:16:53,038 --> 00:16:55,215
I'm gonna go downstairs
and get my heckle file.
348
00:16:55,250 --> 00:16:58,534
And after I put you all in
your place, once and for all,
349
00:16:58,597 --> 00:17:00,008
I'll be free to get to work,
350
00:17:00,043 --> 00:17:02,864
sans distractions.
351
00:17:03,114 --> 00:17:04,936
- Yes.
- Okay, everybody.
352
00:17:04,983 --> 00:17:07,764
Clock is ticking. Let's
rip off the Band-Aid.
353
00:17:07,830 --> 00:17:10,198
Mm, we're going home. Vernon?
354
00:17:10,233 --> 00:17:11,541
But I want to get heckled.
355
00:17:11,576 --> 00:17:13,395
Fine, you can Uber home.
356
00:17:13,465 --> 00:17:15,563
But only the cheap carpool one.
357
00:17:15,598 --> 00:17:17,672
I can't wait to see him cry.
358
00:17:17,711 --> 00:17:19,455
Oh, no, me Da.
359
00:17:19,490 --> 00:17:21,724
- Go tell him, Gretchen!
- No, Edgar's gonna do it.
360
00:17:21,787 --> 00:17:22,965
Remember?
361
00:17:23,027 --> 00:17:25,153
- I-I can't.
- Just do it!
362
00:17:25,211 --> 00:17:27,104
I'm dealing with some major shit.
363
00:17:28,855 --> 00:17:32,232
Delivering tragic news
is a kind of service.
364
00:17:32,267 --> 00:17:36,846
To sacrifice your own comfort so
they can have the gift of truth?
365
00:17:36,901 --> 00:17:39,095
That is true nobility.
366
00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,646
Like when I was born dead,
367
00:17:40,689 --> 00:17:43,377
I vividly remember the
pain in the doctor's voice
368
00:17:43,412 --> 00:17:47,119
when he told my parents, "I have
good news and I have bad news.
369
00:17:47,154 --> 00:17:48,011
"The good news...
370
00:17:48,046 --> 00:17:50,261
"it's a boy and he's hella hung.
371
00:17:50,296 --> 00:17:52,663
Bad news... dude's dead."
372
00:17:54,370 --> 00:17:55,662
You're right.
373
00:17:55,697 --> 00:17:57,398
Jimmy deserves to know the truth.
374
00:17:57,433 --> 00:17:58,857
Thank you. You're a hero.
375
00:17:58,892 --> 00:18:00,157
Now, get down there.
376
00:18:00,192 --> 00:18:03,470
Ooh, and remind him about
the cruise afterwards.
377
00:18:03,505 --> 00:18:04,854
Oh, no, wait.
378
00:18:04,889 --> 00:18:06,644
Maybe it's too early.
379
00:18:06,679 --> 00:18:08,401
Yeah, hold it.
380
00:18:08,534 --> 00:18:09,666
Go!
381
00:18:12,192 --> 00:18:16,157
_
382
00:18:20,630 --> 00:18:23,855
More like dim...
383
00:18:23,890 --> 00:18:24,743
Hey, Jimmy.
384
00:18:24,778 --> 00:18:27,197
I'm afraid some of these
heckles are a bit out of date.
385
00:18:27,251 --> 00:18:30,569
"Paul, nice It's Pat cosplay.
386
00:18:30,604 --> 00:18:32,071
"Edgar, I liked you better when you
387
00:18:32,106 --> 00:18:35,889
"writing and starring in the hit
musical In the Heights.
388
00:18:35,924 --> 00:18:36,689
"Becca,
389
00:18:36,724 --> 00:18:38,380
"heaven must be missing an angel,
390
00:18:38,415 --> 00:18:40,238
"because an angel saw your stupid face
391
00:18:40,273 --> 00:18:42,926
and blew its brains out."
392
00:18:43,004 --> 00:18:44,363
That one's evergreen.
393
00:18:44,398 --> 00:18:48,221
Uh, so you know how, uh,
people come into your lives
394
00:18:48,256 --> 00:18:50,847
and, and they touch you?
395
00:18:51,762 --> 00:18:54,411
Is this about you being molested?
396
00:18:54,446 --> 00:18:57,672
Boo-hoo. Every neighborhood
had a handsy fishmonger.
397
00:18:57,707 --> 00:18:59,703
No, Jimmy,
398
00:18:59,738 --> 00:19:00,949
it's about your father.
399
00:19:00,984 --> 00:19:03,671
Has Gretchen been infecting
you with her therapy?
400
00:19:03,740 --> 00:19:07,459
See, unlike Gretchen,
my father is a non-entity
401
00:19:07,509 --> 00:19:10,060
in my life. If this is
about anything,
402
00:19:10,142 --> 00:19:15,310
it's about my need to disprove the
notion that at the core I'm just shit,
403
00:19:15,347 --> 00:19:17,781
which all started when I was a kid and...
404
00:19:19,028 --> 00:19:20,694
Oh, my God.
405
00:19:20,857 --> 00:19:22,723
This is about my father.
406
00:19:22,792 --> 00:19:24,692
- Yeah, okay, see...
- No wonder I can't take
407
00:19:24,761 --> 00:19:26,699
a moment to enjoy my triumph.
408
00:19:26,734 --> 00:19:29,151
- I-I wouldn't...
- He's my true enemy!
409
00:19:29,186 --> 00:19:32,554
Instead of heckling my friends,
I am gonna call that old twat
410
00:19:32,589 --> 00:19:34,530
- and tear him to pieces.
- Uh, no, no, J-Jimmy!
411
00:19:34,565 --> 00:19:35,607
- Thanks, Edgar.
- Do not do that.
412
00:19:35,671 --> 00:19:37,878
This is the first good
idea you've ever had.
413
00:19:37,956 --> 00:19:39,360
Oh, no, Bing Bong!
414
00:19:39,395 --> 00:19:40,674
Bing Bong!
415
00:19:41,408 --> 00:19:42,748
Dad...
416
00:19:42,790 --> 00:19:45,123
Oh, no. Oh, this is bad.
417
00:19:45,208 --> 00:19:46,347
This is bad.
418
00:19:46,415 --> 00:19:47,561
Is he crying?
419
00:19:47,607 --> 00:19:50,478
It's really snotty and moany, isn't it?
420
00:19:50,541 --> 00:19:52,051
Bye! I'm gonna move to Arizona
421
00:19:52,086 --> 00:19:53,211
- and sell turquoise jewelry.
- No!
422
00:19:53,246 --> 00:19:55,030
He's gonna call his dad!
423
00:19:55,065 --> 00:19:57,258
- Wait, wait! You didn't tell him?!
- Not at all.
424
00:19:57,293 --> 00:19:58,604
Holy crap!
425
00:19:58,666 --> 00:19:59,627
We have to stop him.
426
00:19:59,695 --> 00:20:01,823
Or maybe we don't.
427
00:20:01,858 --> 00:20:03,025
Think it through.
428
00:20:03,079 --> 00:20:04,960
One of the trash-bag sisters picks up.
429
00:20:04,995 --> 00:20:06,287
Confusion, confusion.
430
00:20:06,322 --> 00:20:08,507
Oy, ya daft fart. We
sent the obit. Da's dead.
431
00:20:08,581 --> 00:20:10,671
And boom! A couple of weeks from now,
432
00:20:10,706 --> 00:20:12,981
I have a tan line shaped like Grumpy Cat,
433
00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:15,844
because she's been sitting on
my lap on the cruise deck...
434
00:20:15,879 --> 00:20:18,748
Gretchen, you don't get
to be in charge anymore!
435
00:20:18,783 --> 00:20:19,810
What? You can't do that.
436
00:20:19,878 --> 00:20:21,895
My man takes charge.
437
00:20:21,973 --> 00:20:24,995
Everyone who's not
currently on hobble sticks,
438
00:20:25,053 --> 00:20:28,754
go down there and stop him
from calling his dead father!
439
00:20:28,789 --> 00:20:31,743
A ghost picks up the phone,
I'm gonna shit my pants.
440
00:20:39,077 --> 00:20:40,180
Oh, God.
441
00:20:40,219 --> 00:20:42,128
- We're too late.
- Shh, what's he saying?
442
00:20:42,163 --> 00:20:44,493
Hey, Ronny, it's your son.
443
00:20:44,548 --> 00:20:46,927
You're probably at the pub
passed out in your stool over
444
00:20:46,962 --> 00:20:50,711
a half-eaten scotch egg in lard sauce,
445
00:20:50,792 --> 00:20:53,038
but I just wanted to let you know...
446
00:20:57,785 --> 00:20:59,651
I sold a book, Daddy.
447
00:21:06,115 --> 00:21:07,463
Good luck.
448
00:21:19,692 --> 00:21:22,019
Thanks for sticking up for me earlier.
449
00:21:22,094 --> 00:21:23,682
Of course.
450
00:21:23,792 --> 00:21:25,286
That's my job.
451
00:21:27,184 --> 00:21:29,049
I love you.
452
00:21:32,114 --> 00:21:33,446
Ow...
453
00:21:33,504 --> 00:21:36,193
I think my wound is weeping again.
454
00:21:42,753 --> 00:21:44,214
Hey, dude?
455
00:21:44,308 --> 00:21:46,867
Can I give you my profesh medical opinion?
456
00:21:47,476 --> 00:21:49,203
Yeah.
457
00:21:49,272 --> 00:21:51,038
You need some help.
458
00:21:51,395 --> 00:21:52,740
I know.
459
00:22:25,609 --> 00:22:27,182
Hey, um...
460
00:22:27,264 --> 00:22:29,122
Just got off the phone with my father.
461
00:22:29,185 --> 00:22:30,752
Sure gave it to old Ronny.
462
00:22:30,826 --> 00:22:32,757
First, I jabbed him about his illiteracy
463
00:22:32,794 --> 00:22:35,472
and then his pulmonary
oxygen absorption rate.
464
00:22:35,507 --> 00:22:36,672
Jimmy, your dad died.
465
00:22:36,707 --> 00:22:38,574
Yeah, when I heckled him so hard.
466
00:22:38,609 --> 00:22:41,215
This came in the mail. I'm so sorry!
467
00:22:43,389 --> 00:22:45,468
_
468
00:23:07,599 --> 00:23:08,953
I'm just gonna...