1 00:00:00,324 --> 00:00:01,626 Man, 2 00:00:02,179 --> 00:00:03,715 sorry, I was so rough. 3 00:00:03,814 --> 00:00:06,750 I ate vegetables the other day that really amped me up. 4 00:00:06,850 --> 00:00:08,486 Devin brought home this like green leafy thing, 5 00:00:08,585 --> 00:00:10,987 and I was just like, "Uh-huh, never again." 6 00:00:11,088 --> 00:00:12,823 That's the great thing about being an adult. 7 00:00:12,923 --> 00:00:13,992 You can do whatever you want. 8 00:00:14,091 --> 00:00:16,327 Yeah. 9 00:00:16,428 --> 00:00:18,597 Yeah. 10 00:00:18,696 --> 00:00:21,298 If you come over tomorrow, can you bring some ketchup? 11 00:00:21,399 --> 00:00:22,067 Mwah. 12 00:00:22,166 --> 00:00:23,300 No, sorry. 13 00:00:23,402 --> 00:00:25,402 Devin and I are throwing this like '90's party. 14 00:00:25,503 --> 00:00:27,372 Everyone's coming as like a '90's character. 15 00:00:27,472 --> 00:00:29,207 Veronica's gonna be Rachel from "Friends." 16 00:00:29,307 --> 00:00:31,576 Mm, maybe I'll come by or whatever. 17 00:00:31,676 --> 00:00:34,344 Did you just say you wanted to come? 18 00:00:34,445 --> 00:00:35,780 Yeah. It sounds dope. 19 00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:37,916 Oh, wow, really? 20 00:00:38,015 --> 00:00:40,317 Cool. Oh, that's really cool. 21 00:00:40,417 --> 00:00:42,286 I guess I could just, you know, 22 00:00:42,387 --> 00:00:45,456 text you my address or like whatever. 23 00:00:45,555 --> 00:00:48,225 Now is it cool if I like don't wear a costume? 24 00:00:48,326 --> 00:00:49,561 I mean, everyone else will be wearing one... 25 00:00:49,661 --> 00:00:51,295 Thanks, babe. 26 00:00:52,997 --> 00:00:54,298 ♪ Derrick is coming to my party ♪ 27 00:00:54,399 --> 00:00:55,667 ♪ Coming to my party ♪ 28 00:00:55,766 --> 00:00:57,867 ♪ Coming to my party with his big old dick ♪ 29 00:00:57,968 --> 00:01:00,070 ♪ Big old dick, big old dick ♪ 30 00:01:00,171 --> 00:01:02,974 ♪ Big old dick like a baseball bat ♪♪ 31 00:01:03,073 --> 00:01:07,220 Synced and corrected by MasterCookie - www.addic7ed.com - 32 00:01:11,615 --> 00:01:13,584 Ooh, check out this cute guy I matched with on Tinder. 33 00:01:13,683 --> 00:01:14,418 Let me see. 34 00:01:14,519 --> 00:01:17,487 Eeeeeh, uh, no, no, no way. 35 00:01:17,588 --> 00:01:18,789 Why not? 36 00:01:18,890 --> 00:01:20,325 I mean, look, it says he's a 29-year-old promoter 37 00:01:20,424 --> 00:01:21,725 who likes snowboarding. 38 00:01:21,825 --> 00:01:22,994 Yeah, so? 39 00:01:23,093 --> 00:01:25,262 Yeah, well, on Tinder, 29 means 40. 40 00:01:25,361 --> 00:01:26,963 Promoter means unemployed. 41 00:01:27,063 --> 00:01:28,231 And snowboarder? 42 00:01:28,332 --> 00:01:29,900 That means he's gonna try to put in your butt. 43 00:01:30,001 --> 00:01:30,968 How do you know that? 44 00:01:31,067 --> 00:01:31,902 Because I once had a snowboarder say, 45 00:01:32,003 --> 00:01:32,969 "Yo, what up, girl?" 46 00:01:33,069 --> 00:01:34,838 And, see, just slide right on in. 47 00:01:34,938 --> 00:01:37,308 I just got off the phone with my therapist, Dr. Sheila. 48 00:01:37,409 --> 00:01:38,710 - Hi, Devin. - Hi. 49 00:01:38,810 --> 00:01:40,644 Shut up. I have to do this. 50 00:01:40,745 --> 00:01:43,514 Nicole, you owe me $150 for the electric bill. 51 00:01:43,614 --> 00:01:44,749 And I've asked you four times. 52 00:01:44,849 --> 00:01:45,850 I need you to pay me. 53 00:01:45,950 --> 00:01:47,518 Oh no, how'd that happen? 54 00:01:47,617 --> 00:01:48,519 That's a lot. 55 00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:50,188 Listen, I got you tomorrow, Boo-boo. 56 00:01:50,287 --> 00:01:51,555 Come on, we should... No, Nicole. 57 00:01:51,656 --> 00:01:53,558 Not today, you've been telling me, 58 00:01:53,658 --> 00:01:56,159 "Oh, I'll get you tomorrow," for over 300 days. 59 00:01:56,260 --> 00:01:58,162 And it's starting to make me feel less than. 60 00:01:58,262 --> 00:01:59,729 Okay, all right, Devin. 61 00:01:59,830 --> 00:02:03,400 I just gotta say, this new confrontational you 62 00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:07,639 is so powerful and skinny. 63 00:02:07,739 --> 00:02:09,241 No, not today, Nicole. 64 00:02:10,540 --> 00:02:13,044 - Really? - Yeah, your waist so small. 65 00:02:13,144 --> 00:02:14,346 Oh, yeah. 66 00:02:14,445 --> 00:02:15,847 You're right, I feel it. 67 00:02:15,947 --> 00:02:16,980 It's like a little straw. 68 00:02:17,081 --> 00:02:18,581 Ooh, suck me up, I'm so tiny. 69 00:02:18,682 --> 00:02:21,185 Oh my goodness, you so tiny. 70 00:02:21,284 --> 00:02:22,586 Oh no, where do you go? 71 00:02:22,687 --> 00:02:24,455 I could just slip into a crack. 72 00:02:24,555 --> 00:02:25,824 Oh, you just went through a crack. 73 00:02:25,924 --> 00:02:26,758 Ooh, where did I go? 74 00:02:26,858 --> 00:02:27,759 Where am I? 75 00:02:27,859 --> 00:02:30,028 No, no, Devin, don't fall for this. 76 00:02:30,127 --> 00:02:31,228 If anything, you're getting bigger. 77 00:02:31,329 --> 00:02:32,430 You're getting like lady hips. 78 00:02:32,530 --> 00:02:35,233 My dad was very hippy, okay? 79 00:02:35,332 --> 00:02:36,834 Nicole, I need that 150. 80 00:02:36,933 --> 00:02:37,869 I can't keep covering for you. 81 00:02:37,968 --> 00:02:39,137 I don't have any money. 82 00:02:39,236 --> 00:02:40,870 I literally have five dollars to my name. 83 00:02:40,972 --> 00:02:42,740 Didn't you just spend like $1,200 on a wig 84 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:43,942 at Ebony Crowns last week? 85 00:02:44,042 --> 00:02:45,242 Yes! 86 00:02:45,342 --> 00:02:48,078 That's why I don't have any money. 87 00:02:48,179 --> 00:02:49,447 But I will pay you back. 88 00:02:49,546 --> 00:02:52,082 Listen, this is all a part of the journey. 89 00:02:52,182 --> 00:02:53,251 We're all out here in these streets 90 00:02:53,350 --> 00:02:54,651 struggling for my dream. 91 00:02:54,752 --> 00:02:55,687 Fine. 92 00:02:55,787 --> 00:02:57,222 I guess I'll cover for you yet again. 93 00:02:57,322 --> 00:02:58,622 Thank you. 94 00:02:58,723 --> 00:03:00,358 Honestly, this has been a very stressful morning for me. 95 00:03:00,457 --> 00:03:01,959 And I think I have more than earned some fro-yo. 96 00:03:02,060 --> 00:03:03,093 You did. 97 00:03:03,193 --> 00:03:04,394 I'm gonna get an [unintelligible]. 98 00:03:04,495 --> 00:03:06,631 Oh, dang, girl, get them berries. 99 00:03:06,730 --> 00:03:07,698 Bye. 100 00:03:07,798 --> 00:03:08,699 Bye. 101 00:03:08,800 --> 00:03:09,801 Man, I was really looking forward 102 00:03:09,901 --> 00:03:11,402 to going to my first African hair salon. 103 00:03:11,502 --> 00:03:13,138 Oh, no, we are going. 104 00:03:13,237 --> 00:03:14,504 I'm getting my hair braided. 105 00:03:14,604 --> 00:03:17,375 I'm going as Janet Jackson from "Poetic Justice." 106 00:03:17,474 --> 00:03:18,876 Yeah, but you don't have any money. 107 00:03:18,975 --> 00:03:20,176 I have hair-braiding money. 108 00:03:20,277 --> 00:03:22,045 I don't have bill-paying money. 109 00:03:22,145 --> 00:03:23,180 This isn't complicated. 110 00:03:23,281 --> 00:03:24,481 Didn't you go to college? 111 00:03:24,581 --> 00:03:27,084 Yeah, but we didn't study nonsense economics. 112 00:03:27,183 --> 00:03:27,985 Hey now. 113 00:03:28,086 --> 00:03:29,487 Oh, yeah. 114 00:03:29,586 --> 00:03:31,421 He asked if I would put it in my butt. 115 00:03:31,521 --> 00:03:33,156 You should do it. 116 00:03:33,257 --> 00:03:34,592 Listen, Oprah says, 117 00:03:34,692 --> 00:03:36,961 "You gotta open yourself to new experiences." 118 00:03:37,061 --> 00:03:39,164 I know she wasn't specifically talking about buttholes, 119 00:03:39,264 --> 00:03:40,966 but like... get in there. 120 00:03:42,432 --> 00:03:44,134 Again, from the top. 121 00:03:44,235 --> 00:03:45,770 Welcome to the Hollywood Shame Bus. 122 00:03:45,870 --> 00:03:47,170 I'm your guide, Chace. 123 00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:49,239 To your left, you'll see the lot where a bald Britney Spears 124 00:03:49,340 --> 00:03:50,908 attacked her car with an umbrella. 125 00:03:51,008 --> 00:03:53,811 Okay. We're getting somewhere, I guess. Yeah. 126 00:03:53,912 --> 00:03:56,480 Imagine you're one of our clients, Chace. 127 00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:58,215 You're from some Midwestern hellhole. 128 00:03:58,316 --> 00:03:59,317 Where are you from again? 129 00:03:59,417 --> 00:04:00,485 Royal Okay, Michigan. 130 00:04:00,585 --> 00:04:01,652 Yes, that's perfect. 131 00:04:01,752 --> 00:04:02,487 That hellhole. 132 00:04:02,586 --> 00:04:04,254 Okay, so you're on this bus. 133 00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:05,955 This is your one chance to feel better 134 00:04:06,056 --> 00:04:08,693 than a rich celebrity who got caught slippin'. 135 00:04:08,792 --> 00:04:11,162 This is very important work, Chace. 136 00:04:11,261 --> 00:04:12,829 Wow, that's so deep. 137 00:04:12,929 --> 00:04:14,164 And very seasoned. 138 00:04:14,265 --> 00:04:16,768 What's the name of the hooker Hugh Grant picked up? 139 00:04:16,868 --> 00:04:18,236 Dawn Brown? 140 00:04:18,335 --> 00:04:21,338 It's Divine Brown, you maroon. 141 00:04:21,438 --> 00:04:23,140 And I honestly don't have the time or the energy 142 00:04:23,241 --> 00:04:24,976 to deal with you right now. 143 00:04:25,075 --> 00:04:26,410 - Are you okay? - No, I'm not! 144 00:04:26,510 --> 00:04:28,246 I'm planning a '90's party all by myself. 145 00:04:28,345 --> 00:04:31,215 And my plantar fasciitis is flaring up! 146 00:04:31,316 --> 00:04:33,784 Wow, your life is like a movie. 147 00:04:35,553 --> 00:04:36,621 Think I could come to your party? 148 00:04:36,720 --> 00:04:38,254 I don't know many people in L.A. yet, 149 00:04:38,356 --> 00:04:39,856 and this could be like a great opportunity... 150 00:04:39,957 --> 00:04:40,692 Ssssh, stop, no. 151 00:04:40,792 --> 00:04:42,359 You know Professional Devin. 152 00:04:42,460 --> 00:04:44,227 You're not ready to meet Party Devin. 153 00:04:44,328 --> 00:04:45,363 It's too much. 154 00:04:45,462 --> 00:04:46,864 That's too much for you. 155 00:04:46,964 --> 00:04:50,268 Honestly, sometimes, it's too much for me. 156 00:04:50,368 --> 00:04:51,602 So I can't come? 157 00:04:51,702 --> 00:04:53,838 It's probably best that you don't. 158 00:04:53,938 --> 00:04:55,673 Hollywood Shame Bus. 159 00:04:55,772 --> 00:04:57,073 See? 160 00:04:57,174 --> 00:04:58,109 Very seasoned. 161 00:04:58,208 --> 00:04:59,509 That was amazing. 162 00:04:59,609 --> 00:05:00,977 Derrick's coming to the party? 163 00:05:01,078 --> 00:05:01,979 Dressed as what? 164 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:02,979 A short text message? 165 00:05:03,080 --> 00:05:04,282 Be happy for me. 166 00:05:04,381 --> 00:05:05,682 We've been doing it for a long time, 167 00:05:05,782 --> 00:05:07,283 and he hasn't been to my place yet. 168 00:05:07,385 --> 00:05:09,820 Oh. That is kinda a big deal. 169 00:05:09,919 --> 00:05:11,254 Tell me about it. 170 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,890 ♪ I'm having home sex ♪ 171 00:05:12,989 --> 00:05:14,591 ♪ Sex in my own bed ♪ 172 00:05:14,691 --> 00:05:16,292 ♪ I'm gonna good use the good vibrator ♪ 173 00:05:16,393 --> 00:05:17,861 ♪ The one that plugs in ♪♪ 174 00:05:17,962 --> 00:05:19,030 Oooh, oooh. 175 00:05:19,130 --> 00:05:21,265 Okay. 176 00:05:21,364 --> 00:05:23,299 Is this it? 177 00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:24,902 One hundred perfect human hair. 178 00:05:25,003 --> 00:05:25,703 Where do they get it? 179 00:05:25,803 --> 00:05:27,238 - We don't ask. - Oh. 180 00:05:27,337 --> 00:05:30,607 All right, so when we get in there, you watch, no talking. 181 00:05:30,707 --> 00:05:32,042 Why? 182 00:05:32,142 --> 00:05:33,111 Because this isn't the kind of place that puts the prices 183 00:05:33,210 --> 00:05:34,645 on the wall. 184 00:05:34,744 --> 00:05:36,480 They charge you based on how much money they think you have, 185 00:05:36,580 --> 00:05:38,414 which is why I try to look as poor as possible 186 00:05:38,515 --> 00:05:39,517 to get a good deal. 187 00:05:39,616 --> 00:05:41,119 But you are poor. 188 00:05:41,219 --> 00:05:43,687 Yeah, but I don't present as poor. 189 00:05:43,787 --> 00:05:45,021 Hold this. 190 00:05:45,121 --> 00:05:47,292 Okay, you're not gonna be proud of what happens next. 191 00:05:47,392 --> 00:05:49,627 I know I'm setting my people back. 192 00:05:49,727 --> 00:05:53,965 Just know it kills me inside, but it is necessary. 193 00:05:54,065 --> 00:05:54,966 Okay. 194 00:05:55,066 --> 00:05:56,866 All right, let's do this. 195 00:05:56,967 --> 00:05:58,902 ♪ 196 00:06:03,306 --> 00:06:04,508 I need box braids. 197 00:06:04,609 --> 00:06:06,876 How much you all do 'em for? 198 00:06:06,977 --> 00:06:09,313 How much you wannna pay, sista? 199 00:06:09,412 --> 00:06:10,547 A hundred. 200 00:06:10,647 --> 00:06:12,383 Hundred dollars is too low. Two fifty. 201 00:06:12,484 --> 00:06:14,219 Who do I look like? Beyoncé? 202 00:06:14,318 --> 00:06:15,551 I ain't got two "fiddy." 203 00:06:15,652 --> 00:06:17,255 Two fifty is what it is. 204 00:06:17,354 --> 00:06:18,955 Mm, okay. 205 00:06:19,056 --> 00:06:20,925 Go on, you tell my kids 206 00:06:21,025 --> 00:06:23,995 they ain't getting Pampers this month. 207 00:06:24,094 --> 00:06:25,563 Two hundred, lowest price. 208 00:06:25,662 --> 00:06:28,365 My sister Neesha got them here for a hundred. 209 00:06:28,465 --> 00:06:29,900 That's what I'm paying. 210 00:06:30,001 --> 00:06:31,001 One fifty. 211 00:06:31,102 --> 00:06:33,003 Mm, okay. I'm gonna go to the library. 212 00:06:33,104 --> 00:06:34,337 Mm-hmm. 213 00:06:34,438 --> 00:06:36,940 I'm gonna hop on Yelp, I'm gonna give you half a star. 214 00:06:37,041 --> 00:06:39,476 And I'm gonna say you all ripped out my edges. 215 00:06:39,575 --> 00:06:41,945 That is ice cold. 216 00:06:42,046 --> 00:06:43,915 But I respect that, 100. 217 00:06:45,181 --> 00:06:46,082 Now who is this white lady? 218 00:06:46,183 --> 00:06:47,284 - Oh, she... - Uh-huh. 219 00:06:47,385 --> 00:06:48,652 Let her answer. 220 00:06:48,751 --> 00:06:51,321 ♪ 221 00:06:51,421 --> 00:06:53,390 I'm from NPR. 222 00:06:53,489 --> 00:06:55,359 I'm doing a piece on the beauty culture 223 00:06:55,458 --> 00:06:57,929 of working class women. 224 00:06:58,029 --> 00:07:02,032 Promote me on this show, I'll do your nail 50% off. 225 00:07:02,131 --> 00:07:03,233 Deal. 226 00:07:03,333 --> 00:07:05,134 I love Ira Glass. 227 00:07:05,234 --> 00:07:07,638 ♪ 228 00:07:09,006 --> 00:07:12,675 Have you ever thought of a Senegalese podcast on NPR? 229 00:07:12,777 --> 00:07:14,445 I don't really make programming decisions. 230 00:07:14,546 --> 00:07:16,614 In my country, I was Minister of Programming. 231 00:07:16,714 --> 00:07:19,350 I had a morning show, [speaking foreign language]. 232 00:07:19,450 --> 00:07:20,385 Oh, what's that mean? 233 00:07:20,484 --> 00:07:21,852 What's up, Senegal? 234 00:07:21,953 --> 00:07:24,554 Hey, hey, hey, good day, ladies. 235 00:07:24,655 --> 00:07:27,056 I got earrings, I got socks. 236 00:07:27,157 --> 00:07:29,394 I got mace for their face. 237 00:07:29,494 --> 00:07:33,297 Ladies, I got mace for their face. 238 00:07:33,397 --> 00:07:34,698 Yo, hustle man! 239 00:07:37,368 --> 00:07:40,138 Oh, well, this looks handy. 240 00:07:40,238 --> 00:07:42,039 Twenty-five dollars. 241 00:07:42,138 --> 00:07:43,873 Um... 242 00:07:43,974 --> 00:07:45,176 I only have ten. 243 00:07:45,275 --> 00:07:46,576 Deal! 244 00:07:46,676 --> 00:07:48,078 Yo, what you got in there? I'm hungry. 245 00:07:48,179 --> 00:07:53,383 Oh, oh, I got Soul Food, Mexican, Thai food, sushi. 246 00:07:53,484 --> 00:07:54,685 In the bag? 247 00:07:54,784 --> 00:07:56,587 You've trash bag sushi? 248 00:07:56,686 --> 00:07:58,688 His bacon-wrapped dates, very good. 249 00:07:58,789 --> 00:07:59,990 Oh yeah, give me some of that. 250 00:08:00,090 --> 00:08:02,159 Nicole, don't eat food out of a trash bag. 251 00:08:02,258 --> 00:08:03,794 Those look delicious. 252 00:08:03,893 --> 00:08:05,062 Ooh, these look good. 253 00:08:05,162 --> 00:08:07,263 I'm gonna take a selfie. 254 00:08:07,364 --> 00:08:09,032 Oooh, yes. 255 00:08:11,736 --> 00:08:13,671 That little bitch. 256 00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:15,872 Hey, I think you're ready to handle the tour on your own. 257 00:08:15,972 --> 00:08:17,106 What? 258 00:08:17,207 --> 00:08:17,942 Yeah, I'm throwing the baby into the deep end. 259 00:08:18,042 --> 00:08:18,809 It's the best way to learn. 260 00:08:18,909 --> 00:08:20,645 Will you clock me out at 6? 261 00:08:20,744 --> 00:08:22,813 If I do that, can I come to your party? 262 00:08:22,913 --> 00:08:25,682 Fine, '90's themed, costume mandatory. 263 00:08:25,782 --> 00:08:28,619 Do not be Austin Powers. 264 00:08:28,719 --> 00:08:30,421 I'm gonna go kill my roommate. 265 00:08:30,521 --> 00:08:32,623 ♪ 266 00:08:35,593 --> 00:08:37,594 Hollywood Shame Bus. 267 00:08:37,694 --> 00:08:39,830 Hollywood Shame Bus! 268 00:08:40,208 --> 00:08:41,643 Uh-oh. 269 00:08:42,769 --> 00:08:44,571 No, I know that body. 270 00:08:44,671 --> 00:08:45,473 I know that's you, Nicole. 271 00:08:45,572 --> 00:08:46,539 Turn around. 272 00:08:46,639 --> 00:08:49,242 Oh, Devin, is that you? 273 00:08:49,343 --> 00:08:50,511 You look mad skinny. 274 00:08:50,610 --> 00:08:51,511 Where's my money? 275 00:08:51,611 --> 00:08:52,879 You are all right, sista? 276 00:08:52,980 --> 00:08:54,047 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's fine. 277 00:08:54,148 --> 00:08:56,149 Just give us a second. That's my baby daddy. 278 00:08:56,249 --> 00:08:57,417 Look, you lied to me. 279 00:08:57,518 --> 00:08:58,819 You said you had no money for the electricity bills, 280 00:08:58,918 --> 00:09:00,888 but you have money for braids and bacon-wrapped dates? 281 00:09:00,989 --> 00:09:03,923 Oh my God, you have the impulse control of a baby. 282 00:09:04,023 --> 00:09:05,225 You say you wanna buy baby? 283 00:09:05,326 --> 00:09:06,159 What the hell? 284 00:09:06,259 --> 00:09:07,995 Oh, no, no, no. Just kidding. 285 00:09:08,095 --> 00:09:09,730 Listen, the money is already gone. 286 00:09:09,830 --> 00:09:10,797 What do you want me to do? 287 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:13,500 Fine, you'll reap what you sow. 288 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:15,735 Honestly, my apologies to the entire shop. 289 00:09:15,835 --> 00:09:17,638 It's a very lovely place, it's divine. 290 00:09:17,738 --> 00:09:20,208 Sorry for bringing in my negative energy. 291 00:09:20,307 --> 00:09:21,141 You're a bitch. 292 00:09:21,241 --> 00:09:22,742 Uh! You rude! 293 00:09:22,843 --> 00:09:23,878 Run. 294 00:09:25,912 --> 00:09:27,580 How much are box braids? Two fifty. 295 00:09:27,681 --> 00:09:28,681 Can you pencil me in? 296 00:09:28,782 --> 00:09:30,584 - Done. - Get! 297 00:09:30,683 --> 00:09:34,321 ♪ 298 00:09:34,422 --> 00:09:35,489 You learn quick. 299 00:09:35,589 --> 00:09:37,624 I get it. I get how braids are done. 300 00:09:37,725 --> 00:09:38,725 You sound like you just unlocked 301 00:09:38,826 --> 00:09:40,360 the mysteries of the universe, girl. 302 00:09:40,460 --> 00:09:42,596 Also, what are you wearing? 303 00:09:42,696 --> 00:09:44,431 I'm doing an immersive experience. 304 00:09:44,532 --> 00:09:45,766 But don't tell anyone about this. 305 00:09:45,865 --> 00:09:48,001 Outside of here, it's 100% for sure not okay. 306 00:09:48,101 --> 00:09:49,302 Okay. 307 00:09:49,403 --> 00:09:51,772 Man, you're gonna be the perfect "Poetic Justice," 308 00:09:51,872 --> 00:09:53,141 and I'm gonna look like crap. 309 00:09:53,240 --> 00:09:54,374 Why? 310 00:09:54,475 --> 00:09:55,643 Well, I tried on my Rachel wig, and all my hair 311 00:09:55,743 --> 00:09:57,278 stuffed underneath makes this like weird lump. 312 00:09:57,378 --> 00:09:58,479 The Rachel from "Friends"? 313 00:09:58,579 --> 00:09:59,647 Mm-hmm. 314 00:09:59,747 --> 00:10:00,981 Ah, the sister can do for you. 315 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:02,548 No, I don't wanna cut my hair. 316 00:10:02,648 --> 00:10:03,951 It took me like two months to grow out. 317 00:10:04,051 --> 00:10:07,687 Simple. We can do without cutting your hair. 318 00:10:07,787 --> 00:10:08,955 Black hair magic is real. 319 00:10:09,056 --> 00:10:11,825 Come, I give you for 100. 320 00:10:11,925 --> 00:10:14,460 Fifty. 321 00:10:14,561 --> 00:10:15,797 A hundred, yes, I'm so sorry. 322 00:10:15,897 --> 00:10:18,833 Yes, a hundred, let's do it. 323 00:10:18,932 --> 00:10:21,568 Um, what are you doing here, Chace? 324 00:10:21,668 --> 00:10:23,638 I punched you out, nobody noticed. 325 00:10:23,738 --> 00:10:24,872 I thought you'd wanna know. 326 00:10:24,971 --> 00:10:26,539 Okay, yeah, why didn't you just like text me? 327 00:10:26,639 --> 00:10:27,607 You didn't give me your number. 328 00:10:27,707 --> 00:10:28,842 Yeah, that was smart. 329 00:10:28,942 --> 00:10:31,446 I found your address in the employee roster. 330 00:10:31,546 --> 00:10:34,148 Okay. Cool, creepy. 331 00:10:34,248 --> 00:10:36,150 The party's at 10. See ya then. 332 00:10:36,249 --> 00:10:38,251 Wait, do you guys need help setting up or anything? 333 00:10:38,351 --> 00:10:39,486 I even brought a costume. 334 00:10:42,223 --> 00:10:42,924 I'm Marky Mark. 335 00:10:43,023 --> 00:10:44,725 ♪ Come on, come on ♪ 336 00:10:44,825 --> 00:10:46,160 Hey, get the party started, everybody! 337 00:10:46,259 --> 00:10:48,261 Marky's not even a chara... come in. 338 00:10:48,361 --> 00:10:49,496 Just come in. Yeah. 339 00:10:49,596 --> 00:10:50,696 Oh, this place is awesome. 340 00:10:50,797 --> 00:10:52,199 - Yeah, yeah. - Whoa! 341 00:10:52,300 --> 00:10:54,102 Yeah, I like that you're in here now. 342 00:10:55,768 --> 00:10:57,672 You look like a monk with titties. 343 00:10:57,772 --> 00:10:59,340 This is gonna look better, right? 344 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:01,108 Like does it just need time to settle or... 345 00:11:01,207 --> 00:11:02,542 Don't worry, [unintelligible]. 346 00:11:02,643 --> 00:11:03,710 We do good for you. 347 00:11:03,811 --> 00:11:06,213 Now... take a look at my demo tape. 348 00:11:06,312 --> 00:11:09,549 It is fate you came into this store today. 349 00:11:09,649 --> 00:11:11,250 Fate's a strong word. 350 00:11:11,350 --> 00:11:12,686 Working in radio, 351 00:11:12,786 --> 00:11:15,957 this is the American dream I came for. 352 00:11:19,393 --> 00:11:20,862 Nagosee, I have to tell you something. 353 00:11:20,961 --> 00:11:23,563 - Noooo. - Yeah. 354 00:11:23,663 --> 00:11:24,898 - Don't. - I have to. 355 00:11:24,999 --> 00:11:26,399 - You don't have to. - Yes, I do. 356 00:11:26,499 --> 00:11:28,434 No, you don't. 357 00:11:28,534 --> 00:11:31,105 I don't work for NPR. 358 00:11:31,205 --> 00:11:32,273 Oh, shit! 359 00:11:32,373 --> 00:11:33,706 This bitch lied to me! 360 00:11:33,806 --> 00:11:35,109 Do not finish her hair. 361 00:11:35,209 --> 00:11:36,643 And give me 200. 362 00:11:36,744 --> 00:11:37,711 But you're not done. 363 00:11:37,811 --> 00:11:38,678 I can't leave like this. 364 00:11:38,778 --> 00:11:40,447 Two hundred now, then go! 365 00:11:44,884 --> 00:11:46,653 Thunder, fire. 366 00:11:46,753 --> 00:11:48,321 May God punish you! 367 00:11:48,422 --> 00:11:49,822 Well, I would still love to listen to this 368 00:11:49,922 --> 00:11:50,892 and give you notes. 369 00:11:50,991 --> 00:11:51,991 Give me that! 370 00:11:52,091 --> 00:11:53,494 Oh, and I shouldn't have put this on. 371 00:11:53,594 --> 00:11:55,196 - I'm sorry. - Keep it. Get out! 372 00:11:55,296 --> 00:11:56,730 No, I cannot go outside like this. 373 00:11:56,830 --> 00:11:58,264 Face the public, leave. 374 00:11:58,364 --> 00:12:00,267 Okay, okay. 375 00:12:00,366 --> 00:12:02,435 What am I gonna do about this hair? 376 00:12:02,536 --> 00:12:04,739 Is there an episode of "Friends" where Rachel wears a hat? 377 00:12:04,839 --> 00:12:06,574 No, that's stupid, of course there's not. 378 00:12:06,673 --> 00:12:08,074 Uh, my costume is ruined. 379 00:12:08,176 --> 00:12:10,009 Listen, I can help you take it out tomorrow. 380 00:12:10,109 --> 00:12:11,577 But it's gonna take like three hours. 381 00:12:11,677 --> 00:12:13,346 Three hours? 382 00:12:13,446 --> 00:12:14,748 That's a whole "Titanic." 383 00:12:14,848 --> 00:12:15,950 Sorry about it. 384 00:12:16,050 --> 00:12:17,618 Oh, my phone's ringing. Who is it? 385 00:12:17,718 --> 00:12:18,586 It's Derrick. 386 00:12:18,686 --> 00:12:19,487 Ooh, must be important. 387 00:12:19,586 --> 00:12:20,821 Put him on speakerphone. 388 00:12:20,921 --> 00:12:22,489 Hi, Derrick. 389 00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:24,557 ♪ I look really cute right now ♪ 390 00:12:24,657 --> 00:12:26,927 Hey, so I'm gonna wear a costume to your thing. 391 00:12:27,027 --> 00:12:28,362 I remembered I have this hat. 392 00:12:28,461 --> 00:12:29,763 Oh, like a funny hat? 393 00:12:29,863 --> 00:12:31,832 - Or a... - It's a Yankees' hat. 394 00:12:31,931 --> 00:12:34,234 I'm gonna be a dude wearing a hat in the '90s. 395 00:12:34,335 --> 00:12:35,369 Great, Derrick. 396 00:12:35,469 --> 00:12:37,839 Really looking forward to seeing that hat. 397 00:12:39,940 --> 00:12:43,176 I mean, he's trying. 398 00:12:43,276 --> 00:12:44,579 ♪ 399 00:12:46,113 --> 00:12:47,448 ♪ Let me tell y'all ♪ 400 00:12:47,547 --> 00:12:49,350 Hi, my angels. 401 00:12:49,450 --> 00:12:51,085 Blessings to you both. 402 00:12:51,185 --> 00:12:54,722 Who's that beautiful Nubian princess? 403 00:12:54,821 --> 00:12:57,157 It's me! It's Nicole! 404 00:12:58,959 --> 00:13:00,794 I am so happy that this happened to you, 405 00:13:00,893 --> 00:13:01,794 I won't say a word. 406 00:13:01,894 --> 00:13:03,330 Thlf! Who's that? 407 00:13:03,431 --> 00:13:04,331 That's Chace. 408 00:13:04,431 --> 00:13:05,666 I'm his party bitch. 409 00:13:05,765 --> 00:13:07,033 He asked to be called that. 410 00:13:07,133 --> 00:13:08,000 You're in a good mood. 411 00:13:08,100 --> 00:13:09,202 Why wouldn't I be? 412 00:13:09,302 --> 00:13:10,871 Everything worked out perfectly. 413 00:13:10,971 --> 00:13:13,539 And Dr. Sheila would be very proud. 414 00:13:13,639 --> 00:13:14,874 Through my agency and action, 415 00:13:14,975 --> 00:13:17,210 I was able to manifest some extra cash. 416 00:13:17,311 --> 00:13:18,278 How? 417 00:13:18,378 --> 00:13:19,613 Oh, I just sold one of Nicole's wigs. 418 00:13:20,914 --> 00:13:22,148 Sorry, this needle's sensitive. 419 00:13:22,249 --> 00:13:24,118 I think I scratched your Jamiroquai record. 420 00:13:24,218 --> 00:13:27,754 - You sold my wig? - Mm-hmm. 421 00:13:27,854 --> 00:13:29,823 - I'm gonna go. - No! 422 00:13:29,922 --> 00:13:31,691 You stay where you are. 423 00:13:31,792 --> 00:13:36,030 Devin, you tell me which wig you took and where you took it? 424 00:13:36,129 --> 00:13:37,465 Well, it wasn't Rhi-yonce, if that's 425 00:13:37,565 --> 00:13:39,267 what you're worried about, because I'm not a monster. 426 00:13:39,366 --> 00:13:40,066 It was Sea-lange. 427 00:13:40,167 --> 00:13:41,868 - Ohhh! - Oh, please! 428 00:13:41,968 --> 00:13:43,370 We both know that that's your worst wig. 429 00:13:43,470 --> 00:13:45,306 You know I love all my babies equally. 430 00:13:45,406 --> 00:13:46,340 Wait. I'm sorry. 431 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:48,742 There's a place that buys used wigs? 432 00:13:48,841 --> 00:13:51,111 ♪ 433 00:13:52,580 --> 00:13:53,513 Can I help you? 434 00:13:53,614 --> 00:13:55,282 Yes. You've received stolen property. 435 00:13:55,382 --> 00:13:57,284 I'm here to take it off your hands. 436 00:13:57,383 --> 00:13:59,854 I see no need to involve the authorities. 437 00:13:59,954 --> 00:14:01,855 I have no idea what you're talking about. 438 00:14:01,955 --> 00:14:04,523 Okay. Well, that wig... that wig right there, 439 00:14:04,624 --> 00:14:05,893 that Sea-lange wig, 440 00:14:05,993 --> 00:14:09,229 the model X3415 that only comes in black. 441 00:14:09,329 --> 00:14:11,799 But it's clearly honey brown, because I dyed it. 442 00:14:11,898 --> 00:14:13,100 I would like my wig back. 443 00:14:13,200 --> 00:14:14,167 That's not your wig. 444 00:14:14,268 --> 00:14:16,070 It's a brand-new wig from New Zealand. 445 00:14:16,170 --> 00:14:17,337 Okay, if you could just take it out of the case, 446 00:14:17,436 --> 00:14:19,071 I can show you where I wrote my name on the tag. 447 00:14:19,172 --> 00:14:20,874 I will take it out of the case if you buy it. 448 00:14:20,974 --> 00:14:22,542 Fine. I'll call the police. 449 00:14:22,643 --> 00:14:23,542 Go ahead. 450 00:14:23,643 --> 00:14:25,479 My husband is the captain. 451 00:14:25,579 --> 00:14:28,582 Uh, you've got a very beautiful man. 452 00:14:28,681 --> 00:14:29,917 Negotiate, do you thing. 453 00:14:30,017 --> 00:14:31,451 Veronica, everybody knows 454 00:14:31,552 --> 00:14:33,653 you can't negotiate with a wig lady. 455 00:14:34,821 --> 00:14:35,690 Thank you. 456 00:14:46,267 --> 00:14:48,502 Okay, is this glass reinforced? 457 00:14:48,601 --> 00:14:49,769 Because in my head, I thought I was lady 458 00:14:49,869 --> 00:14:50,870 who would jump over a counter. 459 00:14:50,970 --> 00:14:51,938 But now that I'm trying to do it, 460 00:14:52,038 --> 00:14:54,840 I don't think that I am. You know what? 461 00:14:54,941 --> 00:14:56,810 Mmm. 462 00:14:56,909 --> 00:14:58,211 I'm gonna leave here with some dignity. 463 00:15:02,548 --> 00:15:05,052 You don't by any chance have like a men's toupee that could... 464 00:15:05,152 --> 00:15:06,552 Get out of my shop. 465 00:15:06,653 --> 00:15:08,254 I don't want anyone thinking you got that here. 466 00:15:08,355 --> 00:15:10,157 Oh, I'm telling everyone I got this here. 467 00:15:12,405 --> 00:15:14,307 Come on, napkins in a pile, Chace? 468 00:15:14,406 --> 00:15:15,440 Unbelievable. 469 00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,743 Look, you wanna fan them out, okay? 470 00:15:17,843 --> 00:15:19,478 Whoo. 471 00:15:19,578 --> 00:15:22,280 This is Van Nuys, not Panorama City. 472 00:15:22,381 --> 00:15:23,583 I'm really sorry. 473 00:15:23,683 --> 00:15:25,585 It's okay. Just go set up Cranium. 474 00:15:28,654 --> 00:15:30,689 Mm. Let me guess. 475 00:15:30,790 --> 00:15:32,057 They didn't give you your wig back. 476 00:15:32,157 --> 00:15:33,793 No, but it was my fault. 477 00:15:33,893 --> 00:15:34,994 Look, I'm just happy you realized 478 00:15:35,094 --> 00:15:38,132 what I did was very harsh but also very necessary. 479 00:15:38,232 --> 00:15:39,266 I see that now. 480 00:15:39,366 --> 00:15:41,035 My actions have consequences. 481 00:15:41,134 --> 00:15:42,502 I've been irresponsible. 482 00:15:42,603 --> 00:15:44,372 And I've taken advantage of our friendship. 483 00:15:44,472 --> 00:15:46,139 I welcome you back into my life. 484 00:15:46,238 --> 00:15:48,008 Oh. 485 00:15:48,108 --> 00:15:49,475 - Mm. - Mm. 486 00:15:49,575 --> 00:15:51,144 Man, I was really hoping this was gonna destroy 487 00:15:51,244 --> 00:15:52,245 your relationship. 488 00:15:52,345 --> 00:15:53,279 Veronica? 489 00:15:53,379 --> 00:15:54,547 I was. 490 00:15:54,647 --> 00:15:56,182 Hey, Devin, do you need anything for the party? 491 00:15:56,282 --> 00:15:57,283 Yeah, we could use some more ice. 492 00:15:57,383 --> 00:15:58,318 Do you want some money? 493 00:15:58,419 --> 00:16:00,287 - No, Veronica will pay. - What? 494 00:16:00,387 --> 00:16:02,022 You're the one with a job. 495 00:16:02,122 --> 00:16:03,957 Ooh, can I borrow your car? My trunk won't open. 496 00:16:04,056 --> 00:16:05,725 Oh, yeah. 497 00:16:05,825 --> 00:16:07,426 Here you go. 498 00:16:07,526 --> 00:16:09,030 And here you go. 499 00:16:11,297 --> 00:16:14,233 Let's go get my baby back. 500 00:16:14,334 --> 00:16:15,235 The wig? 501 00:16:15,335 --> 00:16:17,903 Yes, God! 502 00:16:18,003 --> 00:16:19,606 Sorry. Just usually when you say baby, 503 00:16:19,706 --> 00:16:21,273 you're talking about your vibrator. 504 00:16:21,373 --> 00:16:23,142 ♪ 505 00:16:23,243 --> 00:16:24,176 Done. 506 00:16:24,277 --> 00:16:25,579 Okay. I guess that's perfect. 507 00:16:25,679 --> 00:16:27,281 Now go rub yourself down with some canola oil 508 00:16:27,381 --> 00:16:28,716 before the party starts. 509 00:16:31,017 --> 00:16:31,986 We're back. 510 00:16:32,085 --> 00:16:34,488 S-s-s-she's back! 511 00:16:34,588 --> 00:16:35,421 Where did you get that? 512 00:16:35,522 --> 00:16:36,522 I sold your car. 513 00:16:36,623 --> 00:16:37,858 But we also got ice. 514 00:16:37,958 --> 00:16:40,026 I should have known that no amount of punishing you 515 00:16:40,127 --> 00:16:41,060 would have ever helped. 516 00:16:41,161 --> 00:16:42,029 You're toxic. 517 00:16:42,128 --> 00:16:43,363 I'm toxic? 518 00:16:43,464 --> 00:16:45,332 You sold one of my wigs. 519 00:16:45,431 --> 00:16:46,700 You know how much they mean to me. 520 00:16:46,800 --> 00:16:48,368 That's like basically selling one of my kids. 521 00:16:48,468 --> 00:16:49,502 I had to pay the electric bill. 522 00:16:49,603 --> 00:16:51,171 Somebody here needs to be responsible. 523 00:16:51,271 --> 00:16:52,739 Oh, we were fine. 524 00:16:52,840 --> 00:16:53,941 They give you like three warnings 525 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:55,208 before they shut it off. 526 00:16:55,308 --> 00:16:56,375 Okay. You know what? I'm done. 527 00:16:56,476 --> 00:16:57,945 You're done? I'm done. 528 00:16:58,045 --> 00:17:00,014 This whole roommate thing, it's not working out. 529 00:17:00,113 --> 00:17:02,015 I just let you move in, 'cause I felt bad for you. 530 00:17:02,114 --> 00:17:03,115 Oh, you felt bad for me? 531 00:17:03,216 --> 00:17:04,318 I felt bad for you. 532 00:17:04,418 --> 00:17:05,452 Oooh. 533 00:17:05,552 --> 00:17:06,954 You felt bad for me? 534 00:17:07,054 --> 00:17:08,555 Well, fine, move out! 535 00:17:08,654 --> 00:17:09,690 I got my wig back. 536 00:17:09,789 --> 00:17:11,090 Here's the rest of your money. 537 00:17:11,190 --> 00:17:12,459 Okay, fine. 538 00:17:14,394 --> 00:17:16,162 Oh my God. 539 00:17:16,263 --> 00:17:17,698 This is like a thousand bones. 540 00:17:19,199 --> 00:17:21,000 My car was only worth like $478. 541 00:17:21,101 --> 00:17:22,334 How did you do this? 542 00:17:22,434 --> 00:17:24,070 I mean, once you've negotiated with Senegalese braiders, 543 00:17:24,171 --> 00:17:25,505 old white men are cake. 544 00:17:25,604 --> 00:17:28,508 This is enough money for me to lease that Hyundai Sonata. 545 00:17:28,609 --> 00:17:29,809 You beautiful psychopath. 546 00:17:29,910 --> 00:17:31,745 Mm, I can't live without you, 547 00:17:31,844 --> 00:17:34,213 my beautiful mess of a human being. 548 00:17:34,314 --> 00:17:35,815 Ahh! 549 00:17:35,915 --> 00:17:39,018 Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. 550 00:17:39,119 --> 00:17:40,987 Mwah, mwah, mwah, mwah. 551 00:17:45,225 --> 00:17:47,094 Oooh, I'm almost done. 552 00:17:47,193 --> 00:17:48,460 I'm almost done. 553 00:17:51,832 --> 00:17:53,667 - Oh, this one looks like you. - He looks like you. 554 00:17:53,767 --> 00:17:55,334 She looks like you. 555 00:17:55,434 --> 00:17:56,836 What the hell just happened? 556 00:17:56,937 --> 00:17:58,738 Oh, this? We just had roommate sex. 557 00:17:58,838 --> 00:18:00,607 You know he's gay. We can't bone. 558 00:18:00,708 --> 00:18:01,608 This is as close as we get. 559 00:18:01,708 --> 00:18:03,142 You're gay? 560 00:18:03,242 --> 00:18:05,010 That's pretty cool. 561 00:18:05,111 --> 00:18:06,112 It is pretty cool. 562 00:18:06,211 --> 00:18:07,882 ♪ 563 00:18:11,684 --> 00:18:14,854 ♪ At night, I think of you ♪ 564 00:18:14,955 --> 00:18:18,725 ♪ I want to be your lady, baby ♪ 565 00:18:18,825 --> 00:18:22,129 ♪ If your game is on, give me a call, boo ♪ 566 00:18:22,228 --> 00:18:25,865 ♪ If your lovin's strong, I give my all to you ♪ 567 00:18:25,966 --> 00:18:28,370 ♪ At night, I think of you ♪ 568 00:18:28,531 --> 00:18:29,898 I've always had a thing for Blossom. 569 00:18:31,199 --> 00:18:32,633 - Can I try on your hat? - No! 570 00:18:32,734 --> 00:18:34,869 Get out of here, get out of here! 571 00:18:34,970 --> 00:18:37,173 Classic Blossom. 572 00:18:37,272 --> 00:18:38,607 - Hey. - Hey. 573 00:18:38,706 --> 00:18:40,109 You wanna smell my punany? 574 00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:41,709 Ew, no, of course not. 575 00:18:41,810 --> 00:18:43,913 Relax, it's a line from "Poetic Justice." 576 00:18:44,012 --> 00:18:47,916 Also, I am truly very hurt that you wouldn't want to. 577 00:18:49,251 --> 00:18:51,887 Where's Derrick? 578 00:18:51,987 --> 00:18:54,189 He's not coming, because he couldn't find a hat. 579 00:18:54,290 --> 00:18:57,158 Mm, I guess no home sex for me. 580 00:18:57,259 --> 00:18:58,327 I'm sorry. 581 00:18:58,426 --> 00:19:00,195 He's an [bleep]. 582 00:19:00,294 --> 00:19:01,696 It's okay to feel [bleep] though. 583 00:19:01,797 --> 00:19:04,199 Yeah, and his costume really sucked. 584 00:19:04,299 --> 00:19:05,701 Yes, that is true. 585 00:19:05,801 --> 00:19:06,903 Mm-hmm. 586 00:19:08,870 --> 00:19:10,405 - Wait one sec. - Okay. 587 00:19:10,505 --> 00:19:13,007 ♪ At night, I think of you ♪ 588 00:19:15,776 --> 00:19:16,644 ♪ 589 00:19:16,744 --> 00:19:20,416 Oh, you're the sun to my moon. 590 00:19:20,515 --> 00:19:21,383 ♪ Just make that tootsie roll ♪ 591 00:19:21,484 --> 00:19:22,416 Thank you. 592 00:19:22,518 --> 00:19:23,853 - I love you. - I love you. 593 00:19:23,953 --> 00:19:26,356 ♪ Let me see that tootsie roll ♪ 594 00:19:26,455 --> 00:19:27,723 ♪ Tootsie roll ♪ 595 00:19:27,822 --> 00:19:28,724 ♪ Make that tootsie roll ♪ 596 00:19:28,823 --> 00:19:32,367 Synced and corrected by MasterCookie - www.addic7ed.com -