1 00:00:19,093 --> 00:00:20,125 Jimmy. 2 00:00:21,685 --> 00:00:23,220 Hey, buddy. 3 00:00:23,538 --> 00:00:25,161 You okay? 4 00:00:26,848 --> 00:00:28,000 Good morning. 5 00:00:28,035 --> 00:00:29,348 About what? 6 00:00:29,383 --> 00:00:32,938 God! Absolutely blotto last night. 7 00:00:34,303 --> 00:00:36,614 You... You don't remember what I told you? 8 00:00:36,649 --> 00:00:37,482 No. 9 00:00:37,517 --> 00:00:39,659 But tell me again. 10 00:00:40,365 --> 00:00:41,545 Okay, seriously, dude. 11 00:00:41,597 --> 00:00:43,463 I think you might have a drinking problem. 12 00:00:43,498 --> 00:00:46,148 Like, you need to go to church basements and shit. 13 00:00:46,183 --> 00:00:48,498 Oh, my God. Okay, um... 14 00:00:51,359 --> 00:00:54,848 I am... so sorry, but, uh... 15 00:00:57,099 --> 00:00:59,577 Sweetheart, your dad died. 16 00:01:01,983 --> 00:01:03,285 What? 17 00:01:04,022 --> 00:01:05,560 Papa? 18 00:01:05,595 --> 00:01:06,586 Oh, my God. 19 00:01:06,621 --> 00:01:09,074 I know. Oh, God. I'm so sorry. 20 00:01:09,109 --> 00:01:12,827 I... I don't know what to say. 21 00:01:40,513 --> 00:01:42,396 Do you want to talk about it? 22 00:01:45,133 --> 00:01:45,931 Ha! 23 00:01:45,966 --> 00:01:48,077 I was kidding. I totally remembered. 24 00:01:48,112 --> 00:01:49,340 Wait... what? 25 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:50,177 You knew? 26 00:01:50,212 --> 00:01:51,887 Yeah. You told me last night. 27 00:01:51,922 --> 00:01:52,983 You're not getting that one back. 28 00:01:53,018 --> 00:01:55,586 - I stole one, dummy. - ‭Jimmy! 29 00:01:55,621 --> 00:01:58,797 - You do not need to steal blow jobs. - Yeah, but 30 00:01:58,832 --> 00:02:01,261 you know how amazing free food tastes. 31 00:02:02,606 --> 00:02:03,823 Seriously, are you okay? 32 00:02:03,858 --> 00:02:06,493 Your dad died. That's a big deal. 33 00:02:06,582 --> 00:02:08,417 Yes, I am absolutely fine. 34 00:02:08,485 --> 00:02:10,900 I feel... nothing about it. 35 00:02:10,935 --> 00:02:12,219 - Really? - Yeah. 36 00:02:13,529 --> 00:02:14,638 Great! 37 00:02:14,673 --> 00:02:16,892 Oh. Phew! Thank God that's over. 38 00:02:16,927 --> 00:02:20,881 Huh? Hey, do you want to do, uh, one of those Korean gel masks? 39 00:02:20,944 --> 00:02:23,931 - Not really. - I got a snail one. 40 00:02:24,019 --> 00:02:27,332 It's supposed to be extra goopy. 41 00:02:27,429 --> 00:02:28,242 Huh. 42 00:02:40,724 --> 00:02:45,862 Sync and corrections by explosiveskull www.addic7ed.com 43 00:02:49,925 --> 00:02:54,507 I made my special heart pancakes, 44 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,013 because we love you, Jimmy. 45 00:02:56,048 --> 00:02:58,938 - We really do. - What kind of jank-ass hearts are these? 46 00:02:58,973 --> 00:03:00,478 That one looks like a butt. 47 00:03:00,513 --> 00:03:02,665 Sorry. It was... it was kind of a rough night. 48 00:03:02,700 --> 00:03:04,867 Uh, but later this afternoon, I'm finally gonna have 49 00:03:04,902 --> 00:03:07,110 my consultation with the chief of staff at the VA. 50 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,359 Yeah, chiefs'll do that sometimes. 51 00:03:09,394 --> 00:03:12,974 Hey, can I get some sticky sauce for these pan-butts or what? 52 00:03:13,009 --> 00:03:15,991 Do you know, I actually just read something interesting about PTSD? 53 00:03:16,026 --> 00:03:18,280 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah, it turns out in World War I, 54 00:03:18,346 --> 00:03:21,437 the official term for "PTSD" was "cowardice," 55 00:03:21,472 --> 00:03:23,549 - and you were shot for it. - That is interesting. 56 00:03:23,584 --> 00:03:25,441 How are you holding up, Jimmy? 57 00:03:25,476 --> 00:03:26,710 My guinea pig died. 58 00:03:26,757 --> 00:03:29,174 I couldn't jack off for, like, half a day. 59 00:03:29,235 --> 00:03:31,049 I'm telling you guys... false alarm. 60 00:03:31,088 --> 00:03:32,332 He truly doesn't give a shit. 61 00:03:32,379 --> 00:03:34,632 Look, when a relationship 62 00:03:34,667 --> 00:03:37,801 has been virtually non-existent for 33 years, 63 00:03:37,872 --> 00:03:40,481 we're not talking about a major tectonic shift. 64 00:03:40,516 --> 00:03:41,779 Nothing has changed. 65 00:03:41,814 --> 00:03:46,672 I still have exactly zero off-track bettors with IBS in my daily life. 66 00:03:46,707 --> 00:03:48,342 I almost wish I knew more dead people. 67 00:03:48,416 --> 00:03:50,668 I think funerals are hella sexy. 68 00:03:51,559 --> 00:03:53,185 All right, everybody out. I have work to do. 69 00:03:53,220 --> 00:03:55,053 Wait! 70 00:03:55,241 --> 00:03:58,208 Jimmy's dad died, and he doesn't care. 71 00:03:58,333 --> 00:04:01,888 - Yes? - I'm going to have a baby. 72 00:04:01,927 --> 00:04:04,546 What's happening? Is Lindsay processing thought? 73 00:04:04,581 --> 00:04:07,635 - Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. - And when I'm old, 74 00:04:07,865 --> 00:04:12,460 my kid will have a feeling about me dying. 75 00:04:12,495 --> 00:04:14,563 Oh, my God, she's doing it. 76 00:04:14,598 --> 00:04:16,427 I want my kids to be sad when I die. 77 00:04:16,512 --> 00:04:19,295 - Yes? - So I need to be 78 00:04:19,330 --> 00:04:21,265 a good... a good... 79 00:04:21,317 --> 00:04:23,423 - This is really happening. - a good... 80 00:04:26,205 --> 00:04:26,805 ...dad. 81 00:04:26,840 --> 00:04:29,897 - Aah! It almost had it. - Oh. 82 00:04:29,944 --> 00:04:32,034 I should probably sign up for one of those stupid 83 00:04:32,069 --> 00:04:34,057 classes Becca's always yammering about. 84 00:04:34,092 --> 00:04:35,560 Edgar? Edgar? 85 00:04:35,614 --> 00:04:36,493 Uh, yeah. What's up? 86 00:04:36,528 --> 00:04:38,397 Big writing day ahead of me. I need you to get 87 00:04:38,486 --> 00:04:42,060 all my usual writing snacks from the British specialty store. 88 00:04:42,095 --> 00:04:43,392 Shrimp-flavored crisps, 89 00:04:43,427 --> 00:04:45,605 Wallenger's choco-knockers, tartar biscuits, 90 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:46,899 and then all your standard candies... 91 00:04:46,947 --> 00:04:49,218 lemingtons, fluffingtons, rum Christophers, 92 00:04:49,253 --> 00:04:51,098 salted licorice knib knobs. 93 00:04:51,133 --> 00:04:52,574 I'm not mad, Felix. 94 00:04:52,609 --> 00:04:54,835 No, and when you constantly accuse me of being mad, 95 00:04:54,870 --> 00:04:57,768 you deny my right of actually being goddamn mad at you. 96 00:04:57,803 --> 00:04:59,678 No, I'm not "therapizing" you, all right? 97 00:04:59,713 --> 00:05:00,995 Stop saying that. 98 00:05:01,132 --> 00:05:02,427 Holy shit. 99 00:05:03,755 --> 00:05:05,311 I-I'll call you later. 100 00:05:05,346 --> 00:05:07,439 What's up? Give me a cigarette. Who was that? 101 00:05:07,474 --> 00:05:09,535 What that your shitty boyfriend with his cargo shorts? 102 00:05:09,582 --> 00:05:10,856 None of your business. 103 00:05:14,224 --> 00:05:15,442 What's going on? 104 00:05:15,477 --> 00:05:19,585 So, I told Jimmy his dad died, like you told me to, and he said 105 00:05:19,620 --> 00:05:22,304 that he feels nothing, and then he stole a beej, 106 00:05:22,367 --> 00:05:24,323 which is a pretty good heckle, actually. 107 00:05:24,358 --> 00:05:26,560 - Is there a question? - Nope. 108 00:05:26,595 --> 00:05:29,688 I just wanted you to know that you were wrong. 109 00:05:29,723 --> 00:05:31,877 You were wrong. 110 00:05:32,044 --> 00:05:34,740 Jimmy can say he's fine all he wants, 111 00:05:34,819 --> 00:05:37,405 but sooner or later, his dad's death is gonna hit him, 112 00:05:37,440 --> 00:05:40,067 and when it does, you're gonna have to be there for him. 113 00:05:40,102 --> 00:05:42,538 When? We're going on a rad cruise. 114 00:05:43,893 --> 00:05:46,642 Are you saying this could come out on the rad cruise? 115 00:05:46,677 --> 00:05:49,662 Sure. Yes, it could happen on the rad cruise. 116 00:05:49,697 --> 00:05:51,150 What's the rad cruise? 117 00:05:51,185 --> 00:05:53,801 No, I don't want to know. I mean, I do want to... 118 00:05:53,836 --> 00:05:57,025 - Never mind. - So you're telling me 119 00:05:57,084 --> 00:06:00,448 I need to help him get it all out now, 120 00:06:00,483 --> 00:06:01,839 just pop it like a pimple. 121 00:06:01,874 --> 00:06:04,342 - No, that is not how humans work. - Yeah, I get it. 122 00:06:04,377 --> 00:06:07,867 Get him to cry, boo-hoo, there, there, we'll be done by Wheel. 123 00:06:09,606 --> 00:06:11,939 Of Fortune. Seven years in school? Really? 124 00:06:11,991 --> 00:06:15,353 Gretchen, Jimmy has got to go through his grieving process. 125 00:06:15,388 --> 00:06:16,255 All right? 126 00:06:16,843 --> 00:06:19,130 It's not gonna happen on your exact schedule. 127 00:06:19,165 --> 00:06:21,474 Eh. I think I'm gonna do it my way. 128 00:06:21,509 --> 00:06:22,964 Thanks for nothing. 129 00:06:24,008 --> 00:06:26,740 Your boyfriend... sucks. 130 00:06:26,775 --> 00:06:28,992 Sucks. 131 00:06:30,662 --> 00:06:34,078 Simon's sisters and Kitty sprawled on the carpet, 132 00:06:34,132 --> 00:06:37,527 watching Top of the Pops, their bums in the air. 133 00:06:37,562 --> 00:06:39,808 From his perch on the coach, Simon noted 134 00:06:39,860 --> 00:06:43,678 that while Cynthia and Patsy had gotten quite porcine, 135 00:06:43,741 --> 00:06:47,494 Kitty's bottom had an almost otherworldly lift, 136 00:06:47,529 --> 00:06:49,586 as if in the process of being raptured 137 00:06:49,621 --> 00:06:53,458 for being too perfect to dwell any longer on Earth. 138 00:06:55,974 --> 00:06:58,393 Goddamn it! 139 00:06:58,428 --> 00:06:59,450 What's wrong with me? 140 00:06:59,484 --> 00:07:01,153 It's been hours, 141 00:07:01,200 --> 00:07:03,626 and I still haven't perfected the bum metaphor. 142 00:07:03,661 --> 00:07:05,703 - My fingers hurt. - My dad died. 143 00:07:05,761 --> 00:07:07,999 - At least you know where he is. - Edgar, I need sustenance. 144 00:07:08,034 --> 00:07:08,816 Where are my snacks? 145 00:07:08,851 --> 00:07:12,176 Uh, sorry, Jimmy. There was some police activity near the store. 146 00:07:12,211 --> 00:07:13,506 That's my last food! 147 00:07:13,541 --> 00:07:14,776 I've been thinking about it all day, 148 00:07:14,811 --> 00:07:17,876 and you really need to cry, Jimmy. My therapist says 149 00:07:17,911 --> 00:07:20,019 - it's very... - Gretchen the sheer breadth 150 00:07:20,054 --> 00:07:23,456 of my labyrinthian abstruse psychological composition 151 00:07:23,491 --> 00:07:26,058 cannot possibly be second-handedly grasped 152 00:07:26,093 --> 00:07:29,393 by some Long Beach Community College graduate 153 00:07:29,428 --> 00:07:32,959 who deals with the... tragically maladroit all day. 154 00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:33,592 No offense. 155 00:07:33,627 --> 00:07:36,031 None taken, because I do not know that word. 156 00:07:36,066 --> 00:07:37,350 Just give me the afternoon. 157 00:07:37,385 --> 00:07:38,786 We'll do some super-sad shit, 158 00:07:38,821 --> 00:07:42,580 you'll poop out some tears and we'll be home by Wheel. 159 00:07:42,615 --> 00:07:44,549 ...of Fortune. 160 00:07:48,853 --> 00:07:51,769 It won't work. I feel nothing! 161 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,352 But fine. Let's go. 162 00:07:53,437 --> 00:07:55,220 Work day's already a disaster. 163 00:07:55,306 --> 00:07:56,762 I don't know why I'm suddenly blocked. 164 00:07:56,797 --> 00:08:00,499 I'm rewriting the same paragraph over and over. 165 00:08:00,534 --> 00:08:01,262 Hey, 166 00:08:01,316 --> 00:08:03,256 Killswitch, while I'm out, 167 00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:05,620 copy edit the chapter where Simon watches Kitty bathe 168 00:08:05,655 --> 00:08:07,066 after the trip-hop concert. 169 00:08:07,101 --> 00:08:08,582 Oh, and for the love of God, 170 00:08:08,617 --> 00:08:11,754 finally learn how to spell "anilingus," will you?! 171 00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:14,950 You never say "thank you." 172 00:08:14,985 --> 00:08:17,735 That's what the money's for! 173 00:08:27,790 --> 00:08:30,551 I'm so glad we're gonna learn how to be a family. 174 00:08:30,593 --> 00:08:31,526 Family. 175 00:08:31,561 --> 00:08:33,113 But we're already a family. 176 00:08:33,148 --> 00:08:36,506 You can't just have two people in a family, Paul. 177 00:08:36,541 --> 00:08:38,755 Name one family that's two people. 178 00:08:38,818 --> 00:08:40,131 Gilmore Girls. 179 00:08:40,166 --> 00:08:42,781 We have to learn how to be good parents, 180 00:08:42,885 --> 00:08:46,460 so that when we're old, they'll take good care of us. 181 00:08:46,495 --> 00:08:48,552 Plus, you're so accident-prone. 182 00:08:48,587 --> 00:08:50,560 You turned into my knife, and it's taken, like, 183 00:08:50,606 --> 00:08:52,951 forever for your skin to grow back together. 184 00:08:52,986 --> 00:08:54,494 You mean heal? 185 00:08:54,556 --> 00:08:56,361 Dogs heel, Paul. 186 00:08:56,396 --> 00:08:58,382 Men get strong. 187 00:08:59,301 --> 00:09:01,831 - Nerds! - Oh, my God. 188 00:09:01,866 --> 00:09:03,155 I still can't believe you're keeping it. 189 00:09:03,190 --> 00:09:05,235 Oh, Rebecca, 190 00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,985 you josher. 191 00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:10,656 Such a bummer about the timing though. 192 00:09:10,691 --> 00:09:12,242 By the time it comes flopping out, 193 00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:14,447 our entire family's gonna be so babied out, 194 00:09:14,482 --> 00:09:17,646 your poor little lump's not gonna get any attention. 195 00:09:17,681 --> 00:09:20,405 You're just mad I didn't get all fat like you. 196 00:09:20,444 --> 00:09:22,418 You're barely pregnant. 197 00:09:22,504 --> 00:09:24,985 Yo, dingus, help me gaffle some of these brews. 198 00:09:25,048 --> 00:09:27,240 Becca's being a cooze and doesn't want me to drink 199 00:09:27,311 --> 00:09:29,593 so I actually pay attention. 200 00:09:29,628 --> 00:09:32,312 Anyway, pretend like you got to go drop a dook, 201 00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:34,112 grab, like, four of them dummies, 202 00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:37,125 leave 'em in the toilet tank for me, Godfather-style. 203 00:09:37,164 --> 00:09:41,098 Nothing gets this pimp through a dumb baby class like toilet beer. 204 00:09:41,161 --> 00:09:43,274 Hello, mommies and daddies. 205 00:09:43,309 --> 00:09:45,803 So, last week we covered birth plans and how 206 00:09:45,838 --> 00:09:47,860 pretty much everyone poops during labor. 207 00:09:47,897 --> 00:09:50,855 So today we're gonna practice some real-life skills. 208 00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:53,596 Everybody come and grab a baby doll. Come on. 209 00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:06,046 Emotions are dangerous, Gretchen. Think about it, 210 00:10:06,081 --> 00:10:08,120 the most emotional movie characters 211 00:10:08,155 --> 00:10:11,287 always die. Kane from Citizen Kane. 212 00:10:11,322 --> 00:10:12,680 The wife from Up. 213 00:10:12,743 --> 00:10:16,151 Table-dancing destitute on the bottom deck of the Titanic. 214 00:10:16,186 --> 00:10:18,411 And the ones who survive in movies: 215 00:10:18,446 --> 00:10:20,850 RoboCop, Terminator, 216 00:10:20,928 --> 00:10:23,207 - Chappie. - Those are all robots. 217 00:10:23,242 --> 00:10:24,864 Yeah, exactly. No emotions. 218 00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:27,784 Just cold circuitry and a thirst for revenge. 219 00:10:27,819 --> 00:10:31,322 I don't really know why you guys insist on sitting in the backseat. 220 00:10:31,357 --> 00:10:32,747 I'm not an Uber. 221 00:10:32,782 --> 00:10:34,311 Yeah, damn right you're not. 222 00:10:34,346 --> 00:10:35,811 What's that? 223 00:10:35,846 --> 00:10:36,904 His rating. 224 00:10:39,076 --> 00:10:41,130 One star. 225 00:10:43,848 --> 00:10:46,336 Oh, almost forgot. Give us your car booze. 226 00:10:46,371 --> 00:10:48,772 Guys, I really have to get to my VA appointment. 227 00:10:48,807 --> 00:10:50,850 Fine. 228 00:10:50,885 --> 00:10:52,696 But when you're done with your stupid thing, 229 00:10:52,731 --> 00:10:54,713 you're giving us a ride home. 230 00:11:00,018 --> 00:11:02,069 Come on. A little wah-wah, 231 00:11:02,104 --> 00:11:04,462 death is sad, and then you're done. 232 00:11:04,512 --> 00:11:06,092 Pretend one of these is your dad's grave. 233 00:11:06,127 --> 00:11:08,399 Yeah, the problem is death doesn't bother me. 234 00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,906 I'm not upset by the inevitable. 235 00:11:10,955 --> 00:11:12,803 It's like being upset by the weather 236 00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,274 or by an Irishman proving untrustworthy. 237 00:11:15,337 --> 00:11:17,556 Look. 238 00:11:17,591 --> 00:11:19,445 Real live dead person. 239 00:11:19,517 --> 00:11:21,627 Come on. Maybe it'll stir something up. 240 00:11:21,662 --> 00:11:25,008 ...with so many questions and so few answers. 241 00:11:25,723 --> 00:11:26,542 Hi. Sorry. 242 00:11:26,577 --> 00:11:27,529 But it would be a mistake to think of today 243 00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:28,982 as a sad day. 244 00:11:29,017 --> 00:11:31,225 Charlotte, if you would please step forward. 245 00:11:35,907 --> 00:11:37,600 Our Father, who art in heaven... 246 00:11:37,635 --> 00:11:40,556 Jimmy, am I... Jimmy, am I crazy 247 00:11:40,642 --> 00:11:44,372 or is this funeral hella sexy? 248 00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:46,558 I don't know where that fetish came from, 249 00:11:46,593 --> 00:11:48,798 but it is absolutely... 250 00:11:51,194 --> 00:11:53,336 ...lead us not into temptation... 251 00:11:53,419 --> 00:11:55,502 Oh, my God, you're right. 252 00:11:55,537 --> 00:11:58,005 It's like the funeral from November Rain. 253 00:12:03,148 --> 00:12:06,293 Wait! Make sure to pull out. I can't get pregnant. 254 00:12:06,328 --> 00:12:07,884 Your dad might be floating around right now, 255 00:12:07,919 --> 00:12:10,165 looking for a body to reincarnate. 256 00:12:11,045 --> 00:12:12,161 Good call. 257 00:12:25,064 --> 00:12:27,770 Um... too hard. 258 00:13:19,786 --> 00:13:21,902 Oh! Yes! 259 00:13:24,162 --> 00:13:26,227 It's not real! 260 00:13:26,359 --> 00:13:28,276 It's not a real baby! 261 00:13:28,358 --> 00:13:29,627 Thank you. 262 00:13:29,662 --> 00:13:32,168 Okay, we got a little distracted at that last place. 263 00:13:32,253 --> 00:13:35,004 But this is it: living fathers 264 00:13:35,056 --> 00:13:37,264 with their kids. That is some straight-up 265 00:13:37,299 --> 00:13:39,961 "Cat's in the Cradle" shit right there. Plus, 266 00:13:40,015 --> 00:13:41,344 look at my dope maze. 267 00:13:41,396 --> 00:13:44,294 Usually, I'm a master of all art forms... 268 00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:47,956 writing, music, quips, mixed media collage... 269 00:13:47,991 --> 00:13:51,598 but, for some reason, I am creatively blocked. 270 00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:54,789 A sun wearing sunglasses. 271 00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:57,473 Doesn't even make sense. 272 00:13:57,508 --> 00:13:59,510 He's too bright for his own eyes? 273 00:13:59,584 --> 00:14:02,518 It's because you need to cry it out. 274 00:14:02,553 --> 00:14:04,645 Maybe you're right. 275 00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:05,618 Jesus Christ. 276 00:14:05,703 --> 00:14:08,210 I don't even know what to do with you anymore! 277 00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,505 And... jackpot. 278 00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:13,813 Go. Follow him. 279 00:14:13,848 --> 00:14:15,619 Maybe he'll rage-kick a garbage can, 280 00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:17,707 remind you of your dad. Go. 281 00:14:17,770 --> 00:14:19,023 All right. 282 00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:21,141 I will give it a go. 283 00:14:24,118 --> 00:14:26,919 Hey. What you workin' on, buddy? 284 00:14:32,373 --> 00:14:34,077 Parenting, right? 285 00:14:34,112 --> 00:14:35,218 I don't know what to do, man. 286 00:14:35,253 --> 00:14:36,365 Mm. 287 00:14:36,881 --> 00:14:39,666 It's hard to communicate with them, yeah? 288 00:14:39,729 --> 00:14:41,591 Like you don't even recognize yourself in them. 289 00:14:41,626 --> 00:14:42,849 I don't. 290 00:14:42,896 --> 00:14:46,316 You're frustrated because he's a little clumsy, 291 00:14:46,351 --> 00:14:48,701 a little too artsy-fartsy, 292 00:14:48,736 --> 00:14:52,086 because he broke a blood vessel in his eye crying at My Girl. 293 00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:54,558 What? No. 294 00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:56,213 He's legitimately a bad person. 295 00:14:56,268 --> 00:14:58,764 Like, my son is an awful human being. 296 00:14:58,826 --> 00:15:00,703 - What? - He set up a bunch of Facebook accounts 297 00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:02,457 to cyberbully me. 298 00:15:02,492 --> 00:15:05,224 Hey, this bitch is bothering me. 299 00:15:05,283 --> 00:15:07,151 You trying to hit on my dad, twink? 300 00:15:07,186 --> 00:15:09,191 Jimmy, turns out this kid sucks. 301 00:15:09,272 --> 00:15:10,984 You suck! What kind of adults go 302 00:15:11,048 --> 00:15:13,504 to a paint-your-own-pottery place anyway? 303 00:15:13,539 --> 00:15:15,023 Nasty-ass pedophiles. 304 00:15:15,101 --> 00:15:18,906 Oh, shit! 305 00:15:18,991 --> 00:15:20,947 - Don't go... - Shut up, Greg. 306 00:15:21,029 --> 00:15:22,521 I wish you would call me Dad. 307 00:15:22,556 --> 00:15:24,840 Well, I wish you'd suck my dick. 308 00:15:26,808 --> 00:15:28,808 Oh, hey, emotion check. 309 00:15:30,311 --> 00:15:32,848 Actually, I think I felt something that time. 310 00:15:32,887 --> 00:15:35,338 Really?! Jimmy! 311 00:15:35,373 --> 00:15:37,246 We're thawing your cold, dead heart. 312 00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:39,679 Hurry up! We got one more stop on the sadness tour. 313 00:15:39,714 --> 00:15:41,726 Okay. Let me call an Edgar. 314 00:15:45,354 --> 00:15:46,679 We're ready to go. 315 00:15:46,714 --> 00:15:49,180 And I sincerely hope you've got our car booze. 316 00:15:49,242 --> 00:15:51,927 Sorry, Jimmy, I can't come. My car broke down. 317 00:15:51,962 --> 00:15:53,236 Oh, well, that's not a surprise. 318 00:15:53,271 --> 00:15:56,979 Piece of shit with no auxiliary plug or car booze! 319 00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:07,590 _ 320 00:16:07,703 --> 00:16:08,772 All right. 321 00:16:12,853 --> 00:16:15,580 Great job. Here's a Sophie giraffe 322 00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:18,526 for winning the skills section. 323 00:16:19,725 --> 00:16:22,939 Oh. No, that's... 324 00:16:22,974 --> 00:16:23,593 Okay. 325 00:16:23,628 --> 00:16:25,602 I won a prize. 326 00:16:25,637 --> 00:16:27,431 You're such a natural mommy. 327 00:16:27,466 --> 00:16:29,772 One of the dads just told me the neatest thing: 328 00:16:29,807 --> 00:16:31,381 babies are programmed 329 00:16:31,416 --> 00:16:33,427 to look like the father when they're born. 330 00:16:33,462 --> 00:16:34,820 Won't that be so adorable? 331 00:16:34,855 --> 00:16:37,659 A tiny little me suckling at your bosom? 332 00:16:37,694 --> 00:16:41,669 Wah, wah. 333 00:16:42,364 --> 00:16:44,415 Linds... 334 00:16:44,615 --> 00:16:48,015 that was actually quite... impressive. 335 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:51,545 I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but I think... 336 00:16:51,812 --> 00:16:54,166 you were born to be a mom. 337 00:16:54,201 --> 00:16:55,038 Thanks, Bec. 338 00:16:55,073 --> 00:16:56,476 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Uh-oh! 339 00:16:56,511 --> 00:16:59,096 There's something's wrong with my big ol' honkers! 340 00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,882 Ah! No leche! 341 00:17:01,968 --> 00:17:04,849 - Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug. - Oh. This poor dear. 342 00:17:04,884 --> 00:17:06,570 He is so delirious from working 343 00:17:06,623 --> 00:17:07,979 - so many double shifts. - Ooh... 344 00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,207 Paul, will you drive us home? 345 00:17:09,242 --> 00:17:11,792 Of course. See you at home, Mama? 346 00:17:11,827 --> 00:17:12,992 Sure, Pap... 347 00:17:13,125 --> 00:17:15,292 Paul. 348 00:17:15,448 --> 00:17:18,980 Um, hi, what is this? 349 00:17:19,015 --> 00:17:21,035 What do I look like, some baby lady? 350 00:17:21,070 --> 00:17:24,876 I'm sorry. M-My wife, she's stuck at work... shocker. 351 00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,222 She gave me this shopping list, and, 352 00:17:27,293 --> 00:17:29,480 man, I have no idea what I'm doing. 353 00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:31,713 Oh. Okay. 354 00:17:32,471 --> 00:17:33,581 Mm. 355 00:17:33,810 --> 00:17:35,942 Looks like you're gonna need a Miracle Blanket, a Woombie, 356 00:17:36,023 --> 00:17:38,419 - a Boppy... really great neck support... - Yeah... 357 00:17:38,454 --> 00:17:41,449 and, of course, Zipadee-Zip. 358 00:17:41,484 --> 00:17:43,513 It'll be quicker if I just do it. 359 00:17:43,548 --> 00:17:45,881 Thank you so much. I appreciate it. 360 00:17:46,725 --> 00:17:48,211 Well, Gretchen, you did it. 361 00:17:48,286 --> 00:17:51,763 I can't think of a place more gloomy, more soul-crushing, 362 00:17:51,798 --> 00:17:55,488 more quintessentially England. 363 00:17:55,523 --> 00:17:58,732 Yeah, I thought you might want a wee English breakfast. 364 00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:00,534 - Excuse me? - Don't be a berk. 365 00:18:00,569 --> 00:18:04,018 You know what I'm talkin' about, Shitty Jimmy. 366 00:18:04,053 --> 00:18:05,539 Are you being Ronny? 367 00:18:05,574 --> 00:18:06,914 Today's been all abstract. 368 00:18:06,949 --> 00:18:08,487 It's time to personalize it. 369 00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:11,004 I even boned up on some British slang online. 370 00:18:11,039 --> 00:18:13,551 Blarmy! Knob jockeys getting married?! 371 00:18:13,586 --> 00:18:16,021 Next thing you know, some ringburner's 372 00:18:16,056 --> 00:18:17,788 gonna want to shag and marry his dachshund! 373 00:18:17,823 --> 00:18:19,289 Oh. 374 00:18:19,381 --> 00:18:21,798 Almost felt something again. Get more personal. 375 00:18:21,861 --> 00:18:24,107 Uh, talk about my ceramic pony collection 376 00:18:24,142 --> 00:18:26,112 or the time Fiona caught me kissing a magazine cover 377 00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:28,237 of Boy George because I thought he was a girl. 378 00:18:28,272 --> 00:18:31,213 Look at 'at pasty skin. 379 00:18:31,248 --> 00:18:33,593 Them soft girl hands. 380 00:18:33,628 --> 00:18:38,312 The poofy scrote never worked an honest day in his whole miserable, 381 00:18:38,347 --> 00:18:39,476 sodding life. 382 00:18:39,513 --> 00:18:43,092 Now, you listen to me, you fat, grey void. 383 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:46,302 Writing is hard! It is actual work. 384 00:18:46,337 --> 00:18:49,957 It's a noble, nay, spiritual endeavor that taxes 385 00:18:49,992 --> 00:18:52,555 both the brain... Oh, my God. 386 00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:55,306 This wretched idea of yours might actually be working. 387 00:18:55,388 --> 00:18:58,260 - The feeling? It's back. - Yeah, it's coming. 388 00:18:58,363 --> 00:19:01,866 Oh, my God. Here it comes. 389 00:19:08,144 --> 00:19:09,996 That was the feeling? A fart? 390 00:19:10,031 --> 00:19:13,066 Mm. Apparently. Well, I told you, 391 00:19:13,101 --> 00:19:14,651 I'm very evolved. 392 00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:17,050 Stupid therapist. 393 00:19:17,085 --> 00:19:18,634 I'm warning you, this better be it. 394 00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,035 If you lose your shit on the cruise 395 00:19:20,108 --> 00:19:22,173 and ruin my time with Cotton Candy Raccoon, 396 00:19:22,208 --> 00:19:24,005 Bubble Gecko, or Sneezy Panda, 397 00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:28,309 I... Well, she died in a plane crash. But never mind. 398 00:19:30,489 --> 00:19:32,895 How do you even mess up toast? 399 00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:38,904 Thanks so much for helping. 400 00:19:39,708 --> 00:19:42,521 Jesus, I'm already this overwhelmed. 401 00:19:42,576 --> 00:19:44,390 I don't even have a baby yet. 402 00:19:44,425 --> 00:19:46,502 How are you this good at it already? 403 00:19:46,537 --> 00:19:49,054 I have no idea. 404 00:19:49,089 --> 00:19:52,079 So now what? I'm just stuck doing this baby shit 405 00:19:52,105 --> 00:19:53,938 for the rest of my life? 406 00:19:53,973 --> 00:19:57,941 What if there are other things I'm meant to be and I never find out? 407 00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:02,429 Like a phlebologist or a dinosaur? 408 00:20:02,491 --> 00:20:05,011 Once my ex and I split, 409 00:20:05,046 --> 00:20:07,484 I figured that was it. 410 00:20:07,987 --> 00:20:09,787 I was never gonna be a dad. 411 00:20:09,826 --> 00:20:13,096 Then I meet this cute Asian chick at the Kubrick exhibit 412 00:20:13,185 --> 00:20:15,755 at LACMA and suddenly she's knocked up 413 00:20:16,545 --> 00:20:21,366 and I get this second chance at 42. 414 00:20:21,422 --> 00:20:23,551 So you believe in second chances? 415 00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:24,874 I didn't. 416 00:20:25,769 --> 00:20:27,716 But I guess I do now. 417 00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:39,363 Oh, Jesus. What the hell are you doing? Are you insane? 418 00:20:39,398 --> 00:20:42,806 I just told you, I'm on my second chance! 419 00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:46,172 - I just thought... - Oh, my God! What is wrong with you?! 420 00:20:46,207 --> 00:20:47,328 - Why would you even do that? - Shh. 421 00:20:47,363 --> 00:20:48,360 - I talked to your husband! - Okay. 422 00:20:48,395 --> 00:20:49,439 - He was so nice. - Fine. 423 00:20:49,494 --> 00:20:51,568 We're going kayaking together sometime! 424 00:20:51,603 --> 00:20:54,425 - Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. - This isn't a singles bar where you just pick up guys! 425 00:20:54,460 --> 00:20:56,924 - You're having a baby, you weirdo! - Shut up, shut up, 426 00:20:56,959 --> 00:20:57,770 shut up. 427 00:20:57,810 --> 00:20:58,681 Shut up. 428 00:20:58,747 --> 00:21:01,135 Shut up. 429 00:21:18,434 --> 00:21:20,162 I got your snacks. 430 00:21:22,827 --> 00:21:23,775 It's too late. 431 00:21:23,810 --> 00:21:26,087 I've already lost an entire day's writing. 432 00:21:26,122 --> 00:21:28,122 Sorry, literature. 433 00:21:31,316 --> 00:21:35,371 Mmm, rum Christophers; they're so disgusting, I can't stop eating them. 434 00:21:39,585 --> 00:21:42,112 Hey! How was your thing today? 435 00:21:42,146 --> 00:21:43,063 Fine. 436 00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:45,509 Do you want to talk about it? 437 00:21:45,564 --> 00:21:46,404 No. 438 00:21:46,457 --> 00:21:48,371 Yes! Two for two. 439 00:22:19,709 --> 00:22:21,943 Well, Dad, here we are. 440 00:22:23,084 --> 00:22:24,998 The final test. 441 00:22:50,731 --> 00:22:52,549 That's it. 442 00:22:52,616 --> 00:22:54,356 Get it out. 443 00:22:55,455 --> 00:22:57,885 Let all the sadness out. 444 00:22:58,466 --> 00:23:00,152 Whoa! I thought you were crying! 445 00:23:00,202 --> 00:23:02,310 No. It's amazing. 446 00:23:02,344 --> 00:23:04,398 I was smelling the jacket that Dad left 447 00:23:04,464 --> 00:23:06,464 and it smelled exactly like him. 448 00:23:06,499 --> 00:23:10,111 Just cigarettes, ale, beans, occupational failure. 449 00:23:10,154 --> 00:23:13,585 And in a rush, that feeling that we'd been searching for all day 450 00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:15,860 just came flying out. And, Gretchen, 451 00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:17,812 it wasn't sadness. 452 00:23:17,846 --> 00:23:19,846 It was happiness. 453 00:23:20,420 --> 00:23:21,715 I'm free. 454 00:23:21,750 --> 00:23:24,499 I am finally free! 455 00:23:24,534 --> 00:23:27,099 And I'm finally unstuck creatively. 456 00:23:27,134 --> 00:23:29,074 I found, all right, the perfect metaphor 457 00:23:29,128 --> 00:23:31,722 for the heft of Kitty's adolescent bottom. 458 00:23:31,779 --> 00:23:34,289 I'll tell you later. It's-it's too sexy. 459 00:23:35,697 --> 00:23:36,849 Do you want to go, uh, binge-watch 460 00:23:36,884 --> 00:23:38,937 that six-part series on the Susan Smith case? 461 00:23:38,972 --> 00:23:39,921 Yeah. Just a sec. 462 00:23:39,955 --> 00:23:42,408 Now that my parental nightmare is finally over, 463 00:23:42,443 --> 00:23:45,218 I'm gonna get rid of everything that smacks 464 00:23:45,253 --> 00:23:47,253 of Ronny Overly. 465 00:23:47,287 --> 00:23:52,203 May he rest in relative peace for someone of his arterial calcification.