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♪ ♪

2
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(iPhone unlock sound)

3
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(iPhone lock sound, puts phone down)

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♪ You were right ♪

5
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(whispers): Jimmy.

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Hey, buddy.

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You okay?

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Good morning.

9
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About what?

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God! Absolutely blotto last night.

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(chuckles)

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You... You don't remember what I told you?

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No.

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But tell me again.

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Okay, seriously, dude.

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I think you might have a drinking problem.

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Like, you need to go to
church basements and shit.

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Oh, my God. Okay, um...

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(inhales)

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I am... so sorry, but, uh...

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Sweetheart, your dad died.

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What?

23
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Papa?

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Oh, my God.

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I know. Oh, God. I'm so sorry.

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I... I don't know what to say.

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♪ ♪

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(exhales)

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Do you want to talk about it?

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Ha!

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I was kidding. I totally remembered.

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Wait... what?

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You knew?

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Yeah. You told me last night.

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You're not getting that one back.

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- I stole one, dummy.
- ‭Jimmy!

37
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- You do not need to steal blow jobs.
- Yeah, but

38
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you know how amazing free food tastes.

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(urinating)

40
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- (toilet flushes)
- Seriously, are you okay?

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Your dad died. That's a big deal.

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Yes, I am absolutely fine.

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I feel... nothing about it.

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- Really?
- Yeah.

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Great!

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Oh. Phew! Thank God that's over.

47
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Huh? Hey, do you want to do, uh,
one of those Korean gel masks?

48
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- Not really.
- I got a snail one.

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It's supposed to be extra goopy.

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Huh.

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♪ I'm gonna leave you anyway ♪

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♪ I'm gonna leave you anyway ♪

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♪ Gonna leave you anyway. ♪

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Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com

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I made my special heart pancakes,

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because we love you, Jimmy.

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- We really do.
- What kind of jank-ass hearts are these?

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That one looks like a butt.

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Sorry. It was... it was
kind of a rough night.

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Uh, but later this afternoon,
I'm finally gonna have

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my consultation with the
chief of staff at the VA.

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Yeah, chiefs'll do that sometimes.

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Hey, can I get some sticky sauce
for these pan-butts or what?

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Do you know, I actually just read
something interesting about PTSD?

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- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah, it turns out in World War I,

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the official term for
"PTSD" was "cowardice,"

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- and you were shot for it.
- That is interesting.

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LINDSAY: How are you holding up, Jimmy?

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My guinea pig died.

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I couldn't jack off for, like, half a day.

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I'm telling you guys... false alarm.

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He truly doesn't give a shit.

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Look, when a relationship

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has been virtually
non-existent for 33 years,

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we're not talking about
a major tectonic shift.

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Nothing has changed.

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I still have exactly zero off-track
bettors with IBS in my daily life.

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I almost wish I knew more dead people.

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I think funerals are hella sexy.

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All right, everybody
out. I have work to do.

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Wait!

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Jimmy's dad died, and he doesn't care.

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- Yes?
- I'm going to have a baby.

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JIMMY: What's happening? Is
Lindsay processing thought?

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- Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
- And when I'm old,

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my kid will have a feeling about me dying.

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(whispering): Oh, my God, she's doing it.

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I want my kids to be sad when I die.

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- Yes?
- So I need to be

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a good... a good...

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- This is really happening.
- a good...

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(sighs)

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...dad.

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- Aah! It almost had it.
- Oh.

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I should probably sign
up for one of those stupid

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classes Becca's always yammering about.

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Edgar? Edgar?

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Uh, yeah. What's up?

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Big writing day ahead
of me. I need you to get

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all my usual writing snacks
from the British specialty store.

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Shrimp-flavored crisps,

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Wallenger's choco-knockers,
tartar biscuits,

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and then all your standard candies...

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lemingtons, fluffingtons, rum Christophers,

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salted licorice knib knobs.

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I'm not mad, Felix.

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No, and when you constantly
accuse me of being mad,

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you deny my right of actually
being goddamn mad at you.

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No, I'm not "therapizing" you, all right?

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Stop saying that.

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Holy shit.

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I-I'll call you later.

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What's up? Give me a
cigarette. Who was that?

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What that your shitty
boyfriend with his cargo shorts?

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None of your business.

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(grunts)

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What's going on?

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So, I told Jimmy his dad died,
like you told me to, and he said

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that he feels nothing,
and then he stole a beej,

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which is a pretty good heckle, actually.

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- Is there a question?
- Nope.

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I just wanted you to
know that you were wrong.

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You were wrong.

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Jimmy can say he's fine all he wants,

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but sooner or later, his
dad's death is gonna hit him,

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and when it does, you're
gonna have to be there for him.

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When? We're going on a rad cruise.

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Are you saying this could
come out on the rad cruise?

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Sure. Yes, it could
happen on the rad cruise.

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(clears throat) What's the rad cruise?

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No, I don't want to know.
I mean, I do want to...

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- Never mind.
- So you're telling me

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I need to help him get it all out now,

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just pop it like a pimple.

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- No, that is not how humans work.
- Yeah, I get it.

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Get him to cry, boo-hoo, there,
there, we'll be done by Wheel.

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Of Fortune. Seven years in school? Really?

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Gretchen, Jimmy has got to go
through his grieving process.

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All right?

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It's not gonna happen
on your exact schedule.

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Eh. I think I'm gonna do it my way.

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Thanks for nothing.

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(clears throat)

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(whispers): Your boyfriend... sucks.

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Sucks.

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Simon's sisters and Kitty
sprawled on the carpet,

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watching Top of the Pops,
their bums in the air.

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From his perch on the coach, Simon noted

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that while Cynthia and Patsy
had gotten quite porcine,

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Kitty's bottom had an
almost otherworldly lift,

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as if in the process of being raptured

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for being too perfect to
dwell any longer on Earth.

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(yells in frustration)

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Goddamn it!

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What's wrong with me?

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It's been hours,

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and I still haven't
perfected the bum metaphor.

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- My fingers hurt.
- My dad died.

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- At least you know where he is.
- Edgar, I need sustenance.

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Where are my snacks?

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Uh, sorry, Jimmy. There was some
police activity near the store.

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That's my last food!

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I've been thinking about it all day,

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and you really need to cry,
Jimmy. My therapist says

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- it's very...
- Gretchen the sheer breadth

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of my labyrinthian abstruse
psychological composition

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cannot possibly be second-handedly grasped

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by some Long Beach
Community College graduate

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who deals with the...
tragically maladroit all day.

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No offense.

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None taken, because I
do not know that word.

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Just give me the afternoon.

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We'll do some super-sad shit,

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you'll poop out some tears
and we'll be home by Wheel.

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BOTH: ...of Fortune.

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It won't work. I feel nothing!

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But fine. Let's go.

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Work day's already a disaster.

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I don't know why I'm suddenly blocked.

180
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I'm rewriting the same
paragraph over and over.

181
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Hey,

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Killswitch, while I'm out,

183
00:08:03,309 --> 00:08:05,620
copy edit the chapter where
Simon watches Kitty bathe

184
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after the trip-hop concert.

185
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Oh, and for the love of God,

186
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finally learn how to spell
"anilingus," will you?!

187
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You never say "thank you."

188
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That's what the money's for!

189
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I'm so glad we're gonna
learn how to be a family.

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Family.

191
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But we're already a family.

192
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You can't just have two
people in a family, Paul.

193
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Name one family that's two people.

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Gilmore Girls.

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We have to learn how to be good parents,

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so that when we're old,
they'll take good care of us.

197
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Plus, you're so accident-prone.

198
00:08:48,587 --> 00:08:50,560
You turned into my knife,
and it's taken, like,

199
00:08:50,606 --> 00:08:52,951
forever for your skin
to grow back together.

200
00:08:52,986 --> 00:08:54,494
You mean heal?

201
00:08:54,556 --> 00:08:56,361
Dogs heel, Paul.

202
00:08:56,396 --> 00:08:58,382
Men get strong.

203
00:08:59,301 --> 00:09:01,831
- Nerds!
- Oh, my God.

204
00:09:01,866 --> 00:09:03,155
I still can't believe you're keeping it.

205
00:09:03,190 --> 00:09:05,235
(laughing): Oh, Rebecca,

206
00:09:05,320 --> 00:09:07,985
- you josher. (laughing)
- (chuckling)

207
00:09:08,020 --> 00:09:10,656
Such a bummer about the timing though.

208
00:09:10,691 --> 00:09:12,242
By the time it comes flopping out,

209
00:09:12,294 --> 00:09:14,447
our entire family's gonna be so babied out,

210
00:09:14,482 --> 00:09:17,646
your poor little lump's
not gonna get any attention.

211
00:09:17,681 --> 00:09:20,405
You're just mad I didn't
get all fat like you.

212
00:09:20,444 --> 00:09:22,418
You're barely pregnant.

213
00:09:22,504 --> 00:09:24,985
Yo, dingus, help me
gaffle some of these brews.

214
00:09:25,048 --> 00:09:27,240
Becca's being a cooze and
doesn't want me to drink

215
00:09:27,311 --> 00:09:29,593
so I actually pay attention.

216
00:09:29,628 --> 00:09:32,312
Anyway, pretend like you
got to go drop a dook,

217
00:09:32,397 --> 00:09:34,112
grab, like, four of them dummies,

218
00:09:34,182 --> 00:09:37,125
leave 'em in the toilet
tank for me, Godfather-style.

219
00:09:37,164 --> 00:09:41,098
Nothing gets this pimp through a
dumb baby class like toilet beer.

220
00:09:41,161 --> 00:09:43,274
Hello, mommies and daddies.

221
00:09:43,309 --> 00:09:45,803
So, last week we covered
birth plans and how

222
00:09:45,838 --> 00:09:47,860
pretty much everyone poops during labor.

223
00:09:47,897 --> 00:09:50,855
So today we're gonna practice
some real-life skills.

224
00:09:50,890 --> 00:09:53,596
Everybody come and grab
a baby doll. Come on.

225
00:09:53,631 --> 00:09:57,672
♪ Snuggle wuggle ♪

226
00:09:57,707 --> 00:10:01,061
♪ Snuggle wuggle, snuggle
wuggle, snuggle wuggle ♪

227
00:10:01,096 --> 00:10:03,142
♪ Snuggle wuggle ♪

228
00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:06,046
Emotions are dangerous,
Gretchen. Think about it,

229
00:10:06,081 --> 00:10:08,120
the most emotional movie characters

230
00:10:08,155 --> 00:10:11,287
always die. Kane from Citizen Kane.

231
00:10:11,322 --> 00:10:12,680
The wife from Up.

232
00:10:12,743 --> 00:10:16,151
Table-dancing destitute on
the bottom deck of the Titanic.

233
00:10:16,186 --> 00:10:18,411
And the ones who survive in movies:

234
00:10:18,446 --> 00:10:20,850
RoboCop, Terminator,

235
00:10:20,928 --> 00:10:23,207
- Chappie.
- Those are all robots.

236
00:10:23,242 --> 00:10:24,864
Yeah, exactly. No emotions.

237
00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:27,784
Just cold circuitry and
a thirst for revenge.

238
00:10:27,819 --> 00:10:31,322
I don't really know why you guys
insist on sitting in the backseat.

239
00:10:31,357 --> 00:10:32,747
I'm not an Uber.

240
00:10:32,782 --> 00:10:34,311
Yeah, damn right you're not.

241
00:10:34,346 --> 00:10:35,811
- (keys clacking)
- What's that?

242
00:10:35,846 --> 00:10:36,904
His rating.

243
00:10:36,939 --> 00:10:37,994
(chime)

244
00:10:39,076 --> 00:10:41,130
- (grunts)
- One star.

245
00:10:42,356 --> 00:10:43,166
(sighs)

246
00:10:43,848 --> 00:10:46,336
Oh, almost forgot. Give us your car booze.

247
00:10:46,371 --> 00:10:48,772
Guys, I really have to
get to my VA appointment.

248
00:10:48,807 --> 00:10:50,850
- (whimpers)
- (groans) Fine.

249
00:10:50,885 --> 00:10:52,696
But when you're done
with your stupid thing,

250
00:10:52,731 --> 00:10:54,713
you're giving us a ride home.

251
00:10:54,748 --> 00:10:56,626
(starts engine)

252
00:11:00,018 --> 00:11:02,069
Come on. A little wah-wah,

253
00:11:02,104 --> 00:11:04,462
death is sad, and then you're done.

254
00:11:04,512 --> 00:11:06,092
Pretend one of these is your dad's grave.

255
00:11:06,127 --> 00:11:08,399
Yeah, the problem is
death doesn't bother me.

256
00:11:08,435 --> 00:11:10,906
I'm not upset by the inevitable.

257
00:11:10,955 --> 00:11:12,803
It's like being upset by the weather

258
00:11:12,838 --> 00:11:15,274
or by an Irishman proving untrustworthy.

259
00:11:15,337 --> 00:11:17,556
(gasps) Look.

260
00:11:17,591 --> 00:11:19,445
Real live dead person.

261
00:11:19,517 --> 00:11:21,627
Come on. Maybe it'll stir something up.

262
00:11:21,662 --> 00:11:25,008
MINISTER: ...with so many
questions and so few answers.

263
00:11:25,723 --> 00:11:26,542
(quietly): Hi. Sorry.

264
00:11:26,577 --> 00:11:27,529
But it would be a mistake to think of today

265
00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:28,982
- as a sad day.
- (crying)

266
00:11:29,017 --> 00:11:31,225
Charlotte, if you would
please step forward.

267
00:11:35,907 --> 00:11:37,600
Our Father, who art in heaven...

268
00:11:37,635 --> 00:11:40,556
Jimmy, am I... Jimmy, am I crazy

269
00:11:40,642 --> 00:11:44,372
or is this funeral hella sexy?

270
00:11:44,430 --> 00:11:46,558
I don't know where that fetish came from,

271
00:11:46,593 --> 00:11:48,798
but it is absolutely...

272
00:11:51,194 --> 00:11:53,336
MINISTER: ...lead us not into temptation...

273
00:11:53,419 --> 00:11:55,502
Oh, my God, you're right.

274
00:11:55,537 --> 00:11:58,005
It's like the funeral from November Rain.

275
00:11:58,075 --> 00:12:00,293
♪ ♪

276
00:12:00,328 --> 00:12:03,113
(both moaning)

277
00:12:03,148 --> 00:12:06,293
Wait! Make sure to pull
out. I can't get pregnant.

278
00:12:06,328 --> 00:12:07,884
Your dad might be
floating around right now,

279
00:12:07,919 --> 00:12:10,165
looking for a body to reincarnate.

280
00:12:11,045 --> 00:12:12,161
Good call.

281
00:12:12,307 --> 00:12:13,806
- (panting)
- (moaning)

282
00:12:13,841 --> 00:12:16,465
(birds chirping, panting
and moaning continue)

283
00:12:16,500 --> 00:12:18,667
♪ ♪

284
00:12:25,064 --> 00:12:27,770
Um... too hard.

285
00:12:28,270 --> 00:12:30,273
♪ Berlin, Berlin ♪

286
00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:34,363
- ♪ She shines like a mirror ball ♪
- (speaking indistinctly)

287
00:12:34,398 --> 00:12:37,297
♪ A hot day, protégé ♪

288
00:12:37,332 --> 00:12:38,484
(speaks indistinctly)

289
00:12:38,519 --> 00:12:42,604
♪ She swings herself
around the pole slow ♪

290
00:12:42,639 --> 00:12:46,233
♪ She slips out of a prom dress ♪

291
00:12:46,268 --> 00:12:50,500
♪ And all the ladies wanna be her ♪

292
00:12:50,562 --> 00:12:54,395
♪ And all the grown men wanna cry ♪

293
00:12:54,471 --> 00:12:59,096
♪ But then I only wanna kiss you ♪

294
00:12:59,131 --> 00:13:01,938
♪ Just once, maybe ♪

295
00:13:02,007 --> 00:13:05,225
♪ Twice ♪

296
00:13:05,372 --> 00:13:09,544
♪ And I could show you the town ♪

297
00:13:09,650 --> 00:13:13,702
♪ If I knew where to begin ♪

298
00:13:13,737 --> 00:13:17,750
♪ And I could show you out ♪

299
00:13:17,785 --> 00:13:19,716
♪ If I wasn't on my way in ♪

300
00:13:19,786 --> 00:13:21,902
- Oh! Yes!
- (baby cries, others cheering)

301
00:13:21,937 --> 00:13:24,077
♪ But Berlin, she ain't
the kind of woman... ♪

302
00:13:24,162 --> 00:13:26,227
It's not real!

303
00:13:26,359 --> 00:13:28,276
It's not a real baby!

304
00:13:28,358 --> 00:13:29,627
Thank you.

305
00:13:29,662 --> 00:13:32,168
Okay, we got a little
distracted at that last place.

306
00:13:32,253 --> 00:13:35,004
But this is it: living fathers

307
00:13:35,056 --> 00:13:37,264
with their kids. That is some straight-up

308
00:13:37,299 --> 00:13:39,961
"Cat's in the Cradle"
shit right there. Plus,

309
00:13:40,015 --> 00:13:41,344
look at my dope maze.

310
00:13:41,396 --> 00:13:44,294
Usually, I'm a master of all art forms...

311
00:13:44,333 --> 00:13:47,956
writing, music, quips,
mixed media collage...

312
00:13:47,991 --> 00:13:51,598
but, for some reason,
I am creatively blocked.

313
00:13:51,679 --> 00:13:54,789
A sun wearing sunglasses.

314
00:13:56,167 --> 00:13:57,473
Doesn't even make sense.

315
00:13:57,508 --> 00:13:59,510
He's too bright for his own eyes?

316
00:13:59,584 --> 00:14:02,518
It's because you need to cry it out.

317
00:14:02,553 --> 00:14:04,645
Maybe you're right.

318
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:05,618
MAN: Jesus Christ.

319
00:14:05,703 --> 00:14:08,210
I don't even know what
to do with you anymore!

320
00:14:11,059 --> 00:14:12,505
And... jackpot.

321
00:14:12,540 --> 00:14:13,813
Go. Follow him.

322
00:14:13,848 --> 00:14:15,619
Maybe he'll rage-kick a garbage can,

323
00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:17,707
remind you of your dad. Go.

324
00:14:17,770 --> 00:14:19,023
All right. (clears throat)

325
00:14:19,058 --> 00:14:21,141
I will give it a go.

326
00:14:22,573 --> 00:14:23,739
(bell jingles)

327
00:14:24,118 --> 00:14:26,919
Hey. What you workin' on, buddy?

328
00:14:32,373 --> 00:14:34,077
Parenting, right?

329
00:14:34,112 --> 00:14:35,218
I don't know what to do, man.

330
00:14:35,253 --> 00:14:36,365
Mm.

331
00:14:36,881 --> 00:14:39,666
It's hard to communicate with them, yeah?

332
00:14:39,729 --> 00:14:41,591
Like you don't even
recognize yourself in them.

333
00:14:41,626 --> 00:14:42,849
I don't.

334
00:14:42,896 --> 00:14:46,316
You're frustrated because
he's a little clumsy,

335
00:14:46,351 --> 00:14:48,701
a little too artsy-fartsy,

336
00:14:48,736 --> 00:14:52,086
because he broke a blood vessel
in his eye crying at My Girl.

337
00:14:52,159 --> 00:14:54,558
What? No.

338
00:14:54,593 --> 00:14:56,213
He's legitimately a bad person.

339
00:14:56,268 --> 00:14:58,764
Like, my son is an awful human being.

340
00:14:58,826 --> 00:15:00,703
- What?
- He set up a bunch of Facebook accounts

341
00:15:00,776 --> 00:15:02,457
to cyberbully me.

342
00:15:02,492 --> 00:15:05,224
Hey, this bitch is bothering me.

343
00:15:05,283 --> 00:15:07,151
You trying to hit on my dad, twink?

344
00:15:07,186 --> 00:15:09,191
Jimmy, turns out this kid sucks.

345
00:15:09,272 --> 00:15:10,984
You suck! What kind of adults go

346
00:15:11,048 --> 00:15:13,504
to a paint-your-own-pottery
place anyway?

347
00:15:13,539 --> 00:15:15,023
Nasty-ass pedophiles.

348
00:15:15,101 --> 00:15:18,906
- (laughs)
- Oh, shit! (chuckles)

349
00:15:18,991 --> 00:15:20,947
- Don't go...
- Shut up, Greg.

350
00:15:21,029 --> 00:15:22,521
I wish you would call me Dad.

351
00:15:22,556 --> 00:15:24,840
Well, I wish you'd suck my dick.

352
00:15:26,808 --> 00:15:28,808
Oh, hey, emotion check.

353
00:15:30,311 --> 00:15:32,848
Actually, I think I
felt something that time.

354
00:15:32,887 --> 00:15:35,338
Really?! Jimmy!

355
00:15:35,373 --> 00:15:37,246
We're thawing your cold, dead heart.

356
00:15:37,281 --> 00:15:39,679
Hurry up! We got one more
stop on the sadness tour.

357
00:15:39,714 --> 00:15:41,726
Okay. Let me call an Edgar.

358
00:15:41,784 --> 00:15:43,131
(sighs)

359
00:15:43,189 --> 00:15:45,291
(line ringing)

360
00:15:45,354 --> 00:15:46,679
We're ready to go.

361
00:15:46,714 --> 00:15:49,180
And I sincerely hope
you've got our car booze.

362
00:15:49,242 --> 00:15:51,927
Sorry, Jimmy, I can't
come. My car broke down.

363
00:15:51,962 --> 00:15:53,236
Oh, well, that's not a surprise.

364
00:15:53,271 --> 00:15:56,979
Piece of shit with no
auxiliary plug or car booze!

365
00:16:05,933 --> 00:16:07,590
_

366
00:16:07,703 --> 00:16:08,772
All right.

367
00:16:12,853 --> 00:16:15,580
Great job. Here's a Sophie giraffe

368
00:16:15,643 --> 00:16:18,526
- for winning the skills section.
- (gasps)

369
00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:19,690
(chuckles)

370
00:16:19,725 --> 00:16:22,939
- Oh. No, that's...
- (squeaking)

371
00:16:22,974 --> 00:16:23,593
Okay.

372
00:16:23,628 --> 00:16:25,602
(gasps) I won a prize.

373
00:16:25,637 --> 00:16:27,431
You're such a natural mommy.

374
00:16:27,466 --> 00:16:29,772
One of the dads just
told me the neatest thing:

375
00:16:29,807 --> 00:16:31,381
babies are programmed

376
00:16:31,416 --> 00:16:33,427
to look like the father when they're born.

377
00:16:33,462 --> 00:16:34,820
Won't that be so adorable?

378
00:16:34,855 --> 00:16:37,659
A tiny little me suckling at your bosom?

379
00:16:37,694 --> 00:16:41,669
Wah, wah. (suckling sounds)

380
00:16:42,364 --> 00:16:44,415
Linds... (clears throat)

381
00:16:44,615 --> 00:16:48,015
that was actually quite... impressive.

382
00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:51,545
I can't believe I'm actually
saying this, but I think...

383
00:16:51,812 --> 00:16:54,166
you were born to be a mom.

384
00:16:54,201 --> 00:16:55,038
Thanks, Bec.

385
00:16:55,073 --> 00:16:56,476
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
- VERNON: Uh-oh!

386
00:16:56,511 --> 00:16:59,096
There's something's wrong
with my big ol' honkers!

387
00:16:59,227 --> 00:17:01,882
Ah!  No leche!

388
00:17:01,968 --> 00:17:04,849
- Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.
- Oh. This poor dear.

389
00:17:04,884 --> 00:17:06,570
He is so delirious from working

390
00:17:06,623 --> 00:17:07,979
- so many double shifts.
- Ooh...

391
00:17:08,068 --> 00:17:09,207
Paul, will you drive us home?

392
00:17:09,242 --> 00:17:11,792
Of course. See you at home, Mama?

393
00:17:11,827 --> 00:17:12,992
Sure, Pap...

394
00:17:13,125 --> 00:17:15,292
Paul.

395
00:17:15,448 --> 00:17:18,980
Um, hi, what is this?

396
00:17:19,015 --> 00:17:21,035
What do I look like, some baby lady?

397
00:17:21,070 --> 00:17:24,876
I'm sorry. M-My wife, she's
stuck at work... shocker.

398
00:17:24,911 --> 00:17:27,222
She gave me this shopping list, and,

399
00:17:27,293 --> 00:17:29,480
man, I have no idea what I'm doing.

400
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:31,713
Oh. Okay.

401
00:17:32,471 --> 00:17:33,581
Mm.

402
00:17:33,810 --> 00:17:35,942
Looks like you're gonna need
a Miracle Blanket, a Woombie,

403
00:17:36,023 --> 00:17:38,419
- a Boppy... really great neck support...
- Yeah...

404
00:17:38,454 --> 00:17:41,449
and, of course, Zipadee-Zip.

405
00:17:41,484 --> 00:17:43,513
It'll be quicker if I just do it.

406
00:17:43,548 --> 00:17:45,881
Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

407
00:17:46,725 --> 00:17:48,211
JIMMY: Well, Gretchen, you did it.

408
00:17:48,286 --> 00:17:51,763
I can't think of a place more
gloomy, more soul-crushing,

409
00:17:51,798 --> 00:17:55,488
more quintessentially England.

410
00:17:55,523 --> 00:17:58,732
(bad British accent): Yeah, I thought
you might want a wee English breakfast.

411
00:17:58,767 --> 00:18:00,534
- Excuse me?
- Don't be a berk.

412
00:18:00,569 --> 00:18:04,018
You know what I'm talkin'
about, Shitty Jimmy.

413
00:18:04,053 --> 00:18:05,539
Are you being Ronny?

414
00:18:05,574 --> 00:18:06,914
(American accent):
Today's been all abstract.

415
00:18:06,949 --> 00:18:08,487
It's time to personalize it.

416
00:18:08,522 --> 00:18:11,004
I even boned up on some
British slang online.

417
00:18:11,039 --> 00:18:13,551
(British accent): Blarmy!
Knob jockeys getting married?!

418
00:18:13,586 --> 00:18:16,021
Next thing you know, some ringburner's

419
00:18:16,056 --> 00:18:17,788
gonna want to shag and marry his dachshund!

420
00:18:17,823 --> 00:18:19,289
(shuddering): Oh.

421
00:18:19,381 --> 00:18:21,798
Almost felt something
again. Get more personal.

422
00:18:21,861 --> 00:18:24,107
Uh, talk about my ceramic pony collection

423
00:18:24,142 --> 00:18:26,112
or the time Fiona caught
me kissing a magazine cover

424
00:18:26,147 --> 00:18:28,237
of Boy George because
I thought he was a girl.

425
00:18:28,272 --> 00:18:31,213
Look at 'at pasty skin.

426
00:18:31,248 --> 00:18:33,593
Them soft girl hands.

427
00:18:33,628 --> 00:18:38,312
The poofy scrote never worked an
honest day in his whole miserable,

428
00:18:38,347 --> 00:18:39,476
sodding life.

429
00:18:39,513 --> 00:18:43,092
Now, you listen to me, you fat, grey void.

430
00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:46,302
Writing is hard! It is actual work.

431
00:18:46,337 --> 00:18:49,957
It's a noble, nay,
spiritual endeavor that taxes

432
00:18:49,992 --> 00:18:52,555
both the brain... Oh, my God.

433
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:55,306
This wretched idea of yours
might actually be working.

434
00:18:55,388 --> 00:18:58,260
- The feeling? It's back.
- Yeah, it's coming.

435
00:18:58,363 --> 00:19:01,866
Oh, my God. Here it comes.

436
00:19:02,791 --> 00:19:06,626
(farting)

437
00:19:08,144 --> 00:19:09,996
That was the feeling? A fart?

438
00:19:10,031 --> 00:19:13,066
Mm. Apparently. Well, I told you,

439
00:19:13,101 --> 00:19:14,651
I'm very evolved.

440
00:19:14,900 --> 00:19:17,050
Stupid therapist.

441
00:19:17,085 --> 00:19:18,634
I'm warning you, this better be it.

442
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,035
If you lose your shit on the cruise

443
00:19:20,108 --> 00:19:22,173
and ruin my time with Cotton Candy Raccoon,

444
00:19:22,208 --> 00:19:24,005
Bubble Gecko, or Sneezy Panda,

445
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:28,309
I... Well, she died in a
plane crash. But never mind.

446
00:19:30,489 --> 00:19:32,895
How do you even mess up toast?

447
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,133
(sputtering)

448
00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:38,904
Thanks so much for helping.

449
00:19:39,708 --> 00:19:42,521
Jesus, I'm already this overwhelmed.

450
00:19:42,576 --> 00:19:44,390
I don't even have a baby yet.

451
00:19:44,425 --> 00:19:46,502
How are you this good at it already?

452
00:19:46,537 --> 00:19:49,054
I have no idea. (chuckles)

453
00:19:49,089 --> 00:19:52,079
So now what? I'm just
stuck doing this baby shit

454
00:19:52,105 --> 00:19:53,938
for the rest of my life?

455
00:19:53,973 --> 00:19:57,941
What if there are other things I'm
meant to be and I never find out?

456
00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:02,429
- Like a phlebologist or a dinosaur?
- (chuckles)

457
00:20:02,491 --> 00:20:05,011
Once my ex and I split,

458
00:20:05,046 --> 00:20:07,484
I figured that was it.

459
00:20:07,987 --> 00:20:09,787
I was never gonna be a dad.

460
00:20:09,826 --> 00:20:13,096
Then I meet this cute Asian
chick at the Kubrick exhibit

461
00:20:13,185 --> 00:20:15,755
at LACMA and suddenly she's knocked up

462
00:20:16,545 --> 00:20:21,366
and I get this second chance at 42.

463
00:20:21,422 --> 00:20:23,551
So you believe in second chances?

464
00:20:23,620 --> 00:20:24,874
I didn't.

465
00:20:25,769 --> 00:20:27,716
But I guess I do now.

466
00:20:29,839 --> 00:20:31,354
(chuckles)

467
00:20:36,201 --> 00:20:39,363
Oh, Jesus. What the hell are
you doing? Are you insane?

468
00:20:39,398 --> 00:20:42,806
I just told you, I'm on my second chance!

469
00:20:42,841 --> 00:20:46,172
- I just thought...
- Oh, my God! What is wrong with you?!

470
00:20:46,207 --> 00:20:47,328
- Why would you even do that?
- Shh.

471
00:20:47,363 --> 00:20:48,360
- I talked to your husband!
- Okay.

472
00:20:48,395 --> 00:20:49,439
- He was so nice.
- Fine.

473
00:20:49,494 --> 00:20:51,568
We're going kayaking together sometime!

474
00:20:51,603 --> 00:20:54,425
- Shut up. Shut up. Shut up.
- This isn't a singles bar where you just pick up guys!

475
00:20:54,460 --> 00:20:56,924
- You're having a baby, you weirdo!
- Shut up, shut up,

476
00:20:56,959 --> 00:20:57,770
shut up.

477
00:20:57,810 --> 00:20:58,681
Shut up.

478
00:20:58,747 --> 00:21:01,135
- (squeaking)
- Shut up.

479
00:21:04,526 --> 00:21:06,960
- (whimpering)
- (squeaks)

480
00:21:07,046 --> 00:21:09,872
(door opens, closes)

481
00:21:14,066 --> 00:21:17,205
(door opens, closes)

482
00:21:17,240 --> 00:21:18,383
(Gretchen gasps)

483
00:21:18,434 --> 00:21:20,162
I got your snacks.

484
00:21:22,827 --> 00:21:23,775
It's too late.

485
00:21:23,810 --> 00:21:26,087
I've already lost an entire day's writing.

486
00:21:26,122 --> 00:21:28,122
(inhales) Sorry, literature.

487
00:21:31,316 --> 00:21:35,371
Mmm, rum Christophers; they're so
disgusting, I can't stop eating them.

488
00:21:39,585 --> 00:21:42,112
Hey! How was your thing today?

489
00:21:42,146 --> 00:21:43,063
Fine.

490
00:21:43,867 --> 00:21:45,509
Do you want to talk about it?

491
00:21:45,564 --> 00:21:46,404
(quietly): No.

492
00:21:46,457 --> 00:21:48,371
Yes! Two for two.

493
00:21:49,059 --> 00:21:51,059
(footsteps departing rapidly)

494
00:22:14,784 --> 00:22:16,292
(sighs)

495
00:22:19,709 --> 00:22:21,943
Well, Dad, here we are.

496
00:22:23,084 --> 00:22:24,998
The final test.

497
00:22:27,566 --> 00:22:29,213
(exhales)

498
00:22:29,364 --> 00:22:32,255
(sighs)

499
00:22:32,289 --> 00:22:34,289
(breathes deeply)

500
00:22:37,616 --> 00:22:40,046
♪ ♪

501
00:22:44,348 --> 00:22:45,095
(crying)

502
00:22:50,731 --> 00:22:52,549
That's it.

503
00:22:52,616 --> 00:22:54,356
Get it out.

504
00:22:55,455 --> 00:22:57,885
Let all the sadness out.

505
00:22:58,466 --> 00:23:00,152
Whoa! I thought you were crying!

506
00:23:00,202 --> 00:23:02,310
No. It's amazing.

507
00:23:02,344 --> 00:23:04,398
I was smelling the jacket that Dad left

508
00:23:04,464 --> 00:23:06,464
and it smelled exactly like him.

509
00:23:06,499 --> 00:23:10,111
Just cigarettes, ale,
beans, occupational failure.

510
00:23:10,154 --> 00:23:13,585
And in a rush, that feeling that
we'd been searching for all day

511
00:23:13,643 --> 00:23:15,860
just came flying out. And, Gretchen,

512
00:23:15,894 --> 00:23:17,812
it wasn't sadness.

513
00:23:17,846 --> 00:23:19,846
It was happiness.

514
00:23:20,420 --> 00:23:21,715
I'm free.

515
00:23:21,750 --> 00:23:24,499
I am finally free!

516
00:23:24,534 --> 00:23:27,099
And I'm finally unstuck creatively.

517
00:23:27,134 --> 00:23:29,074
I found, all right, the perfect metaphor

518
00:23:29,128 --> 00:23:31,722
for the heft of Kitty's adolescent bottom.

519
00:23:31,779 --> 00:23:34,289
I'll tell you later. It's-it's too sexy.

520
00:23:34,323 --> 00:23:35,662
(sighs deeply)

521
00:23:35,697 --> 00:23:36,849
Do you want to go, uh, binge-watch

522
00:23:36,884 --> 00:23:38,937
that six-part series
on the Susan Smith case?

523
00:23:38,972 --> 00:23:39,921
Yeah. Just a sec.

524
00:23:39,955 --> 00:23:42,408
Now that my parental
nightmare is finally over,

525
00:23:42,443 --> 00:23:45,218
I'm gonna get rid of everything that smacks

526
00:23:45,253 --> 00:23:47,253
of Ronny Overly.

527
00:23:47,287 --> 00:23:52,203
May he rest in relative peace for
someone of his arterial calcification.

528
00:23:52,857 --> 00:23:53,646
(drawer closes)

529
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:55,680
(cloth hanger clattering)

530
00:23:55,758 --> 00:23:56,256
(drawer closes)

531
00:23:56,291 --> 00:23:59,071
- (sighs)
- ♪ I wouldn't feel so uncertain ♪

532
00:24:00,421 --> 00:24:04,190
♪ I wouldn't feel so uncertain ♪

533
00:24:04,727 --> 00:24:05,336
(drawer creaks open)

534
00:24:05,370 --> 00:24:08,609
♪ That when your body hit the earth ♪

535
00:24:10,147 --> 00:24:14,015
♪ It opened up and swallowed you ♪

536
00:24:15,398 --> 00:24:18,300
♪ She kept you safe
in her heart's center ♪