﻿1
00:00:01,513 --> 00:00:03,096
- (LAUGHING)
- _

2
00:00:09,154 --> 00:00:10,820
(EXCLAIMING)

3
00:00:15,360 --> 00:00:17,193
- (SCHOOL BELL RINGING)
- _

4
00:00:20,031 --> 00:00:21,030
(BARNEY BELCHES)

5
00:00:21,083 --> 00:00:23,032
(WHISTLE BLOWS)

6
00:00:23,085 --> 00:00:24,951
(YELLS)

7
00:00:26,088 --> 00:00:27,537
♪ ♪

8
00:00:27,589 --> 00:00:29,622
(PLAYING MELODIC HARP)

9
00:00:37,382 --> 00:00:38,681
D'oh!

10
00:00:38,717 --> 00:00:39,682
(TIRES SCREECHING)

11
00:00:39,718 --> 00:00:41,384
(GRUNTS)

12
00:00:41,470 --> 00:00:43,303
(WIND WHISTLING)

13
00:00:45,941 --> 00:00:47,140
(TIRES SCREECHING)

14
00:00:47,225 --> 00:00:49,392
(MILHOUSE GRUNTING)

15
00:00:49,478 --> 00:00:50,393
(BIRD SQUAWKING)

16
00:00:53,949 --> 00:00:55,698
(SELMA AND PATTY GRUNT)

17
00:00:55,734 --> 00:00:56,900
Ow.

18
00:00:58,403 --> 00:00:59,869
(SQUAWKING)

19
00:00:59,905 --> 00:01:01,738
(HOMER YELLING, GRUNTING)

20
00:01:01,823 --> 00:01:04,457
(PLAYING THE BLUES)

21
00:01:04,543 --> 00:01:06,209
(WIND GUSTS, EXPLOSION)

22
00:01:06,244 --> 00:01:07,160
Hola.

23
00:01:09,498 --> 00:01:10,914
♪ Simpsons Time ♪

24
00:01:10,999 --> 00:01:12,081
- ♪ Run, don't walk ♪
- (SNIFFING)

25
00:01:12,134 --> 00:01:13,583
♪ You might even hear ♪

26
00:01:13,635 --> 00:01:15,084
♪ Maggie talk ♪

27
00:01:15,170 --> 00:01:17,253
♪ Bart the Boy and a dog named Homer ♪

28
00:01:17,339 --> 00:01:18,922
♪ And jokes written on signs ♪

29
00:01:18,974 --> 00:01:20,974
- ♪ It's Simpsons Time. ♪
- Yay!

30
00:01:21,059 --> 00:01:22,342
(HOMER GRUNTS, YELLS)

31
00:01:22,367 --> 00:01:25,271
- sync and corrections by Caio -
- www.addic7ed.com -
<font color="#0000a0">Resync by jasonnguyen2606</font>

32
00:01:29,734 --> 00:01:32,769
What a beautiful day
for a family stroll.

33
00:01:32,854 --> 00:01:36,105
Tell that to my aching back!

34
00:01:36,158 --> 00:01:38,274
(GROANS)

35
00:01:38,326 --> 00:01:39,826
It's not a family stroll...
Homer forgot where

36
00:01:39,911 --> 00:01:42,362
he parked his car last night,
and now we have to find it.

37
00:01:42,447 --> 00:01:45,248
What a beautiful day to be in denial.

38
00:01:45,283 --> 00:01:46,666
Yeah, Bart. Who cares?

39
00:01:46,751 --> 00:01:48,701
The sun is shining, birds are singing...

40
00:01:48,787 --> 00:01:52,121
people are staring up
at the sky in terror?

41
00:01:52,207 --> 00:01:53,423
(SIMPSONS SHRIEK)

42
00:01:54,793 --> 00:01:56,526
Do you see it, Lisa?

43
00:01:56,595 --> 00:01:59,345
There's... nothing... there.

44
00:01:59,431 --> 00:02:02,298
And that's where Lard Lad used to be!

45
00:02:02,350 --> 00:02:04,050
Oh, looks like we better file a report

46
00:02:04,135 --> 00:02:05,802
with the Bureau of Missing Statues.

47
00:02:05,854 --> 00:02:09,305
Yeah. Be like that time that
Rodin statue got stolen.

48
00:02:09,391 --> 00:02:11,808
What was the name of
that statue again? Eh...

49
00:02:11,860 --> 00:02:13,476
Ah, let me think. Um...

50
00:02:13,528 --> 00:02:14,694
Thinkin'.

51
00:02:14,779 --> 00:02:16,396
Yeah, still thinkin'.

52
00:02:16,481 --> 00:02:19,649
Still thinkin'.

53
00:02:19,701 --> 00:02:21,568
Uh, either we can fan out and search,

54
00:02:21,653 --> 00:02:23,152
or bunch up and riot.

55
00:02:23,205 --> 00:02:26,322
Oh, balderdash and poppycock.
I say we do not riot.

56
00:02:26,408 --> 00:02:27,574
ALL: Riot!

57
00:02:27,659 --> 00:02:28,791
ALL: Don't!

58
00:02:28,827 --> 00:02:30,293
Riot!

59
00:02:30,328 --> 00:02:31,494
Don't!

60
00:02:31,580 --> 00:02:32,829
Riot!

61
00:02:33,248 --> 00:02:35,048
(ALL YELLING)

62
00:02:36,501 --> 00:02:38,501
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

63
00:02:38,553 --> 00:02:39,385
(GRUNTS)

64
00:02:45,260 --> 00:02:47,844
And thanks to the equal
number of nonrioters,

65
00:02:47,929 --> 00:02:50,847
the total cost of the
damage is zero dollars.

66
00:02:50,899 --> 00:02:52,515
Homer, were you in that riot?

67
00:02:52,601 --> 00:02:53,683
Marge, please.

68
00:02:53,768 --> 00:02:55,768
I'm a leader in this community.

69
00:02:55,854 --> 00:02:57,820
BROCKMAN: In response to the outcry,

70
00:02:57,856 --> 00:02:59,489
- (ALARM RINGING)
- Lard Lad's parent company,

71
00:02:59,524 --> 00:03:01,491
Tianjin Mining and Smelting and Donuts,

72
00:03:01,526 --> 00:03:02,992
has issued the following statement:

73
00:03:03,028 --> 00:03:06,663
"We are rebranding Lard Lad
with an updated statue."

74
00:03:06,698 --> 00:03:08,531
Ooh, rebranding.

75
00:03:08,583 --> 00:03:10,450
That just means admitting failure, Dad.

76
00:03:10,535 --> 00:03:12,752
Ooh, admitting failure.

77
00:03:12,837 --> 00:03:14,203
People of Springfield,

78
00:03:14,289 --> 00:03:16,172
please welcome Mr....

79
00:03:16,207 --> 00:03:19,208
I know I'm gonna mangle this...
Lee Fong.

80
00:03:19,261 --> 00:03:21,427
Uh, actually, it's
pronounced Robert Chan.

81
00:03:21,513 --> 00:03:23,012
(MOANS)

82
00:03:23,048 --> 00:03:26,766
And now, please welcome the model
for the original Lard Lad,

83
00:03:26,851 --> 00:03:28,685
Mr. Laird Lad.

84
00:03:28,720 --> 00:03:30,103
A lot of crazy names today.

85
00:03:32,190 --> 00:03:35,191
Ladies and gentlemen, I
give you Lard Lad's bold,

86
00:03:35,226 --> 00:03:37,110
focus-grouped, new look!

87
00:03:38,229 --> 00:03:40,363
(MECHANICAL WHIRRING)

88
00:03:40,398 --> 00:03:41,731
(STATUE SQUEAKING)

89
00:03:41,783 --> 00:03:43,616
That doesn't say donuts!

90
00:03:43,702 --> 00:03:46,069
That says management overthink!

91
00:03:46,154 --> 00:03:47,236
The Thinker!

92
00:03:47,289 --> 00:03:48,538
That statue's called The Thinker.

93
00:03:48,573 --> 00:03:49,539
(LAUGHS)

94
00:03:49,574 --> 00:03:50,573
What? What are we on now?

95
00:03:50,659 --> 00:03:51,908
What?

96
00:03:51,960 --> 00:03:54,711
People, let's give the
new statue a chance.

97
00:03:54,746 --> 00:03:56,913
When the Eiffel Tower was first built,

98
00:03:56,998 --> 00:03:59,582
many said it was a steel monstrosity.

99
00:03:59,634 --> 00:04:01,301
It still is.

100
00:04:01,386 --> 00:04:03,970
Fine, but maybe this will grow on you.

101
00:04:04,055 --> 00:04:05,838
Aw, this thing sucks. I don't think so.

102
00:04:05,924 --> 00:04:07,090
(OVERLAPPING DISAPPROVAL)

103
00:04:07,175 --> 00:04:08,808
Well, at-at-at a certain angle...

104
00:04:08,893 --> 00:04:09,926
It's beautiful.

105
00:04:10,011 --> 00:04:11,260
- We love it.
- That's beautiful.

106
00:04:11,313 --> 00:04:13,346
(ALL CHEER)

107
00:04:13,431 --> 00:04:15,431
(WIND WHISTLING)

108
00:04:15,483 --> 00:04:17,400
♪ ♪

109
00:04:17,435 --> 00:04:18,401
You fools!

110
00:04:18,436 --> 00:04:19,402
You've erected a massive

111
00:04:19,437 --> 00:04:21,487
concave reflective surface.

112
00:04:21,573 --> 00:04:24,440
It will focus the sun's
beam in a deadly ray.

113
00:04:24,526 --> 00:04:27,160
(PEOPLE SCREAM)

114
00:04:31,950 --> 00:04:33,783
(GROWLS)

115
00:04:42,293 --> 00:04:44,460
- Yeah!
- Yeah!

116
00:04:44,512 --> 00:04:46,963
(ALL GROAN)

117
00:04:47,015 --> 00:04:48,681
(ALL GASP)

118
00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:49,766
- Oh.
- Uh.

119
00:04:49,801 --> 00:04:51,050
Hey!

120
00:04:51,136 --> 00:04:53,136
(GROANS)

121
00:04:53,188 --> 00:04:54,470
(GUN HAMMER CLICKS)

122
00:04:58,109 --> 00:05:00,476
QUIMBY: First off, I'd like
to thank the good people

123
00:05:00,528 --> 00:05:04,397
at Tianjin Smelting and
Mining and Donuts and Tarps

124
00:05:04,482 --> 00:05:08,234
for neutralizing our wonderful,
deadly, new Lard Lad.

125
00:05:08,319 --> 00:05:10,787
Yeah, that's great.

126
00:05:10,855 --> 00:05:12,221
They'll grow back.

127
00:05:12,290 --> 00:05:16,092
The time for mourning and
blaming our mayors hasassed.

128
00:05:16,161 --> 00:05:18,044
We will rebuild.

129
00:05:18,129 --> 00:05:20,463
We will rebuild.

130
00:05:20,498 --> 00:05:22,548
ALL: We will rebuild.

131
00:05:22,634 --> 00:05:25,218
We will rebuild!

132
00:05:25,303 --> 00:05:27,303
We will rebuild!

133
00:05:36,064 --> 00:05:37,647
(STRAINED): We will rebuild.

134
00:05:37,682 --> 00:05:39,565
We will rebuild.

135
00:05:39,651 --> 00:05:42,402
I guess there's only one
man we can turn to.

136
00:05:42,487 --> 00:05:43,569
Supergirl?!

137
00:05:43,655 --> 00:05:45,488
(OMINOUS ORGAN MUSIC PLAYS)

138
00:05:46,741 --> 00:05:49,909
So... you'd like me to save the town.

139
00:05:49,994 --> 00:05:52,028
Well, you've got gumption,
I'll give you that.

140
00:05:52,113 --> 00:05:54,580
(LAUGHING): And such an adorable baby,

141
00:05:54,666 --> 00:05:57,700
it really restores my... my faith in...
in the, uh...

142
00:05:57,752 --> 00:06:00,870
Smithers, where is the
damn trapdoor button?

143
00:06:00,922 --> 00:06:03,256
Mr. Burns, you already trap-doored us

144
00:06:03,341 --> 00:06:05,041
from your upstairs office.

145
00:06:05,093 --> 00:06:06,676
(LAUGHS) Yes.

146
00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:07,710
And how was your fall?

147
00:06:07,796 --> 00:06:09,378
Painful? Unexpected?

148
00:06:09,464 --> 00:06:11,464
- Oh, yeah.
- Worst I've ever had.

149
00:06:11,549 --> 00:06:12,715
- Oh! Really...
- Really...

150
00:06:12,767 --> 00:06:13,766
- Pulled something.
- Totally painful.

151
00:06:13,852 --> 00:06:15,301
Did not see it coming.

152
00:06:15,386 --> 00:06:16,552
(CHUCKLES) Excellent.

153
00:06:18,389 --> 00:06:21,974
So... remind me what I was saying no to.

154
00:06:22,060 --> 00:06:24,393
Funding repairs to the town.

155
00:06:24,446 --> 00:06:27,196
But if you could do even
one little project.

156
00:06:27,232 --> 00:06:29,031
Reducking the duck pond

157
00:06:29,067 --> 00:06:31,234
or fixing up the Springfield Bowl.

158
00:06:31,286 --> 00:06:33,402
The Springfield Bowl.

159
00:06:39,077 --> 00:06:40,493
Very well.

160
00:06:40,578 --> 00:06:42,912
I will rebuild this
town on one condition.

161
00:06:42,964 --> 00:06:44,080
Forget it.

162
00:06:44,165 --> 00:06:46,749
Our desperate plea is nonnegotiable.

163
00:06:46,835 --> 00:06:49,085
I want to put on a variety
show at the Bowl.

164
00:06:49,170 --> 00:06:51,921
A celebration of everything
wonderful about... um,

165
00:06:51,973 --> 00:06:53,139
what's the name of this town again?

166
00:06:53,224 --> 00:06:54,390
Springfield, sir.

167
00:06:54,425 --> 00:06:57,426
Yes, I will destroy Springfield.

168
00:06:57,512 --> 00:06:58,594
Celebrate, sir.

169
00:06:58,692 --> 00:07:00,950
Fine, we'll try it
your way first.

170
00:07:03,009 --> 00:07:05,844
Springfield has risen from
the ashes like a phoenix.

171
00:07:05,869 --> 00:07:07,518
That's phoenix, the mythical bird,

172
00:07:07,587 --> 00:07:10,872
not Phoenix, the cultureless,
Mars-scape of the Southwest.

173
00:07:10,957 --> 00:07:12,090
(CHUCKLES)

174
00:07:12,175 --> 00:07:15,877
Our unlikely angel,
the devil himself, C. Montgomery Burns.

175
00:07:15,929 --> 00:07:17,211
Thank you, Kent.

176
00:07:17,297 --> 00:07:19,597
(GROANS)

177
00:07:19,683 --> 00:07:23,384
And don't forget the open auditions
for my Springfield Follies.

178
00:07:23,436 --> 00:07:25,270
This year women may audition, too,

179
00:07:25,355 --> 00:07:28,890
with permission of husband,
father and pastor in writing.

180
00:07:28,942 --> 00:07:30,692
BURNS: Next.

181
00:07:32,729 --> 00:07:34,562
(CAT YOWLS)

182
00:07:34,648 --> 00:07:35,897
- (GENTLE MELODY PLAYS ON PIANO)
- (CLEARS THROAT)

183
00:07:35,982 --> 00:07:37,398
(COUGHS)

184
00:07:37,484 --> 00:07:44,372
(BEAUTIFUL SOPRANO VOICE):
♪ Un bel di, vedremo ♪

185
00:07:44,407 --> 00:07:51,212
♪ Levarsi un fil di fumo... ♪

186
00:07:51,247 --> 00:07:54,165
Puccini's a little
well-trod, don't you think?

187
00:07:54,250 --> 00:07:55,917
(YELLS INCOHERENTLY)

188
00:07:55,969 --> 00:07:57,218
This isn't right.

189
00:07:57,253 --> 00:07:58,586
This isn't how it was at all.

190
00:07:58,672 --> 00:08:00,305
I remember that night so vividly.

191
00:08:04,761 --> 00:08:07,095
Monty, time to go on stage.

192
00:08:07,147 --> 00:08:08,513
Yes, Mama.

193
00:08:08,598 --> 00:08:11,099
Your little butterscotch
drop won't let you down.

194
00:08:11,151 --> 00:08:12,734
Aw, who's candy?

195
00:08:12,769 --> 00:08:13,935
You's candy.

196
00:08:14,020 --> 00:08:16,854
Oh, I'm gonna lick you,
my sweet little lolly.

197
00:08:16,940 --> 00:08:17,939
Who likes Mommy's licks?

198
00:08:18,024 --> 00:08:19,490
Monty likes Mommy's licks.

199
00:08:19,576 --> 00:08:20,908
Lickity, lickity, lick.

200
00:08:20,944 --> 00:08:21,943
(LAUGHING): Oh, oh, oh.

201
00:08:21,995 --> 00:08:23,277
- (GIGGLING)
- Oh, ho, ho, ho.

202
00:08:23,363 --> 00:08:25,747
Oh. Oh, ho, ho.

203
00:08:25,782 --> 00:08:29,083
But the butterscotch soon
turned to bitter squelch.

204
00:08:29,119 --> 00:08:31,259
I want everything just
as it was back then.

205
00:08:31,343 --> 00:08:34,173
The stage filled with children
like those from 1913.

206
00:08:34,257 --> 00:08:37,959
High-spirited, snaggletoothed,
and willing to work 18 hours a day.

207
00:08:38,011 --> 00:08:39,293
SKINNER (OVER P.A.): Attention.

208
00:08:39,379 --> 00:08:42,630
An old man is prowling the school,
looking for young children.

209
00:08:42,682 --> 00:08:44,849
Please, perform for him.

210
00:08:44,934 --> 00:08:47,268
Watch me make this nerd disappear.

211
00:08:47,303 --> 00:08:48,219
(GRUNTS)

212
00:08:48,304 --> 00:08:49,604
Ta-da!

213
00:08:49,639 --> 00:08:51,189
Also, haw-haw!

214
00:08:51,274 --> 00:08:52,607
Excellent villain.

215
00:08:52,642 --> 00:08:54,275
And my cast is complete.

216
00:08:54,310 --> 00:08:56,527
I'll just save the list and...

217
00:08:56,613 --> 00:08:59,197
(GROANS)

218
00:08:59,282 --> 00:09:01,816
Samson himself could not
pry open these jaws.

219
00:09:01,901 --> 00:09:03,368
Can I help you, sir?

220
00:09:03,453 --> 00:09:06,204
Oh, women aren't meant
for clasp opening.

221
00:09:08,575 --> 00:09:10,124
Young lady, if there's one thing I know

222
00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:13,244
about show business, it's that
there are a lot of clipboards.

223
00:09:13,329 --> 00:09:15,747
How would you like to be
my assistant director?

224
00:09:15,832 --> 00:09:17,215
Hmm.

225
00:09:17,300 --> 00:09:19,000
And I'll be perfectly positioned

226
00:09:19,052 --> 00:09:22,253
to find out exactly what Mr.
Burns is really up to.

227
00:09:22,338 --> 00:09:23,337
I'm in.

228
00:09:23,390 --> 00:09:24,922
And if you need another act,

229
00:09:25,008 --> 00:09:26,891
I also play this.

230
00:09:26,976 --> 00:09:28,259
There's no room in my show

231
00:09:28,344 --> 00:09:31,179
for Adolphe Sax's vile-sounding o-phone.

232
00:09:31,264 --> 00:09:33,347
Do you ever say anything
in a simple way?

233
00:09:33,433 --> 00:09:34,348
Shut up.

234
00:09:34,434 --> 00:09:35,650
Well, that was clear.

235
00:09:35,685 --> 00:09:37,018
(BIRD CAWS)

236
00:09:37,103 --> 00:09:39,103
Hey, Homer, are you sure we haven't let

237
00:09:39,189 --> 00:09:41,189
the plant slip with Mr. Burns gone?

238
00:09:41,274 --> 00:09:43,441
Smitty, as a wise, old man once said,

239
00:09:43,526 --> 00:09:47,161
"Out with the old...
and in with the brew."

240
00:09:47,197 --> 00:09:48,996
♪ ♪

241
00:09:50,667 --> 00:09:51,499
(SLURPING)

242
00:09:53,536 --> 00:09:55,369
(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

243
00:09:59,259 --> 00:10:01,509
(ALARM BUZZING)

244
00:10:01,544 --> 00:10:03,428
(BUZZING ENDS)

245
00:10:09,302 --> 00:10:11,185
(HUMS)

246
00:10:12,689 --> 00:10:14,522
(VOCALIZING)

247
00:10:18,862 --> 00:10:19,944
That's enough.

248
00:10:20,029 --> 00:10:22,029
But I haven't started my act.

249
00:10:22,065 --> 00:10:23,481
Muntz, what have you got?

250
00:10:23,566 --> 00:10:25,066
A rabbit in a bag.

251
00:10:25,151 --> 00:10:27,068
Ooh, a promising magic trick.

252
00:10:27,153 --> 00:10:29,203
No, it's my lunch.

253
00:10:29,239 --> 00:10:31,038
Bah! You're all incompetent.

254
00:10:31,074 --> 00:10:32,740
I won't go through this a second time.

255
00:10:32,792 --> 00:10:33,908
Second time?

256
00:10:33,993 --> 00:10:35,626
Is there something
you're not telling us?

257
00:10:35,712 --> 00:10:36,911
A vast amount.

258
00:10:36,996 --> 00:10:40,915
And what part of "What I've never
told you" don't you understand?

259
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,885
♪ ♪

260
00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:46,087
(LAUGHTER)

261
00:10:48,842 --> 00:10:50,925
Mother, what is that
sound they're making?

262
00:10:50,977 --> 00:10:52,260
Well, it's called laughter.

263
00:10:52,345 --> 00:10:54,428
You're a laughingstock, Charles.

264
00:10:54,514 --> 00:10:57,515
(WHIMPERING): Oh, oh, it's awful.

265
00:10:57,600 --> 00:10:59,267
This show isn't good enough.

266
00:10:59,352 --> 00:11:01,352
No show could be good enough.

267
00:11:01,437 --> 00:11:03,104
(MUFFLED): It's not?

268
00:11:03,189 --> 00:11:05,907
(BIRD CHIRPING)

269
00:11:05,942 --> 00:11:07,191
(LIQUID POURING)

270
00:11:07,277 --> 00:11:11,279
(CHEERFUL SCATTING)

271
00:11:11,364 --> 00:11:12,446
What are you doing?

272
00:11:12,499 --> 00:11:14,699
Da-da-do-doo! Getting ready for Monday.

273
00:11:14,784 --> 00:11:17,118
I'm gonna fill a Super
Soaker full of lemonade,

274
00:11:17,170 --> 00:11:19,036
Carl's gonna fill one with iced tea,

275
00:11:19,122 --> 00:11:22,006
and we're gonna Arnold Palmer
Lenny when he walks in.

276
00:11:22,091 --> 00:11:25,793
(LAUGHING)

277
00:11:25,845 --> 00:11:28,095
Arnold Palmer Lenny.

278
00:11:28,131 --> 00:11:30,965
You're going to Arnold Palmer Lenny.

279
00:11:31,017 --> 00:11:34,936
Yeah, you see, Arnold
Palmer was a golfer

280
00:11:34,971 --> 00:11:37,138
and he made up this drink

281
00:11:37,223 --> 00:11:40,308
where it's not a full glass of lemonade

282
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:42,727
or a full glass of iced tea.

283
00:11:42,812 --> 00:11:44,312
Instead...

284
00:11:44,397 --> 00:11:47,031
Homie, I'm worried about all
this silliness at work.

285
00:11:47,116 --> 00:11:49,150
You're the safety inspector.

286
00:11:49,235 --> 00:11:51,652
I'm a safety inspector.

287
00:11:51,704 --> 00:11:52,820
Not the.

288
00:11:52,872 --> 00:11:54,155
I've never seen another.

289
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,574
What... wait, one safety inspector?

290
00:11:56,659 --> 00:11:58,125
For the whole nuclear plant?

291
00:11:58,161 --> 00:11:59,627
That's insane.

292
00:11:59,662 --> 00:12:01,162
(GIGGLES)

293
00:12:01,214 --> 00:12:02,797
Put everything in the car
and get out of town.

294
00:12:02,832 --> 00:12:04,916
I'll find you, if there are still roads!

295
00:12:05,001 --> 00:12:09,086
Sweetie, sweetie, all you've
got to do is be responsible.

296
00:12:09,172 --> 00:12:10,588
Your friends consider you the leader

297
00:12:10,673 --> 00:12:12,306
because you're a little taller.

298
00:12:12,342 --> 00:12:13,841
Hmm. Wow.

299
00:12:13,893 --> 00:12:15,343
Wow!

300
00:12:15,395 --> 00:12:19,146
With above-average height comes
above-average responsibility.

301
00:12:19,182 --> 00:12:21,649
Marge, thank you for
setting me straight.

302
00:12:21,684 --> 00:12:23,017
You're welcome.

303
00:12:24,153 --> 00:12:25,353
Okay, I want to open this show

304
00:12:25,438 --> 00:12:27,688
with someone being shot into a cannon.

305
00:12:27,740 --> 00:12:29,857
(LAUGHS)

306
00:12:29,909 --> 00:12:31,609
You're joking, right?

307
00:12:31,694 --> 00:12:35,529
Well, because, see, that's impossible.

308
00:12:35,615 --> 00:12:36,831
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY)

309
00:12:36,866 --> 00:12:38,499
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

310
00:12:38,534 --> 00:12:40,084
(SPUTTERS)

311
00:12:40,169 --> 00:12:41,926
Gah! Oh.

312
00:12:42,004 --> 00:12:44,255
Everyone, little miss
nitpick hates the show,

313
00:12:44,340 --> 00:12:45,756
so I'm shutting it down.

314
00:12:45,842 --> 00:12:47,959
("SABRE DANCE" BY ARAM
KHACHATURIAN PLAYS)

315
00:12:48,044 --> 00:12:49,210
This was an act.

316
00:12:49,262 --> 00:12:51,512
Now it's just bullying.

317
00:12:51,547 --> 00:12:53,431
(LIGHTS SHATTER ON THE GROUND)

318
00:12:54,884 --> 00:12:57,101
(BELLOWS)

319
00:12:59,626 --> 00:13:00,960
Thanks a lot, Lisa.

320
00:13:00,985 --> 00:13:02,406
We were getting out of school for this.

321
00:13:02,431 --> 00:13:03,430
(SHOES TAPPING)

322
00:13:05,204 --> 00:13:07,024
(DOORBELL RINGS)

323
00:13:07,673 --> 00:13:10,533
Well if isn't the little girl
that made a billionaire cry.

324
00:13:10,602 --> 00:13:12,435
May I please speak with Mr. Burns?

325
00:13:12,487 --> 00:13:13,603
No, he's very busy.

326
00:13:16,555 --> 00:13:18,355
Won't you please come
back and do the show?

327
00:13:18,441 --> 00:13:20,724
Shan't.

328
00:13:20,810 --> 00:13:24,144
(BIKE BELL RINGING)

329
00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:27,147
Oh, that bell has quite the recoil.

330
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:29,323
(BELL CONTINUES RINGING)
Oh, what is bothering him?

331
00:13:29,409 --> 00:13:32,213
And what were those weird
lines around his eyes?

332
00:13:32,323 --> 00:13:35,296
I know. It's such a tragedy
on that beautiful face.

333
00:13:36,833 --> 00:13:38,049
Come here.

334
00:13:38,134 --> 00:13:40,918
Well, there's only one explanation
for those lines, Lisa.

335
00:13:41,004 --> 00:13:43,304
He's been watching something
on the Mutoscope.

336
00:13:46,199 --> 00:13:48,149
So, if I play this,

337
00:13:48,216 --> 00:13:49,548
I'll know the answer.

338
00:13:49,737 --> 00:13:50,652
Mm-hmm.

339
00:13:50,730 --> 00:13:52,480
It, uh, costs a nickel.

340
00:13:54,567 --> 00:13:55,483
(COIN DROPS INTO SLOT)

341
00:13:57,020 --> 00:13:58,853
(FILM WINDING AND SPUTTERING)

342
00:14:05,745 --> 00:14:08,946
(LISA GASPS)

343
00:14:09,032 --> 00:14:10,281
(FILM CONTINUES SPUTTERING)

344
00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:17,705
So this is what made Mr.
Burns the monster he is.

345
00:14:17,757 --> 00:14:20,041
(GIGGLES)

346
00:14:20,126 --> 00:14:21,375
BURNS: Within days

347
00:14:21,461 --> 00:14:23,461
half of America was
cranking to my bottom.

348
00:14:23,546 --> 00:14:26,533
I think you're trying to make up
for what happened to you then

349
00:14:26,595 --> 00:14:29,216
by putting on a perfect Bowl show now.

350
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,560
(SCOFFS) Spare me you
amateur psychology.

351
00:14:31,645 --> 00:14:34,429
"Ooh, I saw my father decapitated
by a grain harvester

352
00:14:34,528 --> 00:14:37,224
"and now I can't enjoy wheat. Boohoo."

353
00:14:37,310 --> 00:14:40,227
Mr. Burns, I want you to
listen to that crowd.

354
00:14:43,066 --> 00:14:45,032
(FILM WINDING AND SPUTTERING)

355
00:14:45,068 --> 00:14:48,452
Do you really want to let those
happy, joyous people win?

356
00:14:48,538 --> 00:14:50,321
(FILM CONTINUES WINDING AND SPUTTERING)

357
00:14:53,376 --> 00:14:54,408
(INFLATE, THEN POP)

358
00:14:54,460 --> 00:14:56,911
Smithers, locate my dickey.

359
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,379
We've got a show to do.

360
00:14:58,414 --> 00:14:59,747
♪ I was gonna clean my room ♪

361
00:14:59,799 --> 00:15:02,166
- (LAUGHTER AND CHEERING)
- ♪ Until I got high ♪

362
00:15:02,251 --> 00:15:03,968
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪

363
00:15:04,053 --> 00:15:06,170
- ♪ I was gonna get up and find the broom ♪
- (LENNY GRUNTING)

364
00:15:06,255 --> 00:15:07,388
- (PHONE RINGS, THEN RECORD SCRATCH)
- ♪ But then... ♪

365
00:15:07,423 --> 00:15:08,756
Springfield Nuclear.

366
00:15:08,808 --> 00:15:10,841
Yes, yes, sir, I'll alert the workers...

367
00:15:10,927 --> 00:15:12,343
that the pizzas are here!

368
00:15:12,428 --> 00:15:14,979
(CHEERING, PARTY MUSIC PLAYS)

369
00:15:15,064 --> 00:15:16,764
Oh, yeah, here he comes.

370
00:15:16,849 --> 00:15:18,899
The life of this party!

371
00:15:18,935 --> 00:15:22,520
Who wants to get back to work?

372
00:15:22,605 --> 00:15:24,355
- (RECORD SCRATCH, MUSIC STOPS)
- MAN: What?

373
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:25,356
(BALLOONS SQUEAK)

374
00:15:25,441 --> 00:15:27,408
We are a public trust.

375
00:15:27,443 --> 00:15:29,777
We bring power to people's homes.

376
00:15:29,862 --> 00:15:33,698
Lightbulbs, toasters, and
that's all I can think of.

377
00:15:33,783 --> 00:15:35,282
Now let's buckle down!

378
00:15:38,087 --> 00:15:40,421
Okay, Homer, just let us
get our microwave popcorn

379
00:15:40,456 --> 00:15:41,622
out of the core.

380
00:15:41,708 --> 00:15:43,207
You're only supposed to do that

381
00:15:43,292 --> 00:15:45,292
when we're watching a movie in the core.

382
00:15:45,378 --> 00:15:47,928
(RAPID POPPING, THEN EXPLOSION)

383
00:15:47,964 --> 00:15:49,430
(CRICKETS CHIRPING)

384
00:15:49,465 --> 00:15:51,849
(INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS)

385
00:15:51,934 --> 00:15:54,885
(RAGTIME PIANO MUSIC PLAYS)

386
00:16:03,279 --> 00:16:06,063
(POP, THEN SQUIRT,
WINDSHIELD WIPERS THUMPING)

387
00:16:08,618 --> 00:16:11,369
(CHEERING AND WHOOPING)

388
00:16:11,454 --> 00:16:12,987
Thank you, thank you.

389
00:16:13,072 --> 00:16:14,321
Well, that's the easiest time

390
00:16:14,407 --> 00:16:16,741
anyone's had parking at
the Springfield Bowl.

391
00:16:16,826 --> 00:16:18,042
(LAUGHTER)

392
00:16:18,127 --> 00:16:19,627
- Don't you laugh at me!
- (LAUGHTER DIES DOWN)

393
00:16:19,662 --> 00:16:21,295
Now, enjoy the show.

394
00:16:23,132 --> 00:16:25,499
God always liked you best.

395
00:16:25,551 --> 00:16:28,169
No, God loves everyone equally.

396
00:16:28,221 --> 00:16:30,004
That's wonderful news.

397
00:16:30,089 --> 00:16:31,389
(CHUCKLES)

398
00:16:31,474 --> 00:16:33,340
Enough of your tomfoolery, Todd.

399
00:16:33,426 --> 00:16:35,009
Let's sing.

400
00:16:35,061 --> 00:16:38,179
BOTH: ♪ Michael, row your boat ashore ♪

401
00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:41,816
♪ Hallelujah ♪

402
00:16:41,851 --> 00:16:45,152
♪ Michael, row your boat ashore ♪

403
00:16:45,188 --> 00:16:47,738
♪ Hallelu... ♪

404
00:16:47,824 --> 00:16:52,493
Say, Sockie, who was that lady
I saw you with last night?

405
00:16:52,528 --> 00:16:54,412
(HIGH-PITCHED): That was no lady.

406
00:16:54,497 --> 00:16:56,184
That was your mother.

407
00:16:56,278 --> 00:16:57,832
(NORMAL VOICE): Oh, she'll date anyone.

408
00:16:57,867 --> 00:17:00,201
Why won't she give me a stable home?

409
00:17:00,286 --> 00:17:02,536
(HIGH-PITCHED): Haw-haw!

410
00:17:02,588 --> 00:17:04,422
(BELLS RINGING MELODICALLY)

411
00:17:06,292 --> 00:17:09,543
(BELLS STOP, XYLOPHONE PLAYS)

412
00:17:09,595 --> 00:17:12,596
(DRUMROLL, HATCH CREAKS)

413
00:17:12,682 --> 00:17:14,048
(CYMBAL CRASH, AUDIENCE APPLAUDS)

414
00:17:14,133 --> 00:17:16,434
Um, this is just a simple twins trick.

415
00:17:16,519 --> 00:17:18,636
They pulled the other
twin out of the tank

416
00:17:18,721 --> 00:17:19,970
behind the curtain.

417
00:17:20,056 --> 00:17:22,056
(APPLAUSE)

418
00:17:22,108 --> 00:17:26,894
(FIREWORKS EXPLODING, AUDIENCE
CHEERING AND WHOOPING)

419
00:17:26,979 --> 00:17:28,979
Wait, that wasn't part of the show.

420
00:17:29,065 --> 00:17:30,231
(SCREAMING)

421
00:17:30,283 --> 00:17:32,399
No. No, it's not fair!

422
00:17:32,452 --> 00:17:33,367
I was good!

423
00:17:33,402 --> 00:17:34,819
Arnold.

424
00:17:34,904 --> 00:17:36,120
- Palmer!
- (GRUNTING)

425
00:17:36,205 --> 00:17:37,788
(BOTH LAUGHING)

426
00:17:37,874 --> 00:17:39,907
(SIGHS) Fantastic.

427
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,042
What a finale, eh, Mr. Burns?

428
00:17:42,078 --> 00:17:44,795
Childhood trauma cured, huh, huh?

429
00:17:44,881 --> 00:17:47,164
That wasn't the finale.

430
00:17:47,250 --> 00:17:48,883
(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)

431
00:17:52,004 --> 00:17:54,889
Maestro, "Golden
Slippers," if you please.

432
00:17:54,924 --> 00:17:55,923
Ooh, boy.

433
00:17:58,761 --> 00:18:00,928
(SHUDDERS)

434
00:18:00,980 --> 00:18:02,513
We can't let him make a
fool of himself again.

435
00:18:04,433 --> 00:18:06,934
No, no, Mr. Burns needs to do this.

436
00:18:10,356 --> 00:18:12,490
♪ Oh, dem golden slippers ♪

437
00:18:12,575 --> 00:18:14,992
♪ Oh, dem gold... (STAMMERS)

438
00:18:15,077 --> 00:18:17,077
Ow, the burn. Ooh!

439
00:18:17,113 --> 00:18:19,780
Mr. Burns can't take the
impact of that many photons.

440
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:21,749
Those light-shining fools!

441
00:18:21,784 --> 00:18:22,867
(MUTTERING)

442
00:18:22,952 --> 00:18:25,169
Ow! Ah!

443
00:18:25,254 --> 00:18:29,089
(LAUGHTER)

444
00:18:29,125 --> 00:18:31,342
Oh, for a murder of crows

445
00:18:31,427 --> 00:18:33,594
to pluck out mine eyes!

446
00:18:33,629 --> 00:18:34,595
You.

447
00:18:34,630 --> 00:18:35,963
This show was your fault.

448
00:18:36,015 --> 00:18:38,382
Well, you'd better know this, mister.

449
00:18:38,467 --> 00:18:40,100
This town has my back.

450
00:18:40,136 --> 00:18:41,302
And... hey.

451
00:18:41,387 --> 00:18:42,469
Where did they go?

452
00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:45,356
How did 15,000 people leave so fast?

453
00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:47,358
Um... hey!

454
00:18:47,443 --> 00:18:49,810
Want to see me do a cartwheel?

455
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,645
(CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY, THEN GRUNTS)

456
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:52,696
(SIGHS)

457
00:18:52,782 --> 00:18:54,815
Always had trouble with those.

458
00:18:56,118 --> 00:18:58,235
Oh, I can't stay mad at you.

459
00:18:58,321 --> 00:19:00,571
At my age, I can't stay
anything at anybody.

460
00:19:00,656 --> 00:19:01,956
Oh, and you know what?

461
00:19:01,991 --> 00:19:04,074
The laughter in my head is gone.

462
00:19:04,160 --> 00:19:06,327
Go ahead, blow your German kazoo.

463
00:19:06,412 --> 00:19:07,328
Yes, sir!

464
00:19:07,413 --> 00:19:09,246
(PLAYING "GOLDEN SLIPPERS")

465
00:19:11,384 --> 00:19:13,584
Smithers, tap my foot for me.

466
00:19:13,669 --> 00:19:15,135
With impatience.

467
00:19:15,171 --> 00:19:17,388
Now, lift my arm so I
can check my watch.

468
00:19:17,473 --> 00:19:18,839
Oh, you really should start doing

469
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,507
some of these things yourself.

470
00:19:20,560 --> 00:19:22,906
♪ ♪

471
00:19:24,469 --> 00:19:28,190
- (SLURPS)
- Dad, why do Simpsons always fail?

472
00:19:28,215 --> 00:19:33,352
Oh, sweetie pie, it's a terrible
curse that goes back centuries.

473
00:19:33,437 --> 00:19:35,220
(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

474
00:19:35,306 --> 00:19:36,271
No, no!

475
00:19:36,307 --> 00:19:37,523
Don't answer that.

476
00:19:37,608 --> 00:19:39,975
MAN: We just need a place
to stay for the night.

477
00:19:40,060 --> 00:19:41,942
Oh, shouldn't we help them?

478
00:19:42,005 --> 00:19:45,364
Hey, in Zero BC, you
can't trust anybody.

479
00:19:45,449 --> 00:19:46,815
Curse them, Mary!

480
00:19:46,901 --> 00:19:49,151
You curse them, my water just broke!

481
00:19:49,203 --> 00:19:50,068
Please?

482
00:19:51,455 --> 00:19:53,071
(GOOFY SPRING SOUND)

483
00:19:53,157 --> 00:19:55,207
(LASER SOUND, THEN EXPLOSION)

484
00:19:55,292 --> 00:19:57,159
You're telling me that really happened?

485
00:19:57,211 --> 00:19:59,211
They looked just like us, didn't they?

486
00:19:59,296 --> 00:20:01,129
(RAGTIME BAND PLAYS)

487
00:20:10,341 --> 00:20:13,342
Tha-tha-tha-tha-tha-that's all, folks!

488
00:20:16,013 --> 00:20:18,597
- sync and corrections by Caio -
- www.addic7ed.com -
<font color="#0000a0">Resync by jasonnguyen2606</font>

489
00:20:54,885 --> 00:20:56,718
Shh!

