1
00:00:02,110 --> 00:00:03,245
Hey.
2
00:00:03,312 --> 00:00:05,947
I have something amazing to tell you.
3
00:00:06,014 --> 00:00:10,185
I was on my way back from
a delivery to Patchouli Julie...
4
00:00:10,252 --> 00:00:11,519
Smells like sophomore year.
5
00:00:11,586 --> 00:00:13,554
But, I was driving down Hyperion,
6
00:00:13,621 --> 00:00:15,891
and look at what I saw.
7
00:00:15,958 --> 00:00:17,927
Paige, every other building
in town has that tag.
8
00:00:17,993 --> 00:00:20,495
Soft Serve is like
the HPV of street art.
9
00:00:20,563 --> 00:00:22,998
No, no, no, Jordan. Look at my face.
10
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,134
I'm not upset at all.
11
00:00:25,201 --> 00:00:27,203
I mean, I didn't cry or blast Adele,
12
00:00:27,269 --> 00:00:28,604
or obsessively stalk him on Instagram.
13
00:00:28,671 --> 00:00:30,305
Don't you realize what this means?
14
00:00:30,372 --> 00:00:32,375
I am finally over Soft Serve.
15
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,242
Good for you.
16
00:00:34,309 --> 00:00:35,812
Hey, what is all this stuff?
17
00:00:35,878 --> 00:00:38,214
Uh, this is a useless box
of crap that my mom sent me.
18
00:00:38,281 --> 00:00:40,716
It's, like, old report cards, CDs.
19
00:00:40,782 --> 00:00:42,884
What the hell am I supposed to
do with old calling cards?
20
00:00:42,952 --> 00:00:44,887
Do these things even work anymore?
21
00:00:44,954 --> 00:00:47,523
But all of this is just
an excuse to send me these.
22
00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,426
"How to avoid being Single
and Childless by 30."
23
00:00:50,492 --> 00:00:51,738
Oh, "The Twenty-Something's
24
00:00:51,763 --> 00:00:53,428
Guide to Not Wasting Your Twenties."
25
00:00:53,495 --> 00:00:55,063
I'm throwing it all out.
26
00:00:55,131 --> 00:00:57,400
Oh, there's another package that
came addressed to both of us.
27
00:00:57,465 --> 00:00:58,967
I thought you might
want to open something, too.
28
00:00:59,033 --> 00:01:00,369
Aww.
29
00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,040
Wazaaap!
30
00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:07,677
You've been invited to Jenée's
31
00:01:07,742 --> 00:01:09,411
'90s themed birthday party.
32
00:01:09,477 --> 00:01:11,780
So bust out the scrunchies,
crack open your Goosebumps,
33
00:01:11,846 --> 00:01:13,748
but don't tell your friends,
34
00:01:13,816 --> 00:01:16,685
because could this party
be any more exclusive?
35
00:01:16,751 --> 00:01:18,687
There's a pre-party dinner,
a post-party brunch,
36
00:01:18,753 --> 00:01:20,354
a post-brunch hike.
37
00:01:20,421 --> 00:01:21,489
This isn't a party invitation.
38
00:01:21,557 --> 00:01:22,957
This is, like, a vacation itinerary.
39
00:01:22,991 --> 00:01:24,358
What, is she celebrating
for the whole month?
40
00:01:24,426 --> 00:01:26,762
- Yeah, it's Jenéeuary.
- Good one.
41
00:01:26,828 --> 00:01:28,598
No, that's literally
what she's calling it.
42
00:01:28,664 --> 00:01:30,399
See? "Jenéeuary."
43
00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,167
"Come celebrate the decade of my birth."
44
00:01:32,402 --> 00:01:34,338
_
45
00:01:34,363 --> 00:01:35,438
God, narcissists throw themselves
46
00:01:35,503 --> 00:01:37,071
the best birthday parties.
47
00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:38,173
She even has sponsors.
48
00:01:38,241 --> 00:01:40,742
Uh, drinks by Starving Girl vodka.
49
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,944
Edibles by Mary and Jane.
50
00:01:43,010 --> 00:01:44,613
Beats by Soft Serve.
51
00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:47,816
I'm not going.
52
00:01:48,958 --> 00:01:52,298
_
53
00:01:52,861 --> 00:01:57,192
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
54
00:01:57,861 --> 00:01:59,595
First of all, you're going to this party
55
00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:01,029
because it's a work thing.
56
00:02:01,096 --> 00:02:02,932
Who's gonna help me put out
the baked goods?
57
00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:05,568
Who's gonna help me hang the pot-ñata?
58
00:02:06,635 --> 00:02:07,937
I forgot about the pot-ñata.
59
00:02:08,004 --> 00:02:09,939
Yeah, we are gonna get
so many customers from this.
60
00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,807
People aren't gonna be able to
beat a super-stoned donkey
61
00:02:12,874 --> 00:02:15,910
with a stick without
thinking about Mary and Jane.
62
00:02:15,977 --> 00:02:17,646
It's one thing for me to see
his art on the street
63
00:02:17,713 --> 00:02:19,953
but I didn't think I was
gonna have to see him in person.
64
00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,250
I don't know how I'm gonna react.
65
00:02:21,316 --> 00:02:22,684
What if I cry?
66
00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,253
What if I throw myself at him
in desperation?
67
00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,022
What if I get drunk and take off
my top and start a fistfight?
68
00:02:27,088 --> 00:02:29,257
I don't want to invalidate
your feelings, but, like,
69
00:02:29,325 --> 00:02:30,492
that last thing would be awesome.
70
00:02:30,558 --> 00:02:32,493
I'm just saying, it's too soon.
71
00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,063
Paige, don't give him this power.
72
00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:36,231
It's not up to him to decide
whether you miss this party.
73
00:02:36,297 --> 00:02:37,566
He's not your fun lord.
74
00:02:37,632 --> 00:02:39,802
Okay, if anything,
you have to go to this party.
75
00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,937
Have the time of your life
right in front of him.
76
00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:44,440
- He doesn't get to decide.
- Exactly!
77
00:02:44,506 --> 00:02:47,441
If anything, he should be
nervous about seeing me.
78
00:02:47,509 --> 00:02:48,610
He should be terrified!
79
00:02:48,677 --> 00:02:49,745
You're right.
80
00:02:49,812 --> 00:02:51,112
I will go to this party.
81
00:02:51,178 --> 00:02:52,380
He's not my fun lord.
82
00:02:52,446 --> 00:02:54,916
I am my own fun lord. And you know what?
83
00:02:54,983 --> 00:02:56,284
Maybe I will get drunk
and take off my top
84
00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:57,452
and start a fistfight.
85
00:02:57,518 --> 00:02:59,887
I swear, I would pay money to see that.
86
00:03:03,023 --> 00:03:05,626
Hey, do you think this is '90s enough.
87
00:03:05,694 --> 00:03:08,030
God, I had the perfect '90s item.
88
00:03:08,096 --> 00:03:10,065
I had an original 8-ball jacket.
89
00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:12,134
Of course, that's the thing
my mom got rid of.
90
00:03:12,201 --> 00:03:15,170
It's 'cause my dad gave it to me
after they got divorced.
91
00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:18,340
And yeah, his younger girlfriend
Shana did have the same jacket.
92
00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:19,974
I mean, Shana was rad.
93
00:03:20,041 --> 00:03:21,642
She taught me to do a fishtail braid.
94
00:03:21,709 --> 00:03:23,812
She took me to see "Hellraiser 3."
95
00:03:23,879 --> 00:03:27,516
My mom got rid of the jacket
because she hated Shana.
96
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,083
Look at this, she highlighted stuff.
97
00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:31,820
"Chapter 3: Does your haircut
make you unemployable?"
98
00:03:31,886 --> 00:03:33,421
Does it specify the haircut?
99
00:03:33,488 --> 00:03:34,724
This has to stop.
100
00:03:36,992 --> 00:03:40,262
She hasn't changed her outgoing
message in, like, 20 years.
101
00:03:40,328 --> 00:03:42,230
- Leave your number after the beep...
- Number after the beep.
102
00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:43,347
You don't have to worry.
103
00:03:43,372 --> 00:03:45,222
I'll get back to you in a hurry.
104
00:03:45,247 --> 00:03:48,105
Hey, mom, look,
I got your box of useless crap
105
00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:51,072
and I just want to say that
I don't need any more old CDs
106
00:03:51,140 --> 00:03:53,830
and I don't need any VHS tapes
of "Quantum Leap."
107
00:03:53,855 --> 00:03:56,189
So you can stop using them as an excuse
108
00:03:56,214 --> 00:03:57,578
to send me self-help books,
109
00:03:57,646 --> 00:03:59,806
because I am fine.
110
00:03:59,831 --> 00:04:01,017
Maybe I should send you books
111
00:04:01,082 --> 00:04:02,684
about how to treat
your daughter like an adult
112
00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:06,054
and not give away her favorite jacket.
113
00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:07,756
I'm sorry.
114
00:04:07,823 --> 00:04:09,343
I wish there was something I could do.
115
00:04:11,516 --> 00:04:14,344
_
116
00:04:22,371 --> 00:04:24,673
Hola, chicas.
117
00:04:24,739 --> 00:04:26,408
Oh, my God. This party is so bomb,
118
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:29,011
it's gonna be strapped to a bus
with Keanu Reeves.
119
00:04:29,078 --> 00:04:31,947
- '90s.
- Oh, my God! Ginger Spice.
120
00:04:32,013 --> 00:04:33,148
Girl power!
121
00:04:33,215 --> 00:04:34,749
What is that?
122
00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,818
Oh, is that what they used to say?
123
00:04:36,884 --> 00:04:39,120
I'm actually too young
to remember the Spice Girls
124
00:04:39,187 --> 00:04:41,956
when they really happened...
I just love the dress.
125
00:04:42,023 --> 00:04:46,328
Anyway, so we've got '90s
karaoke, a Zima bar,
126
00:04:46,395 --> 00:04:48,998
a photo booth with
the fountain from "Friends,"
127
00:04:49,064 --> 00:04:52,635
and of course, the hottest DJ in L.A....
128
00:04:55,871 --> 00:04:57,306
Usually you have to book him
eight months in advance,
129
00:04:57,372 --> 00:04:59,074
but this time, he made an exception,
130
00:04:59,141 --> 00:05:02,143
'cause we're, like, supes tight
these days.
131
00:05:02,211 --> 00:05:04,078
Hey, Paige, would it be weird for you
132
00:05:04,146 --> 00:05:06,482
if Soft Serve and I started dating?
133
00:05:06,547 --> 00:05:09,651
I mean, I would never,
because we're such good friends.
134
00:05:09,718 --> 00:05:11,153
Unless it wouldn't be weird
135
00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:13,289
because we're not such good friends?
136
00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,925
- Wait, what?
- Anyway, we can talk about this later.
137
00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:17,860
I'm so happy you guys came...
138
00:05:20,392 --> 00:05:21,897
Paige, what are you doing?
139
00:05:21,963 --> 00:05:23,298
Looking like I'm having fun.
140
00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:24,966
Well, it looks like you're
airing out your pits.
141
00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,035
Hey, I have to fake it
'til I believe it.
142
00:05:27,102 --> 00:05:28,603
It's like the woman
who does the TED talk
143
00:05:28,670 --> 00:05:30,204
about posing like Superman.
144
00:05:30,271 --> 00:05:32,006
If you hold the confident
superhero pose long enough...
145
00:05:32,074 --> 00:05:34,809
I know, I know, you can't get
hit by real bullets.
146
00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,445
You didn't watch it 'til the end.
147
00:05:36,511 --> 00:05:37,580
You don't need a TED talk.
148
00:05:37,646 --> 00:05:39,047
What you need is a drink.
149
00:05:39,114 --> 00:05:40,415
- Stay right here.
- Okay.
150
00:05:40,482 --> 00:05:42,150
But please come back quickly.
151
00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:44,185
It's hard for me to look like
I'm having fun by myself.
152
00:05:44,252 --> 00:05:45,687
Oh, but I do know how to juggle.
153
00:05:45,754 --> 00:05:47,857
Just wait for me, okay?
154
00:05:54,862 --> 00:05:56,598
I like your outfit.
155
00:05:56,665 --> 00:05:58,167
Who are you? Kriss or Kross?
156
00:05:58,234 --> 00:06:00,269
Isn't it obvious?
157
00:06:00,335 --> 00:06:02,137
- And you are?
- Felicity.
158
00:06:02,203 --> 00:06:03,204
Dear Sally,
159
00:06:03,271 --> 00:06:06,141
Ben is so cute, but Noah's so nice.
160
00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:07,608
I'm thinking about cutting my hair,
161
00:06:07,643 --> 00:06:08,843
and it won't be the worst mistake
162
00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,310
I've ever made in my life, will it?
163
00:06:12,180 --> 00:06:15,917
So, uh, we could stand in line
for another 20 minutes
164
00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:18,020
for some super-lame themed cocktails,
165
00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,021
or we could go check out my '93 Bronco
166
00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,589
and line up some super lethal kush.
167
00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:24,059
Yeah, I don't know,
my friend's about to, like,
168
00:06:24,124 --> 00:06:26,026
put on a clown nose over there.
169
00:06:26,093 --> 00:06:29,098
But a real OJ-style Bronco
at a '90s-themed party?
170
00:06:30,665 --> 00:06:34,203
I mean, it would be
a shame not to at least see it.
171
00:06:37,372 --> 00:06:39,640
I mean, how could my mom not
think I'm successful?
172
00:06:39,708 --> 00:06:41,643
It's like,
I run my own (bleep) business.
173
00:06:41,710 --> 00:06:43,412
But she never got me, you know?
174
00:06:43,477 --> 00:06:47,449
I wish she was more like Shana,
who was my dad's girlfriend.
175
00:06:47,516 --> 00:06:48,917
She was so badass.
176
00:06:48,984 --> 00:06:50,986
Not like Barry, my stepdad, who, like,
177
00:06:51,052 --> 00:06:55,624
went to the basement and played
with his ham radio.
178
00:06:55,691 --> 00:06:59,828
You know, Shana and I had,
like, matching 8-ball jackets.
179
00:07:01,497 --> 00:07:03,032
Shana was cool.
180
00:07:03,098 --> 00:07:04,432
She...
181
00:07:07,169 --> 00:07:08,837
Dear Sally,
182
00:07:08,903 --> 00:07:10,738
looks like it's not gonna work
out between me
183
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,373
and the hot Bronco girl.
184
00:07:15,076 --> 00:07:17,011
Have you seen that DJ?
185
00:07:17,078 --> 00:07:19,881
I'm gonna ride him like
the front bike in my spin class.
186
00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:23,083
Damn it, Jordan.
187
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:26,122
God, I knew she was gonna do this.
188
00:07:28,756 --> 00:07:30,290
Damn.
189
00:07:30,357 --> 00:07:34,730
I would give anything to go back
and get that 8-ball jacket.
190
00:07:34,795 --> 00:07:38,033
That'd be so cool, right?
The '90s were pretty dope.
191
00:07:38,098 --> 00:07:40,569
Man, I wish I could go back to the '90s.
192
00:08:00,054 --> 00:08:02,256
Where is everybody?
193
00:08:02,324 --> 00:08:04,425
How far away did this girl park?
194
00:08:07,828 --> 00:08:09,198
Oh, my God...
195
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:13,836
I'm back in the '90s.
196
00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:21,911
Ooh, get two Jenées. One on each bicep.
197
00:08:28,017 --> 00:08:29,768
Oh, my God, Paige, I can't
believe this call went through.
198
00:08:29,793 --> 00:08:32,325
- That's amazing.
- Jordan, where the hell are you?
199
00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:33,942
Paige, I... I don't know
how to tell you this,
200
00:08:33,967 --> 00:08:35,858
but somehow, I've...
201
00:08:35,925 --> 00:08:38,135
I've traveled back in time to the '90s.
202
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,395
- You what?
- I don't even know
203
00:08:39,462 --> 00:08:40,601
how long this call is gonna last.
204
00:08:40,626 --> 00:08:43,565
It must be some sort of ripple
in space-time, or just, like,
205
00:08:43,632 --> 00:08:45,200
a really advanced feature
on the new iPhone.
206
00:08:45,268 --> 00:08:46,702
Jordan, you always do this.
207
00:08:46,769 --> 00:08:48,404
Every time you get high,
you disappear for an hour
208
00:08:48,471 --> 00:08:49,605
because you say you saw someone
209
00:08:49,672 --> 00:08:51,385
who looks like the genie from "Aladdin."
210
00:08:51,410 --> 00:08:53,166
No, Paige, if you could see
what I'm seeing, it's crazy.
211
00:08:53,191 --> 00:08:56,166
There's a payphone.
The receiver isn't even torn off.
212
00:08:56,246 --> 00:08:59,148
Paige, Mario Lopez is on TV, okay?
213
00:08:59,214 --> 00:09:01,483
He looks exactly
like he did in the '90s.
214
00:09:01,550 --> 00:09:04,054
There's no other explanation.
I've... I've traveled in time.
215
00:09:04,999 --> 00:09:07,055
Oh, my God, Jordan,
I cannot do this on my own.
216
00:09:07,122 --> 00:09:08,491
He's my Mr. Big!
217
00:09:08,558 --> 00:09:09,992
Okay, hey, I can be there for you.
218
00:09:10,059 --> 00:09:12,996
All I have to do is live out
the next 20 years.
219
00:09:13,061 --> 00:09:15,697
And then go to that party.
220
00:09:15,765 --> 00:09:18,167
So get ready, because I'm about
to walk through that door
221
00:09:18,233 --> 00:09:21,170
20 years older, right about...
222
00:09:22,804 --> 00:09:24,641
Now.
223
00:09:24,707 --> 00:09:26,075
Am I still hot?
224
00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:27,141
You didn't walk in.
225
00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:29,110
Oh, my God, that means...
226
00:09:29,178 --> 00:09:30,546
That means I die.
227
00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:32,881
That means I die
before I can go to the party.
228
00:09:32,949 --> 00:09:34,683
Look at a photo of me.
Am I disappearing?
229
00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:36,085
I'm hanging up now.
230
00:09:36,151 --> 00:09:37,819
No, no, no, no, Paige!
231
00:09:37,886 --> 00:09:40,088
I love you and there's $500, okay?
232
00:09:40,155 --> 00:09:42,559
It's in your sock drawer
where I keep my vibrator.
233
00:09:44,926 --> 00:09:46,929
God damn it!
234
00:09:48,897 --> 00:09:50,565
♪ If you wanna be my lover ♪
235
00:09:50,590 --> 00:09:52,916
♪ You gotta get with my friends ♪
236
00:09:52,941 --> 00:09:57,339
♪ Make it last forever
'cause friendship never ends ♪
237
00:09:57,405 --> 00:09:59,007
♪ If you wanna be my lover... ♪
238
00:09:59,074 --> 00:10:01,944
Time to summon the fun lord.
239
00:10:02,011 --> 00:10:03,045
Fun Lord.
240
00:10:13,555 --> 00:10:14,555
Oh!
241
00:10:14,589 --> 00:10:15,524
Jesus, Paige!
242
00:10:15,591 --> 00:10:17,760
You just hit me in the left tit!
243
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,060
Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.
244
00:10:19,127 --> 00:10:20,328
I was blindfolded.
245
00:10:20,396 --> 00:10:22,330
No, we didn't...
We didn't even spin you.
246
00:10:22,397 --> 00:10:24,367
And look at my pot-ñata!
You've ruined it!
247
00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:26,135
How is anyone gonna smoke that weed?
248
00:10:26,202 --> 00:10:27,436
It's soaking wet.
249
00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,973
And I am not paying for that.
250
00:10:32,808 --> 00:10:34,543
Okay, that...
251
00:10:34,609 --> 00:10:37,012
That was the best thing
that I have seen all night.
252
00:10:37,079 --> 00:10:38,381
The best.
253
00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:40,449
Looks like I needed to be
more humiliated.
254
00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:46,222
No, no, I'm not being sarcastic,
look, it was truly funny.
255
00:10:46,288 --> 00:10:48,891
I think you had the courage to
do what we all were thinking.
256
00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,259
So...
257
00:10:50,325 --> 00:10:51,926
Can I get you a drink?
258
00:10:51,993 --> 00:10:55,598
A Jenée-arita, or a Jenée-ito?
259
00:10:55,665 --> 00:10:56,598
No, no.
260
00:10:56,665 --> 00:10:58,034
Maybe a left tit and tonic.
261
00:10:58,101 --> 00:11:01,604
How about a tit-quila sunrise?
262
00:11:01,670 --> 00:11:03,171
There you go.
263
00:11:03,238 --> 00:11:05,139
Time travel log.
264
00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:07,742
The question is, how do I get back?
265
00:11:07,809 --> 00:11:09,179
I don't have a DeLorean.
266
00:11:09,245 --> 00:11:11,348
But there's some reason I was sent here,
267
00:11:11,414 --> 00:11:13,915
and only by fixing something in the past
268
00:11:13,982 --> 00:11:17,119
will I be able to return to the present.
269
00:11:24,626 --> 00:11:27,329
Whoa!
270
00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,330
Shana had these boots, too.
271
00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,132
Man, you guys have everything.
272
00:11:31,199 --> 00:11:33,069
Hey, don't get rid of any of this, okay?
273
00:11:33,135 --> 00:11:35,771
It is all coming back.
274
00:11:35,838 --> 00:11:38,474
I remember this one time,
Shana took my friend and I
275
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,242
to see a Slayer concert... I mean, like,
276
00:11:40,309 --> 00:11:42,612
we were too young to get in,
but she went in anyway,
277
00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:44,947
so we hung out in the parking lot
278
00:11:45,014 --> 00:11:46,349
with these cool scalpers.
279
00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:47,949
Shana didn't play by the rules.
280
00:11:48,016 --> 00:11:49,451
Shana didn't care.
281
00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:51,453
Shana was...
282
00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,889
A whore.
283
00:11:52,955 --> 00:11:54,155
Oh, my God!
284
00:11:54,223 --> 00:11:56,358
No wonder my mom hated her so much.
285
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:59,127
My dad left her for some skank
286
00:11:59,194 --> 00:12:02,198
who left me alone
in a stadium parking lot?
287
00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,735
My poor mother.
288
00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,537
Okay, wait for it...
289
00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:09,771
No, wait.
290
00:12:09,838 --> 00:12:11,273
Ta-da!
291
00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,242
Get the (bleep) out.
292
00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:14,876
No way. How did you do this?
293
00:12:14,944 --> 00:12:17,380
When I was in middle school,
I got Jack in the Box E. coli
294
00:12:17,447 --> 00:12:19,482
and pretty much stayed home
for two weeks
295
00:12:19,549 --> 00:12:23,352
and just watched music videos
and practiced origami and I...
296
00:12:23,419 --> 00:12:25,688
Wow, I've never said that out loud
297
00:12:25,755 --> 00:12:27,689
to another human before.
298
00:12:27,756 --> 00:12:29,058
That's so embarrassing.
299
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,593
I think it's adorable.
300
00:12:31,861 --> 00:12:33,663
I think you're adorable.
301
00:12:34,930 --> 00:12:37,165
Okay, uh, I'm gonna spoil you.
302
00:12:37,232 --> 00:12:38,166
I'm gonna go get you a Zima.
303
00:12:38,232 --> 00:12:40,135
- Ooh.
- Oh, I know.
304
00:12:40,202 --> 00:12:41,737
Don't go anywhere.
305
00:12:47,075 --> 00:12:48,377
Hey, sweet pea.
306
00:12:49,779 --> 00:12:51,947
Oh, hey.
307
00:12:52,014 --> 00:12:53,449
Uh, hey.
308
00:12:53,516 --> 00:12:55,150
I'm sorry I didn't come
say hello before.
309
00:12:55,217 --> 00:12:56,718
Jenée's got me working my ass off.
310
00:12:56,785 --> 00:13:00,857
She's gone birthday-zilla
on me tonight, you know?
311
00:13:00,923 --> 00:13:02,392
But, you look amazing.
312
00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:03,958
It's good to see you.
313
00:13:04,025 --> 00:13:05,861
- Thanks.
- Who's that guy you're here with?
314
00:13:05,928 --> 00:13:07,608
What is he, a date?
Somebody you're seeing?
315
00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:10,466
- Oh, n... No, no, we just met.
- Good.
316
00:13:10,532 --> 00:13:12,267
'Cause when I agreed
to come here tonight,
317
00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,237
the only thing I could think
about was seeing you here.
318
00:13:14,303 --> 00:13:17,439
The truth is, you're all I think about.
319
00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:20,410
You ever think about me?
320
00:13:23,445 --> 00:13:25,113
Everything's been so crazy with me.
321
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:28,251
It's like all the attention,
people wanting things from me.
322
00:13:28,317 --> 00:13:29,986
But you...
323
00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:32,387
You're the only one who knows
who I really am.
324
00:13:32,454 --> 00:13:34,589
You've always been the one, Paige.
325
00:13:34,656 --> 00:13:36,658
I miss you.
326
00:13:36,726 --> 00:13:38,261
I need you.
327
00:13:57,813 --> 00:13:59,448
You're amazing, Paige.
328
00:13:59,515 --> 00:14:01,984
I was lost without you.
329
00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,386
You're my muse.
330
00:14:19,334 --> 00:14:21,237
So...
331
00:14:21,303 --> 00:14:22,472
Still want the Zima?
332
00:14:23,673 --> 00:14:26,342
I actually am quite parched.
333
00:14:30,814 --> 00:14:33,283
Um, hey, Jordan, I don't know
where you are right now
334
00:14:33,349 --> 00:14:35,334
and you're probably
not gonna believe this,
335
00:14:35,359 --> 00:14:38,921
but I think I just got back
together with Soft Serve.
336
00:14:38,988 --> 00:14:41,772
Um, he says he can't stop
thinking about me,
337
00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:42,933
and he needs me,
338
00:14:42,958 --> 00:14:44,938
and I'm probably not gonna sleep
at home tonight,
339
00:14:44,963 --> 00:14:47,031
so just wanted to let you know.
340
00:14:47,098 --> 00:14:49,701
Yeah, call me when you get this, bye.
341
00:14:56,174 --> 00:14:59,907
Hey. Are you okay?
342
00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,648
My ex is in there.
343
00:15:02,849 --> 00:15:06,152
I thought I was over him, but...
344
00:15:06,219 --> 00:15:09,121
I know, it's the worst.
345
00:15:09,187 --> 00:15:11,557
He's just so hot.
346
00:15:11,623 --> 00:15:14,893
He's this famous graffiti artist
347
00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,595
and he's DJing the party.
348
00:15:18,431 --> 00:15:21,166
How long have you guys been dating?
349
00:15:21,233 --> 00:15:23,136
All last year.
350
00:15:23,201 --> 00:15:25,037
It was really serious.
351
00:15:25,104 --> 00:15:27,672
I mean, we almost got engaged.
352
00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:31,443
You know, he told me that I was
the only one who really got him.
353
00:15:32,512 --> 00:15:33,712
You know, that...
354
00:15:33,778 --> 00:15:35,748
he needed me and that I was...
355
00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:36,950
His muse.
356
00:15:42,153 --> 00:15:43,990
I can't believe I fell for that again.
357
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,985
Leave your number after the beep.
358
00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:58,508
You don't have to worry,
I'll get back to you in a hurry.
359
00:15:59,611 --> 00:16:01,539
Hey, Mom, it's Jordan.
360
00:16:01,606 --> 00:16:05,076
I guess it's probably weird to
hear my voice all grown up, um...
361
00:16:05,144 --> 00:16:10,483
Anyway, I'm just calling to tell
you that I finally get it.
362
00:16:10,548 --> 00:16:13,218
Like, I understand how hard
it must have been to raise
363
00:16:13,286 --> 00:16:15,788
a stubborn, opinionated daughter,
364
00:16:15,855 --> 00:16:17,188
basically on your own.
365
00:16:17,255 --> 00:16:20,925
I realize now that...
366
00:16:20,993 --> 00:16:24,397
you are the woman I should have
been looking up to.
367
00:16:25,865 --> 00:16:29,568
So I... I guess I'm just
calling to say thank you.
368
00:16:31,302 --> 00:16:34,072
And I'm sorry.
369
00:16:34,139 --> 00:16:35,908
And I love you.
370
00:16:37,176 --> 00:16:39,378
And just promise me that
371
00:16:39,445 --> 00:16:41,113
you won't let me get that perm
372
00:16:41,179 --> 00:16:42,914
my sophomore year, 'cause I just...
373
00:16:42,981 --> 00:16:44,992
I just feel like we don't need
to give Rodney Bodine
374
00:16:45,017 --> 00:16:47,619
any more ammunition
to make fun of me, so...
375
00:16:56,627 --> 00:16:58,263
Babe, what the hell?
376
00:16:58,330 --> 00:17:00,399
Shut up... Dennis!
377
00:17:01,601 --> 00:17:03,468
You know, I thought we had
something special,
378
00:17:03,535 --> 00:17:05,237
and I have spent so long
379
00:17:05,304 --> 00:17:08,340
trying to figure out what I did
wrong to push you away.
380
00:17:08,406 --> 00:17:10,541
But you know what?
I didn't do anything wrong.
381
00:17:10,608 --> 00:17:11,976
You're just an asshole,
382
00:17:12,044 --> 00:17:15,547
and I cannot believe
I wasted so much time on you.
383
00:17:15,614 --> 00:17:18,217
'Cause you know what?
You're not my fun lord.
384
00:17:18,284 --> 00:17:20,085
You're not my anything lord.
385
00:17:20,152 --> 00:17:21,821
You're nothing.
386
00:17:32,089 --> 00:17:34,861
♪ A scrub is a guy
that think he's fine and is ♪
387
00:17:34,886 --> 00:17:37,201
♪ Also known as a buster ♪
388
00:17:37,269 --> 00:17:39,538
♪ Always talking about what he wants ♪
389
00:17:39,605 --> 00:17:42,074
♪ And just sits on his broke ass ♪
390
00:17:42,141 --> 00:17:44,877
♪ So no I don't want your number ♪
391
00:17:44,943 --> 00:17:47,345
♪ No I don't want to give you mine and ♪
392
00:17:47,413 --> 00:17:50,015
♪ No I don't want to meet you nowhere ♪
393
00:17:50,082 --> 00:17:52,685
♪ No don't want none of your time ♪
394
00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:54,987
♪ No I don't want no scrub ♪
395
00:17:55,054 --> 00:17:58,224
♪ A scrub is a guy that
can't get no love from me ♪
396
00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:00,392
♪ Hanging out the passenger side ♪
397
00:18:00,459 --> 00:18:01,619
♪ Of his best friend's ride ♪
398
00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:03,629
♪ Trying to holler at me ♪
399
00:18:03,695 --> 00:18:05,363
♪ I don't want no scrub ♪
400
00:18:05,431 --> 00:18:08,834
♪ A scrub is a guy that
can't get no love from me ♪
401
00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:10,469
♪ Hanging out the passenger side ♪
402
00:18:10,536 --> 00:18:11,937
♪ Of his best friend's ride ♪
403
00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:14,005
♪ Trying to holler at me ♪
404
00:18:25,651 --> 00:18:26,884
I don't get it.
405
00:18:26,951 --> 00:18:29,054
What else do I have to fix to go back?
406
00:18:29,121 --> 00:18:31,124
Tell everybody not to worry about Y2K?
407
00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:34,059
Warn women to stay away from Bill Cosby?
408
00:18:37,796 --> 00:18:39,297
Hey!
409
00:18:39,365 --> 00:18:40,665
Listen.
410
00:18:40,732 --> 00:18:43,268
When you grow up, I want you
to stay the hell away
411
00:18:43,335 --> 00:18:44,603
from my best friend Paige,
412
00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:46,839
because she deserves
way better than you.
413
00:18:46,905 --> 00:18:48,940
Understand me, you little shit?
414
00:18:49,007 --> 00:18:50,109
Beat it!
415
00:18:59,852 --> 00:19:02,922
Well, my work here is done.
416
00:19:02,989 --> 00:19:04,123
Time to go home.
417
00:19:08,728 --> 00:19:10,028
Time...
418
00:19:10,095 --> 00:19:12,499
Time to go home.
419
00:19:12,524 --> 00:19:14,526
Ooh...
420
00:19:20,138 --> 00:19:22,040
- Jordan?
- Paige!
421
00:19:22,106 --> 00:19:23,576
I did it!
422
00:19:23,642 --> 00:19:25,010
I'm back!
423
00:19:26,979 --> 00:19:28,114
Paige...
424
00:19:34,386 --> 00:19:36,188
So, the '90s.
425
00:19:36,256 --> 00:19:37,854
Yeah.
426
00:19:38,858 --> 00:19:41,627
I bet if we dry this out tomorrow,
we can still smoke most of it.
427
00:19:41,652 --> 00:19:43,487
Sounds like an ideal Sunday.
428
00:19:43,554 --> 00:19:47,624
Hey, I'm sorry I left you alone
to deal with Soft Serve.
429
00:19:47,691 --> 00:19:49,693
Who's Soft Serve?
430
00:19:52,496 --> 00:19:54,666
Holy shit!
431
00:19:54,731 --> 00:19:56,300
I did it.
432
00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:58,268
I changed the future.
433
00:19:58,292 --> 00:20:01,646
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com