1 00:00:00,142 --> 00:00:02,043 ♪♪ 2 00:00:02,110 --> 00:00:03,245 Hey. 3 00:00:03,312 --> 00:00:05,947 I have something amazing to tell you. 4 00:00:06,014 --> 00:00:10,185 I was on my way back from a delivery to Patchouli Julie... 5 00:00:10,252 --> 00:00:11,519 Smells like sophomore year. 6 00:00:11,586 --> 00:00:13,554 But, I was driving down Hyperion, 7 00:00:13,621 --> 00:00:15,891 and look at what I saw. 8 00:00:15,958 --> 00:00:17,927 Paige, every other building in town has that tag. 9 00:00:17,993 --> 00:00:20,495 Soft Serve is like the HPV of street art. 10 00:00:20,563 --> 00:00:22,998 No, no, no, Jordan. Look at my face. 11 00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:25,134 I'm not upset at all. 12 00:00:25,201 --> 00:00:27,203 I mean, I didn't cry or blast Adele, 13 00:00:27,269 --> 00:00:28,604 or obsessively stalk him on Instagram. 14 00:00:28,671 --> 00:00:30,305 Don't you realize what this means? 15 00:00:30,372 --> 00:00:32,375 I am finally over Soft Serve. 16 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,242 Good for you. 17 00:00:34,309 --> 00:00:35,812 Hey, what is all this stuff? 18 00:00:35,878 --> 00:00:38,214 Uh, this is a useless box of crap that my mom sent me. 19 00:00:38,281 --> 00:00:40,716 It's, like, old report cards, CDs. 20 00:00:40,782 --> 00:00:42,884 What the hell am I supposed to do with old calling cards? 21 00:00:42,952 --> 00:00:44,887 Do these things even work anymore? 22 00:00:44,954 --> 00:00:47,523 But all of this is just an excuse to send me these. 23 00:00:47,589 --> 00:00:50,426 "How to avoid being Single and Childless by 30." 24 00:00:50,492 --> 00:00:51,738 Oh, "The Twenty-Something's 25 00:00:51,763 --> 00:00:53,428 Guide to Not Wasting Your Twenties." 26 00:00:53,495 --> 00:00:55,063 I'm throwing it all out. 27 00:00:55,131 --> 00:00:57,400 Oh, there's another package that came addressed to both of us. 28 00:00:57,465 --> 00:00:58,967 I thought you might want to open something, too. 29 00:00:59,033 --> 00:01:00,369 Aww. 30 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:06,040 (Jenée's recording) Wazaaap! 31 00:01:06,108 --> 00:01:07,677 You've been invited to Jenée's 32 00:01:07,742 --> 00:01:09,411 '90s themed birthday party. 33 00:01:09,477 --> 00:01:11,780 So bust out the scrunchies, crack open your Goosebumps, 34 00:01:11,846 --> 00:01:13,748 but don't tell your friends, 35 00:01:13,816 --> 00:01:16,685 because could this party be any more exclusive? 36 00:01:16,751 --> 00:01:18,687 There's a pre-party dinner, a post-party brunch, 37 00:01:18,753 --> 00:01:20,354 a post-brunch hike. 38 00:01:20,421 --> 00:01:21,489 This isn't a party invitation. 39 00:01:21,557 --> 00:01:22,957 This is, like, a vacation itinerary. 40 00:01:22,991 --> 00:01:24,358 What, is she celebrating for the whole month? 41 00:01:24,426 --> 00:01:26,762 - Yeah, it's Jenéeuary. - Good one. 42 00:01:26,828 --> 00:01:28,598 No, that's literally what she's calling it. 43 00:01:28,664 --> 00:01:30,399 See? "Jenéeuary." 44 00:01:30,465 --> 00:01:32,167 "Come celebrate the decade of my birth." 45 00:01:32,402 --> 00:01:34,338 - (whining) - _ 46 00:01:34,363 --> 00:01:35,438 God, narcissists throw themselves 47 00:01:35,503 --> 00:01:37,071 the best birthday parties. 48 00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:38,173 She even has sponsors. 49 00:01:38,241 --> 00:01:40,742 Uh, drinks by Starving Girl vodka. 50 00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,944 Edibles by Mary and Jane. 51 00:01:43,010 --> 00:01:44,613 Beats by Soft Serve. 52 00:01:46,482 --> 00:01:47,816 I'm not going. 53 00:01:48,958 --> 00:01:52,298 _ 54 00:01:52,861 --> 00:01:54,851 ♪ Say baby what's your name? ♪ 55 00:01:54,876 --> 00:01:56,111 ♪ Are you the one Mary? ♪ 56 00:01:56,136 --> 00:01:57,142 ♪ Are you Jane? ♪ 57 00:01:57,861 --> 00:01:59,595 First of all, you're going to this party 58 00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:01,029 because it's a work thing. 59 00:02:01,096 --> 00:02:02,932 Who's gonna help me put out the baked goods? 60 00:02:02,998 --> 00:02:05,568 Who's gonna help me hang the pot-ñata? 61 00:02:06,635 --> 00:02:07,937 I forgot about the pot-ñata. 62 00:02:08,004 --> 00:02:09,939 Yeah, we are gonna get so many customers from this. 63 00:02:10,005 --> 00:02:12,807 People aren't gonna be able to beat a super-stoned donkey 64 00:02:12,874 --> 00:02:15,910 with a stick without thinking about Mary and Jane. 65 00:02:15,977 --> 00:02:17,646 It's one thing for me to see his art on the street 66 00:02:17,713 --> 00:02:19,953 but I didn't think I was gonna have to see him in person. 67 00:02:20,015 --> 00:02:21,250 I don't know how I'm gonna react. 68 00:02:21,316 --> 00:02:22,684 What if I cry? 69 00:02:22,750 --> 00:02:24,253 What if I throw myself at him in desperation? 70 00:02:24,320 --> 00:02:27,022 What if I get drunk and take off my top and start a fistfight? 71 00:02:27,088 --> 00:02:29,257 I don't want to invalidate your feelings, but, like, 72 00:02:29,325 --> 00:02:30,492 that last thing would be awesome. 73 00:02:30,558 --> 00:02:32,493 I'm just saying, it's too soon. 74 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:34,063 Paige, don't give him this power. 75 00:02:34,130 --> 00:02:36,231 It's not up to him to decide whether you miss this party. 76 00:02:36,297 --> 00:02:37,566 He's not your fun lord. 77 00:02:37,632 --> 00:02:39,802 Okay, if anything, you have to go to this party. 78 00:02:39,868 --> 00:02:41,937 Have the time of your life right in front of him. 79 00:02:42,003 --> 00:02:44,440 - He doesn't get to decide. - Exactly! 80 00:02:44,506 --> 00:02:47,441 If anything, he should be nervous about seeing me. 81 00:02:47,509 --> 00:02:48,610 He should be terrified! 82 00:02:48,677 --> 00:02:49,745 You're right. 83 00:02:49,812 --> 00:02:51,112 I will go to this party. 84 00:02:51,178 --> 00:02:52,380 He's not my fun lord. 85 00:02:52,446 --> 00:02:54,916 I am my own fun lord. And you know what? 86 00:02:54,983 --> 00:02:56,284 Maybe I will get drunk and take off my top 87 00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:57,452 and start a fistfight. 88 00:02:57,518 --> 00:02:59,887 I swear, I would pay money to see that. 89 00:02:59,955 --> 00:03:02,958 ♪♪ 90 00:03:03,023 --> 00:03:05,626 Hey, do you think this is '90s enough. 91 00:03:05,694 --> 00:03:08,030 God, I had the perfect '90s item. 92 00:03:08,096 --> 00:03:10,065 I had an original 8-ball jacket. 93 00:03:10,131 --> 00:03:12,134 Of course, that's the thing my mom got rid of. 94 00:03:12,201 --> 00:03:15,170 It's 'cause my dad gave it to me after they got divorced. 95 00:03:15,237 --> 00:03:18,340 And yeah, his younger girlfriend Shana did have the same jacket. 96 00:03:18,405 --> 00:03:19,974 I mean, Shana was rad. 97 00:03:20,041 --> 00:03:21,642 She taught me to do a fishtail braid. 98 00:03:21,709 --> 00:03:23,812 She took me to see "Hellraiser 3." 99 00:03:23,879 --> 00:03:27,516 My mom got rid of the jacket because she hated Shana. 100 00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,083 Look at this, she highlighted stuff. 101 00:03:29,150 --> 00:03:31,820 "Chapter 3: Does your haircut make you unemployable?" 102 00:03:31,886 --> 00:03:33,421 Does it specify the haircut? 103 00:03:33,488 --> 00:03:34,724 This has to stop. 104 00:03:36,992 --> 00:03:40,262 She hasn't changed her outgoing message in, like, 20 years. 105 00:03:40,328 --> 00:03:42,230 - Leave your number after the beep... - Number after the beep. 106 00:03:42,255 --> 00:03:43,347 You don't have to worry. 107 00:03:43,372 --> 00:03:45,222 - I'll get back to you in a hurry. - (beep) 108 00:03:45,247 --> 00:03:48,105 Hey, mom, look, I got your box of useless crap 109 00:03:48,130 --> 00:03:51,072 and I just want to say that I don't need any more old CDs 110 00:03:51,140 --> 00:03:53,830 and I don't need any VHS tapes of "Quantum Leap." 111 00:03:53,855 --> 00:03:56,189 So you can stop using them as an excuse 112 00:03:56,214 --> 00:03:57,578 to send me self-help books, 113 00:03:57,646 --> 00:03:59,806 because I am fine. 114 00:03:59,831 --> 00:04:01,017 Maybe I should send you books 115 00:04:01,082 --> 00:04:02,684 about how to treat your daughter like an adult 116 00:04:02,750 --> 00:04:06,054 and not give away her favorite jacket. 117 00:04:06,122 --> 00:04:07,756 I'm sorry. 118 00:04:07,823 --> 00:04:09,343 I wish there was something I could do. 119 00:04:11,516 --> 00:04:14,344 _ 120 00:04:14,496 --> 00:04:18,234 ♪♪ 121 00:04:22,371 --> 00:04:24,673 Hola, chicas. 122 00:04:24,739 --> 00:04:26,408 Oh, my God. This party is so bomb, 123 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:29,011 it's gonna be strapped to a bus with Keanu Reeves. 124 00:04:29,078 --> 00:04:31,947 - '90s. - Oh, my God! Ginger Spice. 125 00:04:32,013 --> 00:04:33,148 Girl power! 126 00:04:33,215 --> 00:04:34,749 What is that? 127 00:04:34,816 --> 00:04:36,818 Oh, is that what they used to say? 128 00:04:36,884 --> 00:04:39,120 I'm actually too young to remember the Spice Girls 129 00:04:39,187 --> 00:04:41,956 when they really happened... I just love the dress. 130 00:04:42,023 --> 00:04:46,328 Anyway, so we've got '90s karaoke, a Zima bar, 131 00:04:46,395 --> 00:04:48,998 a photo booth with the fountain from "Friends," 132 00:04:49,064 --> 00:04:52,635 and of course, the hottest DJ in L.A.... 133 00:04:54,069 --> 00:04:55,804 ♪ What a man what a man what a man... ♪ 134 00:04:55,871 --> 00:04:57,306 Usually you have to book him eight months in advance, 135 00:04:57,372 --> 00:04:59,074 but this time, he made an exception, 136 00:04:59,141 --> 00:05:02,143 'cause we're, like, supes tight these days. 137 00:05:02,211 --> 00:05:04,078 Hey, Paige, would it be weird for you 138 00:05:04,146 --> 00:05:06,482 if Soft Serve and I started dating? 139 00:05:06,547 --> 00:05:09,651 I mean, I would never, because we're such good friends. 140 00:05:09,718 --> 00:05:11,153 Unless it wouldn't be weird 141 00:05:11,220 --> 00:05:13,289 because we're not such good friends? 142 00:05:13,355 --> 00:05:15,925 - Wait, what? - Anyway, we can talk about this later. 143 00:05:15,990 --> 00:05:17,860 (Jenée, fading) I'm so happy you guys came... 144 00:05:17,925 --> 00:05:20,062 (dance music playing) 145 00:05:20,392 --> 00:05:21,897 Paige, what are you doing? 146 00:05:21,963 --> 00:05:23,298 Looking like I'm having fun. 147 00:05:23,364 --> 00:05:24,966 Well, it looks like you're airing out your pits. 148 00:05:25,033 --> 00:05:27,035 Hey, I have to fake it 'til I believe it. 149 00:05:27,102 --> 00:05:28,603 It's like the woman who does the TED talk 150 00:05:28,670 --> 00:05:30,204 about posing like Superman. 151 00:05:30,271 --> 00:05:32,006 If you hold the confident superhero pose long enough... 152 00:05:32,074 --> 00:05:34,809 I know, I know, you can't get hit by real bullets. 153 00:05:34,876 --> 00:05:36,445 You didn't watch it 'til the end. 154 00:05:36,511 --> 00:05:37,580 You don't need a TED talk. 155 00:05:37,646 --> 00:05:39,047 What you need is a drink. 156 00:05:39,114 --> 00:05:40,415 - Stay right here. - Okay. 157 00:05:40,482 --> 00:05:42,150 But please come back quickly. 158 00:05:42,216 --> 00:05:44,185 It's hard for me to look like I'm having fun by myself. 159 00:05:44,252 --> 00:05:45,687 Oh, but I do know how to juggle. 160 00:05:45,754 --> 00:05:47,857 Just wait for me, okay? 161 00:05:54,862 --> 00:05:56,598 I like your outfit. 162 00:05:56,665 --> 00:05:58,167 Who are you? Kriss or Kross? 163 00:05:58,234 --> 00:06:00,269 Isn't it obvious? 164 00:06:00,335 --> 00:06:02,137 - And you are? - Felicity. 165 00:06:02,203 --> 00:06:03,204 Dear Sally, 166 00:06:03,271 --> 00:06:06,141 Ben is so cute, but Noah's so nice. 167 00:06:06,208 --> 00:06:07,608 I'm thinking about cutting my hair, 168 00:06:07,643 --> 00:06:08,843 and it won't be the worst mistake 169 00:06:08,910 --> 00:06:10,310 I've ever made in my life, will it? 170 00:06:12,180 --> 00:06:15,917 So, uh, we could stand in line for another 20 minutes 171 00:06:15,984 --> 00:06:18,020 for some super-lame themed cocktails, 172 00:06:18,086 --> 00:06:20,021 or we could go check out my '93 Bronco 173 00:06:20,088 --> 00:06:21,589 and line up some super lethal kush. 174 00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:24,059 Yeah, I don't know, my friend's about to, like, 175 00:06:24,124 --> 00:06:26,026 put on a clown nose over there. 176 00:06:26,093 --> 00:06:29,098 But a real OJ-style Bronco at a '90s-themed party? 177 00:06:30,665 --> 00:06:34,203 I mean, it would be a shame not to at least see it. 178 00:06:37,372 --> 00:06:39,640 I mean, how could my mom not think I'm successful? 179 00:06:39,708 --> 00:06:41,643 It's like, I run my own (bleep) business. 180 00:06:41,710 --> 00:06:43,412 But she never got me, you know? 181 00:06:43,477 --> 00:06:47,449 I wish she was more like Shana, who was my dad's girlfriend. 182 00:06:47,516 --> 00:06:48,917 She was so badass. 183 00:06:48,984 --> 00:06:50,986 Not like Barry, my stepdad, who, like, 184 00:06:51,052 --> 00:06:55,624 went to the basement and played with his ham radio. 185 00:06:55,691 --> 00:06:59,828 You know, Shana and I had, like, matching 8-ball jackets. 186 00:07:01,497 --> 00:07:03,032 Shana was cool. 187 00:07:03,098 --> 00:07:04,432 - She... - (door slamming) 188 00:07:07,169 --> 00:07:08,837 Dear Sally, 189 00:07:08,903 --> 00:07:10,738 looks like it's not gonna work out between me 190 00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,373 and the hot Bronco girl. 191 00:07:12,439 --> 00:07:15,009 (dance music playing) 192 00:07:15,076 --> 00:07:17,011 Have you seen that DJ? 193 00:07:17,078 --> 00:07:19,881 I'm gonna ride him like the front bike in my spin class. 194 00:07:21,216 --> 00:07:23,083 Damn it, Jordan. 195 00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:26,122 God, I knew she was gonna do this. 196 00:07:28,756 --> 00:07:30,290 Damn. 197 00:07:30,357 --> 00:07:34,730 I would give anything to go back and get that 8-ball jacket. 198 00:07:34,795 --> 00:07:38,033 That'd be so cool, right? The '90s were pretty dope. 199 00:07:38,098 --> 00:07:40,569 Man, I wish I could go back to the '90s. 200 00:07:40,634 --> 00:07:42,771 (crashing) 201 00:07:45,006 --> 00:07:47,143 (chimes tinkling) 202 00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,482 ♪ Hey now you're an all-star ♪ 203 00:07:53,549 --> 00:07:54,616 ♪ Get your game on ♪ 204 00:07:54,682 --> 00:07:56,184 ♪ Go play ♪ 205 00:07:56,251 --> 00:07:58,254 ♪ Hey now you're a rock star... ♪ 206 00:08:00,054 --> 00:08:02,256 Where is everybody? 207 00:08:02,324 --> 00:08:04,425 How far away did this girl park? 208 00:08:07,828 --> 00:08:09,198 Oh, my God... 209 00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:13,836 I'm back in the '90s. 210 00:08:18,940 --> 00:08:21,911 Ooh, get two Jenées. One on each bicep. 211 00:08:25,882 --> 00:08:27,950 (phone ringing) 212 00:08:28,017 --> 00:08:29,768 Oh, my God, Paige, I can't believe this call went through. 213 00:08:29,793 --> 00:08:32,325 - That's amazing. - Jordan, where the hell are you? 214 00:08:32,350 --> 00:08:33,942 Paige, I... I don't know how to tell you this, 215 00:08:33,967 --> 00:08:35,858 but somehow, I've... 216 00:08:35,925 --> 00:08:38,135 I've traveled back in time to the '90s. 217 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,395 - You what? - I don't even know 218 00:08:39,462 --> 00:08:40,601 how long this call is gonna last. 219 00:08:40,626 --> 00:08:43,565 It must be some sort of ripple in space-time, or just, like, 220 00:08:43,632 --> 00:08:45,200 a really advanced feature on the new iPhone. 221 00:08:45,268 --> 00:08:46,702 Jordan, you always do this. 222 00:08:46,769 --> 00:08:48,404 Every time you get high, you disappear for an hour 223 00:08:48,471 --> 00:08:49,605 because you say you saw someone 224 00:08:49,672 --> 00:08:51,385 who looks like the genie from "Aladdin." 225 00:08:51,410 --> 00:08:53,166 No, Paige, if you could see what I'm seeing, it's crazy. 226 00:08:53,191 --> 00:08:56,166 There's a payphone. The receiver isn't even torn off. 227 00:08:56,246 --> 00:08:59,148 Paige, Mario Lopez is on TV, okay? 228 00:08:59,214 --> 00:09:01,483 He looks exactly like he did in the '90s. 229 00:09:01,550 --> 00:09:04,054 There's no other explanation. I've... I've traveled in time. 230 00:09:04,999 --> 00:09:07,055 Oh, my God, Jordan, I cannot do this on my own. 231 00:09:07,122 --> 00:09:08,491 He's my Mr. Big! 232 00:09:08,558 --> 00:09:09,992 Okay, hey, I can be there for you. 233 00:09:10,059 --> 00:09:12,996 All I have to do is live out the next 20 years. 234 00:09:13,061 --> 00:09:15,697 And then go to that party. 235 00:09:15,765 --> 00:09:18,167 So get ready, because I'm about to walk through that door 236 00:09:18,233 --> 00:09:21,170 20 years older, right about... 237 00:09:22,804 --> 00:09:24,641 Now. 238 00:09:24,707 --> 00:09:26,075 Am I still hot? 239 00:09:26,141 --> 00:09:27,141 You didn't walk in. 240 00:09:27,175 --> 00:09:29,110 Oh, my God, that means... 241 00:09:29,178 --> 00:09:30,546 That means I die. 242 00:09:30,612 --> 00:09:32,881 That means I die before I can go to the party. 243 00:09:32,949 --> 00:09:34,683 Look at a photo of me. Am I disappearing? 244 00:09:34,750 --> 00:09:36,085 I'm hanging up now. 245 00:09:36,151 --> 00:09:37,819 No, no, no, no, Paige! 246 00:09:37,886 --> 00:09:40,088 I love you and there's $500, okay? 247 00:09:40,155 --> 00:09:42,559 It's in your sock drawer where I keep my vibrator. 248 00:09:44,926 --> 00:09:46,929 God damn it! 249 00:09:48,897 --> 00:09:50,565 ♪ If you wanna be my lover ♪ 250 00:09:50,632 --> 00:09:52,667 ♪ You gotta get with my friends ♪ 251 00:09:52,734 --> 00:09:57,339 ♪ Make it last forever 'cause friendship never ends ♪ 252 00:09:57,405 --> 00:09:59,007 ♪ If you wanna be my lover... ♪ 253 00:09:59,074 --> 00:10:01,944 Time to summon the fun lord. 254 00:10:02,011 --> 00:10:03,045 Fun Lord. 255 00:10:03,112 --> 00:10:05,180 ♪ Said hey ♪ 256 00:10:05,247 --> 00:10:08,650 ♪ Baby I got your money don't you worry ♪ 257 00:10:08,717 --> 00:10:09,952 ♪ Said hey ♪ 258 00:10:10,019 --> 00:10:11,521 ♪ Baby I got your money... ♪ 259 00:10:13,555 --> 00:10:14,555 Oh! 260 00:10:14,589 --> 00:10:15,524 Jesus, Paige! 261 00:10:15,591 --> 00:10:17,760 You just hit me in the left tit! 262 00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,060 Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. 263 00:10:19,127 --> 00:10:20,328 I was blindfolded. 264 00:10:20,396 --> 00:10:22,330 No, we didn't... We didn't even spin you. 265 00:10:22,397 --> 00:10:24,367 And look at my pot-ñata! You've ruined it! 266 00:10:24,434 --> 00:10:26,135 How is anyone gonna smoke that weed? 267 00:10:26,202 --> 00:10:27,436 It's soaking wet. 268 00:10:27,502 --> 00:10:29,973 And I am not paying for that. 269 00:10:32,808 --> 00:10:34,543 Okay, that... 270 00:10:34,609 --> 00:10:37,012 That was the best thing that I have seen all night. 271 00:10:37,079 --> 00:10:38,381 The best. 272 00:10:38,448 --> 00:10:40,449 Looks like I needed to be more humiliated. 273 00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:46,222 No, no, I'm not being sarcastic, look, it was truly funny. 274 00:10:46,288 --> 00:10:48,891 I think you had the courage to do what we all were thinking. 275 00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,259 So... 276 00:10:50,325 --> 00:10:51,926 Can I get you a drink? 277 00:10:51,993 --> 00:10:55,598 A Jenée-arita, or a Jenée-ito? 278 00:10:55,665 --> 00:10:56,598 No, no. 279 00:10:56,665 --> 00:10:58,034 Maybe a left tit and tonic. 280 00:10:58,101 --> 00:11:01,604 How about a tit-quila sunrise? 281 00:11:01,670 --> 00:11:03,171 There you go. 282 00:11:03,238 --> 00:11:05,139 Time travel log. 283 00:11:05,207 --> 00:11:07,742 The question is, how do I get back? 284 00:11:07,809 --> 00:11:09,179 I don't have a DeLorean. 285 00:11:09,245 --> 00:11:11,348 But there's some reason I was sent here, 286 00:11:11,414 --> 00:11:13,915 and only by fixing something in the past 287 00:11:13,982 --> 00:11:17,119 will I be able to return to the present. 288 00:11:24,626 --> 00:11:27,329 Whoa! 289 00:11:27,396 --> 00:11:29,330 Shana had these boots, too. 290 00:11:29,397 --> 00:11:31,132 Man, you guys have everything. 291 00:11:31,199 --> 00:11:33,069 Hey, don't get rid of any of this, okay? 292 00:11:33,135 --> 00:11:35,771 It is all coming back. 293 00:11:35,838 --> 00:11:38,474 I remember this one time, Shana took my friend and I 294 00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:40,242 to see a Slayer concert... I mean, like, 295 00:11:40,309 --> 00:11:42,612 we were too young to get in, but she went in anyway, 296 00:11:42,679 --> 00:11:44,947 so we hung out in the parking lot 297 00:11:45,014 --> 00:11:46,349 with these cool scalpers. 298 00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:47,949 Shana didn't play by the rules. 299 00:11:48,016 --> 00:11:49,451 Shana didn't care. 300 00:11:49,519 --> 00:11:51,453 Shana was... 301 00:11:51,520 --> 00:11:52,889 A whore. 302 00:11:52,955 --> 00:11:54,155 Oh, my God! 303 00:11:54,223 --> 00:11:56,358 No wonder my mom hated her so much. 304 00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:59,127 My dad left her for some skank 305 00:11:59,194 --> 00:12:02,198 who left me alone in a stadium parking lot? 306 00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,735 My poor mother. 307 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:08,537 Okay, wait for it... 308 00:12:08,603 --> 00:12:09,771 No, wait. 309 00:12:09,838 --> 00:12:11,273 Ta-da! 310 00:12:11,339 --> 00:12:13,242 Get the (bleep) out. 311 00:12:13,309 --> 00:12:14,876 No way. How did you do this? 312 00:12:14,944 --> 00:12:17,380 When I was in middle school, I got Jack in the Box E. coli 313 00:12:17,447 --> 00:12:19,482 and pretty much stayed home for two weeks 314 00:12:19,549 --> 00:12:23,352 and just watched music videos and practiced origami and I... 315 00:12:23,419 --> 00:12:25,688 Wow, I've never said that out loud 316 00:12:25,755 --> 00:12:27,689 to another human before. 317 00:12:27,756 --> 00:12:29,058 That's so embarrassing. 318 00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:30,593 I think it's adorable. 319 00:12:31,861 --> 00:12:33,663 I think you're adorable. 320 00:12:34,930 --> 00:12:37,165 Okay, uh, I'm gonna spoil you. 321 00:12:37,232 --> 00:12:38,166 I'm gonna go get you a Zima. 322 00:12:38,232 --> 00:12:40,135 - Ooh. - Oh, I know. 323 00:12:40,202 --> 00:12:41,737 Don't go anywhere. 324 00:12:47,075 --> 00:12:48,377 Hey, sweet pea. 325 00:12:49,779 --> 00:12:51,947 Oh, hey. 326 00:12:52,014 --> 00:12:53,449 Uh, hey. 327 00:12:53,516 --> 00:12:55,150 I'm sorry I didn't come say hello before. 328 00:12:55,217 --> 00:12:56,718 Jenée's got me working my ass off. 329 00:12:56,785 --> 00:13:00,857 She's gone birthday-zilla on me tonight, you know? 330 00:13:00,923 --> 00:13:02,392 But, you look amazing. 331 00:13:02,458 --> 00:13:03,958 It's good to see you. 332 00:13:04,025 --> 00:13:05,861 - Thanks. - Who's that guy you're here with? 333 00:13:05,928 --> 00:13:07,608 What is he, a date? Somebody you're seeing? 334 00:13:07,663 --> 00:13:10,466 - Oh, n... No, no, we just met. - Good. 335 00:13:10,532 --> 00:13:12,267 'Cause when I agreed to come here tonight, 336 00:13:12,333 --> 00:13:14,237 the only thing I could think about was seeing you here. 337 00:13:14,303 --> 00:13:17,439 The truth is, you're all I think about. 338 00:13:18,940 --> 00:13:20,410 You ever think about me? 339 00:13:23,445 --> 00:13:25,113 Everything's been so crazy with me. 340 00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:28,251 It's like all the attention, people wanting things from me. 341 00:13:28,317 --> 00:13:29,986 But you... 342 00:13:30,051 --> 00:13:32,387 You're the only one who knows who I really am. 343 00:13:32,454 --> 00:13:34,589 You've always been the one, Paige. 344 00:13:34,656 --> 00:13:36,658 I miss you. 345 00:13:36,726 --> 00:13:38,261 I need you. 346 00:13:38,327 --> 00:13:40,463 (dance music playing) 347 00:13:45,001 --> 00:13:47,937 ♪♪ 348 00:13:53,675 --> 00:13:55,276 ♪ I'm the fear addicted ♪ 349 00:13:55,343 --> 00:13:57,747 ♪ The danger illustrated... ♪ 350 00:13:57,813 --> 00:13:59,448 You're amazing, Paige. 351 00:13:59,515 --> 00:14:01,984 I was lost without you. 352 00:14:02,050 --> 00:14:03,386 You're my muse. 353 00:14:10,193 --> 00:14:11,660 ♪ No doubt man ♪ 354 00:14:14,963 --> 00:14:16,431 ♪ Check it out man ♪ 355 00:14:19,334 --> 00:14:21,237 So... 356 00:14:21,303 --> 00:14:22,472 Still want the Zima? 357 00:14:23,673 --> 00:14:26,342 I actually am quite parched. 358 00:14:30,814 --> 00:14:33,283 Um, hey, Jordan, I don't know where you are right now 359 00:14:33,349 --> 00:14:35,334 and you're probably not gonna believe this, 360 00:14:35,359 --> 00:14:38,921 but I think I just got back together with Soft Serve. 361 00:14:38,988 --> 00:14:41,772 Um, he says he can't stop thinking about me, 362 00:14:41,797 --> 00:14:42,933 and he needs me, 363 00:14:42,958 --> 00:14:44,938 and I'm probably not gonna sleep at home tonight, 364 00:14:44,963 --> 00:14:47,031 so just wanted to let you know. 365 00:14:47,098 --> 00:14:49,701 Yeah, call me when you get this, bye. 366 00:14:51,469 --> 00:14:53,605 (sobbing) 367 00:14:56,174 --> 00:14:59,907 Hey. Are you okay? 368 00:14:59,932 --> 00:15:01,648 My ex is in there. 369 00:15:02,849 --> 00:15:06,152 I thought I was over him, but... 370 00:15:06,219 --> 00:15:09,121 I know, it's the worst. 371 00:15:09,187 --> 00:15:11,557 He's just so hot. 372 00:15:11,623 --> 00:15:14,893 He's this famous graffiti artist 373 00:15:14,960 --> 00:15:16,595 and he's DJing the party. 374 00:15:18,431 --> 00:15:21,166 How long have you guys been dating? 375 00:15:21,233 --> 00:15:23,136 All last year. 376 00:15:23,201 --> 00:15:25,037 It was really serious. 377 00:15:25,104 --> 00:15:27,672 I mean, we almost got engaged. 378 00:15:27,740 --> 00:15:31,443 You know, he told me that I was the only one who really got him. 379 00:15:32,512 --> 00:15:33,712 You know, that... 380 00:15:33,778 --> 00:15:35,748 he needed me and that I was... 381 00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:36,950 His muse. 382 00:15:42,153 --> 00:15:43,990 I can't believe I fell for that again. 383 00:15:52,398 --> 00:15:54,133 (phone line ringing) 384 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:55,985 (Jordan's Mom) Leave your number after the beep. 385 00:15:56,010 --> 00:15:58,508 You don't have to worry, I'll get back to you in a hurry. 386 00:15:58,533 --> 00:15:59,586 (beeping) 387 00:15:59,611 --> 00:16:01,539 Hey, Mom, it's Jordan. 388 00:16:01,606 --> 00:16:05,076 I guess it's probably weird to hear my voice all grown up, um... 389 00:16:05,144 --> 00:16:10,483 Anyway, I'm just calling to tell you that I finally get it. 390 00:16:10,548 --> 00:16:13,218 Like, I understand how hard it must have been to raise 391 00:16:13,286 --> 00:16:15,788 a stubborn, opinionated daughter, 392 00:16:15,855 --> 00:16:17,188 basically on your own. 393 00:16:17,255 --> 00:16:20,925 I realize now that... 394 00:16:20,993 --> 00:16:24,397 you are the woman I should have been looking up to. 395 00:16:25,865 --> 00:16:29,568 So I... I guess I'm just calling to say thank you. 396 00:16:31,302 --> 00:16:34,072 And I'm sorry. 397 00:16:34,139 --> 00:16:35,908 And I love you. 398 00:16:37,176 --> 00:16:39,378 And just promise me that 399 00:16:39,445 --> 00:16:41,113 you won't let me get that perm 400 00:16:41,179 --> 00:16:42,914 my sophomore year, 'cause I just... 401 00:16:42,981 --> 00:16:44,992 I just feel like we don't need to give Rodney Bodine 402 00:16:45,017 --> 00:16:47,619 any more ammunition to make fun of me, so... 403 00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:54,726 (dance music playing) 404 00:16:56,627 --> 00:16:58,263 Babe, what the hell? 405 00:16:58,330 --> 00:17:00,399 - (music shuts off) - Shut up... Dennis! 406 00:17:01,601 --> 00:17:03,468 You know, I thought we had something special, 407 00:17:03,535 --> 00:17:05,237 and I have spent so long 408 00:17:05,304 --> 00:17:08,340 trying to figure out what I did wrong to push you away. 409 00:17:08,406 --> 00:17:10,541 But you know what? I didn't do anything wrong. 410 00:17:10,608 --> 00:17:11,976 You're just an asshole, 411 00:17:12,044 --> 00:17:15,547 and I cannot believe I wasted so much time on you. 412 00:17:15,614 --> 00:17:18,217 'Cause you know what? You're not my fun lord. 413 00:17:18,284 --> 00:17:20,085 You're not my anything lord. 414 00:17:20,152 --> 00:17:21,821 You're nothing. 415 00:17:27,291 --> 00:17:29,428 ("No Scrubs" by TLC playing) 416 00:17:32,029 --> 00:17:34,700 ♪ A scrub is a guy that think he's fine and is ♪ 417 00:17:34,767 --> 00:17:37,201 ♪ Also known as a buster ♪ 418 00:17:37,269 --> 00:17:39,538 ♪ Always talking about what he wants ♪ 419 00:17:39,605 --> 00:17:42,074 ♪ And just sits on his broke ass ♪ 420 00:17:42,141 --> 00:17:44,877 ♪ So no I don't want your number ♪ 421 00:17:44,943 --> 00:17:47,345 ♪ No I don't want to give you mine and ♪ 422 00:17:47,413 --> 00:17:50,015 ♪ No I don't want to meet you nowhere ♪ 423 00:17:50,082 --> 00:17:52,685 ♪ No don't want none of your time ♪ 424 00:17:52,750 --> 00:17:54,987 ♪ No I don't want no scrub ♪ 425 00:17:55,054 --> 00:17:58,224 ♪ A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me ♪ 426 00:17:58,290 --> 00:18:00,392 ♪ Hanging out the passenger side ♪ 427 00:18:00,459 --> 00:18:01,619 ♪ Of his best friend's ride ♪ 428 00:18:01,660 --> 00:18:03,629 ♪ Trying to holler at me ♪ 429 00:18:03,695 --> 00:18:05,363 ♪ I don't want no scrub ♪ 430 00:18:05,431 --> 00:18:08,834 ♪ A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me ♪ 431 00:18:08,901 --> 00:18:10,469 ♪ Hanging out the passenger side ♪ 432 00:18:10,536 --> 00:18:11,937 ♪ Of his best friend's ride ♪ 433 00:18:12,003 --> 00:18:14,005 ♪ Trying to holler at me ♪ 434 00:18:14,073 --> 00:18:16,008 (song continues) 435 00:18:22,114 --> 00:18:24,048 (microphone feedback) 436 00:18:24,115 --> 00:18:25,585 ♪♪ 437 00:18:25,651 --> 00:18:26,884 I don't get it. 438 00:18:26,951 --> 00:18:29,054 What else do I have to fix to go back? 439 00:18:29,121 --> 00:18:31,124 Tell everybody not to worry about Y2K? 440 00:18:31,190 --> 00:18:34,059 Warn women to stay away from Bill Cosby? 441 00:18:34,125 --> 00:18:36,061 (spray paint hissing) 442 00:18:37,796 --> 00:18:39,297 Hey! 443 00:18:39,365 --> 00:18:40,665 Listen. 444 00:18:40,732 --> 00:18:43,268 When you grow up, I want you to stay the hell away 445 00:18:43,335 --> 00:18:44,603 from my best friend Paige, 446 00:18:44,670 --> 00:18:46,839 because she deserves way better than you. 447 00:18:46,905 --> 00:18:48,940 Understand me, you little shit? 448 00:18:49,007 --> 00:18:50,109 Beat it! 449 00:18:59,852 --> 00:19:02,922 Well, my work here is done. 450 00:19:02,989 --> 00:19:04,123 Time to go home. 451 00:19:08,728 --> 00:19:10,028 - Time... - (chimes tinkling) 452 00:19:10,095 --> 00:19:12,499 Time to go home. 453 00:19:12,524 --> 00:19:14,526 Ooh... 454 00:19:20,138 --> 00:19:22,040 - Jordan? - Paige! 455 00:19:22,106 --> 00:19:23,576 I did it! 456 00:19:23,642 --> 00:19:25,010 I'm back! 457 00:19:26,979 --> 00:19:28,114 Paige... 458 00:19:34,386 --> 00:19:36,188 So, the '90s. 459 00:19:36,256 --> 00:19:37,854 Yeah. 460 00:19:38,858 --> 00:19:41,627 I bet if we dry this out tomorrow, we can still smoke most of it. 461 00:19:41,652 --> 00:19:43,487 Sounds like an ideal Sunday. 462 00:19:43,554 --> 00:19:47,624 Hey, I'm sorry I left you alone to deal with Soft Serve. 463 00:19:47,691 --> 00:19:49,693 Who's Soft Serve? 464 00:19:52,496 --> 00:19:54,666 Holy shit! 465 00:19:54,731 --> 00:19:56,300 I did it. 466 00:19:56,366 --> 00:19:58,268 I changed the future. 467 00:19:58,292 --> 00:20:01,646 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 468 00:20:01,671 --> 00:20:03,868 ♪♪ 469 00:20:03,893 --> 00:20:05,610 ♪ Uhh ♪ 470 00:20:05,677 --> 00:20:07,011 ♪ Uh-huh yeah ♪ 471 00:20:07,076 --> 00:20:09,247 ♪ It's all about the Benjamins baby ♪ 472 00:20:09,313 --> 00:20:11,180 ♪ Uhh ♪ 473 00:20:11,248 --> 00:20:12,950 ♪ Uh-huh now ♪ 474 00:20:13,017 --> 00:20:14,251 ♪ What y'all wanna do? ♪ 475 00:20:14,318 --> 00:20:15,819 ♪ Wanna be ballers? ♪ 476 00:20:15,885 --> 00:20:17,854 ♪ Shot-callers brawlers ♪ 477 00:20:17,921 --> 00:20:20,623 ♪ Who be dipping in the Benz with the spoilers ♪ 478 00:20:20,690 --> 00:20:23,193 - ♪ It's all about the Benjamins baby ♪ - ♪ Uh-huh yeah ♪ 479 00:20:23,259 --> 00:20:25,563 - ♪ It's all about the Benjamins baby ♪ - ♪ Yeah ♪ 480 00:20:25,630 --> 00:20:28,299 - ♪ It's all about the Benjamins baby ♪ - ♪ Yeah yeah yeah ♪