1 00:00:01,125 --> 00:00:03,394 Oh! Oh. 2 00:00:03,519 --> 00:00:05,319 Good morn-ing. 3 00:00:05,363 --> 00:00:08,031 - Hmm. - Oh. 4 00:00:08,099 --> 00:00:09,699 How did I spend my summer vacation? 5 00:00:09,723 --> 00:00:11,190 I got over my breakup with Andy. 6 00:00:11,197 --> 00:00:13,031 I got a job at Grandpa's country club. 7 00:00:13,099 --> 00:00:14,933 - I got mono. - Too close! 8 00:00:15,001 --> 00:00:17,069 Put your mask on! 9 00:00:17,136 --> 00:00:19,571 No one misses two weeks at Caltech and catches up. 10 00:00:19,639 --> 00:00:20,973 What am I gonna do? 11 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,241 Well, honey, I think you need to focus 12 00:00:22,308 --> 00:00:23,709 on getting a little bit stronger, 13 00:00:23,776 --> 00:00:25,811 a little bit healthier and just a little farther. 14 00:00:25,878 --> 00:00:28,547 How do nerds even get mono? 15 00:00:28,615 --> 00:00:30,682 Did you all practice by kissing the same pillow? 16 00:00:30,750 --> 00:00:31,750 Shouldn't you be at work by now? 17 00:00:32,418 --> 00:00:34,086 I got fired. 18 00:00:34,153 --> 00:00:36,188 My plan was to hide it from my parents until I got a new job, 19 00:00:36,256 --> 00:00:37,656 but with smarty-pants Alex home, 20 00:00:37,724 --> 00:00:40,392 I had to be more careful, or she was going to figure it out. 21 00:00:40,460 --> 00:00:43,595 Her being super-sick is coming at a really bad time for me. 22 00:00:43,663 --> 00:00:46,031 You got in late last night, huh? 23 00:00:46,099 --> 00:00:47,366 Yeah. It was payday, 24 00:00:47,433 --> 00:00:49,234 and a game of craps broke out in the kitchen. 25 00:00:49,302 --> 00:00:51,802 See this watch? Enrique's grandfather's. 26 00:00:51,870 --> 00:00:54,473 You're giving it back, and remember, the second that job 27 00:00:54,540 --> 00:00:56,141 interferes with your grades, you're done. 28 00:00:56,209 --> 00:00:57,576 Did you finish your history report? 29 00:00:57,644 --> 00:00:59,478 Just got to dot the I's and cross the T's... 30 00:00:59,545 --> 00:01:01,813 and put in all the other letters. 31 00:01:01,881 --> 00:01:02,714 It's okay, everybody! 32 00:01:02,782 --> 00:01:05,684 I'm alive! 33 00:01:07,787 --> 00:01:12,057 I had a traumatic experience after an open house. 34 00:01:12,125 --> 00:01:14,526 Have a good one. 35 00:01:30,677 --> 00:01:32,778 Oh, no. 36 00:01:43,990 --> 00:01:46,958 Aaaaaaah. 37 00:01:52,532 --> 00:01:56,468 Monday lunch, Monday dinner. 38 00:01:56,536 --> 00:02:00,806 Tuesday breakfast, Tuesday lunch. 39 00:02:07,113 --> 00:02:08,313 Welcome home. 40 00:02:08,381 --> 00:02:10,816 Open house went great. Lots of interested buyers. 41 00:02:10,883 --> 00:02:14,553 Fun fact -- Some stranger, probably a long time ago, 42 00:02:14,620 --> 00:02:15,721 wrote their last will and testament 43 00:02:15,788 --> 00:02:16,888 right here on your wall. 44 00:02:16,956 --> 00:02:19,791 Trust me on this. 45 00:02:21,661 --> 00:02:23,628 Did nobody notice I was gone for 18 hours? 46 00:02:23,696 --> 00:02:25,097 Why aren't you all making posters? 47 00:02:25,164 --> 00:02:26,198 I figured you were in your office. 48 00:02:26,265 --> 00:02:28,333 I went to bed really early last night, 49 00:02:28,401 --> 00:02:29,835 and when I woke up this morning, I thought you'd gone for a run. 50 00:02:29,902 --> 00:02:33,338 Alex? I can't believe this! 51 00:02:33,406 --> 00:02:36,341 Well, honey, the important thing is that you are okay. 52 00:02:36,409 --> 00:02:38,210 Now, I'm very sorry, but I've got to get to work. 53 00:02:38,277 --> 00:02:40,946 We are bidding a big job against my old nemesis, 54 00:02:41,013 --> 00:02:43,014 Closets, Closets, Closets, Closets. 55 00:02:43,082 --> 00:02:44,516 I'm back in there. 56 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,640 Sync and corrections by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com 57 00:02:58,297 --> 00:02:59,831 I want to live outside. 58 00:02:59,899 --> 00:03:02,167 No, Señor, we're not having that argument anymore. 59 00:03:02,235 --> 00:03:03,335 Mowgli lives outside. 60 00:03:03,403 --> 00:03:05,837 Is Mowgli that dirty kid at his preschool 61 00:03:05,905 --> 00:03:08,340 whose parents drive the car that runs on French fry oil? 62 00:03:08,408 --> 00:03:11,343 No. It's that dirty kid that runs around The Jungle Book. 63 00:03:11,411 --> 00:03:12,978 Jay, tell him he can't. 64 00:03:13,045 --> 00:03:15,881 First time I saw Tarzan, I wanted to live outside. 65 00:03:15,948 --> 00:03:18,850 Dad said fine. I walked in the woods, met a hobo. 66 00:03:18,918 --> 00:03:21,153 Taught me how to open a can with a bird's beak. 67 00:03:21,220 --> 00:03:23,054 That story's not helping! 68 00:03:23,122 --> 00:03:24,189 I'm doing it. 69 00:03:24,257 --> 00:03:24,823 No! Jay! 70 00:03:24,891 --> 00:03:26,892 Of course not. 71 00:03:26,959 --> 00:03:27,826 Why learn self-reliance when the industrial machine 72 00:03:27,894 --> 00:03:30,395 depends on constant consumption? 73 00:03:30,463 --> 00:03:32,664 No eggs for me. I'll be having porridge. 74 00:03:32,732 --> 00:03:34,566 Are you really still doing this? 75 00:03:34,634 --> 00:03:37,702 Over the summer, I went to a wedding in Juárez and met Frida, 76 00:03:37,770 --> 00:03:39,271 this amazing girl who enlightened me 77 00:03:39,338 --> 00:03:40,939 to how Communism can rid the world of injustice. 78 00:03:41,007 --> 00:03:44,876 Mm. What a beautiful reception. 79 00:03:44,944 --> 00:03:46,711 Yeah. 80 00:03:46,779 --> 00:03:48,780 Oh, right. That's a bad thing. 81 00:03:48,848 --> 00:03:50,949 I live simply now, and it's good for me. 82 00:03:51,017 --> 00:03:54,219 Might it also help my chance of kissing her one day? Yes. 83 00:03:54,287 --> 00:03:55,954 And if that requires living in a world 84 00:03:56,022 --> 00:03:58,790 where the government chooses all our songs, so be it. 85 00:03:58,858 --> 00:04:00,058 I'm gonna take a coffee 86 00:04:00,126 --> 00:04:01,893 to the guy putting up the security cameras. 87 00:04:01,961 --> 00:04:04,663 It's not coffee the laborers need, Jay. It's dignity. 88 00:04:04,730 --> 00:04:05,864 And I'm going to fight for that 89 00:04:05,932 --> 00:04:07,732 until my fingers are raw and my back is bent. 90 00:04:07,800 --> 00:04:10,101 Six months ago, we took you to the dermatologist 91 00:04:10,169 --> 00:04:12,204 for taking too many bubble baths. 92 00:04:13,805 --> 00:04:15,707 - Brought you this. - Oh, thanks. 93 00:04:15,775 --> 00:04:17,909 - Almost done here. - Take your time. 94 00:04:17,977 --> 00:04:19,911 Important thing is... 95 00:04:21,814 --> 00:04:23,748 Oh, no. 96 00:04:23,816 --> 00:04:25,217 Guess what. 97 00:04:25,284 --> 00:04:27,118 A black family's moving in right across the street 98 00:04:27,186 --> 00:04:29,354 the same day my security cameras are going up. 99 00:04:29,422 --> 00:04:30,722 Well, what am I supposed to do? 100 00:04:30,790 --> 00:04:32,224 I made the appointment weeks ago 101 00:04:32,291 --> 00:04:34,125 right after the break-in down the street. 102 00:04:34,193 --> 00:04:36,561 But they'll think I made the call the minute I saw them 103 00:04:36,629 --> 00:04:38,230 because I'm a racist old man. 104 00:04:38,297 --> 00:04:40,799 Why would the neighbors just assume that you're a racist? 105 00:04:40,867 --> 00:04:42,634 Gloria, Gloria, Gloria. 106 00:04:42,702 --> 00:04:46,471 You'll never understand the stereotypes old white men face. 107 00:04:46,539 --> 00:04:48,773 Goal! 108 00:04:48,841 --> 00:04:50,108 Nice shot, Tom. 109 00:04:50,176 --> 00:04:51,676 Do you want to play with us? 110 00:04:51,744 --> 00:04:53,278 You know, I'm off contact sports right now. 111 00:04:53,346 --> 00:04:55,080 I twisted my ankle playing running charades, 112 00:04:55,147 --> 00:04:57,616 but you two should get ready for dance class. 113 00:04:57,683 --> 00:04:59,784 Okay, go. Go, go, go! 114 00:04:59,852 --> 00:05:02,087 - Hi. - Hi. 115 00:05:03,356 --> 00:05:05,090 Okay, why do you look so satisfied? 116 00:05:05,157 --> 00:05:06,424 Did you just listen to an NPR story 117 00:05:06,492 --> 00:05:07,192 that proved you right about something? 118 00:05:07,260 --> 00:05:09,127 No, no, but you know Tom, 119 00:05:09,195 --> 00:05:10,562 the friend that Lily's playing with? 120 00:05:10,630 --> 00:05:13,097 Well, I know of him. We haven't formally been introduced. 121 00:05:13,164 --> 00:05:17,335 Well, it turns out that Tom used to identify as... Tina. 122 00:05:17,403 --> 00:05:19,404 Oh, I wish you wouldn't have told me. 123 00:05:19,472 --> 00:05:21,940 You know how proud I am of my gender identificadar. 124 00:05:22,008 --> 00:05:24,276 Well, Tom's been having some problems at school, 125 00:05:24,343 --> 00:05:26,745 and -- and Lily has been really respectful of him. 126 00:05:26,812 --> 00:05:28,647 Oh, she is so sweet. 127 00:05:28,714 --> 00:05:29,714 She really is. 128 00:05:29,782 --> 00:05:31,650 She gets all the credit on this one. 129 00:05:31,717 --> 00:05:33,351 Uh-huh. 130 00:05:33,419 --> 00:05:36,021 This so doesn't matter. 131 00:05:36,088 --> 00:05:37,789 We raised her to have an open mind. 132 00:05:37,857 --> 00:05:40,292 Totally. We deserve some kudos here, too. 133 00:05:40,359 --> 00:05:42,093 There's enough kudos for everyone. 134 00:05:42,161 --> 00:05:44,162 You know, a kudo would be an excellent name for a parenting award. 135 00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:47,130 Oh, thank you, Gwyneth. 136 00:05:47,998 --> 00:05:50,469 Lily, if you're still watching, go to bed. 137 00:05:50,837 --> 00:05:52,804 Get out of here, you weirdo! 138 00:05:58,830 --> 00:06:01,164 Part of being the boss is being a bummer. 139 00:06:05,670 --> 00:06:09,240 It was hard at first, but I've learned to accept it... 140 00:06:09,307 --> 00:06:10,608 mostly. 141 00:06:10,675 --> 00:06:14,078 It's really been -- Oh. 142 00:06:14,145 --> 00:06:16,447 Margaret, you knew I was in here. 143 00:06:16,515 --> 00:06:18,048 Sorry. I just had some messages. 144 00:06:18,516 --> 00:06:20,718 Luke's guidance counselor -- 145 00:06:20,785 --> 00:06:22,486 Luke fell asleep in class again. 146 00:06:22,553 --> 00:06:24,855 Haley's car payment is late. 147 00:06:24,923 --> 00:06:26,323 And the credit-card company. 148 00:06:26,391 --> 00:06:27,491 Phil made a large purchase 149 00:06:27,559 --> 00:06:32,062 on a Tibetan website called CopingCandles.com. 150 00:06:32,130 --> 00:06:33,663 Tell the creative team to get their giggles out. 151 00:06:33,731 --> 00:06:35,232 I'll be ready for them in 10. 152 00:06:35,300 --> 00:06:37,668 But when you've been the bummer all day at work, 153 00:06:37,736 --> 00:06:41,038 you don't love having to be the bummer at home, too. 154 00:06:41,106 --> 00:06:43,773 Hi, honey. Is your brother around? I need to yell at him. 155 00:06:43,841 --> 00:06:45,075 Of course he's around. 156 00:06:45,143 --> 00:06:46,544 Why would he leave me in peace 157 00:06:46,611 --> 00:06:48,045 to do some work at the kitchen table 158 00:06:48,113 --> 00:06:49,680 when he could just barge in and -- 159 00:06:49,748 --> 00:06:51,081 Luke! Game down! 160 00:06:51,149 --> 00:06:52,383 This is your senior year, 161 00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:54,285 also known as your last year to not suck. 162 00:06:54,352 --> 00:06:57,354 - Honey. - Dad, you hit "place order" once, 163 00:06:57,422 --> 00:06:59,056 and then you wait for the confirmation. 164 00:06:59,124 --> 00:07:01,225 - I'm sorry. - Don't be sorry! Be smart! 165 00:07:01,293 --> 00:07:02,893 That angry screeching 166 00:07:02,961 --> 00:07:04,895 was the sweet sound of my new home bummer. 167 00:07:04,963 --> 00:07:07,998 I'm just so tired and in pain and irritable. 168 00:07:08,066 --> 00:07:10,200 It just makes me so mad at everyone. 169 00:07:10,268 --> 00:07:12,736 Sorry for yelling, Mom. Why were you calling again? 170 00:07:12,804 --> 00:07:14,538 I forgot. 171 00:07:14,606 --> 00:07:17,374 Damn it, Mom! Write it down next time! 172 00:07:18,842 --> 00:07:20,044 All right. 173 00:07:20,812 --> 00:07:22,513 Here we are. 174 00:07:22,581 --> 00:07:24,915 Okay. Don't forget to give Funkmaster Linda her check 175 00:07:24,983 --> 00:07:26,250 for today's class. 176 00:07:26,318 --> 00:07:27,751 - Bye, Tom. - Bye, Tom. 177 00:07:27,819 --> 00:07:29,620 Hey, Lily. Can you hang back a second? 178 00:07:29,688 --> 00:07:32,556 I shouldn't. Linda says being late is wiggity-wack. 179 00:07:32,624 --> 00:07:34,959 We just want to know why you called Tom a weirdo 180 00:07:35,026 --> 00:07:36,260 back at the house. 181 00:07:36,328 --> 00:07:37,361 I don't know. 182 00:07:37,429 --> 00:07:38,562 Okay, well, we don't make fun of people 183 00:07:38,630 --> 00:07:39,964 who are different, okay? 184 00:07:40,031 --> 00:07:41,966 - You know how hard it was for Daddy and me? - Yeah. 185 00:07:42,033 --> 00:07:43,867 Growing up in Missouri, I was so mistreated 186 00:07:43,934 --> 00:07:45,369 that one of my best friends was an old scarecrow 187 00:07:45,437 --> 00:07:46,637 I found in the creek. 188 00:07:46,705 --> 00:07:48,038 Some of your stories would be more impactful 189 00:07:48,106 --> 00:07:49,239 with fewer details. 190 00:07:49,307 --> 00:07:51,208 Fine. I won't do it again. Can I go now? 191 00:07:51,276 --> 00:07:53,644 Okay, but -- but do you understand why what you did is wrong? 192 00:07:53,712 --> 00:07:55,112 Yes! 193 00:07:55,180 --> 00:07:57,381 Well, this bothers me. 194 00:07:57,449 --> 00:07:59,183 They're getting along great, and then one little spat, 195 00:07:59,250 --> 00:08:01,385 and her instinct is to go all baby bigot on him? 196 00:08:01,453 --> 00:08:03,020 Well -- and I say this with love -- 197 00:08:03,088 --> 00:08:06,190 she did just get back from spending a full summer 198 00:08:06,257 --> 00:08:08,525 with your family in Missouri. 199 00:08:08,593 --> 00:08:10,794 Oh. So we're blaming my family, then? 200 00:08:10,862 --> 00:08:13,297 I'm -- I'm just saying maybe when she gets back from there, 201 00:08:13,365 --> 00:08:14,965 she needs to be reminded of our values. 202 00:08:15,033 --> 00:08:16,866 You know -- un-hick her. 203 00:08:16,934 --> 00:08:18,802 Oh, the H-bomb! 204 00:08:18,870 --> 00:08:20,537 Possibly the most offensive slur 205 00:08:20,605 --> 00:08:22,106 ever thrown around in the South. 206 00:08:22,173 --> 00:08:23,774 Well... y-- 207 00:08:23,842 --> 00:08:25,376 Look, I-I love those people, too, 208 00:08:25,443 --> 00:08:26,577 but you did just admit 209 00:08:26,645 --> 00:08:28,212 they can be a little close-minded down there. 210 00:08:28,279 --> 00:08:30,314 Well, they are a little bit set in their ways. 211 00:08:30,382 --> 00:08:32,449 It was actually illegal to run for mayor without a mustache 212 00:08:32,517 --> 00:08:33,717 - until 1980. - See? It's -- 213 00:08:33,785 --> 00:08:36,186 - And then again from '82 to '85. - Okay. 214 00:08:37,489 --> 00:08:38,989 Input. 215 00:08:39,057 --> 00:08:41,525 Input! 216 00:08:41,593 --> 00:08:43,827 Please don't throw the remote again. 217 00:08:43,895 --> 00:08:46,630 Oh, I was just, like, trying to get signal. 218 00:08:46,698 --> 00:08:49,767 Don't blame me about breaking the other ones. 219 00:08:49,834 --> 00:08:51,068 One got stepped on, 220 00:08:51,136 --> 00:08:53,837 and the other one fell down the garbage disposal. 221 00:08:53,905 --> 00:08:55,072 You're not even trying. 222 00:08:55,140 --> 00:08:57,341 Anyways, stop worrying about the remote control 223 00:08:57,409 --> 00:08:58,708 and worry about your own dog. 224 00:08:58,776 --> 00:09:00,377 She's peeing in the corner. 225 00:09:00,545 --> 00:09:01,912 Maybe if you ever leave her outside, 226 00:09:01,980 --> 00:09:04,982 she will guard us, and we wouldn't need cameras. 227 00:09:05,050 --> 00:09:06,984 First of all, Stella's not peeing in the corner, 228 00:09:07,052 --> 00:09:08,385 because I housebroke her myself. 229 00:09:08,453 --> 00:09:11,588 Second of all, no dog of mine should ever have to work. 230 00:09:11,656 --> 00:09:13,323 There he is. There's my old pal. 231 00:09:13,391 --> 00:09:14,692 - Jay. - How you doing, huh? 232 00:09:14,759 --> 00:09:16,360 I'm so glad you called. 233 00:09:16,428 --> 00:09:18,862 I haven't been good about seeing people since Reynetta left. 234 00:09:18,930 --> 00:09:20,798 Did you hear? She started dating my brother! 235 00:09:20,865 --> 00:09:22,833 Listen, it's such a nice day. Let's go outside. 236 00:09:22,901 --> 00:09:25,169 Isn't your backyard nicer? 237 00:09:25,236 --> 00:09:25,936 Nah. It's all pool and chairs. 238 00:09:26,004 --> 00:09:28,472 So, how you been, buddy? 239 00:09:28,540 --> 00:09:31,041 I want to tell you everything is okay so you won't worry, 240 00:09:31,109 --> 00:09:33,644 - but things have been real bad. - You know what might help? 241 00:09:33,712 --> 00:09:35,612 You pop that hat off, you get a little sun on your face. 242 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,248 Ooh! The sun is rough on my eyes. 243 00:09:38,316 --> 00:09:41,218 I cry almost every day. 244 00:09:41,286 --> 00:09:43,887 Pretty much, the only time I'm happy is when I clean my gun. 245 00:09:43,954 --> 00:09:45,089 Yeah, life, huh? Here, give me a hug. 246 00:09:45,156 --> 00:09:46,256 - There you go. - Oh. 247 00:09:46,324 --> 00:09:48,659 - There you go. - You're a good friend, Jay. 248 00:09:48,727 --> 00:09:50,994 You got your own problems, but you're right there for me. 249 00:09:51,062 --> 00:09:53,230 Damn it! 250 00:09:53,298 --> 00:09:56,033 Why do you need them to know you have a black friend? 251 00:09:56,101 --> 00:09:58,335 I'm putting security cameras in the same day they move in. 252 00:09:58,403 --> 00:10:01,771 I'm mad about that, but it feels good to be held. 253 00:10:01,839 --> 00:10:04,208 Come here. Come here. 254 00:10:05,577 --> 00:10:08,545 Flashbacks, nightmares, anxiety -- 255 00:10:08,613 --> 00:10:10,247 My imprisonment in the closet 256 00:10:10,315 --> 00:10:12,883 resulted in all the symptoms of PTSD. 257 00:10:20,024 --> 00:10:22,926 My insurance company helped me to find a therapy dog 258 00:10:22,994 --> 00:10:24,461 and agreed to cover everything, 259 00:10:24,529 --> 00:10:27,131 and then they found out I wasn't in the military. 260 00:10:34,872 --> 00:10:36,607 Oh, boy. 261 00:10:41,246 --> 00:10:46,016 Hey, Alex, honey, could you help me reset the router?! 262 00:10:52,257 --> 00:10:54,825 Oh! No. 263 00:11:02,700 --> 00:11:05,969 Bad luck! Bad luck!! 264 00:11:10,675 --> 00:11:12,809 Alex's laptop had every piece of homework 265 00:11:12,876 --> 00:11:14,478 she ever did in high school. 266 00:11:14,546 --> 00:11:16,113 It was the Holy Grail... 267 00:11:16,181 --> 00:11:17,815 I think. 268 00:11:17,882 --> 00:11:19,283 Thanks to Alex's hard work, 269 00:11:19,350 --> 00:11:21,985 I don't know what that is and never will. 270 00:11:24,923 --> 00:11:27,191 Not again! 271 00:11:28,860 --> 00:11:30,494 Oh, Dad, I didn't know you were home. 272 00:11:30,562 --> 00:11:31,595 Haley, thank God. 273 00:11:31,663 --> 00:11:33,030 Could you reset the router for me? 274 00:11:33,097 --> 00:11:35,532 I would, but I took a late lunch from work, 275 00:11:35,600 --> 00:11:36,900 which I have to get back to work. 276 00:11:36,968 --> 00:11:38,335 - Are you okay? - I'm fine. 277 00:11:38,403 --> 00:11:40,470 I think I'm just hyperventilating. 278 00:11:40,538 --> 00:11:44,407 Should pass in like 20 minutes or s-so. 279 00:11:44,475 --> 00:11:46,677 Okay, well, I'm gonna head back. 280 00:11:46,744 --> 00:11:48,511 Wouldn't want to be consistently late 281 00:11:47,979 --> 00:11:50,280 and get fired, right? 282 00:11:52,483 --> 00:11:54,084 Alex, honey. 283 00:11:59,858 --> 00:12:00,991 Good girl. 284 00:12:01,059 --> 00:12:03,627 Good girl. 285 00:12:03,695 --> 00:12:05,629 Input! I know you can hear me 286 00:12:05,697 --> 00:12:07,197 because I can see your green light! 287 00:12:07,265 --> 00:12:08,832 It's like one of those videos where the pit bull 288 00:12:08,900 --> 00:12:10,033 swims with the baby chick. 289 00:12:10,101 --> 00:12:12,369 You just know something bad's gonna happen. 290 00:12:12,437 --> 00:12:14,805 Where are your keys? I need the jumper cables. 291 00:12:14,873 --> 00:12:17,341 - What happened? - I spent the last hour in my car, 292 00:12:17,408 --> 00:12:18,976 listening to the Commodores with my windows down, 293 00:12:19,043 --> 00:12:20,878 and the neighbors didn't even come outside. 294 00:12:23,615 --> 00:12:27,084 That must be your good friends the Harlem Globetrotters. 295 00:12:27,151 --> 00:12:29,086 - Hey. - Hey! 296 00:12:29,153 --> 00:12:30,554 Gloria invited us to sit by the pool 297 00:12:30,622 --> 00:12:32,256 till we have to pick up Lily at hip-hop. 298 00:12:32,323 --> 00:12:34,791 My Asian granddaughter takes a hip-hop class? 299 00:12:34,859 --> 00:12:37,127 Why are we not talking about this in the front yard? 300 00:12:37,195 --> 00:12:38,762 We brought cupcakes. Manny, cupcake? 301 00:12:38,830 --> 00:12:41,098 Oh, I see. Fill my mouth with bourgie opiates 302 00:12:41,165 --> 00:12:43,600 - so I can't speak for the people? - That was a lot. 303 00:12:43,668 --> 00:12:46,270 He's trying to get a Communist girl to kiss him. 304 00:12:46,337 --> 00:12:47,738 We have our own kid problems. 305 00:12:47,805 --> 00:12:49,706 I mean, we had an incident this afternoon 306 00:12:49,774 --> 00:12:51,775 during Lily's playdate with Tom, 307 00:12:51,843 --> 00:12:53,976 who used to identify as... Tina. 308 00:12:54,044 --> 00:12:56,179 I don't totally get the hand thing, but I like it. 309 00:12:56,247 --> 00:12:59,249 They had a fight, and Lily said the worst possible thing. 310 00:12:59,317 --> 00:13:01,684 - I mean, that poor boy's been through enough. - Mm. 311 00:13:01,752 --> 00:13:04,755 Oh, I am sure that the parents have gone through a lot, too. 312 00:13:04,822 --> 00:13:06,290 Sure. You just don't get comfortable 313 00:13:06,357 --> 00:13:07,891 with something like that overnight. 314 00:13:07,959 --> 00:13:09,960 Let me ask you guys something. 315 00:13:10,028 --> 00:13:13,297 If, someday, Lily wanted to be Lou 316 00:13:13,364 --> 00:13:15,933 and had the whole chop-chop, bing-bang thing, 317 00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,301 how would you be with that? 318 00:13:17,368 --> 00:13:19,236 - We love Lily. - Lou. 319 00:13:19,304 --> 00:13:20,570 - We love Lou. - Mm-hmm. 320 00:13:20,638 --> 00:13:22,406 - And there's nothing she could do -- - He. 321 00:13:22,473 --> 00:13:24,841 - He.- There's nothing he could do that would change that. 322 00:13:24,908 --> 00:13:28,811 So you wouldn't even need the minute that Tom's parents did? 323 00:13:28,879 --> 00:13:30,314 Well, no, no. Maybe a minute. 324 00:13:30,381 --> 00:13:31,748 I mean, there'd -- there'd be a lot of things 325 00:13:31,816 --> 00:13:33,517 that I'd be giving up that I've always imagined doing, 326 00:13:33,584 --> 00:13:36,018 like -- like walking her down the aisle in her wedding dress. 327 00:13:36,086 --> 00:13:37,421 Or whispering in her husband's ear 328 00:13:37,488 --> 00:13:38,822 that he'll never replace me. 329 00:13:38,890 --> 00:13:40,723 Well, that's interesting, because the minute it took me 330 00:13:40,791 --> 00:13:42,626 to accept the fact that my son 331 00:13:42,694 --> 00:13:45,595 was living a different kind of life than the one that I anticipated, 332 00:13:45,663 --> 00:13:48,699 Mitchell called me an old, straight, white bigot. 333 00:13:48,766 --> 00:13:53,637 And now you're just like me. 334 00:13:53,705 --> 00:13:55,339 Oh, my God, Mitchell. Are we where Lily gets it? 335 00:13:55,406 --> 00:13:57,040 Are we not as open-minded as we think? 336 00:13:57,108 --> 00:13:59,543 But that's our thing -- lording our tolerance over others. 337 00:13:59,610 --> 00:14:01,144 I guess what this proves is, 338 00:14:01,212 --> 00:14:03,013 there's a little bit of prejudice in everyone -- 339 00:14:03,081 --> 00:14:04,114 you, me, 340 00:14:04,182 --> 00:14:05,515 the neighbor across the street 341 00:14:05,583 --> 00:14:06,917 judging me for my cameras. 342 00:14:06,985 --> 00:14:08,752 I'm gonna do what I should have done at the beginning -- 343 00:14:08,820 --> 00:14:10,320 - talk to them. - That's not a good idea. 344 00:14:10,388 --> 00:14:11,288 Watch me! 345 00:14:13,458 --> 00:14:15,926 Joe, you're not going to live outside! 346 00:14:15,994 --> 00:14:18,128 Fine! 347 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,103 Alex is never away from her laptop, 348 00:14:33,177 --> 00:14:35,512 so I had to steal assignments one at a time. 349 00:14:35,580 --> 00:14:37,514 I'm not proud of stealing, 350 00:14:37,582 --> 00:14:40,217 but I'm not unproud of how I'm stealing. 351 00:14:50,061 --> 00:14:52,896 Oh, honey, I'm so sorry, 352 00:14:52,964 --> 00:14:56,733 but now that you're awake, what happened in here, huh? 353 00:14:56,801 --> 00:14:59,102 I'll tell you what happened here -- 354 00:14:59,170 --> 00:15:02,839 the same thing that's been happening all damn day! 355 00:15:02,907 --> 00:15:05,842 Me dealing with animals who don't care 356 00:15:05,910 --> 00:15:08,512 that we are air-conditioning the outside 357 00:15:08,579 --> 00:15:10,414 and insist on rotting their brains 358 00:15:10,481 --> 00:15:13,850 by watching vapid housewives spit wine on each other. 359 00:15:13,918 --> 00:15:18,488 And you. Can't even be bothered to use a plate! 360 00:15:20,792 --> 00:15:22,392 Oh, she's a bummer, huh? 361 00:15:24,762 --> 00:15:26,063 Something funny? 362 00:15:26,130 --> 00:15:27,397 No. 363 00:15:27,465 --> 00:15:29,266 What are you even doing home? 364 00:15:29,333 --> 00:15:31,068 Don't you cat-sit for your boss on Tuesday nights? 365 00:15:31,135 --> 00:15:32,702 Uhhhhhh... 366 00:15:32,770 --> 00:15:34,738 Alex, maybe you'd feel better if we went for a walk 367 00:15:34,806 --> 00:15:36,506 or a ride in the car, huh? Go for a ride in the car! 368 00:15:36,574 --> 00:15:39,009 You know what? There are just too many distractions here. 369 00:15:39,077 --> 00:15:41,578 I don't care how sick I am. I have to go back to college. 370 00:15:41,646 --> 00:15:42,746 - No! - No! - No! 371 00:15:42,814 --> 00:15:45,549 - No, no, no, no, no. - Of course you do! 372 00:15:45,616 --> 00:15:46,817 Was I the kind of person 373 00:15:46,884 --> 00:15:48,652 who would send her sick sister back to school 374 00:15:48,719 --> 00:15:51,655 just to keep her from figuring out I got fired? 375 00:15:51,722 --> 00:15:53,990 Did I use her laptop to get through community college? 376 00:15:54,058 --> 00:15:57,661 Let's get you back there. It's Friday night. 377 00:15:57,728 --> 00:15:59,596 Maybe there's a party you can listen to. 378 00:16:00,943 --> 00:16:02,643 - Excuse me. - Hello. 379 00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:03,467 I don't mean to bug you. 380 00:16:03,482 --> 00:16:05,317 You're just moving in. I'm right across the street. 381 00:16:05,380 --> 00:16:06,847 - Listen. - Let me stop you. 382 00:16:06,955 --> 00:16:08,422 You had the cameras scheduled, 383 00:16:08,489 --> 00:16:10,123 worried about how it would look, 384 00:16:10,191 --> 00:16:13,126 brought your black friend out, blasted Commodores. 385 00:16:13,194 --> 00:16:14,761 It's not my first time 386 00:16:14,829 --> 00:16:17,064 moving into a white neighborhood. 387 00:16:17,131 --> 00:16:19,165 - We're good. - Yeah? 388 00:16:19,233 --> 00:16:22,401 I did my residency in New Hampshire. 389 00:16:22,469 --> 00:16:24,805 All right. Listen, you guys need anything, let me know. 390 00:16:24,872 --> 00:16:27,474 You got it. I'm Shawn, by the way. 391 00:16:27,542 --> 00:16:28,775 - Jay Pritchett. - Jay. 392 00:16:28,843 --> 00:16:31,278 It's okay, Gloria. All handled. 393 00:16:31,346 --> 00:16:32,746 This is my wife, Gloria. 394 00:16:32,814 --> 00:16:34,815 This is Shawn -- and I want to get this right, 395 00:16:34,882 --> 00:16:38,552 beautiful African name -- Shawn M'badawe. 396 00:16:38,620 --> 00:16:42,789 I said, "By the way." 397 00:16:42,857 --> 00:16:46,526 Ah. 398 00:16:47,184 --> 00:16:49,018 Hey, Lily. We need to talk. 399 00:16:49,086 --> 00:16:50,954 I was actually just heading out. 400 00:16:51,021 --> 00:16:52,956 No. Sit down, please. 401 00:16:53,623 --> 00:16:56,026 Look, it was wrong of you to be mean to Tom, okay? 402 00:16:56,094 --> 00:16:57,794 Even though Daddy and I 403 00:16:57,862 --> 00:16:59,696 aren't always as open-minded as we should be, 404 00:16:59,764 --> 00:17:01,865 we -- we want you to be better than us. 405 00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:03,433 O-kay. 406 00:17:03,501 --> 00:17:07,304 No. Listen. We accept people for who they are. 407 00:17:07,382 --> 00:17:09,883 Daddy and I would accept you no matter what -- 408 00:17:09,951 --> 00:17:11,318 boy, girl, gay, straight... 409 00:17:11,386 --> 00:17:14,154 though, if you're a lesbian, please be the fun kind. 410 00:17:14,622 --> 00:17:16,890 I didn't yell at Tom because he used to be Tina. 411 00:17:16,957 --> 00:17:19,926 - What? - I yelled at him 'cause he made fun of... 412 00:17:20,294 --> 00:17:21,929 Made fun of what? 413 00:17:22,597 --> 00:17:25,098 - What's -- What's to make fun of? - Oh, thank God. 414 00:17:25,166 --> 00:17:27,634 He called you guys weirdos for putting that painting up, 415 00:17:27,702 --> 00:17:28,702 so I called him a weirdo. 416 00:17:28,770 --> 00:17:30,170 Well, honey, why didn't you tell us? 417 00:17:30,238 --> 00:17:33,040 'Cause I didn't want your feelings to get hurt. 418 00:17:33,107 --> 00:17:34,274 Get hurt? How? 419 00:17:34,342 --> 00:17:36,376 Because that rube Tom knows nothing about art? 420 00:17:36,444 --> 00:17:37,377 Cam, she was protecting us. 421 00:17:37,445 --> 00:17:40,013 But you don't have to, sweetie, okay? 422 00:17:40,081 --> 00:17:41,548 Don't feel like you can't be honest with us 423 00:17:41,616 --> 00:17:42,349 just to protect our feelings. 424 00:17:42,417 --> 00:17:44,551 - Really? - Really. 425 00:17:44,619 --> 00:17:46,553 Hey, you can tell us anything. 426 00:17:46,621 --> 00:17:48,021 Okay. 427 00:17:48,089 --> 00:17:51,058 I hate the painting, too. 428 00:17:52,927 --> 00:17:57,331 It was hard for us to hear, but in the spirit of tolerance, 429 00:17:57,398 --> 00:17:59,266 we accepted the fact that a 9-year-old 430 00:17:59,334 --> 00:18:00,567 might not want to fall asleep 431 00:18:00,635 --> 00:18:03,603 under the watchful eyes of her half-naked fathers. 432 00:18:03,671 --> 00:18:06,973 Call the Sistine Chapel. I guess art is out. 433 00:18:07,041 --> 00:18:09,309 So, do you hate the whole idea of murals, or just -- 434 00:18:09,377 --> 00:18:12,012 Roll! 435 00:18:14,716 --> 00:18:15,782 It's going to be so exciting 436 00:18:15,850 --> 00:18:17,984 to get back to all that science stuff again. 437 00:18:18,052 --> 00:18:20,520 You know -- beakers, calculators, ray guns. 438 00:18:20,588 --> 00:18:21,822 Alex, are you sure you don't want 439 00:18:21,889 --> 00:18:24,024 to spend a few more days here to recover? 440 00:18:24,092 --> 00:18:26,059 You can sleep on the end of our bed if you want to. 441 00:18:26,127 --> 00:18:28,895 - Yeah, stay, Alex. - Sleeping does sound good. 442 00:18:28,963 --> 00:18:30,263 Doesn't it? 443 00:18:30,331 --> 00:18:32,999 But, first, how about you take a nice, hot shower? 444 00:18:33,067 --> 00:18:36,002 I just hope that big pile of wet towels isn't on the floor 445 00:18:36,069 --> 00:18:37,069 like it was this morning. 446 00:18:37,137 --> 00:18:39,005 Aww, you guys are so sweet. 447 00:18:39,073 --> 00:18:40,340 No, but what -- what about all the science stuff? 448 00:18:40,408 --> 00:18:43,377 All the fun. You know -- snapping each other in the butts 449 00:18:43,444 --> 00:18:44,244 with your goggle straps. 450 00:18:44,312 --> 00:18:46,413 You know what? Staying here a few more days 451 00:18:46,481 --> 00:18:48,615 may help me kick this sickness a little faster. 452 00:18:48,683 --> 00:18:49,783 - There you go. - Wait a second. 453 00:18:49,851 --> 00:18:52,352 I thought I already packed my laptop. 454 00:18:52,420 --> 00:18:53,954 Why is it on the hallway table? 455 00:18:54,021 --> 00:18:55,722 Uh, why is anything anywhere? 456 00:18:55,789 --> 00:18:57,858 Why aren't our feet at the end of our arms? 457 00:18:57,925 --> 00:19:00,694 Who opened my 12th-grade Grapes of Wrath essay? 458 00:19:00,762 --> 00:19:01,928 Uh... 459 00:19:01,996 --> 00:19:03,897 Oh, my God. You just want me to stay here 460 00:19:03,965 --> 00:19:05,599 so you can steal all of my old homework. 461 00:19:05,666 --> 00:19:06,666 Wow. I can't wait to hear what you have 462 00:19:06,734 --> 00:19:08,335 to say about this lapse in judgment. 463 00:19:08,403 --> 00:19:10,169 Hey, it's better than what Mom's doing. 464 00:19:10,237 --> 00:19:12,072 She's just using you to yell at us. 465 00:19:12,140 --> 00:19:13,540 I would nip that back talk in the bud. 466 00:19:13,608 --> 00:19:15,409 I can't believe it. He's right! 467 00:19:15,476 --> 00:19:16,943 Honey, you're getting upset again. 468 00:19:17,011 --> 00:19:18,345 Come on. Let's go get a treat. 469 00:19:18,413 --> 00:19:20,847 Stop with the petting and -- and the walks. 470 00:19:20,915 --> 00:19:22,516 You're using me as a therapy dog. 471 00:19:22,583 --> 00:19:23,383 That's ridiculi-- 472 00:19:23,451 --> 00:19:25,419 Am I? 473 00:19:25,486 --> 00:19:27,454 Well... what about what Luke's doing? 474 00:19:27,522 --> 00:19:28,822 We just dealt with him. 475 00:19:28,890 --> 00:19:30,123 And, Haley... 476 00:19:30,191 --> 00:19:34,227 you are the only one who really cares about me. 477 00:19:34,295 --> 00:19:36,963 That's it! I'm going back to school. 478 00:19:37,031 --> 00:19:37,864 I will drive you, sweetie. 479 00:19:37,932 --> 00:19:40,300 Alex, no. Stop! Stay! 480 00:19:40,368 --> 00:19:42,102 How do you ask a human not to go, again? 481 00:19:42,170 --> 00:19:43,236 - Alex, wait! - Right. 482 00:19:44,705 --> 00:19:46,740 We're still leaving. She's just catching her breath. 483 00:19:46,808 --> 00:19:49,175 - Come on. - I feel so bad. I had no idea what I was doing. 484 00:19:49,242 --> 00:19:51,678 I feel worse. I really, really knew what I was doing. 485 00:19:51,746 --> 00:19:54,080 Our poor sick daughter. We should be taking care of her. 486 00:19:54,147 --> 00:19:55,649 So, is knowing all this enough, 487 00:19:55,716 --> 00:19:57,651 or do we have to, like, do something? 488 00:19:58,753 --> 00:19:59,986 Breaks my heart. 489 00:20:00,054 --> 00:20:02,722 I should quit my job and nurse her back to health. 490 00:20:02,790 --> 00:20:04,724 You got fired, didn't you? 491 00:20:05,560 --> 00:20:07,094 Alex had to take the semester off. 492 00:20:07,162 --> 00:20:09,163 I was disappointed 'cause she was disappointed, 493 00:20:09,231 --> 00:20:12,700 but I was also kind of happy to have her home a little longer. 494 00:20:12,768 --> 00:20:14,635 - Aww. - Mask! 495 00:20:17,806 --> 00:20:18,373 Cam? 496 00:20:18,468 --> 00:20:19,935 Oh, I just wanted to tell her how proud I was 497 00:20:20,003 --> 00:20:22,504 of how she handled herself today, but she's already asleep. 498 00:20:22,572 --> 00:20:23,739 Well, you can tell her in the morning, okay? 499 00:20:23,807 --> 00:20:26,042 Oh, by the way, I found an article online 500 00:20:26,109 --> 00:20:28,010 about a family of Montenegrin art restorers -- 501 00:20:28,078 --> 00:20:29,679 Let it go, babe. Come on. Come on. 502 00:20:29,746 --> 00:20:31,947 Oh, Cam. 503 00:20:32,716 --> 00:20:35,217 Look what she did. 504 00:20:39,730 --> 00:20:41,730 Jay, what are you doing? Come to bed. 505 00:20:41,956 --> 00:20:43,857 I've got these new state-of-the-art cameras. 506 00:20:43,923 --> 00:20:45,357 I thought I'd review the day, 507 00:20:45,425 --> 00:20:47,459 see how many times our neighbor glared at us. 508 00:20:47,527 --> 00:20:49,194 Wait a second. 509 00:20:49,262 --> 00:20:52,664 Is that Manny licking cupcake wrappers from the trash? 510 00:20:52,732 --> 00:20:54,233 I knew he'd fold. 511 00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:56,534 Ah, the vigor. It's almost pornographic. 512 00:20:56,742 --> 00:20:58,577 Are these cameras everywhere? 513 00:20:58,661 --> 00:20:59,962 Yeah. That's the garbage area. 514 00:21:00,029 --> 00:21:02,730 Then we got the backyard, front door. 515 00:21:02,798 --> 00:21:04,933 Go inside. Wait. 516 00:21:05,001 --> 00:21:07,602 That's Joe peeing in the corner, not Stella. 517 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,601 That's it. He lives outside now. 518 00:21:09,669 --> 00:21:11,704 Come. We'll watch him from the cameras. 519 00:21:11,972 --> 00:21:13,272 Hold on. 520 00:21:14,367 --> 00:21:16,034 You have a problem. 521 00:21:16,102 --> 00:21:17,970 I'm gonna get you one of those rubber remotes 522 00:21:18,037 --> 00:21:20,539 they put in nursery schools and insane asylums. 523 00:21:20,607 --> 00:21:21,707 Thank you. 524 00:21:21,774 --> 00:21:27,540 Sync and corrections by gloriabg www.addic7ed.com