1
00:00:08,890 --> 00:00:14,258
♪ I walk for miles ♪

2
00:00:14,278 --> 00:00:19,258
♪ I came for you ♪

3
00:00:19,259 --> 00:00:24,391
♪ Stop for a while ♪

4
00:00:24,392 --> 00:00:28,059
♪ What's left to do? ♪

5
00:00:29,625 --> 00:00:34,991
♪ Left there so tired ♪

6
00:00:34,992 --> 00:00:38,392
♪ Won't hold of you ♪

7
00:00:40,792 --> 00:00:42,792
♪ ♪

8
00:00:47,992 --> 00:00:51,925
♪ Set my heart is too ♪

9
00:00:55,359 --> 00:00:56,858
(quietly): Yes!

10
00:00:56,859 --> 00:00:58,124
(exhales)

11
00:00:58,125 --> 00:01:01,525
♪ Set my beats on you. ♪

12
00:01:11,459 --> 00:01:13,459
♪ ♪

13
00:01:21,292 --> 00:01:23,825
♪ ♪

14
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:43,224
♪ I'm gonna leave you anyway ♪

15
00:01:43,225 --> 00:01:45,991
♪ I'm gonna leave you anyway ♪

16
00:01:45,992 --> 00:01:48,392
♪ Gonna leave you anyway. ♪

17
00:01:48,412 --> 00:01:53,172
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
~ www.addic7ed.com ~

18
00:01:53,192 --> 00:01:56,758
Jimmy: He went to wipe it away,
and she said, "No. Leave it."

19
00:01:56,759 --> 00:02:00,220
And there it lay,
like a raindrop, tremulous,

20
00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,437
quivering...

21
00:02:02,457 --> 00:02:07,195
on the hood of her father's
beloved Aston Martin.

22
00:02:09,574 --> 00:02:11,039
(exhales)

23
00:02:11,040 --> 00:02:12,640
(doorbell rings)

24
00:02:32,700 --> 00:02:33,906
(sighs)

25
00:02:34,444 --> 00:02:36,056
Okay.

26
00:02:37,474 --> 00:02:39,573
Ugh! My car's doing that thing

27
00:02:39,574 --> 00:02:41,406
where if I take my hands
off the steering wheel

28
00:02:41,407 --> 00:02:43,339
for more than, like,
ten seconds at a time,

29
00:02:43,340 --> 00:02:44,906
it starts dripping all over the rug.

30
00:02:44,907 --> 00:02:46,674
This came for you.

31
00:02:52,034 --> 00:02:55,584
What?! We can litter
in our own front yard now?!

32
00:03:00,407 --> 00:03:01,739
So...

33
00:03:01,740 --> 00:03:04,506
my boss wants me to take
this new client out.

34
00:03:04,507 --> 00:03:07,106
Oh, I swear to God,
the last thing I need

35
00:03:07,107 --> 00:03:09,685
is another crazy
high-maintenance musician.

36
00:03:09,705 --> 00:03:13,206
Oh, my God! I just got
some video of a raccoon

37
00:03:13,207 --> 00:03:16,773
running down our street with
two fistfuls of Chinese food.

38
00:03:16,774 --> 00:03:20,006
The Internet is gonna go bonkers
for Chow Mein Raccoon.

39
00:03:20,007 --> 00:03:21,806
Oh, hey, this came for you.

40
00:03:21,807 --> 00:03:23,806
I know. It's trash.

41
00:03:23,807 --> 00:03:25,590
What is it? My father's ashes.

42
00:03:25,610 --> 00:03:27,040
(screaming)

43
00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:30,439
Oh, I have to!

44
00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,106
- (screams)
- Okay.

45
00:03:32,107 --> 00:03:33,640
(groans)

46
00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:38,920
BOTH: Oh!

47
00:03:38,940 --> 00:03:41,673
Oh, Jimmy! Ew! Ew!

48
00:03:41,674 --> 00:03:44,039
It's all chunky! (groaning)

49
00:03:44,040 --> 00:03:45,506
(grunts)

50
00:03:45,507 --> 00:03:47,373
Oh, there's a note. (blowing)

51
00:03:47,374 --> 00:03:49,552
Oh, hey, guys, sorry, I-I don't have

52
00:03:49,572 --> 00:03:51,373
my pot card yet, so...

53
00:03:51,374 --> 00:03:52,874
Eject.

54
00:03:55,040 --> 00:03:56,974
(scoffs softly)

55
00:03:58,942 --> 00:04:00,473
(British accent): "Shitty Jimmy,

56
00:04:00,474 --> 00:04:02,139
here's Dad's ashes.

57
00:04:02,140 --> 00:04:04,139
He wanted you to have
a memorial for him,

58
00:04:04,140 --> 00:04:06,507
because you're rich and
talk good." (laughs)

59
00:04:08,089 --> 00:04:09,593
- You gonna do it?
- Absolutely.

60
00:04:09,613 --> 00:04:11,873
I'm gonna just stop
writing my book because

61
00:04:11,874 --> 00:04:14,339
my father thinks I should
throw him a memorial service

62
00:04:14,340 --> 00:04:18,039
despite forgetting
my birthdays five through 33.

63
00:04:18,040 --> 00:04:20,673
Quick, let's rent the Coolhaus truck!

64
00:04:20,674 --> 00:04:22,673
Jimmy, you know I'm here
if you ever want to...

65
00:04:22,674 --> 00:04:24,689
Have sex? Great. Let's go.

66
00:04:24,709 --> 00:04:26,373
Okay. But I have a meeting later.

67
00:04:26,374 --> 00:04:29,740
So just keep me clean from... here up.

68
00:04:37,807 --> 00:04:39,906
- This...
- (door closes)

69
00:04:40,749 --> 00:04:41,990
is Raul.

70
00:04:42,010 --> 00:04:44,142
He's interested in playing with us.

71
00:04:44,162 --> 00:04:46,246
So, we're all playing?

72
00:04:46,266 --> 00:04:49,091
Well, you'll be watching
me and Raul playing.

73
00:04:49,111 --> 00:04:52,253
And absolutely, down the line...

74
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:54,635
we could do whatever your thing is.

75
00:04:54,655 --> 00:04:57,305
- Well, actually...
- Yeah, down the line.

76
00:05:00,858 --> 00:05:02,754
I don't know if I can do this.

77
00:05:02,755 --> 00:05:04,087
I mean, I don't even like

78
00:05:04,088 --> 00:05:05,954
watching other men put gas in my car.

79
00:05:05,955 --> 00:05:08,187
- But you said!
- I'm sorry. I just can't.

80
00:05:08,188 --> 00:05:09,887
(pants)

81
00:05:09,888 --> 00:05:12,120
Maybe we could get a couple's massage.

82
00:05:12,121 --> 00:05:14,154
Or I saw a Groupon

83
00:05:14,155 --> 00:05:16,220
for boudoir photography.

84
00:05:16,221 --> 00:05:18,219
I could wear a fedora.

85
00:05:18,239 --> 00:05:20,069
You could be my client

86
00:05:20,089 --> 00:05:23,887
whose legs go all the
way down to the floor.

87
00:05:24,487 --> 00:05:26,866
That sounds...

88
00:05:27,255 --> 00:05:29,421
(sighs) fine.

89
00:05:33,055 --> 00:05:34,987
(gentle music playing)

90
00:05:35,372 --> 00:05:36,955
May I have this dance?

91
00:05:38,580 --> 00:05:39,887
(chuckles)

92
00:05:39,888 --> 00:05:41,341
See?

93
00:05:41,361 --> 00:05:44,154
- We still have spark.
- (both laugh)

94
00:05:44,155 --> 00:05:47,288
I'd dip you, but my
stitches might pop out.

95
00:05:52,162 --> 00:05:54,954
Honestly, Gretchen,
I never cared about publicity.

96
00:05:54,955 --> 00:05:57,087
I mean, I was always just Ben Folds,

97
00:05:57,088 --> 00:05:59,679
regular guy from North
Carolina who plays piano

98
00:05:59,699 --> 00:06:02,597
and smokes a pretty decent
pork shoulder.

99
00:06:02,738 --> 00:06:05,087
Anyway, since I've relocated to L.A.,

100
00:06:05,088 --> 00:06:06,954
I guess I have to play the game now.

101
00:06:06,955 --> 00:06:08,757
So here we are.

102
00:06:08,933 --> 00:06:10,087
I got to say,

103
00:06:10,088 --> 00:06:13,154
I was half expecting you to be
another high-maintenance diva.

104
00:06:13,155 --> 00:06:15,400
Oh, no, you're probably
thinking of Ben Kweller.

105
00:06:15,420 --> 00:06:17,954
I'm so sorry, but I-I
really love your music.

106
00:06:17,955 --> 00:06:20,187
- No, no, no, no, I'm sorry.
- It means a lot to me and my son.

107
00:06:20,188 --> 00:06:22,320
- Mr. Folds and I are in a...
- It's okay, it's okay.

108
00:06:22,321 --> 00:06:24,717
- What's his name?
- Uh, Riley.

109
00:06:24,737 --> 00:06:27,054
Riley. And what's Riley's thing?

110
00:06:27,055 --> 00:06:29,687
He's, uh, pretty into baseball.

111
00:06:29,688 --> 00:06:31,055
Yeah?

112
00:06:36,475 --> 00:06:39,454
Wow! I had no idea you
were also an artist.

113
00:06:39,455 --> 00:06:41,287
You're everywhere, man!

114
00:06:41,288 --> 00:06:43,321
Well, maybe I'll run into you again.

115
00:06:44,355 --> 00:06:47,779
Wow! You were so nice to him.

116
00:06:47,799 --> 00:06:50,320
A girl once asked my client
Sam for his autograph,

117
00:06:50,321 --> 00:06:52,154
and he threw her crutches into traffic.

118
00:06:52,155 --> 00:06:54,154
Oh, I don't know
about all that, Gretchen.

119
00:06:54,155 --> 00:06:57,342
I-I'm just a regular guy
from North Carolina

120
00:06:57,362 --> 00:07:01,265
who plays piano and smokes
a pretty decent pork shoulder.

121
00:07:06,355 --> 00:07:08,920
Got to say, Dad, the work is flowing

122
00:07:08,921 --> 00:07:11,221
like it's never flowed before.

123
00:07:12,255 --> 00:07:13,488
Okay.

124
00:07:15,413 --> 00:07:17,820
Settle in.

125
00:07:17,821 --> 00:07:19,387
(sighs)

126
00:07:19,388 --> 00:07:22,420
"Normally, she hated to be on top.

127
00:07:22,421 --> 00:07:25,454
She liked the weight of a man
pressing down on her,

128
00:07:25,455 --> 00:07:30,254
the liberation of not having
real agency in the shameful act.

129
00:07:30,255 --> 00:07:34,220
But to be astride the man
was the only way she could keep

130
00:07:34,221 --> 00:07:37,020
her gaze trained on the two-way mirror.

131
00:07:37,021 --> 00:07:40,054
Because when Kitty looked
into her reflection"

132
00:07:40,055 --> 00:07:41,954
and met her eyes,

133
00:07:41,955 --> 00:07:45,952
she knew she was
also meeting Simon's eyes.

134
00:07:46,888 --> 00:07:49,387
Her brother's eyes."

135
00:07:49,388 --> 00:07:50,887
(chuckles): Whoa!

136
00:07:50,888 --> 00:07:54,022
You did not see
that one coming, did you?

137
00:07:54,042 --> 00:07:56,120
Okay, that's it, we're having a funeral.

138
00:07:56,121 --> 00:07:58,456
Your butt's gonna have a funeral
when I'm through with it.

139
00:07:58,476 --> 00:08:00,054
(laughs)

140
00:08:00,055 --> 00:08:03,754
Jimmy, clearly you need some closure.

141
00:08:03,755 --> 00:08:05,587
My therapist told me about this.

142
00:08:05,588 --> 00:08:09,820
Apparently, if you don't deal
with your emotional crap,

143
00:08:09,821 --> 00:08:12,254
it can mess your shit up later.

144
00:08:12,255 --> 00:08:13,820
(scoffs) Fine.

145
00:08:13,821 --> 00:08:16,387
Uh, we'll invite a few people over,

146
00:08:16,388 --> 00:08:17,754
and then call it a day.

147
00:08:17,755 --> 00:08:19,654
- You have to make a speech.
- Ack!

148
00:08:19,655 --> 00:08:21,987
The note said you talk good.

149
00:08:21,988 --> 00:08:24,618
Everybody know Jimmy talk real good.

150
00:08:26,794 --> 00:08:31,020
Next we have Item 7-A,
which is the reading...

151
00:08:31,021 --> 00:08:32,917
Whoa! What?

152
00:08:32,937 --> 00:08:34,254
What?

153
00:08:34,255 --> 00:08:35,520
Okay.

154
00:08:35,521 --> 00:08:37,820
City Council Member Todd Winterer

155
00:08:37,821 --> 00:08:40,820
initiated legislation
regarding a bus accident,

156
00:08:40,821 --> 00:08:44,854
but Council Member
Pam O'Connel abstained.

157
00:08:44,855 --> 00:08:46,787
Pam O'Connel!

158
00:08:46,788 --> 00:08:48,587
Who recommended the purchase

159
00:08:48,588 --> 00:08:52,087
of two natural gas street sweepers.

160
00:08:52,088 --> 00:08:53,754
But guess who voted nay.

161
00:08:53,755 --> 00:08:55,520
Todd Winterer.

162
00:08:55,521 --> 00:08:58,103
Now, ask yourself why.

163
00:08:58,123 --> 00:08:59,320
Well, because...

164
00:08:59,321 --> 00:09:01,820
(doorbell rings)

165
00:09:01,821 --> 00:09:04,120
That must be the food.

166
00:09:04,121 --> 00:09:06,121
(TV continues playing quietly)

167
00:09:10,688 --> 00:09:13,137
- (door opens)
- Paul: Oh, my.

168
00:09:13,157 --> 00:09:15,520
You're not the food delivery person.

169
00:09:15,521 --> 00:09:17,521
(door closes)

170
00:09:19,388 --> 00:09:21,620
Paul. What's going on?

171
00:09:22,077 --> 00:09:26,095
Lindsay, I know how important
this is to you, so...

172
00:09:26,115 --> 00:09:28,658
I found the gentleman
you picked out on the Web site.

173
00:09:28,678 --> 00:09:31,154
We FaceTimed, and he's very nice.

174
00:09:31,155 --> 00:09:33,164
He goes to Loyola Marymount.

175
00:09:33,490 --> 00:09:34,688
Go Lions.

176
00:09:37,870 --> 00:09:38,987
Paul.

177
00:09:38,988 --> 00:09:40,854
Anything for our family.

178
00:09:41,817 --> 00:09:43,854
Okay, so I don't know how this works.

179
00:09:43,855 --> 00:09:47,354
Is there, like, a discussion
about what's appropriate?

180
00:09:47,355 --> 00:09:48,754
Or, uh...

181
00:09:48,755 --> 00:09:51,391
- Go sit over there.
- Okay.

182
00:09:51,888 --> 00:09:53,888
♪ ♪

183
00:10:08,223 --> 00:10:10,091
(slap, Lindsay moans)

184
00:10:10,707 --> 00:10:13,982
So what I found is that
marijuana really helps me

185
00:10:14,002 --> 00:10:16,109
with my symptoms, and
I-I was just wondering

186
00:10:16,129 --> 00:10:18,428
if there's some sort of form
I could fill out to make sure

187
00:10:18,429 --> 00:10:21,028
that it doesn't interfere
with my other benefits.

188
00:10:21,029 --> 00:10:23,261
You just walked into
a government building

189
00:10:23,262 --> 00:10:27,680
and asked if we'd be cool
with you taking illegal drugs.

190
00:10:27,700 --> 00:10:30,661
Maybe on your way home
you can stop at the DMV

191
00:10:30,662 --> 00:10:32,528
and ask if they'll let you
steal some cars.

192
00:10:32,529 --> 00:10:34,461
Well, pot is legal in California.

193
00:10:34,462 --> 00:10:35,715
Oh.

194
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:39,294
You mean the independent
nation of California?

195
00:10:39,870 --> 00:10:41,361
Is that the army you fought for?

196
00:10:41,362 --> 00:10:42,828
The Army of California?

197
00:10:42,829 --> 00:10:44,161
How'd they pay you?

198
00:10:44,162 --> 00:10:45,994
Avocados and screenplays?

199
00:10:45,995 --> 00:10:48,801
Wait. So are you saying that I
can't use marijuana medicinally,

200
00:10:48,821 --> 00:10:50,620
even though it's legal in this state?

201
00:10:50,621 --> 00:10:51,854
I said no such thing.

202
00:10:51,855 --> 00:10:53,320
So I can use it?

203
00:10:53,321 --> 00:10:54,787
I don't know.

204
00:10:55,368 --> 00:10:57,887
All I know is that...

205
00:10:57,888 --> 00:11:00,787
(quietly): marijuana is
a Schedule 1 narcotic.

206
00:11:00,788 --> 00:11:02,154
And you're asking me,

207
00:11:02,155 --> 00:11:04,708
a government employee,
if you can take it.

208
00:11:04,981 --> 00:11:07,287
Let's call the police and ask them.

209
00:11:07,288 --> 00:11:09,247
- No, they won't have...
- Hey, police.

210
00:11:09,267 --> 00:11:11,232
Which federally illegal drugs

211
00:11:11,252 --> 00:11:15,137
can this guy take that
will be cool with the V.A.?

212
00:11:15,428 --> 00:11:17,499
They want to talk to you.

213
00:11:24,688 --> 00:11:26,587
(sighs)

214
00:11:26,588 --> 00:11:28,588
(over P.A.): Number 83.

215
00:11:32,055 --> 00:11:33,721
(footsteps approaching)

216
00:11:36,221 --> 00:11:38,087
Is that your eulogy?

217
00:11:38,088 --> 00:11:39,654
Of sorts.

218
00:11:39,655 --> 00:11:41,648
I've prepared a list of heckles.

219
00:11:41,668 --> 00:11:43,720
Jimmy, shouldn't a eulogy be heartfelt?

220
00:11:43,721 --> 00:11:46,954
All my father ever did
was take the piss.

221
00:11:46,955 --> 00:11:49,209
But I like the area you're in.

222
00:11:49,229 --> 00:11:51,720
How about, "Dad, I hope
you truly do rest in peace"?

223
00:11:51,721 --> 00:11:52,795
Oh.

224
00:11:52,815 --> 00:11:54,620
As opposed to how you usually rest,

225
00:11:54,621 --> 00:11:56,869
in a pair of urine-soaked
sweatpants. (laughs)

226
00:11:56,889 --> 00:11:58,730
(knock on door)

227
00:12:01,758 --> 00:12:02,887
Jimmy!

228
00:12:02,888 --> 00:12:04,687
It's me, Freddy.

229
00:12:04,688 --> 00:12:06,787
I worked with your dad at the plant.

230
00:12:06,788 --> 00:12:08,787
Oh, yes, now I remember you.

231
00:12:08,788 --> 00:12:10,720
You and dad used to show up at school

232
00:12:10,721 --> 00:12:13,348
and heckle me during gym class.

233
00:12:13,368 --> 00:12:15,914
- What do you want?
- I live in Fresno with me daughter now.

234
00:12:15,934 --> 00:12:17,910
Your sisters want me
to follow up with you.

235
00:12:17,930 --> 00:12:19,238
Apparently, you blocked their numbers,

236
00:12:19,258 --> 00:12:20,790
and they want me to tell you:

237
00:12:20,791 --> 00:12:23,223
A, you're to have the funeral;

238
00:12:23,224 --> 00:12:25,830
B, to make sure to scatter his ashes;

239
00:12:25,850 --> 00:12:28,357
and C, don't fall into any shit.

240
00:12:28,358 --> 00:12:30,106
Ah! Well, tell them:

241
00:12:30,126 --> 00:12:32,397
A, we're already having
a service tomorrow;

242
00:12:32,417 --> 00:12:35,890
B, I will scatter his ashes,
into the toilet;

243
00:12:35,891 --> 00:12:37,970
and, C, you're grossly obese,

244
00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:39,697
brush your teeth, and you're a whore...

245
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,590
In descending chronological birth order.

246
00:12:41,591 --> 00:12:43,397
Brilliant! Oh.

247
00:12:43,417 --> 00:12:46,123
I also have something
I'd like to read about Ronny,

248
00:12:46,124 --> 00:12:47,723
if it's okay with you.

249
00:12:47,724 --> 00:12:50,223
Actually, that sounds great.

250
00:12:50,224 --> 00:12:52,490
Yeah, tomorrow at 7:00.
And bring something to drink.

251
00:12:52,491 --> 00:12:55,057
If it's rosé, just keep it
Cotes de Provence.

252
00:12:55,058 --> 00:12:56,490
And maybe some ice.

253
00:12:56,491 --> 00:12:59,067
Cotes de Provence, ice.

254
00:12:59,087 --> 00:13:02,390
(quietly): Cotes de Provence, ice.

255
00:13:02,391 --> 00:13:04,769
- Well, I'm off the hook.
- What do you mean?

256
00:13:04,789 --> 00:13:06,005
We'll have the wake,

257
00:13:06,025 --> 00:13:10,590
that old fart will do the
eulogy and bring ice.

258
00:13:10,591 --> 00:13:12,591
It's perfect.

259
00:13:18,158 --> 00:13:19,890
♪ ♪

260
00:13:19,891 --> 00:13:22,158
(singers vocalizing)

261
00:13:29,324 --> 00:13:32,190
(chuckles) When Raul was
doing me from behind,

262
00:13:32,191 --> 00:13:36,591
and I was thrusting my hips,
that was so hot, right?

263
00:13:41,091 --> 00:13:43,258
♪ My family deserted me... ♪

264
00:13:46,358 --> 00:13:47,458
(chuckles)

265
00:13:48,933 --> 00:13:50,523
Oh, look.

266
00:13:50,524 --> 00:13:52,857
There's a bowl of candy in a quadcopter.

267
00:13:52,858 --> 00:13:54,771
Entertain yourself.

268
00:13:57,141 --> 00:13:59,723
Ben? What are you doing here?

269
00:13:59,724 --> 00:14:03,312
Your office said you'd
recently experienced a loss.

270
00:14:03,332 --> 00:14:05,723
- So I wanted to bring some flowers.
- Oh.

271
00:14:05,724 --> 00:14:07,723
And, of course, some of
my famous pork shoulder.

272
00:14:07,724 --> 00:14:10,161
- Oh.
- It's just what you do.

273
00:14:10,181 --> 00:14:11,347
May I ask who passed?

274
00:14:11,348 --> 00:14:13,013
Oh, my boyfriend's father.

275
00:14:13,014 --> 00:14:14,680
Oh, gosh, oh, no.

276
00:14:14,681 --> 00:14:16,934
That's terrible, terrible news.

277
00:14:16,954 --> 00:14:19,113
I'm incredibly close to my Papa.

278
00:14:19,114 --> 00:14:21,780
Funerals are so important.

279
00:14:21,781 --> 00:14:23,686
- Who's playing?
- Playing music?

280
00:14:23,706 --> 00:14:26,559
Oh, uh... no one?

281
00:14:26,744 --> 00:14:28,747
(sighs) I've got my piano in the truck.

282
00:14:28,748 --> 00:14:30,747
Okay, sure, that's...

283
00:14:30,748 --> 00:14:32,814
incredibly generous of you.

284
00:14:34,548 --> 00:14:35,747
(chuckles)

285
00:14:35,748 --> 00:14:37,713
Thank you, my love.

286
00:14:37,714 --> 00:14:39,314
(both chuckle)

287
00:14:40,196 --> 00:14:42,880
Whoops. Bubbles.

288
00:14:42,881 --> 00:14:45,718
Can't risk another epiglottal infection.

289
00:14:45,738 --> 00:14:47,881
I'll just run and swap this out.

290
00:14:50,326 --> 00:14:53,413
Something is up with you
two, and I don't like it.

291
00:14:53,414 --> 00:14:55,016
- What's going on?
- You'd be happy, too,

292
00:14:55,036 --> 00:14:56,613
if you weren't so poor now.

293
00:14:56,614 --> 00:14:59,447
Because you're my sister,
and I love you,

294
00:14:59,448 --> 00:15:02,480
I'll go sneak some
spanakopitas into my purse

295
00:15:02,481 --> 00:15:06,181
and give them to you later,
so you can feed your baby.

296
00:15:11,414 --> 00:15:12,480
(stifled sob)

297
00:15:12,481 --> 00:15:14,481
(piano playing somber melody)

298
00:15:17,854 --> 00:15:20,147
Hey, do you have any weed?

299
00:15:20,148 --> 00:15:23,280
I can't afford it with this
stupid budget Becca's got me on,

300
00:15:23,281 --> 00:15:25,180
so I've been smoking dried banana peels.

301
00:15:25,181 --> 00:15:27,180
Why don't you just get a pot card?

302
00:15:27,181 --> 00:15:29,147
The V.A. says it'll
mess with my benefits,

303
00:15:29,148 --> 00:15:31,813
but it's, like, the only
thing that helps, so...

304
00:15:31,814 --> 00:15:33,280
I don't know what to do.

305
00:15:33,281 --> 00:15:35,113
The doctor in me is like,

306
00:15:35,114 --> 00:15:37,031
you're the patient, take
what you've been prescribed,

307
00:15:37,051 --> 00:15:38,547
you dumb little bitch.

308
00:15:38,548 --> 00:15:39,813
Yeah, that's what I figured.

309
00:15:39,814 --> 00:15:41,680
But the human in me is like,

310
00:15:41,681 --> 00:15:43,447
"Smoke that ganj, yo."

311
00:15:43,448 --> 00:15:46,813
Real talk? It's bullroar that
you can't get a pot card.

312
00:15:46,814 --> 00:15:47,980
You went to war.

313
00:15:47,981 --> 00:15:50,083
And straight berserkered on fools.

314
00:15:50,103 --> 00:15:51,586
That's an actual reason.

315
00:15:51,606 --> 00:15:55,113
Like, everyone at this party has
a pot card for a dumb reason.

316
00:15:55,114 --> 00:15:57,213
Gretchen said she had insomnia.

317
00:15:57,214 --> 00:15:59,447
Lindsay said her back hurt.

318
00:15:59,886 --> 00:16:01,906
Piano fingers.

319
00:16:02,250 --> 00:16:03,851
What reason did you use?

320
00:16:03,871 --> 00:16:05,347
I just said I saw a dog.

321
00:16:05,818 --> 00:16:07,901
- Did you?
- No, man. Total lie.

322
00:16:07,921 --> 00:16:09,180
I didn't see a dog all day.

323
00:16:09,181 --> 00:16:11,180
Well, on TV, sure.

324
00:16:11,181 --> 00:16:14,680
You can't turn on a TV without seeing,
like, or four of them shits.

325
00:16:14,681 --> 00:16:16,480
(clears throat)

326
00:16:16,481 --> 00:16:17,713
(music stops)

327
00:16:17,714 --> 00:16:20,747
Hello. Thank you all for coming
to the memorial service

328
00:16:20,748 --> 00:16:23,347
for my father, Ronny Overly.

329
00:16:23,348 --> 00:16:25,213
His friend Freddie will do the eulogy,

330
00:16:25,214 --> 00:16:27,213
we'll toast, and then you will leave.

331
00:16:27,214 --> 00:16:29,213
- (Freddie claps)
- (Piano plays upbeat tune)

332
00:16:29,214 --> 00:16:30,873
Cheers.

333
00:16:31,599 --> 00:16:34,013
- Cheers, everyone.
- (Piano plays flourish)

334
00:16:34,678 --> 00:16:37,728
Ronny Overly was not only my coworker.

335
00:16:38,179 --> 00:16:40,003
He was my hero.

336
00:16:40,223 --> 00:16:41,847
He cherished his family,

337
00:16:41,848 --> 00:16:44,213
especially his son, Jimmy.

338
00:16:44,787 --> 00:16:47,247
I remember when I came
out to visit Jimmy.

339
00:16:47,248 --> 00:16:49,465
Oh, bloody hell.

340
00:16:49,485 --> 00:16:51,780
This was supposed to be
in the third person.

341
00:16:51,781 --> 00:16:54,847
"Oh, well. Ha, ha. It's me, Ronny.

342
00:16:55,869 --> 00:16:59,578
I wrote this in pen,
so I might as well keep going.

343
00:16:59,974 --> 00:17:03,513
I just realized Freddie
has to read whatever I say.

344
00:17:04,476 --> 00:17:07,180
My name is Freddie, and I'm a..."

345
00:17:07,181 --> 00:17:08,680
I'm not reading that.

346
00:17:09,028 --> 00:17:10,602
Skipping forward.

347
00:17:10,622 --> 00:17:14,513
"Anyway, I did my best to
love him, but he rejected me.

348
00:17:14,937 --> 00:17:17,475
I sent him presents, I visited,

349
00:17:17,495 --> 00:17:19,904
I Facebook-requested him.

350
00:17:20,133 --> 00:17:22,548
Anyway, I forgive him.

351
00:17:22,568 --> 00:17:26,413
Please scatter my ashes at the
home of actor Tony Shalhoub,

352
00:17:26,414 --> 00:17:30,309
whose movie Big Night
you and I attended together.

353
00:17:30,329 --> 00:17:31,780
What's that, Fi?"

354
00:17:31,781 --> 00:17:33,280
(Woman whispering):
I think it's "Shalhoub."

355
00:17:33,281 --> 00:17:34,880
"Your sister just told me he's a Paki.

356
00:17:34,881 --> 00:17:36,670
Shit. Anyway,

357
00:17:36,690 --> 00:17:39,216
after the movie, you turned
to me and said: That's what

358
00:17:39,236 --> 00:17:41,780
I want to do, Daddy.

359
00:17:41,781 --> 00:17:43,413
I want to tell stories.

360
00:17:43,414 --> 00:17:46,880
And I said: You can do anything

361
00:17:46,881 --> 00:17:48,613
you want, son.

362
00:17:48,614 --> 00:17:51,113
And so, you became a writer.

363
00:17:51,567 --> 00:17:52,886
I did that.

364
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:55,063
Anyway, I hope you ditch

365
00:17:55,083 --> 00:17:56,680
that depressed girl.

366
00:17:56,681 --> 00:17:59,013
- (gasps quietly)
- And I hope Fi is wrong about

367
00:17:59,014 --> 00:18:00,580
Tony Shalhoub.

368
00:18:00,581 --> 00:18:02,780
Looking at his last name now,

369
00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:04,947
it does look suspicious.

370
00:18:04,948 --> 00:18:06,980
Shal-houb.

371
00:18:07,451 --> 00:18:08,980
Cheers."

372
00:18:08,981 --> 00:18:11,313
(piano plays upbeat tune)

373
00:18:11,314 --> 00:18:13,314
(quiet murmuring)

374
00:18:15,648 --> 00:18:18,580
Excuse me! Excuse me. We are not done.

375
00:18:18,581 --> 00:18:21,135
First of all, he is a liar!

376
00:18:21,155 --> 00:18:22,813
I begged him to take me to Big Night

377
00:18:22,814 --> 00:18:24,513
so that we could bond, but instead,

378
00:18:24,514 --> 00:18:26,447
he went to D3: The Mighty Ducks,

379
00:18:26,448 --> 00:18:28,147
and I watched Big Night alone.

380
00:18:28,148 --> 00:18:29,814
Then his movie was shorter,

381
00:18:29,834 --> 00:18:32,313
he forgot that I was with him,
so he left without me.

382
00:18:32,314 --> 00:18:36,647
For him to claim that he was
rejected after 18 years

383
00:18:36,648 --> 00:18:40,514
of constant rejection
on his part is crazy!

384
00:18:42,405 --> 00:18:44,213
In fact...

385
00:18:44,214 --> 00:18:46,614
(piano plays dramatic tune)

386
00:18:50,369 --> 00:18:52,947
I've prepared a list of
heckles for the occasion.

387
00:18:52,948 --> 00:18:54,347
Vernon: Sweet.

388
00:18:54,348 --> 00:18:57,480
Uh, "Dad, fortunately,
your death wasn't too much

389
00:18:57,481 --> 00:18:59,547
of a shock, considering
you already look like

390
00:18:59,548 --> 00:19:01,180
someone put a Manchester jersey

391
00:19:01,181 --> 00:19:03,513
on the corpse of a drowned person."

392
00:19:03,514 --> 00:19:05,313
(piano plays dramatic flourish)

393
00:19:05,314 --> 00:19:07,980
"Dad, you always were a lady killer.

394
00:19:07,981 --> 00:19:10,180
You gave all three of my sisters genes

395
00:19:10,181 --> 00:19:12,213
for alcoholism, learning disabilities

396
00:19:12,214 --> 00:19:14,480
and morbid obesity."

397
00:19:14,481 --> 00:19:15,734
- (laughs)
- Ugh.

398
00:19:15,754 --> 00:19:17,863
I mean, we are talking
about a guy who was

399
00:19:17,883 --> 00:19:21,513
so narcissistic that he
wrote his own eulogy!

400
00:19:22,033 --> 00:19:23,380
What's next?!

401
00:19:23,381 --> 00:19:24,549
Are we...?

402
00:19:27,048 --> 00:19:29,713
Freddie, when did my dad
find out he was dying?

403
00:19:29,714 --> 00:19:32,848
He was diagnosed some time last year.

404
00:19:43,448 --> 00:19:46,078
(piano plays upbeat tune)

405
00:19:46,343 --> 00:19:48,959
Ben: Hey, folks, if, uh,
you're gonna Instagram this,

406
00:19:48,979 --> 00:19:52,448
be sure to, uh, hashtag
"BenFoldsSightings,"

407
00:19:52,468 --> 00:19:55,947
"BenFoldslsEverywhere"
and "BenFoldsMovesToLA."

408
00:19:55,948 --> 00:19:59,413
If you do, I'll personally tell
you what Brick is really about.

409
00:19:59,414 --> 00:20:00,580
Abortion.

410
00:20:01,687 --> 00:20:04,550
- No.
- (plays upbeat tune)

411
00:20:09,285 --> 00:20:10,580
Hey, thanks for playing.

412
00:20:10,581 --> 00:20:12,047
You were really great. (door opens)

413
00:20:12,048 --> 00:20:13,913
Ben! Ben! Over here, Ben!

414
00:20:13,914 --> 00:20:15,080
- Over here, Ben!
- Sorry.

415
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:16,847
Not an appropriate venue, bud.

416
00:20:16,848 --> 00:20:19,047
Now, I'll take some pictures
with you outside later.

417
00:20:19,048 --> 00:20:20,328
All right?

418
00:20:20,348 --> 00:20:21,661
Uh...

419
00:20:22,253 --> 00:20:23,607
Wasn't that the same guy

420
00:20:23,627 --> 00:20:25,447
who asked for your autograph
at the ice cream place?

421
00:20:25,448 --> 00:20:29,723
What?! A paparazzi
and an autograph reseller?

422
00:20:30,014 --> 00:20:31,803
Scumbag.

423
00:20:34,058 --> 00:20:36,571
Okay, look, I moved to L.A.
a couple months ago,

424
00:20:36,591 --> 00:20:41,086
and, you know, everyone was so
excited when Moby moved to town.

425
00:20:41,106 --> 00:20:43,025
It was like, "Moby bought that house."

426
00:20:43,045 --> 00:20:45,699
"Oh, and Moby opened that restaurant."

427
00:20:45,719 --> 00:20:48,313
Ben Folds moved to town? Bupkis.

428
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:50,380
That's...

429
00:20:50,887 --> 00:20:53,613
That's incredibly...

430
00:20:53,905 --> 00:20:56,668
clever... of you.

431
00:20:56,688 --> 00:20:58,007
But, hey,

432
00:20:58,027 --> 00:20:59,745
it's my job now.

433
00:20:59,765 --> 00:21:01,982
Well, this was fun. Hey, guys,

434
00:21:02,002 --> 00:21:04,247
want to hit Big Wang's or something?

435
00:21:04,248 --> 00:21:06,843
Get a couple drinks in me,
I might tell you what Brick's about.

436
00:21:06,863 --> 00:21:08,488
Abortion.

437
00:21:08,508 --> 00:21:10,638
Goddamn it. How'd that get out?

438
00:21:14,019 --> 00:21:16,314
♪ ♪

439
00:21:33,448 --> 00:21:36,147
(quietly): Oh, shit.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

440
00:21:36,148 --> 00:21:38,181
I'm sorry.

441
00:21:41,014 --> 00:21:43,013
Jimmy: You know, when we had
that moment in the pub,

442
00:21:43,014 --> 00:21:46,380
I thought to myself, "After 33 years,

443
00:21:46,381 --> 00:21:50,647
I'm finally having a real
moment with my father."

444
00:21:51,453 --> 00:21:52,700
(scoffs)

445
00:21:52,720 --> 00:21:55,013
Can't believe what a fool I was.

446
00:21:55,014 --> 00:21:57,280
There wasn't a shred of
truth in that moment.

447
00:21:57,281 --> 00:21:59,280
You were lying the whole time.

448
00:21:59,281 --> 00:22:02,513
You were dying, you didn't say a word.

449
00:22:02,911 --> 00:22:06,180
All you had to do was say, "Hey, Jimmy,

450
00:22:06,181 --> 00:22:09,448
this might be the last time
I get to see you.

451
00:22:11,595 --> 00:22:14,247
Is there anything you'd like to say?"

452
00:22:14,248 --> 00:22:16,647
And that way...

453
00:22:16,648 --> 00:22:21,547
despite decades of
neglecting, withholding,

454
00:22:21,913 --> 00:22:24,480
general assholery,

455
00:22:24,974 --> 00:22:27,881
I could have had a modicum of closure.

456
00:22:30,048 --> 00:22:31,747
Goddamn you!

457
00:22:31,748 --> 00:22:35,747
I can hear you laughing at
the world "modicum" as I speak.

458
00:22:36,254 --> 00:22:37,945
Well, guess what.

459
00:22:38,985 --> 00:22:41,302
I'm getting my closure right now.

460
00:22:43,360 --> 00:22:46,717
You do not get to affect me anymore!

461
00:22:49,157 --> 00:22:50,664
So long, Dad.

462
00:22:52,233 --> 00:22:53,329
(grunts)

463
00:22:53,349 --> 00:22:55,580
♪ The captain runs his ship ♪

464
00:22:55,581 --> 00:22:57,280
♪ Into the rocks ♪

465
00:22:57,281 --> 00:22:59,680
♪ Well, should we give him ♪

466
00:22:59,681 --> 00:23:04,547
♪ A second chance with birth
and dying based on chance ♪

467
00:23:04,548 --> 00:23:06,847
♪ The first mate tried in vain ♪

468
00:23:06,848 --> 00:23:10,180
♪ To reason with his leader ♪

469
00:23:10,181 --> 00:23:12,447
♪ But he failed to heed the warning ♪

470
00:23:12,467 --> 00:23:16,539
Synced and corrected by johnyd13
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