1 00:00:01,314 --> 00:00:05,003 Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com 2 00:00:05,548 --> 00:00:06,882 How do you get this thing in here? 3 00:00:06,965 --> 00:00:08,884 You just, uh, put it... Let me help you... 4 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:10,052 No, I'm trying to do it. 5 00:00:10,135 --> 00:00:13,972 We can do it together. It's a camera. It's very expensive. 6 00:00:14,056 --> 00:00:16,225 I think I got it. Did it. Okay. 7 00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:19,770 Okay. 8 00:00:19,853 --> 00:00:22,480 And three, two, one. Action. 9 00:00:23,398 --> 00:00:25,192 Hey, guys. It's me, Miranda. 10 00:00:25,275 --> 00:00:29,487 So, I've decided I'm gonna start singing some of the many requests that I get. 11 00:00:29,572 --> 00:00:30,656 So... 12 00:00:31,615 --> 00:00:34,492 I haven't gotten any yet, so I'm just gonna request a song for myself. 13 00:00:34,577 --> 00:00:35,578 So, I'm gonna do... 14 00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:37,913 Oh. 15 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:40,749 Sorry, didn't mean to interrupt. 16 00:00:40,833 --> 00:00:44,962 What are you doing in my house? 17 00:00:45,045 --> 00:00:47,297 Laundry. You have any for me? 18 00:00:48,882 --> 00:00:50,592 - Out. - Okeydokey. 19 00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:58,767 Can I help you? 20 00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:01,269 Got any laundry for me? 21 00:01:02,020 --> 00:01:03,814 That depends. What are you gonna do with it? 22 00:01:03,897 --> 00:01:05,608 You are not welcome here! 23 00:01:05,691 --> 00:01:07,484 So take your little laundry basket and get out! 24 00:01:07,568 --> 00:01:09,027 - Get out! - No trespassing! 25 00:01:09,111 --> 00:01:10,904 Okay, Keith. What's going on? 26 00:01:10,988 --> 00:01:13,240 Mom, I swear if you do not get him out of this house right now... 27 00:01:13,323 --> 00:01:15,951 Yes. Yes, you're right. Yeah, you should go. 28 00:01:16,034 --> 00:01:17,119 But you don't want me to. 29 00:01:17,202 --> 00:01:18,746 Yeah, I don't want him to. 30 00:01:18,829 --> 00:01:20,873 - What? - Oh, no! He's gonna... 31 00:01:20,956 --> 00:01:22,540 He's my friend... 32 00:01:25,753 --> 00:01:27,379 All right, that's enough! 33 00:01:28,964 --> 00:01:30,340 I'm calling a family meeting. 34 00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:33,135 Oh, no, no, no. You can't call a family meeting. 35 00:01:33,218 --> 00:01:34,803 I can call a family meeting. 36 00:01:34,887 --> 00:01:38,223 As a matter of fact, I think it's time we had a family meeting. 37 00:01:38,306 --> 00:01:39,975 So, family meeting time! 38 00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:45,272 Welcome to our first-ever family meeting. 39 00:01:45,856 --> 00:01:48,692 First order of business in the family meeting... 40 00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:50,736 Keith has something to say. 41 00:01:50,819 --> 00:01:52,529 So, the floor is yours. 42 00:01:53,781 --> 00:01:55,157 Let's begin. 43 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,034 I already began it, but go ahead. 44 00:01:57,117 --> 00:01:59,286 Have an announcement to make. 45 00:02:00,370 --> 00:02:01,413 Your mother and I... 46 00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:03,498 - Are just friends. - Oh no, no, no, no, Bethany. 47 00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,669 I can't hide these feelings inside any longer. Listen. 48 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,503 Your mom and I... 49 00:02:08,586 --> 00:02:12,299 have been dating secretly ever since the funeral. 50 00:02:12,382 --> 00:02:13,717 What? 51 00:02:13,801 --> 00:02:16,511 Okay, Miranda, I can explain. We're not really dating. 52 00:02:16,594 --> 00:02:18,013 No, I refuse this. 53 00:02:18,096 --> 00:02:19,848 You are not allowed in this house or in my mother! 54 00:02:19,932 --> 00:02:20,933 I know. 55 00:02:21,016 --> 00:02:23,601 I know this is an uphill battle for me. 56 00:02:23,686 --> 00:02:25,729 And I have hurt you... 57 00:02:25,813 --> 00:02:28,023 and for that I'm so sorry. 58 00:02:28,649 --> 00:02:30,859 Actually, that's why I came here this morning. 59 00:02:30,943 --> 00:02:34,905 Doing the laundry. You know, it's my way of apologizing to you, 60 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:36,782 showing my love to Bethany. 61 00:02:36,865 --> 00:02:38,075 Getting to know Emily. 62 00:02:39,743 --> 00:02:41,411 And what about me? 63 00:02:41,494 --> 00:02:42,955 Won't be doing your laundry. 64 00:02:43,038 --> 00:02:45,165 Well, this is ridiculous! 65 00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,751 You know what, Keith? I don't accept your apology. 66 00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:48,836 - How about that? - Good. 67 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:52,172 You know, Miranda, I really think you're gonna grow to like me. 68 00:02:53,090 --> 00:02:54,216 If you just give me a chance. 69 00:02:56,093 --> 00:02:57,552 Give you a chance? 70 00:02:57,635 --> 00:02:58,804 Yeah. 71 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:02,265 First of all, you kicked me out of the choir, 72 00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:05,102 then you manipulate with my mother. 73 00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:07,062 After that, you barge in my room 74 00:03:07,145 --> 00:03:09,606 and you interrupt my private video time with my uncle. 75 00:03:09,689 --> 00:03:13,610 And to top it all off, you tried to steal my perfectly good, dirty clothes. 76 00:03:14,862 --> 00:03:18,031 Like the Lord said to Noah after he built the ark... 77 00:03:18,115 --> 00:03:20,033 "You're gonna regret this." 78 00:03:20,117 --> 00:03:21,409 Ooh, Bible burn. 79 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:22,870 In your face. 80 00:03:24,621 --> 00:03:26,498 But you know what? 81 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:28,333 I've been thinking about that whole choir thing, 82 00:03:28,416 --> 00:03:30,460 and I wanna make it up to you 83 00:03:30,543 --> 00:03:33,713 by helping you with your singing career, if you'll let me. 84 00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:36,133 Oh no, no, no, no, no. We are not interested. 85 00:03:36,216 --> 00:03:38,676 Ever thought about performing live? 86 00:03:39,677 --> 00:03:43,223 Well, how about the Thea Foss Theatre? 87 00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:45,142 That place is impossible to book. 88 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,434 I've tried. 89 00:03:46,518 --> 00:03:47,560 I know a guy. 90 00:03:48,395 --> 00:03:49,980 We don't need your help, okay? 91 00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:55,652 I'm already, uh, trying to get Miranda several other very important gigs. 92 00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:56,779 Hmm. 93 00:03:56,862 --> 00:03:59,990 - The Thea Foss Theatre. - And I can call him... 94 00:04:00,615 --> 00:04:01,575 right now. 95 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:02,659 No! 96 00:04:02,743 --> 00:04:04,870 Miranda, you don't need that, 97 00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:08,665 because I've already gotten you a... a gig that's better. 98 00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,043 Really? Where? 99 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:14,171 Uh... where? Uh... 100 00:04:15,588 --> 00:04:17,424 Uh... 101 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,636 At a very reputable theater... 102 00:04:22,345 --> 00:04:23,764 in the Big Attle. 103 00:04:23,847 --> 00:04:26,141 - The Big Apple? - New York? 104 00:04:27,059 --> 00:04:28,769 The Big Attle. Seattle? 105 00:04:28,852 --> 00:04:29,978 Seattle? 106 00:04:30,062 --> 00:04:32,856 Wow, this is gonna be amazing for my career. 107 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,316 Why didn't you tell me about it sooner? 108 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:36,443 Well, I, uh... 109 00:04:36,526 --> 00:04:38,028 I wanted it to be a surprise. 110 00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:39,863 Oh, a surprise? 111 00:04:39,947 --> 00:04:42,032 I love it. Do you have any more surprises? 112 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,242 Yes. I have, uh, 113 00:04:44,326 --> 00:04:47,579 - way more surprises. - Oh, like what? 114 00:04:47,662 --> 00:04:50,623 Uh... like a tour bus. 115 00:04:51,624 --> 00:04:52,918 What else? 116 00:04:53,001 --> 00:04:55,838 - Uh, else? Uh, a... a roadie. - What else? 117 00:04:55,921 --> 00:04:59,842 - Uh, jeez. Snacks. - Ooh, snacks! 118 00:04:59,925 --> 00:05:01,551 - I love snacks! - Okay. 119 00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:03,428 - She loves snacks. - This is so exciting. 120 00:05:03,511 --> 00:05:04,637 I win. 121 00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,640 This will be fun. 122 00:05:16,358 --> 00:05:20,612 Operator, get me your most reputable theater in Seattle. 123 00:05:20,695 --> 00:05:22,280 Yes, I'll hold. 124 00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,200 I got that paint you asked for. 125 00:05:25,283 --> 00:05:28,495 Perfect. Um, Patrick, I have a business opportunity, 126 00:05:28,578 --> 00:05:30,372 which I think you'd be perfect for. 127 00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:34,542 Okay. Uh, well, I'm about to get really busy with the ice cream bike. 128 00:05:34,626 --> 00:05:36,044 I think once this fog lets up, 129 00:05:36,128 --> 00:05:37,462 I'll see a big influx in the sales... 130 00:05:37,545 --> 00:05:38,922 Forget all that. 131 00:05:39,006 --> 00:05:40,507 Close the door. Yes. 132 00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,010 Okay. 133 00:05:43,093 --> 00:05:45,053 Now, Patrick, what I am about to tell you 134 00:05:45,137 --> 00:05:46,889 is for your eyes only. 135 00:05:46,972 --> 00:05:50,475 Miranda is about to start her world tour. 136 00:05:50,558 --> 00:05:53,896 - Really? - Mmm-hmm. A huge gig in, uh, Seattle. 137 00:05:54,771 --> 00:05:57,065 - The Big Attle. - Yep. 138 00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:59,151 And she needs a roadie. 139 00:05:59,234 --> 00:06:00,235 I'll do it. 140 00:06:00,318 --> 00:06:03,238 I gotta warn you. It's, uh, long hours and no pay. 141 00:06:03,321 --> 00:06:04,489 It's fine, fine, fine. 142 00:06:04,572 --> 00:06:07,409 You'll be crammed into a small dressing room with Miranda, 143 00:06:07,492 --> 00:06:09,036 and you'll have to do whatever she says. 144 00:06:09,119 --> 00:06:10,412 Yes! I mean, you don't... 145 00:06:10,495 --> 00:06:13,706 You don't need to talk me into it anymore, because... 146 00:06:13,790 --> 00:06:16,043 I'm your roadie. 147 00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:20,130 Okay, we can start by taking this paint and decorating the tour bus. 148 00:06:20,213 --> 00:06:22,132 It's the one parked in the driveway. 149 00:06:22,215 --> 00:06:25,093 - I'm thinking of something tasteful... - Uh, say no more. 150 00:06:25,177 --> 00:06:27,429 I've sketched this out a dozen times already. 151 00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:33,018 Oh! Uh, hello. 152 00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:37,397 My name is Jim, Uncle Jim. And I have an act so sensational, 153 00:06:37,480 --> 00:06:40,317 you'll wanna book it immediately. It's my... 154 00:06:40,400 --> 00:06:42,902 Just let me finish. Let me finish. 155 00:06:42,986 --> 00:06:44,737 It's my niece, Miranda. 156 00:06:44,821 --> 00:06:46,531 She's been on YouTube... 157 00:06:48,700 --> 00:06:50,160 Hello? 158 00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,328 Hello? 159 00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,874 So, things going well with Keith? 160 00:06:56,959 --> 00:07:00,337 Oh, they are going fantastic. 161 00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,255 He is such a great guy. 162 00:07:02,339 --> 00:07:04,382 Do you know he does hospice ministry? 163 00:07:04,466 --> 00:07:07,927 Can you imagine being around all that pain 164 00:07:08,011 --> 00:07:10,430 all day and all night? 165 00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,807 Yeah, I have a general idea. 166 00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,103 Ouch. 167 00:07:16,186 --> 00:07:17,562 Ow... 168 00:07:18,771 --> 00:07:20,857 Oh, let me get that for you, 169 00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,318 - my little cherubim. - Aw. 170 00:07:26,196 --> 00:07:27,739 If you ever... 171 00:07:27,822 --> 00:07:29,992 need me to get that down for you... 172 00:07:30,075 --> 00:07:31,201 just let me know. 173 00:07:31,284 --> 00:07:32,285 Okay. 174 00:07:32,369 --> 00:07:34,496 - Like, if I'm making a big beef stew... - Mmm-hmm. 175 00:07:34,579 --> 00:07:36,289 - ...I'll know who to call. - You do. 176 00:07:36,373 --> 00:07:37,624 I do. 177 00:07:39,626 --> 00:07:40,793 Uh, Mom? 178 00:07:40,877 --> 00:07:42,545 - Huh? - Might wanna tone it down 179 00:07:42,629 --> 00:07:44,672 on the fake carpal tunnel with this guy. 180 00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:48,051 I don't know what you're talking about. 181 00:07:48,969 --> 00:07:51,346 Okay, he seems like a really nice guy, 182 00:07:51,429 --> 00:07:54,932 and you have him doing all these chores just because he thinks you're sick. 183 00:07:55,017 --> 00:07:56,684 You can't take advantage of someone like that. 184 00:07:57,477 --> 00:07:58,603 What? 185 00:07:58,686 --> 00:08:00,480 No, I am not. 186 00:08:00,563 --> 00:08:03,233 I mean, he... he just likes taking care of me. 187 00:08:03,316 --> 00:08:04,651 Hope you don't mind, 188 00:08:04,734 --> 00:08:06,944 but I threw in a few of my things in the wash. 189 00:08:09,072 --> 00:08:10,198 Well... 190 00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:13,243 there goes the last of my childhood innocence. 191 00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,494 What? 192 00:08:20,583 --> 00:08:22,460 Well, this is interesting. 193 00:08:22,544 --> 00:08:23,961 That's my chair. 194 00:08:24,046 --> 00:08:25,422 Oh, it is? 195 00:08:25,505 --> 00:08:26,714 Yes, it is. 196 00:08:26,798 --> 00:08:27,965 Then why aren't you using it? 197 00:08:28,050 --> 00:08:29,842 Because you are sitting in it. 198 00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:31,011 Exactly. 199 00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:33,930 I don't like your attitude. 200 00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:36,016 Bethany! 201 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:38,560 - What? - I don't have any clean underwear. 202 00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,313 - Really? - Yep. Is it in the wash or where is it? 203 00:08:41,396 --> 00:08:44,732 Well, I'm sorry, but the machine has been in use all day. 204 00:08:44,816 --> 00:08:47,819 Great, Bethany. I am supposed to go on a big road trip. 205 00:08:47,902 --> 00:08:50,988 I have my manager outfit all picked out, 206 00:08:51,073 --> 00:08:52,574 and I don't have any clean panties. 207 00:08:52,657 --> 00:08:56,828 So, I guess we're gonna have to cancel the gig that I definitely booked. 208 00:08:57,745 --> 00:08:59,164 The trip is canceled. 209 00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:00,582 Well, I can take her. 210 00:09:00,665 --> 00:09:03,085 I've got plenty of fresh underwear. 211 00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:04,419 Oh, yeah? 212 00:09:34,241 --> 00:09:36,409 Trip uncanceled. 213 00:09:38,536 --> 00:09:39,829 Miranda, we're going! 214 00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:45,877 Okay, everybody. 215 00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:47,920 In... 216 00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:50,132 Three, two... 217 00:09:50,215 --> 00:09:51,258 one. 218 00:09:51,341 --> 00:09:52,884 Blast off! 219 00:09:57,389 --> 00:09:58,806 Oh... 220 00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,057 That's perfect. 221 00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:02,352 It's pretty good. 222 00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:04,937 - Yeah. - I probably could've done better. 223 00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:06,356 So, you decorated my van. 224 00:10:07,023 --> 00:10:08,941 Is that permanent paint? 225 00:10:09,942 --> 00:10:11,403 What do you care, Mom? 226 00:10:11,486 --> 00:10:15,282 I'm going on tour and you're never gonna see me or the van again. 227 00:10:15,365 --> 00:10:17,159 So have fun with your little choir-kicker-outer, Keith. 228 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:19,536 - We're leaving now. - Uh, Miranda, 229 00:10:19,619 --> 00:10:21,621 we don't have to leave for another, uh, 230 00:10:21,704 --> 00:10:23,665 two, three, four hours or so. So... 231 00:10:23,748 --> 00:10:26,251 No. No, we have to leave now. I have to do sound check, 232 00:10:26,334 --> 00:10:29,837 a dress rehearsal, costume fittings, makeup, all these kinds of things. 233 00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:33,175 Well, we can't leave. We have that whole list of props we need to get. 234 00:10:33,258 --> 00:10:34,676 Oh, I already got 'em. 235 00:10:34,759 --> 00:10:37,512 What? How? You got the entire list? 236 00:10:37,595 --> 00:10:40,973 The bubble machine? The Princess Diana Beanie Baby? 237 00:10:41,057 --> 00:10:43,143 Yep, with the tag protector still on. 238 00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:44,561 Oh. Good work. 239 00:10:44,644 --> 00:10:46,688 Okay, well, um... 240 00:10:46,771 --> 00:10:49,232 I guess there's no reason... 241 00:10:49,316 --> 00:10:52,985 for us to stay here and not go. 242 00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:54,196 So... 243 00:10:55,155 --> 00:10:56,406 we'll go. 244 00:10:56,489 --> 00:10:58,199 So, goodbye, Mom! 245 00:10:58,283 --> 00:10:59,659 I won't even miss you. 246 00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:02,036 - Oh, now, Miranda... What? - No, no, no, no. Wait. 247 00:11:02,119 --> 00:11:03,580 Let 'em go have their fun. 248 00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:05,332 She'll be back. 249 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,681 Well, now how am I supposed to get to work? 250 00:11:24,100 --> 00:11:25,810 How big is the theater? 251 00:11:25,893 --> 00:11:28,271 Uh, big. Uh, yeah, yeah, it's, uh, gigantic. 252 00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:31,358 But if it seems small, it's 'cause it's... it's intimate, you know. 253 00:11:31,441 --> 00:11:32,984 So it may seem small to you, so... 254 00:11:33,067 --> 00:11:36,112 It's one of those theaters that can go any way, really, you know. 255 00:11:36,195 --> 00:11:38,490 - What's it called? - Um, uh, let's... 256 00:11:38,573 --> 00:11:40,450 That'll be a surprise. That'll be a surprise. 257 00:11:40,533 --> 00:11:41,743 How much am I getting paid? 258 00:11:41,826 --> 00:11:45,247 Miranda, Miranda, okay, just... No more questions. 259 00:11:45,330 --> 00:11:47,624 You haven't even written a rider yet. 260 00:11:47,707 --> 00:11:50,335 - What the heck is that? - It's a list of demands 261 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:52,712 that all celebrities have. It shows people how, uh, 262 00:11:52,795 --> 00:11:54,922 special and unreasonable you can be. 263 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:56,549 Mmm, all right. 264 00:11:56,633 --> 00:11:57,884 Roadie, paper. 265 00:11:57,967 --> 00:11:59,886 It'll take a while to write it. 266 00:11:59,969 --> 00:12:01,763 Thank you very much. 267 00:12:01,846 --> 00:12:03,055 Okay. 268 00:12:03,139 --> 00:12:04,891 Oh, there's a gas station over there. 269 00:12:04,974 --> 00:12:07,435 We should, uh, pull over and stop a while and get gas. 270 00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:10,938 Uh-huh. Well, I'm noticing that Miranda's really in a hurry to get to her show, 271 00:12:11,022 --> 00:12:12,774 and it looks like we have enough gas. 272 00:12:12,857 --> 00:12:16,152 Uh, Patrick, have you ever driven a tour bus before? 273 00:12:17,069 --> 00:12:18,738 Uh, no. 274 00:12:18,821 --> 00:12:20,740 Then I would appreciate it if you didn't give advice 275 00:12:20,823 --> 00:12:22,325 about things that you know nothing about. 276 00:12:22,409 --> 00:12:25,077 This is a lot more complicated than an ice cream bike. 277 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:26,829 How do you spell "salami"? 278 00:12:26,913 --> 00:12:30,417 S-A-L-A-M-N-I. 279 00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,584 Salami. 280 00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:32,794 Got it. 281 00:12:43,971 --> 00:12:45,515 Fill her up, Patrick! 282 00:12:53,398 --> 00:12:54,441 Hello? 283 00:12:54,524 --> 00:12:56,651 Hello! Oh, thank God you finally picked up. 284 00:12:56,734 --> 00:12:59,236 Listen, I have a fantastic act 285 00:12:59,321 --> 00:13:01,614 featuring a well-known YouTube sensation, 286 00:13:01,698 --> 00:13:03,825 and I need a gig tonight for... 287 00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,160 Uh, at a reputable theater, please. 288 00:13:06,243 --> 00:13:09,372 Is this the guy that keeps leaving all those weird messages? 289 00:13:09,456 --> 00:13:12,249 Listen, I think you're confused. This is a bookstore. 290 00:13:12,334 --> 00:13:13,876 This isn't Broadway Booking? 291 00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:17,922 Uh, this is Broadway Book, Inc. Like, "incorporated." 292 00:13:18,005 --> 00:13:19,341 Incorporated? 293 00:13:19,424 --> 00:13:20,717 Are you okay, man? 294 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:23,970 It sounded like you were crying in your last message. 295 00:13:24,887 --> 00:13:27,724 Okay, can she just... Can she just sing at your bookstore, 296 00:13:27,807 --> 00:13:30,101 like, while people are buying books? Is that... 297 00:13:30,184 --> 00:13:32,812 is that something that we can do? We could work out between us... 298 00:13:33,730 --> 00:13:35,565 Um... I don't think... 299 00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:38,610 Oh... You tell that tech guy 300 00:13:38,693 --> 00:13:41,070 that if he can't handle those lighting cues that I sent over, 301 00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:44,073 well, then he should find himself another job. 302 00:13:44,156 --> 00:13:46,951 You tell him that. Yep. 303 00:13:47,869 --> 00:13:51,288 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry I yelled at you, sir. 304 00:13:51,373 --> 00:13:52,915 Can she just sing? 305 00:13:53,833 --> 00:13:54,876 I'm sorry. 306 00:13:54,959 --> 00:13:57,336 I respect that answer. 307 00:14:04,886 --> 00:14:06,220 You see that? 308 00:14:11,518 --> 00:14:13,728 This is my foot. Does it look like this? 309 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:22,570 See this resemblance there? 310 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:42,507 What're you doing? 311 00:14:44,717 --> 00:14:48,095 Uh, I'm just testing the tires 312 00:14:48,179 --> 00:14:52,224 in case we run over any knives on the road. 313 00:14:52,308 --> 00:14:54,060 You never can be too careful, you know. 314 00:14:58,690 --> 00:15:01,776 Welcome, everyone, to my show. 315 00:15:01,859 --> 00:15:04,696 - My name is Miranda Jo... - You know what might... 316 00:15:04,779 --> 00:15:09,534 Sorry, I was thinking, you should probably come up with, uh, a stage name. 317 00:15:09,617 --> 00:15:11,703 For protection reasons. 318 00:15:11,786 --> 00:15:13,079 Oh yeah, he... he's right. 319 00:15:13,162 --> 00:15:15,331 You should take your time and come up with a stage name, you know. 320 00:15:15,415 --> 00:15:19,251 - Uh, everyone in the business uses one. - Yeah, I didn't even think about that. 321 00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:22,254 I don't wanna get a stalker coming to my house. 322 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,006 All right, let me think. 323 00:15:24,090 --> 00:15:26,300 Miranda... Car. 324 00:15:26,383 --> 00:15:27,469 No. 325 00:15:27,552 --> 00:15:29,596 Miranda... Shirt. 326 00:15:29,679 --> 00:15:31,138 - No. - Miranda Shirt. No. 327 00:15:31,222 --> 00:15:33,099 Miranda... Person. 328 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:34,601 Miranda Person. No. 329 00:15:34,684 --> 00:15:37,103 Miranda Store. 330 00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:38,855 Miranda Store. 331 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,314 No. Miranda... 332 00:15:40,397 --> 00:15:42,358 Okay, just stop it. Stop it, okay? 333 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,318 There's an age-old system for this. 334 00:15:44,401 --> 00:15:47,614 You simply take the name of the first street you lived on, 335 00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:51,868 plus the name of your first pet, and that gives you your stage name, okay? 336 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:54,496 Just stop with those ridiculous names. 337 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:55,997 Okay, okay. 338 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,040 So that would be... 339 00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:01,085 - Forty-seventh Street Scabs. - See, perfect. 340 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,463 Forty-seventh Street Scabs it is. 341 00:16:03,546 --> 00:16:05,548 What a wonderful stage name. 342 00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,468 Um... can I still call you Miranda? 343 00:16:08,551 --> 00:16:10,052 Yeah, I like my old name better. 344 00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:13,389 What... what about Miranda Mooney? 345 00:16:13,473 --> 00:16:16,601 Mooney? Patrick, that's your last name! 346 00:16:16,684 --> 00:16:18,352 That's stupid. 347 00:16:18,435 --> 00:16:20,146 It was a stupid idea. 348 00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:21,313 I don't know. 349 00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:24,400 What about Sings? 350 00:16:24,484 --> 00:16:26,528 That way everyone'll know what my talent is. 351 00:16:26,611 --> 00:16:30,156 So, Forty-seventh Street Scabs Sings it is then. 352 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,950 We'll just have to check, make sure no one else has that name. 353 00:16:33,034 --> 00:16:35,036 No, no. Miranda Sings. 354 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:36,788 Just plain Miranda Sings. 355 00:16:36,871 --> 00:16:38,414 I think it's beautiful. 356 00:16:41,458 --> 00:16:43,628 Miranda Sings. 357 00:16:48,966 --> 00:16:52,219 Normally, I give the Lord all the praise for a meal, 358 00:16:52,303 --> 00:16:55,347 but what you have done with this casserole... 359 00:16:55,431 --> 00:16:57,809 is nothing short of a culinary miracle. 360 00:16:59,226 --> 00:17:01,646 - Really? - Oh, absolutely. 361 00:17:03,856 --> 00:17:07,860 Well, I recommend putting ketchup on it, if you like. Ow. 362 00:17:07,944 --> 00:17:09,361 Oh, oh. Allow me. Allow me. 363 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:21,749 Your mother tells me you like to paint. 364 00:17:22,667 --> 00:17:23,668 Mom said that? 365 00:17:25,044 --> 00:17:26,462 Who's your favorite artist? 366 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,216 It's not a trick question. 367 00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:34,971 Sorry. No. I just... I'm not used to being the topic of conversation at the table. 368 00:17:35,054 --> 00:17:36,472 Mmm. 369 00:17:36,556 --> 00:17:39,559 Well, I think it's time for a lot of things to change around here. 370 00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:41,978 Um... 371 00:17:42,061 --> 00:17:44,564 well then, maybe Frida Kahlo. 372 00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:46,899 Kahlo. Uh, let's see. 373 00:17:46,983 --> 00:17:49,819 She painted The Wounded Deer. 374 00:17:51,278 --> 00:17:52,529 Yeah. Wow. 375 00:17:52,614 --> 00:17:54,240 She did. 376 00:17:54,323 --> 00:17:55,825 One of my favorites. 377 00:18:06,836 --> 00:18:08,170 Are we there yet? 378 00:18:08,254 --> 00:18:09,421 Not much longer. 379 00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:14,427 Hey, Patrick, keep an eye out for any theaters because, uh... 380 00:18:14,510 --> 00:18:16,679 one of them might work. 381 00:18:16,763 --> 00:18:18,931 Because it will be the one 382 00:18:19,015 --> 00:18:22,518 that I booked, uh, prior, earlier. 383 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,895 Roger that. 384 00:18:26,689 --> 00:18:29,525 Oh, no! You two keep quiet. 385 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:31,443 It's the feds. Let me handle this. 386 00:18:31,527 --> 00:18:32,945 Uncle Jim, we don't have time for this. 387 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:35,072 Just tell them I'm a celebrity and they'll let us go. 388 00:18:35,156 --> 00:18:36,908 I'll do all the talking. 389 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:39,368 Okay, Uncle Jim, you just need to stay calm and don't freak out! 390 00:18:39,452 --> 00:18:41,495 - I am calm. How do I look? - Try and keep calm. 391 00:18:41,578 --> 00:18:42,622 - You look stressed! - He's here! 392 00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,040 He's here! He's here. 393 00:18:47,293 --> 00:18:50,379 Good evening to you, my good sir. 394 00:18:50,462 --> 00:18:53,215 - License and registration. - Yes, of course. 395 00:18:53,299 --> 00:18:54,717 Oh. 396 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:57,386 It should be one of those things. 397 00:18:58,470 --> 00:19:00,347 You have any idea why I pulled you over tonight? 398 00:19:00,431 --> 00:19:01,557 No, no idea. 399 00:19:01,641 --> 00:19:03,434 In your best estimate, 400 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:05,436 how long do you think this will take? Like... 401 00:19:05,519 --> 00:19:09,231 are we looking at jail time, possibly, maybe, hopefully? 402 00:19:09,315 --> 00:19:10,692 No. 403 00:19:10,775 --> 00:19:12,276 But we will need to impound your vehicle. 404 00:19:12,359 --> 00:19:13,903 I can't have you driving this thing around 405 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:16,530 with the windows and signal lights covered over. 406 00:19:16,613 --> 00:19:18,700 No. No, you can't do that. You can't do that! 407 00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,785 I have a show to get to. I'm a performer. 408 00:19:20,868 --> 00:19:22,161 Miranda, please! 409 00:19:22,244 --> 00:19:25,039 Let me handle this. Here are the keys, 410 00:19:25,122 --> 00:19:28,250 and be careful backing this thing up because you cannot see a thing. 411 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,294 - Uncle Jim! - It's true. 412 00:19:30,377 --> 00:19:31,879 I can't see anything. It's a death trap. 413 00:19:31,963 --> 00:19:34,882 You can pick it up tonight, once you pay the fine and make it street legal. 414 00:19:34,966 --> 00:19:36,050 Okay, thank you. 415 00:19:36,133 --> 00:19:38,052 And take your time. 416 00:19:38,761 --> 00:19:41,180 Oh! Yes, good sir, thank you. 417 00:19:43,766 --> 00:19:45,768 Well, that went well. 418 00:19:45,852 --> 00:19:47,770 That went very well. 419 00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:55,778 How can they do this? 420 00:19:55,862 --> 00:19:58,239 My first world tour and it's ruined. 421 00:19:59,406 --> 00:20:00,532 What are you doing? 422 00:20:01,492 --> 00:20:03,953 Calling Bethany to help us get home. 423 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,706 - What? No! - Wait, we can still make it. 424 00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:09,208 We can, uh, hop in a cab or a bus. 425 00:20:09,291 --> 00:20:10,667 Oh, yeah. Yeah, let's do that. 426 00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:12,378 No. No, we can't do that. 427 00:20:12,461 --> 00:20:14,005 We have to go. Bethany has to take... 428 00:20:14,088 --> 00:20:16,007 Uncle Jim, come on. We're gonna be late. Let's go. 429 00:20:16,090 --> 00:20:18,550 Uh, no, no, no, no, no. Miranda... 430 00:20:18,634 --> 00:20:21,095 Okay, here's the thing. 431 00:20:21,178 --> 00:20:26,142 I am so sorry, but we don't actually have a... 432 00:20:30,730 --> 00:20:33,190 long walk! Because we're here already. 433 00:20:39,864 --> 00:20:43,576 Her artistic style transformed over the course of her life. 434 00:20:43,659 --> 00:20:47,121 During her darkest days, she experimented with brush-loading techniques 435 00:20:47,204 --> 00:20:48,956 to add texture to the canvas. 436 00:20:49,874 --> 00:20:51,751 In her late twenties, diagnosed with... 437 00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,627 How's your neck doing? 438 00:20:53,710 --> 00:20:56,881 Oh, well, it's a little lonely. 439 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:59,759 Because I noticed you haven't been wearing your brace. 440 00:20:59,842 --> 00:21:02,428 You probably shouldn't strain yourself, right? 441 00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:05,306 Well, I... I haven't been feeling any pain there. 442 00:21:05,389 --> 00:21:07,349 Mmm. Feel harder? 443 00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:10,186 Wouldn't it be a little better with a little support? 444 00:21:11,228 --> 00:21:12,646 Yeah, I guess. 445 00:21:12,729 --> 00:21:13,981 Perfect. 446 00:21:14,065 --> 00:21:15,107 I'll get it for you. 447 00:21:15,191 --> 00:21:16,692 Okay, thanks. 448 00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:22,031 Mom. 449 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:24,700 I know, he's great. 450 00:21:24,784 --> 00:21:27,286 Yeah. I mean, I'm just... I'm just, like, surprised. 451 00:21:27,369 --> 00:21:28,996 This is really, really fun. 452 00:21:29,080 --> 00:21:30,081 Yeah. 453 00:21:30,998 --> 00:21:33,876 Oh, shoot. You know, I put the neck thing in the bottom drawer, 454 00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:35,711 so he's gonna have a hard time finding it. 455 00:21:35,795 --> 00:21:37,839 No, oh, uh, I'll show him. I'll show him. 456 00:21:37,922 --> 00:21:39,924 - Thank you. - Yep. 457 00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:51,727 Um... 458 00:21:52,478 --> 00:21:54,438 did you just sniff Mom's neck brace? 459 00:21:55,314 --> 00:21:56,315 No. 460 00:21:57,233 --> 00:21:58,860 I just saw you. 461 00:21:59,944 --> 00:22:01,612 You don't know what you saw. 462 00:22:03,697 --> 00:22:04,949 Okeydokey. 463 00:22:10,287 --> 00:22:11,580 Oh... 464 00:22:21,548 --> 00:22:25,344 Excuse me. Could you tell me where I can find the manager, please? 465 00:22:27,138 --> 00:22:29,681 If we put the doors back on the bathroom stalls, 466 00:22:29,765 --> 00:22:30,807 just put those back on... 467 00:22:32,977 --> 00:22:35,687 There you are! Oh, well. 468 00:22:35,771 --> 00:22:37,689 You look exactly like I thought you'd look 469 00:22:37,773 --> 00:22:40,151 based on all the conversations that we've been having 470 00:22:40,234 --> 00:22:41,944 on the phone lately. 471 00:22:42,028 --> 00:22:45,990 I'm... I'm sorry. Can I... Is there... Uh, how can I help you? 472 00:22:46,073 --> 00:22:49,994 Yes, I am here with YouTube sensation Miranda Sings, 473 00:22:50,077 --> 00:22:53,164 and we are going to win that... 474 00:22:53,247 --> 00:22:55,624 hundred bucks tonight. 475 00:22:55,707 --> 00:22:58,961 Oh, okay. Well, good luck. 476 00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:01,713 Oh, what's this? 477 00:23:01,797 --> 00:23:04,800 - My demands. - That's her rider. Deal with it. 478 00:23:06,177 --> 00:23:08,762 "A dozen Slurpees, a Chia Pet, 479 00:23:08,845 --> 00:23:11,598 M&Ms with my face on them, 480 00:23:11,682 --> 00:23:13,935 and lots of meats." 481 00:23:14,018 --> 00:23:18,814 Okay, I feel you on that last one, but, girl, you're crazy. 482 00:23:18,897 --> 00:23:20,524 Okay, sir, I don't believe... 483 00:23:20,607 --> 00:23:22,151 Uh, excuse me? 484 00:23:22,234 --> 00:23:24,736 I did not beat my face for three hours 485 00:23:24,820 --> 00:23:29,366 and snatch my body to perfection to be called "sir." 486 00:23:29,450 --> 00:23:31,535 I am a lady, you crazy cu... 487 00:23:31,618 --> 00:23:33,537 Contestants perform up there? 488 00:23:33,620 --> 00:23:36,790 Yeah, see that? I told you we'd hit the big time. 489 00:23:36,873 --> 00:23:38,042 Okay, we need to hurry this up. 490 00:23:38,125 --> 00:23:40,669 I think that manish lady-person wants to kill me. 491 00:23:40,752 --> 00:23:42,338 What's the plan? 492 00:23:42,421 --> 00:23:45,382 Uh... well, you're performing up there on this glass stage, 493 00:23:45,466 --> 00:23:47,384 and I think... and I think people... 494 00:23:48,510 --> 00:23:50,054 I think people are gonna see up your skirt. 495 00:23:50,137 --> 00:23:51,805 Patrick! 496 00:23:51,888 --> 00:23:53,932 I'm worried about protecting your honor. 497 00:23:54,016 --> 00:23:57,144 Who cares about my honor? Everyone's gonna see my tookie! 498 00:23:57,228 --> 00:23:58,937 Okay, everyone remain calm. 499 00:23:59,021 --> 00:24:00,564 We will think of something. 500 00:24:02,899 --> 00:24:04,068 Stay right there, all right? No peeking now. 501 00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:05,236 - No peeking. - All right. Okay, okay. 502 00:24:05,319 --> 00:24:06,362 - I'm not peeking. - Almost done. 503 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:08,739 Okay. 504 00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:10,491 Okay, you ready? 505 00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:12,784 - Mmm-hmm. - And now! 506 00:24:14,953 --> 00:24:17,373 It's for you to get around. 507 00:24:17,456 --> 00:24:20,459 - Oh. - But her legs work fine. 508 00:24:20,542 --> 00:24:22,086 - Oh, come here. Have a seat. - Okay. 509 00:24:22,169 --> 00:24:25,297 Have a seat. I think we should let Bethany decide if her legs work or not. 510 00:24:25,381 --> 00:24:26,382 Because they don't. 511 00:24:26,465 --> 00:24:28,384 Hey, Mom, are you hearing this? 512 00:24:29,093 --> 00:24:31,720 Well, honey, you know, sometimes my legs get very tired 513 00:24:31,803 --> 00:24:34,056 when I'm standing for, like, a long time. 514 00:24:35,224 --> 00:24:39,311 Yeah, so why don't you... ride that nice and slow for me? 515 00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:40,687 Mmm-hmm. Oh! 516 00:24:40,771 --> 00:24:41,980 - Oh, oh! Whoa. - Hey, hey, hey. 517 00:24:42,064 --> 00:24:44,233 Easy, easy, cobra. Hit it, hit it. 518 00:24:44,316 --> 00:24:46,068 Oh, oh. Gosh, it's got a sharp turn on it, huh? 519 00:24:46,152 --> 00:24:48,112 Uh-huh, take your time. Whoa, easy. Oh. 520 00:24:48,195 --> 00:24:50,614 Don't hurt nothing. All right. 521 00:24:50,697 --> 00:24:52,991 - Look at you in that. Mmm-hmm. - Okay. 522 00:24:53,075 --> 00:24:55,619 - Think I got it. - Ooh. Yeah, uh-huh. 523 00:24:55,702 --> 00:24:56,995 Don't worry, Miranda. 524 00:24:57,079 --> 00:24:58,747 No one is gonna see your tookie. 525 00:24:58,830 --> 00:25:02,418 This is my gift to you. 526 00:25:02,501 --> 00:25:05,337 - Okay. But what about you? - Don't worry about me. 527 00:25:05,421 --> 00:25:07,964 Wait, Uncle Jim, I can see your entire naked legs. 528 00:25:08,049 --> 00:25:10,509 You're being completely porn. You need to go hide right now. 529 00:25:10,592 --> 00:25:11,677 Okay. 530 00:25:12,386 --> 00:25:13,970 Hey... 531 00:25:14,055 --> 00:25:15,889 these are really comfortable. 532 00:25:15,972 --> 00:25:18,392 They fit me so well in all the places. 533 00:25:22,479 --> 00:25:23,564 Uncle Jim's phone. 534 00:25:23,647 --> 00:25:25,149 Miranda, I need your help. 535 00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:27,276 Of course you do. 536 00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,445 - I knew this day would come. - Okay, okay. But listen. 537 00:25:29,528 --> 00:25:31,447 We need to get rid of Keith, and you're the best person I know 538 00:25:31,530 --> 00:25:32,989 at getting rid of people. So I need you to come home... 539 00:25:33,074 --> 00:25:34,908 You know what? I warned you, Emily. 540 00:25:34,991 --> 00:25:37,744 But listen. He's worse than we thought, and he's really 541 00:25:37,828 --> 00:25:40,706 encouraging Mom's fake illnesses, and I think he has a fetish for sick people. 542 00:25:40,789 --> 00:25:43,209 Okay, well, you brought this on yourself. 543 00:25:43,292 --> 00:25:46,128 Oh, and by the way, tell Mom that I'm having a great time without her 544 00:25:46,212 --> 00:25:48,547 and I don't miss her at all. 545 00:25:48,630 --> 00:25:50,048 Here's Patrick. 546 00:25:50,132 --> 00:25:51,633 What? Patrick? Hello? 547 00:25:51,717 --> 00:25:53,427 Oh, Emily. Thank goodness you called. 548 00:25:53,510 --> 00:25:54,761 What's wrong? 549 00:25:54,845 --> 00:25:57,348 The car got impounded, Miranda's in a fight with a big, beautiful lady, 550 00:25:57,431 --> 00:25:59,391 and we need you to come pick us up and, uh, 551 00:25:59,475 --> 00:26:00,892 can you bring some pants for Uncle Jim? 552 00:26:00,976 --> 00:26:02,811 Because he's not wearing any. 553 00:26:03,729 --> 00:26:05,314 Interesting. Where are you? 554 00:26:10,569 --> 00:26:13,947 All right. Our last act of the night is... 555 00:26:14,030 --> 00:26:15,073 special. 556 00:26:15,157 --> 00:26:19,245 So, please give a warm welcome to Miranda Sings. 557 00:26:26,877 --> 00:26:30,672 ♪ Come on, babe Why don't we paint the town ♪ 558 00:26:32,883 --> 00:26:34,260 ♪ And all that jazz ♪ 559 00:26:34,343 --> 00:26:36,345 ♪ I'm gonna rouge my knees ♪ 560 00:26:36,428 --> 00:26:38,680 ♪ And roll my stockings down ♪ 561 00:26:40,766 --> 00:26:42,726 ♪ And all that jazz ♪ 562 00:26:42,809 --> 00:26:44,186 ♪ Start the car ♪ 563 00:26:44,270 --> 00:26:46,397 ♪ I know a whoopee spot ♪ 564 00:26:46,480 --> 00:26:49,816 ♪ Where the gin is cold But the piano's hot ♪ 565 00:26:49,900 --> 00:26:52,194 ♪ It's just a noisy hall ♪ 566 00:26:52,278 --> 00:26:54,321 ♪ Where there's a nightly brawl ♪ 567 00:26:54,405 --> 00:26:55,697 ♪ And all ♪ 568 00:26:56,782 --> 00:26:57,824 ♪ That ♪ 569 00:26:58,367 --> 00:27:00,744 ♪ Jazz ♪ 570 00:27:02,663 --> 00:27:04,581 ♪ Whoopee ♪ 571 00:27:04,665 --> 00:27:07,209 ♪ And all that jazz ♪ 572 00:27:07,293 --> 00:27:09,545 ♪ Ah... Whoopee ♪ 573 00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:11,630 It's too close, Patrick. 574 00:27:12,714 --> 00:27:14,341 ♪ And all that jazz ♪ 575 00:27:14,425 --> 00:27:15,926 Nice camel toe! 576 00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:25,394 ♪ Slick your hair And wear your buckle sh... ♪ 577 00:27:25,477 --> 00:27:26,478 Patrick. 578 00:27:27,271 --> 00:27:30,524 ♪ And all that jazz I hear that Father Dip ♪ 579 00:27:30,607 --> 00:27:31,733 Patrick, stop. 580 00:27:31,817 --> 00:27:32,943 You're too close. 581 00:27:34,152 --> 00:27:36,530 ♪ And all that jazz ♪ 582 00:27:36,613 --> 00:27:38,699 Patrick, stop. Can you get on the other side? 583 00:27:38,782 --> 00:27:41,117 Hi, guys. It's not part of the show. 584 00:27:41,202 --> 00:27:43,995 Patrick, you're making it very hard for me to do my choreography. 585 00:27:44,079 --> 00:27:47,249 ♪ I betcha Lucky Lindy Never flew so high ♪ 586 00:27:47,333 --> 00:27:48,334 Ow! 587 00:27:48,417 --> 00:27:51,002 Patrick. 588 00:27:51,086 --> 00:27:54,798 ♪ Oh, you're gonna see Your shimmy shimmy ♪ 589 00:27:54,881 --> 00:27:56,508 Patrick, stop. 590 00:27:59,386 --> 00:28:00,971 Turn off the bubble machine. 591 00:28:01,054 --> 00:28:02,764 Uncle Jim. 592 00:28:02,848 --> 00:28:04,182 Oh, Patrick. 593 00:28:05,226 --> 00:28:07,478 - Uncle Jim, do something. - Okay. 594 00:28:07,561 --> 00:28:09,688 Just... I'll help you. 595 00:28:09,771 --> 00:28:11,732 Get off the stage. 596 00:28:14,067 --> 00:28:16,403 - Oh, thank you. - Uncle Jim, what are you doing? 597 00:28:16,487 --> 00:28:19,698 - Oh! - Uncle Jim, just get off this stage. 598 00:28:21,575 --> 00:28:23,369 No, no, no. Don't clap for him. Don't clap for him. 599 00:28:25,371 --> 00:28:27,289 Thank you. Thank you. 600 00:28:31,126 --> 00:28:33,128 Don't look at that, please. 601 00:28:33,211 --> 00:28:36,214 Oh, my God, this is perfect. 602 00:28:37,132 --> 00:28:38,759 That was not part of the show. 603 00:28:39,635 --> 00:28:41,512 Do you see how crazy they are? 604 00:28:44,223 --> 00:28:48,059 I mean, we all understand if this is just too much for you. 605 00:28:48,810 --> 00:28:52,564 I'm just glad you got to see it before you and Mom got too serious. 606 00:28:52,648 --> 00:28:54,400 This family is clearly broken. 607 00:28:54,483 --> 00:28:55,526 It's not part of it. 608 00:28:55,609 --> 00:28:57,819 And what do you do when something's broken? 609 00:28:57,903 --> 00:28:59,029 It's time to move on. 610 00:28:59,112 --> 00:29:00,239 Uncle Jim! 611 00:29:00,322 --> 00:29:02,991 Patrick, just let him fall off the stage, okay? It's fine. 612 00:29:03,074 --> 00:29:04,660 Don't watch them, everybody. 613 00:29:04,743 --> 00:29:06,077 - Just watch me, please... - Bethany... 614 00:29:06,161 --> 00:29:08,580 my little basket of fish and loaves... 615 00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:10,874 I can take you from this train wreck. 616 00:29:10,957 --> 00:29:12,376 What? No, we're not a train wreck. 617 00:29:12,459 --> 00:29:14,711 We're just a mess, and my mom's not going anywhere. 618 00:29:19,466 --> 00:29:20,926 Bethany? 619 00:29:22,177 --> 00:29:23,512 - Mom? - Right. 620 00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:25,472 You can't actually be considering this. 621 00:29:25,556 --> 00:29:27,849 You need me. 622 00:29:27,933 --> 00:29:31,978 And deep in that bandaged, broken heart of yours, 623 00:29:32,062 --> 00:29:33,229 you know it's true. 624 00:29:33,314 --> 00:29:35,691 Patrick! 625 00:29:35,774 --> 00:29:38,319 Patrick, just... Let's just jump off, please. 626 00:29:38,402 --> 00:29:39,486 No, don't clap for them. 627 00:29:39,570 --> 00:29:40,696 Stop, everybody. 628 00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:43,657 I do need you. 629 00:29:44,616 --> 00:29:47,328 But, I mean, clearly they need me more. 630 00:29:48,704 --> 00:29:51,540 This has been a lot of fun, Keith. It really has. 631 00:29:51,623 --> 00:29:54,751 But if there's one thing I've learned about being a mother, it's... 632 00:29:54,835 --> 00:29:56,670 fun has nothing to do with it. 633 00:29:58,046 --> 00:29:59,465 What? 634 00:29:59,548 --> 00:30:00,799 I'm sorry. 635 00:30:00,882 --> 00:30:04,094 Patrick, stop encouraging this... 636 00:30:04,177 --> 00:30:05,637 Well, if that's how you feel. 637 00:30:05,721 --> 00:30:08,098 Patrick, please stop. Please stop... 638 00:30:08,181 --> 00:30:09,683 Just, please stop it. 639 00:30:09,766 --> 00:30:12,686 Don't clap for them, you guys. We did not rehearse any of this. 640 00:30:12,769 --> 00:30:14,480 This is not planned. 641 00:30:14,563 --> 00:30:16,482 - I'm gonna need the Rascal back. - Stop! Stop... 642 00:30:16,565 --> 00:30:19,025 Oh, yes, of course. I understand. 643 00:30:23,154 --> 00:30:24,239 ♪ All ♪ 644 00:30:24,323 --> 00:30:25,324 ♪ That ♪ 645 00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:27,534 ♪ Jazz ♪ 646 00:30:30,161 --> 00:30:32,247 Stop. Thank you. 647 00:30:33,874 --> 00:30:36,167 It was a cheap, low-grade model anyway. 648 00:30:37,544 --> 00:30:39,505 Yeah, but I liked him. 649 00:30:41,089 --> 00:30:44,259 Okay, wow. Just... just... Just wow. 650 00:30:44,343 --> 00:30:45,594 Well, I think we can all agree 651 00:30:45,677 --> 00:30:49,014 what the most entertaining act of the evening was. 652 00:30:49,097 --> 00:30:53,852 The $100 prize goes to the comedy trio from Tacoma. 653 00:30:53,935 --> 00:30:56,605 Thank you, thank you. 654 00:30:56,688 --> 00:31:00,233 - This is a wonderful life moment for me. - What? Comedy trio? 655 00:31:00,316 --> 00:31:01,568 No, I'm a solo act. 656 00:31:01,652 --> 00:31:04,405 No, we don't accept your stupid check, okay? 657 00:31:07,658 --> 00:31:09,451 Okay. We don't want it. 658 00:31:09,535 --> 00:31:10,911 Thanks for nothing. 659 00:31:15,248 --> 00:31:16,708 Thank you, though. 660 00:31:16,792 --> 00:31:18,001 Thank you. 661 00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:24,591 Oh, Miranda? Miranda? 662 00:31:31,264 --> 00:31:32,433 Uh-huh. 663 00:31:32,516 --> 00:31:34,685 That's the idea. Just a few more windows 664 00:31:34,768 --> 00:31:37,396 and I'll be able to drive this baby back home. 665 00:31:40,732 --> 00:31:42,776 Where's your stupid boyfriend? 666 00:31:43,944 --> 00:31:45,696 He's gone. 667 00:31:55,997 --> 00:31:57,373 I can't believe this. 668 00:31:57,458 --> 00:32:02,546 I made this trip turn out even more perfectly than I could have imagined. 669 00:32:06,341 --> 00:32:07,759 Winners. 670 00:32:07,843 --> 00:32:09,970 We're all winners.