1
00:00:00,841 --> 00:00:02,282
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:02,486 --> 00:00:04,632
Cohabitation with my girlfriend?
3
00:00:04,633 --> 00:00:06,524
That's a great deal
to process.
4
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:07,068
Hmm?
5
00:00:07,069 --> 00:00:08,669
It's only for five weeks.
6
00:00:08,671 --> 00:00:09,970
Let me appeal
to the scientist in you.
7
00:00:09,972 --> 00:00:12,005
Given the five-week
end date,
8
00:00:12,007 --> 00:00:14,975
isn't it the perfect opportunity
to consider this an experiment
9
00:00:14,977 --> 00:00:17,044
and collect data
on our compatibility?
10
00:00:17,046 --> 00:00:20,147
Don't try luring me
in with sexy talk.
11
00:00:20,149 --> 00:00:21,815
Okay.
12
00:00:21,817 --> 00:00:23,283
Star Trek: The Original Series.
13
00:00:23,285 --> 00:00:25,152
The Enterprise was
on a five-year mission
14
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to explore new worlds.
15
00:00:26,288 --> 00:00:27,487
Think of this
as your personal
16
00:00:27,489 --> 00:00:29,890
five-week mission
to do the same.
17
00:00:29,892 --> 00:00:34,361
Oh, you want to lure me in with
sexy talk, that's how you do it.
18
00:00:34,363 --> 00:00:35,996
Okay, why don't you guys
stay across the hall
19
00:00:35,998 --> 00:00:37,731
and we will
live here?
20
00:00:39,168 --> 00:00:40,867
Very well. I'm on board.
21
00:00:40,869 --> 00:00:42,402
- Seriously?
- Yes.
22
00:00:42,404 --> 00:00:43,937
I accept this
five-week mission
23
00:00:43,939 --> 00:00:45,772
to share a living space
with my girlfriend.
24
00:00:45,774 --> 00:00:47,274
Oh. This is so exciting.
25
00:00:47,276 --> 00:00:49,309
Well, now, don't be surprised
if, like Star Trek,
26
00:00:49,311 --> 00:00:52,646
it's canceled in three.
27
00:00:54,149 --> 00:00:56,617
Okay, I'm confused.
28
00:00:56,619 --> 00:00:58,085
Which one is Mr. Robot?
29
00:00:58,087 --> 00:00:59,519
I'll give you a hint.
30
00:00:59,521 --> 00:01:02,022
We're watching
Daredevil.
31
00:01:02,024 --> 00:01:05,525
Will you two please inform Amy
how much you enjoy
32
00:01:05,527 --> 00:01:07,861
adhering
to a strict bathroom schedule?
33
00:01:07,863 --> 00:01:08,895
- Can't.
- Won't.
34
00:01:08,897 --> 00:01:10,130
- Didn't.
- Don't.
35
00:01:10,132 --> 00:01:11,398
I told you,
36
00:01:11,400 --> 00:01:14,201
you can't regulate every aspect
of our lives.
37
00:01:14,203 --> 00:01:17,971
I can if you'd just roll over
and accept your fate.
38
00:01:17,973 --> 00:01:20,440
I'm sorry
for bringing this over here.
39
00:01:20,442 --> 00:01:22,142
Believe me, we know
what you're going through.
40
00:01:22,144 --> 00:01:24,745
And I-I think the most helpful
thing we can tell you is
41
00:01:24,747 --> 00:01:25,966
no backsies.
42
00:01:25,990 --> 00:01:27,782
Mm-hmm.
43
00:01:27,783 --> 00:01:29,116
Sheldon,
I understand
44
00:01:29,118 --> 00:01:30,550
that you like things
a certain way
45
00:01:30,552 --> 00:01:32,219
and I'm willing
to make some concessions,
46
00:01:32,221 --> 00:01:34,621
but you have to be open
to compromise.
47
00:01:34,623 --> 00:01:36,123
She's right.
That's reasonable.
48
00:01:36,125 --> 00:01:37,924
Oh, look who's in
favor of compromise,
49
00:01:37,926 --> 00:01:41,328
the woman who married
Leonard Hofstadter.
50
00:01:41,330 --> 00:01:43,563
Hey, she didn't
compromise.
51
00:01:43,565 --> 00:01:46,233
She settled.
There's a difference.
52
00:01:46,969 --> 00:01:49,503
Yeah. You tell him, babe.
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00:01:49,505 --> 00:01:53,140
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
54
00:01:53,142 --> 00:01:56,476
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
55
00:01:56,478 --> 00:01:58,111
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
56
00:01:58,113 --> 00:02:00,647
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
57
00:02:00,649 --> 00:02:03,316
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
58
00:02:03,318 --> 00:02:05,986
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
59
00:02:05,988 --> 00:02:07,888
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
60
00:02:07,890 --> 00:02:08,555
♪ Bang! ♪
61
00:02:08,557 --> 00:02:10,557
♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x05 ♪
The Hot Tub Contamination
Original Air Da
62
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== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
63
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What time do you
and Bernadette head out?
64
00:02:16,362 --> 00:02:17,895
As soon as I get home.
65
00:02:17,897 --> 00:02:19,330
We're hoping to make it
before dark.
66
00:02:19,332 --> 00:02:21,098
I've never been
to Palm Springs.
67
00:02:21,100 --> 00:02:22,433
Oh, you
should go.
68
00:02:22,435 --> 00:02:24,702
It's terrific.
I-I really thrive anywhere
69
00:02:24,704 --> 00:02:28,239
the women and the temperature
are over 90.
70
00:02:29,142 --> 00:02:30,508
I don't know.
71
00:02:30,510 --> 00:02:32,109
If I want to watch
old people sweat,
72
00:02:32,111 --> 00:02:35,312
I can just FaceTime
my family in India.
73
00:02:36,282 --> 00:02:37,281
It's nice you
74
00:02:37,283 --> 00:02:39,216
and Bernadette are getting away.
75
00:02:39,218 --> 00:02:41,852
Well, she wants us to
spend more time together
76
00:02:41,854 --> 00:02:43,220
before the baby comes.
77
00:02:43,222 --> 00:02:45,623
So then what are you doing here
buying comic books?
78
00:02:45,625 --> 00:02:48,092
Well, he wants us to
spend more time together
79
00:02:48,094 --> 00:02:50,161
before the baby comes.
80
00:02:52,331 --> 00:02:54,632
When you live with someone,
there's gonna be conflict.
81
00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:57,468
You just have
to keep communicating.
82
00:02:57,470 --> 00:02:59,069
I'm open to that.
83
00:02:59,071 --> 00:03:01,572
Okay. Well, for starters,
84
00:03:01,574 --> 00:03:04,108
there's nothing wrong
with keeping our toothbrushes
85
00:03:04,110 --> 00:03:05,809
in the same holder.
86
00:03:06,646 --> 00:03:09,213
Sheldon, what do you say
to that?
87
00:03:09,215 --> 00:03:11,182
I think we should
see other people.
88
00:03:14,053 --> 00:03:14,984
What?!
89
00:03:14,985 --> 00:03:18,123
Well, as a male, I have
an evolutionary drive
90
00:03:18,124 --> 00:03:19,890
to perpetuate my DNA.
91
00:03:19,892 --> 00:03:23,627
Restricting myself to a single
partner is against my nature.
92
00:03:25,298 --> 00:03:26,997
We sleep together once a year!
93
00:03:26,999 --> 00:03:29,533
You want other partners?
94
00:03:29,535 --> 00:03:32,469
Don't blame me.
Blame your pal, biology.
95
00:03:32,471 --> 00:03:35,005
He's the pervert pulling
the strings here.
96
00:03:36,008 --> 00:03:38,553
You wanna see other people?
Go see other people.
97
00:03:38,991 --> 00:03:42,313
I hope one of those people is a
monkey, 'cause this is bananas.
98
00:03:43,592 --> 00:03:45,256
You can make jokes,
but if this keeps up,
99
00:03:45,257 --> 00:03:46,463
he's gonna move
back in here.
100
00:03:46,487 --> 00:03:48,252
All right. Well, let's just get them
apart for a while
101
00:03:48,254 --> 00:03:49,266
so they can cool down.
102
00:03:49,290 --> 00:03:50,155
Good.
103
00:03:50,156 --> 00:03:51,722
Then before we
reintroduce them,
104
00:03:51,724 --> 00:03:52,923
we'll give him one
of her sweaters
105
00:03:52,925 --> 00:03:55,426
so he can get used
to her scent again.
106
00:03:56,421 --> 00:03:59,029
So it's okay for you
to joke around?
107
00:03:59,031 --> 00:04:00,631
No, that's actually
what we did with him
108
00:04:00,633 --> 00:04:02,766
when Howard came
back from space.
109
00:04:04,971 --> 00:04:07,304
Honey, how ya feeling?
110
00:04:11,377 --> 00:04:13,444
The book says at this stage
of the pregnancy
111
00:04:13,446 --> 00:04:15,779
morning sickness
should be going away.
112
00:04:19,752 --> 00:04:22,720
So that's good news, right?
113
00:04:22,722 --> 00:04:26,457
The only thing I hate more than
you right now is that book!
114
00:04:30,529 --> 00:04:33,764
There she is!
115
00:04:33,766 --> 00:04:36,667
Who's ready for a hot,
116
00:04:36,669 --> 00:04:40,104
three-hour car ride
to the desert?
117
00:04:40,106 --> 00:04:43,607
Next vomit is gonna be
in your lap.
118
00:04:43,609 --> 00:04:46,277
I'm sorry.
119
00:04:46,279 --> 00:04:48,245
We don't have to go.
120
00:04:48,247 --> 00:04:50,447
But it's our last chance
to take a vacation
121
00:04:50,449 --> 00:04:52,716
that's just the two of us.
122
00:04:52,718 --> 00:04:54,885
How 'bout we stay here?
123
00:04:54,887 --> 00:04:56,587
We don't even have
to tell anyone.
124
00:04:56,589 --> 00:04:59,623
It'll be like
a secret vacation at home.
125
00:05:01,002 --> 00:05:02,127
Keeping secrets
from our friends...
126
00:05:02,128 --> 00:05:04,228
that does sound
kinda fun.
127
00:05:04,230 --> 00:05:07,531
Does it sound... sexy?
128
00:05:12,338 --> 00:05:15,773
You just heard me
throwing up.
129
00:05:15,775 --> 00:05:19,109
You bet I did.
130
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:27,751
You're so weird.
131
00:05:27,753 --> 00:05:29,787
You know what's weird?
132
00:05:34,093 --> 00:05:36,593
How turned on
you are right now.
133
00:05:39,398 --> 00:05:41,131
You know, people are quick
to accuse me
134
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,533
of being difficult
to live with,
135
00:05:42,535 --> 00:05:45,235
but the truth is,
Amy is just as challenging.
136
00:05:45,237 --> 00:05:47,638
Just as challenging.
137
00:05:47,640 --> 00:05:48,806
Yes.
138
00:05:48,808 --> 00:05:51,608
As you.
139
00:05:51,610 --> 00:05:52,976
Yes.
140
00:05:52,978 --> 00:05:55,779
Just as challenging as you.
141
00:05:57,883 --> 00:05:59,149
When we're sleeping,
142
00:05:59,151 --> 00:06:00,584
she breathes on me.
143
00:06:00,586 --> 00:06:02,920
One night, it got so bad
I almost grabbed Toto
144
00:06:02,922 --> 00:06:05,356
and headed for the storm cellar.
145
00:06:05,358 --> 00:06:07,358
Leonard breathes on me, too.
146
00:06:07,360 --> 00:06:08,926
It's not a big deal.
147
00:06:08,928 --> 00:06:10,761
She's always complaining
about people at work.
148
00:06:10,763 --> 00:06:12,429
Well, so does Leonard.
149
00:06:12,431 --> 00:06:14,264
It's kind of annoying, but
it's not the end of the world.
150
00:06:14,266 --> 00:06:16,033
Do you know that when I get out
of the shower,
151
00:06:16,035 --> 00:06:19,636
she eyes me up and down
like I'm a piece of meat?
152
00:06:19,638 --> 00:06:20,871
You know, so does Leonard.
153
00:06:20,873 --> 00:06:22,172
Can't I just get ready
in the morning
154
00:06:22,174 --> 00:06:24,041
without him giving me
his goofy thumbs-up?
155
00:06:24,043 --> 00:06:25,442
"Hey."
156
00:06:26,312 --> 00:06:28,145
I know.
157
00:06:28,147 --> 00:06:30,247
Sometimes I would just like
to be appreciated for my mind.
158
00:06:30,249 --> 00:06:33,650
Agreed!
Thank you!
159
00:06:36,088 --> 00:06:38,555
That feels great.
160
00:06:38,557 --> 00:06:39,890
Well,
161
00:06:39,892 --> 00:06:41,458
pulling a quarter out
of your ear
162
00:06:41,460 --> 00:06:44,395
isn't the only magic
these hands can do.
163
00:06:44,397 --> 00:06:47,931
In fact, wh-what's this
164
00:06:47,933 --> 00:06:51,168
between your toes?!
165
00:06:51,170 --> 00:06:55,038
Can you please stop making money
come out of me for two minutes?
166
00:07:01,147 --> 00:07:02,446
Was that the front door?
167
00:07:02,448 --> 00:07:04,448
It sounded like it.
168
00:07:04,450 --> 00:07:07,151
Oh, my God.
Someone's in the house.
169
00:07:07,153 --> 00:07:09,353
Lock the door, lock the door!
170
00:07:10,823 --> 00:07:13,056
- We should call the police.
- Uh...
171
00:07:13,058 --> 00:07:14,825
I left my phone downstairs.
172
00:07:14,827 --> 00:07:16,360
Damn, so did I.
173
00:07:16,362 --> 00:07:18,228
Wait, I have my iPad!
What are we gonna do,
174
00:07:18,230 --> 00:07:20,497
e-mail 911?
175
00:07:20,499 --> 00:07:22,166
That's not helpful!
176
00:07:22,168 --> 00:07:23,167
You know I rely
177
00:07:23,169 --> 00:07:25,035
on humor in times of stress.
178
00:07:25,037 --> 00:07:27,604
Let me know when you start,
because that wasn't funny!
179
00:07:31,644 --> 00:07:33,544
Is that the hot tub?
180
00:07:34,380 --> 00:07:36,880
Who would use
our hot tub?
181
00:07:38,150 --> 00:07:41,285
Well, the answer is both
more and less disturbing
182
00:07:41,287 --> 00:07:43,053
than you think.
183
00:07:43,055 --> 00:07:44,154
Who is it?
184
00:07:44,156 --> 00:07:45,322
Stuart.
185
00:07:48,394 --> 00:07:51,128
He heard me talking
about us going away.
186
00:07:51,130 --> 00:07:54,665
I guess he decided
to invite himself over?
187
00:07:54,667 --> 00:07:56,533
Should we say something to him?
188
00:07:56,535 --> 00:07:58,635
Maybe. How 'bout,
189
00:07:58,637 --> 00:08:03,173
"Hey, you look like
a boiled chicken breast"?
190
00:08:04,443 --> 00:08:06,844
I meant like, "What
are you doing here?"
191
00:08:06,846 --> 00:08:10,214
Nah, that's not gonna
hurt his feelings.
192
00:08:11,383 --> 00:08:13,717
Why is nothing easy
with him?
193
00:08:13,719 --> 00:08:17,988
Look, here's the thing you need
to understand about Sheldon:
194
00:08:17,990 --> 00:08:20,457
he's the worst.
195
00:08:20,459 --> 00:08:23,694
I prefer to think of it
as high-maintenance.
196
00:08:23,696 --> 00:08:25,629
I prefer to think of myself
as five-ten,
197
00:08:25,631 --> 00:08:27,898
but I still need to get
all my pants hemmed.
198
00:08:27,900 --> 00:08:31,602
I guess I should have known
what I was getting myself into.
199
00:08:31,604 --> 00:08:33,070
Don't beat yourself up.
200
00:08:33,072 --> 00:08:35,072
You've never lived
with anyone before.
201
00:08:35,074 --> 00:08:37,074
That's true.
And you're starting out
202
00:08:37,076 --> 00:08:39,076
with Sheldon Cooper.
203
00:08:39,078 --> 00:08:41,745
That's like getting your first
pet and having it be...
204
00:08:41,747 --> 00:08:43,747
I don't know...
205
00:08:43,749 --> 00:08:47,017
What's a kind of pet
that ruins your life?
206
00:08:47,019 --> 00:08:49,553
You're not making me
feel better.
207
00:08:49,555 --> 00:08:52,322
Look, even when Penny and I
started living together,
208
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,057
there was a-a learning curve.
209
00:08:54,059 --> 00:08:56,693
But I promise you,
it does get easier.
210
00:08:56,695 --> 00:08:58,629
He put a sign up in the bathroom
that says,
211
00:08:58,631 --> 00:09:02,599
"Number of days
without Amy's hair on the soap."
212
00:09:03,435 --> 00:09:04,968
Yeah.
213
00:09:04,970 --> 00:09:08,005
My record was six.
214
00:09:10,175 --> 00:09:12,175
Is it me,
or is there something fun
215
00:09:12,177 --> 00:09:14,411
about watching him
just float there?
216
00:09:17,249 --> 00:09:19,883
Maybe this is why
people get fish tanks.
217
00:09:21,987 --> 00:09:23,787
Who just turned
the porch lights on?
218
00:09:23,789 --> 00:09:25,956
Is someone else here?
219
00:09:28,761 --> 00:09:31,328
Hmm. They must have left
the tub on.
220
00:09:31,330 --> 00:09:33,163
Good thing I stopped by.
221
00:09:47,613 --> 00:09:50,280
Ah!
222
00:10:00,755 --> 00:10:03,256
What are you doing here?!
223
00:10:03,366 --> 00:10:05,499
What are you doing here?!
224
00:10:06,144 --> 00:10:09,512
Maybe Howard and Bernadette said
I could be here!
225
00:10:09,514 --> 00:10:11,448
Did they?
226
00:10:11,450 --> 00:10:14,150
Answer the question!
What are you doing here?!
227
00:10:15,253 --> 00:10:17,954
I had nothing else
to do tonight.
228
00:10:17,956 --> 00:10:19,456
The last couple of months,
229
00:10:19,458 --> 00:10:21,825
I come here when I
know they're not home.
230
00:10:21,827 --> 00:10:22,859
What?!
231
00:10:22,861 --> 00:10:24,394
They heard me in
the bushes once,
232
00:10:24,396 --> 00:10:26,630
but they thought
it was a raccoon.
233
00:10:27,933 --> 00:10:30,433
I told you raccoons
don't say "Uh-oh."
234
00:10:33,205 --> 00:10:36,039
You know, one night, Leonard's
nose whistled so loud,
235
00:10:36,041 --> 00:10:39,209
I swear it was like
sleeping on a train track.
236
00:10:39,211 --> 00:10:41,000
Have you noticed
it's always an A-flat?
237
00:10:41,024 --> 00:10:42,513
Is it?
238
00:10:42,514 --> 00:10:44,147
Oh!
239
00:10:44,149 --> 00:10:46,549
It's like his sinuses
are right here in the car.
240
00:10:46,551 --> 00:10:49,719
If we're just going
to drive around aimlessly,
241
00:10:49,721 --> 00:10:51,955
the least you could do is
take me for ice cream.
242
00:10:51,957 --> 00:10:53,623
Yeah, I'll take you
for ice cream.
243
00:10:53,625 --> 00:10:56,259
Well, see, why can't Amy be
that subservient?
244
00:10:56,261 --> 00:11:00,096
She has coitus one time,
suddenly she's Gloria Steinem.
245
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,800
Anyway, I suppose an ice cream
parlor will be a good place
246
00:11:03,802 --> 00:11:05,168
to meet other women.
247
00:11:05,170 --> 00:11:06,936
Oh, please, you're
barely interested
248
00:11:06,938 --> 00:11:08,605
in a physical relationship
with one person.
249
00:11:08,607 --> 00:11:12,475
Why would you want to confuse
and disappoint others?
250
00:11:12,477 --> 00:11:16,312
Being with Amy has awoken
the sexual creature within.
251
00:11:16,314 --> 00:11:19,649
When I see a pretty gal walking
down the street, I think,
252
00:11:19,651 --> 00:11:22,652
"hubba hubba"
like any other guy.
253
00:11:22,654 --> 00:11:25,755
You kiss your mother
with that mouth?
254
00:11:25,757 --> 00:11:27,023
'Cause it's fine.
255
00:11:29,528 --> 00:11:31,728
Here you go.
256
00:11:31,730 --> 00:11:33,930
Thank you.
257
00:11:35,267 --> 00:11:36,900
Shall we toast?
258
00:11:36,902 --> 00:11:39,369
To Howard and Bernadette,
259
00:11:39,371 --> 00:11:42,572
and the house key they
never asked me to return.
260
00:11:44,076 --> 00:11:46,109
You said you got it back.
261
00:11:46,111 --> 00:11:49,546
Well, clearly, I lied.
262
00:11:51,116 --> 00:11:52,482
So how's your apartment?
263
00:11:52,484 --> 00:11:54,484
Not great. The
electricity's out.
264
00:11:54,486 --> 00:11:56,152
So why don't you get it fixed?
265
00:11:56,154 --> 00:12:00,924
I called, and they're
like, "Pay your bill!"
266
00:12:00,926 --> 00:12:04,060
Of you ever need somewhere to
crash, there's always my place.
267
00:12:04,062 --> 00:12:06,229
Oh, no. I don't want
to be an inconvenience.
268
00:12:06,231 --> 00:12:09,165
You've got all your
lady friends, and...
269
00:12:09,167 --> 00:12:11,134
Actually, I'm single now.
270
00:12:11,136 --> 00:12:12,302
What?!
271
00:12:12,304 --> 00:12:13,570
When did that happen?
272
00:12:13,572 --> 00:12:15,472
It's okay. It's by choice.
273
00:12:15,474 --> 00:12:18,742
Well, their choice,
and it's not okay.
274
00:12:18,744 --> 00:12:21,344
Oh. Sorry.
I didn't know.
275
00:12:21,346 --> 00:12:25,081
Nobody does. I was embarrassed
so I didn't say anything.
276
00:12:25,083 --> 00:12:26,983
Why wouldn't he tell us?
277
00:12:26,985 --> 00:12:28,985
Are we bad friends?
278
00:12:28,987 --> 00:12:31,387
He's in our hot tub
drinking our wine.
279
00:12:31,389 --> 00:12:34,057
Yeah, he deserves
to be alone.
280
00:12:35,427 --> 00:12:38,294
So you're back out
on the dating scene now?
281
00:12:38,296 --> 00:12:40,263
Yeah, yeah, a little.
282
00:12:40,265 --> 00:12:42,132
Oh, that must be fun.
How's that going?
283
00:12:42,134 --> 00:12:44,801
I'm in a hot tub with you,
so pretty bad.
284
00:12:47,806 --> 00:12:50,507
Maybe I should just give in
to his stupid bathroom schedule.
285
00:12:50,509 --> 00:12:52,142
No, don't do that.
286
00:12:52,144 --> 00:12:54,110
- But you did!
- Exactly!
287
00:12:54,112 --> 00:12:56,746
Learn from my mistakes!
288
00:12:56,748 --> 00:12:59,716
No matter where
I am at 7:18 a.m.,
289
00:12:59,718 --> 00:13:02,352
there better be
a toilet nearby.
290
00:13:04,956 --> 00:13:07,757
It's just so much easier
to give him what he wants.
291
00:13:07,759 --> 00:13:11,394
Oh, true, but think of how
much you've accomplished.
292
00:13:11,396 --> 00:13:13,963
Who got him to stop
Purelling his pocket change?
293
00:13:13,965 --> 00:13:15,965
Me.
294
00:13:15,967 --> 00:13:18,067
And who got him to put
things other than gloves
295
00:13:18,069 --> 00:13:19,803
in the glove compartment?
296
00:13:19,805 --> 00:13:21,738
Me.
297
00:13:21,740 --> 00:13:23,406
It was mittens.
298
00:13:23,408 --> 00:13:24,707
Mm.
299
00:13:24,709 --> 00:13:26,843
And who got him to
try a turkey dog?
300
00:13:26,845 --> 00:13:28,044
That was actually Koothrappali,
301
00:13:28,046 --> 00:13:30,680
but I did let him spit it out
in my hand.
302
00:13:30,682 --> 00:13:33,917
Look, how can you stop now?
303
00:13:33,919 --> 00:13:35,451
That's like walking
out of Pinocchio
304
00:13:35,453 --> 00:13:38,021
right before he
becomes a real boy.
305
00:13:38,023 --> 00:13:39,522
You know, you're right.
306
00:13:39,524 --> 00:13:41,124
I'm in this relationship, too.
307
00:13:41,126 --> 00:13:42,125
I need to stand up for myself.
308
00:13:42,126 --> 00:13:43,132
Of course you do.
309
00:13:43,133 --> 00:13:45,962
And if he doesn't like it,
he can move back here.
310
00:13:45,964 --> 00:13:49,966
Oh. He can try. He'd just
need a good locksmith.
311
00:13:52,737 --> 00:13:55,538
Well, who you
gonna hit on?
312
00:13:55,540 --> 00:13:57,507
The girl in front of
us got strawberry.
313
00:13:57,509 --> 00:13:59,542
That's your favorite.
314
00:13:59,544 --> 00:14:03,346
No. No, if we both like it,
I'll spend the rest of my life
315
00:14:03,348 --> 00:14:07,083
opening the freezer and going,
"Aw, no strawberry."
316
00:14:07,085 --> 00:14:09,886
What about the girl
behind the counter?
317
00:14:09,888 --> 00:14:12,288
Hmm? Well, she spends
her whole day scooping.
318
00:14:12,290 --> 00:14:16,159
One arm's probably
bigger than the other.
319
00:14:16,161 --> 00:14:19,596
Is it possible you might not
actually want to meet someone?
320
00:14:21,199 --> 00:14:23,733
You are truly wise.
321
00:14:23,735 --> 00:14:24,514
Thank you.
322
00:14:24,538 --> 00:14:25,836
I'd say
323
00:14:25,837 --> 00:14:26,859
wise beyond your years,
but you're getting up there.
324
00:14:26,883 --> 00:14:28,109
All right.
325
00:14:29,307 --> 00:14:32,742
Come on. What is really
going on with you?
326
00:14:34,613 --> 00:14:37,413
Penny, I am going
to tell you a story
327
00:14:37,415 --> 00:14:38,681
that I've never told anyone.
328
00:14:38,683 --> 00:14:40,250
All right.
329
00:14:40,252 --> 00:14:42,585
I was 13 years old,
330
00:14:42,587 --> 00:14:45,588
and on spring break
from college.
331
00:14:49,561 --> 00:14:51,527
Not relating. Go on.
332
00:14:51,529 --> 00:14:55,932
I came home early because they
ran out of math to teach me.
333
00:14:55,934 --> 00:14:57,967
Oh, now I'm with ya. Okay.
334
00:14:57,969 --> 00:14:59,869
My mother was at bible study.
335
00:14:59,871 --> 00:15:02,505
I walked in the house
expecting to find it empty,
336
00:15:02,507 --> 00:15:06,342
and I heard a sound coming
from my parents' bedroom.
337
00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:08,177
When I opened the door,
338
00:15:08,179 --> 00:15:11,748
I saw my father having relations
with another woman.
339
00:15:11,750 --> 00:15:14,851
Oh, that's awful!
I know.
340
00:15:14,853 --> 00:15:16,819
It's also why
I never open a door
341
00:15:16,821 --> 00:15:18,488
without knocking three times.
342
00:15:18,490 --> 00:15:20,423
I mean, the first
one's traditional,
343
00:15:20,425 --> 00:15:23,760
but two and three are for people
to get their pants on.
344
00:15:23,762 --> 00:15:27,096
Well, what happened
with your dad?
345
00:15:27,098 --> 00:15:30,199
We locked eyes,
I ran to my room,
346
00:15:30,201 --> 00:15:32,902
and we never, ever spoke of it.
347
00:15:32,904 --> 00:15:34,804
You poor thing.
348
00:15:34,806 --> 00:15:37,307
Since Amy and I
have been living together,
349
00:15:37,309 --> 00:15:39,842
we've been bickering
like my parents used to.
350
00:15:39,844 --> 00:15:43,212
And you're afraid you're gonna
do something like your dad did?
351
00:15:43,214 --> 00:15:45,848
Yes. I need to prepare her now
352
00:15:45,850 --> 00:15:47,776
to save her from pain
down the road.
353
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:49,019
Down the road?
354
00:15:49,020 --> 00:15:51,788
Sheldon, she wanted to share a
toothbrush holder with you,
355
00:15:51,790 --> 00:15:55,458
and now you're at an ice cream
parlor trying to pick up women!
356
00:15:57,228 --> 00:16:00,196
Well, anything can sound silly
when you put it in that tone.
357
00:16:00,198 --> 00:16:02,231
Honey, instead of
worrying about pain
358
00:16:02,233 --> 00:16:04,334
you might cause in the
future, how about trying
359
00:16:04,336 --> 00:16:06,502
to fix the pain you're
causing her right now?
360
00:16:08,273 --> 00:16:10,873
I'm sure you're right.
361
00:16:10,875 --> 00:16:13,810
I suppose I should
apologize to you, as well.
362
00:16:13,812 --> 00:16:15,445
Okay.
363
00:16:15,447 --> 00:16:18,414
That must have hurt watching me
look for other women
364
00:16:18,416 --> 00:16:21,317
without ever even
considering you.
365
00:16:25,623 --> 00:16:28,524
Please understand
that I think of you
366
00:16:28,526 --> 00:16:31,828
as more of a nanny.
367
00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:36,032
Just finish your ice cream
so I can get you home to bed.
368
00:16:41,106 --> 00:16:43,239
I wonder if this is
what it feels like
369
00:16:43,241 --> 00:16:45,742
to be Bernadette's baby.
370
00:16:47,379 --> 00:16:50,413
I don't know. Bernadette's baby
doesn't have a Jacuzzi jet
371
00:16:50,415 --> 00:16:52,682
hitting just the right spot.
372
00:16:54,652 --> 00:16:58,855
Those jets are
for my secret spot, not his!
373
00:16:58,857 --> 00:17:01,157
What do you do in there?!
374
00:17:01,159 --> 00:17:05,194
It's called relaxing,
and that's all you need to know.
375
00:17:07,632 --> 00:17:09,899
Well, it's getting late.
376
00:17:09,901 --> 00:17:12,168
Maybe we should head home.
377
00:17:12,170 --> 00:17:14,904
Yeah, you're probably right.
378
00:17:16,374 --> 00:17:18,107
You coming?
379
00:17:18,109 --> 00:17:19,909
Yeah, just give me a minute.
380
00:17:19,911 --> 00:17:21,144
Why?
381
00:17:21,146 --> 00:17:24,781
Well, you know how
you're wearing a bathing suit?
382
00:17:24,783 --> 00:17:26,716
Yeah?
383
00:17:26,718 --> 00:17:29,786
I kind of went the other way.
384
00:17:30,955 --> 00:17:33,523
You jackasses just bought
yourselves a hot tub!
385
00:17:42,672 --> 00:17:44,405
What do you think?
386
00:17:44,407 --> 00:17:45,640
It's a nice enough spot.
387
00:17:45,642 --> 00:17:47,875
You know, if I'm going to start
standing up for myself,
388
00:17:47,877 --> 00:17:48,803
this is exactly
the kind of thing...
389
00:17:48,804 --> 00:17:49,575
We're back!
390
00:17:49,599 --> 00:17:51,221
Oh, hi! Hi!
391
00:17:53,383 --> 00:17:54,888
Hello.
392
00:17:54,889 --> 00:17:56,055
How you guys doing?
393
00:17:56,057 --> 00:17:57,223
We're doing good. I think
394
00:17:57,225 --> 00:17:59,025
Sheldon has something he
would like to say to Amy.
395
00:18:03,665 --> 00:18:07,900
I wanted to apologize
for my behavior today. It...
396
00:18:14,742 --> 00:18:18,244
It was unnecessary.
397
00:18:18,246 --> 00:18:21,547
This is warm.
398
00:18:23,184 --> 00:18:28,421
Oh, and also, I am willing to
forego the bathroom schedule.
399
00:18:28,423 --> 00:18:30,690
Oh. Really?
400
00:18:30,692 --> 00:18:32,892
Why does she get that?!
We never got that!
401
00:18:32,894 --> 00:18:34,593
Do you want him back?
402
00:18:34,595 --> 00:18:36,696
I'm very happy for you.
403
00:18:37,432 --> 00:18:40,199
Amy, you should know
404
00:18:40,201 --> 00:18:42,568
I was never really interested
in seeing other women.
405
00:18:42,570 --> 00:18:46,272
And to prove how
serious I am about us,
406
00:18:46,274 --> 00:18:50,009
I'm willing to take our
relationship to the next level.
407
00:18:51,312 --> 00:18:53,512
Amy Farrah Fowler,
408
00:18:53,514 --> 00:18:56,649
will you share
this toothbrush holder with me?
409
00:18:59,387 --> 00:19:01,554
I would love to.
410
00:19:05,760 --> 00:19:07,727
Did we really
411
00:19:07,729 --> 00:19:10,429
need to be
here for this?
412
00:19:10,431 --> 00:19:13,599
Call me crazy,
but I found it moving.
413
00:19:17,173 --> 00:19:23,973
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man