1
00:00:04,862 --> 00:00:07,896
Wind power, water power, coal power.

2
00:00:07,898 --> 00:00:11,124
How great would it be
if you could harness the power

3
00:00:11,149 --> 00:00:12,381
of a young man in love?

4
00:00:15,120 --> 00:00:17,386
Can't talk. Going to see April.
I'm in love!

5
00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:21,156
Mm, you know, one good thing
about being saddled

6
00:00:21,158 --> 00:00:22,851
with the worst dorm on campus...

7
00:00:22,853 --> 00:00:24,629
You really appreciate the outside.

8
00:00:24,995 --> 00:00:26,294
Keep spinning it, girlfriend.

9
00:00:26,296 --> 00:00:27,888
Can you check my hair for mouse poop?

10
00:00:27,890 --> 00:00:29,377
Hey. Is that...

11
00:00:29,402 --> 00:00:30,999
Don't let the Morley Safer
School of Journalism

12
00:00:31,001 --> 00:00:34,736
turn into the Home Depot
School of Journalism!

13
00:00:34,738 --> 00:00:36,337
Oh, hi, hon.

14
00:00:36,339 --> 00:00:37,470
Ah.

15
00:00:38,107 --> 00:00:40,637
- You want to go say hi?
- That's okay.

16
00:00:40,639 --> 00:00:41,675
He doesn't know it,

17
00:00:41,677 --> 00:00:43,477
but I'm actually kind of
protesting him right now.

18
00:00:43,479 --> 00:00:46,013
Last night, he made the delivery
guy take back the pizza

19
00:00:46,015 --> 00:00:48,749
because he didn't like
where the cheese was sourced.

20
00:00:50,419 --> 00:00:51,952
Professor Balio?

21
00:00:51,954 --> 00:00:53,420
Hi. Sue Heck.

22
00:00:53,422 --> 00:00:55,121
I just wanted to introduce myself

23
00:00:55,123 --> 00:00:56,355
on the first day of class.

24
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,724
College can be so impersonal.

25
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:01,594
I just wanted to say
I'm very excited to be here.

26
00:01:01,596 --> 00:01:04,430
Or am I here?

27
00:01:04,432 --> 00:01:05,867
Philosophy joke.

28
00:01:05,869 --> 00:01:08,268
I'm sorry. Did you say Sue Heck?

29
00:01:08,270 --> 00:01:09,969
Are you sure you're in the right class?

30
00:01:09,971 --> 00:01:12,171
I-I don't see you on my list.

31
00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:14,639
You know what?
I would be shocked if you did.

32
00:01:14,641 --> 00:01:16,308
No prob. Happens all the time.

33
00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,476
I get dropped from lists
or people don't remember me

34
00:01:18,478 --> 00:01:19,878
or they think I'm someone else.

35
00:01:19,880 --> 00:01:21,180
You'll see.

36
00:01:22,316 --> 00:01:24,016
Sherpa's home.

37
00:01:24,018 --> 00:01:26,718
All right.

38
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:30,421
Construction paper,
thermos, electrical tape,

39
00:01:30,423 --> 00:01:34,358
washer fluid, dog treats, people treats.

40
00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,561
Picked your medicine,
and chicken sub, no pickles.

41
00:01:37,563 --> 00:01:39,230
I know, they don't have
the seeded bun anymore,

42
00:01:39,232 --> 00:01:40,731
so they gave it to you on wheat.

43
00:01:40,733 --> 00:01:42,967
I am done. My day is over.

44
00:01:42,969 --> 00:01:44,202
Goodbye.

45
00:01:47,039 --> 00:01:49,072
Uh, I wouldn't take that off just yet.

46
00:01:49,074 --> 00:01:50,307
Tiny problem.

47
00:01:50,309 --> 00:01:52,775
You brought me pills
instead of my usual medicine.

48
00:01:52,777 --> 00:01:54,410
Sadly, I cannot swallow pills.

49
00:01:54,412 --> 00:01:56,279
Well, sadly, I will not be going back.

50
00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:57,714
You're in high school now.

51
00:01:57,716 --> 00:02:00,217
I'm not gonna get you a razor
and the New York Review of Books

52
00:02:00,219 --> 00:02:02,985
and then buy you raspberry-flavored
squirty medicine.

53
00:02:02,987 --> 00:02:04,586
Look, I'm more than flexible.

54
00:02:04,588 --> 00:02:06,388
I'd prefer the teddy bear shot glass,

55
00:02:06,390 --> 00:02:09,124
but I'm more than willing to
accept the plain plastic syringe

56
00:02:09,126 --> 00:02:11,060
if it's slightly warmed
in the microwave.

57
00:02:11,062 --> 00:02:12,527
Sorry. Pills are what we got.

58
00:02:12,529 --> 00:02:14,596
If you want your ear infection
to get better,

59
00:02:14,598 --> 00:02:15,764
you got to take a pill.

60
00:02:15,766 --> 00:02:17,967
Remember how scared you were
of Scotch tape?

61
00:02:17,969 --> 00:02:19,934
And now you can be
in the same room with it.

62
00:02:19,936 --> 00:02:21,669
Wow. Are you seriously telling me

63
00:02:21,671 --> 00:02:23,537
that you're unwilling to go back out

64
00:02:23,539 --> 00:02:26,407
and get your son the medicine
in the form that he requires?

65
00:02:34,784 --> 00:02:36,428
Oh, damn!

66
00:02:45,060 --> 00:02:47,928
Not cool, bro. Not cool.

67
00:02:47,930 --> 00:02:50,597
So you fell asleep in one town
and woke up in another.

68
00:02:50,599 --> 00:02:51,865
It's not a problem, dude.

69
00:02:51,867 --> 00:02:53,800
That's an awesome college story.

70
00:02:53,802 --> 00:02:55,834
You know what else
is an awesome college story?

71
00:02:55,836 --> 00:02:57,103
Me graduating college.

72
00:02:57,105 --> 00:02:58,871
I said I was sorry, all right?

73
00:02:58,873 --> 00:03:01,640
Look, I had to see her.
We were together all summer.

74
00:03:01,642 --> 00:03:03,842
Her eyes are the color of a lake, dude.

75
00:03:03,844 --> 00:03:05,912
A lake! Would you just relax?

76
00:03:05,914 --> 00:03:07,479
I'm gonna get you to your first class.

77
00:03:07,481 --> 00:03:09,348
Nothing happens
in the first 15 minutes, anyway.

78
00:03:09,350 --> 00:03:10,616
It's just when all the dorky kids

79
00:03:10,618 --> 00:03:11,983
introduce themselves to the professors.

80
00:03:11,985 --> 00:03:14,286
So, I was introducing myself
to my professors,

81
00:03:14,288 --> 00:03:16,388
and I think there's been
a little mix-up.

82
00:03:16,390 --> 00:03:18,924
See, none of them seem
to have me on their rosters.

83
00:03:18,926 --> 00:03:21,826
Well, let's see if we can't get to
the bottom of this mystery, huh?

84
00:03:21,828 --> 00:03:22,627
Name?

85
00:03:22,629 --> 00:03:23,929
Sue Sue Heck.

86
00:03:23,931 --> 00:03:25,397
Well, okay.

87
00:03:25,399 --> 00:03:28,065
So, did you have a nice summer?

88
00:03:28,067 --> 00:03:29,833
Oh, my God. It was a-ma-zing.

89
00:03:29,835 --> 00:03:31,568
I worked at Dollywood.

90
00:03:31,570 --> 00:03:33,570
Girl in the Well
for 14 1/2 performances.

91
00:03:33,572 --> 00:03:36,240
Well, that sounds like fun.

92
00:03:36,242 --> 00:03:37,341
Huh. I'll be darned.

93
00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:38,475
What?

94
00:03:38,477 --> 00:03:40,759
It says you never signed up
for any classes.

95
00:03:40,761 --> 00:03:41,961
So, tell me.

96
00:03:41,963 --> 00:03:44,714
Is that Dolly Parton as nice
as they say she is?

97
00:03:44,716 --> 00:03:47,317
You know, she seems very down-to-earth.

98
00:03:47,319 --> 00:03:49,252
Wait, what? No classes?

99
00:03:49,254 --> 00:03:51,754
But I signed up for them
right when the lists went up...

100
00:03:51,756 --> 00:03:53,122
2:00 a.m. July 15th.

101
00:03:53,124 --> 00:03:54,991
Oh! Fanny hold the phone!

102
00:03:54,993 --> 00:03:56,125
You're right.

103
00:03:56,127 --> 00:03:58,361
You definitely did sign up
for those classes.

104
00:03:58,363 --> 00:03:59,895
Phew!

105
00:03:59,897 --> 00:04:01,730
Yeah, but then they got dropped
by the system

106
00:04:01,732 --> 00:04:03,398
for nonpayment of tuition.

107
00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,068
You know, I think my cousin
went to Dollywood once.

108
00:04:06,070 --> 00:04:07,902
Or was it Nashville she went to?

109
00:04:07,904 --> 00:04:10,238
No, no, no, no, no.
Nonpayment of tuition?

110
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,240
No, no. I don't have to pay tuition.

111
00:04:12,242 --> 00:04:13,575
I'm on financial aid.

112
00:04:13,577 --> 00:04:15,310
Look it up. You'll see.
I have financial aid.

113
00:04:15,312 --> 00:04:16,811
Oh! There you go.

114
00:04:16,813 --> 00:04:19,546
It says that your financial aid
got rescinded

115
00:04:19,548 --> 00:04:21,548
because you failed to renew it.

116
00:04:21,550 --> 00:04:22,783
Tuscaloosa.

117
00:04:22,785 --> 00:04:24,618
No, no, no, no, no.
I didn't have to renew it.

118
00:04:24,620 --> 00:04:26,087
I have the four-year package.

119
00:04:26,089 --> 00:04:27,488
It came in this huge envelope.

120
00:04:27,490 --> 00:04:29,457
We had to use six stamps
to mail it back.

121
00:04:29,459 --> 00:04:31,359
We were poor enough for four years.

122
00:04:31,361 --> 00:04:32,693
Yeah.

123
00:04:32,695 --> 00:04:34,928
But even though you got it
for four years,

124
00:04:34,930 --> 00:04:36,762
you still got to renew it every year.

125
00:04:36,764 --> 00:04:38,398
You know, we send out letters

126
00:04:38,400 --> 00:04:40,400
and you should have gotten an e-mail.

127
00:04:40,402 --> 00:04:44,371
And there's the posters
with Lou the Renew Raccoon.

128
00:04:44,373 --> 00:04:46,239
See, that's not even a good mascot.

129
00:04:46,241 --> 00:04:48,908
Raccoons are hardly examples
of responsible behavior.

130
00:04:48,910 --> 00:04:50,743
They're the bandits of the forest!

131
00:04:50,745 --> 00:04:52,745
Okay. Fine.

132
00:04:52,747 --> 00:04:54,646
Now we know. Let's just renew it then.

133
00:04:54,648 --> 00:04:56,348
Let's just renew it right now.

134
00:04:56,350 --> 00:04:58,950
Oh, yeah. Wouldn't that be great?

135
00:04:58,952 --> 00:05:00,752
But that deadline has passed.

136
00:05:00,754 --> 00:05:01,786
But don't worry.

137
00:05:01,788 --> 00:05:03,422
There's still one thing you can do

138
00:05:03,424 --> 00:05:05,224
to reinstate those dropped classes.

139
00:05:05,226 --> 00:05:06,691
Okay, great. Phew!

140
00:05:06,693 --> 00:05:08,560
Whatever it is, whatever it is,
let's just do it right now.

141
00:05:08,562 --> 00:05:12,096
You just need to write a check
for the whole year's tuition.

142
00:05:14,167 --> 00:05:16,534
It's huge!

143
00:05:16,536 --> 00:05:17,968
It's a normal-sized pill.

144
00:05:17,970 --> 00:05:19,370
Now, come on. Ready? Go.

145
00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,477
What's the matter with you?
Did I tell you to chew it?

146
00:05:27,479 --> 00:05:30,247
You can't chew those.
You got to take them with water.

147
00:05:30,249 --> 00:05:31,448
Come on.

148
00:05:31,450 --> 00:05:34,284
You swallowed seven LEGOs...
that I know of.

149
00:05:34,286 --> 00:05:35,985
It's no different than swallowing food.

150
00:05:35,987 --> 00:05:37,354
Here, look.

151
00:05:40,992 --> 00:05:42,320
See? Nothing to it.

152
00:05:42,322 --> 00:05:43,293
Now, come on. Let's get it done.

153
00:05:43,295 --> 00:05:44,427
You made me waste an M&M.

154
00:05:51,829 --> 00:05:52,929
Did I do it?

155
00:05:54,076 --> 00:05:56,343
Brick, people your age
used to be blacksmiths.

156
00:05:56,345 --> 00:05:59,045
They handled hot iron.
You can swallow a little pill.

157
00:05:59,047 --> 00:06:00,513
They also died at 14.

158
00:06:00,515 --> 00:06:02,714
Just like you're gonna do
if you don't take the damn pill!

159
00:06:02,716 --> 00:06:04,216
Now, come on. You're overthinking it.

160
00:06:04,218 --> 00:06:07,586
Just relax. Okay?

161
00:06:07,588 --> 00:06:10,113
Put the pill on your tongue
and just let it sit there.

162
00:06:11,144 --> 00:06:12,824
Now take a sip of water.

163
00:06:15,262 --> 00:06:16,862
All right. Now just hold it there.

164
00:06:16,864 --> 00:06:19,030
Imagine that it's a river,

165
00:06:19,032 --> 00:06:21,732
and the pill is a little raft.

166
00:06:21,734 --> 00:06:25,269
And you're just serenely floating do...

167
00:06:25,271 --> 00:06:27,372
Swallow it, swallow
it, swallow it, swallow it.

168
00:06:27,374 --> 00:06:28,706
Ow! Br...

169
00:06:30,977 --> 00:06:33,577
Mom! Dad! Help!

170
00:06:33,579 --> 00:06:35,578
Sue! What's the matter? Are you okay?

171
00:06:35,580 --> 00:06:36,713
What's going on?

172
00:06:38,117 --> 00:06:39,316
Whoa, whoa. Slow down.

173
00:06:39,318 --> 00:06:40,884
Sentences, Sue. Whole sentences.

174
00:06:40,886 --> 00:06:41,951
East Indy kicked me out!

175
00:06:41,953 --> 00:06:44,321
I'm not in college anymore!

176
00:06:49,470 --> 00:06:50,510
Wait, wait, wait, wait.

177
00:06:50,512 --> 00:06:51,951
Did you tell them
you have it for four years?

178
00:06:51,953 --> 00:06:52,986
Did you mention the big envelope?

179
00:06:52,988 --> 00:06:54,767
Did you tell them how poor we are?

180
00:06:54,794 --> 00:06:55,893
Yes, yes, yes!
I even showed them a picture

181
00:06:55,895 --> 00:06:57,286
of our family room
I had saved on my phone,

182
00:06:57,287 --> 00:06:58,347
but it didn't help.

183
00:06:58,400 --> 00:06:59,766
I made a mistake,
and I missed the deadline,

184
00:06:59,769 --> 00:07:01,202
and I didn't renew it,
and then it's all gone!

185
00:07:01,204 --> 00:07:02,725
It's all gone!

186
00:07:02,727 --> 00:07:04,381
What? No! They can't do that!

187
00:07:04,429 --> 00:07:05,595
Well, they did!

188
00:07:05,597 --> 00:07:07,231
Okay, hold on. Calm down, everyone.

189
00:07:07,232 --> 00:07:08,363
When was the deadline?

190
00:07:09,073 --> 00:07:09,799
March.

191
00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:10,966
- March?!
- March?!

192
00:07:12,102 --> 00:07:13,835
I was so happy then.

193
00:07:13,837 --> 00:07:15,470
And now I'll never see Lexie again,

194
00:07:15,472 --> 00:07:17,806
and I will never paint my face
for a Dragons game,

195
00:07:17,808 --> 00:07:20,242
and I'll never put a couch
on the lawn in the spring...

196
00:07:20,244 --> 00:07:23,011
Not that I ever did that, but that's
something I imagined myself doing!

197
00:07:23,013 --> 00:07:24,412
Wow, that's really bad.

198
00:07:24,414 --> 00:07:25,946
You know, this probably
isn't a good time

199
00:07:25,948 --> 00:07:27,214
for me to be swallowing a pill.

200
00:07:27,216 --> 00:07:28,749
I don't want to add
to the family stress.

201
00:07:28,751 --> 00:07:29,650
Brick!

202
00:07:31,387 --> 00:07:32,920
How the hell did this happen?

203
00:07:32,922 --> 00:07:35,256
It's my fault. It is all my fault.

204
00:07:35,258 --> 00:07:37,024
I kind of remember getting an e-mail

205
00:07:37,026 --> 00:07:38,893
with a lot of words in it like "fiscal"

206
00:07:38,895 --> 00:07:41,795
and "pursuant to" and "subsidies"!

207
00:07:41,797 --> 00:07:44,964
Yeah, well, "pursuant to"
the situation, we are screwed!

208
00:07:44,966 --> 00:07:46,800
Why didn't you send it to us?

209
00:07:46,802 --> 00:07:49,002
You said not to forward you
so much stuff!

210
00:07:49,004 --> 00:07:51,805
Yeah, I was talking about the daily
soup choices at the dining hall,

211
00:07:51,807 --> 00:07:54,473
not critical financial information!

212
00:07:54,475 --> 00:07:56,075
Well, I thought
it was just for our records.

213
00:07:56,077 --> 00:07:57,743
I didn't realize
I had to do anything with it!

214
00:07:57,745 --> 00:07:58,778
"For our records"?

215
00:07:58,780 --> 00:07:59,978
You know we don't have any records!

216
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:01,213
You want to see our records?

217
00:08:01,215 --> 00:08:02,514
Here! Here they are!

218
00:08:02,516 --> 00:08:04,817
You know, there is blood
on your hands, too.

219
00:08:04,819 --> 00:08:05,984
You're the parents.

220
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,552
You're supposed to know
about this stuff.

221
00:08:07,554 --> 00:08:09,254
It's not our responsibility, Sue!

222
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,522
They sent this stuff to you

223
00:08:10,524 --> 00:08:12,457
because they assumed you were an adult!

224
00:08:12,459 --> 00:08:14,126
Well, that's where the mistake happened

225
00:08:14,128 --> 00:08:15,893
because I am not an adult!

226
00:08:15,895 --> 00:08:17,628
I still play checkers with Woofy Dog.

227
00:08:17,630 --> 00:08:19,130
And I lose!

228
00:08:19,132 --> 00:08:21,432
See, Brick, this is why you got
to learn to swallow a pill.

229
00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,935
Everyone has to learn
to grow the hell up right now!

230
00:08:23,937 --> 00:08:25,903
Calm down.
Losing it doesn't help anybody.

231
00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:27,671
I think we just have to go up there,

232
00:08:27,673 --> 00:08:29,974
talk to the bursar, and
straighten out this whole mess.

233
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,075
Your dad's right.

234
00:08:31,077 --> 00:08:33,009
I mean, we'll go nuts on 'em
if we have to.

235
00:08:33,011 --> 00:08:34,911
We'll be the mayors of Crazytown.

236
00:08:34,913 --> 00:08:36,646
Oh, and I know
the hostess at Applebee's.

237
00:08:36,648 --> 00:08:38,181
Her second cousin is a Congressman.

238
00:08:38,183 --> 00:08:39,716
Don't think I won't play that card.

239
00:08:39,718 --> 00:08:41,484
'Cause I will burn that place down.

240
00:08:41,486 --> 00:08:44,087
Because we are strong and
we are Americans, and they...

241
00:08:44,089 --> 00:08:45,322
Yeah, you're staying home.

242
00:08:45,324 --> 00:08:46,823
I think it's smarter if I go down there,

243
00:08:46,825 --> 00:08:48,825
calmly explain the situation.

244
00:08:48,827 --> 00:08:49,959
So she missed the deadline.

245
00:08:49,961 --> 00:08:51,660
There's got to be
some kind of grace period.

246
00:08:51,662 --> 00:08:52,728
Grace period!

247
00:08:52,730 --> 00:08:54,163
Yes. Yes, yes!

248
00:08:54,165 --> 00:08:55,831
There will be a grace period,

249
00:08:55,833 --> 00:08:57,599
and grace will be bestowed upon me.

250
00:08:57,601 --> 00:08:59,534
See, you know this
because you're the dad

251
00:08:59,536 --> 00:09:01,904
and you know about grace periods
and you can make it right.

252
00:09:01,906 --> 00:09:04,039
Thank you, Daddy! Thank you so much!

253
00:09:14,851 --> 00:09:17,051
What are you doing?

254
00:09:17,053 --> 00:09:18,619
Oh. Hey, Axl.

255
00:09:18,621 --> 00:09:20,955
Uh, Kenny and I were just
doing a little safety check

256
00:09:20,957 --> 00:09:23,291
- on the 'Bago.
- Safety check?

257
00:09:23,293 --> 00:09:25,259
Weren't you the guy who said,
"Brakes are for sissies"?

258
00:09:25,261 --> 00:09:27,961
Yeah, well, I just noticed this
thing has really been acting up.

259
00:09:27,963 --> 00:09:31,365
Like yesterday, it rudely
drove itself to Orson again

260
00:09:31,367 --> 00:09:32,933
without telling anybody.

261
00:09:32,935 --> 00:09:35,068
Well, maybe it had to go there

262
00:09:35,070 --> 00:09:38,538
because it has a girlfriend
whose hair smells like lemons.

263
00:09:38,540 --> 00:09:40,007
Lemons!

264
00:09:40,009 --> 00:09:42,141
Well, you know, I'm starting
to think that this 'Bago

265
00:09:42,143 --> 00:09:43,442
is whipped.

266
00:09:43,444 --> 00:09:44,476
Well, you know what I think?

267
00:09:44,478 --> 00:09:46,678
I think you are a selfish, little man.

268
00:09:46,680 --> 00:09:47,813
You know what? I'm done with you.

269
00:09:47,815 --> 00:09:48,847
That's it!

270
00:09:48,849 --> 00:09:50,182
Kenny and I are freezing you out.

271
00:09:50,184 --> 00:09:51,918
Kenny, stop talking. Oh, that is low.

272
00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,219
Fine, I'm freezing you out, too.

273
00:09:53,221 --> 00:09:54,887
You can't freeze me out.
I froze you out first.

274
00:09:54,889 --> 00:09:56,389
Can't even hear you. You're frozen out.

275
00:09:56,391 --> 00:09:58,123
Freeze back in. You suck. Freeze out.

276
00:09:58,125 --> 00:09:59,124
Freeze in. You're a jerk!

277
00:09:59,126 --> 00:10:00,225
Freeze back out. Freeze back in.

278
00:10:00,227 --> 00:10:01,459
Maybe I'll find another place to live.

279
00:10:01,461 --> 00:10:02,560
Freeze back out. Freeze back in.

280
00:10:02,562 --> 00:10:03,494
Maybe I don't even want
to live with you.

281
00:10:03,496 --> 00:10:04,262
Freeze back out.

282
00:10:04,264 --> 00:10:05,330
Freeze back in. Good.

283
00:10:05,332 --> 00:10:06,898
Freeze out. Secret bonus freeze in.

284
00:10:06,900 --> 00:10:08,300
And your hair's not as great
as you think it is.

285
00:10:08,302 --> 00:10:09,401
- Freeze back out.
- Freeze in.

286
00:10:10,870 --> 00:10:12,003
Freeze back out.

287
00:10:14,474 --> 00:10:16,440
I got two hours to see April.

288
00:10:16,442 --> 00:10:19,876
I'm not gonna waste it having
a childish argument with you!

289
00:10:21,580 --> 00:10:24,014
Really, Sue?

290
00:10:24,016 --> 00:10:25,715
Ugh. I'm sorry.

291
00:10:25,717 --> 00:10:28,085
I mean, I sometimes look down when walk.

292
00:10:28,087 --> 00:10:29,253
I-I don't want to trip,

293
00:10:29,255 --> 00:10:31,388
and also, I'm always looking
for lucky pennies.

294
00:10:31,390 --> 00:10:33,589
Well, if you find 20,000 bucks
worth, let me know.

295
00:10:33,591 --> 00:10:34,991
Wait, I got to poop again.

296
00:10:34,993 --> 00:10:37,994
Oh, come on, Sue.
We already stopped twice.

297
00:10:37,996 --> 00:10:39,829
I'm sorry. I'm just nervous.

298
00:10:39,831 --> 00:10:41,331
What if she says no?

299
00:10:41,333 --> 00:10:42,498
That's not gonna happen.

300
00:10:42,500 --> 00:10:44,363
'Cause we're gonna get you
back in school.

301
00:10:45,443 --> 00:10:46,538
Now, look.

302
00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:48,826
When we get in there, just as a warning,

303
00:10:48,829 --> 00:10:51,233
you may see me do some things
you've never seen before.

304
00:10:52,241 --> 00:10:53,752
Things I'm not proud of.

305
00:10:53,866 --> 00:10:55,966
Hi! Ms. Teegarden, is it?

306
00:10:55,968 --> 00:10:57,734
Teegarden. That's a pretty name.

307
00:10:57,736 --> 00:10:59,670
And who... Oh! Who's the cute kitty?

308
00:10:59,672 --> 00:11:02,005
She's a little sweetie, isn't she?

309
00:11:02,007 --> 00:11:04,074
Mr. Heck. How can I help you?

310
00:11:04,076 --> 00:11:05,776
Well, first of all, let me thank you

311
00:11:05,778 --> 00:11:07,610
for taking time
out of your busy schedule.

312
00:11:07,612 --> 00:11:09,279
I know you've got a lot on your plate.

313
00:11:09,281 --> 00:11:11,347
Okay, we have a little situation here.

314
00:11:11,349 --> 00:11:13,216
My wife's a little upset with me.

315
00:11:13,218 --> 00:11:16,319
See, our daughter forgot to fill
out her financial aid package.

316
00:11:16,321 --> 00:11:17,687
Just a small thing.

317
00:11:17,689 --> 00:11:19,389
But now they're telling her
that she won't be in school,

318
00:11:19,391 --> 00:11:20,756
and she really wants to go to school

319
00:11:20,758 --> 00:11:22,392
because school is important and...

320
00:11:22,394 --> 00:11:24,359
Look who I'm talking to.
You're an educator.

321
00:11:24,361 --> 00:11:25,794
I don't have to tell you that.

322
00:11:25,796 --> 00:11:28,430
So, if you could just see your
way clear to reinstate that aid,

323
00:11:28,432 --> 00:11:30,699
well, that'd go a long way to
get me out of the old doghouse

324
00:11:30,701 --> 00:11:31,800
with the old wife.

325
00:11:31,802 --> 00:11:33,268
Not that she's old. She's kind of old.

326
00:11:33,270 --> 00:11:34,603
Oh, yeah, I'm sorry.

327
00:11:34,605 --> 00:11:36,538
I appreciate your plight,

328
00:11:36,540 --> 00:11:38,349
but unfortunately,
there's nothing I can do.

329
00:11:38,351 --> 00:11:41,075
Unless you'd like to pay
the full tuition now.

330
00:11:41,077 --> 00:11:42,610
Oh, well, I'd like to,

331
00:11:42,612 --> 00:11:45,646
but I'm afraid that's not really
a possibility for us right now.

332
00:11:45,648 --> 00:11:47,114
You want to see a picture
of our family room?

333
00:11:47,116 --> 00:11:49,149
No, see, we're not asking
for anything extra.

334
00:11:49,151 --> 00:11:50,484
We only take as many ketchup packets

335
00:11:50,486 --> 00:11:51,985
as the drive-thru gives us.

336
00:11:51,987 --> 00:11:53,987
We're... We're just asking
for what we already had.

337
00:11:53,989 --> 00:11:55,055
See?

338
00:11:55,057 --> 00:11:58,326
There must be some kind
of wiggle room here.

339
00:11:58,960 --> 00:12:02,995
Mr. Heck, I did not get
to be East Indiana State's

340
00:12:02,997 --> 00:12:06,065
first woman bursar by fudging the rules.

341
00:12:06,067 --> 00:12:08,000
F-First woman bursar, huh?

342
00:12:08,403 --> 00:12:10,370
Funny coincidence...

343
00:12:10,372 --> 00:12:13,005
Sue here always kind of
wanted to be a bursar!

344
00:12:13,299 --> 00:12:15,407
Oh! Oh, yeah.

345
00:12:15,409 --> 00:12:17,843
Oh, growing up, I used to play bursar

346
00:12:17,845 --> 00:12:20,679
with my friends
in the basement all the time.

347
00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:21,714
Hoo-hoo.

348
00:12:21,716 --> 00:12:23,682
Of course, I never withheld funds.

349
00:12:23,684 --> 00:12:25,551
I was all about the allotting.

350
00:12:25,553 --> 00:12:28,820
Look, the truth is, it's not up to me.

351
00:12:28,822 --> 00:12:30,289
The state FAFSA deadlines

352
00:12:30,291 --> 00:12:32,590
are set by the Department of Education,

353
00:12:32,592 --> 00:12:34,212
and we have no control over them.

354
00:12:34,628 --> 00:12:36,327
I'm afraid the matter is closed.

355
00:12:36,329 --> 00:12:37,362
Ye...

356
00:12:37,364 --> 00:12:39,163
What if it were your daughter?

357
00:12:39,165 --> 00:12:40,665
Here. You be me aa-and I'll be you.

358
00:12:40,667 --> 00:12:42,133
Real quick. Let's change places.

359
00:12:42,135 --> 00:12:44,835
I'm the bursar, and this is my picture.

360
00:12:44,837 --> 00:12:47,071
"Hmm. I sure understand your dilemma.

361
00:12:47,073 --> 00:12:48,938
Hmm, let me think about that.

362
00:12:48,940 --> 00:12:50,240
I'm gonna find a way."

363
00:12:50,242 --> 00:12:52,743
But you are not the bursar. I am.

364
00:12:52,745 --> 00:12:54,278
And the answer is no.

365
00:12:54,280 --> 00:12:56,012
But if you were sitting
in this position,

366
00:12:56,014 --> 00:12:57,381
I think you would see it.

367
00:12:57,383 --> 00:12:58,382
You've come to me.

368
00:12:58,384 --> 00:12:59,516
I'm the bursar. This is my cat.

369
00:12:59,518 --> 00:13:02,719
"I'm gonna help you
'cause what is a bursar

370
00:13:02,721 --> 00:13:07,022
besides someone who sees
beyond the bounds of numbers."

371
00:13:07,024 --> 00:13:10,459
Okay, I'm gonna have to ask you
not to touch my cat picture.

372
00:13:10,461 --> 00:13:11,761
Look, my daughter made a mistake,

373
00:13:11,763 --> 00:13:13,228
and sometimes when you make a mistake,

374
00:13:13,230 --> 00:13:17,800
someone... can step in...
a kind providence,

375
00:13:17,802 --> 00:13:20,936
a-a knight, a hero, a bursar...

376
00:13:20,938 --> 00:13:22,937
and they can take an action

377
00:13:22,939 --> 00:13:25,500
that changes the course of human events!

378
00:13:26,102 --> 00:13:28,577
Now, what would that feel like?

379
00:13:31,615 --> 00:13:34,849
Dad, ask her about the grace period.

380
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:39,853
Okay. So, what do we do now?
What's our plan "B"?

381
00:13:39,855 --> 00:13:41,154
I don't know, Sue.

382
00:13:41,156 --> 00:13:42,623
Well, there must be something.

383
00:13:42,625 --> 00:13:43,624
Oh, wait!

384
00:13:43,626 --> 00:13:45,158
You never mentioned Mom's friend,

385
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,293
the hostess at Applebee's.

386
00:13:46,295 --> 00:13:47,328
Should we go back in?

387
00:13:47,330 --> 00:13:48,895
No. We're done.

388
00:13:48,897 --> 00:13:50,397
Well, can't we go over her head?

389
00:13:50,399 --> 00:13:51,998
Can't we just keep going over heads

390
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,734
until we get to the head that says yes?

391
00:13:53,736 --> 00:13:55,352
Come on, Dad. What's our next step?

392
00:13:55,354 --> 00:13:57,970
I don't have the next step!
Don't you get it?

393
00:13:57,972 --> 00:13:59,592
You know, we wouldn't be in this mess

394
00:13:59,646 --> 00:14:01,513
if you paid just a little bit
more attention.

395
00:14:01,515 --> 00:14:03,615
I thought a summer in Dollywood
would help you grow up,

396
00:14:03,617 --> 00:14:04,983
but I guess I was wrong.

397
00:14:05,201 --> 00:14:07,119
Why are you yelling at me?

398
00:14:07,121 --> 00:14:08,521
You think I'm not upset?

399
00:14:08,889 --> 00:14:10,922
I'm the one who doesn't
get to go to college.

400
00:14:14,494 --> 00:14:15,753
Look, I'm sorry.

401
00:14:15,861 --> 00:14:17,828
I'm just... frustrated.

402
00:14:17,830 --> 00:14:19,063
I'm the dad.

403
00:14:19,432 --> 00:14:23,033
I'm supposed to know how to fix
these things for you,

404
00:14:23,035 --> 00:14:25,636
and I just don't know how to fix this.

405
00:14:34,925 --> 00:14:36,191
Hmm.

406
00:14:47,004 --> 00:14:48,370
Mmm.

407
00:14:48,372 --> 00:14:50,705
All right, blocking drills.
We're pairing up.

408
00:14:50,707 --> 00:14:51,739
Heck, you're with Hutch.

409
00:14:51,741 --> 00:14:53,374
Krewson, you're gonna be with Donovan.

410
00:14:53,376 --> 00:14:56,043
Uh, excuse me, Coach?
Can I hit with Madman instead?

411
00:14:56,045 --> 00:14:58,412
This isn't a dinner party.
This is football!

412
00:14:58,414 --> 00:14:59,880
You go where I tell you.

413
00:14:59,882 --> 00:15:01,315
Now go! Get your helmets on!

414
00:15:01,317 --> 00:15:02,849
Here we go.

415
00:15:02,851 --> 00:15:04,518
Look alive, people! Here we go!

416
00:15:04,520 --> 00:15:06,653
Line up!

417
00:15:06,655 --> 00:15:09,922
Okay. Watch the leg.

418
00:15:09,924 --> 00:15:11,524
Oh, is that your scooterin' leg?

419
00:15:11,526 --> 00:15:13,893
Hey, I didn't even get
to see April that day,

420
00:15:13,895 --> 00:15:15,728
so I hope you're happy, butthead!

421
00:15:17,132 --> 00:15:19,165
"Butthead"?! You're the butthead!

422
00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,633
You left me in the middle of Orson!

423
00:15:20,635 --> 00:15:22,268
And you tore up the 'Bago!

424
00:15:22,270 --> 00:15:23,702
I tore it up 'cause you're rude!

425
00:15:23,704 --> 00:15:25,804
You got no consideration
for anybody but yourself!

426
00:15:29,076 --> 00:15:30,909
You're just jealous.

427
00:15:30,911 --> 00:15:32,377
"Jealous"? Why would I be jealous?

428
00:15:32,379 --> 00:15:34,479
'Cause I got a girl
with lake eyes and you don't.

429
00:15:35,715 --> 00:15:37,349
Dude, you just don't get it!

430
00:15:37,351 --> 00:15:39,951
You don't want to see me happy!
Why do you hate love?!

431
00:15:39,953 --> 00:15:41,886
You think I hate love? I love love!

432
00:15:41,888 --> 00:15:44,821
I love seeing you in love.
It's beautiful, man!

433
00:15:46,792 --> 00:15:48,359
Then what's your problem?

434
00:15:48,361 --> 00:15:50,627
The problem is, you didn't return
any of my texts this summer,

435
00:15:50,629 --> 00:15:52,430
and I had to hear that
you were in love from Kenny.

436
00:15:52,432 --> 00:15:53,997
It hurt, man. It really hurt.

437
00:15:53,999 --> 00:15:55,332
I'm sorry.

438
00:15:55,334 --> 00:15:57,368
You know I have a hard time
expressing my feelings.

439
00:15:58,704 --> 00:16:00,803
It's just our senior year,
and you're my best friend.

440
00:16:00,805 --> 00:16:02,472
I feel like you just don't care!

441
00:16:02,474 --> 00:16:04,840
I care! I totally care!

442
00:16:04,842 --> 00:16:06,376
Well, then spend more time with me.

443
00:16:06,378 --> 00:16:07,710
Hug a brother once in a while.

444
00:16:07,712 --> 00:16:10,012
You want a hug?
Then just say you want a hug!

445
00:16:10,014 --> 00:16:12,148
I want a hug!

446
00:16:15,987 --> 00:16:18,165
Heck! Hutchinson! I said break it up!

447
00:16:19,022 --> 00:16:20,655
You see that?! Look at these two!

448
00:16:20,657 --> 00:16:21,756
They're animals.

449
00:16:21,758 --> 00:16:23,525
That's the kind of hate I want to see.

450
00:16:26,363 --> 00:16:28,863
Look, if I'm gonna sneak out of
work in the middle of the day,

451
00:16:28,865 --> 00:16:31,433
it better involve
a margarita or a Cinnabon.

452
00:16:31,435 --> 00:16:33,668
Not a sick kid who won't take a pill.

453
00:16:33,670 --> 00:16:35,536
I told the nurse not to call you.

454
00:16:35,538 --> 00:16:36,604
I'm fine.

455
00:16:36,606 --> 00:16:38,172
Besides, with my hearing getting worse,

456
00:16:38,174 --> 00:16:40,408
all my other senses
are getting stronger.

457
00:16:41,511 --> 00:16:43,177
You did have Cinnabon, didn't you?

458
00:16:43,179 --> 00:16:46,180
Okay, that's it.
This pill is going in you.

459
00:16:46,182 --> 00:16:48,649
Right now, you still have
a choice of which entrance.

460
00:16:48,651 --> 00:16:50,918
Listen.

461
00:16:50,920 --> 00:16:53,853
Sometimes you just got to
do things you don't want to do.

462
00:16:53,855 --> 00:16:55,722
That's called being an adult.

463
00:16:55,724 --> 00:16:56,723
I mean, I don't get it.

464
00:16:56,725 --> 00:16:58,258
It's the easiest thing in the world.

465
00:16:58,260 --> 00:16:59,826
Why can't you do it?

466
00:16:59,828 --> 00:17:00,893
I don't know.

467
00:17:00,895 --> 00:17:02,596
Why can't you parallel park?

468
00:17:03,126 --> 00:17:04,848
I can parallel park.

469
00:17:04,850 --> 00:17:05,898
Not really.

470
00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,767
You drive blocks out of your way
just to avoid parallel parking,

471
00:17:08,769 --> 00:17:11,670
which seems like something
an adult should be able to do.

472
00:17:11,672 --> 00:17:13,439
Look.

473
00:17:13,441 --> 00:17:16,008
My dad barked at me when I was
learning to parallel park,

474
00:17:16,010 --> 00:17:17,443
and it was very tense,

475
00:17:17,445 --> 00:17:19,612
and it's something
I never mastered, okay?

476
00:17:19,614 --> 00:17:20,979
I get it.

477
00:17:20,981 --> 00:17:22,981
Just seems like something you
should have gotten over by now.

478
00:17:22,983 --> 00:17:24,216
Why can't you just do it?

479
00:17:25,285 --> 00:17:27,352
Okay. Fine.

480
00:17:27,354 --> 00:17:29,254
Fine. You know what? I'm gonna do it.

481
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:32,490
I'm gonna parallel park and
you're gonna swallow that pill.

482
00:17:32,492 --> 00:17:33,491
But... Hey.

483
00:17:33,493 --> 00:17:35,426
If I'm doing it, you're doing it.

484
00:17:35,428 --> 00:17:37,128
Okay.

485
00:17:37,130 --> 00:17:40,431
Bumper even at the front.

486
00:17:40,433 --> 00:17:44,701
Now gently, gently turn.

487
00:17:44,703 --> 00:17:47,070
Ooh. Hey.

488
00:17:47,072 --> 00:17:49,273
This is pretty good.

489
00:17:50,809 --> 00:17:52,142
Oh, crap.

490
00:17:52,144 --> 00:17:53,243
Hey! I did it!

491
00:17:53,245 --> 00:17:54,411
I swallowed a pill!

492
00:17:54,413 --> 00:17:55,646
I am a man!

493
00:17:55,648 --> 00:17:57,214
Who cares? I dinged
that guy's license plate.

494
00:17:57,216 --> 00:17:58,615
Let's get out of here.

495
00:17:58,617 --> 00:18:00,650
Uh, Mom, I think we just
lost our side mirror.

496
00:18:00,652 --> 00:18:03,786
Don't bark at me! I told you
I wasn't good at this!

497
00:18:07,375 --> 00:18:09,243
I can't believe
this is really happening.

498
00:18:09,245 --> 00:18:10,809
That you're really leaving.

499
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:13,091
What are you gonna do now?

500
00:18:13,093 --> 00:18:15,026
I don't know. Move back home.

501
00:18:15,028 --> 00:18:17,528
Work at Spudsy's. Cry a lot.

502
00:18:17,780 --> 00:18:18,880
This can't be the end.

503
00:18:18,882 --> 00:18:20,547
Did you try calling your lawyer?

504
00:18:20,549 --> 00:18:21,982
What about your parents'
business manager?

505
00:18:21,984 --> 00:18:24,618
Oh, Lexie. I'm gonna miss that.

506
00:18:27,189 --> 00:18:29,523
Ugh. Why is the school e-mailing me?

507
00:18:29,525 --> 00:18:31,625
Don't they know I don't go here anymore?

508
00:18:32,112 --> 00:18:33,494
Wait, what?

509
00:18:33,496 --> 00:18:34,761
Oh, my God.

510
00:18:34,763 --> 00:18:36,763
No. Wait, Lexie.

511
00:18:36,765 --> 00:18:37,863
Can this be right?

512
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,867
"Dear Sue Sue Heck,
We are pleased to inform you...

513
00:18:41,869 --> 00:18:44,770
"...that you have been
reinstated as a student

514
00:18:44,772 --> 00:18:47,640
at East Indiana State
for the current school year."

515
00:18:49,610 --> 00:18:51,710
Oh, my God. Oh, my God!
I'm back in school!

516
00:18:51,712 --> 00:18:53,012
Oh, my God.

517
00:18:53,014 --> 00:18:54,479
What do you think happened?
I don't know.

518
00:18:54,481 --> 00:18:56,048
Maybe they changed their minds.

519
00:18:56,050 --> 00:18:57,815
Maybe because Dad and I were so earnest.

520
00:18:57,817 --> 00:19:00,718
Because earnestness triumphs
over red tape and bureaucracy

521
00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,020
every time.

522
00:19:02,022 --> 00:19:04,022
Because you don't get to be
the first woman bursar

523
00:19:04,024 --> 00:19:07,025
of a major university
without having a heart!

524
00:19:07,027 --> 00:19:09,061
Well, whatever it was, you get to stay!

525
00:19:09,063 --> 00:19:10,929
Yay!

526
00:19:10,931 --> 00:19:12,930
I love my life! I love my college!

527
00:19:12,932 --> 00:19:14,565
I love my room!

528
00:19:17,136 --> 00:19:19,670
We got to get out of this dump!

529
00:19:21,274 --> 00:19:23,807
Mike, I just talked to Sue!
You heard the good news?

530
00:19:23,809 --> 00:19:24,808
I heard.

531
00:19:24,810 --> 00:19:25,809
What happened to your side mirror?

532
00:19:25,811 --> 00:19:27,445
Oh, who cares about that?

533
00:19:27,447 --> 00:19:28,778
Can you believe it?

534
00:19:28,780 --> 00:19:30,580
We were so worried,
we didn't sleep all night,

535
00:19:30,582 --> 00:19:31,647
and then look what happened.

536
00:19:31,649 --> 00:19:32,748
The nightmare is over.

537
00:19:32,750 --> 00:19:34,584
We're back to our regular nightmare.

538
00:19:34,586 --> 00:19:37,287
And I didn't even have to use
my connection at Applebee's.

539
00:19:37,289 --> 00:19:39,556
Yeah. Looks like it all worked out.

540
00:19:41,025 --> 00:19:44,160
Aren't you excited?
Sue's back in school.

541
00:19:44,162 --> 00:19:46,095
Although, I don't understand
why the bursar people

542
00:19:46,097 --> 00:19:47,796
put us through so much hell
when they knew

543
00:19:47,798 --> 00:19:49,864
they were just gonna give us
the financial aid anyway.

544
00:19:51,034 --> 00:19:52,501
They didn't give us financial aid.

545
00:19:52,503 --> 00:19:53,969
What do you mean? They must have.

546
00:19:53,971 --> 00:19:55,337
Then how is Sue back in school?

547
00:19:55,996 --> 00:19:57,507
I paid for it.

548
00:19:57,508 --> 00:19:58,873
With what?

549
00:19:58,875 --> 00:20:00,342
We have like $8 in checking.

550
00:20:00,344 --> 00:20:02,527
We don't even have enough
to buy more checks.

551
00:20:03,577 --> 00:20:06,047
I sold my half of the diaper business.

552
00:20:06,624 --> 00:20:07,825
What?

553
00:20:08,384 --> 00:20:10,251
What do you mean? How?

554
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:13,321
This guy from the baby fair's
been sniffing around

555
00:20:13,323 --> 00:20:15,423
for a long time
trying to buy it from me.

556
00:20:15,425 --> 00:20:20,139
He made a good offer,
so I called Rusty and I took it.

557
00:20:23,298 --> 00:20:25,232
But you worked so hard.

558
00:20:25,234 --> 00:20:26,899
You built that.

559
00:20:30,339 --> 00:20:31,691
It's Sue.

560
00:20:36,644 --> 00:20:37,683
Hmm.

561
00:20:44,952 --> 00:20:48,787
Well, we built one business.

562
00:20:48,789 --> 00:20:50,722
- We can build another one.
- Hmm.

563
00:20:50,724 --> 00:20:53,558
I mean, I have... I have lots
of great ideas.

564
00:20:53,560 --> 00:20:55,393
Like... Like remember crazy straws?

565
00:20:55,395 --> 00:20:58,062
Okay, what if you could have a straw

566
00:20:58,064 --> 00:21:00,565
that allowed you to drink
from across the room?

567
00:21:00,567 --> 00:21:02,933
A Crazy-Crazy-Crazy Straw!

568
00:21:02,935 --> 00:21:04,602
- Mm.
- Ooh, ooh!

569
00:21:04,604 --> 00:21:06,504
How about a belt made of beef jerky?

570
00:21:06,506 --> 00:21:09,674
That would be so great
for camping trips, right?

571
00:21:09,676 --> 00:21:11,708
Oh, and, um, yes...

572
00:21:11,710 --> 00:21:14,278
A breakaway bra so when moms come home

573
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:16,480
and they're tired from work,

574
00:21:16,482 --> 00:21:19,849
they could just...
right down in front of the TV.

575
00:21:21,699 --> 00:21:28,894
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