1
00:00:01,813 --> 00:00:04,030
Okay, I need two volunteers.
2
00:00:04,031 --> 00:00:05,964
Oh, right here, I'm first! Pick me!
3
00:00:06,033 --> 00:00:09,568
Okay, thank you, Mateo. Who else?
4
00:00:09,603 --> 00:00:10,702
Anyone?
5
00:00:10,737 --> 00:00:12,704
[Yawns]
6
00:00:12,739 --> 00:00:13,805
Garrett!
7
00:00:13,874 --> 00:00:15,541
Yeah, I just wanted to say no.
8
00:00:15,576 --> 00:00:16,908
You're all ingrates.
9
00:00:16,944 --> 00:00:18,577
I hope someone sets you all on fire,
10
00:00:18,612 --> 00:00:20,078
and you need a volunteer to put it out.
11
00:00:20,113 --> 00:00:21,580
It's too much for 6:00 a.m., Dina.
12
00:00:21,615 --> 00:00:22,647
I don't think it's enough.
13
00:00:22,716 --> 00:00:24,415
Okay, fine. I'll do it.
14
00:00:24,451 --> 00:00:26,650
Okay, thank you, Jonah.
15
00:00:26,650 --> 00:00:28,350
You and Mateo will be in charge
16
00:00:28,385 --> 00:00:31,475
of our in-store dog adoption today.
17
00:00:31,476 --> 00:00:32,173
[All Gasping]
18
00:00:32,174 --> 00:00:33,142
Yes, that's right.
19
00:00:33,143 --> 00:00:35,476
That volunteer job was desirable.
20
00:00:35,512 --> 00:00:37,087
That was a lesson.
21
00:00:37,088 --> 00:00:41,123
"And lo, the Samaritan,
as he traveled, came to where..."
22
00:00:41,124 --> 00:00:42,423
6:00 a.m., Glenn.
23
00:00:42,459 --> 00:00:43,436
Okay, right.
24
00:00:43,437 --> 00:00:46,471
Anyway, while the rest of you
are having normal, dogless days,
25
00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:50,615
these two selfless heroes
will be in puppy heaven.
26
00:00:50,684 --> 00:00:52,584
I want to be in puppy heaven.
27
00:00:52,619 --> 00:00:53,752
I'll switch if anybody wants.
28
00:00:53,787 --> 00:00:54,920
I don't really care about dogs.
29
00:00:54,955 --> 00:00:56,721
- [Gasps]
- What?
30
00:00:56,757 --> 00:00:58,723
- What did he say?
- I mean, I don't dislike them.
31
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,692
I just, you know, I don't
really have strong feelings
32
00:01:00,727 --> 00:01:02,928
- one way or the other.
- You're a psychopath.
33
00:01:02,963 --> 00:01:04,729
Sociopath, he's a sociopath.
34
00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,431
Is it because they don't like you?
35
00:01:06,466 --> 00:01:10,468
No, no I think it says
something about our priorities
36
00:01:10,537 --> 00:01:12,736
that we spend so much money on pets
37
00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:14,972
when there are literally
millions of children
38
00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:17,641
without adequate nutrition.
39
00:01:17,710 --> 00:01:18,642
I hope you die.
40
00:01:18,711 --> 00:01:21,579
Okay, I need another volunteer.
41
00:01:21,614 --> 00:01:22,780
Me me me me me me me me!
42
00:01:22,815 --> 00:01:24,782
Sandra, thank you.
43
00:01:24,817 --> 00:01:25,916
Come on up.
44
00:01:25,952 --> 00:01:28,452
And I am glad that
you're an animal lover
45
00:01:28,487 --> 00:01:31,538
because we have a large
number of hornets nests
46
00:01:31,539 --> 00:01:33,106
around the perimeter of the store.
47
00:01:33,141 --> 00:01:37,076
That's right, it's not always
good to volunteer.
48
00:01:37,112 --> 00:01:38,990
That was another lesson.
49
00:01:38,990 --> 00:01:41,957
[Upbeat Music]
50
00:01:41,993 --> 00:01:43,825
♪ ♪
51
00:01:43,861 --> 00:01:46,028
No, look, I want the sour
cream and onion chips.
52
00:01:46,063 --> 00:01:48,497
I can't eat the ones
with the ridges on them
53
00:01:48,532 --> 00:01:49,999
because they hurt the top of my mouth!
54
00:01:50,034 --> 00:01:51,867
That's part of the experience, Cheyenne.
55
00:01:51,902 --> 00:01:54,703
I feel like I don't even
know who you are anymore.
56
00:01:54,738 --> 00:01:56,571
Hey hey, what is happening?
57
00:01:56,640 --> 00:01:58,740
I don't even know who Bo is anymore.
58
00:01:58,809 --> 00:02:00,008
- Okay, all right.
- Are you kidding me?
59
00:02:00,043 --> 00:02:01,510
You know that's because
I never get what I want.
60
00:02:01,545 --> 00:02:03,912
All I ever do now is babysit for free!
61
00:02:03,981 --> 00:02:07,849
It's not babysitting
when you're the dad!
62
00:02:07,885 --> 00:02:09,083
- Whoa!
- Hey, guys, chill.
63
00:02:09,152 --> 00:02:10,519
No, come on.
64
00:02:10,554 --> 00:02:13,687
This doesn't have to wind up on YouTube.
65
00:02:13,723 --> 00:02:15,723
Film one of my impressions instead.
66
00:02:15,758 --> 00:02:16,991
Okay, you want to start something now?
67
00:02:17,027 --> 00:02:19,060
- Yeah!
- "Hi, I'm Batman."
68
00:02:19,095 --> 00:02:20,395
That was Batman.
69
00:02:20,430 --> 00:02:23,531
"And now I'm the Joker."
70
00:02:23,566 --> 00:02:25,033
Somebody has to clean all of this up.
71
00:02:25,068 --> 00:02:30,871
"You merely adopted the dark,
I was born in it."
72
00:02:30,907 --> 00:02:34,374
Damn, tight Bane! Respect.
73
00:02:34,410 --> 00:02:35,676
[As Bane] Thank you.
74
00:02:35,711 --> 00:02:38,679
[Pop Music]
75
00:02:38,714 --> 00:02:42,550
♪ ♪
76
00:02:42,585 --> 00:02:44,751
[Puppies Whining]
77
00:02:44,786 --> 00:02:47,054
[Clears Throat]
78
00:02:47,089 --> 00:02:49,756
I know we've always
had this unspoken rivalry.
79
00:02:49,791 --> 00:02:52,263
Not a rivalry, you're just
always mean to me.
80
00:02:52,436 --> 00:02:56,205
And not unspoken, you talk
about it all the time?
81
00:02:56,240 --> 00:02:57,943
Well, anyway, since
we're stuck together,
82
00:02:57,943 --> 00:02:59,376
I figured we could at least be civil.
83
00:02:59,411 --> 00:03:01,878
Okay, somebody needs
to be in charge of the...
84
00:03:01,913 --> 00:03:03,046
I'll do it. I'll do it better.
85
00:03:03,081 --> 00:03:04,580
This guy doesn't even like dogs so.
86
00:03:04,616 --> 00:03:05,915
See, you're even trying to embarrass me
87
00:03:05,951 --> 00:03:07,050
in front of the dog lady.
88
00:03:07,085 --> 00:03:10,319
"Dog lady?" Jonah, she has a name.
89
00:03:13,091 --> 00:03:14,991
- Lydia.
- Lydia.
90
00:03:15,060 --> 00:03:16,726
Really, Lydia?
91
00:03:16,762 --> 00:03:18,227
- Yeah.
- Ouch.
92
00:03:18,263 --> 00:03:21,096
Attention shoppers, are you
thinking of having a baby,
93
00:03:21,132 --> 00:03:22,298
but want to test the waters
94
00:03:22,333 --> 00:03:24,166
with something that's
not the same at all?
95
00:03:24,235 --> 00:03:25,901
Adopt a dog today.
96
00:03:25,936 --> 00:03:28,003
Hey, you forgot to
clock in this morning.
97
00:03:28,072 --> 00:03:31,006
Oh, yeah, I came in behind
Elias and got distracted.
98
00:03:31,075 --> 00:03:32,608
What's going on with his butt?
99
00:03:32,644 --> 00:03:33,743
Make sure to clock in at some point
100
00:03:33,778 --> 00:03:34,843
so we can start paying you.
101
00:03:34,912 --> 00:03:36,178
Oh, hold up. Wait.
102
00:03:36,247 --> 00:03:37,746
I haven't been paid
for the last two hours?
103
00:03:37,782 --> 00:03:39,848
Can't you just adjust the timesheet?
104
00:03:39,917 --> 00:03:41,616
Can. Won't.
105
00:03:41,652 --> 00:03:42,951
Rules are rules.
106
00:03:42,987 --> 00:03:44,119
Are you being serious?
107
00:03:44,155 --> 00:03:45,400
Yeah, I'm being serious,
108
00:03:45,401 --> 00:03:48,435
and "what's up" with Elias's
butt is he started cycling.
109
00:03:48,470 --> 00:03:50,736
Obviously.
110
00:03:51,806 --> 00:03:52,939
Sh...
111
00:03:53,400 --> 00:03:56,167
I feel like all we ever do now is fight.
112
00:03:56,202 --> 00:03:58,035
We used to have so much fun.
113
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,237
We would talk about everything.
114
00:03:59,272 --> 00:04:02,507
Movies, music, politics...
115
00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:05,243
- Politics, really?
- Mm-hmm.
116
00:04:05,278 --> 00:04:07,879
But now, I mean, we're
supposed to get married
117
00:04:07,914 --> 00:04:11,916
in a few months,
and I'm starting to think
118
00:04:11,951 --> 00:04:13,918
maybe we should move that up.
119
00:04:13,953 --> 00:04:16,854
- Wait, what?
- Oh good, a wedding!
120
00:04:16,890 --> 00:04:18,389
Because then we'll be newlyweds
121
00:04:18,424 --> 00:04:19,523
and we won't fight anymore.
122
00:04:19,558 --> 00:04:20,892
Fine by me.
123
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,059
Just get it over with.
124
00:04:22,095 --> 00:04:24,227
Not on Tuesday, though.
I got my DJ class.
125
00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:25,462
I can call my church and see
126
00:04:25,531 --> 00:04:27,097
if they have an opening next week.
127
00:04:27,132 --> 00:04:30,233
Oh, and I get points
in the gift shop for referrals.
128
00:04:30,269 --> 00:04:34,471
- No, Glenn, wait...
- Customer service, thank you.
129
00:04:34,540 --> 00:04:38,241
Guys, getting married is not
gonna solve all these problems.
130
00:04:38,277 --> 00:04:40,110
Yes, there is a honeymoon period...
131
00:04:40,145 --> 00:04:43,079
Honeymoon period. Banging everywhere.
132
00:04:43,115 --> 00:04:44,381
Mmm. Mmm.
133
00:04:44,416 --> 00:04:47,817
Yeah, and all that banging
builds a foundation
134
00:04:47,886 --> 00:04:51,288
of love and trust that lasts forever.
135
00:04:51,323 --> 00:04:53,423
No, marriage is hard.
136
00:04:53,458 --> 00:04:54,593
It's a big deal.
137
00:04:54,594 --> 00:04:56,953
It's gonna be one of the
hardest things you ever do.
138
00:04:56,954 --> 00:04:59,254
It's not something
you just want to rush into.
139
00:04:59,297 --> 00:05:00,274
Okay, hang on.
140
00:05:00,275 --> 00:05:02,841
Do you guys want a black
choir or a white choir?
141
00:05:02,878 --> 00:05:04,878
- Black choir.
- Definitely black choir.
142
00:05:04,913 --> 00:05:06,946
I mean, I'm not really
on board with this whole...
143
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:08,882
Yes, a black choir, of course.
144
00:05:08,917 --> 00:05:11,417
We'll take Lucius and
the Gang, thank you.
145
00:05:12,139 --> 00:05:14,406
All right, I think you guys are all set.
146
00:05:14,457 --> 00:05:16,435
So I'll be back at 6:00 to close down
147
00:05:16,435 --> 00:05:18,469
and take the dogs that don't get
adopted back to the shelter.
148
00:05:18,504 --> 00:05:19,937
Oh, these guys aren't going back.
149
00:05:19,972 --> 00:05:21,472
I'm gonna get them all adopted.
150
00:05:21,507 --> 00:05:25,008
You might as well find new dogs
at the junkyard or wherever.
151
00:05:25,043 --> 00:05:27,811
Honestly, most of them
probably won't get adopted.
152
00:05:27,847 --> 00:05:29,645
But even one life saved
makes it all worth it.
153
00:05:29,681 --> 00:05:31,514
Wait, "one life saved"?
154
00:05:31,549 --> 00:05:33,049
Yeah, we're an open admissions shelter,
155
00:05:33,118 --> 00:05:35,618
meaning we do have to euthanize
based on duration of stay.
156
00:05:35,653 --> 00:05:37,854
So unfortunately, most of these
guys, they're out of time.
157
00:05:37,889 --> 00:05:40,357
- Oh, my God.
- That's terrible.
158
00:05:40,392 --> 00:05:42,625
Oh... oh, God no,
that's not what I meant.
159
00:05:42,660 --> 00:05:43,826
No, no, no.
160
00:05:43,862 --> 00:05:45,862
- Oh, okay.
- You won't have to kill them.
161
00:05:45,897 --> 00:05:47,964
We have a service that comes in.
162
00:05:48,660 --> 00:05:50,326
I'm dating the injection guy.
163
00:05:50,362 --> 00:05:51,628
Yeah, he's great.
164
00:05:51,663 --> 00:05:55,165
He's divorced. Most of
them are at my age, so.
165
00:05:55,200 --> 00:05:56,666
Yeah. Do you sell stamps?
166
00:05:56,701 --> 00:05:58,535
- At the register.
- Yeah, okay.
167
00:05:58,570 --> 00:06:00,736
I'm gonna just... excuse me.
168
00:06:02,229 --> 00:06:03,995
Oh, and dryer sheets, actually?
169
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,332
- Aisle 12.
- 12, 12. Thank you.
170
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:08,567
[Puppies Yipping]
171
00:06:13,564 --> 00:06:15,564
I don't know why they bother
calling it a shelter.
172
00:06:15,565 --> 00:06:19,166
They should just call it
Doggie Death Row.
173
00:06:19,451 --> 00:06:20,918
I don't know why you're so upset.
174
00:06:20,953 --> 00:06:22,947
I thought you'd be
jumping for joy by now.
175
00:06:22,948 --> 00:06:24,915
"Yay! Dead dogs! It's Jonah Christmas!"
176
00:06:24,950 --> 00:06:27,751
Look, we only have until 6:00 p.m.
177
00:06:27,787 --> 00:06:29,286
to get all of these dogs homes.
178
00:06:29,322 --> 00:06:31,455
And the only way that we're
gonna do that is by working to...
179
00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:33,290
We've got to work together.
180
00:06:33,326 --> 00:06:34,858
We got to work together
if we're gonna do this.
181
00:06:34,927 --> 00:06:37,361
- You up for that?
- Yes, it's a great idea.
182
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:38,995
Great, we'll do my plan.
183
00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:44,801
- Just step over the...
- Okay.
184
00:06:46,635 --> 00:06:49,002
Do you ever regret getting
married so young?
185
00:06:49,037 --> 00:06:52,539
Um, no.
186
00:06:52,608 --> 00:06:55,541
I mean, I wouldn't say regret,
187
00:06:55,625 --> 00:07:01,197
but I did miss out on some
experiences and stuff.
188
00:07:01,198 --> 00:07:02,865
Yeah, like threesomes.
189
00:07:02,900 --> 00:07:06,368
- No, I didn't mean...
- Like sex with Italian guys?
190
00:07:06,403 --> 00:07:08,203
More like Nordic.
191
00:07:08,239 --> 00:07:13,466
But I didn't mean sex,
I meant life and dating
192
00:07:13,536 --> 00:07:15,277
and, you know, stuff like that.
193
00:07:15,312 --> 00:07:16,878
Yeah.
194
00:07:16,913 --> 00:07:19,046
Like, how do I know that Bo's the one?
195
00:07:19,082 --> 00:07:21,949
I mean, my friends
all thought I was crazy
196
00:07:21,985 --> 00:07:23,951
to go out with Bo when Cole liked me.
197
00:07:23,987 --> 00:07:25,119
Who's Cole?
198
00:07:25,155 --> 00:07:26,120
This guy at my school.
199
00:07:26,156 --> 00:07:28,055
He's like the anti-Bo.
200
00:07:28,091 --> 00:07:31,993
He's like always reading,
mature, really sweet.
201
00:07:32,061 --> 00:07:34,095
So why did you pick Bo?
202
00:07:34,130 --> 00:07:36,297
Cause Bo's wild.
203
00:07:36,332 --> 00:07:39,300
He used to smash bang-snaps
on his forehead.
204
00:07:39,335 --> 00:07:41,102
Cole would never do that.
205
00:07:41,137 --> 00:07:45,172
He was too busy tutoring or,
you know, doing debate team.
206
00:07:45,240 --> 00:07:46,440
Wow.
207
00:07:46,475 --> 00:07:49,246
This Cole guy sounds kind of great.
208
00:07:49,246 --> 00:07:53,715
I mean, it's nice to kind of
explore your options.
209
00:07:53,750 --> 00:07:57,052
Even though it's probably
too late now, right?
210
00:07:57,088 --> 00:07:58,720
Right.
211
00:07:58,755 --> 00:08:00,021
Right.
212
00:08:00,057 --> 00:08:01,222
Right.
213
00:08:01,257 --> 00:08:03,558
Right.
214
00:08:03,594 --> 00:08:06,194
What are we doing?
215
00:08:06,229 --> 00:08:08,196
Look, Cheyenne,
216
00:08:08,231 --> 00:08:10,765
I just want you to do what's
gonna make you happy.
217
00:08:10,801 --> 00:08:14,769
You know, whether that's being
with a sweet, responsible guy
218
00:08:14,805 --> 00:08:17,205
who likes books and helping people,
219
00:08:17,240 --> 00:08:20,708
or whether that's Bo
who's a wannabe rapper,
220
00:08:20,743 --> 00:08:23,277
who's saving up for a gold tooth.
221
00:08:23,313 --> 00:08:25,779
I trust you to make the right decision.
222
00:08:25,815 --> 00:08:27,215
Thanks, Amy.
223
00:08:27,250 --> 00:08:28,782
You're welcome.
224
00:08:28,818 --> 00:08:31,752
You're so old and wise.
225
00:08:31,787 --> 00:08:33,087
Okay.
226
00:08:35,958 --> 00:08:39,593
44, 43, 42...
227
00:08:39,629 --> 00:08:40,828
What are you doing?
228
00:08:40,896 --> 00:08:42,963
"Employees may take no
longer than 15 minutes
229
00:08:42,999 --> 00:08:43,974
for their lunch break."
230
00:08:43,975 --> 00:08:45,940
I've been timing you
since you walked in.
231
00:08:45,976 --> 00:08:47,799
You got 40 seconds left.
232
00:08:47,800 --> 00:08:49,599
Come on, I needed
to re-tighten my ponytail.
233
00:08:49,635 --> 00:08:51,000
I can't go out there
looking like a slut.
234
00:08:51,036 --> 00:08:53,036
Rules are rules, that's what you said.
235
00:08:53,104 --> 00:08:55,638
Unless you want to go back on that?
236
00:08:55,673 --> 00:09:00,710
35, 34, 33...
237
00:09:00,778 --> 00:09:01,978
32...
238
00:09:02,013 --> 00:09:04,780
Oh, it's so hot. It's burning my mouth.
239
00:09:04,816 --> 00:09:06,615
Less talking, more swallowing.
240
00:09:06,651 --> 00:09:08,283
God, my mouth skin.
241
00:09:08,319 --> 00:09:10,018
Hey, Bo.
242
00:09:10,054 --> 00:09:11,887
Now I don't want to sway you,
243
00:09:11,956 --> 00:09:14,690
but my church is offering
a nuptials package.
244
00:09:14,733 --> 00:09:18,968
It includes a future baptism at
half-price, no blackout dates.
245
00:09:18,996 --> 00:09:19,757
Yeah, I don't know.
246
00:09:19,757 --> 00:09:21,768
Maybe jumping into this
is, like, a mistake.
247
00:09:21,768 --> 00:09:23,067
- Oh.
- It's not like getting married
248
00:09:23,101 --> 00:09:24,734
is gonna suddenly fix everything.
249
00:09:24,769 --> 00:09:26,736
We're still gonna be
fighting all the time,
250
00:09:26,771 --> 00:09:29,872
all cramped up in Cheyenne's
mom's basement with the baby.
251
00:09:29,908 --> 00:09:33,910
Well, you know, maybe
that's the problem.
252
00:09:33,946 --> 00:09:35,745
You're all cooped up.
253
00:09:35,780 --> 00:09:37,780
You're like one of those
chickens in the tiny cages
254
00:09:37,816 --> 00:09:39,715
that can't turn around.
255
00:09:39,751 --> 00:09:42,552
It makes them crazy,
and then they taste different.
256
00:09:42,587 --> 00:09:44,386
The [Bleep] you talking about?
257
00:09:44,422 --> 00:09:47,890
Look, a married couple
needs their own place.
258
00:09:47,926 --> 00:09:51,727
My friend Kathy from church,
she's a real estate lady.
259
00:09:51,763 --> 00:09:55,064
No, wait, Glenn, darn it. It's 2016.
260
00:09:55,099 --> 00:09:56,999
She's a real estate man.
261
00:09:57,068 --> 00:09:59,468
I'm so sorry to hear
that your husband passed.
262
00:09:59,503 --> 00:10:01,437
What was his name?
263
00:10:01,472 --> 00:10:02,904
- Jeremy.
- Jeremy.
264
00:10:02,940 --> 00:10:04,840
And how long ago did he leave us?
265
00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:06,075
Two years ago.
266
00:10:06,110 --> 00:10:08,010
Oh, bless his soul.
267
00:10:08,079 --> 00:10:09,144
Tell me more about him.
268
00:10:09,828 --> 00:10:12,561
He loved camping,
and the outdoors and...
269
00:10:12,597 --> 00:10:13,445
Hey!
270
00:10:13,446 --> 00:10:15,846
Hold on, Mateo, she's in
the middle of a lovely story.
271
00:10:15,914 --> 00:10:18,448
No, I found Jeremy in the
camping section again.
272
00:10:18,484 --> 00:10:20,416
This dog's name is Jeremy?
273
00:10:20,452 --> 00:10:22,586
Yep, little 2-year-old Jeremy.
274
00:10:22,621 --> 00:10:23,653
That's so crazy.
275
00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:26,756
You and I... You don't think...
276
00:10:26,792 --> 00:10:28,592
Jeremy?
277
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:31,760
- Are you in there?
- [Barks]
278
00:10:31,796 --> 00:10:34,663
The carpets were all replaced last year.
279
00:10:34,699 --> 00:10:36,966
And there's a washer/dryer
right behind the kitchen.
280
00:10:37,002 --> 00:10:38,968
Oh, wow.
281
00:10:39,004 --> 00:10:40,503
Oh, yeah.
282
00:10:40,538 --> 00:10:42,771
You know, I was hoping for
one of those double staircases
283
00:10:42,807 --> 00:10:44,107
that meet at the top.
284
00:10:44,142 --> 00:10:46,008
You got any houses with
double staircases, Kathy?
285
00:10:46,043 --> 00:10:48,143
Kind of like a built-in fish tank,
286
00:10:48,178 --> 00:10:49,712
big enough for, like, a little shark?
287
00:10:49,780 --> 00:10:51,814
- Yeah.
- Okay.
288
00:10:51,849 --> 00:10:54,717
But wait, look at this kitchen.
289
00:10:54,785 --> 00:10:56,619
So while you're cooking you could just
290
00:10:56,654 --> 00:11:00,789
put on some Motown and groove on, baby.
291
00:11:00,825 --> 00:11:01,991
Yeah, you know what.
292
00:11:02,026 --> 00:11:03,525
Actually, I'm seeing a lot of
293
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,027
pretty good bang spaces around here.
294
00:11:05,062 --> 00:11:08,630
Got this countertop, this
nice little window zone here,
295
00:11:08,665 --> 00:11:10,865
and what's up, these floors
are like made for it, right?
296
00:11:10,901 --> 00:11:15,003
Yeah, but it's also great for a family.
297
00:11:15,039 --> 00:11:17,739
What do you think?
298
00:11:17,807 --> 00:11:20,742
Throw in that dope brooch,
you've got a deal.
299
00:11:20,810 --> 00:11:22,010
No.
300
00:11:22,045 --> 00:11:24,879
Psych, I don't want
your ugly-ass brooch.
301
00:11:24,915 --> 00:11:26,147
I'll take the place.
302
00:11:26,182 --> 00:11:28,016
Wonderful. Great.
303
00:11:28,051 --> 00:11:29,584
Yes, I'm thrilled.
304
00:11:29,653 --> 00:11:32,854
Glenn, I assume you're cosigning.
305
00:11:32,889 --> 00:11:33,988
Cosigning?
306
00:11:34,024 --> 00:11:36,590
Wait, like I'd be responsible for...
307
00:11:36,659 --> 00:11:38,992
Yes, in case he can't pay
or there's damage.
308
00:11:39,028 --> 00:11:42,063
[Drawer Slamming]
309
00:11:45,334 --> 00:11:47,535
I texted Cole.
310
00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:49,036
- Wow, really?
- Yeah.
311
00:11:49,072 --> 00:11:50,671
And he came over right away.
312
00:11:50,706 --> 00:11:52,272
He's right over there.
313
00:11:52,340 --> 00:11:54,875
Oh, wow, he's cute.
314
00:11:54,910 --> 00:11:56,944
I know, right?
315
00:11:57,012 --> 00:11:58,011
Do you want to meet him?
316
00:11:58,047 --> 00:11:59,613
Sure.
317
00:11:59,682 --> 00:12:02,015
Hey, Cole!
318
00:12:02,051 --> 00:12:04,217
Come over here!
319
00:12:04,252 --> 00:12:06,753
Okay, just be cool.
320
00:12:09,657 --> 00:12:11,657
So Cole, um...
321
00:12:11,658 --> 00:12:14,960
Cheyenne says she knows you from school?
322
00:12:14,996 --> 00:12:16,395
Sophomore English.
323
00:12:16,463 --> 00:12:20,565
Oh, okay, but, so...
324
00:12:20,634 --> 00:12:22,567
- You were her teacher.
- I was her teacher.
325
00:12:22,636 --> 00:12:25,637
- Uh-huh, yeah.
- That's, uh, so...
326
00:12:25,672 --> 00:12:27,372
Don't worry, nothing happened back then.
327
00:12:27,408 --> 00:12:29,974
I read the laws very carefully.
328
00:12:30,010 --> 00:12:31,510
Oh, good.
329
00:12:31,545 --> 00:12:34,212
He's so romantic.
330
00:12:34,247 --> 00:12:36,480
I don't want to make
a big deal out of it,
331
00:12:36,516 --> 00:12:38,917
but these dogs are
actually celebrity dogs.
332
00:12:38,985 --> 00:12:43,354
Oh, this one over here, he was
in a movie with George Clooney.
333
00:12:43,390 --> 00:12:44,923
Oh, cool.
334
00:12:44,991 --> 00:12:47,225
And this one is friends
with John Leguizamo.
335
00:12:49,662 --> 00:12:51,328
I think I'll take the Clooney one.
336
00:12:51,363 --> 00:12:52,530
That's an excellent choice.
337
00:12:52,565 --> 00:12:55,232
Not a Leguizamo fan?
338
00:12:56,669 --> 00:12:58,569
[Exhales]
339
00:12:58,604 --> 00:13:00,003
Move, I gotta pour one out.
340
00:13:00,039 --> 00:13:02,506
[Groans] "Employees are allotted
341
00:13:02,542 --> 00:13:04,542
one bathroom break per shift."
342
00:13:04,577 --> 00:13:06,009
You took one a little earlier.
343
00:13:06,045 --> 00:13:07,411
I know 'cause I wrote it down.
344
00:13:07,446 --> 00:13:09,212
That was a false alarm. I barely went.
345
00:13:09,248 --> 00:13:10,680
We're talking less than a half an ounce.
346
00:13:10,715 --> 00:13:13,383
What was it they said about rules?
347
00:13:13,419 --> 00:13:16,253
That's right, rules are rules.
348
00:13:16,288 --> 00:13:17,620
You think this bothers me?
349
00:13:17,689 --> 00:13:19,189
I do a thousand Kegels a day.
350
00:13:19,224 --> 00:13:22,059
I could break a walnut down there.
351
00:13:22,094 --> 00:13:24,393
Okay, I have the papers
352
00:13:24,429 --> 00:13:27,430
all ready for both of you to sign.
353
00:13:27,466 --> 00:13:30,806
Just as soon as Ricky texts me
your Social Security number.
354
00:13:30,807 --> 00:13:32,806
Hey, my boy Ricky's got all my numbers.
355
00:13:32,842 --> 00:13:36,344
Okay, you know what, homies,
I've been thinking.
356
00:13:36,379 --> 00:13:38,346
Nerd. [Laughs]
357
00:13:38,381 --> 00:13:40,214
I'm not sure I still love this.
358
00:13:40,249 --> 00:13:43,350
I mean this kitchen, isn't it too open?
359
00:13:43,385 --> 00:13:46,418
I mean, you can be attacked
from any direction here.
360
00:13:46,487 --> 00:13:47,686
[Phone Chimes]
361
00:13:47,722 --> 00:13:49,321
Oh.
362
00:13:49,357 --> 00:13:50,757
That is Ricky with your Social.
363
00:13:50,825 --> 00:13:53,159
Yeah, boy, let's do this.
364
00:13:53,194 --> 00:13:56,328
[Phone Chimes]
And that is Ricky's penis.
365
00:13:56,364 --> 00:13:58,731
Naw, that's Jared's. Ricky wishes.
366
00:13:58,767 --> 00:14:00,199
[Laughs]
367
00:14:00,235 --> 00:14:01,833
♪ Free your mind ♪
368
00:14:01,869 --> 00:14:04,236
♪ And the rest will follow ♪
369
00:14:04,272 --> 00:14:06,505
♪ Be color blind ♪
370
00:14:06,540 --> 00:14:10,208
Go ahead, pick out anything
you want under $10.
371
00:14:10,244 --> 00:14:11,510
Oh, that's okay.
372
00:14:11,545 --> 00:14:14,079
Besides all the jewelry
here gives me a rash.
373
00:14:14,114 --> 00:14:15,414
So sorry to interrupt.
374
00:14:15,449 --> 00:14:17,716
Cheyenne, can I speak to you
for a moment alone?
375
00:14:17,752 --> 00:14:19,217
Sure, I'll miss you.
376
00:14:19,253 --> 00:14:20,451
Thanks.
377
00:14:23,791 --> 00:14:25,123
- Cheyenne?
- Mm-hmm?
378
00:14:25,192 --> 00:14:26,524
You cannot go out with that guy.
379
00:14:26,559 --> 00:14:27,759
Why?
380
00:14:27,795 --> 00:14:29,394
Because he's a middle-aged man.
381
00:14:29,429 --> 00:14:30,896
And because he was your teacher.
382
00:14:30,931 --> 00:14:32,463
Do you really need another reason?
383
00:14:32,532 --> 00:14:37,402
Cole says we are all teachers
and journeymen and thieves.
384
00:14:37,437 --> 00:14:39,069
Isn't that beautiful?
385
00:14:39,105 --> 00:14:40,405
No, it's terrible.
386
00:14:40,440 --> 00:14:42,407
And what about Bo?
387
00:14:42,442 --> 00:14:43,474
Really?
388
00:14:43,543 --> 00:14:44,909
I always thought
that you didn't like Bo.
389
00:14:44,944 --> 00:14:46,944
I'm probably just a little intimidated
390
00:14:46,979 --> 00:14:50,981
by his talent, and his looks,
and, you know, his face.
391
00:14:51,050 --> 00:14:52,983
He's the whole package.
392
00:14:53,052 --> 00:14:55,385
Oh, that's really nice of you to say.
393
00:14:55,421 --> 00:14:57,254
I don't know why he doesn't like you.
394
00:14:57,290 --> 00:14:59,056
I'm sorry, what?
395
00:14:59,091 --> 00:15:00,557
Bo doesn't like me?
396
00:15:00,592 --> 00:15:02,893
Yeah, he says you're a poser.
397
00:15:02,929 --> 00:15:04,094
Okay. Um.
398
00:15:04,130 --> 00:15:06,063
Whatever. That's beside the point.
399
00:15:06,098 --> 00:15:09,899
The point is if I had to pick
between Bo and Cole,
400
00:15:09,935 --> 00:15:10,967
I would pick Bo.
401
00:15:11,002 --> 00:15:13,069
If those were my only two options.
402
00:15:13,104 --> 00:15:15,572
Okay, I'll think about it.
403
00:15:15,607 --> 00:15:17,307
He really called me a poser?
404
00:15:17,343 --> 00:15:19,175
Yeah, a big one.
405
00:15:21,480 --> 00:15:23,447
Bo's the poser.
406
00:15:23,482 --> 00:15:26,015
Oh, God.
407
00:15:26,084 --> 00:15:27,917
Oh, God.
408
00:15:27,953 --> 00:15:31,454
Oh, God, oh, God.
You're fine. You're fine.
409
00:15:31,489 --> 00:15:32,989
You're fine, you're fine.
You can hold it forever.
410
00:15:33,024 --> 00:15:34,958
- It's like a steel trap.
- [Hornets Buzzing]
411
00:15:34,993 --> 00:15:38,027
[Exhales Sharply]
412
00:15:38,096 --> 00:15:40,929
I gotta say, we made a pretty good team.
413
00:15:40,965 --> 00:15:42,998
And I usually hate being in teams.
414
00:15:43,033 --> 00:15:44,333
I can get pretty competitive.
415
00:15:44,369 --> 00:15:48,838
You know what, I actually
used to be the same way.
416
00:15:48,873 --> 00:15:51,340
It's why I burnt out of business school.
417
00:15:51,376 --> 00:15:52,842
I thought you flunked out.
418
00:15:52,877 --> 00:15:56,311
Well, I flunked out because I burnt out.
419
00:15:56,347 --> 00:15:58,013
Sounds like you're making excuses.
420
00:15:58,048 --> 00:15:59,314
Well, you weren't there so.
421
00:15:59,686 --> 00:16:02,653
Anyway, the point
is I got super stressed
422
00:16:02,654 --> 00:16:04,119
about being the best in my class,
423
00:16:04,119 --> 00:16:08,488
and I ended up in the hospital
with dehydration for two days.
424
00:16:08,556 --> 00:16:10,323
- Wow.
- Yeah.
425
00:16:10,392 --> 00:16:14,393
I once got dehydration so bad
I was hospitalized for a month.
426
00:16:14,428 --> 00:16:16,462
They said it was like the
worst case they'd ever seen.
427
00:16:16,498 --> 00:16:19,499
Oh, my God. Really?
428
00:16:19,567 --> 00:16:22,635
No, I was just trying
to beat your story.
429
00:16:22,670 --> 00:16:25,270
Sorry, I'm competitive.
430
00:16:25,306 --> 00:16:26,639
Yeah, well.
431
00:16:26,674 --> 00:16:28,608
We all got our stuff.
432
00:16:28,643 --> 00:16:30,275
I got more stuff than you, though.
433
00:16:30,311 --> 00:16:32,677
Okay.
434
00:16:32,746 --> 00:16:34,679
I want to talk last.
435
00:16:34,748 --> 00:16:38,517
Bo "The Truth" Thompson.
436
00:16:38,585 --> 00:16:40,519
Ya boy, who's got... Okay, all right.
437
00:16:40,587 --> 00:16:44,756
That's plenty. Now, Glenn.
438
00:16:44,791 --> 00:16:46,458
Oh. Thank you.
439
00:16:52,432 --> 00:16:54,198
Yo, it's G-L-E-M.
440
00:16:54,267 --> 00:16:56,134
Okay, I know how to spell my own name,
441
00:16:56,169 --> 00:16:58,670
and it's Glenn, not Glem.
442
00:16:58,705 --> 00:16:59,971
Glenn?
443
00:17:00,007 --> 00:17:01,640
What the hell kind of name is Glenn?
444
00:17:01,675 --> 00:17:02,974
I can't sign this.
445
00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:05,143
- I'm sorry.
- What?
446
00:17:05,178 --> 00:17:07,545
Take the job in St. Louis, Kathy.
447
00:17:07,613 --> 00:17:09,780
You won't miss New York at all.
448
00:17:09,815 --> 00:17:12,283
- Christ.
- Katherine.
449
00:17:12,318 --> 00:17:14,685
Okay, this was your idea, yo.
450
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,523
If it was just my money
I wouldn't care, I swear.
451
00:17:18,558 --> 00:17:21,191
But I have a family, Bo.
452
00:17:21,226 --> 00:17:23,160
I'm sorry.
453
00:17:25,698 --> 00:17:27,665
You know, I get it.
454
00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:29,399
Maybe someday, right?
455
00:17:29,468 --> 00:17:31,334
Get a place just like this.
456
00:17:31,370 --> 00:17:35,238
Mark the baby's tallness on the
door frame, just watch her grow.
457
00:17:35,307 --> 00:17:38,375
Sit around here and
have dinners together,
458
00:17:38,410 --> 00:17:40,043
watching the news,
459
00:17:40,079 --> 00:17:42,512
roasting chestnuts on an open fire.
460
00:17:42,548 --> 00:17:43,646
Mm-hmm.
461
00:17:43,682 --> 00:17:46,249
Folks all dressed up like "Exkimos."
462
00:17:46,318 --> 00:17:48,718
Cripes, Kathy, fine, you've got a sale.
463
00:17:48,753 --> 00:17:51,521
- What?
- Oh, hooray a rental.
464
00:17:51,557 --> 00:17:53,355
I just made $12.
465
00:17:53,391 --> 00:17:55,357
Why you got to be a [Bleep] Kathy?
466
00:17:56,189 --> 00:17:57,610
♪
467
00:17:57,740 --> 00:18:00,838
I'm really not sure we're
meant to be together.
468
00:18:00,839 --> 00:18:02,104
I totally understand,
469
00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:03,973
but I am sure
470
00:18:04,008 --> 00:18:05,607
and I'm the adult here,
471
00:18:05,643 --> 00:18:09,478
so why don't we go
and talk about it in my car?
472
00:18:09,513 --> 00:18:10,779
Oh, hell, no.
473
00:18:10,815 --> 00:18:12,648
Whoa, whoa, whoa, Mr. Eastwick?
474
00:18:12,683 --> 00:18:15,951
Mr. Thompson, uh, nice to s... see you.
475
00:18:15,986 --> 00:18:17,118
You flunked me out of English class,
476
00:18:17,154 --> 00:18:18,520
and now you're flirting
with my girl, son?
477
00:18:18,556 --> 00:18:20,155
Bo, nothing is going on.
478
00:18:20,190 --> 00:18:21,557
Let's just talk this through.
479
00:18:21,625 --> 00:18:23,124
Talk it through like one of
the "Voices of Fiction"?
480
00:18:23,160 --> 00:18:25,561
We're not there right now.
We're in my house, boy.
481
00:18:25,629 --> 00:18:27,195
- Okay.
- How do you like that, huh?
482
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:28,663
- I don't like it.
- What're you talking about?
483
00:18:28,698 --> 00:18:30,498
- Read this book.
- [Cheyenne Shrieks]
484
00:18:30,533 --> 00:18:32,734
You little bitch.
485
00:18:32,802 --> 00:18:34,169
Don't hurt Bo.
486
00:18:42,012 --> 00:18:44,545
- [Both Grunting]
- Oh, my God, the shampoo!
487
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:45,813
Yeah, hit him!
488
00:18:45,849 --> 00:18:47,815
Oh, God, this is pathetic.
489
00:18:47,851 --> 00:18:49,684
Come on guys, no.
490
00:18:49,719 --> 00:18:51,185
Break it up.
491
00:18:51,220 --> 00:18:52,854
Whoa, someone's touching my junk.
492
00:18:52,889 --> 00:18:53,921
No!
493
00:18:53,990 --> 00:18:55,690
He's so romantic.
494
00:18:55,725 --> 00:18:56,924
No. Come on, put away your camera.
495
00:18:56,993 --> 00:18:58,926
There's nothing interesting here.
496
00:18:58,995 --> 00:19:00,995
Now Brett's got to clean this up.
497
00:19:01,030 --> 00:19:03,530
Come on, guys. Be considerate.
498
00:19:03,565 --> 00:19:06,166
There's nothing interesting here.
499
00:19:06,202 --> 00:19:08,568
[Indistinct Shouting]
500
00:19:08,604 --> 00:19:11,671
The comments are so mean.
501
00:19:11,707 --> 00:19:16,010
Do I look like "a gigantic, red baby"?
502
00:19:16,045 --> 00:19:17,577
No.
503
00:19:17,613 --> 00:19:19,880
Oh, what's the hurry?
504
00:19:19,915 --> 00:19:21,347
Bathroom. I'm off the clock.
505
00:19:21,383 --> 00:19:24,083
Oh, you know what, restrooms
are for customers only,
506
00:19:24,119 --> 00:19:27,037
and it doesn't appear that
you've purchased anything.
507
00:19:30,793 --> 00:19:33,192
- Oh, a stapler?
- Yeah, I could use this.
508
00:19:33,228 --> 00:19:35,128
Sure you can. We could
all use a stapler.
509
00:19:35,196 --> 00:19:36,695
You're gonna pay for this tomorrow.
510
00:19:36,731 --> 00:19:39,065
- I don't work tomorrow.
- Then the next day.
511
00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,866
- Not until Sunday.
- Sunday then.
512
00:19:40,902 --> 00:19:43,937
Sunday you will pay for...
oh wait, I'm not in Sunday.
513
00:19:43,972 --> 00:19:44,938
Damn it.
514
00:19:44,973 --> 00:19:46,973
This is so worth the two hours.
515
00:19:47,042 --> 00:19:48,707
I hate you so much.
516
00:19:48,743 --> 00:19:52,044
Guys, thank you both so
much for everything.
517
00:19:52,079 --> 00:19:54,279
So is everything okay with Bo?
518
00:19:54,315 --> 00:19:56,916
Yeah, we're not gonna
get married this weekend,
519
00:19:56,951 --> 00:19:58,855
but we're gonna be okay.
520
00:19:58,856 --> 00:20:00,755
Yo, Chey, where the dog treats at, yo?
521
00:20:00,799 --> 00:20:05,032
You adopted many dogs.
522
00:20:05,064 --> 00:20:06,463
Oh yeah, I got it all figured out.
523
00:20:06,499 --> 00:20:07,899
The dogs take care of the baby,
524
00:20:07,934 --> 00:20:10,067
and the baby grows up
and takes care of the dogs.
525
00:20:10,103 --> 00:20:11,769
Whomp. Whomp. [Laughs]
526
00:20:11,805 --> 00:20:14,071
- Circle of life.
- She gets it.
527
00:20:14,107 --> 00:20:15,973
See, I'm not a poser.
528
00:20:16,009 --> 00:20:18,475
Lets get them to their new home.
529
00:20:18,511 --> 00:20:20,611
This is Ding-Dong. That's Weed.
530
00:20:20,646 --> 00:20:23,580
This is Richard, and that's Snapdragon.
531
00:20:23,616 --> 00:20:25,582
There goes my security deposit.
532
00:20:25,618 --> 00:20:26,917
Oh, yeah.
533
00:20:26,952 --> 00:20:29,920
Wow, you guys really got
all the dogs adopted.
534
00:20:29,955 --> 00:20:32,656
- Yup.
- That's great.
535
00:20:32,692 --> 00:20:35,926
I guess I'll just wait till next
week to see the injection guy.
536
00:20:35,961 --> 00:20:37,695
You know what, I'm an adult.
537
00:20:37,763 --> 00:20:40,463
I'm gonna call him on the...
I'm gonna text him.
538
00:20:40,498 --> 00:20:42,933
- Sounds good.
- Cool.
539
00:20:42,968 --> 00:20:44,201
I'm gonna do it now.
540
00:20:46,470 --> 00:20:47,937
[Clears Throat]
541
00:20:47,972 --> 00:20:50,172
Well, nice working with you.
542
00:20:50,208 --> 00:20:52,107
It was nice working with you too.
543
00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:55,498
Hey, you know, I was thinking
of seeing a movie tonight
544
00:20:55,499 --> 00:20:56,464
if you want...
545
00:20:56,500 --> 00:20:57,699
I'm seeing two movies.
546
00:20:57,735 --> 00:20:59,334
Okay.
547
00:20:59,369 --> 00:21:03,905
Oh, the dogs are all gone?
548
00:21:03,906 --> 00:21:05,794
- Girl.
- Uh-huh.
549
00:21:05,795 --> 00:21:08,062
Were they cuddly?
550
00:21:08,131 --> 00:21:11,132
- Yeah.
- Mm-hmm.
551
00:21:11,167 --> 00:21:13,300
Yeah.
552
00:21:18,345 --> 00:21:20,987
- Synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -