1
00:00:00,176 --> 00:00:04,744
♪
2
00:00:04,746 --> 00:00:06,946
Hey, can you get the small of my back?
3
00:00:06,948 --> 00:00:08,281
Uh...
4
00:00:08,283 --> 00:00:09,852
Nicole!
5
00:00:11,721 --> 00:00:13,653
Why is there a crackhead in the bathtub?
6
00:00:13,655 --> 00:00:15,856
Oh, my God, don't call him
that... that's offensive.
7
00:00:15,858 --> 00:00:17,924
He has a name. It's Crackhead Kenneth.
8
00:00:17,926 --> 00:00:21,094
Okay, then why is Crackhead
Kenneth in the bathtub?
9
00:00:21,096 --> 00:00:22,095
Because I want him to look nice
10
00:00:22,097 --> 00:00:23,830
for when my brother gets here.
11
00:00:23,832 --> 00:00:26,333
Okay. That makes sense.
No, that makes total sense.
12
00:00:26,335 --> 00:00:30,137
I should have done the same thing
when my Aunt Judy came into town.
13
00:00:30,139 --> 00:00:31,271
You're cleaning?
14
00:00:31,273 --> 00:00:32,305
Yeah, Reggie's got this thing
15
00:00:32,307 --> 00:00:33,906
where everything has its place.
16
00:00:33,908 --> 00:00:35,308
Messy house, messy brain.
17
00:00:35,310 --> 00:00:36,310
Reggie's gonna be here!
18
00:00:36,345 --> 00:00:38,846
Yeeeeees! [applauding]
19
00:00:38,848 --> 00:00:42,581
- So, what is he doing here?
- A conference or something.
20
00:00:42,583 --> 00:00:45,184
I don't know. I can't
remember what his job is.
21
00:00:45,186 --> 00:00:47,687
I think it's like
something with computers?
22
00:00:47,689 --> 00:00:50,724
- Oh, no, he sounds terrible.
- No, he's great.
23
00:00:50,726 --> 00:00:52,855
He's just a little bitch
when it comes to being clean.
24
00:00:52,880 --> 00:00:55,696
- What time does he get in?
- What did he say... 5:00, 5:00 p.m.?
25
00:00:55,698 --> 00:00:58,481
- That's right now.
- Oh, no, is it?
26
00:00:58,506 --> 00:01:00,132
Oh, damn it!
27
00:01:00,134 --> 00:01:01,961
Okay, can you finish sweeping the rug,
28
00:01:01,986 --> 00:01:05,694
and do me one teeny, tiny little favor?
29
00:01:05,719 --> 00:01:06,807
Clean the rest of the apartment,
30
00:01:06,809 --> 00:01:07,985
go buy some new sheets for Reggie,
31
00:01:08,010 --> 00:01:09,709
and make me those funfetti
cupcakes that I like.
32
00:01:09,711 --> 00:01:12,878
- Okay, bye!
- [door opens, closes]
33
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:14,113
♪ La la la la ♪
34
00:01:14,115 --> 00:01:15,348
♪ La la la la la lay ♪
35
00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:16,515
♪ La la la la ♪
36
00:01:16,517 --> 00:01:18,568
♪ La la la la la lay ♪
37
00:01:18,593 --> 00:01:21,278
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:01:21,303 --> 00:01:23,723
[footsteps padding]
39
00:01:23,725 --> 00:01:26,026
MALE COMPUTER VOICE:
Arrival in two hours.
40
00:01:26,028 --> 00:01:28,295
Sweet Jesus, take the wheel!
41
00:01:28,297 --> 00:01:30,164
[tires squealing]
42
00:01:30,166 --> 00:01:35,001
♪
43
00:01:35,003 --> 00:01:37,973
[siren wailing]
44
00:01:43,812 --> 00:01:46,212
- [police radio chatter]
- [knocks on window]
45
00:01:46,214 --> 00:01:47,680
Yes?
46
00:01:48,159 --> 00:01:49,627
Ma'am, do you know
why I pulled you over?
47
00:01:49,652 --> 00:01:52,451
'Cause I'm a big, Black
lady in a big, black car?
48
00:01:52,453 --> 00:01:54,520
Your car's kinda small.
49
00:01:54,522 --> 00:01:56,039
Do you wanna try this again?
50
00:01:56,064 --> 00:01:57,257
Yes, please.
51
00:01:57,259 --> 00:01:58,551
Do you know why I pulled you over?
52
00:01:58,559 --> 00:02:00,973
Because you think I'm cute
and you wanna take me to a Red Lobster?
53
00:02:00,998 --> 00:02:02,163
You rolled through a stop sign.
54
00:02:02,188 --> 00:02:03,796
Straight to your heart? [laughs]
55
00:02:03,798 --> 00:02:05,064
License and registration, please.
56
00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:06,932
I'm late picking up
my brother from the airport,
57
00:02:06,934 --> 00:02:09,268
and he's gonna be so annoyed.
58
00:02:09,270 --> 00:02:11,465
Growing up, he was
always kinda the favorite,
59
00:02:11,490 --> 00:02:13,677
- and I was always kinda the screw-up.
- Uh-huh.
60
00:02:13,702 --> 00:02:15,371
My parents just like
liked him better than me,
61
00:02:15,396 --> 00:02:18,010
and they're both dead, so, that's a
ranking that's not gonna change.
62
00:02:18,012 --> 00:02:19,843
But I could show him
that I'm not a screw-up,
63
00:02:19,868 --> 00:02:23,132
if I could just, you know,
get him on time.
64
00:02:23,418 --> 00:02:26,499
[groans] God, don't you
know what it feels like
65
00:02:26,524 --> 00:02:29,214
to have a sibling that acts
like they're better than you?
66
00:02:31,126 --> 00:02:33,693
I have a sister who's a lawyer.
67
00:02:33,695 --> 00:02:35,295
I never hear the end of it.
68
00:02:35,646 --> 00:02:37,947
Oh, thank you, Officer Good-looking.
69
00:02:37,972 --> 00:02:40,172
Don't let me see you
break any more laws...
70
00:02:40,197 --> 00:02:42,032
[tires squealing]
71
00:02:43,099 --> 00:02:45,080
NICOLE: Sorry I was so
late picking you up.
72
00:02:45,105 --> 00:02:46,900
No, you're actually right on time.
73
00:02:46,925 --> 00:02:48,056
The flight number that I gave you
74
00:02:48,081 --> 00:02:50,080
was for one that got in
two hours before mine.
75
00:02:50,082 --> 00:02:51,301
What if I'd gotten there on time
76
00:02:51,326 --> 00:02:53,676
and had to wait
the airport for two hours?
77
00:02:55,676 --> 00:02:58,177
BOTH: [laughing]
78
00:02:58,202 --> 00:02:59,625
Sorry you have to hold your suitcase.
79
00:02:59,650 --> 00:03:01,348
- My trunk won't open.
- Oh, that's okay.
80
00:03:01,350 --> 00:03:03,184
I prefer knowing where it is.
81
00:03:03,186 --> 00:03:05,387
It's good to see Mom's
old car is still moving.
82
00:03:05,389 --> 00:03:07,322
Yeah, well... ♪ I treat it really good ♪
83
00:03:07,324 --> 00:03:09,489
- ♪ I take care of it ♪
- REGGIE: [laughing]
84
00:03:09,491 --> 00:03:14,262
Oh, I am so happy to have
you in town for 12 hours.
85
00:03:14,264 --> 00:03:16,924
I have a surprise for you!
86
00:03:16,949 --> 00:03:19,066
No! No surprises, Nicole. I'm beat.
87
00:03:19,068 --> 00:03:22,836
But we have to make one teeny,
tiny, itsy-bitsy little stop.
88
00:03:22,838 --> 00:03:28,410
♪
89
00:03:28,412 --> 00:03:29,995
NICOLE: [sighs]
90
00:03:30,019 --> 00:03:31,514
Ta-da!
91
00:03:31,515 --> 00:03:33,080
Ever since you told me you were gay,
92
00:03:33,082 --> 00:03:35,683
I have been dying to take you here.
93
00:03:35,685 --> 00:03:40,525
- A gay bar by the airport?
- Not just any gay bar...
94
00:03:40,550 --> 00:03:42,040
a gay bar that hasn't been discovered
95
00:03:42,065 --> 00:03:43,556
by bachelorette parties.
96
00:03:43,558 --> 00:03:47,058
It's uncontaminated.
Pure gays and tranzes.
97
00:03:47,083 --> 00:03:49,729
Nicole, I'm really not
comfortable in bars.
98
00:03:49,754 --> 00:03:52,133
- Do we have to do this?
- Why? Did you get a boyfriend?
99
00:03:52,135 --> 00:03:53,802
No, not yet...
100
00:03:54,004 --> 00:03:56,403
and I don't wanna talk
about this with my sister.
101
00:03:56,428 --> 00:03:58,094
Just tell me what your type is.
102
00:03:58,119 --> 00:04:02,547
A bear? Twink? Super queenie?
Male de flame?
103
00:04:02,572 --> 00:04:04,329
A homophobic football player
with a secret?
104
00:04:04,354 --> 00:04:07,291
Okay, okay, I... I guess
my type is someone
105
00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:10,719
who's real nice, uh, a reader, like me,
106
00:04:11,158 --> 00:04:14,055
well-traveled, solid vinyl collection,
107
00:04:14,525 --> 00:04:16,086
down with a good brunch.
108
00:04:16,111 --> 00:04:18,759
What kind of flesh package
do you like working with?
109
00:04:18,761 --> 00:04:20,408
REGGIE: [sighing]
110
00:04:20,432 --> 00:04:21,727
You're a virgin!
111
00:04:21,752 --> 00:04:23,627
Why don't you say that a little louder?
112
00:04:23,652 --> 00:04:24,682
I should say it louder.
113
00:04:24,707 --> 00:04:26,190
These guys'll be lining
up around the block
114
00:04:26,192 --> 00:04:28,949
- once they figure out you're a virgin.
- Oh, yeah, I'd love for my first time
115
00:04:28,974 --> 00:04:30,816
to be me having a train run on me.
116
00:04:30,841 --> 00:04:34,303
Trains are fun. But you know what? Fine.
117
00:04:34,328 --> 00:04:37,632
You're not gonna find a guy like
that back in Jersey, you know?
118
00:04:40,817 --> 00:04:44,618
- Maybe just one drink.
- [applauding]
119
00:04:44,815 --> 00:04:47,015
Okay, you grab us a table
120
00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:49,422
and I'm gonna go grab
you cocoa-mocha man.
121
00:04:49,447 --> 00:04:51,038
No. No, no, Nicole, don't do that.
122
00:04:51,063 --> 00:04:53,627
Oh, no, I'm sorry, I started walking.
123
00:04:53,629 --> 00:04:56,197
I can't stop walking. What's happening?
124
00:04:56,422 --> 00:04:58,547
Sorry!
125
00:05:00,025 --> 00:05:02,118
- Hi.
- Hi.
126
00:05:02,805 --> 00:05:06,281
Ugh, you're straight.
What are you doing here?
127
00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:08,308
I don't know. It's
close to where I work out.
128
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:10,444
Oh, so, you just come for the attention?
129
00:05:10,446 --> 00:05:12,813
Look, ladies never
notice my calves, right?
130
00:05:12,815 --> 00:05:14,319
You sicken me.
131
00:05:15,384 --> 00:05:16,683
Could I buy you a drink?
132
00:05:16,685 --> 00:05:17,685
No.
133
00:05:18,233 --> 00:05:19,901
You could buy me two. [laughing]
134
00:05:22,225 --> 00:05:23,892
[glasses clink]
135
00:05:23,894 --> 00:05:26,497
♪
136
00:05:28,398 --> 00:05:33,134
Okay, good news and bad
news about cocoa-mocha man.
137
00:05:33,136 --> 00:05:35,164
Bad news... he's straight.
138
00:05:35,189 --> 00:05:37,094
Good news... he's generous.
139
00:05:37,119 --> 00:05:39,039
Nicole, you can't just
leave me here like that.
140
00:05:39,064 --> 00:05:40,214
I'm sitting here by myself,
141
00:05:40,239 --> 00:05:42,308
while you're over there
talking to some guy...
142
00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:44,010
with incredible calves.
143
00:05:44,035 --> 00:05:47,041
Well, look at you. You're so closed off.
144
00:05:47,066 --> 00:05:48,665
You need to be more inviting.
145
00:05:48,690 --> 00:05:51,353
Let them see your pretty face.
146
00:05:51,355 --> 00:05:55,555
Okay, uncross your arms, arch your back,
147
00:05:55,557 --> 00:05:57,775
invite them to Club Reggie.
148
00:05:57,800 --> 00:06:00,486
Show them that you're open
for business. That's better.
149
00:06:00,511 --> 00:06:02,731
Nicole, I can't just do what you do.
150
00:06:02,733 --> 00:06:04,399
You're fearless.
151
00:06:04,401 --> 00:06:07,040
Yes, you can.
152
00:06:07,065 --> 00:06:10,630
We had a Black president.
That was his campaign slogan.
153
00:06:10,655 --> 00:06:11,732
Obama!
154
00:06:11,757 --> 00:06:14,013
Oh! Uh, hi. I'm Rebbie...
155
00:06:14,038 --> 00:06:16,435
I mean, Reggie. Sorry.
Um, do you ever do that?
156
00:06:16,460 --> 00:06:18,122
Do you ever say the wrong name
157
00:06:18,147 --> 00:06:19,680
thinking that it's the right name?
158
00:06:19,682 --> 00:06:21,716
Uh, sorry about your drink.
I'll get you a new one.
159
00:06:21,718 --> 00:06:24,185
I'm here for a conference.
Do you like shrimp?
160
00:06:24,187 --> 00:06:25,731
I know some people that are allergic,
161
00:06:25,756 --> 00:06:29,423
and I'm like, whew, that is not living.
162
00:06:29,425 --> 00:06:30,560
- Why did I just say that?
- Shut it down.
163
00:06:30,585 --> 00:06:31,748
- Okay. I'll take that. I wanna go home.
- Shut it down.
164
00:06:31,773 --> 00:06:34,223
- Yes, yes, yes. That was very bad.
- I said "hello."
165
00:06:34,248 --> 00:06:36,552
You said your name was Rebbie.
What the [bleep]?
166
00:06:37,849 --> 00:06:40,732
- That was so humiliating.
- [laughs] Oh, please.
167
00:06:40,757 --> 00:06:42,739
Humiliating is when
a guy burps in your mouth
168
00:06:42,764 --> 00:06:44,054
when you're making out with him,
169
00:06:44,056 --> 00:06:47,622
and then you go out with
him three more times.
170
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:50,427
Okay, yeah, you've been
humiliated more than I have.
171
00:06:50,429 --> 00:06:54,430
Winner! Still champion! [laughing]
172
00:06:54,432 --> 00:06:56,156
I am drunk. We're taking a car.
173
00:06:56,181 --> 00:06:57,742
Why don't we just take the bus?
174
00:06:58,268 --> 00:07:01,538
The bus? In LA? [laughing]
175
00:07:02,132 --> 00:07:03,749
We're taking a car.
176
00:07:03,774 --> 00:07:06,009
You said it yourself. Money is tight.
177
00:07:06,011 --> 00:07:08,522
Maybe if you learned first-hand
how affordable and effective
178
00:07:08,524 --> 00:07:10,390
the LA metro system is,
you'd say it's affordable.
179
00:07:10,415 --> 00:07:12,581
No, we'll take the bus
as long as you stop talking.
180
00:07:12,583 --> 00:07:13,905
Oof! Pffft!
181
00:07:13,930 --> 00:07:15,252
That was easier than I thought.
182
00:07:15,254 --> 00:07:22,191
♪
183
00:07:22,193 --> 00:07:23,711
REGGIE: [sighs]
184
00:07:23,735 --> 00:07:24,945
Deep sigh.
185
00:07:24,970 --> 00:07:27,596
I know what you're doing.
This is not that bad.
186
00:07:27,598 --> 00:07:28,797
NICOLE: Oh, really?
187
00:07:28,822 --> 00:07:31,367
REGGIE: It's a perfectly fine
mode of transportation.
188
00:07:31,369 --> 00:07:34,446
Oh, we could be drinking
three tiny waters
189
00:07:34,471 --> 00:07:36,740
in the back of some Armenian's Uber.
190
00:07:36,742 --> 00:07:38,509
Instead, we're sitting
here and getting what?
191
00:07:38,511 --> 00:07:40,476
Three different types of bedbugs?
192
00:07:40,478 --> 00:07:41,677
You're being a snob.
193
00:07:41,679 --> 00:07:46,115
Uh. Oh, I'm Reggie, a bus-taker.
194
00:07:46,140 --> 00:07:50,180
I love the bus 'cause I love
saving money and I'm boring.
195
00:07:50,205 --> 00:07:52,305
Boring? Why am I boring?
196
00:07:52,330 --> 00:07:54,484
Because I have a real job and
I'm not some wannabe actress
197
00:07:54,509 --> 00:07:57,570
that got cut off of
a mattress commercial?
198
00:07:57,595 --> 00:08:00,529
You can make a crossword puzzle
look like a line of cocaine.
199
00:08:00,531 --> 00:08:03,061
Yeah, I bet you know what
a line of cocaine looks like.
200
00:08:03,086 --> 00:08:05,490
Yeah, I do know what
a line of cocaine looks like,
201
00:08:05,515 --> 00:08:07,264
and I know what a dick looks like,
202
00:08:07,289 --> 00:08:09,647
and I know what a line of
cocaine on a dick looks like.
203
00:08:09,672 --> 00:08:11,838
Of course, you've done
cocaine off of a penis.
204
00:08:11,863 --> 00:08:13,831
You are the least
responsible person I know.
205
00:08:13,856 --> 00:08:15,356
What about Aunt Thelma?
206
00:08:15,358 --> 00:08:17,784
She didn't know she was pregnant
'til Tyrell slid out of her
207
00:08:17,809 --> 00:08:19,574
in the bathroom of a gas station.
208
00:08:19,599 --> 00:08:20,824
That's irresponsible.
209
00:08:20,849 --> 00:08:24,060
At least Aunt Thelma helped
me with Dad's funeral.
210
00:08:26,099 --> 00:08:28,168
Come on, that's not fair.
211
00:08:28,170 --> 00:08:30,139
You know you wouldn't let me help.
212
00:08:30,164 --> 00:08:32,105
It's like you're trying to
rewrite history or something.
213
00:08:32,107 --> 00:08:35,013
Yeah, I should've let you
take over Dad's funeral
214
00:08:35,038 --> 00:08:38,244
so that it could have been a complete
disaster... just like tonight.
215
00:08:38,246 --> 00:08:42,573
Oh, I am so sorry that I took you out of
216
00:08:42,598 --> 00:08:45,652
your shitty virgin little life
to have fun tonight.
217
00:08:45,654 --> 00:08:48,288
That's it. I'm outta here.
218
00:08:48,290 --> 00:08:51,125
Reggie, don't you dare get off this bus.
219
00:08:51,127 --> 00:08:52,993
This is a terrible neighborhood.
220
00:08:52,995 --> 00:08:55,796
- Hey, I live here.
- Then you know it.
221
00:08:55,798 --> 00:08:58,800
Reggie, don't you dare hit that buzzer.
222
00:08:58,802 --> 00:09:00,734
- [bell rings]
- Reggie!
223
00:09:00,736 --> 00:09:03,503
You will not get off this bus.
224
00:09:03,505 --> 00:09:06,239
[doors open, close]
225
00:09:06,241 --> 00:09:07,397
Reggie!
226
00:09:08,278 --> 00:09:11,827
Stop the bus! I need to get off the bus!
227
00:09:12,944 --> 00:09:15,202
MAN: Hold the door!
Hold the door, please!
228
00:09:15,227 --> 00:09:17,817
- Let's rob him!
- MAN: [screaming]
229
00:09:17,819 --> 00:09:20,471
NICOLE: Wait! Wait! Wait!
Wait! Let me back on the bus!
230
00:09:20,496 --> 00:09:22,754
I love the bus! I love the bus!
231
00:09:23,563 --> 00:09:25,034
Oh...
232
00:09:26,362 --> 00:09:30,066
Oh... [bleep]!
233
00:09:32,820 --> 00:09:35,555
[ominous music]
234
00:09:39,393 --> 00:09:43,261
Oh... Oh...
235
00:09:43,263 --> 00:09:44,295
Oh, God...
236
00:09:44,297 --> 00:09:46,499
- MAN: [snarling]
- Oh. No. No.
237
00:09:46,501 --> 00:09:48,970
No! No! No! No! No!
238
00:09:50,771 --> 00:09:54,005
Excuse me, sir,
have you seen my brother?
239
00:09:54,007 --> 00:09:57,308
He's 23 and polite.
He must be so terrified.
240
00:09:57,310 --> 00:09:59,111
I am so worried. He is not street smart.
241
00:09:59,113 --> 00:10:01,379
He is polite. He loves computers
or he works on computers.
242
00:10:01,381 --> 00:10:03,848
I don't know which one he said, okay?
243
00:10:03,850 --> 00:10:06,617
He is so polite.
244
00:10:06,619 --> 00:10:07,914
How long he been missing?
245
00:10:07,939 --> 00:10:09,766
Oh...
246
00:10:09,791 --> 00:10:11,133
eleven minutes.
247
00:10:11,158 --> 00:10:14,055
He's probably dead.
248
00:10:14,561 --> 00:10:15,788
Bye, Mahmood.
249
00:10:15,813 --> 00:10:17,379
Thank you for the Snapple
and the fattoush.
250
00:10:17,404 --> 00:10:19,834
Tell your son to add me on LinkedIn.
251
00:10:23,842 --> 00:10:26,540
I just wanted him to have a good time.
252
00:10:26,565 --> 00:10:30,836
This night was supposed to be
fun and I ruined everything.
253
00:10:34,681 --> 00:10:36,623
Wanna smoke some of this weed?
254
00:10:38,428 --> 00:10:41,444
Yes. Some weed would be good.
255
00:10:41,469 --> 00:10:45,223
It could help me calm down,
stay focused, relaxed,
256
00:10:45,225 --> 00:10:48,711
and figure out where Reggie is.
257
00:10:48,736 --> 00:10:49,627
[sighing]
258
00:10:49,629 --> 00:10:53,899
Ugh. Hold up. That's not weed.
259
00:10:53,901 --> 00:10:55,933
- Yes, it is.
- No, it's not.
260
00:10:55,935 --> 00:10:58,703
It's brown and it's
got clumps of fur in it.
261
00:10:58,705 --> 00:11:01,372
This is the finest weed I've ever had.
262
00:11:01,374 --> 00:11:04,677
I don't doubt that, man-with-
shopping-bags-for-shoes,
263
00:11:04,679 --> 00:11:07,645
but that is definitely not weed.
264
00:11:07,647 --> 00:11:09,079
Are you callin' me a liar?!
265
00:11:09,081 --> 00:11:12,418
Oh, okay, I see that I'm like
pushing some buttons here.
266
00:11:12,420 --> 00:11:17,121
But I gotta stand firm. That's not weed.
267
00:11:17,123 --> 00:11:19,290
- Just smoke it!
- No!
268
00:11:19,292 --> 00:11:21,995
- [heavy punch]
- NICOLE: [gasps]
269
00:11:26,565 --> 00:11:30,601
Oh, well, I shoulda
seen that one coming.
270
00:11:30,603 --> 00:11:33,206
[knock at door]
271
00:11:34,842 --> 00:11:37,230
Oh, hey, you must be Reggie.
272
00:11:37,255 --> 00:11:38,644
Hi, I'm Devin.
273
00:11:38,646 --> 00:11:40,746
A pleasure.
274
00:11:41,332 --> 00:11:42,757
Where's Nicole?
275
00:11:42,782 --> 00:11:44,982
- She's not here?
- No.
276
00:11:44,984 --> 00:11:46,851
She was just one stop
behind me on the bus.
277
00:11:46,853 --> 00:11:49,593
The bus? The bus? Nicole on a bus?
278
00:11:49,618 --> 00:11:52,243
You're funny. You are funny.
279
00:11:52,268 --> 00:11:54,306
She told me you were funny.
I didn't know how much.
280
00:11:54,331 --> 00:11:55,751
Where did you guys go?
281
00:11:55,776 --> 00:11:57,742
Some horrible gay bar near the airport.
282
00:11:57,767 --> 00:12:00,532
Oh, the Cockpit.
Oh, I love gays in transit.
283
00:12:00,534 --> 00:12:01,933
They're fun. They're free.
284
00:12:01,935 --> 00:12:05,736
Uh, where am I sleeping?
I just wanna go to bed.
285
00:12:05,761 --> 00:12:07,407
You don't wanna stay
up and wait for Nicole?
286
00:12:07,432 --> 00:12:09,391
I gotta hear what she
thought about this bus.
287
00:12:09,587 --> 00:12:11,993
Then you stay up for her.
I'm mad at her.
288
00:12:12,485 --> 00:12:15,447
Why? Did she try to control
your evening and then
289
00:12:15,449 --> 00:12:18,884
when you didn't wanna do what she said,
she powdered into her huge tantrum?
290
00:12:18,886 --> 00:12:21,301
Wow, it's like you were there.
291
00:12:21,326 --> 00:12:25,626
Have a seat. I've got the perfect
Shiraz for bitching about Nicole.
292
00:12:28,193 --> 00:12:29,311
[case thuds]
293
00:12:29,335 --> 00:12:31,271
Welcome to LA.
294
00:12:31,272 --> 00:12:32,396
[laughs]
295
00:12:32,420 --> 00:12:35,067
Pour yourself a glass. I'm not a maid.
296
00:12:35,069 --> 00:12:43,002
♪
297
00:12:43,043 --> 00:12:46,686
Hi, nice people. Can someone help me?
298
00:12:46,711 --> 00:12:49,928
Oh, please don't run. Please don't run.
Nice people, I mean you no harm.
299
00:12:49,953 --> 00:12:53,294
Oh, I have no money, no food.
300
00:12:53,319 --> 00:12:56,505
Oh, I'm just trying to get home.
301
00:12:57,083 --> 00:12:58,700
- MAN: Hey! Oh, chill!
- [screaming]
302
00:12:58,725 --> 00:13:00,872
No, don't yell don't Chill. Chill.
303
00:13:01,262 --> 00:13:05,701
Please, don't kill me.
I have so little to live for.
304
00:13:05,726 --> 00:13:07,506
- Please...
- Shut up!
305
00:13:07,531 --> 00:13:10,388
I did a lot of bad things
in my life and tonight...
306
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:15,439
- I'm gonna help you.
- Ohhhh...
307
00:13:15,441 --> 00:13:17,809
- Do you have a car?
- Don't need one.
308
00:13:17,811 --> 00:13:20,978
LA metro's very reliable and affordable.
309
00:13:20,980 --> 00:13:23,314
[sobbing] Not the bus again.
310
00:13:23,316 --> 00:13:25,717
Look, look, look,
let's get you some food first.
311
00:13:25,719 --> 00:13:29,286
Yeah, yeah, food sounds good. [sobbing]
312
00:13:29,288 --> 00:13:32,457
But I have to find my brother.
313
00:13:32,459 --> 00:13:36,266
But you know what?
Tacos are pretty fast.
314
00:13:36,291 --> 00:13:40,766
But he's my only family.
I have to find him!
315
00:13:40,768 --> 00:13:45,676
Oh, this is the truck that puts
the fries on the taco.
316
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:49,693
- I'm very excited about this.
- Here, take this.
317
00:13:49,718 --> 00:13:51,742
This is all my fault.
318
00:13:51,744 --> 00:13:54,927
This would have never happened
if I hadn't made such a big deal
319
00:13:54,952 --> 00:13:56,646
about getting him laid at the bar
320
00:13:56,671 --> 00:13:58,935
and telling everyone
that he was a virgin.
321
00:13:59,619 --> 00:14:02,253
Well... you tried
to get your brother laid?
322
00:14:02,255 --> 00:14:04,231
- Mm-hm.
- Damn!
323
00:14:04,256 --> 00:14:06,403
My sister never cared about my dick.
324
00:14:07,050 --> 00:14:08,294
Wow.
325
00:14:12,298 --> 00:14:15,074
- You is a nice bitch.
- I know.
326
00:14:15,099 --> 00:14:17,137
I'm the nicest bitch.
327
00:14:17,739 --> 00:14:18,893
So, you just feel like
328
00:14:18,918 --> 00:14:20,583
you've got nobody else to rely on.
329
00:14:20,902 --> 00:14:23,641
You know, I feel the same way.
I've been on my own since I was 24.
330
00:14:23,643 --> 00:14:25,075
I mean, I have to do everything.
331
00:14:25,077 --> 00:14:27,853
I've always had to be
the responsible one.
332
00:14:28,715 --> 00:14:30,751
And you hurt, don't you?
333
00:14:31,450 --> 00:14:32,954
I do.
334
00:14:34,353 --> 00:14:37,923
Nicole just doesn't care
about me and my feelings.
335
00:14:37,925 --> 00:14:39,199
See, that's where you're wrong.
336
00:14:39,224 --> 00:14:41,492
She really cares. Yeah, I get it.
337
00:14:41,494 --> 00:14:45,323
She's lazy. She eats in bed.
She leaves the toilet seat up.
338
00:14:45,348 --> 00:14:47,196
- Yeah, I hate that.
- Please, I'm not done.
339
00:14:47,221 --> 00:14:49,700
She's unreliable.
She's horrific with men.
340
00:14:49,702 --> 00:14:51,510
- Terrible time management.
- Exactly.
341
00:14:51,535 --> 00:14:54,839
Please do not interrupt
me right now, okay? Don't!
342
00:14:54,841 --> 00:14:58,360
She's very selfish. She pays
with most things in change.
343
00:14:58,385 --> 00:15:01,205
Small change, not quarters, and I know
344
00:15:01,230 --> 00:15:04,454
she's had a UTI for at least a month,
and she's done nothing about it.
345
00:15:04,479 --> 00:15:06,519
But somewhere deep down inside...
346
00:15:07,821 --> 00:15:10,863
I'm sorry, I... forgot
what I was gonna say.
347
00:15:10,888 --> 00:15:12,198
Your eyes...
348
00:15:12,885 --> 00:15:14,292
Um...
349
00:15:14,988 --> 00:15:18,183
I know that she really
loves and cares about you.
350
00:15:19,479 --> 00:15:22,511
I've never seen her
so giddy to see somebody
351
00:15:22,536 --> 00:15:24,894
or hear her talk about,
the way she talks about you.
352
00:15:24,919 --> 00:15:25,934
It's kinda gross.
353
00:15:25,959 --> 00:15:29,966
It made me very excited to meet
you and a little jealous.
354
00:15:31,110 --> 00:15:32,477
Really?
355
00:15:32,479 --> 00:15:33,677
Absolutely. Yeah.
356
00:15:33,679 --> 00:15:35,560
I've been asking her to clean
this place up for months,
357
00:15:35,585 --> 00:15:37,489
and it wasn't a priority
until you showed up.
358
00:15:37,514 --> 00:15:41,010
- Ugh, this is clean?
- Watch it.
359
00:15:41,502 --> 00:15:44,423
- Right.
- I can't tell you how to feel.
360
00:15:44,425 --> 00:15:47,291
But I know if you could see
things from her perspective,
361
00:15:47,293 --> 00:15:48,688
you'd feel differently.
362
00:15:49,763 --> 00:15:51,203
Wow. I...
363
00:15:52,465 --> 00:15:53,782
Maybe you're right.
364
00:15:54,701 --> 00:15:56,101
Maybe she does care.
365
00:15:56,103 --> 00:15:57,535
She cares and I know I'm right.
366
00:15:57,537 --> 00:15:59,238
Psychology is very easy.
367
00:15:59,263 --> 00:16:02,842
I can't believe my therapist had
to go to Arizona State for this.
368
00:16:03,467 --> 00:16:05,544
So, why do you think he's so uptight?
369
00:16:05,546 --> 00:16:07,336
I don't know. He never talks to me.
370
00:16:07,361 --> 00:16:11,593
I mean, he bcc'd me on a mass
email coming out of the closet.
371
00:16:11,618 --> 00:16:12,718
I mean, what do I look like?
372
00:16:12,720 --> 00:16:14,651
A person who's gonna hit "reply all"?
373
00:16:14,653 --> 00:16:18,064
- How'd that make you feel?
- I mean, bad.
374
00:16:18,089 --> 00:16:20,525
Like, uh, like I'm not important to him.
375
00:16:20,527 --> 00:16:22,593
- Did you tell him?
- [laughs] No.
376
00:16:22,595 --> 00:16:23,994
He's always judging me,
377
00:16:24,019 --> 00:16:26,865
making my life feel crummy
in comparison to his.
378
00:16:26,867 --> 00:16:28,065
Well, if you don't speak,
379
00:16:28,067 --> 00:16:30,202
how do you expect a person to listen?
380
00:16:31,037 --> 00:16:34,693
Wow, Scary Man, you deep as hell.
381
00:16:34,718 --> 00:16:36,841
Communication is key.
382
00:16:37,505 --> 00:16:38,964
See that tattoo right there.
383
00:16:38,989 --> 00:16:41,045
- Oh, I like that.
- You like that, right?
384
00:16:41,070 --> 00:16:44,797
Teachable moments right up [...]
...horrible neighborhood forever.
385
00:16:44,821 --> 00:16:46,781
We're never gonna make it to my home.
386
00:16:46,782 --> 00:16:49,002
Nicole, is that you?
387
00:16:50,487 --> 00:16:53,173
Oh, my God! This is my home!
388
00:16:53,198 --> 00:16:54,954
Damn, girl, you look like shit.
389
00:16:54,956 --> 00:16:57,257
You better wash your hair.
Your brother's home.
390
00:16:57,259 --> 00:16:59,386
Oh! Thank God!
391
00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:04,961
Wait, Kenneth, that's Devin's car.
392
00:17:06,167 --> 00:17:07,907
- Okay.
- [metal scraping]
393
00:17:08,536 --> 00:17:10,080
Uh... [bleep]!
394
00:17:11,267 --> 00:17:13,172
Nice bitch? Hold up, bitch.
395
00:17:13,174 --> 00:17:15,407
[knock at door]
396
00:17:15,432 --> 00:17:17,586
[heavy sigh]
397
00:17:17,611 --> 00:17:20,913
- DEVIN: Oh, my God, are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay, I really am.
398
00:17:20,915 --> 00:17:22,481
- Hello?
- 'Sup?
399
00:17:22,483 --> 00:17:23,900
What did you do to my sister?
400
00:17:23,924 --> 00:17:25,594
Hey! Woah, woah!
401
00:17:25,595 --> 00:17:28,887
Easy, little man, this nice sister bitch
402
00:17:28,889 --> 00:17:30,322
has been looking all over for you.
403
00:17:30,324 --> 00:17:31,519
Worried sick.
404
00:17:32,494 --> 00:17:34,511
See, Reggie, I told you Nicole cares.
405
00:17:34,536 --> 00:17:36,662
- Mm-hm.
- Nicole!
406
00:17:36,664 --> 00:17:38,297
Do you see what your
brother's doin' for you?
407
00:17:38,299 --> 00:17:41,400
This tiny pork chop ran up
on me without thinking,
408
00:17:41,425 --> 00:17:44,435
maybe he's got a knife
or a gun... which I do.
409
00:17:44,437 --> 00:17:46,174
Okay, all right,
410
00:17:46,199 --> 00:17:48,808
can you just like let my brother go?
411
00:17:48,810 --> 00:17:51,511
Can you let the anger
for your brother go?
412
00:17:51,513 --> 00:17:54,129
- Did you go to Arizona State?
- REGGIE: [groans]
413
00:17:54,154 --> 00:17:56,418
- Sure did.
- It's a good school.
414
00:17:57,507 --> 00:18:00,398
Now, nice bitch,
give your brother a hug.
415
00:18:01,388 --> 00:18:03,570
I'm sorry I left you on the bus.
416
00:18:03,595 --> 00:18:05,789
Oh, I'm sorry, too.
417
00:18:06,526 --> 00:18:07,659
Who is that guy?
418
00:18:07,661 --> 00:18:10,286
Little Stroke. Northside. 818.
419
00:18:10,908 --> 00:18:13,314
- REGGIE: 818?
- NICOLE: 818.
420
00:18:16,076 --> 00:18:19,344
Um, well, thanks for everything.
421
00:18:19,346 --> 00:18:21,144
It was really nice to meet you.
422
00:18:21,146 --> 00:18:22,380
Have a good night.
423
00:18:22,382 --> 00:18:24,384
- No, no, no, hell, no.
- Wha...? Wha...?
424
00:18:24,985 --> 00:18:26,343
You're gon' give me what I want.
425
00:18:26,368 --> 00:18:28,470
What? What do you want?
426
00:18:29,290 --> 00:18:30,747
I want your number.
427
00:18:31,857 --> 00:18:33,247
Oh...
428
00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:37,830
Um... uh... I... I don't
have anything to write on.
429
00:18:38,179 --> 00:18:39,570
Oh, that's right.
430
00:18:40,767 --> 00:18:43,078
Oh, solves that problem.
431
00:18:43,383 --> 00:18:44,718
Okay.
432
00:18:47,307 --> 00:18:48,973
[chuckling]
433
00:18:48,975 --> 00:18:51,893
♪
434
00:18:51,918 --> 00:18:53,065
Nicole?
435
00:18:55,115 --> 00:18:57,751
Hey. Well, I'm off.
436
00:18:57,776 --> 00:18:59,602
Well, it was great
having you, little beebee!
437
00:18:59,627 --> 00:19:01,652
Yeah. Ahhh...
438
00:19:01,945 --> 00:19:05,289
Thanks for an interesting night?
439
00:19:06,375 --> 00:19:07,624
Uh...
440
00:19:07,626 --> 00:19:11,194
You know, I just wanted to
say that I'm proud of you.
441
00:19:11,196 --> 00:19:13,430
I know I don't really say that enough.
442
00:19:13,455 --> 00:19:14,593
But...
443
00:19:14,860 --> 00:19:17,350
I'm impressed that you moved out here
to pursue your dreams.
444
00:19:17,375 --> 00:19:19,069
That takes a lot of guts.
445
00:19:19,071 --> 00:19:21,562
Maybe this will, I don't know,
446
00:19:21,587 --> 00:19:23,704
- help with bills or something.
- Oh, no, I couldn't possibly.
447
00:19:23,729 --> 00:19:24,736
- Okay.
- Ahhh!
448
00:19:24,761 --> 00:19:26,134
- I'm not trying to be rude.
- REGGIE: [laughs]
449
00:19:26,159 --> 00:19:30,014
Listen, you and your money
are welcome here whenever you want.
450
00:19:30,016 --> 00:19:33,017
- Thank you.
- You're welcome.
451
00:19:33,019 --> 00:19:35,219
- See ya.
- [heavy sigh] Bye.
452
00:19:35,221 --> 00:19:36,988
- Take care of Mom's car.
- NICOLE: I will.
453
00:19:37,013 --> 00:19:39,132
- Text me when you get home.
- I will.
454
00:19:39,157 --> 00:19:42,658
- Bye!
- Bye, Devin.
455
00:19:44,251 --> 00:19:47,931
[sighing] I'm gonna
miss that little nerd.
456
00:19:47,933 --> 00:19:50,634
Hey, thank you so much
for taking care of him.
457
00:19:50,636 --> 00:19:52,527
No worries. I'm just
happy you're not mad
458
00:19:52,552 --> 00:19:54,254
that I deflowered your little brother.
459
00:19:54,279 --> 00:19:56,388
- [cheek pops]
- Thank you!
460
00:19:57,178 --> 00:19:58,847
He needed that.