[cheerful title music]
[changes to creepy version]
# Harvey #
[festive music]
'Twas the night before Halloween,
and all through the town,
a spirit was lurking
and creeping around.
They call him the Blargus.
He comes out each year
to scare up excitement
and Halloween cheer.
He watched children make costumes
because soon enough
it'd be time to bug neighbors
to give them free stuff.
All except one child,
a studly bear cub
who at this very moment
was rolling to the club.
[growling]
[festive techno music]
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Hey, there, boo. Get it?
Ghosts? Halloween? Ey, cutie!
Your dance moves are bewitching.
I want to make you my baby ghoul.
- Man, I am good at flirting. - Hey, there.
You look thirsty. Let me buy you a pop.
Whoa, thanks, pretty lady.
[gasps] You think I'm pretty?
[giddy laughter]
So, anyways, what's your name, sugar?
You look sweet as candy.
- My name is literally Candy. - That's hot.
[sips] Thanks.
Wait, do you got a lazy eye,
or are you flirting with me?
Yeah.
[gasping]
We should, like, hang out tomorrow.
That's a great idea! Tomorrow is Halloween.
We can go trick-or-treating.
You're going trick-or-treating?
Uh, you're not?
Um, yeah, right.
I'm not a baby.
I'll be here at the club tomorrow night
doing this...
Oh, yeah. Me too. I was just playing.
Trick-or-treating is, like, way lame.
Yeah, tell me about it.
I mean, who cares about free candy anyway, right?
[forced laugh]
[laughing]
[obnoxious laughter]
Cool. So I'll see you tomorrow.
[dramatic music]
[festive music]
Happy Halloween, everyone.
Nice costume, Piri Piri.
You're the amalgamation of hopes
and dreams of every child, right?
Exactly!
Oh, and you're a washing machine.
What? No. I'm a robot.
Why do you have a dirty sock on your head then?
I don't know.
[groans] I'm hungry.
Isn't Harvey ready yet?
[imitating siren]
Happy Halloween from your local fire department.
You know, it's tough out there for a firefighter
who can only fight fires by moonlight
because I'm also a bloodsucking vampire!
[evil laugh]
And this is my evil, yet adorable, minion.
We all ready to go, gang?
Hey, wait a second.
Someone is missing.
Oh, where's Technobear?
Oy, we can't trick-or-treat without TB.
He makes Halloween a party.
We...we can't go without him.
All right, Rooter. Calm down already.
[suspenseful music]
[imitating siren]
Hey! Whoa!
Where's the fire, bro?
Hi, Mr. Snapper.
What are you dressed as?
Me? Oh. I'm a tall glass of water.
[giggles] And I'm thirsty.
I feel uncomfortable.
We're here to pick up Technobear.
Hey, Ma, can you iron
my lucky briefs for me real quick?
Oh, uh, hey, guys.
Technobear, where's your costume?
Costume? Nah, come on, man.
I ain't doing that anymore.
[all gasping]
But you love trick-or-treating.
Uh, yeah, I mean, I loved it when I was itty-bitty,
but I'm a big boy now.
But who's gonna bring the glow sticks?
Yeah, and the boom box.
Who's gonna bring the party?
I...well...
Technobear, who's gonna bring the party?
Um, well...
Don't be a baby.
Seriously, don't.
No. I've made up my mind.
Y'all need to respect my manly decisions.
All: Aww.
Well, I want you to have this.
In case they don't have candy at the club.
Oh, thanks, man.
But I'm pretty sure they got candy at the club.
My name's literally Candy.
Bye, Mr. and Mrs. Snapper.
I don't get it. He used to love Halloween.
[growling]
Goin' to the club!
Aw, yeah. Gonna dance it up.
Do a little bit of this. Unh!
Oh, yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
[rustling]
What was that?
[owl hooting]
Hmm, just trees.
[evil laughter]
[wind howling]
Weird.
Boo! [screaming]
Ouch! Dang it! Stubbed my toe!
Hey, bro. What are you supposed to be?
Oh, you're the Grimbus. That's cute.
I'm the Blargus!
And I'm terrifying!
That's a good costume.
Who's in there? Is that you, Harvey?
Ah! Stop that!
Technobear,
you have forgotten
the true meaning of Halloween,
so tonight, you'll be visited
by three Halloween spirits!
Ooh.
To remind you what Halloween is really about.
- What? - To remind you...
No, no. The other thing.
Uh, three Halloween ghosts.
- What? - Ah! Whatever!
You'll see soon enough.
Be ready, Technobear.
[evil laughter]
[bats squealing]
Yo, Drangus.
Those were some dope special effects.
[doorbell ringing]
All: Trick or treat!
Oh, my. Look at you little cuties.
Now, where's the little dancing bear?
I was hoping to see him
one more time before I pass.
Oh. He's not here, actually.
But we can dance for you.
Foo?
[door slamming] Dental floss?
Are you kidding me, lady?
You guys having any luck?
I got some cold oatmeal.
I got this apple,
but it's got a tooth in it.
I got a high-five.
From Piri.
And I got plenty more!
I got spit on!
If Technobear were here,
we'd be swimming in candy by now.
He always made this night really fun.
[all sighing]
[dramatic music]
Man, it's a longer walk
to the club than I remembered.
[evil laughter]
Huh?
Hmm.
- Hello! - Ah!
What the dump? Who are you?
I'm the Ghost of Halloween Past!
[gasps]
Yo, Foo, your head's on fire.
You're really stepping up on your costume game, bro.
- Anyway, see you. - Wait! You can't leave yet.
We need to revisit your past.
- Say what? - Uh...
I mean...
Let me give you a ride to the club.
On my time bike.
Oh. Thanks, bro.
No problem.
Uh, Foo, I don't think this is the right way.
Oopsies.
[clock dinging]
This don't look like the club, man.
Look.
Yo, wait a minute.
Is that little baby Harvey?
And little baby Dade?
Hey, Harvey, Harvey, Harvey,
Harvey, Harvey, Harvey.
And baby Claire,
and baby Kratz?
[gasps] And there's little baby me.
- Aww. - You were a beautiful baby.
Now it's time to grow up, babies!
My passie! You wrecked it!
We going trick-or-treating, y'all!
But we're too young to trick-or-treat.
We're only three!
It sound scary.
Yeah, but it's the good kind of scary.
- The kind that gets you candy. - Ooh!
And you get to wear anything you want.
Really?
Harvey, you can practice socializing.
Ooh!
Dade, Harvey's going.
Ooh!
Come on, guys! Let's do this!
- All: Yeah! - I'm excited.
Aw, those were good times.
Good times with good babies.
And of all the babies, you were always
the most grown-up baby.
Weren't you, Mr. Baby?
- Huh? - Let's go, baby!
Whoa!
[doorbell ringing] Wha?
[door opening]
All: Trick or treat!
Oh, my.
How nice to see some fresh little faces
before I pass.
I'm a bunny, but also a goblin.
I'm a disco ball.
[techno music playing] [grunting]
Oh. Oh. Ooh!
Dance! Dance! Dance!
Oh, wonderful!
Just wonderful!
All: Yay!
So? How do you feel?
I feel like... like...
like I ain't no baby no more!
Now I know for sure I'm a big boy,
and I got to do big boy things
at the big boy club.
Thanks for the trip down memory lane, Foo.
- Peace! - Okay! Bye, Technobear.
Have fun with the other ghosts.
That went well. [groaning]
[scary music] [wolf howling]
Huh, I don't remember there being a pumpkin patch
on the way to the club.
Maybe I should bring a pumpkin for my pumpkin. [chuckles]
Actually, this kind of looks like Candy.
Kind of want to kiss it. Mm...
- You sure about that? - Whoa!
Dude! Harvey! What are you supposed to be?
- Ta-da! - Okay, so,
you're some kind of pumpkin ghost?
Open this gift, and you'll find out.
It's empty.
That's because the gift
is the present.
What?
And the present is a gift.
This present is very empty.
So, have you guessed it?
Literally nothing.
Have you guessed it?
I'm so confused.
I'm the Ghost of Halloween Present!
Oh! Okay.
I get it now.
Great. Now come with me.
Whoa!
Cool, so you can fly now, Harvey?
You got to tell me your workout routine.
I am only here to show you your present. Behold!
Ey, there's all my buddies! Ey, wait a second.
That's Harvey. But...
You're right here. Unless...
- You really are a ghost. - Course I am, silly.
[screams] Oh, snap!
Wait, wait, wait, wait a second.
Rewind. Back up.
So you're Harvey, and that's normal Harvey.
- Yep. - Hmm...
Ghost Harvey, normal Harvey. Ghost Harvey, normal Harvey.
Ghost Harvey, normal Harvey, ghost Harvey, normal Harvey,
- ghost Harvey, normal Harvey... - Stop that.
- Ah! - Like I said,
I'm the Ghost of Halloween Present.
I want to show you something.
Now, this is what I'm talking about.
Look at this place. It's like Halloween central.
We're gonna get tons of candy here.
Well, okay.
I just really hope this sign's a typo.
No, no! What are they doing?
That house spent all their money on the decorations.
It's always that moderately-decorated house
across the street that's got the best candy.
Ah, slow year.
Oh, well.
[all whimpering]
Oh, I'm deathly uncomfortable.
Foo is so brave.
I wonder what he's thinking about.
I've peed in this costume three times.
Listen: If you want the good stuff,
you got to earn it... ooh!
[screaming] [all gasping]
[laughing] [all screaming]
[screaming]
It's just a stupid machine.
[laughing] He's laughing at me.
Come on, Harvey, just give it a punch
in the old kisser.
[laughing] [grunts]
[laughing]
He's still going!
All: Ah!
[whimpering]
- Boo! - Ah!
[grunting]
What are they doing?
Don't they know whose house this is?
What is going on here?
[grunting] Oh.
My beautiful decorations!
[gasps]
What did you do to Frankenstein...
's monster!
Uh...trick or treat?
[growling]
[all screaming]
Oh, man.
They're pretty terrible at trick-or-treating.
Well, they'll score at the next house, right?
Without you there, I don't know.
- Oh. - Oh.
Got to get my pumpkin pie out of the oven.
Pumpkin pie?
- But your head is a... - Pumpkin?
I know.
Happy Halloween!
[evil laughter]
Ew, now that is one sick dude.
Ah!
Ooh!
Oh, man, it hurts to see
my friends strike out like that.
Yes, so close.
Go forth, and complete
the return of the Technobear
to the Eve of Hallow.
- Huh? - To finish the job!
Okay, third ghost.
You're getting a little
fashionably late here.
Yo, what is that?
Yo!
Yo.
- Yo... - Sup?
Ah!
Oh, wait.
You're ghost Fee.
I was kind of hoping for ghost Miriam,
but I guess this one makes more sense.
Oh...ah!
Why am I always falling?
Ah!
Ooh!
Dude.
Is this the future?
[gasps]
The future is...
a club!
Oh, yeah, baby!
Technobear is in the hizz-ouse!
Huh?
Where is everybody?
Yo, yo, this place is, like, super dead.
[blowing]
Yo, yo, yo, yo, this place is, like,
super-duper dead.
What are you trying to tell me by taking me
to the deadest dead club that ever dropped dead?
Ah! Ooh!
[gasps]
This place is dead because
I'm dead!
No! There's got to be a mistake!
I can't be dead. I'm right here.
Dude.
[scary music]
Nah, bro. We dead.
No, there's got to be something I can do!
A lesson I could learn. I don't want to die tonight!
Nah, bro. We don't die tonight.
- We don't? - Nah, not for a long time.
Oh, cool, so you want to hit the club, then?
Bro, I thought you'd never ask.
Both: Ey!
[groans]
[techno music]
You want to boogie with us?
No, no, no! Shut it down!
Fine! Don't trick or treat!
I don't care anymore!
[sighs] You're just another kid who lost the Halloween spirit.
- So... I can go to the club? - Get out!
You know, dude, I'm gonna send you
those three ghosts to talk about your anger management.
All right, bro. Happy Halloween.
That's right, you little con artists.
Get out of here.
You want candy, you got to pay for it
like everyone else.
Nothing in life is free.
This whole night has been a big bust.
Maybe we are getting too old for this.
We're nothing without Technobear.
It was all in his charm.
We didn't even get any candy.
Speak for yourself.
[all gasping]
Fee, you bought candy from Randl?
Yeah...I bought it...
Anyway, I wasn't gonna let Halloween
be a total disaster.
[all gasping] Oh, I love it.
It's my own child. Oh, I love it so much.
One for you, and one for you.
I don't even want to eat it.
I just want to stare at it.
It's a Halloween miracle, plain and simple.
[thunder and lightning]
[gasping]
No. No. No. No!
[all sobbing]
This is the worst Halloween ever!
Ey, I finally made it. Club Mulch.
All right. Let's do this.
[dance music]
Oh, no. Ah! Ah! It's in my eyes!
[screaming]
Yeah! Now these are my people!
- Hot stuff! - What's up?
Hot cake!
Don't look at me when I'm dancing.
Hot... Candy? [dance music]
- Sweet moves, Candy. - Oh, Technobear.
I thought you were out trick-or-treating
with your weird little baby friends.
So glad you ditched them.
Yeah, I don't miss my friends.
Or trick-or-treating.
Why go trick-or-treating when you got
Candy right here.
Yeah. Great.
- What's wrong? - Nothing!
We're dancing. This is fun.
No guilt whatsoever.
[growling]
Yo, I'm getting hungry.
You wouldn't happen to have any real candy on you, would you?
[laughing] What?
Uh...never mind.
Hey, bro, do you or your friends have candy?
Sorry, no candy, and these are not my friends.
I abandoned my friends years ago
'cause all they wanted to do was trick-or-treat.
I miss my friends.
And candy.
I too have turned my back
on both friends and trick-or-treating.
One day you're out trick-or-treating
with your best friends, the next
you're clubbing, and then the next, you're dead.
[sobbing]
Ew, stop talking about trick-or-treating.
Did someone say trick-or-treating?
Yeah, I miss trick-or-treating with friends.
There's no candy here at the club!
Why did I choose to go clubbing
without friends on Halloween?
Just wish I could go back to that time.
I want to go back!
[all sobbing]
Ugh! You're all just a bunch
of little crying babies!
I'm just gonna dance by myself then.
[techno music]
Now I'm hungry and sad.
[dinging]
[gasps] Huh?
In case they don't have candy at the club.
Hmm...
Guys, maybe we should look on the bright side.
I mean, I did find this piece of broccoli.
- I know it's not sweet, but... - No.
Wrong. No.
I was supposed to be a magical girl,
but there's nothing magical about tonight.
Candy! Where's the candy? Do you have it?
[screaming]
I guess we'll just have to try again next year.
[distant music] Do you guys hear that?
It sounds like sick beats.
[gasps] I'd know that music from anywhere.
[music]
What up, people?
Who wants to do some trick-or-treating?
- All: Technobear! - You came!
Yeah! [all shouting joyfully]
But Technobear, what about the club?
Yeah, well, I realized I'm gonna have
plenty of time to dance with hotties in my life.
Right now, I just want to get some candy with my buddies.
All right, let's do this!
[upbeat rock music]
[doorbell ringing]
Happy Halloween to all, and to all a good fright!
Whoo! [laughing]
~ Addic7ed.com ~