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00:00:02,534 --> 00:00:04,136
Before we sign off, I want to send
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00:00:04,137 --> 00:00:06,726
good wishes to Mets pitcher Matt Harvey,
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00:00:06,727 --> 00:00:08,650
out for the season with a bad shoulder.
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00:00:08,651 --> 00:00:11,152
Been there, buddy... it's painful.
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00:00:11,153 --> 00:00:14,021
Oscar, you sprained
yours buttering a pancake.
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That butter was right out of the fridge.
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00:00:16,224 --> 00:00:17,757
It was like a brick!
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00:00:19,493 --> 00:00:21,529
All right, that's our
show. I'm Oscar Madison.
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00:00:21,530 --> 00:00:24,430
And I'm Dani D, your
lady-o on the radio.
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00:00:25,166 --> 00:00:26,933
Sounded so cute in the shower.
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00:00:27,835 --> 00:00:29,503
What a show!
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00:00:29,504 --> 00:00:31,647
I wish I could go back in
time and listen to it again.
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Well, they replay it at 5:00.
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Yeah, one of my kids has a thing.
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00:00:35,709 --> 00:00:37,044
So, who's your favorite agent?
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00:00:37,045 --> 00:00:38,268
Ooh, you're my favorite agent.
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00:00:38,269 --> 00:00:40,181
What did I win?
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00:00:40,182 --> 00:00:42,383
Well, I've been talking to
the executives about you,
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00:00:42,384 --> 00:00:44,705
and they know that you're more
than just Oscar's assistant.
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You're on the air,
you're screening calls,
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and they think it's time
for you to be rewarded.
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Am I getting a cookie cake?
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No!
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They decided to make you the producer
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00:00:54,243 --> 00:00:55,343
of the Oscar Madison Show!
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Oh, Teddy!
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Hold the phone.
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There will be no cake?
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Oscar, did you know about this?
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Yeah, Teddy gave me the heads-up.
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Congratulations.
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Oh, thank you.
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Ah, that's my buttering arm!
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00:01:08,043 --> 00:01:10,044
You're going to have
more responsibilities...
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00:01:10,045 --> 00:01:12,046
booking guests, dealing
with the sponsors...
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00:01:12,047 --> 00:01:13,714
Oh, I've got to call my family.
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My mom is going to be so proud,
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and my sister's going to be so jealous.
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Suck it, Denise!
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Oh, shoot, I should have
asked Dani for some coffee.
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Dani! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
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She's not an assistant anymore.
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She's a producer.
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Well, that's just a title, right?
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I don't have to do my
own stuff now, do I?
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I don't know how to cook coffee.
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There's money in the budget
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to hire a new assistant for both of you.
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I don't want a new
assistant... Dani was perfect.
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Quit being a baby... Dani's earned this.
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I mean, she put up with your nonsense
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and managed to stay sweet and humble.
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And another thing, Denise.
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You remember in '87 when
you called me Dani the Dummy?
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Uh-huh, who's the dummy now?
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Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
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We've got a lot of applicants.
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Gwyneth Paltrow wants
to be our assistant?
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00:02:01,028 --> 00:02:03,362
That's People magazine.
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00:02:06,333 --> 00:02:08,201
Guess who just bought three new dresses?
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This should be easier.
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It's so cute you go shopping together.
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I told him he didn't have to come.
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Oh, I wanted to.
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Someone thinks overalls
are still in fashion.
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I'm going to grab a glass of water.
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Okay, hurry back, love.
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Oh, my God, did you see that?
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See what?
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Emily... she's so
distant and out of sorts.
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When she came back from London,
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I thought we would fall
right back into our groove.
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But no, no... something is off.
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She seems fine to me.
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I actually decided to make some tea.
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Does anybody want some?
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- None for me, thanks.
- Oh.
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You had to see it that time!
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Well, I know what will jolt
her out of her malaise...
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a patented night of Felix
Unger romantic enchantment.
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Ooh, that's our first applicant.
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00:02:55,835 --> 00:02:56,799
It's so exciting.
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Can't we just use this guy?
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His resume is long, and he's bilingual.
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00:03:00,604 --> 00:03:03,571
That's a takeout menu
for a Thai restaurant.
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00:03:05,141 --> 00:03:08,443
And that's why I thought
I'd go into assistanting.
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Fascinating, Amber.
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I see you started as a dancer.
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Do you have a specialty?
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Modern, jazz...
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00:03:18,655 --> 00:03:21,257
pole?
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This is such a thrill, Mr. Madison.
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00:03:23,326 --> 00:03:25,628
I'm your number one
fan. You're a legend.
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00:03:25,629 --> 00:03:28,263
I'm only one man, Jared.
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00:03:29,732 --> 00:03:32,735
I've taped every episode, I
write an Oscar Madison blog,
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00:03:32,736 --> 00:03:34,435
oh, and check out my tattoo!
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Look, Oscar... his
nipples are your eyes.
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So I think the hallmark
of being a good assistant
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00:03:45,782 --> 00:03:48,484
is keeping things running
smoothly in the background,
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so my employer can
shine in the spotlight.
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Very impressive, Margaret.
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What do you think, Oscar?
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00:03:54,191 --> 00:03:55,791
I think the authorities should check out
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00:03:55,815 --> 00:03:57,860
Jared's blog.
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00:03:57,861 --> 00:04:01,297
He's got pictures of me
from my last vacation.
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00:04:01,298 --> 00:04:03,631
Pictures I didn't take.
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00:04:04,700 --> 00:04:06,669
Thank you, Margaret...
we will be in touch.
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00:04:06,670 --> 00:04:08,971
It was lovely to meet you both.
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00:04:08,972 --> 00:04:10,872
Here's one of me snorkeling.
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From underneath!
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00:04:13,677 --> 00:04:15,744
Oscar, Margaret was great.
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00:04:15,745 --> 00:04:17,213
Why didn't you like her?
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00:04:17,214 --> 00:04:20,182
I don't know... she had kind
of a weird speech impediment.
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She's British!
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All right, let's just
see more applicants.
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00:04:24,988 --> 00:04:26,655
No, no, no.
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I know in my gut that Margaret
is the right one for the job.
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And if I'm going to be your producer,
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you have to trust me to make decisions.
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Fine, it's your call.
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00:04:34,030 --> 00:04:35,664
I hope you know what you're doing.
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This is your first big decision.
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You won't regret it.
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I better not.
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Because I think we saw a lot
of good people here today.
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You don't have to pay me.
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00:04:47,477 --> 00:04:48,978
In fact, I could pay you.
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In backrubs.
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00:04:56,151 --> 00:04:58,387
Everything all right?
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00:04:58,388 --> 00:04:59,922
Are you enjoying your Linguini served
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"Unger" the moonlight?
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00:05:03,059 --> 00:05:05,728
But you really didn't have
to go to all this trouble...
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00:05:05,729 --> 00:05:10,431
making dinner, picking out
my outfit, trimming my hair.
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00:05:11,901 --> 00:05:13,602
You think this is impressive?
135
00:05:13,603 --> 00:05:14,670
What?
136
00:05:14,671 --> 00:05:16,272
What's happening?
137
00:05:16,273 --> 00:05:18,173
Take a look at the
building across the street.
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00:05:19,275 --> 00:05:22,778
In three, two, one...
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00:05:22,779 --> 00:05:25,581
And now.
140
00:05:25,582 --> 00:05:27,549
Oh, my God.
141
00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:31,252
The lights in the windows
spell out "I love Emil""
142
00:05:33,222 --> 00:05:34,590
Damn it!
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00:05:34,591 --> 00:05:38,560
I knew those "Y" bastards
were going to screw me over.
144
00:05:38,561 --> 00:05:41,897
This did not happen at the
4:00 or 6:00 rehearsals.
145
00:05:41,898 --> 00:05:44,632
Well, it's still nice.
146
00:05:45,567 --> 00:05:47,303
Nice.
147
00:05:47,304 --> 00:05:50,272
I was hoping for a slightly
more amorous reaction.
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00:05:50,273 --> 00:05:51,807
In fact, I kind of promised one
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00:05:51,808 --> 00:05:54,308
to the creepy guy in
the middle of the E.
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00:05:56,278 --> 00:05:58,113
I'm sorry.
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00:05:58,114 --> 00:06:00,115
I guess I've just
152
00:06:00,116 --> 00:06:03,085
been in a bit of a funk lately.
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00:06:03,086 --> 00:06:05,421
A funk... I knew it!
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00:06:05,422 --> 00:06:07,156
And you know how I feel about funk...
155
00:06:07,157 --> 00:06:08,490
I don't like it as a smell,
156
00:06:08,491 --> 00:06:10,792
as a musical genre,
or an emotional state.
157
00:06:12,928 --> 00:06:14,797
How can I help?
158
00:06:14,798 --> 00:06:16,432
There's nothing that you can do.
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00:06:16,433 --> 00:06:19,567
I think that I just...
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00:06:20,669 --> 00:06:21,603
What?
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00:06:21,604 --> 00:06:24,506
You can tell me anything.
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00:06:24,507 --> 00:06:27,176
I think I just miss England.
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00:06:27,177 --> 00:06:29,244
I mean, for three
months every day it was
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one new adventure after another.
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I would... I'd wake up,
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00:06:32,349 --> 00:06:33,849
I'd walk to a different part of town,
167
00:06:33,850 --> 00:06:35,150
I'd find some cool little pub,
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I'd play a game of darts.
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00:06:36,419 --> 00:06:38,253
- That sounds wonderful.
- It was.
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00:06:38,254 --> 00:06:41,423
But the farther away
that it gets for me,
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00:06:41,424 --> 00:06:44,159
the more it feels like
it was just a dream.
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00:06:44,160 --> 00:06:45,861
Some places just stay with you.
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I feel like that every time I leave
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00:06:47,286 --> 00:06:49,085
The Container Store.
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00:06:52,334 --> 00:06:54,169
I'll be okay, Felix.
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And thank you again for tonight.
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00:06:56,339 --> 00:06:58,941
But I think what I need right now
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is just some time to figure things out.
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00:07:01,544 --> 00:07:02,878
Absolutely.
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00:07:02,879 --> 00:07:04,302
How much time are we talking about?
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00:07:04,303 --> 00:07:05,602
I don't know.
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00:07:06,615 --> 00:07:07,883
It's already been a month.
183
00:07:07,884 --> 00:07:08,725
So are we talking, like, another month?
184
00:07:08,726 --> 00:07:10,390
Because then we're in
the holidays, and...
185
00:07:10,391 --> 00:07:12,336
I said I don't know!
186
00:07:12,389 --> 00:07:14,556
I'm sorry.
187
00:07:14,557 --> 00:07:16,859
I think I'm just tired.
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00:07:16,860 --> 00:07:18,392
I'm going to call it a night.
189
00:07:23,365 --> 00:07:24,800
Are you guys done with dinner?
190
00:07:24,801 --> 00:07:27,034
Or can I fight the pigeons for it?
191
00:07:37,433 --> 00:07:38,376
Seriously?
192
00:07:38,377 --> 00:07:39,675
That is fantastic.
193
00:07:39,676 --> 00:07:41,019
Tell him if he has any questions,
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00:07:41,020 --> 00:07:43,612
he can call producer Dani Duncan.
195
00:07:43,613 --> 00:07:45,681
Do you say that every time?
196
00:07:45,682 --> 00:07:46,682
No.
197
00:07:46,683 --> 00:07:47,950
Sometimes I sing it.
198
00:07:47,951 --> 00:07:50,119
♪ Produ... ♪
199
00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:52,554
♪ Stop. ♪
200
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,391
So guess who I landed
for my very first booking?
201
00:07:55,392 --> 00:07:59,060
Hint... it's two-time
NBA champ Chris Bosh!
202
00:08:00,262 --> 00:08:02,431
- Seriously?
- Uh-huh.
203
00:08:02,432 --> 00:08:04,099
Dani, that's great...
that's a real coup.
204
00:08:04,100 --> 00:08:07,803
I know... some may
call it a "Slam Duncan."
205
00:08:07,804 --> 00:08:08,804
Some.
206
00:08:08,805 --> 00:08:10,138
Not me.
207
00:08:12,541 --> 00:08:14,109
Good morning, Ms. Duncan.
208
00:08:14,110 --> 00:08:15,529
I have Mr. Madison's coffee.
209
00:08:15,530 --> 00:08:16,145
Oh, thank you.
210
00:08:16,146 --> 00:08:17,379
Two shots, one sugar, right?
211
00:08:17,380 --> 00:08:18,414
Oh, poo.
212
00:08:18,415 --> 00:08:19,715
I got one shot, two sugars.
213
00:08:19,716 --> 00:08:21,216
Oh, well, no worries.
214
00:08:21,217 --> 00:08:23,080
You just go downstairs
and get him another one.
215
00:08:23,081 --> 00:08:24,219
Can I grab a snack first?
216
00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:26,429
I need something to eat every two hours.
217
00:08:26,430 --> 00:08:28,173
Yeah, but Oscar's show
starts in 20 minutes.
218
00:08:28,174 --> 00:08:30,208
Oh, no, they think it's a tapeworm.
219
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,110
Okay, fine.
220
00:08:33,111 --> 00:08:35,192
It's your first day, so
I'll go back down and get it.
221
00:08:35,193 --> 00:08:37,056
But tomorrow, I'm going
to need you to step up.
222
00:08:37,057 --> 00:08:38,300
Oh, of course.
223
00:08:38,301 --> 00:08:39,601
Not literally, right?
224
00:08:39,602 --> 00:08:41,436
Because steps aggravate my knee rot.
225
00:08:45,741 --> 00:08:47,076
Where are you going?
226
00:08:47,077 --> 00:08:48,077
Is that my coffee?
227
00:08:48,078 --> 00:08:49,277
No... I'll be right back.
228
00:08:52,614 --> 00:08:54,249
Hey, Felix.
229
00:08:54,250 --> 00:08:55,850
Nice rack.
230
00:08:57,753 --> 00:09:00,756
Courtesy chuckle, ha ha, moving on.
231
00:09:00,757 --> 00:09:02,825
I had a genius idea.
232
00:09:02,826 --> 00:09:06,428
Emily misses London, so I am
going to bring London to her.
233
00:09:06,429 --> 00:09:07,930
Where did you get all this stuff?
234
00:09:07,931 --> 00:09:09,665
I am the wardrobe master
235
00:09:09,666 --> 00:09:11,433
of my Gilbert and Sullivan Society.
236
00:09:11,434 --> 00:09:12,868
I'll never forget
237
00:09:12,869 --> 00:09:14,336
my debut in The Mikado.
238
00:09:14,337 --> 00:09:16,370
I made an incredible Nanki-Poo.
239
00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:20,943
Why, were you nervous?
240
00:09:20,944 --> 00:09:23,712
I plan to surround Emily with reminders
241
00:09:23,713 --> 00:09:25,314
of her days across the pond.
242
00:09:25,315 --> 00:09:27,782
Perhaps she'll meet a London bobby, hmm?
243
00:09:29,518 --> 00:09:32,320
Or a right cheeky chimney sweep.
244
00:09:32,955 --> 00:09:34,189
Felix,
245
00:09:34,190 --> 00:09:36,859
when a woman has a problem,
246
00:09:36,860 --> 00:09:39,294
just listen... don't try to solve it.
247
00:09:39,295 --> 00:09:41,363
Sometimes the sexiest part of a man
248
00:09:41,364 --> 00:09:43,064
is his ear.
249
00:09:44,633 --> 00:09:47,034
Charlotte left a Cosmo in my bathroom.
250
00:09:48,837 --> 00:09:51,206
I don't know, Oscar... I
mean, I have to do something.
251
00:09:51,207 --> 00:09:52,674
I can feel her pulling away.
252
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,143
Well, just give her some space.
253
00:09:54,144 --> 00:09:55,577
Maybe she'll sort out her issues
254
00:09:55,578 --> 00:09:57,161
and you two will be stronger than ever.
255
00:09:57,162 --> 00:09:58,514
Worked for Charlotte and me.
256
00:09:58,515 --> 00:10:00,549
Backing off isn't exactly my thing.
257
00:10:00,550 --> 00:10:02,584
Well, that's all I've got.
258
00:10:02,585 --> 00:10:04,686
Unless you want Cosmo's
top ten exercises
259
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,554
for a bun-tastic summer.
260
00:10:07,489 --> 00:10:08,490
You want that?
261
00:10:08,491 --> 00:10:09,824
I do. Okay, I'll go get it.
262
00:10:14,196 --> 00:10:15,697
Look, I'll find the money.
263
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,766
Just please don't shut off my service.
264
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:20,002
I won't survive the winter without it.
265
00:10:20,003 --> 00:10:21,202
Thank you.
266
00:10:22,504 --> 00:10:24,038
Netflix.
267
00:10:26,875 --> 00:10:28,510
Say, Margaret?
268
00:10:28,511 --> 00:10:30,245
Quick take this stuff for Oscar.
269
00:10:30,246 --> 00:10:32,179
Yep, yeah, it's okay, it's okay,
270
00:10:33,248 --> 00:10:34,616
Wow... dry-cleaning, groceries,
271
00:10:34,617 --> 00:10:36,285
and coffee, all before noon?
272
00:10:36,286 --> 00:10:39,221
Your wish is my command.
273
00:10:39,222 --> 00:10:41,423
Do you think you have enough
energy to make me lunch?
274
00:10:41,424 --> 00:10:43,392
I'm in the mood for something healthy.
275
00:10:43,393 --> 00:10:44,593
How about a hoagie?
276
00:10:44,594 --> 00:10:46,728
I'll get straight on it, sir.
277
00:10:46,729 --> 00:10:48,430
"Straight on it."
278
00:10:48,431 --> 00:10:50,197
It's like "right away," but special-er.
279
00:10:54,536 --> 00:10:56,305
What exactly is a hoagie?
280
00:10:56,306 --> 00:10:57,873
I'll do it.
281
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,977
This is Dani.
282
00:11:01,978 --> 00:11:03,378
Oh, hi.
283
00:11:03,379 --> 00:11:05,247
What time do we want Chris Bosh?
284
00:11:05,248 --> 00:11:07,716
Let me think about it.
285
00:11:11,086 --> 00:11:12,888
Noah!
286
00:11:12,889 --> 00:11:15,757
I told you to crouch in the
pantry until Grammy Margaret
287
00:11:15,758 --> 00:11:18,293
gave you the all clear.
288
00:11:18,294 --> 00:11:20,062
You brought your grandson to work?
289
00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:22,564
Well, I couldn't very
well leave him on his own.
290
00:11:22,565 --> 00:11:24,231
He's a bit of a firebug.
291
00:11:25,434 --> 00:11:27,302
I am sorry for the screaming.
292
00:11:27,303 --> 00:11:29,738
I'm just so thrilled that
he's coming to do the show.
293
00:11:29,739 --> 00:11:31,840
Oh, step away from the
stove, you devil child!
294
00:11:31,841 --> 00:11:33,242
No!
295
00:11:33,243 --> 00:11:35,177
No, not you, you sound lovely.
296
00:11:35,178 --> 00:11:36,445
You know what?
297
00:11:36,446 --> 00:11:37,813
Can I just call you right back?
298
00:11:37,814 --> 00:11:41,650
Um, Margaret, this is is not working.
299
00:11:41,651 --> 00:11:43,185
Are you letting me go?
300
00:11:43,186 --> 00:11:45,020
No, I can't fire you.
301
00:11:45,021 --> 00:11:47,822
Fire.
302
00:11:50,759 --> 00:11:52,427
I went out on a limb for you.
303
00:11:52,428 --> 00:11:54,491
I need to show Oscar that
I made the right decision.
304
00:11:54,492 --> 00:11:57,199
So I am stuck with you.
305
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,635
So could you please
just, I don't know, focus,
306
00:11:59,636 --> 00:12:02,638
and learn how to make
this damn sandwich?
307
00:12:02,639 --> 00:12:05,641
Did you hear that, Noah?
308
00:12:05,642 --> 00:12:07,442
They can't fire Grammy this time.
309
00:12:07,443 --> 00:12:09,777
Fire.
310
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:12,848
Mmm-mmm.
311
00:12:12,849 --> 00:12:14,783
Mmm!
312
00:12:14,784 --> 00:12:16,167
How's that sandwich coming?
313
00:12:16,168 --> 00:12:18,435
Oh, it's bloomin' lovely!
314
00:12:22,357 --> 00:12:23,992
Almost there.
315
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:26,295
Don't you find it alarming
that a man can drag
316
00:12:26,296 --> 00:12:28,319
a blindfolded woman through
the streets of New York
317
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,854
and no one stops to help?
318
00:12:32,968 --> 00:12:34,535
Ta-da!
319
00:12:36,004 --> 00:12:36,905
Oh.
320
00:12:36,906 --> 00:12:39,341
An English pub.
321
00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,976
Because I told you
that I missed England.
322
00:12:40,977 --> 00:12:42,578
Yes, and I heard what you were saying.
323
00:12:42,579 --> 00:12:44,580
Really? Because I also said...
324
00:12:44,581 --> 00:12:48,717
And that is why I have
planned an entire day
325
00:12:48,718 --> 00:12:50,652
of British surprises.
326
00:12:50,653 --> 00:12:52,754
You know, the great thing about a pub
327
00:12:52,755 --> 00:12:55,222
is that you never know
who you're going to meet.
328
00:12:56,091 --> 00:12:58,025
Who you're going to meet!
329
00:12:58,954 --> 00:13:00,377
Flowers for sale!
330
00:13:00,378 --> 00:13:01,496
'Allo.
331
00:13:01,497 --> 00:13:04,266
Pretty as a daisy, you are.
332
00:13:04,267 --> 00:13:06,234
Oh, look.
333
00:13:06,235 --> 00:13:07,903
You've hired your friends to dress up as
334
00:13:07,904 --> 00:13:09,370
English stereotypes.
335
00:13:10,539 --> 00:13:13,208
That no longer exist.
336
00:13:13,209 --> 00:13:14,910
Isn't it whimsical?
337
00:13:14,911 --> 00:13:16,078
Can I get your largest glass
338
00:13:16,079 --> 00:13:18,614
of alcohol, please?
339
00:13:18,615 --> 00:13:20,248
Is something wrong?
340
00:13:20,249 --> 00:13:22,117
Well, yes.
341
00:13:22,118 --> 00:13:25,420
I mean, I said that I needed some space,
342
00:13:25,421 --> 00:13:27,422
and then all of this.
343
00:13:27,423 --> 00:13:30,058
I'm not really sure how much
clearer I could have been.
344
00:13:30,059 --> 00:13:31,093
Aha!
345
00:13:31,094 --> 00:13:33,562
I think I have a clue.
346
00:13:33,563 --> 00:13:35,597
Glad someone does.
347
00:13:35,598 --> 00:13:37,866
Actually, Sherlock, could
you give us a minute?
348
00:13:37,867 --> 00:13:40,769
Ooh, am I detecting
some trouble in paradise?
349
00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:42,636
Seriously, Derek, walk away!
350
00:13:43,939 --> 00:13:46,241
I'm sorry, I'm off to a bad start here.
351
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,610
Maybe I should skip
ahead to the big surprise.
352
00:13:48,611 --> 00:13:49,977
There's more?
353
00:13:56,818 --> 00:13:58,487
Two tickets to England.
354
00:13:58,488 --> 00:14:00,722
We leave tomorrow!
355
00:14:00,723 --> 00:14:02,964
I cleared your work schedule,
I already packed your bags,
356
00:14:02,965 --> 00:14:05,188
and I have booked us a private
tour of the crown jewels.
357
00:14:05,189 --> 00:14:07,629
Felix, stop trying to fix everything.
358
00:14:07,630 --> 00:14:09,097
This isn't about you.
359
00:14:09,098 --> 00:14:10,399
'Allo.
360
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,334
Pint for the lady. Oh, my God!
361
00:14:12,335 --> 00:14:14,670
Enough with the ridiculous accent
362
00:14:14,671 --> 00:14:16,771
and the stupid fake teeth!
363
00:14:19,007 --> 00:14:20,841
This is Donna, she works here.
364
00:14:24,179 --> 00:14:25,646
Thank you, Donna.
365
00:14:40,910 --> 00:14:42,759
And that's how I found myself
366
00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,928
in a holding cell with
Olympic gymnast Cathy Rigby.
367
00:14:48,196 --> 00:14:49,664
Which brings us to the end
368
00:14:49,665 --> 00:14:51,608
of "Killing Time Because
Chris Bosh is Not Here."
369
00:14:51,609 --> 00:14:53,509
Tune in tomorrow.
370
00:14:54,436 --> 00:14:56,104
I'm sorry, Oscar.
371
00:14:56,105 --> 00:14:57,966
I was supposed to call
to confirm the time,
372
00:14:57,967 --> 00:14:59,243
but I got distracted.
373
00:14:59,244 --> 00:15:00,212
By what?
374
00:15:00,213 --> 00:15:01,837
You should have all
the time in the world
375
00:15:01,838 --> 00:15:03,780
now that Margaret's doing
everything around here.
376
00:15:03,781 --> 00:15:05,515
Okay.
377
00:15:05,516 --> 00:15:09,186
You can't slack off just
because of fancy title.
378
00:15:09,187 --> 00:15:10,654
Mmm-hmm.
379
00:15:10,655 --> 00:15:11,942
Hey, you know what?
380
00:15:11,943 --> 00:15:14,384
You should have Margaret help
you with bookings for the show.
381
00:15:14,385 --> 00:15:15,626
Got it.
382
00:15:15,627 --> 00:15:17,694
And be sure to get her hoagie recipe.
383
00:15:17,695 --> 00:15:19,830
She's not a good assistant!
384
00:15:19,831 --> 00:15:21,931
She's very bad, possibly evil.
385
00:15:22,966 --> 00:15:25,135
Oh, Dani.
386
00:15:25,136 --> 00:15:28,104
Is someone jealous that her
replacement is doing so well?
387
00:15:31,308 --> 00:15:34,678
Margaret, do you have
Oscar's post-show coffee?
388
00:15:34,679 --> 00:15:36,480
Here you go, sir.
389
00:15:36,481 --> 00:15:38,181
Two shots, one sugar.
390
00:15:38,182 --> 00:15:40,182
Ah, just the way I like it.
391
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,221
Ah.
392
00:15:44,222 --> 00:15:45,988
This is mushroom soup.
393
00:15:47,691 --> 00:15:49,226
Oh, fiddlesticks.
394
00:15:49,227 --> 00:15:50,494
That's where my lunch went.
395
00:15:50,495 --> 00:15:51,628
Ah.
396
00:15:51,629 --> 00:15:53,130
Okay, bye-bye, Margaret.
397
00:15:53,131 --> 00:15:55,231
Yeah, just go right
straight through there.
398
00:15:58,168 --> 00:16:00,370
I don't understand...
everything else got done.
399
00:16:00,371 --> 00:16:02,973
I know, because I was doing it.
400
00:16:02,974 --> 00:16:04,508
Why didn't you just fire her?
401
00:16:04,509 --> 00:16:06,750
Because I didn't want you to
know how badly I screwed up,
402
00:16:06,751 --> 00:16:08,294
because then you would know the truth.
403
00:16:08,295 --> 00:16:08,845
Which is?
404
00:16:08,846 --> 00:16:10,514
That I don't deserve this job.
405
00:16:10,515 --> 00:16:12,482
I don't know what you
guys were thinking,
406
00:16:12,483 --> 00:16:15,218
but I'm obviously not producer material.
407
00:16:15,219 --> 00:16:17,321
You might as well make
me an assistant again.
408
00:16:17,322 --> 00:16:20,757
Well, Dani, I thought
you could handle anything.
409
00:16:20,758 --> 00:16:22,892
Guess I was wrong.
410
00:16:23,727 --> 00:16:25,661
Wait, what?
411
00:16:28,398 --> 00:16:29,933
What are you talking about?
412
00:16:29,934 --> 00:16:32,069
Well, first you messed
up by hiring Margaret.
413
00:16:32,070 --> 00:16:33,370
Then you couldn't fire her.
414
00:16:33,371 --> 00:16:34,671
But that's okay,
415
00:16:34,672 --> 00:16:37,074
Not everyone's cut out to be a boss.
416
00:16:37,075 --> 00:16:39,109
I guess not.
417
00:16:39,110 --> 00:16:41,244
Sure, you're sweet and
you're good at doing errands.
418
00:16:41,245 --> 00:16:45,182
But sometimes a producer
has to make the tough calls.
419
00:16:45,183 --> 00:16:47,850
And maybe that's just not your thing.
420
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:53,190
Well I'm off to get my nails done.
421
00:16:53,191 --> 00:16:55,092
Dani said it was okay.
422
00:16:55,093 --> 00:16:56,859
Didn't you, Dani?
423
00:16:59,796 --> 00:17:01,698
Well,
424
00:17:01,699 --> 00:17:05,869
what I actually said was
you can take your tapeworm
425
00:17:05,870 --> 00:17:08,972
and your tiny arsonist and
get your limey ass out of here!
426
00:17:08,973 --> 00:17:10,873
You are fired!
427
00:17:13,443 --> 00:17:15,712
And if you have a problem with that,
428
00:17:15,713 --> 00:17:20,316
you can have your lawyer
call producer Dani Duncan!
429
00:17:22,419 --> 00:17:24,253
She's the boss.
430
00:17:25,322 --> 00:17:26,755
Come on, Noah!
431
00:17:35,047 --> 00:17:36,179
You saw that, right?
432
00:17:36,180 --> 00:17:37,982
It wasn't just me?
433
00:17:38,587 --> 00:17:42,090
Well, looks like someone is
producer material after all.
434
00:17:42,091 --> 00:17:44,526
I know what you did there, Oscar.
435
00:17:44,527 --> 00:17:45,760
And thank you.
436
00:17:45,761 --> 00:17:46,828
Miss Duncan,
437
00:17:46,829 --> 00:17:48,663
May I make you a cup of coffee?
438
00:17:48,664 --> 00:17:50,599
I would love that.
439
00:17:50,600 --> 00:17:53,233
Will you show me how to make a cup...
440
00:18:00,909 --> 00:18:02,611
Everything all right?
441
00:18:02,612 --> 00:18:06,380
Well, I just drank a pint
of beer on the toilet, so...
442
00:18:07,349 --> 00:18:09,084
I've been better.
443
00:18:09,085 --> 00:18:12,420
I'm sorry I've been so tone deaf.
444
00:18:12,421 --> 00:18:14,756
And me with perfect pitch.
445
00:18:14,757 --> 00:18:16,625
You know what?
446
00:18:16,626 --> 00:18:19,594
I think that it's incredibly sweet
447
00:18:19,595 --> 00:18:21,963
that you wanted to give me England.
448
00:18:21,964 --> 00:18:27,135
But I realized that it's
not England that I miss,
449
00:18:27,136 --> 00:18:31,072
but the way that I
felt when I was there.
450
00:18:31,073 --> 00:18:34,643
My whole life, I've
never been on my own.
451
00:18:34,644 --> 00:18:36,978
I went from my parents to my husband
452
00:18:36,979 --> 00:18:39,214
to my sister to you.
453
00:18:39,215 --> 00:18:42,050
Which was great, to be honest,
454
00:18:42,051 --> 00:18:44,219
because I've always
been afraid to be alone.
455
00:18:44,220 --> 00:18:48,123
Then I went to England,
and there was no one there
456
00:18:48,124 --> 00:18:49,758
to make decisions for me.
457
00:18:49,759 --> 00:18:51,159
I had to make them for myself.
458
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:54,896
And it was exhilarating.
459
00:18:54,897 --> 00:18:56,598
I understand.
460
00:18:56,599 --> 00:19:00,101
You got your first
taste of independence.
461
00:19:00,102 --> 00:19:02,085
Ironic it happened in
England, where they frown on
462
00:19:02,086 --> 00:19:03,585
that sort of thing, usually.
463
00:19:05,440 --> 00:19:07,275
And now that I'm home,
464
00:19:07,276 --> 00:19:10,478
I feel like I need to be on my own.
465
00:19:10,479 --> 00:19:12,180
Okay.
466
00:19:12,181 --> 00:19:14,282
I will give you some space.
467
00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:15,468
I will coordinate our schedules
468
00:19:15,469 --> 00:19:17,612
so we don't run into each
other, and then in two weeks
469
00:19:17,614 --> 00:19:19,234
we'll meet up at a neutral location...
470
00:19:20,589 --> 00:19:22,490
I'm doing it again. I'm
sorry, I can't help it.
471
00:19:22,491 --> 00:19:23,925
No, no, it's okay, it's okay.
472
00:19:23,926 --> 00:19:26,528
Look, you take care of people.
473
00:19:26,529 --> 00:19:28,496
And I love that about you.
474
00:19:28,497 --> 00:19:30,532
But...
475
00:19:30,533 --> 00:19:34,601
I need to learn to take care of myself.
476
00:19:35,804 --> 00:19:38,172
So this is happening...
we're breaking up.
477
00:19:41,476 --> 00:19:44,279
Should we get out of here?
478
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:46,223
Actually, if you don't
mind, I think I might stay
479
00:19:46,224 --> 00:19:47,245
and finish my pint.
480
00:19:48,550 --> 00:19:51,620
Not really sure where I am,
481
00:19:51,621 --> 00:19:53,787
since I was blindfolded, but...
482
00:20:11,473 --> 00:20:13,141
Greetings, my loyal...
483
00:20:13,142 --> 00:20:15,409
Walk away, Delores!
484
00:20:34,044 --> 00:20:35,686
Hi, I'm Chris Bosh.
485
00:20:35,687 --> 00:20:37,888
Is this where they record
the Oscar Madison Show?
486
00:20:37,889 --> 00:20:39,022
It is.
487
00:20:39,023 --> 00:20:40,390
Sorry I'm late.
488
00:20:40,391 --> 00:20:42,159
There was a mix-up with the time.
489
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:44,660
You ever have one of those days?
490
00:20:49,966 --> 00:20:52,201
I'll be okay.
491
00:20:52,869 --> 00:20:54,137
Hey, Chris, you made it!
492
00:20:54,138 --> 00:20:55,504
You must be Oscar.
493
00:20:57,340 --> 00:21:00,010
I see you've met Felix.
494
00:21:00,011 --> 00:21:01,912
Is he crying?
495
00:21:01,913 --> 00:21:05,581
No, no, I'm just allergic
to your fabric softener.
496
00:21:06,170 --> 00:21:13,770
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.