1 00:00:02,813 --> 00:00:07,125 Thanksgiving has always been my favorite O'Neal family holiday 2 00:00:07,150 --> 00:00:09,083 because of our traditions. 3 00:00:14,711 --> 00:00:17,579 Traditions like me being Mom's little sous-chef. 4 00:00:20,134 --> 00:00:23,968 Traditions like Shannon standing guard until it's time to eat. 5 00:00:24,202 --> 00:00:25,335 Ow! 6 00:00:26,382 --> 00:00:28,793 Traditions like Dad and Jimmy on the couch 7 00:00:28,827 --> 00:00:30,412 wearing their lucky jerseys 8 00:00:30,437 --> 00:00:32,865 and high-fiving over everything. 9 00:00:36,111 --> 00:00:39,553 And of course our dining table lovingly set by me 10 00:00:39,578 --> 00:00:41,547 with all of the wisdom and strength 11 00:00:41,572 --> 00:00:43,316 of a post-prison Martha Stewart. 12 00:00:43,384 --> 00:00:44,779 Oh, sorry, Kenny. 13 00:00:44,804 --> 00:00:46,429 We got to put the extra leaf in 14 00:00:46,454 --> 00:00:48,703 to make room for Mom and I's plus-ones. 15 00:00:48,728 --> 00:00:51,210 What? You're bringing dates to our family Thanksgiving? 16 00:00:51,235 --> 00:00:53,492 - Yeah. - And our newest tradition... 17 00:00:53,561 --> 00:00:56,968 doing any [bleep] thing we feel like, apparently. 18 00:00:57,180 --> 00:01:01,101 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 19 00:01:01,382 --> 00:01:03,501 - Why? - Why would you invite dates? 20 00:01:03,526 --> 00:01:04,826 Listen, I invited Gloria 21 00:01:04,851 --> 00:01:07,072 because I knew your mother had invited V.P. Murray. 22 00:01:07,141 --> 00:01:09,675 Ugh. V.P. Murray is such a drip. 23 00:01:09,700 --> 00:01:13,576 Well, that drip is a licensed notary... and our guest. 24 00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:16,734 - So you need to be nice to him. - Fine. 25 00:01:16,759 --> 00:01:19,201 I guess if the pilgrims could share food with the Indians, 26 00:01:19,226 --> 00:01:20,593 I could share food with him. 27 00:01:20,618 --> 00:01:21,553 Not what happened. 28 00:01:21,578 --> 00:01:23,937 Hello? Anyone home? Little help. 29 00:01:25,993 --> 00:01:28,093 Guess who's coming to dinner! 30 00:01:28,162 --> 00:01:30,320 The the cat you share custody of with Uncle Dwayne. 31 00:01:30,345 --> 00:01:33,698 That's right, your cousin, sweet, lovable, ancient Mr. Pickles. 32 00:01:33,767 --> 00:01:35,053 He goes back to Dwayne tomorrow, 33 00:01:35,078 --> 00:01:37,500 but I couldn't bear to leave him by himself on the holiday. 34 00:01:41,524 --> 00:01:43,441 Is he still alive? 35 00:01:43,510 --> 00:01:45,442 Barely. I got more stuff in the car. 36 00:01:45,511 --> 00:01:46,944 So, you guys are bringing dates, 37 00:01:47,013 --> 00:01:49,539 and there's a cat fighting for its life in our kitchen. 38 00:01:49,564 --> 00:01:51,492 That's cool. 39 00:01:51,517 --> 00:01:53,517 That's super, super cool. 40 00:01:53,586 --> 00:01:55,786 Yeah, I'm gonna need you to continue the prep without me. 41 00:01:55,855 --> 00:01:58,722 What? But we always do this together. 42 00:01:58,791 --> 00:02:02,006 Yes, but V.P. Murray's having Thanksgiving with his mother, 43 00:02:02,031 --> 00:02:04,086 and I thought it might be nice to meet the woman 44 00:02:04,111 --> 00:02:05,386 who made the man that I'm seeing. 45 00:02:05,431 --> 00:02:08,545 Nice? Is it nice that you're wearing your book-club eye shadow for him? 46 00:02:08,570 --> 00:02:10,501 Yeah, I see it, Mom. 47 00:02:10,526 --> 00:02:13,169 I'm just meeting them for dessert before he comes here. 48 00:02:13,238 --> 00:02:14,656 And luckily, she's one of those insane people 49 00:02:14,681 --> 00:02:16,414 who has Thanksgiving dinner at 11:00 a.m. 50 00:02:16,439 --> 00:02:18,031 So I'll be home in plenty of time. 51 00:02:18,063 --> 00:02:19,883 But who's gonna chiffonade the Brussels sprouts with me? 52 00:02:19,908 --> 00:02:21,244 That is a two-person job. 53 00:02:21,269 --> 00:02:24,214 You'll be fine. I won't be long. 54 00:02:24,524 --> 00:02:26,483 Come on, Shannon, grab your coat. 55 00:02:26,867 --> 00:02:28,397 What? Shannon has to go with you? 56 00:02:28,422 --> 00:02:30,328 That's karma for slapping me. 57 00:02:30,353 --> 00:02:31,945 See ya, wouldn't wanna be ya. 58 00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:33,656 Well, you're gonna see her and be her 59 00:02:33,681 --> 00:02:35,145 because you're coming, too. 60 00:02:39,163 --> 00:02:40,596 Kenny. 61 00:02:40,665 --> 00:02:42,164 I need your advice. 62 00:02:42,233 --> 00:02:45,084 So, I went a little too far on my last date with Gloria 63 00:02:45,109 --> 00:02:46,459 with the skinny jeans. 64 00:02:46,484 --> 00:02:48,738 So this time, I decided to play it a little safer, 65 00:02:48,807 --> 00:02:51,583 and I got myself a pair of boyfriend jeans 66 00:02:51,608 --> 00:02:54,067 in case, you know, she wants me to be her boyfriend. 67 00:02:54,092 --> 00:02:56,011 - It's not what that means. - Whatever. It doesn't matter. 68 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,612 Can you just do me a favor and tell me, 69 00:02:57,681 --> 00:03:00,282 do they make my butt look good? 70 00:03:00,351 --> 00:03:01,881 I... 71 00:03:02,490 --> 00:03:03,530 As far as I'm concerned, 72 00:03:03,555 --> 00:03:05,554 you don't have butt. 73 00:03:05,622 --> 00:03:08,222 So helpful. Really, thank you. 74 00:03:10,756 --> 00:03:12,894 Hey, Kenny. Happy Thanksgiving. 75 00:03:12,963 --> 00:03:14,420 Hm. 76 00:03:14,732 --> 00:03:17,298 Hey, Gloria. You're early. 77 00:03:17,367 --> 00:03:19,233 By like three hours. 78 00:03:19,302 --> 00:03:21,570 It's really nice of your family to have me over for dinner. 79 00:03:21,630 --> 00:03:22,756 If Pat hadn't asked, 80 00:03:22,781 --> 00:03:24,553 I was just gonna have another orphan Thanksgiving. 81 00:03:24,578 --> 00:03:26,274 Hm, with other friends and co-workers 82 00:03:26,299 --> 00:03:28,032 who don't have any family in town. 83 00:03:28,057 --> 00:03:30,778 No, with other adults whose parents are both dead. 84 00:03:30,847 --> 00:03:33,114 Fun story. 85 00:03:33,183 --> 00:03:34,248 Oh, hey. 86 00:03:34,317 --> 00:03:35,816 Well, hello. 87 00:03:35,885 --> 00:03:38,162 Happy Thanksgiving. Gobble, gobble, gobble. 88 00:03:38,187 --> 00:03:39,215 What... what are you... 89 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:40,428 - what are you doing? - What? 90 00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:43,067 What happened to the clothes you had on like 30 seconds ago? 91 00:03:43,092 --> 00:03:45,237 I just wanted to put on something a little more comfortable. 92 00:03:47,730 --> 00:03:49,162 Are you wearing cologne? 93 00:03:49,231 --> 00:03:52,165 No. I just got some new soap. 94 00:03:52,234 --> 00:03:53,776 Maybe that's it. 95 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:57,070 Well, your "soap" smells like cedar 96 00:03:57,095 --> 00:03:59,239 with top notes of citrus and cardamom. 97 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,167 - Eileen. - Hello, Clive. 98 00:04:02,192 --> 00:04:03,683 Hello. 99 00:04:03,987 --> 00:04:06,279 Um, thank you for agreeing to do this. 100 00:04:06,331 --> 00:04:08,970 As I said, Mother's a little prickly, 101 00:04:08,995 --> 00:04:11,370 but the good news is she's not going too long between naps, 102 00:04:11,395 --> 00:04:13,120 so this should be a short visit. 103 00:04:13,145 --> 00:04:15,998 Just do not bring up the cancellation of "The Mentalist." 104 00:04:16,090 --> 00:04:18,324 We should be fine. 105 00:04:18,393 --> 00:04:20,359 I don't think it'll be a problem. 106 00:04:20,428 --> 00:04:22,175 I'll just kill her with kindness. 107 00:04:22,200 --> 00:04:24,363 Oh, God, she's gone Southern. 108 00:04:24,432 --> 00:04:26,365 Mom, when you go overboard with politeness, 109 00:04:26,390 --> 00:04:28,901 you sound like the genteel neighbor in a Tennessee Williams play. 110 00:04:28,926 --> 00:04:31,337 Well, I don't reckon that's true. 111 00:04:31,362 --> 00:04:33,639 Ooh, I find it alluring. 112 00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,940 I'll go get Mother. 113 00:04:35,009 --> 00:04:37,143 And I'll plate the pie. 114 00:04:38,246 --> 00:04:39,278 Ugh. 115 00:04:42,016 --> 00:04:44,147 - This place gives me the creeps. - I know. 116 00:04:44,172 --> 00:04:45,408 Isn't it wonderful? 117 00:04:45,453 --> 00:04:47,386 Wha... why are you so happy? 118 00:04:47,649 --> 00:04:49,181 I hate that we have to be here. 119 00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,947 I hate that Mom is making us hang out with V.P. Murray. 120 00:04:50,972 --> 00:04:52,581 I hate that Mom and Dad aren't together any... 121 00:04:52,606 --> 00:04:54,359 Hey! Do not spin out. 122 00:04:54,428 --> 00:04:55,627 I'm here on a mission... 123 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:58,583 to find awkward childhood photos of V.P. Murray. 124 00:04:58,608 --> 00:05:00,452 I'm gonna blackmail him into giving me free periods 125 00:05:00,477 --> 00:05:02,217 and get-out-of-gym passes. 126 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:04,735 Jackpot. 127 00:05:04,804 --> 00:05:05,937 Forget childhood photos. 128 00:05:06,005 --> 00:05:08,203 I'm getting a strong Norman Bates vibe here. 129 00:05:08,228 --> 00:05:09,649 10 bucks says there is no mother 130 00:05:09,674 --> 00:05:12,677 and V.P. Murray comes out wearing a wig and an old-timey dress. 131 00:05:13,297 --> 00:05:15,246 Oh. What a striking woman. 132 00:05:15,271 --> 00:05:17,792 I'm drawn to her, and I don't know why. 133 00:05:19,775 --> 00:05:23,701 May I introduce my mother, Victoria Pauline Murray. 134 00:05:23,726 --> 00:05:27,109 V.P. Murray's mother is also named V.P. Murray. 135 00:05:27,134 --> 00:05:29,193 You must be James. 136 00:05:29,261 --> 00:05:31,725 You have a earnest and infectious smile 137 00:05:31,750 --> 00:05:33,698 that will serve you well in life. 138 00:05:33,766 --> 00:05:36,700 And you would be Shannon. 139 00:05:36,725 --> 00:05:38,973 Love the glasses. Men love smart women. 140 00:05:38,998 --> 00:05:41,438 You've got the world on a string. 141 00:05:41,981 --> 00:05:44,941 And, um... hm-hm-hm-hm. 142 00:05:45,010 --> 00:05:47,340 Clive, this woman's face reminds me... 143 00:05:47,365 --> 00:05:50,107 the weatherman said there's a cold front coming in this weekend. 144 00:05:50,132 --> 00:05:52,416 and I need you to put up the storm windows. 145 00:05:52,441 --> 00:05:55,052 So much for global warming, liberal media. 146 00:05:55,077 --> 00:05:59,956 Well, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mrs. Murray. 147 00:06:00,025 --> 00:06:02,792 Oh, Clive didn't tell me you were from a trailer. 148 00:06:02,853 --> 00:06:04,084 I'm not. 149 00:06:04,109 --> 00:06:05,929 I'm from Chicago. Yeah. 150 00:06:05,998 --> 00:06:08,297 Born and bred. Go, Cubs. 151 00:06:08,366 --> 00:06:09,506 Yeah. 152 00:06:12,470 --> 00:06:15,438 Beep, beep. Coming through. 153 00:06:16,192 --> 00:06:17,981 Do you have to put that here? I'm trying to cook. 154 00:06:18,006 --> 00:06:20,317 Sorry, but this window has the perfect sun spot 155 00:06:20,342 --> 00:06:22,278 for Mr. Pickles to curl up in. 156 00:06:22,347 --> 00:06:24,675 Plus, it has a view of the backyard. 157 00:06:24,700 --> 00:06:27,847 Mr. Pickles likes to look outside. It gives him the illusion of freedom. 158 00:06:27,872 --> 00:06:29,762 Hey, have you guys ever had sweet potato casserole? 159 00:06:29,787 --> 00:06:30,886 Ooh. 160 00:06:31,192 --> 00:06:32,222 Here. 161 00:06:32,801 --> 00:06:34,323 These are raw sweet potatoes. 162 00:06:34,348 --> 00:06:36,168 Do you know how long it takes to cook a potato? 163 00:06:36,193 --> 00:06:37,893 Yeah, that's why I'm here early. 164 00:06:37,962 --> 00:06:39,817 That's good. 165 00:06:42,999 --> 00:06:44,999 Another blanket, Mother? Still drafty? 166 00:06:45,068 --> 00:06:47,269 No, no, no, I'm hot. 167 00:06:47,337 --> 00:06:49,404 Just remove the middle one. 168 00:06:49,473 --> 00:06:51,473 Well, this was delicious. 169 00:06:51,542 --> 00:06:53,775 Now we need to get back home where we belong. 170 00:06:53,843 --> 00:06:57,251 Uh, we do just have a little tradition here at Chez Murray. 171 00:06:57,276 --> 00:06:58,746 Um, every year after we finish dessert, 172 00:06:58,791 --> 00:07:01,143 we go around the table and say what we're thankful for. 173 00:07:01,168 --> 00:07:02,768 Oh, that's not necessary, Clive. 174 00:07:02,793 --> 00:07:04,596 I'll start. Um... 175 00:07:05,135 --> 00:07:06,620 I am thankful 176 00:07:06,645 --> 00:07:09,540 to have two very special women in my life. 177 00:07:09,565 --> 00:07:12,259 Eileen, you are every man's dream. 178 00:07:12,328 --> 00:07:13,527 Oh. 179 00:07:13,596 --> 00:07:15,163 And, Mother, 180 00:07:15,231 --> 00:07:17,351 you are every boy's dream. 181 00:07:19,843 --> 00:07:24,137 I'm thankful for my birth father. 182 00:07:25,274 --> 00:07:28,309 And I'm thankful for my school father, 183 00:07:28,377 --> 00:07:30,094 who's always looking after me, 184 00:07:30,119 --> 00:07:31,645 especially when my asthma acts up 185 00:07:31,714 --> 00:07:34,869 and I may need to skip gym or have a free period. 186 00:07:34,908 --> 00:07:38,561 And I am thankful for Clive, 187 00:07:38,586 --> 00:07:40,477 for bringing us all together. 188 00:07:40,522 --> 00:07:43,785 You have a beautiful home, and it's a pleasure to meet you. 189 00:07:43,810 --> 00:07:46,727 And I'm thankful this is over. 190 00:07:48,101 --> 00:07:50,129 Oh, Clive, I need you to come by tomorrow 191 00:07:50,198 --> 00:07:52,532 and pull out the Christmas decorations from the basement. 192 00:07:52,601 --> 00:07:54,900 I'll be damned if the Protestants across the street 193 00:07:54,969 --> 00:07:56,736 will get their lights up before I do. 194 00:07:56,804 --> 00:07:58,471 Oh, I feel the same way. 195 00:07:58,540 --> 00:08:01,073 I know what you're doing. You're trying to bond with me. 196 00:08:01,142 --> 00:08:02,709 Well, it won't work. 197 00:08:04,579 --> 00:08:06,511 Well... 198 00:08:06,580 --> 00:08:09,481 - time to go. - I'm not going anywhere. 199 00:08:09,688 --> 00:08:11,717 I'm not leaving until your mother likes me. 200 00:08:11,786 --> 00:08:12,985 That could take forever. 201 00:08:13,054 --> 00:08:14,297 Come on, Mom, it's Thanksgiving. 202 00:08:14,322 --> 00:08:15,921 Sit down! 203 00:08:15,990 --> 00:08:18,235 She goes German when she's angry. 204 00:08:20,613 --> 00:08:23,283 Mother is a very tough cookie. 205 00:08:23,308 --> 00:08:27,290 Actually, more like one of those fossilized Civil War crackers 206 00:08:27,315 --> 00:08:29,533 that historians find in old barns. 207 00:08:29,558 --> 00:08:34,314 Maybe we should get her to warm up to you on another day. 208 00:08:34,339 --> 00:08:36,470 Or... never. 209 00:08:36,495 --> 00:08:40,142 Clive, you don't get a second chance to make a first impression. 210 00:08:40,167 --> 00:08:42,658 And my relationship with Pat was doomed from the start 211 00:08:42,727 --> 00:08:45,776 partly because his mother and I had a bad first meeting. 212 00:08:45,801 --> 00:08:48,331 What could possibly have soured her opinion of you? 213 00:08:48,399 --> 00:08:50,566 I told her I was pregnant. 214 00:08:50,635 --> 00:08:52,784 Then I threw up on her. 215 00:08:52,972 --> 00:08:54,837 And I'm not gonna make that same mistake again. 216 00:08:54,905 --> 00:08:58,517 I'm gonna get your mother to like me the Eileen O'Neal way. 217 00:08:58,542 --> 00:09:01,844 I'm gonna scrub and shine my way into that cold and lifeless heart. 218 00:09:01,869 --> 00:09:03,759 You think her heart is cold? 219 00:09:03,784 --> 00:09:05,513 Try feeling her feet under the covers. 220 00:09:05,582 --> 00:09:08,026 Uh, it was one time. 221 00:09:08,128 --> 00:09:10,151 - The power was out. - Just stop. 222 00:09:12,886 --> 00:09:14,901 Hey, where would I find the salt? 223 00:09:15,745 --> 00:09:17,692 It's literally right next to your hand. 224 00:09:17,761 --> 00:09:19,472 Oh, there it is. 225 00:09:20,487 --> 00:09:22,462 And how about the pepper? 226 00:09:22,487 --> 00:09:24,098 It's attached to the salt. 227 00:09:24,167 --> 00:09:26,267 That's clever. 228 00:09:26,542 --> 00:09:28,251 Uh, do you have basil? 229 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,805 Why would you put basil on a sweet pota... 230 00:09:30,874 --> 00:09:34,134 Actually, yeah. Yeah, we do. 231 00:09:34,159 --> 00:09:36,142 You just have to cut it. 232 00:09:36,167 --> 00:09:38,545 It's just out there in the garden. Go and help yourself. 233 00:09:38,614 --> 00:09:40,628 - B.R.B. - Okay. 234 00:09:40,653 --> 00:09:41,682 Kenny. 235 00:09:41,751 --> 00:09:43,884 I just had this great idea to create a fun, cute, 236 00:09:43,909 --> 00:09:45,579 little romantic moment for me and Gloria. 237 00:09:45,604 --> 00:09:47,932 What is the name of that song from that movie 238 00:09:47,957 --> 00:09:50,001 where they're cooking and they're dancing? You know what I mean? 239 00:09:50,026 --> 00:09:51,769 - I don't... I don't know, Dad. - Yes, you do know. 240 00:09:51,839 --> 00:09:53,353 It's... it's the one where the guys are kind of... 241 00:09:53,378 --> 00:09:55,924 they're doing that. And the girls are... 242 00:09:55,949 --> 00:09:57,581 you know what I mean? That movie? 243 00:09:57,606 --> 00:09:59,950 With the... the... the towel and the oven. 244 00:10:00,019 --> 00:10:01,986 Cher has a really nice singing moment in "Mermaids." 245 00:10:02,054 --> 00:10:04,822 No, Kenny, this is some movie I would go see. 246 00:10:04,890 --> 00:10:06,790 - Well, then... - Shut up. 247 00:10:07,011 --> 00:10:08,401 It's coming. 248 00:10:09,229 --> 00:10:10,995 "Big Chill." 249 00:10:11,063 --> 00:10:13,370 - I knew I'd get it. Thanks, buddy. - Ow. 250 00:10:13,395 --> 00:10:14,675 Okay. 251 00:10:15,503 --> 00:10:17,067 Looking good, guys. 252 00:10:17,136 --> 00:10:19,236 You know, Shannon and I can finish this up. 253 00:10:19,261 --> 00:10:20,514 Why don't you and Jimmy bring your mother's 254 00:10:20,539 --> 00:10:22,072 Christmas decorations up from the basement? 255 00:10:22,141 --> 00:10:24,141 Oh. Come on, son. 256 00:10:24,209 --> 00:10:27,845 - You can be my helper elf. - I am not your son or your elf. 257 00:10:27,913 --> 00:10:32,290 But I have been told I look like a big Orlando Bloom, so okay. 258 00:10:34,588 --> 00:10:38,118 - What do I do with this? - Uh, just, um, toss it. 259 00:10:42,427 --> 00:10:43,926 Okay. 260 00:10:43,995 --> 00:10:46,178 - Doesn't fit. - Well, we'll make it fit. 261 00:10:50,272 --> 00:10:52,301 Oh, you're still here. 262 00:10:52,361 --> 00:10:54,405 You didn't throw away my turkey bones, did you? 263 00:10:54,430 --> 00:10:55,630 I use them for soup. 264 00:10:55,655 --> 00:10:57,881 N... wouldn't dream of it. 265 00:10:57,906 --> 00:10:59,876 Soup sounds fantastic. 266 00:11:02,438 --> 00:11:03,780 Pull it out and reform it. 267 00:11:09,594 --> 00:11:11,687 - Hello. - Hi. When are you coming home? 268 00:11:11,755 --> 00:11:13,522 We should be at number 7 on the checklist by now, 269 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:14,523 and I'm only at number 3. 270 00:11:14,592 --> 00:11:16,158 You are way behind. 271 00:11:16,227 --> 00:11:17,978 I know. It's like a zoo in here... 272 00:11:18,003 --> 00:11:19,252 literally. 273 00:11:19,297 --> 00:11:21,730 I don't even have anywhere to put the chive butter. 274 00:11:21,755 --> 00:11:22,864 Kenny, breathe. 275 00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:25,312 You've watched me do this for years. 276 00:11:25,337 --> 00:11:26,501 You can handle it. 277 00:11:26,526 --> 00:11:29,054 But Gloria used all of my mushrooms. 278 00:11:29,079 --> 00:11:31,539 How am I supposed to make mushroom stuffing without mushrooms? 279 00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:33,993 I can't do this. It's just... it's too overwhelming. 280 00:11:34,018 --> 00:11:36,610 Toughen up, Kenneth. Don't be a stereotype. 281 00:11:47,468 --> 00:11:49,824 Okay, girl. You got this. 282 00:11:52,395 --> 00:11:55,239 Antonia Lofaso, Graham Elliot, and Alex Guarnaschelli? 283 00:11:55,264 --> 00:11:56,583 What are you guys doing here? 284 00:11:56,608 --> 00:11:58,874 I'm, like, a huge fan of you guys. 285 00:11:58,899 --> 00:12:00,868 Aw, that is very sweet, Kenny, 286 00:12:00,893 --> 00:12:02,232 but you have five minutes 287 00:12:02,257 --> 00:12:04,605 to create an entire Thanksgiving meal, 288 00:12:04,673 --> 00:12:06,040 and your time starts now. 289 00:12:06,065 --> 00:12:07,608 - Let's go. - Right. 290 00:12:07,633 --> 00:12:09,877 Guys, the only things he has in his cabinet 291 00:12:09,902 --> 00:12:12,879 are pancake mix, bamboo shoots, and Froot Loops. 292 00:12:12,904 --> 00:12:15,017 This is gonna be a total disaster. 293 00:12:15,042 --> 00:12:16,985 I'm super excited. 294 00:12:17,017 --> 00:12:19,263 All right, so already, he's thinking outside of the box. 295 00:12:19,288 --> 00:12:20,844 He does not have any bread crumbs, 296 00:12:20,869 --> 00:12:23,211 so it's amazing to watch him grinding up these Froot Loops 297 00:12:23,236 --> 00:12:24,758 into like a panko breading. 298 00:12:24,783 --> 00:12:26,926 Froot Loops obviously don't taste like panko, 299 00:12:26,951 --> 00:12:28,419 - but it's a similar mouthfeel. - Mm-hmm. 300 00:12:28,496 --> 00:12:30,529 My family's going through a lot of changes lately. 301 00:12:30,598 --> 00:12:32,600 - Um, my parents are getting a divorce. - _ 302 00:12:32,625 --> 00:12:34,634 They both invited dates to Thanksgiving dinner. 303 00:12:34,702 --> 00:12:36,202 And my mom is... 304 00:12:36,742 --> 00:12:40,373 She's not even here, and we usually do this together, so... 305 00:12:40,441 --> 00:12:42,047 I'm sorry. 306 00:12:42,343 --> 00:12:45,055 I guess, in a way, you could say I'm doing this for her. 307 00:12:45,613 --> 00:12:47,112 Just to be clear, she's still alive. 308 00:12:47,188 --> 00:12:49,492 I want to win on the taste, not sympathy. 309 00:12:52,219 --> 00:12:54,969 Bamboo shoots have the same mouthfeel as mushrooms. 310 00:12:54,994 --> 00:12:56,649 Thanks, Antonia. 311 00:12:59,994 --> 00:13:01,607 Hey, there's the box with the wreaths. 312 00:13:01,632 --> 00:13:03,102 Why don't you hand that to me, and I'll... 313 00:13:03,127 --> 00:13:05,027 put it on the pile going outside. 314 00:13:08,402 --> 00:13:10,402 Hey, Jimmy, I know this is hard on you. 315 00:13:10,470 --> 00:13:12,570 You're a sensitive soul like myself. 316 00:13:12,639 --> 00:13:14,472 But if you have something to say, 317 00:13:14,541 --> 00:13:16,474 I am no longer your vice principal. 318 00:13:16,543 --> 00:13:20,045 I'm upset because the thought of anyone... 319 00:13:20,070 --> 00:13:23,682 getting down with my mom is unsettling. 320 00:13:23,750 --> 00:13:28,653 Well, if it helps, we have not gotten down... yet. 321 00:13:28,722 --> 00:13:31,397 - We have necked. - No, that does not help. 322 00:13:32,506 --> 00:13:33,958 Is that an air hockey table? 323 00:13:34,027 --> 00:13:35,459 Oh, yeah. You play? 324 00:13:35,528 --> 00:13:36,527 Yeah. 325 00:13:36,595 --> 00:13:38,296 You want to take it for a spin? 326 00:13:38,364 --> 00:13:39,803 Maybe. 327 00:13:40,333 --> 00:13:41,498 If we can make it interesting. 328 00:13:41,567 --> 00:13:43,061 Sing along while we play? 329 00:13:43,086 --> 00:13:44,661 No, that's... nope. 330 00:13:44,686 --> 00:13:46,551 I was thinking like a bet. 331 00:13:46,576 --> 00:13:48,372 How about if I beat you, 332 00:13:48,441 --> 00:13:50,273 you have to stop trying to bond with me? 333 00:13:50,343 --> 00:13:53,344 Well, okay. You got yourself a deal. 334 00:13:53,630 --> 00:13:56,164 It's time for air hockey. 335 00:13:57,626 --> 00:13:58,692 It's halftime. 336 00:13:58,717 --> 00:14:00,283 Thought I'd open the wine I brought. 337 00:14:00,353 --> 00:14:02,118 I just need to grab an opener. 338 00:14:03,689 --> 00:14:04,988 Um... 339 00:14:06,424 --> 00:14:09,960 um, can you just indicate where it is with your eyes? 340 00:14:15,968 --> 00:14:17,998 Oh, God, no. No, no, no. 341 00:14:18,023 --> 00:14:19,255 What's happening? 342 00:14:23,281 --> 00:14:25,039 Oh, Lord. 343 00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:27,016 Hey. 344 00:14:27,078 --> 00:14:28,644 Hey. 345 00:14:28,713 --> 00:14:30,312 - Who's cooking? - Oh, yes. 346 00:14:30,382 --> 00:14:32,047 I don't know what's happening, 347 00:14:32,116 --> 00:14:33,583 but it feels very white. 348 00:14:34,986 --> 00:14:37,253 Oh, Kenny. 349 00:14:40,224 --> 00:14:41,490 Why are you even in here? 350 00:14:41,558 --> 00:14:43,558 I mean, you never helped Mom cook once. 351 00:14:43,627 --> 00:14:45,061 And suddenly you're wearing cologne 352 00:14:45,086 --> 00:14:48,430 and... and... and you're kitchen dancing to try to impress your date. 353 00:14:48,686 --> 00:14:50,436 This is a date? 354 00:14:52,069 --> 00:14:53,435 Yes? 355 00:14:53,504 --> 00:14:55,204 Oh. 356 00:14:55,273 --> 00:14:57,240 Oh. 357 00:15:00,778 --> 00:15:02,010 Mr. Pickles! 358 00:15:04,481 --> 00:15:06,748 - What was in this bowl? - Chive butter. 359 00:15:06,817 --> 00:15:08,203 Chives are poisonous to cats. 360 00:15:08,228 --> 00:15:10,519 Why would you put poison in Mr. Pickles' dining room? 361 00:15:10,587 --> 00:15:12,609 Th-that's his dining room? 362 00:15:12,634 --> 00:15:15,836 Yes! It goes bedroom, living room, guest room, dining room. 363 00:15:15,861 --> 00:15:18,059 It's an entertainer's layout. 364 00:15:21,097 --> 00:15:22,117 Where are you going? 365 00:15:22,142 --> 00:15:24,933 Oh, I was just looking for the rest of your cleaning supplies. 366 00:15:25,001 --> 00:15:27,568 - We used up all the Windex. - Don't go in there. 367 00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,982 Why? Is it Clive's old bedroom? 368 00:15:30,007 --> 00:15:32,176 Does he have a lot of embarrassing posters on the walls? 369 00:15:32,201 --> 00:15:33,297 Oh, no, don't... 370 00:15:33,342 --> 00:15:34,408 uh... 371 00:15:34,477 --> 00:15:35,509 Hello. 372 00:15:36,589 --> 00:15:38,211 Did you bring the cranberry sauce? 373 00:15:39,030 --> 00:15:41,042 45. Still going! 374 00:15:44,280 --> 00:15:46,318 - Who is this? - Gary. 375 00:15:46,343 --> 00:15:48,137 Gary is my handyman. 376 00:15:48,162 --> 00:15:52,079 So, then why is Clive coming here tomorrow to put up your storm windows? 377 00:15:52,148 --> 00:15:54,515 - I'm not very handy. - Fine. 378 00:15:54,584 --> 00:15:57,506 I just use him for the man part. 379 00:15:57,687 --> 00:15:59,372 We're lovers... two years. 380 00:15:59,397 --> 00:16:01,455 Clive doesn't know. It would crush him. 381 00:16:01,523 --> 00:16:04,248 The secrecy keeps things exciting. 382 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,728 So, that's why you were rushing us out of here and being so rude to me. 383 00:16:07,796 --> 00:16:10,115 Yes to the first. 384 00:16:10,631 --> 00:16:12,900 Eileen, if you really want me to like you, 385 00:16:12,969 --> 00:16:15,975 then do not tell Clive about Gary. 386 00:16:18,940 --> 00:16:20,374 All right, then. 387 00:16:20,442 --> 00:16:22,576 But I want something in return. 388 00:16:22,644 --> 00:16:25,442 You will be pleasant to me when I see you. 389 00:16:25,467 --> 00:16:28,106 You will pay me three compliments per visit. 390 00:16:28,131 --> 00:16:33,030 And once a month, we have coffee. 391 00:16:33,221 --> 00:16:37,656 Two compliments, and we'll say we had coffee. 392 00:16:38,088 --> 00:16:39,592 Deal. 393 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,038 It all comes down to this. 394 00:16:42,063 --> 00:16:44,931 One more point, and you are out of my life forever. 395 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,944 Unless I score seven consecutive points, 396 00:16:47,969 --> 00:16:50,478 the biggest comeback in air... 397 00:16:50,900 --> 00:16:53,138 Yes! O'Neal! Whoo! 398 00:16:53,207 --> 00:16:56,432 I think you're very good. I've only ever played this with Mother. 399 00:16:56,807 --> 00:16:59,111 It's been nice getting to know you over this brief period of time. 400 00:16:59,179 --> 00:17:02,681 Um, from here on in, I'll stay out of your way. 401 00:17:02,750 --> 00:17:04,650 Yeah, good. 402 00:17:04,719 --> 00:17:06,484 - Good. - Okay. 403 00:17:06,553 --> 00:17:09,187 - Best two out of three? - You are on like "Donkey Kong." 404 00:17:09,256 --> 00:17:12,817 Which is another game I have somewhere in this basement. 405 00:17:12,842 --> 00:17:14,592 Is that it over there? 406 00:17:14,661 --> 00:17:16,289 Whoo! 407 00:17:16,596 --> 00:17:19,697 I'm sorry Gloria didn't know you guys were on a date. 408 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,178 And that I saw you dancing. 409 00:17:23,194 --> 00:17:27,204 Well, listen, you were right. I never did that stuff with Mom. 410 00:17:27,273 --> 00:17:31,709 And that was because she really took charge a lot of the time. 411 00:17:31,778 --> 00:17:34,958 I guess after a while, I just kind of stopped trying. 412 00:17:34,983 --> 00:17:36,600 I get that. 413 00:17:36,625 --> 00:17:39,616 Just the next time you're trying to reinvent yourself, maybe... 414 00:17:39,685 --> 00:17:42,255 maybe you don't do it on a national holiday. 415 00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:43,889 That's fair. 416 00:17:44,390 --> 00:17:46,157 The tie and the cologne are kind of nice. 417 00:17:46,225 --> 00:17:47,374 Well, thank you very much. 418 00:17:47,399 --> 00:17:49,693 That means a lot coming from you because you're gay. 419 00:17:49,762 --> 00:17:50,794 Okay. 420 00:17:51,374 --> 00:17:54,397 Just another couple of hours while they pump Mr. Pickles' little stomach. 421 00:17:54,422 --> 00:17:55,632 But he's gonna be okay. 422 00:17:55,701 --> 00:17:58,168 He didn't die on my watch. Suck it, Dwayne! 423 00:17:59,572 --> 00:18:01,472 It was really nice to meet you. 424 00:18:01,497 --> 00:18:04,130 Oh, the pleasure was all mine. 425 00:18:04,155 --> 00:18:08,545 - And...? - You have nice hair, clean teeth. 426 00:18:08,614 --> 00:18:10,914 We should have coffee. That should suffice. 427 00:18:10,983 --> 00:18:12,748 - I'll call you. - Okay. 428 00:18:13,070 --> 00:18:14,903 Oh, Clive. Don't forget. 429 00:18:14,936 --> 00:18:16,519 Tomorrow, the storm windows, 430 00:18:16,588 --> 00:18:19,322 and Saturday, I need you to clean the roof gutters. 431 00:18:19,347 --> 00:18:22,592 Oh, I can't this weekend. I'm running a 5K for charity. 432 00:18:22,660 --> 00:18:23,693 Oh. 433 00:18:23,761 --> 00:18:25,761 Well, maybe I can do it myself. 434 00:18:25,830 --> 00:18:27,196 Just hope I don't fall. 435 00:18:27,221 --> 00:18:29,331 No, I'm a bad son. 436 00:18:29,356 --> 00:18:33,168 I'll withdraw from the race and clean your gutters instead. 437 00:18:33,237 --> 00:18:36,266 A lot of those whales can probably just save themselves. 438 00:18:36,305 --> 00:18:40,891 Victoria, don't you have a handyman who could clean your gutters for you? 439 00:18:41,266 --> 00:18:42,945 No, I don't. 440 00:18:43,014 --> 00:18:44,516 Are you sure? 441 00:18:45,002 --> 00:18:46,268 Quite. 442 00:18:47,906 --> 00:18:49,172 Your mother has a lover, 443 00:18:49,197 --> 00:18:51,452 and I found him eating turkey in the spare room. 444 00:18:51,477 --> 00:18:52,679 Oh! 445 00:18:52,704 --> 00:18:54,679 So you don't have night terrors. 446 00:18:54,704 --> 00:18:56,302 That's just the sound of your lovemaking. 447 00:18:56,327 --> 00:18:58,727 You're right, that is unsettling. 448 00:18:58,795 --> 00:19:00,095 I'm unsettled. 449 00:19:00,164 --> 00:19:01,763 For two years she's been catting around 450 00:19:01,788 --> 00:19:03,798 with a drifter named Gary. 451 00:19:03,867 --> 00:19:05,579 I thought you wanted me to like you. 452 00:19:05,604 --> 00:19:08,269 Well, I'm dating Clive, and it's more important that he likes me 453 00:19:08,338 --> 00:19:10,960 and that we build our relationship on truth. 454 00:19:10,985 --> 00:19:12,440 In the spirit of honesty, 455 00:19:12,509 --> 00:19:15,000 we fished your turkey carcass out of the trash. 456 00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:17,914 So don't make soup out of it because it's not sanitary. 457 00:19:18,204 --> 00:19:20,814 - Mm, thanks for that. - Oh, instead of changing the batteries 458 00:19:20,883 --> 00:19:22,316 out of your smoke detectors next month, 459 00:19:22,385 --> 00:19:23,751 I'm booking an Alaskan cruise. 460 00:19:23,819 --> 00:19:26,620 Oh, and, Gary, you can go [bleep] yourself, bro. 461 00:19:26,689 --> 00:19:28,756 Oh. 462 00:19:33,688 --> 00:19:35,366 Oh, hey, guys. 463 00:19:35,391 --> 00:19:38,165 Your dad and I wanted to apologize. 464 00:19:38,233 --> 00:19:40,000 Yesterday was kind of a mess. 465 00:19:40,069 --> 00:19:43,571 Yes, we... Maybe Thanksgiving isn't for dates. 466 00:19:43,639 --> 00:19:45,172 - We're still new to this. - Yeah. 467 00:19:45,240 --> 00:19:46,562 No, we get it. 468 00:19:46,609 --> 00:19:50,202 So, what's for Black Friday breakfast? 469 00:19:50,976 --> 00:19:53,780 I have some leftover turkey and potatoes. I could make us a hash. 470 00:19:53,859 --> 00:19:55,415 I'll help. 471 00:19:55,484 --> 00:19:58,569 Mm. You know what? I got this. 472 00:19:58,912 --> 00:20:00,537 - Really? - Yeah. 473 00:20:00,562 --> 00:20:04,787 I can make us some cranberry pancakes, too. 474 00:20:04,826 --> 00:20:06,952 - Yes. - Ow! 475 00:20:07,366 --> 00:20:09,829 Sometimes, when you get rid of old traditions, 476 00:20:09,898 --> 00:20:11,831 you make room for new ones. 477 00:20:11,900 --> 00:20:14,177 No matter where life takes us, 478 00:20:14,202 --> 00:20:17,103 we will always have Thanksgiving dinner together 479 00:20:17,171 --> 00:20:18,771 on Friday morning. 480 00:20:23,584 --> 00:20:28,193 Uh, Chefs, today I have for you a braised pork belly 481 00:20:28,218 --> 00:20:31,352 with pickled radishes and a miso and soy broth. 482 00:20:32,216 --> 00:20:35,260 So, Kenny, this tastes like a good idea 483 00:20:35,329 --> 00:20:37,528 that was eaten by a bad idea 484 00:20:37,597 --> 00:20:39,831 and then was thrown up by a terrible idea. 485 00:20:39,899 --> 00:20:41,404 Thank you, Chef. 486 00:20:41,429 --> 00:20:44,068 It's so terrible. I mean, it makes me angry. 487 00:20:44,093 --> 00:20:46,271 Like, really angry, like I want to punch it, wrestle it, 488 00:20:46,296 --> 00:20:48,473 throw it against a wall, punch it again. 489 00:20:48,541 --> 00:20:50,740 - It's bad. - Thank you, Chef. 490 00:20:50,966 --> 00:20:55,748 This is overseasoned, overdone, overcooked, and underwhelming. 491 00:20:56,282 --> 00:21:00,005 Thank you, Chef. All good notes. 492 00:21:00,185 --> 00:21:03,520 Um, does this mean I'm going on to the next round? 493 00:21:06,320 --> 00:21:10,453 Synced and corrected by Aaronnmb www.addic7ed.com 494 00:21:14,426 --> 00:21:16,192 Can you just tell me? 495 00:21:16,217 --> 00:21:17,406 Kenny, you know how this goes. 496 00:21:17,431 --> 00:21:18,735 We have to go to a commercial break. 497 00:21:18,804 --> 00:21:21,371 Right. Cool. Cool.