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♪ ♪
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"As Malcolm bent the 17-year-old Sally
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over the lip of his tanker desk,
he thought back to her baptism."
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What the shit?!
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"That summer day in '73, every car radio
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"blaring 'Search and Destroy,'
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"a warm rain lashing down
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like sweat flinging off a
groupie's bouncing tits."
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It's like being molested by
an audio book. What is this?
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"The Width of a Peach." My masterpiece
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of multi-generational
sexploitative literature.
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Why the hell
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would you read me literature?
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You know I don't like good things.
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Last night, you said that
I would never be successful.
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Well, I stayed up all night
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and wrote 35 amazing
pages just to spite you.
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So, ha! Consider yourself
thoroughly spited.
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Ha!
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Cool.
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Okay, I take back the thing I said.
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You will be successful.
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Thank you!
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(laptop clatters)
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Now it's your turn.
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I'm proud of me, too.
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No, Jimmy! It's your turn to take back
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the mega-harsh thing you said to me.
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And then, voila, everything
goes back to Normal Town,
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et cetera, et cetera...
a little makeup boneage.
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Maybe some titty massages for Jimmy.
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Wait, what exactly am
I meant to take back?
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(imitates Jimmy): "I can't see
myself having kids with her."
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Oh, that.
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No, I'm 100% sticking by that.
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Hey, can we do this titty
massage on the patio?
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I just want to keep an eye
on the hummingbird feeder.
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- Jimmy!
- You have dropped
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eight iPhones in the last year,
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one into a vat of
ranch at Souplantation.
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Child-rearing
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requires skill.
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It's not the same as binge-watching
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a season of Exemplify.
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You a Gamergater? Am I
living with a Gamergater?
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LINDSAY: Quiet, already!
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Why is Lindsay here?
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She dumped Paul hard.
I said she could crash.
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Mmm...
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- Oh, my...
- (Jimmy sighs)
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(sighs): Ah...
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What?
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I'm supposed to wear
pajamas like an old?
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Mmm...
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♪ ♪
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♪ I'm gonna leave you anyway ♪
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♪ I'm gonna leave you anyway ♪
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♪ Gonna leave you anyway. ♪
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- synced and corrected by DaddyBear -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Wakey-wakey.
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I just wrapped up an
early-morning shift
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cleaning a frat house
after a "Colonial Bros
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and Nava-hos" party.
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Got the puke cleaned up,
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but the racism and
cultural appropriation
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are gonna leave a stain.
Hey, I brought pastries.
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Okay, but do you want
to talk about last night?
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Oh, my God. I was so drunk.
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I think I might have hit
up a Del Taco drive-through.
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I'm missing my side mirror, and
my fingers smell like hot sauce.
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- Wait. You drove yourself home?
- Sure.
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Drunk driving is easy.
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It's just like playing a video game.
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You totally freaked
out on me last night.
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Well, you took me to a
wedding, and then you ditched me
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to work on sketch ideas.
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Who are you, Will Sasso?
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This is my first writing job.
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I didn't know anybody,
and you abandoned me.
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Yeah. Well, okay, I can see how that...
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oh, was really sucky of me.
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It was. Thank you.
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You know, I'm happy for you.
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I mean, shit, I'm a liberal.
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God knows I should applaud
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when an underrepresented
voice gets heard.
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You mean veterans?
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Yeah. That, too.
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Hey, you want a pastry?
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I-I just want to make sure
that you aren't implying
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that I was hired just
because I'm Latino.
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What? Of course not.
I don't even see race.
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Hey, when did they
put this awesome eagle
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on the Italian flag?
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♪ ♪
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(knock on door)
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(knock on door)
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Paul?
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What you did was unspeakable!
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Unconscionable!
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- Indefensible!
- Indedibble-dobble!
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How could you abort that
baby without telling me?
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It wasn't a baby, Paul. It
was just a bunch of cells.
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You destroyed our family!
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Name one family that's
just a bunch of cells.
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Osmosis Jones.
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Why does everyone keep doing that?
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What made you think you had the right
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to make that decision for us?
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My body, my choice.
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It's not that cut-and-dried
when you're married.
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My body, my choice.
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There's a difference between
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claiming your reproductive rights
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and behaving like a complete...
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- My body, my choice.
- Stop saying that!
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No, Paul. You stop.
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Me and my sisters,
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we fought for this
right for millenniums.
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This is why Margaret
Thatcher went to prison.
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Can you please put on some clothes
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while we have this conversation?
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No, Paul. My body, my choice.
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And now,
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I choose to go outside and smoke.
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Because it's my body.
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My choice.
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That's right, sucka.
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(door closes)
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Look, I admit it is a
good thing, okay, yes.
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Sometimes minorities get
jobs over white people,
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even when they're
both equally qualified,
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or maybe the minority is
slightly less qualified.
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But I think that that
is good for the world,
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and I simply got you these
cool and funky pastries
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'cause they're cool and funky,
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not because they're Latino, or whatever.
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Here, try one. They're "pan dulthes."
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(snickers) Wait. What are you saying?
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"Pan dulthes."
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Edgar, they're "pan dulthes."
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I pronounce everything
with a Castilian "S,"
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because I studied
abroad in "Barthelona."
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For you to say that I have
the advantage is insulting.
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I mean, if anyone has
the advantage, it's you.
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- How do I have the advantage?
- (chuckles)
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You're a white girl.
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There's literally a part
for you in every script
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that's ever been written.
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Not Glengarry Glen Ross
or 700 Sundays.
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Besides, don't you read?
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People just, like, they hate women now.
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You don't even have to hide it anymore.
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Yeah, well, you never read,
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"Cut to funny brown guy
with perfect features."
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- You have the advantage.
- Yeah.
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Because it's such an advantage to be
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constantly sexually harassed.
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And it's so advantageous to only be cast
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as "Pretty Girl Number
3" or "Overworked Mom."
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I thought you didn't
book "Overworked Mom."
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And it's such an advantage to
be slut-shamed for six years
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because I accidentally
sucked Brian Dunkleman's dick
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'cause I thought he was Chris Hardwick.
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Look, can we at least agree that
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the true enemy here is the white male?
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JIMMY: Whoa!
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Not me. I'm an immigrant.
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Our story
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is so tragic.
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Do you know how many
of us drown every day
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trying to get over here?
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And the true villain is
the white American male.
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Bad things happen to
white American men, too.
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Real bad things.
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You know, why don't
I let you white people
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tell me how bad you all have it.
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Jesus!
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Oh, look, wife.
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I'm about to rip my lung tissue asunder
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with the devil's tobacco
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because my life has been
destroyed by the woman I love!
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Your body, your choice.
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You know, I almost left you.
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When Vernon and I were
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lost in the woods,
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he wanted to bail and go live in Mexico.
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I should have gone
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and started my life anew,
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like John McAfee, software millionaire!
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- Shoulda-woulda-coulda!
- JIMMY: Right.
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Can you two idiots
do this at your place?
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No! If you send them
home, her wishy-washy ass
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will be lured back into that
suck-butt marriage by lunch.
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Shut up, Gretchen!
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- You shut up!
- Aw, shit!
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00:08:08,341 --> 00:08:11,042
Fine. Then just go and
fight in my room. Our room.
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But don't touch anything, don't sit,
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and hands off the bed booze.
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(sighs)
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♪ ♪
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What?!
203
00:08:33,433 --> 00:08:35,934
Nothing. I just...
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Sometimes I look at you and I think,
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"How did this person get in my house?"
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It's like I've lost
the thread of a novel,
207
00:08:43,443 --> 00:08:45,009
and all of a sudden, there's this
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00:08:45,078 --> 00:08:46,911
messy short woman
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00:08:46,980 --> 00:08:49,314
who's clearly important to the story.
210
00:08:49,382 --> 00:08:51,616
So, I'm flipping back, thinking,
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00:08:51,685 --> 00:08:54,652
"I don't remember that
character being introduced."
212
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Tell me about it! Some days
it's like I un-blacked out
213
00:08:57,324 --> 00:09:00,358
from a week-long bender, and
now I'm in this weird-ass house
214
00:09:00,427 --> 00:09:02,193
with sharp corners.
215
00:09:02,262 --> 00:09:05,330
My mate was supposed to be so different.
216
00:09:05,398 --> 00:09:07,999
Classy, unbruised,
217
00:09:08,068 --> 00:09:09,534
a first-chair violinist
218
00:09:09,603 --> 00:09:11,502
for the Philharmonic. (chuckles)
219
00:09:11,571 --> 00:09:13,237
God, can you imagine it?
220
00:09:13,306 --> 00:09:16,474
Me in the wings of Disney Hall.
221
00:09:16,543 --> 00:09:18,977
And we wave good-bye
to the other musicians,
222
00:09:19,045 --> 00:09:20,545
and I joke about
223
00:09:20,614 --> 00:09:21,980
what a drag it must be
224
00:09:22,048 --> 00:09:25,450
for Igor to haul that double bass home.
225
00:09:25,518 --> 00:09:27,385
And then Dudamel does
a champagne spit-take
226
00:09:27,454 --> 00:09:29,520
and shakes his head at me like,
227
00:09:29,589 --> 00:09:32,457
(Venezuelan accent): "Oh,
Jimmy, you are too much."
228
00:09:32,525 --> 00:09:34,325
- (laughs)
- How am I not
229
00:09:34,394 --> 00:09:38,296
arm candy for some international
movie star with a giant dong?
230
00:09:38,365 --> 00:09:39,697
- Yeah.
- He's part owner of
231
00:09:39,766 --> 00:09:41,332
a cool tech company
232
00:09:41,401 --> 00:09:44,135
and invents apps when he's not
dick-punching Peter Sarsgaard
233
00:09:44,204 --> 00:09:45,870
in his latest movie. Sometimes,
234
00:09:45,939 --> 00:09:49,374
we talk about adopting a kid
from a third-world country,
235
00:09:49,442 --> 00:09:50,775
but we never do it.
236
00:09:51,878 --> 00:09:53,811
And we live in a legit-ass castle
237
00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,681
in Malibu with one of
those big modern art pieces
238
00:09:56,750 --> 00:09:59,283
by the guy who does the big dots.
239
00:09:59,352 --> 00:10:00,518
What? Lichtenstein?
240
00:10:00,587 --> 00:10:02,987
- Yeah. A big old Lichtenstein.
- Wow.
241
00:10:03,056 --> 00:10:06,491
How very sophomore year art
history of you. (chuckles)
242
00:10:06,559 --> 00:10:09,394
You definitely shouldn't
decorate your own house.
243
00:10:09,462 --> 00:10:10,395
(laughs, gasps)
244
00:10:17,412 --> 00:10:18,412
(knock on door) Knock, knock.
245
00:10:19,181 --> 00:10:24,518
White lady visiting from the
Aryan zone. You still mad?
246
00:10:27,756 --> 00:10:29,890
- You think that I want you to struggle?
- Think about it.
247
00:10:29,959 --> 00:10:32,859
When we first met, I was
your insecure student.
248
00:10:32,928 --> 00:10:35,629
Then I was your vet boyfriend with PTSD.
249
00:10:35,698 --> 00:10:38,065
Then I was a stoner with no future.
250
00:10:38,133 --> 00:10:41,134
But the second I get
a tiny bit of success,
251
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you freak out.
252
00:10:42,605 --> 00:10:46,540
You forced me to engage
in acts of sexual deviance.
253
00:10:46,609 --> 00:10:48,275
But you started this!
254
00:10:48,344 --> 00:10:51,412
You threw your bike onto the street,
255
00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:54,048
and said we were new
people, and I put on
256
00:10:54,116 --> 00:10:56,250
that whole Napron-wearing,
good wifey act,
257
00:10:56,319 --> 00:10:58,519
even though I was dying on the inside.
258
00:10:58,587 --> 00:11:01,188
You went along with it for 20 minutes.
259
00:11:01,257 --> 00:11:02,656
And then you stabbed me!
260
00:11:02,725 --> 00:11:04,825
You want me to hide
my bees under a bushel.
261
00:11:04,894 --> 00:11:07,127
You use your niceness to stifle me,
262
00:11:07,196 --> 00:11:08,996
and then you make me feel guilty.
263
00:11:09,065 --> 00:11:10,364
You stabbed me!
264
00:11:10,433 --> 00:11:11,999
We both did things we regret.
265
00:11:12,068 --> 00:11:14,101
Relationships are messy.
266
00:11:14,170 --> 00:11:16,704
You're actually tearing
apart my hypothetical fantasy.
267
00:11:16,772 --> 00:11:18,172
Now you want to tell me
268
00:11:18,240 --> 00:11:20,374
what I can and can't imagine?
269
00:11:20,443 --> 00:11:22,343
You admitted that you
don't like good things.
270
00:11:22,411 --> 00:11:23,944
I'm just confirming that.
271
00:11:24,013 --> 00:11:25,980
You should seriously shut up
272
00:11:26,048 --> 00:11:28,482
sometimes, Jimmy. Just
shut all the way up.
273
00:11:28,551 --> 00:11:32,119
I mean, what if I did make
something of myself? Hmm?
274
00:11:32,188 --> 00:11:37,324
If I did rise up there
to your level, why?
275
00:11:38,961 --> 00:11:42,529
Because I am not up there!
276
00:11:42,598 --> 00:11:43,630
Okay?
277
00:11:43,699 --> 00:11:45,099
I am down!
278
00:11:45,167 --> 00:11:47,935
I am the downest that I have ever been.
279
00:11:48,004 --> 00:11:49,470
You want messy?!
280
00:11:49,538 --> 00:11:51,805
I'll show you messy!
281
00:11:53,743 --> 00:11:54,908
(yells)
282
00:11:54,977 --> 00:11:56,577
Oh, no, Paul!
283
00:11:56,645 --> 00:11:57,978
Now you're going to have bad luck.
284
00:11:58,047 --> 00:12:00,614
I have bad luck!
285
00:12:00,683 --> 00:12:02,549
You're my bad luck!
286
00:12:02,618 --> 00:12:05,185
God! You're so selfish.
287
00:12:05,254 --> 00:12:08,522
There is something
seriously wrong with you.
288
00:12:08,591 --> 00:12:11,058
Why did I marry you?
289
00:12:11,127 --> 00:12:12,226
Why?!
290
00:12:12,294 --> 00:12:14,061
(grunts)
291
00:12:14,130 --> 00:12:15,929
- Look, if your fantasy is so fragile...
- Picking, pick, pick.
292
00:12:15,998 --> 00:12:17,798
- ... that I'm able to dismantle it...
- Pick at everything I say and do.
293
00:12:17,867 --> 00:12:19,700
- ... then maybe it wasn't so great to begin with.
- I'm sick of living
294
00:12:19,769 --> 00:12:21,435
underneath your highfalutin
surveillance state.
295
00:12:21,504 --> 00:12:22,836
Plus, "hypothetical
fantasy" is redundant.
296
00:12:22,905 --> 00:12:24,171
I just silenced the judgy
mom voice in my head.
297
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:26,006
I don't need another one from you.
298
00:12:26,075 --> 00:12:27,908
LINDSAY: Stop using
your big voice at me!
299
00:12:27,977 --> 00:12:29,843
DOROTHY: Don't hug
me. Just let me be sad!
300
00:12:29,912 --> 00:12:33,781
PAUL: I'll use my big voice
at you whenever I want!
301
00:12:33,849 --> 00:12:36,850
I'm only using my big
voice with you now!
302
00:12:36,919 --> 00:12:38,485
(Paul continues shouting)
303
00:12:41,524 --> 00:12:42,689
(scoffs)
304
00:12:46,095 --> 00:12:47,361
(sniffles)
305
00:12:47,430 --> 00:12:49,730
(chuckles)
306
00:12:49,799 --> 00:12:51,665
You... Come on.
307
00:12:54,070 --> 00:12:55,536
You had a rough month.
308
00:12:57,273 --> 00:12:58,705
You'll bounce back.
309
00:12:58,774 --> 00:13:00,741
I'm a 30-something failed actress
310
00:13:00,810 --> 00:13:05,079
living in a disgusting K-Town studio.
311
00:13:05,147 --> 00:13:07,648
I haven't been to the dentist in years.
312
00:13:07,716 --> 00:13:10,017
My agent told me to gain 20 pounds
313
00:13:10,086 --> 00:13:12,586
so that I could at least
audition to be the kooky aunt.
314
00:13:12,655 --> 00:13:13,921
(sobs)
315
00:13:15,791 --> 00:13:17,791
(yells) Oh, God!
316
00:13:17,860 --> 00:13:19,693
(grunting)
317
00:13:23,199 --> 00:13:25,732
Oh, God. You ruined my life!
318
00:13:25,801 --> 00:13:28,735
Why?! Why did you do it?!
319
00:13:28,804 --> 00:13:30,704
- Paul.
- (groaning)
320
00:13:30,773 --> 00:13:32,673
Look at me.
321
00:13:32,741 --> 00:13:35,542
- (panting)
- Paul.
322
00:13:35,611 --> 00:13:39,079
You knew it was a snake
when you picked it up.
323
00:13:40,483 --> 00:13:42,149
What?
324
00:13:42,218 --> 00:13:44,251
You knew who I was.
325
00:13:45,921 --> 00:13:48,722
You don't get to act surprised now.
326
00:13:48,791 --> 00:13:50,557
♪ ♪
327
00:13:56,432 --> 00:13:57,264
(phone beeps)
328
00:14:05,774 --> 00:14:08,742
Becca and Vernon had their baby.
329
00:14:08,811 --> 00:14:11,078
It's a girl.
330
00:14:13,516 --> 00:14:14,982
Tallulah.
331
00:14:16,318 --> 00:14:18,252
Ew. (phone vibrates)
332
00:14:18,320 --> 00:14:21,221
(chuckles, sniffles)
333
00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:23,090
Becca had her baby.
334
00:14:28,631 --> 00:14:29,663
(phones chime)
335
00:14:33,769 --> 00:14:35,135
(sighs)
336
00:14:35,204 --> 00:14:38,372
Dorothy's crying. It's very mucous-y.
337
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,241
Lindsay's just reciting the
spoken word parts of "Lemonade."
338
00:14:41,310 --> 00:14:42,609
(scoffs)
339
00:14:42,678 --> 00:14:44,545
Such idiots.
340
00:14:44,613 --> 00:14:46,947
We're no better than them.
341
00:14:47,016 --> 00:14:48,916
Oh, speak for yourself.
342
00:14:48,984 --> 00:14:50,851
I'm not the one who flung my sandwich
343
00:14:50,920 --> 00:14:53,387
like a upset chimp at the zoo.
344
00:14:53,455 --> 00:14:55,322
I threw it because I
realized I was living
345
00:14:55,391 --> 00:14:56,990
with an uptight dildo
346
00:14:57,059 --> 00:14:58,559
whose personality unmakes itself
347
00:14:58,627 --> 00:15:00,561
anytime something bad happens.
348
00:15:00,629 --> 00:15:04,565
Says the woman who spent
weeks catatonic on the couch
349
00:15:04,633 --> 00:15:06,533
in crusty yoga pants.
350
00:15:06,602 --> 00:15:09,203
- I have a clinical goddamn illness!
- Oh, right.
351
00:15:09,271 --> 00:15:13,040
So you just win because your
condition is listed in the DSM?
352
00:15:13,108 --> 00:15:15,475
No! I win because I am
doing something about it.
353
00:15:15,544 --> 00:15:17,344
You're just lashing out
354
00:15:17,413 --> 00:15:18,679
and putting me under a microscope!
355
00:15:18,747 --> 00:15:20,380
It just happened!
356
00:15:21,684 --> 00:15:23,450
He just died.
357
00:15:23,519 --> 00:15:25,319
Right, I am still grieving, Gretchen.
358
00:15:25,387 --> 00:15:26,553
Jesus Christ!
359
00:15:26,622 --> 00:15:28,422
- But I was there first!
- Where?!
360
00:15:28,490 --> 00:15:30,424
Here! In shit, miserable!
361
00:15:30,492 --> 00:15:32,859
There just isn't room
362
00:15:32,928 --> 00:15:35,862
for you to be broken right now, too.
363
00:15:35,931 --> 00:15:38,432
Oh, that...
364
00:15:38,500 --> 00:15:40,167
that is complete...
365
00:15:40,236 --> 00:15:41,201
(exhales)
366
00:15:44,340 --> 00:15:45,706
How is that okay?
367
00:15:45,774 --> 00:15:46,940
It's not.
368
00:15:47,009 --> 00:15:49,343
It is completely unfair.
369
00:15:49,411 --> 00:15:51,979
No. This is not supposed to...
370
00:15:52,047 --> 00:15:54,848
One person is supposed
to be in the hospital bed.
371
00:15:54,917 --> 00:15:57,651
And then the other uncomfortably
sleeping on that little couch,
372
00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,553
just sneaking home to shower and...
373
00:15:59,622 --> 00:16:01,121
(voice breaks): and walk the dog.
374
00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:02,623
- Right?
- (exhales)
375
00:16:02,691 --> 00:16:06,193
Right, Jimmy.
376
00:16:06,262 --> 00:16:07,194
And yet...
377
00:16:17,416 --> 00:16:19,882
JIMMY: I said don't touch anything!
378
00:16:20,111 --> 00:16:22,078
I knew it was a snake.
379
00:16:22,147 --> 00:16:23,379
Get out!
380
00:16:23,448 --> 00:16:25,314
(sighs)
381
00:16:31,923 --> 00:16:34,157
You told me we could leave any time.
382
00:16:34,225 --> 00:16:36,092
- Right.
- So why didn't you?
383
00:16:36,161 --> 00:16:37,927
I've been mean. I have been angry.
384
00:16:37,996 --> 00:16:39,996
I've been judging you.
385
00:16:40,064 --> 00:16:42,465
Which was our one promise,
from the beginning.
386
00:16:42,534 --> 00:16:44,066
If you were serious about leaving,
387
00:16:44,135 --> 00:16:45,768
then you would have gone by now.
388
00:16:45,837 --> 00:16:47,403
- You didn't leave, either.
- I know.
389
00:16:47,472 --> 00:16:48,438
I don't know why.
390
00:16:48,506 --> 00:16:51,307
I think this may be impossible.
391
00:17:00,385 --> 00:17:03,953
But can't that be okay?
392
00:17:04,022 --> 00:17:09,559
I mean, the-the vast
majority of all human effort,
393
00:17:09,627 --> 00:17:12,895
however great or
miniscule, ends in failure.
394
00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:14,764
So, what are your options?
395
00:17:16,301 --> 00:17:18,734
You just ad-admit pre-defeat
396
00:17:18,803 --> 00:17:21,604
because the odds are that
you're gonna be right?
397
00:17:21,673 --> 00:17:23,706
Or you do it anyway?
398
00:17:27,879 --> 00:17:29,745
(sighs)
399
00:17:31,082 --> 00:17:32,482
Maybe we're a success...
400
00:17:32,550 --> 00:17:33,950
(chuckles softly)
401
00:17:34,018 --> 00:17:35,518
... regardless of the outcome,
402
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:38,554
because... we tried.
403
00:17:40,792 --> 00:17:42,558
Maybe there's beauty in the struggle
404
00:17:42,627 --> 00:17:44,694
against near certain failure.
405
00:17:44,762 --> 00:17:45,962
Is that enough?
406
00:17:46,030 --> 00:17:47,897
A beautiful struggle?
407
00:17:47,966 --> 00:17:49,832
Maybe. It's all gonna suck one day,
408
00:17:49,901 --> 00:17:51,801
so enjoy it now, stop rocking the boat,
409
00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:53,703
and that is goddamn it?!
410
00:18:01,412 --> 00:18:02,979
It's like in my book.
411
00:18:03,047 --> 00:18:04,647
Ugh, no more book.
412
00:18:04,716 --> 00:18:05,848
Gretchen tired.
413
00:18:05,917 --> 00:18:07,149
In chapter 12,
414
00:18:07,218 --> 00:18:09,018
Kitty is headed to Lisbon
415
00:18:09,087 --> 00:18:10,586
to follow Take That on tour,
416
00:18:10,655 --> 00:18:13,322
but instead she stays with Simon,
417
00:18:13,391 --> 00:18:16,859
though they have no possible future.
418
00:18:16,928 --> 00:18:18,794
Oh, my God! That's makes perfect sense.
419
00:18:18,863 --> 00:18:21,063
That's why they stay together.
420
00:18:21,132 --> 00:18:23,132
They are mirrors of you and I.
421
00:18:23,201 --> 00:18:25,001
Theirs is a love forbidden,
422
00:18:25,069 --> 00:18:27,737
thus... doomed.
423
00:18:27,805 --> 00:18:28,905
Why is it forbidden?
424
00:18:28,973 --> 00:18:30,273
Well, because they're half-siblings.
425
00:18:30,341 --> 00:18:31,274
Wait, what?!
426
00:18:31,342 --> 00:18:32,475
Jimmy, we talking incest?
427
00:18:32,544 --> 00:18:34,176
How did you miss that?
428
00:18:34,245 --> 00:18:35,478
I wasn't listening that good.
429
00:18:35,547 --> 00:18:36,879
Look, when I came up with this story,
430
00:18:36,948 --> 00:18:38,648
I was, I was falling in love with you...
431
00:18:38,716 --> 00:18:40,116
e-even though it was,
432
00:18:40,184 --> 00:18:42,184
it was scary and-and wrong.
433
00:18:42,253 --> 00:18:45,087
I thought that I was
avoiding my feelings
434
00:18:45,156 --> 00:18:47,023
by writing my book, but it was you
435
00:18:47,091 --> 00:18:48,891
who was fueling me
436
00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,326
this whole time.
437
00:18:50,395 --> 00:18:53,229
Fueling you to write about
a couple of horny sibs?
438
00:18:53,298 --> 00:18:54,430
Give me.
439
00:18:57,735 --> 00:18:59,468
Show me the part you
cranked out last night
440
00:18:59,537 --> 00:19:00,603
when you were all upset.
441
00:19:00,672 --> 00:19:02,171
Oh, no way.
442
00:19:02,240 --> 00:19:05,308
If you're experiencing
the sweeping psychodrama
443
00:19:05,376 --> 00:19:07,276
of The Width of a Peach,
444
00:19:07,345 --> 00:19:08,477
you're starting at the beginning.
445
00:19:08,546 --> 00:19:10,046
(chuckles)
446
00:19:10,114 --> 00:19:11,380
Chapter one.
447
00:19:11,449 --> 00:19:13,449
"A deep, orgasmic moaning
448
00:19:13,518 --> 00:19:15,952
"came from behind the
undersized attic door,
449
00:19:16,020 --> 00:19:17,486
"while far above,
450
00:19:17,555 --> 00:19:20,122
"a German Sprengbombe Cylindrisch 1000
451
00:19:20,191 --> 00:19:22,592
"was falling towards
Catherine Wheel Alley,
452
00:19:22,660 --> 00:19:26,629
City of London, Post Code EC2N4RQ."
453
00:19:26,698 --> 00:19:27,930
Why do we need the post...
454
00:19:27,999 --> 00:19:30,299
Good writing is detailed.
455
00:19:30,368 --> 00:19:31,968
Shh.
456
00:19:33,771 --> 00:19:37,440
Oh, I've been so jealous and awful.
457
00:19:37,508 --> 00:19:39,108
I've been trying to
get a job for so long,
458
00:19:39,177 --> 00:19:40,676
and then when it happened
for you so quickly,
459
00:19:40,745 --> 00:19:42,645
I just... couldn't handle it.
460
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:44,113
Hey...
461
00:19:44,182 --> 00:19:47,450
I was so intimidated by
you in our first class.
462
00:19:47,518 --> 00:19:50,686
You did the whole intro in
that fake Norwegian accent.
463
00:19:51,856 --> 00:19:53,556
My insecure vampire character.
464
00:19:53,625 --> 00:19:54,523
Mm-hmm.
465
00:19:54,592 --> 00:19:55,691
"Velcome to class.
466
00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:57,193
"I vant to suck your blood...
467
00:19:57,261 --> 00:19:58,861
(laughing) "because I suck.
468
00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:01,897
Does this cape make my fangs look fat?"
469
00:20:05,036 --> 00:20:06,502
God, I was funny, huh?
470
00:20:06,571 --> 00:20:08,270
You still are.
471
00:20:09,907 --> 00:20:12,308
(phone ringing)
472
00:20:12,377 --> 00:20:13,609
I'll be right back.
473
00:20:15,980 --> 00:20:18,381
Edgar. Doug Benson, DB Industries.
474
00:20:18,449 --> 00:20:20,216
Listen, I love your sketch ideas.
475
00:20:20,284 --> 00:20:22,163
Still chuckling over
"Lying Lawyer is a Liar."
476
00:20:22,286 --> 00:20:25,187
I'm putting together a writers'
room for three months and I need
477
00:20:25,256 --> 00:20:26,555
you in it, starting Monday.
478
00:20:26,624 --> 00:20:28,791
Uh, y-yes.
479
00:20:28,860 --> 00:20:30,493
Y-Yes, Mr. Benson, of course.
480
00:20:30,561 --> 00:20:31,560
Okay, I got to go.
481
00:20:31,629 --> 00:20:32,995
I'm eating sushi
482
00:20:33,064 --> 00:20:34,296
off this Israeli model's naked bod
483
00:20:34,365 --> 00:20:35,865
and the toro is getting warm.
484
00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:37,500
(woman giggles)
485
00:20:37,568 --> 00:20:38,401
Oh.
486
00:20:40,571 --> 00:20:41,771
DOUG: Say hi, Tova.
487
00:20:43,708 --> 00:20:45,374
Hmm. Who was that?
488
00:20:45,443 --> 00:20:47,610
Uh...
489
00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:48,811
my job.
490
00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:50,179
I-I have to go in Monday,
491
00:20:50,248 --> 00:20:51,614
uh, to the gym.
492
00:20:51,683 --> 00:20:53,683
Uh, someone knocked a door
493
00:20:53,751 --> 00:20:55,818
off of the shower stall...
494
00:20:55,887 --> 00:20:57,887
- in the men's locker room.
- Colby and Travis?
495
00:20:57,955 --> 00:21:00,389
We'll never know.
496
00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:01,791
- But, yeah, obviously.
- (laughs)
497
00:21:07,699 --> 00:21:08,831
(whispers): Yes.
498
00:21:15,526 --> 00:21:18,961
You thought you could master
me, but I'm a person, Paul.
499
00:21:19,029 --> 00:21:20,696
I'm not one of your hobbies.
500
00:21:20,764 --> 00:21:22,197
You're right.
501
00:21:22,266 --> 00:21:25,534
I wanted a family so badly,
I was willing to look past
502
00:21:25,603 --> 00:21:28,904
the septendecillion pieces
of evidence that screamed,
503
00:21:28,973 --> 00:21:31,039
"We are wrong for each other."
504
00:21:31,108 --> 00:21:34,034
Think you can stay here
a little bit longer?
505
00:21:34,111 --> 00:21:35,978
Just until we get our affairs in order?
506
00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,713
Of course.
507
00:21:42,453 --> 00:21:44,753
I guess... in the end,
508
00:21:44,822 --> 00:21:47,656
we were just two stars
born light-years apart.
509
00:21:47,716 --> 00:21:49,116
You need to find someone
510
00:21:49,185 --> 00:21:50,817
in your own constellation, Lindsay.
511
00:21:50,886 --> 00:21:53,453
Oh, Bear.
512
00:21:53,522 --> 00:21:55,355
Mm.
513
00:21:58,661 --> 00:22:01,495
So you'll throw away the prenup?
514
00:22:01,564 --> 00:22:04,097
(exhales)
515
00:22:04,166 --> 00:22:06,133
You stabbed me.
516
00:22:06,202 --> 00:22:09,503
You cuckolded me.
517
00:22:09,572 --> 00:22:12,206
You ruined my life.
518
00:22:16,545 --> 00:22:18,212
Better lawyer up, bitch.
519
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:19,980
(gasps)
520
00:22:35,998 --> 00:22:38,398
JIMMY: "Simon watched
the man exit the motel,
521
00:22:38,467 --> 00:22:40,567
"and they were alone again.
522
00:22:40,636 --> 00:22:42,469
"He, gazing at her,
523
00:22:42,538 --> 00:22:45,005
"she, staring at her own reflection.
524
00:22:45,074 --> 00:22:47,841
"Both of them were
watching the same thing,
525
00:22:47,910 --> 00:22:50,644
the tears filling Kitty's eyes."
526
00:22:50,713 --> 00:22:52,512
(sighs softly)
527
00:22:54,016 --> 00:22:56,216
Dude, keep going!
528
00:22:56,285 --> 00:22:59,019
I need to know what happens
with Kitty and Simon and Bug.
529
00:22:59,088 --> 00:23:00,721
I'm so worried about Bug.
530
00:23:00,789 --> 00:23:01,855
Well, that's all I wrote.
531
00:23:01,924 --> 00:23:03,690
Well, go finish it.
532
00:23:03,759 --> 00:23:05,058
You know how it ends, right?
533
00:23:05,127 --> 00:23:07,027
I do now.
534
00:23:08,230 --> 00:23:10,764
But first...
535
00:23:10,833 --> 00:23:12,933
I need to rest my eyes.
536
00:23:13,002 --> 00:23:15,502
I've been up for two days.
537
00:23:16,705 --> 00:23:18,538
Come here.
538
00:23:25,681 --> 00:23:27,881
♪ ♪
539
00:23:27,950 --> 00:23:30,150
We didn't solve anything.
540
00:23:32,521 --> 00:23:34,388
I know.
541
00:23:35,858 --> 00:23:37,724
Okay.
542
00:23:39,662 --> 00:23:42,729
♪ This year, I'll spend November ♪
543
00:23:42,798 --> 00:23:45,699
♪ In the house ♪
544
00:23:45,768 --> 00:23:48,101
♪ August sort of stifled... ♪
545
00:23:48,170 --> 00:23:50,170
Shit.
546
00:23:50,239 --> 00:23:51,471
That's nine.
547
00:23:52,741 --> 00:23:54,374
♪ It's coyness, boy ♪
548
00:23:54,443 --> 00:23:57,811
♪ That caught you out ♪
549
00:23:58,900 --> 00:24:01,231
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