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00:00:04,608 --> 00:00:08,976
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/
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LINDA:
♪ La, la, la ♪
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00:00:21,006 --> 00:00:23,674
♪ Going to the accountant,
gonna do our taxes ♪
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00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:26,243
♪ At the last minute,
we're adults ♪
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00:00:26,244 --> 00:00:28,077
♪ Responsible adults, yeah! ♪
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00:00:28,113 --> 00:00:30,046
That's a beautiful song, Linda.
Where's it from?
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00:00:30,081 --> 00:00:31,548
No, Teddy, we
really are going
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00:00:31,549 --> 00:00:33,017
to the accountant
to do our taxes.
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00:00:33,018 --> 00:00:34,752
We probably
shouldn't have waited
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00:00:34,753 --> 00:00:37,254
until the last possible moment
on the last possible day,
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00:00:37,255 --> 00:00:39,023
but it is kind of
our tradition.
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00:00:39,024 --> 00:00:41,258
Aw, that's true!
So special.
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00:00:41,259 --> 00:00:42,960
I don't know
why you guys need an accountant.
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It's fun to do your own taxes.
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No. Mm... no.
It's fine.
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00:00:46,431 --> 00:00:49,733
Our accountant isn't that
expensive, and he's really good.
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00:00:49,734 --> 00:00:51,468
Or pretty good. He's fine.
Yeah.
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00:00:51,469 --> 00:00:54,238
We go for an hour, we pretend
to laugh at his jokes.
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00:00:54,239 --> 00:00:55,639
Ugh, the jokes.
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Then we're done
for the year.
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00:00:57,108 --> 00:00:58,876
Why do you pretend to
laugh at his jokes?
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00:00:58,877 --> 00:01:00,544
Well, he's in charge
of our money, Teddy.
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00:01:00,545 --> 00:01:02,046
We have to be nice to him.
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00:01:02,047 --> 00:01:03,580
I mean, I think
he takes away a dependent
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00:01:03,581 --> 00:01:04,982
every time we don't laugh.
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00:01:04,983 --> 00:01:07,618
Well, good luck with that.
I'm going down to the docks.
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00:01:07,619 --> 00:01:09,085
I'm helping out
with Lobsterfest.
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Ugh. Lobsterfest.
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What's wrong with Lobsterfest?
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There's too much lobster.
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00:01:13,325 --> 00:01:15,758
Yeah, that's this year's theme:
too much lobster!
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00:01:15,794 --> 00:01:17,227
All right, well,
have fun.
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00:01:17,228 --> 00:01:19,063
You, too, going
to the accountant.
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00:01:19,064 --> 00:01:20,931
Hey, Accountantfest.
Too much taxes!
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Yup.
(groans)
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Okay. Bye, Teddy!
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TINA:
Whoa. Eye contact.
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00:01:32,911 --> 00:01:35,245
Did I just have significant
E.C. with Joe Harrison?
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00:01:35,246 --> 00:01:37,080
It felt like it.
That's weird.
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00:01:37,115 --> 00:01:39,083
I barely know him. Hmm.
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00:01:39,084 --> 00:01:40,483
Look at me again.
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00:01:40,518 --> 00:01:42,985
Look at me. Look at me. Ugh!
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Joe, where do you think
you're going?
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You have detention,
young man.
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00:01:46,458 --> 00:01:48,458
(sighs)
Fine.
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00:01:48,493 --> 00:01:49,726
TINA:
Detention, huh?
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Ugh! Reading is dumb!
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00:01:51,463 --> 00:01:53,596
Tina, what is going on?
Your mom.
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00:01:53,631 --> 00:01:55,432
What?!
Is dumb.
50
00:01:55,433 --> 00:01:56,999
And reading is dumb.
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00:01:57,035 --> 00:01:58,369
You just earned
yourself detention.
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Got it.
Sorry about all that.
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00:02:00,305 --> 00:02:02,005
Well, I'm sorry, too. Maybe
you don't need detention...
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Shove it!
Oh, okay, definitely detention.
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TINA: Eyes on the prize,
which is Joe's eyes.
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LINDA:
I can't believe
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00:02:09,347 --> 00:02:10,881
Tina got detention.
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00:02:10,882 --> 00:02:12,316
We needed her
to babysit you two.
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00:02:12,317 --> 00:02:13,616
Mom, we've been
over this.
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00:02:13,651 --> 00:02:15,519
Gene and I are
fine by ourselves.
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00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:17,721
You let us babysit Aunt Gayle
whenever you go out of town,
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and she's a handful.
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00:02:19,357 --> 00:02:22,126
Mm. I don't know.
Bob, what do you think?
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00:02:22,127 --> 00:02:25,996
I guess. I mean, it is just
an hour, and we'll be close by.
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00:02:25,997 --> 00:02:28,498
All right, but I'm
setting a lot of rules.
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00:02:28,533 --> 00:02:30,033
Don't open the door
to anybody.
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00:02:30,034 --> 00:02:32,069
What if it's a guy with a gun
and he really needs to pee?
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00:02:32,070 --> 00:02:33,035
No.
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00:02:33,071 --> 00:02:34,638
And don't use the stove
or knives
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or the bathtub or matches.
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00:02:36,241 --> 00:02:38,207
Well, then how are we gonna
have a hot knife bath?
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00:02:38,243 --> 00:02:39,810
And if anyone calls for us,
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say that we're home,
but we're... pooping.
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00:02:41,980 --> 00:02:44,347
No, say I'm in the shower,
but I look good for my age.
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Guys, guys, we got it.
We'll be fine. I'm in charge.
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You don't have anything
to worry about.
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Well, technically,
Gene's in charge.
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00:02:50,255 --> 00:02:52,321
He is?
I am? Yes.
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00:02:52,357 --> 00:02:53,990
He's your big brother, Louise.
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00:02:54,025 --> 00:02:55,426
I mean, big brother?
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00:02:55,427 --> 00:02:57,594
I think of him more
as a large brother.
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No offense.
Yes, offense!
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It's just, you
don't really do
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the traditional
big brother stuff.
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You don't call me squirt,
you aren't good at baseball,
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and I have to give
you a piggyback ride
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when your legs get tired.
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Just 'cause
Dad's not strong enough.
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00:03:10,508 --> 00:03:12,543
Louise, Gene is older
than you though,
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00:03:12,544 --> 00:03:14,477
so I guess
your mother has a point.
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00:03:14,512 --> 00:03:17,414
Yeah! I'm large and
in charge. Literally.
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(laughs):
Okay.
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(quietly): Don't worry.
I'll keep an eye on him.
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00:03:21,019 --> 00:03:22,752
Now get out of here,
you crazy kids. Go!
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00:03:22,787 --> 00:03:24,388
We'll be back
in an hour.
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00:03:24,389 --> 00:03:25,789
Remember what I told you.
Yup.
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Okay, bye bye. Bye.
Yup.
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(door opens, closes)
So, forbidden snack time?
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As your king, I declare
them unforbidden!
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I like how you think.
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TINA:
Moment of truth.
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It's just me and Joe.
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And all these other kids.
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00:03:41,072 --> 00:03:43,607
Time to figure out
if lightning strikes twice.
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00:03:43,608 --> 00:03:45,007
In our eyes.
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00:03:45,043 --> 00:03:47,044
I have the perfect angle.
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Don't sit down there.
No, no, no, no. Damn it!
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Okay, okay,
I can maybe still see Joe.
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(groaning)
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Just a casual lean.
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No big deal.
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Almost there.
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Almost...
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(gasps)
I'm okay.
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GERALD:
Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-Ba-
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Ba-Ba-Belchers!
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Hey, guys. You pumped
to get these taxes done or what?
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00:04:07,966 --> 00:04:10,366
Yup. Love 'em.
Love taxes. (whoops)
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Cool. 'Tis the season.
That's what I always say.
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♪ Fa-la-la-la-la,
la-la-la tax. ♪
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(both laughing)
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You guys want some water
or anything before we get started?
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I'll have my secretary
grab some. Just kidding.
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I don't have a secretary.
(laughs)
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(chuckles)
Oh. It's very funny.
126
00:04:26,818 --> 00:04:28,151
You guys want
a butterscotch cookie?
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One of my clients
made them for me.
128
00:04:29,921 --> 00:04:31,220
They look delicioso.
129
00:04:31,256 --> 00:04:34,291
Mmm. Oh, my God,
these are good!
130
00:04:34,292 --> 00:04:36,593
Bob?
Uh, sure, I'll have one.
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00:04:36,594 --> 00:04:39,128
Ooh, I'll have
one more. Mmm. Good.
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00:04:39,163 --> 00:04:41,265
All right, let me just
pull out my tax-ophone.
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And tune it up.
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(imitating saxophone music)
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00:04:44,269 --> 00:04:47,236
Okay, let's just
get started, could we?
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00:04:47,272 --> 00:04:48,738
LOUISE:
Okay, let's make sure
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00:04:48,773 --> 00:04:50,374
we're on the
same page here.
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00:04:50,375 --> 00:04:52,943
We're making 17 layer dip, correct?
Correct.
139
00:04:52,944 --> 00:04:55,979
But we won't put in a 13th layer
because it's bad luck.
140
00:04:55,980 --> 00:04:57,648
I'm going to visit
the produce drawers
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00:04:57,649 --> 00:04:59,115
and look for mom's
hidden bacon bits
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00:04:59,150 --> 00:05:00,650
that she thinks
we don't know about.
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00:05:00,685 --> 00:05:02,953
(gasps) Xanadu.
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00:05:02,954 --> 00:05:04,555
Gene. Come. See.
145
00:05:04,556 --> 00:05:06,289
What is it?
146
00:05:06,324 --> 00:05:08,024
It's softer than
147
00:05:08,059 --> 00:05:09,493
the tops of Dad's legs.
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00:05:09,494 --> 00:05:11,161
Oh, I know exactly
what it is.
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00:05:11,162 --> 00:05:12,563
It's a cantaloupe.
150
00:05:12,564 --> 00:05:14,398
Remember when Mom put
it under her shirt
151
00:05:14,399 --> 00:05:16,066
at the grocery
store and pretended
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00:05:16,067 --> 00:05:17,968
she had another boob, and
then they made her buy it?
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00:05:17,969 --> 00:05:19,803
(gasps)
That was three years ago!
154
00:05:19,804 --> 00:05:22,072
We got to throw it.
Wh-What?
155
00:05:22,073 --> 00:05:24,508
We got to throw it off the fire
escape into the back alley.
156
00:05:24,509 --> 00:05:26,176
Yes! Wait, maybe no.
157
00:05:26,177 --> 00:05:28,512
This seems like
possibly a bad idea
158
00:05:28,513 --> 00:05:30,314
that could get us
into trouble.
159
00:05:30,315 --> 00:05:32,849
And I guess
I'm in charge, so...
160
00:05:32,850 --> 00:05:34,318
Gene, don't overthink it.
161
00:05:34,319 --> 00:05:36,152
This is a once-in-a-lifetime
opportunity.
162
00:05:36,187 --> 00:05:37,854
We've never been
home alone before,
163
00:05:37,855 --> 00:05:40,557
and we've never found
a rotten cantaloupe before.
164
00:05:40,558 --> 00:05:42,859
Are you saying this is
proof there's a God?
165
00:05:42,860 --> 00:05:44,528
I'm not saying it isn't.
166
00:05:44,529 --> 00:05:46,496
Gene, when life hands you
moldy melons,
167
00:05:46,497 --> 00:05:48,332
you make moldy melon-ade.
168
00:05:48,333 --> 00:05:50,901
All right, let's do it.
Let's throw a melon!
169
00:05:50,902 --> 00:05:54,003
That's the spirit!
There you go, large bro!
170
00:05:55,373 --> 00:05:56,707
TINA:
Joe.
171
00:05:56,708 --> 00:05:58,508
Joe, Joe, Joe.
172
00:05:58,509 --> 00:06:00,744
I've never even thought
about Joe that way before,
173
00:06:00,745 --> 00:06:03,347
but maybe he's been thinking
about me that way all along.
174
00:06:03,348 --> 00:06:05,681
Maybe today, he looked
at himself in the mirror,
175
00:06:05,717 --> 00:06:07,117
and he said, "Today's the day
176
00:06:07,118 --> 00:06:08,752
that you tell Tina
how you feel."
177
00:06:08,753 --> 00:06:10,621
He's probably a mess right now.
178
00:06:10,622 --> 00:06:12,856
I've got to make eye contact
again. I... (groans)
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00:06:12,857 --> 00:06:14,558
I can't see him from
this position though!
180
00:06:14,559 --> 00:06:16,960
All right,
time to turn my desk.
181
00:06:16,961 --> 00:06:18,695
Detention is two hours.
182
00:06:18,696 --> 00:06:21,098
If I move the desk
an inch every five minutes,
183
00:06:21,099 --> 00:06:23,567
I'll be able to see Joe's eyes
in about 90 minutes.
184
00:06:23,568 --> 00:06:25,101
Here goes.
FROND: Tina.
185
00:06:25,136 --> 00:06:26,202
No moving your desk.
186
00:06:26,237 --> 00:06:27,437
TINA:
Damn it!
187
00:06:27,438 --> 00:06:29,338
I'll find another way.
Wait for me, Joe.
188
00:06:29,374 --> 00:06:30,941
Okay. I just
want to verify
189
00:06:30,942 --> 00:06:34,378
that this year your retirement
contribution was... zero.
190
00:06:34,379 --> 00:06:36,213
That sounds right.
(phone rings)
191
00:06:36,214 --> 00:06:37,714
Oh, I'm sorry,
I have to get that.
192
00:06:37,715 --> 00:06:39,149
I sent Pamela home
early today.
193
00:06:39,150 --> 00:06:40,584
(laughs) Just...
194
00:06:40,585 --> 00:06:41,918
Remember? (laughs)
195
00:06:41,919 --> 00:06:43,119
There's nobody there.
196
00:06:43,154 --> 00:06:44,086
I-I remember.
197
00:06:44,122 --> 00:06:45,555
Hello. This is Gerald.
198
00:06:45,556 --> 00:06:46,957
Oh, hey, Tim.
199
00:06:46,958 --> 00:06:49,059
Yeah, I've got
the cookies right here.
200
00:06:49,060 --> 00:06:50,727
Okay.
201
00:06:50,728 --> 00:06:54,430
Under no circumstances
should we eat these cookies?
202
00:06:54,465 --> 00:06:56,132
Oh, my God.
Oh, my... What?
203
00:06:56,167 --> 00:06:57,901
Right, but... (laughs)
204
00:06:57,902 --> 00:07:00,270
Let's just say
maybe we ate some.
205
00:07:00,271 --> 00:07:02,805
Mm. I-I had two.
206
00:07:02,840 --> 00:07:04,174
Uh, I-I only
had one.
207
00:07:04,175 --> 00:07:05,608
I had three, hello!
208
00:07:05,643 --> 00:07:07,944
Okay, well, uh,
thanks for telling us.
209
00:07:07,945 --> 00:07:09,445
Bye.
Gerald,
210
00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:10,880
what's happening?
What's going on?
211
00:07:10,915 --> 00:07:13,183
Uh, it turns out
the cookies I gave you
212
00:07:13,184 --> 00:07:15,751
have marijuana in them...
a lot of it.
213
00:07:15,787 --> 00:07:16,520
Oh, no.
214
00:07:16,521 --> 00:07:17,521
I-I guess
215
00:07:17,522 --> 00:07:19,089
Tim made two batches of cookies.
216
00:07:19,090 --> 00:07:20,357
These were for his mom.
217
00:07:20,358 --> 00:07:23,259
She apparently ate hers
and didn't get high, so...
218
00:07:23,294 --> 00:07:24,828
Oh, no. No, no,
no, no, no.
219
00:07:24,829 --> 00:07:26,963
We can't get stoned
in the middle of the day.
220
00:07:26,964 --> 00:07:28,497
We're old. We have kids!
221
00:07:28,533 --> 00:07:29,932
Oh, God. This is bad.
222
00:07:29,967 --> 00:07:32,502
Stupid cookies!
They were good though.
223
00:07:32,503 --> 00:07:34,603
Maybe I'll just have one more.
Lin, no.
224
00:07:34,639 --> 00:07:36,806
Gene, we are
about to make history.
225
00:07:36,841 --> 00:07:38,942
And here we...
226
00:07:38,943 --> 00:07:40,910
Uh-oh.
...go!
227
00:07:40,945 --> 00:07:42,311
(distorted):
No...!
228
00:07:42,346 --> 00:07:43,647
Aah!
229
00:07:43,648 --> 00:07:45,848
What the...?!
Ugh, dude.
230
00:07:45,883 --> 00:07:47,516
Oh, my God.
Is that Logan?
231
00:07:47,552 --> 00:07:49,553
(chuckles)
232
00:07:49,554 --> 00:07:50,986
Oh, wow.
233
00:07:51,022 --> 00:07:53,390
Oh, wow, wow, wow.
234
00:07:53,391 --> 00:07:55,658
Louise Belcher.
235
00:07:55,693 --> 00:07:57,660
Hide. Hide. Hide. Hide.
Hide. Hide. Hide. Hide.
236
00:07:57,695 --> 00:08:01,198
(laughs)
Oh, you just made my day.
237
00:08:01,199 --> 00:08:03,900
I wanted to work out
some of this hostility
238
00:08:03,901 --> 00:08:05,534
I'm feeling all the time,
239
00:08:05,570 --> 00:08:08,205
which Dr. Swanson says
is totally normal,
240
00:08:08,206 --> 00:08:11,173
but I was like,
how am I gonna do that?
241
00:08:11,209 --> 00:08:12,409
Now I know.
242
00:08:12,410 --> 00:08:14,344
I'm gonna clear my schedule
243
00:08:14,345 --> 00:08:17,780
so that I can make your lives
a living hell!
244
00:08:17,815 --> 00:08:20,050
Uh, I think you forgot about
that thing you have today!
245
00:08:20,051 --> 00:08:22,455
Remember that thing?
You can't miss that thing!
246
00:08:24,473 --> 00:08:26,274
You are dead, Louise Belcher!
247
00:08:26,275 --> 00:08:28,308
(chuckles): Okay, look,
that was an accident.
248
00:08:28,344 --> 00:08:31,179
A hilarious accident
that I wish I had on video.
249
00:08:31,180 --> 00:08:33,981
You don't have to get all
crazy-face mad about it, okay?
250
00:08:34,016 --> 00:08:35,550
Logan, come on.
Let's hit the park.
251
00:08:35,551 --> 00:08:37,285
You guys go.
I'm gonna figure out
252
00:08:37,286 --> 00:08:39,419
how to ruin Louise's life
for a while.
253
00:08:39,455 --> 00:08:41,255
All right, dude.
We believe in you.
254
00:08:41,290 --> 00:08:43,657
Well, we're gonna go inside
and watch TV now.
255
00:08:43,692 --> 00:08:45,560
Fine. I'm just gonna
go around front,
256
00:08:45,561 --> 00:08:48,262
ring the doorbell and
tell your parents what you did.
257
00:08:48,297 --> 00:08:49,998
Well, joke's on you
because they aren't home.
258
00:08:49,999 --> 00:08:51,531
Yeah!
259
00:08:51,567 --> 00:08:54,302
Oh, your parents aren't home?
Interesting.
260
00:08:54,303 --> 00:08:56,436
That expands my options.
261
00:08:56,472 --> 00:08:59,007
Well, our boyfriend is
coming over any minute
262
00:08:59,008 --> 00:09:01,308
and he has a Bowflex!
263
00:09:03,979 --> 00:09:05,779
I don't...
I don't think I'm high.
264
00:09:05,814 --> 00:09:07,281
Me neither.
265
00:09:07,316 --> 00:09:08,782
I feel like I'm peeing.
266
00:09:08,817 --> 00:09:10,017
Am I peeing right now?
267
00:09:10,052 --> 00:09:11,486
Bob, can you check?
268
00:09:11,487 --> 00:09:13,921
So, are-are our taxes,
like, mostly done?
269
00:09:13,956 --> 00:09:16,957
Wow, look at all these numbers.
270
00:09:16,992 --> 00:09:17,958
Oh, boy.
271
00:09:17,993 --> 00:09:19,394
What are they, right?
272
00:09:19,395 --> 00:09:21,962
How do we assign value
to symbols?
273
00:09:21,997 --> 00:09:24,165
I swear I'm peeing.
Bob, can someone see?
274
00:09:24,166 --> 00:09:25,934
Will you please stop?
Stop peeing?
275
00:09:25,935 --> 00:09:27,669
No, stop saying
"I'm peeing."
276
00:09:27,670 --> 00:09:28,769
Am I pretty?
277
00:09:30,105 --> 00:09:32,572
TINA: Okay, time to take
bold action.
278
00:09:32,608 --> 00:09:33,573
May I go to the restroom?
279
00:09:33,609 --> 00:09:34,609
(sighs) Fine.
280
00:09:34,610 --> 00:09:36,143
But no dawdling.
281
00:09:36,178 --> 00:09:38,745
TINA: And now for the slight
head turn.
282
00:09:38,781 --> 00:09:41,848
Keep it casual, and...
283
00:09:41,884 --> 00:09:43,583
♪ The briefest of glances ♪
284
00:09:43,619 --> 00:09:45,852
♪ Can start
the biggest romances ♪
285
00:09:45,888 --> 00:09:48,755
♪ Our eyes were doing
the dances and they were ♪
286
00:09:48,791 --> 00:09:51,091
♪ Making advances ♪
287
00:09:51,126 --> 00:09:53,294
♪ When our eyes met,
I was like, hey, now ♪
288
00:09:53,295 --> 00:09:55,996
♪ I bet that Joe
could be the one... ♪
289
00:09:56,031 --> 00:09:57,531
FROND: Tina!
What?
290
00:09:57,566 --> 00:09:59,033
What are you doing?
You're just standing there.
291
00:09:59,034 --> 00:10:00,667
Are you gonna
go to the bathroom or not?
292
00:10:00,703 --> 00:10:01,569
Just one second.
293
00:10:01,570 --> 00:10:04,272
♪ Are you the one? ♪
294
00:10:04,273 --> 00:10:05,973
(fireworks popping)
295
00:10:07,977 --> 00:10:09,176
Okay, now I'm going.
296
00:10:09,211 --> 00:10:12,179
LOUISE: Is, uh,
Stalker Texas Ranger
297
00:10:12,214 --> 00:10:14,048
still out there?
It's been almost an hour.
298
00:10:14,049 --> 00:10:15,215
He's there.
299
00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:18,319
I wonder if maybe we should,
you know, apologize,
300
00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:20,854
so he won't be so mad
and he won't kill us?
301
00:10:20,889 --> 00:10:22,790
Gene, relax.
He's down there,
302
00:10:22,791 --> 00:10:24,926
and we're way up here
with the doors locked.
303
00:10:24,927 --> 00:10:27,027
Don't tell me you're
actually scared of him.
304
00:10:27,062 --> 00:10:28,997
No, I'm scared
of something else.
305
00:10:28,998 --> 00:10:31,799
It's just a coincidence that
I'm staring at a really mean
306
00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:35,002
high school kid who's down there
doing karate on a parked car!
307
00:10:36,405 --> 00:10:38,006
All right, all right,
I'll talk to him.
308
00:10:38,007 --> 00:10:39,806
Excuse me.
Oh, good.
309
00:10:39,842 --> 00:10:42,310
Hey, Logan, go home
and take a shower.
310
00:10:42,311 --> 00:10:44,544
You're smellin' of melon!
Oh, God.
311
00:10:44,580 --> 00:10:47,615
I'm never going home
and I am never taking a shower
312
00:10:47,616 --> 00:10:49,517
until I get my revenge.
313
00:10:49,518 --> 00:10:52,819
Oh, man, you're
gonna be sorry, Louise.
314
00:10:52,855 --> 00:10:55,256
I am sorry
that I'm still talking to you.
315
00:10:55,257 --> 00:10:56,790
Louise,
maybe don't...
316
00:10:56,825 --> 00:10:58,960
I was thinking
I'd just give you a noogie
317
00:10:58,961 --> 00:11:02,330
or maybe a swirly,
but I've changed my mind.
318
00:11:02,331 --> 00:11:06,833
Now I'm gonna give you
a Reverse Norwegian Stink Hold!
319
00:11:06,869 --> 00:11:08,336
(quietly): Oh, man,
did he just say
320
00:11:08,337 --> 00:11:10,104
the Reverse Norwegian
Stink Hold?
321
00:11:10,105 --> 00:11:13,041
You do not want the Reverse
Norwegian Stink Hold.
322
00:11:13,042 --> 00:11:14,842
What?
That's a real thing?
323
00:11:14,843 --> 00:11:17,145
It's the signature move of
the professional wrestler
324
00:11:17,146 --> 00:11:18,446
Norwegian Steven.
325
00:11:18,447 --> 00:11:19,980
Since when do you
watch wrestling?
326
00:11:20,015 --> 00:11:21,515
I have a life, Louise!
327
00:11:21,550 --> 00:11:23,317
Well, what's a whatever whatever
Stink Hold?
328
00:11:23,318 --> 00:11:24,751
It doesn't even sound scary.
329
00:11:24,787 --> 00:11:26,187
Well, it is.
330
00:11:26,188 --> 00:11:28,189
When Norwegian Steven's got
his opponent on the ropes,
331
00:11:28,190 --> 00:11:30,958
he pulls them into
a headlock like this... Ooh.
332
00:11:30,959 --> 00:11:33,061
...and then he pinches
them like this... Whoa.
333
00:11:33,062 --> 00:11:35,106
...until they have to
breathe in his B.O.!
334
00:11:35,130 --> 00:11:37,331
Well, I'm not gonna
worry about that.
335
00:11:37,332 --> 00:11:39,499
He's never getting up here.
336
00:11:39,535 --> 00:11:41,135
I'm gonna jump up there
and grab you!
337
00:11:41,136 --> 00:11:43,137
(grunting)
Put your hand out.
338
00:11:43,138 --> 00:11:44,471
No, thank you.
339
00:11:44,506 --> 00:11:46,973
Uh, he'll tire himself out
soon enough.
340
00:11:47,009 --> 00:11:48,810
♪ La, la, la, la ♪
341
00:11:48,811 --> 00:11:51,212
♪ La, la-la-la-la... ♪
(whispering): I don't like it.
342
00:11:51,213 --> 00:11:54,114
Don't like what?
(grunts)
343
00:11:54,149 --> 00:11:55,482
What? What are you doing?
344
00:11:55,517 --> 00:11:56,850
(whispers):
Linda.
345
00:11:56,885 --> 00:11:58,753
I can hear you guys.
346
00:11:58,754 --> 00:12:00,687
Gerald, look at me.
Mm-mm.
347
00:12:00,722 --> 00:12:03,825
♪ Gerald, I'm your friend ♪
348
00:12:03,826 --> 00:12:07,361
♪ Through thick and through
thin, we'll do it together. ♪
349
00:12:07,362 --> 00:12:09,062
(whispering):
She's so loud.
350
00:12:09,098 --> 00:12:11,199
Linda, maybe don't sing
to Gerald right now.
351
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,533
What? Why? He likes it.
Oh, man.
352
00:12:13,569 --> 00:12:15,403
We better call the kids
and tell them we'll be late.
353
00:12:15,404 --> 00:12:17,304
Everyone act cool while I call.
354
00:12:17,339 --> 00:12:19,740
Hey, Gerald, I can
French braid my own hair.
355
00:12:19,741 --> 00:12:21,442
You want to see?
No.
356
00:12:21,443 --> 00:12:23,411
Yeah, look, hi.
Please, no.
357
00:12:23,412 --> 00:12:24,846
What? They're your friend.
358
00:12:24,847 --> 00:12:26,114
No, y-you're scaring me.
359
00:12:26,115 --> 00:12:27,747
Look. Look at us.
360
00:12:27,783 --> 00:12:29,416
We're gonna go into a French braid.
(groaning)
361
00:12:29,451 --> 00:12:31,419
(phone rings)
Aah! Who's calling?
362
00:12:31,420 --> 00:12:33,187
If it's Mom or Dad,
just play it cool.
363
00:12:33,188 --> 00:12:34,922
Right. That's me. Super cool.
364
00:12:34,923 --> 00:12:36,557
Belcher residence.
365
00:12:36,558 --> 00:12:38,960
My father is pooping,
my mom's in the shower,
366
00:12:38,961 --> 00:12:40,128
and she looks great.
367
00:12:40,129 --> 00:12:43,297
Hello, son. Gene, son. Pal.
368
00:12:43,298 --> 00:12:44,565
Oh, hi. Hi, Dad.
369
00:12:44,566 --> 00:12:47,201
Hi, Gene. I'm Dad. It's Dad.
370
00:12:47,202 --> 00:12:49,971
(quietly): Gene, Gene.
Don't mention the melon.
371
00:12:49,972 --> 00:12:52,440
Everything's great here.
Nothing to mention.
372
00:12:52,441 --> 00:12:53,708
No melons were thrown.
373
00:12:53,709 --> 00:12:55,209
(Louise groans loudly)
374
00:12:55,210 --> 00:12:57,145
(whispers):
Bob, don't tell him we're high.
375
00:12:57,146 --> 00:12:58,746
Listen, we may be
a little high...
376
00:12:58,747 --> 00:13:00,248
I mean late, getting home.
377
00:13:00,249 --> 00:13:02,550
Uh, the taxes keep going.
378
00:13:02,551 --> 00:13:03,818
Good job.
379
00:13:03,819 --> 00:13:05,586
Okay, great!
Everything here is great.
380
00:13:05,587 --> 00:13:07,588
Thanks for leaving me in charge.
Everything's good. Bye.
381
00:13:07,589 --> 00:13:09,389
He totally knew
I was stoned.
382
00:13:09,424 --> 00:13:11,225
He totally knew
we threw a melon.
383
00:13:11,226 --> 00:13:12,959
Hey, Logan's gone.
384
00:13:12,995 --> 00:13:14,495
See? I told you he'd give up.
385
00:13:14,496 --> 00:13:16,230
We're good.
(phone rings)
386
00:13:16,231 --> 00:13:17,965
Ugh, it's probably Dad again.
387
00:13:17,966 --> 00:13:20,401
Let me handle this. Hello.
388
00:13:20,402 --> 00:13:22,403
LOGAN: Hey, Louise.
What do you want, Logan?
389
00:13:22,404 --> 00:13:25,273
I just wanted to tell you
that I'm in your house.
390
00:13:25,274 --> 00:13:27,074
Oh, yeah? I don't see you.
391
00:13:27,075 --> 00:13:29,242
And why would you call me
to tell me that?
392
00:13:29,278 --> 00:13:30,945
'Cause I wanted
to make it menacing,
393
00:13:30,946 --> 00:13:33,814
like in the movies,
with the spooky music.
394
00:13:33,815 --> 00:13:35,615
(singing spooky music)
395
00:13:35,651 --> 00:13:37,151
Well, that's not
menacing at all.
396
00:13:37,152 --> 00:13:38,753
It's relaxing, actually.
397
00:13:38,754 --> 00:13:40,588
Okay, but if I'm not
in your house,
398
00:13:40,589 --> 00:13:42,523
then who's in your kitchen?
399
00:13:42,524 --> 00:13:44,090
(thump)
(gasps)
400
00:13:44,126 --> 00:13:46,160
Holy crap! Gene, Logan got in
the house somehow.
401
00:13:46,161 --> 00:13:47,460
What?!
402
00:13:47,496 --> 00:13:49,866
Logan is in the house! Run!
Aah!
403
00:13:50,933 --> 00:13:52,732
Ha-ha!
404
00:13:52,768 --> 00:13:53,768
(both scream)
405
00:13:53,769 --> 00:13:55,602
But you were...
I heard you.
406
00:13:55,637 --> 00:13:57,505
Let's just say
you left the window open,
407
00:13:57,506 --> 00:13:59,207
and let's just say
that I'm really good
408
00:13:59,208 --> 00:14:01,108
at throwing shoes
through windows,
409
00:14:01,109 --> 00:14:03,945
and let's just say that I'm also
gonna need that shoe back.
410
00:14:03,946 --> 00:14:06,547
And now I'm gonna
take you to Pitts-burg.
411
00:14:06,548 --> 00:14:07,914
Get it?
412
00:14:07,950 --> 00:14:09,583
I get it. Pretty good.
413
00:14:09,618 --> 00:14:11,241
Thanks.
Run!
414
00:14:12,877 --> 00:14:15,607
LOUISE: Go, Gene! Go!
Casket delivery.
415
00:14:16,644 --> 00:14:18,278
(grunts)
Hey!
416
00:14:18,279 --> 00:14:19,879
Come on! We'll lose
him at Lobsterfest.
417
00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,681
But the festivities
don't begin until 5:00
418
00:14:22,716 --> 00:14:25,885
if you're VIP, or 6:00 if you
have a general admission ticket,
419
00:14:25,886 --> 00:14:28,553
and 7:00 if you're only
here to see the B-52s!
420
00:14:28,589 --> 00:14:30,622
(panting)
Ooh, nice potholders!
421
00:14:30,658 --> 00:14:32,825
Quick, quick, Gene, in there!
422
00:14:32,826 --> 00:14:35,962
♪ Nothing lifts a pal up ♪
423
00:14:35,963 --> 00:14:38,464
♪ Like a scallop ♪
424
00:14:38,465 --> 00:14:42,669
♪ It's not selfish
to love shellfish! ♪
425
00:14:42,670 --> 00:14:44,804
Fantastic!
Let's run it one more time,
426
00:14:44,805 --> 00:14:46,639
and then we'll do
the shrimp number.
427
00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,508
Okay, Gene, I have a plan.
Great.
428
00:14:48,509 --> 00:14:49,975
I have diarrhea.
429
00:14:55,783 --> 00:14:57,417
TINA:
Huh, that's weird.
430
00:14:57,418 --> 00:14:59,919
Am I crazy,
or is that spark we had gone?
431
00:14:59,920 --> 00:15:02,488
♪ Is that spark we had gone? ♪
432
00:15:02,489 --> 00:15:05,891
♪ I was once so sure,
now I fear I was wrong. ♪
433
00:15:05,926 --> 00:15:08,494
(singing quietly)
434
00:15:08,495 --> 00:15:09,895
Tina?
435
00:15:09,930 --> 00:15:11,864
Tina? Tina!
♪ ...I was wrong. ♪
436
00:15:11,865 --> 00:15:13,633
Hmm?
You're mumbling.
437
00:15:13,634 --> 00:15:15,168
And your pencil is
just an eraser now.
438
00:15:15,169 --> 00:15:16,469
I-I think you're done.
439
00:15:16,470 --> 00:15:17,770
I don't know if I'm done,
440
00:15:17,771 --> 00:15:19,505
but I sure have
a lot to think about.
441
00:15:19,506 --> 00:15:20,473
What?!
442
00:15:20,474 --> 00:15:21,941
(sighs):
Ah.
443
00:15:21,942 --> 00:15:23,643
Doesn't that feel good?
444
00:15:23,644 --> 00:15:25,478
Tape fingers.
Please stop.
445
00:15:25,479 --> 00:15:27,714
Gerald, can I
do it to you?
446
00:15:27,715 --> 00:15:29,782
Yes.
447
00:15:29,783 --> 00:15:31,284
I like it.
448
00:15:31,285 --> 00:15:33,286
There it is.
Look at that.
449
00:15:33,287 --> 00:15:35,221
Linda, I was
wrong about you.
450
00:15:35,222 --> 00:15:36,356
I like you.
451
00:15:36,357 --> 00:15:38,558
I like you, too, Gerald.
452
00:15:38,559 --> 00:15:40,293
Even if your jokes
aren't funny.
453
00:15:40,294 --> 00:15:41,259
Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
454
00:15:41,295 --> 00:15:42,962
Oh. You don't
like my jokes?
455
00:15:42,963 --> 00:15:45,164
What? No!
456
00:15:45,165 --> 00:15:46,466
I mean, yeah.
457
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:47,867
I mean, kind of.
458
00:15:47,868 --> 00:15:49,502
I mean, no.
Linda.
459
00:15:49,503 --> 00:15:51,170
But you always
laugh at them.
460
00:15:51,171 --> 00:15:52,572
Everyone laughs at them.
461
00:15:52,573 --> 00:15:55,408
Because we like you.
Everyone likes you.
462
00:15:55,409 --> 00:15:57,477
And it's not at all because
you're their accountant
463
00:15:57,478 --> 00:15:59,846
and they're scared
of being audited. Not at all.
464
00:15:59,847 --> 00:16:02,415
(chuckles):
I... uh, I actually like them.
465
00:16:02,416 --> 00:16:03,816
I love them.
466
00:16:03,817 --> 00:16:05,818
No, you don't, Bob.
Don't lie.
467
00:16:05,819 --> 00:16:07,687
Oh, God. Oh, God.
468
00:16:07,688 --> 00:16:09,689
I always thought if
accounting didn't work out,
469
00:16:09,690 --> 00:16:11,289
I could quit
and do stand-up.
470
00:16:11,325 --> 00:16:13,326
You-you could do bad stand-up.
471
00:16:13,327 --> 00:16:14,960
That's really popular.
472
00:16:14,995 --> 00:16:16,696
This is the worst day
of my life.
473
00:16:16,697 --> 00:16:18,330
I don't even feel like
doing taxes.
474
00:16:18,365 --> 00:16:19,766
No, no, you-you
should do some.
475
00:16:19,767 --> 00:16:21,200
It'll make you
feel better.
476
00:16:21,201 --> 00:16:22,602
(doorbell buzzes)
Oh, my God!
477
00:16:22,603 --> 00:16:24,070
What is that?!
Did you guys hear that?!
478
00:16:24,071 --> 00:16:25,705
That's the doorbell.
Who's here?
479
00:16:25,706 --> 00:16:27,040
I'll go see. No! No!
480
00:16:27,041 --> 00:16:28,073
(doorbell buzzes)
481
00:16:28,108 --> 00:16:29,542
(quietly):
Oh, crap.
482
00:16:29,543 --> 00:16:31,344
That's my next client.
483
00:16:31,345 --> 00:16:33,513
He probably wants me
to do his taxes.
484
00:16:33,514 --> 00:16:34,747
We got to hide.
485
00:16:34,748 --> 00:16:36,049
Yes. Absolutely.
486
00:16:36,050 --> 00:16:38,084
Great plan.
(doorbell buzzes)
487
00:16:38,085 --> 00:16:40,686
We should build a fort
with the cushions.
488
00:16:40,687 --> 00:16:43,389
That way, even if he gets
in, he won't see us.
489
00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:45,291
Okay, but I'm still sad,
490
00:16:45,292 --> 00:16:47,393
so I want my own room
in the fort
491
00:16:47,394 --> 00:16:50,229
to reflect and figure out
where to go from here.
492
00:16:50,230 --> 00:16:52,130
You absolutely deserve that.
493
00:16:53,367 --> 00:16:54,900
Hey, hey, hey, hey.
494
00:16:54,935 --> 00:16:56,969
Where are you guys going?
We're about to rehearse.
495
00:16:56,970 --> 00:16:59,405
GENE: Uh, there's a shrimp
emergency in the ocean.
496
00:16:59,406 --> 00:17:02,941
Wait a minute. Aren't you two
a little shrimpy to be shrimps?
497
00:17:02,976 --> 00:17:04,676
LOUISE: Don't you
shrimp-shame me!
498
00:17:04,711 --> 00:17:06,079
Okay, you guys need
499
00:17:06,080 --> 00:17:07,780
to take those costumes off
immediately.
500
00:17:07,781 --> 00:17:09,448
Louise!
(both yelling)
501
00:17:09,483 --> 00:17:10,782
Run, Gene, run!
No, no, no, no, no, no!
502
00:17:10,818 --> 00:17:12,384
Don't get the tails dirty!
503
00:17:13,821 --> 00:17:17,056
(both panting)
504
00:17:17,057 --> 00:17:19,258
Did we lose him?
I think we lost him.
505
00:17:19,259 --> 00:17:20,325
(gasps)
506
00:17:26,133 --> 00:17:28,134
Great choice
of hiding place, guys.
507
00:17:28,135 --> 00:17:30,235
There's no way out.
508
00:17:30,270 --> 00:17:33,422
Oh, God! I think I
just bisqued my pants!
509
00:17:34,613 --> 00:17:37,340
Well, well, well,
looks like your nose
510
00:17:37,341 --> 00:17:40,309
just RSVP'd yes to my armpit.
511
00:17:40,344 --> 00:17:42,478
No. No way,
Logan. Just...
512
00:17:42,513 --> 00:17:43,713
Just-just let us go!
513
00:17:43,714 --> 00:17:45,181
Oh, I will.
514
00:17:45,182 --> 00:17:48,083
After I've destroyed
your sinuses forever.
515
00:17:48,119 --> 00:17:50,719
Oh, no, no, I...
I, um... Aah!
516
00:17:50,755 --> 00:17:53,656
Just stop trying
to get away, Louise.
517
00:17:53,691 --> 00:17:56,226
Let me give you the Reverse
Norwegian Stink Hold.
518
00:17:56,227 --> 00:17:57,894
It only takes a minute,
519
00:17:57,895 --> 00:18:00,730
but you'll remember it
for the rest of your life!
520
00:18:00,731 --> 00:18:02,399
No. Come on, no.
521
00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:04,301
Are you... are you crying?
522
00:18:04,302 --> 00:18:05,769
No! (sniffles)
523
00:18:05,770 --> 00:18:07,871
(groans) Wait!
524
00:18:07,872 --> 00:18:10,373
If you're gonna give anyone the
Reverse Norwegian Stink Hold,
525
00:18:10,374 --> 00:18:11,740
it's gonna be me.
526
00:18:11,776 --> 00:18:13,342
What was that, little fella?
527
00:18:13,377 --> 00:18:15,145
Oh, my God!
I think I just said,
528
00:18:15,146 --> 00:18:17,480
if you are gonna give anyone the
Reverse Norwegian Stink Hold,
529
00:18:17,481 --> 00:18:18,915
it's gonna be me!
530
00:18:18,916 --> 00:18:21,451
Get out of my way.
531
00:18:21,452 --> 00:18:25,387
No! I am very scared right now,
but I'm not moving!
532
00:18:25,423 --> 00:18:26,355
Gene, don't.
533
00:18:26,390 --> 00:18:27,856
Okay, you asked for it.
534
00:18:27,892 --> 00:18:29,592
(grunting)
535
00:18:29,627 --> 00:18:32,062
Whiff it up, little man!
Whiff it up!
536
00:18:32,063 --> 00:18:35,531
(Gene groaning)
LOGAN: Oh. Yeah. Oh.
537
00:18:35,566 --> 00:18:37,434
(sighs)
538
00:18:37,435 --> 00:18:38,735
Hey, Linda.
What?
539
00:18:38,736 --> 00:18:40,470
I think I'm okay
to go home now.
540
00:18:40,471 --> 00:18:43,406
Plus, I mean, at some point,
we just have to go home.
541
00:18:43,407 --> 00:18:45,675
But we can't just
leave Gerald like this.
542
00:18:45,676 --> 00:18:47,243
You got to talk to him.
543
00:18:47,244 --> 00:18:48,612
(sighs) Okay.
544
00:18:48,613 --> 00:18:50,580
Hey, buddy.
Hey, Bob.
545
00:18:50,581 --> 00:18:52,616
Look, I'm... I-I make burgers,
546
00:18:52,617 --> 00:18:54,584
but I also do
this little chalkboard
547
00:18:54,585 --> 00:18:57,754
with the burgers of the day,
and I think they are...
548
00:18:57,755 --> 00:18:59,356
hilarious,
but they probably aren't.
549
00:18:59,357 --> 00:19:01,358
They're okay.
550
00:19:01,359 --> 00:19:03,693
They're bad, but that's okay,
because they make me laugh.
551
00:19:03,694 --> 00:19:06,963
I do it for me, and you're
a really good accountant, right?
552
00:19:06,964 --> 00:19:07,964
I hope.
553
00:19:07,965 --> 00:19:09,299
I'm pretty good.
554
00:19:09,300 --> 00:19:11,267
So just keep on doing that.
555
00:19:11,268 --> 00:19:13,036
Keep on accountin'.
556
00:19:13,037 --> 00:19:16,373
But also, make your jokes,
because you like them, okay?
557
00:19:16,374 --> 00:19:18,274
But work on 'em. More.
558
00:19:18,275 --> 00:19:20,043
Okay. Wait!
559
00:19:20,044 --> 00:19:21,678
You guys can't leave.
What's gonna happen to me?
560
00:19:21,679 --> 00:19:23,113
You're gonna be fine,
Gerald.
561
00:19:23,114 --> 00:19:24,446
You still have the fort.
562
00:19:24,482 --> 00:19:26,016
Listen, this is
very important.
563
00:19:26,017 --> 00:19:28,018
Later tonight, when
you aren't high anymore,
564
00:19:28,019 --> 00:19:30,686
we need you to finish
and mail our taxes.
565
00:19:30,721 --> 00:19:32,789
Can you describe them
to me, Bob?
566
00:19:32,790 --> 00:19:34,224
Oh, my God.
I'm just kidding.
567
00:19:34,225 --> 00:19:36,126
(laughs)
Hey, she laughed.
568
00:19:36,127 --> 00:19:38,294
She did!
Play us out with the tax-ophone?
569
00:19:38,295 --> 00:19:40,295
(imitating saxophone music)
570
00:19:44,502 --> 00:19:46,503
TINA:
Ugh, it's so awkward.
571
00:19:46,504 --> 00:19:48,805
Knowing he's back there,
expecting me to look at him
572
00:19:48,806 --> 00:19:50,473
the way
I've always looked at him.
573
00:19:50,474 --> 00:19:52,208
It's not fair to him
or to me.
574
00:19:52,209 --> 00:19:54,044
I've got to show him
my breakup eyes.
575
00:19:54,045 --> 00:19:55,512
Like this.
576
00:19:55,513 --> 00:19:57,080
Whoa, whoa, easy, Tina girl.
577
00:19:57,081 --> 00:19:59,315
That was way too harsh.
No need to be mean.
578
00:19:59,316 --> 00:20:01,718
I need to use
my let-him-down-easy eyes.
579
00:20:01,719 --> 00:20:02,819
Like this.
580
00:20:02,820 --> 00:20:04,387
Yeah, that's it.
581
00:20:04,388 --> 00:20:06,588
Okay, here it goes.
582
00:20:11,996 --> 00:20:14,230
He took that pretty well.
583
00:20:14,231 --> 00:20:16,533
He's hurting, but he doesn't
want to let it show.
584
00:20:16,534 --> 00:20:17,934
That's Joe. (chuckles)
585
00:20:17,935 --> 00:20:19,401
I'll never forget him.
586
00:20:19,437 --> 00:20:22,172
How was it, Gene?
Was it bad?
587
00:20:22,173 --> 00:20:23,907
It was painful.
Yeah?
588
00:20:23,908 --> 00:20:25,674
And smelly.
Yeah.
589
00:20:25,710 --> 00:20:27,110
But I've been through things
590
00:20:27,111 --> 00:20:28,912
that were more painful
and more smelly.
591
00:20:28,913 --> 00:20:30,714
Just not since my own birth.
592
00:20:30,715 --> 00:20:32,382
Mmm!
Aah!
593
00:20:32,383 --> 00:20:34,384
What's happening?!
Thanks for doing that.
594
00:20:34,385 --> 00:20:35,752
You're a great large brother.
595
00:20:35,753 --> 00:20:37,553
Anytime, shrimp.
596
00:20:39,757 --> 00:20:41,858
Yeah, that was
definitely our kids.
597
00:20:41,859 --> 00:20:43,525
Why are they
dressed as shrimps?
598
00:20:43,561 --> 00:20:45,628
And why are they hugging?
Do they do that?
599
00:20:45,629 --> 00:20:47,263
I didn't know
they did that.
600
00:20:47,264 --> 00:20:49,765
Ooh, hey, look at that.
601
00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:51,800
Wow.
Right?
602
00:20:54,779 --> 00:20:58,108
TINA: ♪ The briefest of glances
can start the biggest romances ♪
603
00:20:58,109 --> 00:21:02,912
♪ Our eyes were doing the dances
and they were making advances ♪
604
00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:05,115
♪ When our eyes met,
I was like ♪
605
00:21:05,116 --> 00:21:08,918
♪ Hey, now I bet
that Joe could be the one ♪
606
00:21:08,919 --> 00:21:12,388
♪ The briefest of glances can start
the biggest romances ♪
607
00:21:12,389 --> 00:21:16,593
♪ Our eyes were doing the dances
and they were making advances ♪
608
00:21:16,594 --> 00:21:19,295
♪ When our eyes met, I was like ♪
♪ When our eyes met ♪
609
00:21:19,296 --> 00:21:23,433
♪ Hey, now I bet
that Joe could be the one ♪
610
00:21:23,434 --> 00:21:25,200
♪ Are you the one? ♪
611
00:21:25,236 --> 00:21:28,854
Sync & corrections by Rafael UPD
www.addic7ed.com/