1
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_

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♪ I'm goin' down to South
Park, gonna have myself a time ♪

3
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♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪

4
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♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪

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♪ Goin' down to South Park,
gonna leave my woes behind ♪

6
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♪ Ample parking day or night ♪

7
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♪ People spouting,
"Howdy, neighbor!" ♪

8
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♪ Heading on up to South Park,
gonna see if I can't unwind ♪

9
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♪ I like fucking silly bitches
and I know my penis likes it! ♪

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♪ Come on down to South Park
and meet some friends of mine ♪

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[Indistinct shouting]

12
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Detective Harris:
Everyone, calm down. Please.

13
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We have to have civil order.

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Listen to me!

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[Shouting stops]

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Now, I know everyone is scared,

17
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but we have to keep control.

18
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Yes, all our e-mails
and Internet histories

19
00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:50,115
are about to become public knowledge.

20
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[Shouting resumes] But!

21
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But! [Shouting stops]

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We all need to understand
that Troll Trace

23
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will never happen if people
don't log on to use it.

24
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The website is a massive database

25
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that cross-references everything
ever said on the Internet.

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It relies on people typing
in a name and address

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of someone else to add to that database.

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If we can all agree to
resist the urge to look up

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other people's Internet
histories, Maggie, okay?

30
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As long as we all respect
each other's privacy, darling,

31
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then our town won't suffer
the same fate as Fort Collins.

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And what are the police gonna do
to make sure people don't use it?

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I know I'll certainly
respect other's privacy.

34
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But what about people like
Laura Tucker, the blabbermouth?

35
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Excuse me?

36
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And that's why we have to
come together as a community

37
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and resist any temptation
to use Troll Trace, Maggie.

38
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We have to stay in control.

39
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This hack of our city will never happen

40
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so long as we can
rely on the rationality

41
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and the basic decency
of the American people.

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[Screaming] We're gonna die!

43
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- Oh! We got to get the kids!
- Get the kids! Let's go!

44
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Guess I could have
worded that differently.

45
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Sheila: What were you thinking?!

46
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How dare you outright
defy me like that?!

47
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Your brother was being
punished for using the computer,

48
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and you decide to just leave with him?!

49
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I just felt bad for him, Ma.

50
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You felt bad for him?!

51
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After all the horrible things
he said to people online?

52
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Your brother is a sick troll, Kyle.

53
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You just wait till
your father gets home.

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[Slams door]

55
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[FaceTime rings]

56
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Ike! Where the [bleep] have you been?!

57
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Daddy needs your help.

58
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You don't want Mommy and
Daddy to get divorced, do you?

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You know how bad your mom is.

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She completely overreacts to everything.

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That's where your brother gets it from.

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You don't want to be like Kyle, do you?

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Hi, Dad.

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Hey, buddy! Everything good there?

65
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It was you this whole time.

66
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You're the troll who
caused all this trouble.

67
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No, it was your brother.

68
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I don't know what's
wrong with him, Kyle.

69
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He needs counseling or...

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Heidi Turner did emoji analysis.

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It was an adult. It was you!

72
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Shh! Shh! Okay, keep your voice down.

73
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[Whispering] Why, Dad?
Why did you do this?!

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Because it's [bleep] funny, Kyle.

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It's called having a sense
of humor and laughing.

76
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You should [bleep]
try it once in a while.

77
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Putting a penis in the mouth of
a mom who has cancer is funny?!

78
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Because it's so not funny, God!

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Pushing people's
buttons to get a reaction

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can actually be very
good for society, Kyle.

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Listen to me. The
Danish are [bleep] crazy.

82
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You have to get people to stop them.

83
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- How?
- Go get people riled up.

84
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Call the president. I don't know.

85
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When you push people's buttons,

86
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they go and push other people's buttons.

87
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- Now, get out there and...
- Kyle! Ike!

88
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What the hell is this?!

89
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What did I say?!

90
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Get off of that computer right now!

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[All shouting]

92
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Man: Uh, everyone, please, listen.

93
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We don't have any rockets going to Mars.

94
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Now, you're not listening.

95
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We don't have the energy
requirements figured out yet.

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We're working as hard as we can.

97
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There's a little girl working
on the problem right now,

98
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and apparently, she's
incredibly smart and funny.

99
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You got it figured out, babe?

100
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Babe, I have no idea
what any of this means.

101
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Heidi, yes, you do.

102
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You just have to get over yourself.

103
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Come on. Say it. Say it.

104
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Girls rule. Women are
funny. Get over it.

105
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Get over it, baby.

106
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Stop holding yourself back.

107
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[Sighs]

108
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Uh, excuse me.

109
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Sorry, can we have a word, please?

110
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What the [bleep] do you want?!

111
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[Softly] Hang on, babe.

112
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This doesn't seem like
it's gonna work out,

113
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and we're rather busy.

114
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Just give her a chance.

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She's the smartest,
funniest girl on Earth.

116
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I haven't really heard
her say anything funny.

117
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Yeah, that's because you have
a mental block, Elon Musk,

118
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that won't let you get over yourself.

119
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Butters: Hee, yeah!

120
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Don't worry about Heidi. She's a hoot!

121
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[Beeping]

122
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[Door opens]

123
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Here they come.

124
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Oh, thank God.

125
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There's been a mistake, okay?

126
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I'm not one of them.

127
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My son is Skankhunt42.

128
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Go online and see.

129
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He's still doing it.

130
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All of you, remove your clothes.

131
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What are you gonna do to us?

132
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Remove your clothes now!

133
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In here. Move!

134
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Oh, God!

135
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Oh, God! They're gonna kill us!

136
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No, no, no, no, wait.

137
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Okay, okay, it was me.

138
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You're right. I'm Skankhunt.

139
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But I'm not like them.

140
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Please. I have a good
job. I'm a good guy.

141
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I'm sorry.

142
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I was just being funny.

143
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I was trying to make people laugh.

144
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That's a positive thing, right?

145
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I wasn't doing it to hurt people.

146
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I was just doing comedy.

147
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It's different.

148
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Please, it's different!

149
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[Door clanks]

150
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[Religious music plays]

151
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Priest Maxi: Lord, we look to thee
on this, our most troubled hour.

152
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We have been led astray,

153
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and now all we can do is wait
for the inevitable to happen.

154
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Soon, everything we
have said and done online

155
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is going to be known to all.

156
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Many lives will be turned upside down.

157
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Of course, I have nothing
to be worried about.

158
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Since I'm a priest, there's nothing I'm
ashamed of doing on the Internet, so...

159
00:06:40,077 --> 00:06:42,267
definitely no reason
to look up my history.

160
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But, uh, for many,
this is a time to pray.

161
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All: Oh, Lord, please forgive us

162
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for things we might have done online.

163
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Maggie.

164
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Men: Please try to understand

165
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that even if some of us
were on ashleymadison.com,

166
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it was only out of curiosity

167
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and not because we'd
actually have an affair.

168
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Please understand that we
might have used racial slurs,

169
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but only because it
was to a close friend

170
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and never meant to be in public.

171
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Kyle: What are you all doing?!

172
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Somebody's threatening your way of life,

173
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and you're all just
sitting here, praying?!

174
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Like a-a bunch of babies?!

175
00:07:16,954 --> 00:07:18,787
Like a bunch of pussies!

176
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Come on! This isn't South Park.

177
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What's happened to us?

178
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We used to have a
challenge and deal with it

179
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then move on to the next one.

180
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Now we've just been
dealing with trolling

181
00:07:27,264 --> 00:07:29,181
and Internet stuff over
and over, week after week,

182
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and I don't know about you, but
I'm getting pretty sick of it!

183
00:07:31,719 --> 00:07:32,885
Yeah!

184
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Now, for once, let's take
a stand and try to end this.

185
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We can't let Denmark change who we are.

186
00:07:38,225 --> 00:07:39,892
Yeah! [Bleep] Denmark!

187
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- Yeah!
- All right!

188
00:07:42,646 --> 00:07:44,563
You guys need to, you know,

189
00:07:44,698 --> 00:07:47,399
call the president and
get him to... take action.

190
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- Aw.
- Oh.

191
00:07:48,736 --> 00:07:50,569
Uh, the president?
He won't listen to us.

192
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He hates us now.

193
00:07:51,906 --> 00:07:54,873
No. But there's somebody
he will listen to.

194
00:07:56,710 --> 00:07:59,795
Mr. President, we're looking
at global destabilization

195
00:07:59,914 --> 00:08:01,163
like we've never seen.

196
00:08:01,248 --> 00:08:02,915
Countries everywhere are terrified

197
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,583
their Internet may be hacked.

198
00:08:04,718 --> 00:08:06,919
Well, what do they
want me to do about it?

199
00:08:07,004 --> 00:08:08,587
You're the leader of the free world.

200
00:08:08,672 --> 00:08:09,888
Everyone is looking to you to be

201
00:08:09,974 --> 00:08:12,140
the calm and steady voice they all need.

202
00:08:12,259 --> 00:08:13,759
Mr. President?

203
00:08:13,894 --> 00:08:16,678
Mr. President, the Israeli
Prime Minister is on line one.

204
00:08:16,764 --> 00:08:18,764
The Chancellor of
Germany is on line two.

205
00:08:18,849 --> 00:08:21,433
And a Mr. Slave is on line three.

206
00:08:21,518 --> 00:08:23,986
Mr. Slave?

207
00:08:24,989 --> 00:08:26,271
This is the president.

208
00:08:26,407 --> 00:08:28,190
Hey. What's up?

209
00:08:28,275 --> 00:08:29,692
Well, well, well.

210
00:08:29,910 --> 00:08:32,110
Crawling out of the woodwork
to try and get me back

211
00:08:32,196 --> 00:08:33,829
now that I'm a big cheese?

212
00:08:33,948 --> 00:08:37,749
No, I'm calling because people
want you to bomb Denmark.

213
00:08:37,835 --> 00:08:39,751
Who wants me to bomb Denmark?

214
00:08:39,837 --> 00:08:41,503
Lots of people, 'cause it's, like,

215
00:08:41,622 --> 00:08:44,089
going to ruin their freedom
of speech or something.

216
00:08:44,174 --> 00:08:48,176
Mr. Slave, this is all very
complicated diplomatic stuff, okay?

217
00:08:48,295 --> 00:08:50,596
You can't just go
bombing other countries.

218
00:08:50,681 --> 00:08:53,548
Oh, Jesus Christ. You're
such a little bitch.

219
00:08:53,634 --> 00:08:55,384
Oh, I'm a bitch, huh?

220
00:08:55,469 --> 00:08:57,719
I happen to be president, bitch!

221
00:08:57,805 --> 00:08:59,271
You're a little bitch president.

222
00:08:59,356 --> 00:09:01,440
You're too scared to bomb anybody.

223
00:09:01,525 --> 00:09:02,858
I'm not scared!

224
00:09:02,977 --> 00:09:04,526
My advisors have told me that I...

225
00:09:04,645 --> 00:09:05,978
Yeah, you're scared.

226
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:08,614
Just do what your little
advisors tell you to do.

227
00:09:08,699 --> 00:09:12,355
If I decide a military strike on
Denmark is warranted, then I will...

228
00:09:12,390 --> 00:09:14,525
You don't have the balls
to bomb them, pussy.

229
00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:16,371
Pussy ass bitch.

230
00:09:16,490 --> 00:09:18,040
Pussy ass bitch. [Bleep] you.

231
00:09:18,158 --> 00:09:19,625
Oh... You... Oh, okay!

232
00:09:19,710 --> 00:09:20,876
You think so, huh?

233
00:09:20,995 --> 00:09:23,211
Well, watch this, you gay asshole!

234
00:09:23,330 --> 00:09:24,463
Bomb Denmark!

235
00:09:24,548 --> 00:09:25,747
Sir?

236
00:09:25,833 --> 00:09:28,083
The Troll Trace building and
the whole [bleep] thing...

237
00:09:28,168 --> 00:09:30,335
Whatever it is, get the missiles ready!

238
00:09:30,471 --> 00:09:32,037
Yeah, it worked.

239
00:09:32,122 --> 00:09:33,568
- All right!
- Whoo-hoo!

240
00:09:33,789 --> 00:09:34,923
Hello!

241
00:09:34,958 --> 00:09:37,191
[Humming]

242
00:09:40,379 --> 00:09:42,546
- What are you doing?
- Going pee.

243
00:09:42,631 --> 00:09:45,315
I mean what are you doing
calling my girlfriend funny?

244
00:09:45,434 --> 00:09:46,683
You better back off!

245
00:09:46,769 --> 00:09:48,018
You don't even know her!

246
00:09:48,103 --> 00:09:49,269
You haven't spent any time with her!

247
00:09:49,405 --> 00:09:50,354
You're just saying it!

248
00:09:50,439 --> 00:09:52,072
How do you even know she's funny?!

249
00:09:52,157 --> 00:09:54,107
Well, 'cause you keep
telling everyone she is.

250
00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:56,159
Butters, Heidi is everything to me.

251
00:09:56,278 --> 00:09:58,111
If you try and take her,
I swear to God, I will...

252
00:09:58,247 --> 00:09:59,530
Eric, Eric, trust me.

253
00:09:59,615 --> 00:10:01,949
I want nothing to do with girlfriends.

254
00:10:03,919 --> 00:10:05,919
I know what girlfriends do.

255
00:10:06,005 --> 00:10:08,789
They make you feel the
happiest you ever felt.

256
00:10:08,924 --> 00:10:11,708
Then they crawl up inside of you and...

257
00:10:11,794 --> 00:10:13,927
poop on your heart.

258
00:10:14,013 --> 00:10:15,128
What are you talking about?

259
00:10:15,214 --> 00:10:16,797
That's how it ends, Eric.

260
00:10:16,882 --> 00:10:18,465
Girls get you to feel for them,

261
00:10:18,601 --> 00:10:20,934
make you think they're the
best thing in the world,

262
00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:24,471
and then they leave,
move on to the next thing,

263
00:10:24,607 --> 00:10:26,223
and you're left there, crying,

264
00:10:26,308 --> 00:10:28,475
with your heart covered in poop.

265
00:10:28,611 --> 00:10:30,143
Not Heidi.

266
00:10:30,279 --> 00:10:31,645
She's different.

267
00:10:31,730 --> 00:10:33,647
She's really smart.

268
00:10:33,732 --> 00:10:35,315
And really funny.

269
00:10:35,451 --> 00:10:37,234
Sure, buddy.

270
00:10:37,319 --> 00:10:38,702
Sure.

271
00:10:38,821 --> 00:10:40,237
"Officials have stated that

272
00:10:40,322 --> 00:10:42,239
all communication with Denmark has ended

273
00:10:42,324 --> 00:10:44,708
and that a military strike on
the country is now eminent."

274
00:10:44,827 --> 00:10:47,244
- Yay!
- "The president stated that since the..."

275
00:10:47,329 --> 00:10:49,663
- Are you serious right now?!
- [Screaming]

276
00:10:49,798 --> 00:10:52,049
Get off that computer!

277
00:10:52,167 --> 00:10:54,084
Mom, we were just using
it to look at the news.

278
00:10:54,169 --> 00:10:56,753
I don't care. I said no computers!

279
00:10:56,839 --> 00:10:58,972
You kids are addicted to the Internet!

280
00:10:59,058 --> 00:11:00,974
You're sick, and you're addicted!

281
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:02,426
It's changed your brother.

282
00:11:02,511 --> 00:11:05,145
And now it's turning
you against me, Kyle!

283
00:11:05,230 --> 00:11:06,930
I'm not against you, Mom.

284
00:11:07,016 --> 00:11:07,981
You are!

285
00:11:08,067 --> 00:11:09,399
Your father goes away on business,

286
00:11:09,518 --> 00:11:11,935
and all you do is defy me at every turn!

287
00:11:12,021 --> 00:11:15,355
The next time you defy
me, it will be your last!

288
00:11:15,491 --> 00:11:17,157
Do you understand?!

289
00:11:17,242 --> 00:11:18,408
- Y-Yes, Mom.
- Yes, Mom.

290
00:11:18,527 --> 00:11:20,193
And when your father
gets home from Denmark,

291
00:11:20,329 --> 00:11:22,663
you two are both going
in for counseling.

292
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:25,999
- Denmark?!
- Denmark?!

293
00:11:26,085 --> 00:11:27,668
What is Dad doing in Denmark?!

294
00:11:27,753 --> 00:11:30,337
The government sent him over
there to do paralegal training,

295
00:11:30,422 --> 00:11:31,538
so it would have been nice

296
00:11:31,624 --> 00:11:33,674
if you could have
shown a little support.

297
00:11:33,759 --> 00:11:35,258
[Slams door]

298
00:11:35,377 --> 00:11:37,844
Oh, shit.

299
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:39,346
[Whimpering]

300
00:11:39,431 --> 00:11:41,181
Oh, God.

301
00:11:41,266 --> 00:11:43,517
[Whimpering]

302
00:11:43,602 --> 00:11:45,719
Will somebody shut him up?

303
00:11:45,854 --> 00:11:48,271
Skank. Skank, get ahold of yourself.

304
00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:50,607
You were right, Dildo,

305
00:11:50,726 --> 00:11:52,392
when you said I was a dick,

306
00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:54,645
when you called me an asshole.

307
00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:55,896
I am.

308
00:11:55,981 --> 00:11:58,281
And now I'm gonna die
alone, just like you said.

309
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,283
[Crying]

310
00:12:00,402 --> 00:12:02,285
Come on. You're not an asshole.

311
00:12:02,404 --> 00:12:07,741
You said I was, though, 'cause
I only trolled to be funny.

312
00:12:07,826 --> 00:12:10,377
Well... Well, maybe being funny

313
00:12:10,462 --> 00:12:13,413
is just sort of how you
deal with serious subjects.

314
00:12:13,499 --> 00:12:15,415
Really?

315
00:12:15,551 --> 00:12:17,751
You don't think I'm a bad person?

316
00:12:17,886 --> 00:12:19,886
I'm sorry.

317
00:12:19,972 --> 00:12:21,805
All you guys, I'm sorry.

318
00:12:21,924 --> 00:12:23,507
- That's okay.
- That's okay.

319
00:12:23,592 --> 00:12:25,258
Okay, Skank. All right.

320
00:12:25,344 --> 00:12:27,394
Excuse me. Hello?

321
00:12:27,479 --> 00:12:30,514
Could I please speak
to the person in charge?

322
00:12:30,599 --> 00:12:32,599
I have something to say.

323
00:12:32,685 --> 00:12:35,102
Please, just for a moment?

324
00:12:36,855 --> 00:12:39,406
Bring him to the conference room.

325
00:12:41,777 --> 00:12:43,110
[Sighs]

326
00:12:43,245 --> 00:12:45,696
Dude, I am so not getting this.

327
00:12:50,919 --> 00:12:52,786
I just don't understand it.

328
00:12:52,871 --> 00:12:54,788
She's always been really smart before.

329
00:12:54,873 --> 00:12:56,456
And hilarious.

330
00:12:56,542 --> 00:12:58,458
Don't feel bad about
getting duped, Eric.

331
00:12:58,594 --> 00:13:00,293
It's happened to all of us.

332
00:13:00,379 --> 00:13:02,012
Nobody's been duped!

333
00:13:02,131 --> 00:13:04,798
Stop trying to suggest
she's being manipulative.

334
00:13:04,883 --> 00:13:06,266
Why would she want to trick me?

335
00:13:06,351 --> 00:13:08,802
The truth is girls hate us, Eric.

336
00:13:08,887 --> 00:13:10,721
They're sick of our shit.

337
00:13:10,806 --> 00:13:13,440
And one day, they plan
to make us obsolete,

338
00:13:13,525 --> 00:13:16,526
stick us underground where we
just get milked for our semen.

339
00:13:16,645 --> 00:13:18,945
Boys' only hope is
to start over on Mars.

340
00:13:19,031 --> 00:13:20,530
That's ridiculous.

341
00:13:20,649 --> 00:13:22,365
That's the dumbest
thing I've ever heard.

342
00:13:22,484 --> 00:13:26,153
Heidi is the smartest,
funniest person I've ever met!

343
00:13:26,238 --> 00:13:27,404
I'm not being tricked!

344
00:13:27,489 --> 00:13:30,240
And I'll prove it to everybody!

345
00:13:30,325 --> 00:13:33,577
Gerald: Oh, my gosh. Thank
you so much for talking to me.

346
00:13:33,662 --> 00:13:36,163
I just really need to get
something off my chest.

347
00:13:36,298 --> 00:13:39,382
I'm so sorry.

348
00:13:39,501 --> 00:13:42,002
I have had the biggest epiphany about

349
00:13:42,087 --> 00:13:44,638
the damage I've done,
the people I've hurt,

350
00:13:44,723 --> 00:13:49,509
but the fact of the matter
is I'm not really a troll.

351
00:13:49,595 --> 00:13:52,312
I actually have a job. I'm a lawyer.

352
00:13:52,397 --> 00:13:55,015
I've got a loving wife and great kids.

353
00:13:55,150 --> 00:14:00,353
Um, I've got a family that
really misses me and needs me.

354
00:14:00,489 --> 00:14:03,657
Freja Ollengaurd, the volleyball
player, had a family, too.

355
00:14:03,742 --> 00:14:05,826
They miss her quite a lot.

356
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:08,445
And that... That is so tragic.

357
00:14:08,530 --> 00:14:11,865
And I'm so sorry she was driven
to kill herself by trolling.

358
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,867
It's... It's wrong.

359
00:14:13,952 --> 00:14:16,870
But, you know, I just sort
of set things in motion.

360
00:14:17,005 --> 00:14:18,922
See, I'm a satirist.

361
00:14:19,041 --> 00:14:22,509
I challenge people's point of
views by being sort of edgy.

362
00:14:22,594 --> 00:14:24,377
And sometimes, people
can be like, "Whoa!"

363
00:14:24,463 --> 00:14:26,630
and mistake that for
hate, but it's not hate.

364
00:14:26,715 --> 00:14:29,549
It's pointing out
hypocrisies in our society.

365
00:14:29,685 --> 00:14:33,053
You're so full of skinkinslat
I can smell it from here.

366
00:14:33,188 --> 00:14:35,522
If you say mean things and you're mean,

367
00:14:35,607 --> 00:14:37,440
then I agree you should be killed.

368
00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:40,310
But if you're being
funny, which spreads joy...

369
00:14:40,395 --> 00:14:42,729
You really think my plan is to kill you?

370
00:14:42,815 --> 00:14:44,648
It's not?

371
00:14:44,733 --> 00:14:46,032
Leave us.

372
00:14:46,118 --> 00:14:47,951
Go. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

373
00:14:49,238 --> 00:14:53,490
Do you want to know what's really funny?

374
00:14:58,747 --> 00:15:01,832
Mr. President, the bombers
are en route to Europe.

375
00:15:01,917 --> 00:15:04,134
Are you sure you want
to proceed with this?

376
00:15:04,253 --> 00:15:06,169
Yeah, yeah. Bomb the shit out of them.

377
00:15:06,255 --> 00:15:07,420
We have to be tough here.

378
00:15:07,556 --> 00:15:10,590
Mr. President, the Grand Duke
of Luxembourg is on line one.

379
00:15:10,676 --> 00:15:12,509
The Chairman of the Workers
Party is on line two.

380
00:15:12,594 --> 00:15:14,644
And Kyle is on line three.

381
00:15:14,763 --> 00:15:17,097
Oh, geez. What does Kyle want?

382
00:15:17,733 --> 00:15:19,232
This is the president.

383
00:15:19,368 --> 00:15:21,485
Mr. Garrison, you can't bomb Denmark!

384
00:15:21,570 --> 00:15:22,953
Oh, for Pete's sake, Kyle.

385
00:15:23,072 --> 00:15:25,572
It-It's wrong, and it
could start a bigger war.

386
00:15:25,708 --> 00:15:28,825
Kyle, this is all very
serious diplomatic stuff, okay?

387
00:15:28,911 --> 00:15:32,312
You can't understand the political
complexities involved here.

388
00:15:33,916 --> 00:15:36,633
I understand you're a
dipshit little gay puppet.

389
00:15:36,752 --> 00:15:38,335
Excuse me?

390
00:15:38,420 --> 00:15:40,003
Letting your ex-boyfriend
manipulate you

391
00:15:40,089 --> 00:15:41,421
'cause you miss his sweet ass.

392
00:15:41,557 --> 00:15:42,756
Who told you that?

393
00:15:42,891 --> 00:15:43,974
Everyone knows that.

394
00:15:44,093 --> 00:15:46,476
You only do what your little bitch
boyfriend manipulates you into do.

395
00:15:46,595 --> 00:15:48,395
Kyle, I am the president.

396
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:49,897
You're a little dipshit president.

397
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:52,282
With a dirty asshole.

398
00:15:52,401 --> 00:15:53,734
With a dirty asshole.

399
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:56,904
And you shit out your dick.

400
00:15:57,039 --> 00:15:58,906
And you shit out your dick.

401
00:15:58,991 --> 00:16:00,374
Where'd you learn to talk like this?

402
00:16:00,459 --> 00:16:01,575
Daddy!

403
00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:03,243
Oh, that's what people think, huh?

404
00:16:03,379 --> 00:16:04,795
Well, maybe I won't bomb Denmark.

405
00:16:04,914 --> 00:16:06,246
What do you think about that?!

406
00:16:06,332 --> 00:16:08,131
Yeah, you will, 'cause you're
a little retarded shit bitch.

407
00:16:08,250 --> 00:16:09,750
God [bleep] damn it!

408
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:10,918
Hold up!

409
00:16:11,003 --> 00:16:13,247
Hold up on the [bleep] bombs a minute!

410
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:18,474
Hey, baby. Uh, how's it going?

411
00:16:18,609 --> 00:16:21,143
I don't understand what
any of these symbols mean,

412
00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:22,895
so, in my head, I'm
trying to replace them

413
00:16:22,980 --> 00:16:25,481
with something I know
to try and see patterns.

414
00:16:25,616 --> 00:16:28,234
Okay, cool. Um, babe, you
remember that funny thing

415
00:16:28,319 --> 00:16:29,785
you were saying about
soup the other day?

416
00:16:29,871 --> 00:16:30,986
What was that again?

417
00:16:31,072 --> 00:16:33,873
And when I do that, I can
see how everything lines up,

418
00:16:33,991 --> 00:16:35,908
except for one thing.

419
00:16:37,628 --> 00:16:42,998
Heidi: [Thinking] I call
it [echoing] emoji analysis.

420
00:16:43,134 --> 00:16:47,920
[Echoing] Emoji analysis.

421
00:16:48,005 --> 00:16:49,505
Do you... Do you remember

422
00:16:49,640 --> 00:16:51,140
that funny voice you did at McDonald's?

423
00:16:51,225 --> 00:16:52,308
You were like, "Could you...

424
00:16:52,393 --> 00:16:53,676
Could you hand me my
water," or something.

425
00:16:53,811 --> 00:16:55,177
I can't... I can't remember.

426
00:16:55,313 --> 00:16:56,979
Those two don't line up, babe.

427
00:16:57,065 --> 00:16:58,647
The only things that are out of order.

428
00:16:58,733 --> 00:17:00,266
Or the time you said
the thing about clouds

429
00:17:00,351 --> 00:17:02,234
and I was laughing so
hard... What was that again?

430
00:17:02,353 --> 00:17:03,602
Excuse me.

431
00:17:03,688 --> 00:17:05,604
Is it possible that the
seventh line from the right

432
00:17:05,690 --> 00:17:08,274
and the third one up from the
bottom left are out of sequence?

433
00:17:10,027 --> 00:17:10,993
I'm sorry?

434
00:17:11,079 --> 00:17:13,245
That stuff there. It's
in the wrong place.

435
00:17:13,364 --> 00:17:15,030
It needs to come before that.

436
00:17:15,116 --> 00:17:17,700
Wait a minute. She might
be on to something here.

437
00:17:17,785 --> 00:17:19,034
Okay, okay, now could you just do

438
00:17:19,170 --> 00:17:21,120
the "my vagina" thing for them?

439
00:17:21,205 --> 00:17:22,872
Could you just say, "my vagina"?

440
00:17:22,957 --> 00:17:24,790
They're out of sequence! I'll show you!

441
00:17:26,544 --> 00:17:28,878
What the [bleep] is happening?

442
00:17:30,148 --> 00:17:32,965
Do you remember, Mr. Skankhunt,

443
00:17:33,050 --> 00:17:34,884
when you and your little buddies

444
00:17:35,019 --> 00:17:37,603
trolled the entire country of Denmark?

445
00:17:37,722 --> 00:17:39,388
And that was wrong, too.

446
00:17:39,524 --> 00:17:41,857
I certainly want to apologize for that.

447
00:17:41,943 --> 00:17:43,559
That was certainly a display

448
00:17:43,644 --> 00:17:45,778
of the power of trolling, wasn't it?

449
00:17:45,897 --> 00:17:50,483
But what would be even more impressive?

450
00:17:50,568 --> 00:17:52,318
I-I don't understand.

451
00:17:52,403 --> 00:17:57,072
What if you could
troll the entire world?

452
00:17:57,158 --> 00:18:00,242
Somebody who could
rise to political power

453
00:18:00,378 --> 00:18:03,129
through nothing more than
pushing people's buttons

454
00:18:03,247 --> 00:18:05,414
and getting them all riled up,

455
00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:07,249
become the leader of...

456
00:18:07,335 --> 00:18:09,668
a Scandinavian country, perhaps,

457
00:18:09,754 --> 00:18:12,588
get them to listen to you when, actually

458
00:18:12,723 --> 00:18:16,091
[American accent] you're
not even [bleep] Danish.

459
00:18:16,227 --> 00:18:17,643
No way.

460
00:18:17,762 --> 00:18:20,980
Use that country to create a machine

461
00:18:21,098 --> 00:18:23,732
that relies on the shittiness of people

462
00:18:23,818 --> 00:18:25,768
to [bleep] over other people

463
00:18:25,853 --> 00:18:30,189
and watch the whole world
go completely batshit.

464
00:18:30,274 --> 00:18:33,108
[Danish accent] Attention
all Troll Trace workers.

465
00:18:33,244 --> 00:18:37,112
Please report to assembly hall
one for a big announcement.

466
00:18:37,248 --> 00:18:39,832
[American accent]
Completely fool everyone

467
00:18:39,951 --> 00:18:43,669
and keep your real intentions
completely anonymous.

468
00:18:43,788 --> 00:18:47,623
You would... deliberately
start World War III,

469
00:18:47,758 --> 00:18:50,376
let the people of Denmark die,

470
00:18:50,461 --> 00:18:53,095
set everyone on Earth
against each other?

471
00:18:53,181 --> 00:18:54,380
Why?!

472
00:18:54,465 --> 00:18:59,101
Because it's freakin' hilarious!

473
00:18:59,187 --> 00:19:02,972
Getting a Scandinavian
country to fight trolls

474
00:19:03,057 --> 00:19:05,891
by building a giant
machine that actually shows

475
00:19:05,977 --> 00:19:08,777
everyone on Earth is
kind of a troll, too?

476
00:19:08,863 --> 00:19:10,980
That's not funny.

477
00:19:11,115 --> 00:19:12,648
That's not funny?!

478
00:19:12,783 --> 00:19:14,650
Don't be a fag, dude.

479
00:19:14,735 --> 00:19:17,319
That's real bro shit there.

480
00:19:17,455 --> 00:19:20,072
Sorry to step on your
[bleep] dicks in the mouth

481
00:19:20,157 --> 00:19:22,825
and tit jokes, you amateur little pussy.

482
00:19:22,960 --> 00:19:25,544
Come on! Have some [bleep] balls!

483
00:19:25,663 --> 00:19:27,496
You can't do this to people!

484
00:19:27,632 --> 00:19:28,831
It's not right!

485
00:19:28,916 --> 00:19:31,200
[Chuckles] Listen to you.

486
00:19:31,236 --> 00:19:34,253
[Danish accent] All right,
everyone. Show's about to begin.

487
00:19:34,338 --> 00:19:35,421
[Clicks]

488
00:19:37,258 --> 00:19:39,308
[Beeps]

489
00:19:42,847 --> 00:19:45,898
[Song playing]

490
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:58,627
What the [bleep] is going on?

491
00:20:05,687 --> 00:20:10,039
♪ Never gonna give you up,
never gonna let you down ♪

492
00:20:10,124 --> 00:20:13,960
♪ Never gonna run around
and desert you ♪

493
00:20:14,078 --> 00:20:16,495
- ♪ Never gonna make you cry...
- ♪ Wow. That's pretty impressive.

494
00:20:16,581 --> 00:20:18,497
♪ ...never gonna say goodbye ♪

495
00:20:18,583 --> 00:20:20,506
Wait!

496
00:20:28,476 --> 00:20:30,977
Ike. It's time.

497
00:20:31,095 --> 00:20:33,562
I don't know if I'm strong
enough to go through with this,

498
00:20:33,648 --> 00:20:35,815
but it's the only way now.

499
00:20:35,933 --> 00:20:37,233
I know.

500
00:20:37,318 --> 00:20:40,152
Just remember... I always
loved you, little brother.

501
00:20:40,271 --> 00:20:42,655
I love you, too, big brother.

502
00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:45,491
Let's just get it over with.

503
00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:49,028
[Music plays softly]

504
00:20:50,581 --> 00:20:51,998
Mommy.

505
00:20:52,116 --> 00:20:53,949
Yes?

506
00:20:54,035 --> 00:20:55,501
Suck my balls.

507
00:20:55,620 --> 00:20:57,086
You're a fat bitch.

508
00:20:57,171 --> 00:20:58,754
What?!

509
00:20:58,840 --> 00:21:01,173
You get back here, you little monster!

510
00:21:01,292 --> 00:21:03,709
I have had it with you!

511
00:21:03,795 --> 00:21:05,711
Don't you run away from me, Ike!

512
00:21:05,797 --> 00:21:07,463
Who do you think you are?!

513
00:21:07,598 --> 00:21:10,132
Where is he? Where is your brother?

514
00:21:10,218 --> 00:21:11,300
He's in the pantry.

515
00:21:11,386 --> 00:21:13,269
Don't you try and hide from me now!

516
00:21:13,354 --> 00:21:15,855
You are in big trouble, Ike!

517
00:21:15,973 --> 00:21:18,474
What?! What, what?!

518
00:21:18,559 --> 00:21:19,642
Kyle, you open this door right now!

519
00:21:19,727 --> 00:21:21,777
- Ma. Mom, we are really sorry.
- Open this door!

520
00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:23,446
But Ike and I need to do something,

521
00:21:23,531 --> 00:21:25,481
and we have to be able
to use the computers.

522
00:21:25,616 --> 00:21:27,700
What, what?! No computers!

523
00:21:27,802 --> 00:21:29,735
Do not touch the computers!

524
00:21:29,837 --> 00:21:31,003
We have to do this, Mom.

525
00:21:31,105 --> 00:21:32,888
It's the only thing that
can save our family now.

526
00:21:32,989 --> 00:21:34,331
You are done!

527
00:21:34,332 --> 00:21:37,753
You hear me?!
You are both done!

528
00:21:39,060 --> 00:21:42,202
Sync and corrections by rickSG
www.addic7ed.com