1
00:00:02,474 --> 00:00:04,541
If we're going to be staying
in this apartment,
2
00:00:04,543 --> 00:00:05,976
would you be interested
in doing a little
3
00:00:05,978 --> 00:00:07,377
redecorating?
4
00:00:08,213 --> 00:00:11,348
Oh, actually, I would.
5
00:00:11,350 --> 00:00:13,216
Great, what'd you have in mind?
6
00:00:13,218 --> 00:00:16,353
Let's take every single thing
from the other apartment
7
00:00:16,355 --> 00:00:18,455
and put it in here.
8
00:00:18,457 --> 00:00:20,957
Well, how about we start
a little smaller?
9
00:00:20,959 --> 00:00:23,393
Like moving
the furniture around.
10
00:00:23,395 --> 00:00:25,629
You know, I have always thought
11
00:00:25,631 --> 00:00:27,564
that this couch
would look fantastic
12
00:00:27,566 --> 00:00:30,200
on the curb
in front of the building.
13
00:00:30,202 --> 00:00:33,703
Look, we can't just
throw away Penny's stuff,
14
00:00:33,705 --> 00:00:37,273
but we can ask
if she wants any of it back.
15
00:00:38,110 --> 00:00:40,143
You know, I wonder how
she feels about
16
00:00:40,145 --> 00:00:42,412
all this artwork.
17
00:00:42,414 --> 00:00:45,048
Well, I'm sure
she misses this one.
18
00:00:45,050 --> 00:00:48,418
I mean, it's the greatest gift
I've ever given anybody.
19
00:00:54,026 --> 00:00:58,828
It truly does capture the beauty
of your friendship with Penny.
20
00:01:00,766 --> 00:01:02,499
It may have appreciated
in value.
21
00:01:02,501 --> 00:01:05,669
The artist killed himself
shortly after painting that.
22
00:01:06,705 --> 00:01:10,373
Yeah, it seems only right
that she have it back.
23
00:01:10,375 --> 00:01:11,975
I can't wait to see
the look on her face
24
00:01:11,977 --> 00:01:14,577
when I give it to her again.
25
00:01:19,851 --> 00:01:23,420
Look, it's the same smile
she has in the painting.
26
00:01:24,489 --> 00:01:27,891
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
27
00:01:27,893 --> 00:01:31,227
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
28
00:01:31,229 --> 00:01:32,796
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
29
00:01:32,798 --> 00:01:35,365
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
30
00:01:35,367 --> 00:01:38,001
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
31
00:01:38,003 --> 00:01:40,670
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
32
00:01:40,672 --> 00:01:42,572
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
33
00:01:42,574 --> 00:01:43,074
♪ Bang! ♪
34
00:01:43,075 --> 00:01:45,075
♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x10 ♪
The Property Division Collision
Original
35
00:01:45,076 --> 00:01:47,076
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
36
00:01:49,487 --> 00:01:52,488
Yeah... there's hooks in the
closet, I can hang it right now.
37
00:01:52,490 --> 00:01:54,323
Oh, no, no,
Th-those hooks are gone.
38
00:01:54,325 --> 00:01:55,558
What happened to them?
39
00:01:55,560 --> 00:01:57,593
Uh, we ran out of candy
on Halloween,
40
00:01:57,595 --> 00:02:00,296
I was just giving
everything away.
41
00:02:01,132 --> 00:02:02,799
Hey, guys, what are you...?
42
00:02:02,801 --> 00:02:05,034
Oh, that's here, cool.
43
00:02:05,036 --> 00:02:07,804
Amy wants me to have it.
44
00:02:07,806 --> 00:02:09,472
Well, it would be selfish
of me to keep it.
45
00:02:09,474 --> 00:02:11,307
B-But it's a picture of you.
46
00:02:11,309 --> 00:02:13,109
And you.
47
00:02:13,111 --> 00:02:15,211
But you commissioned it.
48
00:02:15,213 --> 00:02:17,380
To give to you.
49
00:02:17,382 --> 00:02:19,649
But you like it so much.
50
00:02:19,651 --> 00:02:21,617
So do you.
51
00:02:22,654 --> 00:02:24,320
I seem to be losing.
52
00:02:24,322 --> 00:02:26,956
Yes, you do.
53
00:02:26,958 --> 00:02:28,725
You know, Leonard,
the more I think about it,
54
00:02:28,727 --> 00:02:31,394
there are a number of mutually
owned items in this apartment
55
00:02:31,396 --> 00:02:32,862
that you and I
should go through.
56
00:02:32,864 --> 00:02:34,163
Uh, for example...
57
00:02:35,166 --> 00:02:37,500
who gets our beloved sword,
Longclaw?
58
00:02:37,502 --> 00:02:38,501
Why don't you keep it?
59
00:02:38,503 --> 00:02:39,769
That seems fair;
we did just give you
60
00:02:39,771 --> 00:02:41,637
the painting.
61
00:02:41,639 --> 00:02:43,005
Yeah, I don't need
anything around
62
00:02:43,007 --> 00:02:45,174
that I can stab myself with.
63
00:02:45,176 --> 00:02:46,609
SHELDON:
Wonderful,
64
00:02:46,611 --> 00:02:47,844
Longclaw is mine.
65
00:02:47,846 --> 00:02:49,812
And how about you keep
66
00:02:49,814 --> 00:02:52,014
our... avocado plant?
67
00:02:55,987 --> 00:02:58,588
Sounds right...
a limited edition collectible
68
00:02:58,590 --> 00:02:59,956
worth hundreds of dollars
69
00:02:59,958 --> 00:03:01,190
and a thing
70
00:03:01,192 --> 00:03:04,227
that grew out of a thing
we fished from the trash.
71
00:03:04,229 --> 00:03:07,130
Although, Amy and I did
just move in together,
72
00:03:07,132 --> 00:03:09,766
and a plant is
a lovely housewarming gift.
73
00:03:09,768 --> 00:03:11,868
Fine, take the plant.
74
00:03:11,870 --> 00:03:13,369
Oh, we got a sword
and a plant;
75
00:03:13,371 --> 00:03:14,937
our apartment's
really shaping up.
76
00:03:18,443 --> 00:03:20,243
Stuart, you didn't have
to get us a baby gift.
77
00:03:20,245 --> 00:03:21,511
Oh.
78
00:03:21,513 --> 00:03:24,046
Just homemade coupons for things
you might need help with
79
00:03:24,048 --> 00:03:25,448
before the baby gets here.
80
00:03:25,450 --> 00:03:28,551
Going to the grocery store,
driving you to the doctor.
81
00:03:28,553 --> 00:03:31,854
If you're not in a hurry,
I can dig you a koi pond.
82
00:03:33,825 --> 00:03:35,725
A foot massage?
83
00:03:35,727 --> 00:03:39,061
And that's not me being creepy,
that's for either of you.
84
00:03:41,232 --> 00:03:44,367
This is very nice,
Stuart, thank you.
85
00:03:44,369 --> 00:03:47,503
How come this one's on
the back of an eviction notice?
86
00:03:47,505 --> 00:03:51,107
Oh, yeah.
Uh, now that you mention it...
87
00:03:51,109 --> 00:03:53,442
can I live here?
88
00:03:54,813 --> 00:03:57,280
Stuart, we'd love
to help you out,
89
00:03:57,282 --> 00:04:00,316
but this a bad time;
we're about to have a baby.
90
00:04:00,318 --> 00:04:02,051
Or is that why
this is a great time?
91
00:04:02,053 --> 00:04:04,053
Think about it...
when that baby comes,
92
00:04:04,055 --> 00:04:06,289
you're gonna need all the help
you can get.
93
00:04:06,291 --> 00:04:07,723
Thank you,
94
00:04:07,725 --> 00:04:09,692
but I'm not really sure.
95
00:04:10,628 --> 00:04:12,161
Hang on, maybe it's
not the worst idea.
96
00:04:12,163 --> 00:04:15,097
I mean, he did do a good job
taking care of my mother.
97
00:04:15,099 --> 00:04:19,368
That woman didn't get heat rash
once with me on powder patrol.
98
00:04:21,105 --> 00:04:22,438
Hey...
99
00:04:22,440 --> 00:04:24,006
I guess you could stay
for a few days
100
00:04:24,008 --> 00:04:25,308
and we'll see how it goes.
101
00:04:25,310 --> 00:04:26,709
Thank you.
102
00:04:26,711 --> 00:04:28,511
And it's only temporary,
103
00:04:28,513 --> 00:04:30,680
just till I get back on my feet.
104
00:04:30,682 --> 00:04:33,482
or the baby goes off to college,
whichever happens first.
105
00:04:35,220 --> 00:04:37,053
(chuckles)
When would you move in?
106
00:04:37,055 --> 00:04:39,822
Well, uh, my car broke down
in your driveway,
107
00:04:39,824 --> 00:04:42,225
so I'm gonna say now.
108
00:04:43,328 --> 00:04:45,228
But I am ready to be helpful.
109
00:04:45,230 --> 00:04:47,096
In fact...
110
00:04:47,098 --> 00:04:48,064
I'm gonna go vacuum.
111
00:04:48,066 --> 00:04:51,701
Hmm. Actually I just
did that this morning.
112
00:04:51,703 --> 00:04:53,102
Okay.
113
00:04:53,104 --> 00:04:54,370
Then I'll dust.
114
00:04:54,372 --> 00:04:56,572
I did that, too.
115
00:04:56,574 --> 00:04:59,876
Then I'll check the batteries
in the smoke detectors.
116
00:04:59,878 --> 00:05:01,711
Howard just did that.
117
00:05:01,713 --> 00:05:04,780
Yeah, let him do it.
118
00:05:08,386 --> 00:05:09,986
(gasps)
Oh.
119
00:05:09,988 --> 00:05:11,354
Remember when we got this
120
00:05:11,356 --> 00:05:12,788
at Comic-Con?
121
00:05:12,790 --> 00:05:14,090
LEONARD:
Oh, yeah.
122
00:05:14,092 --> 00:05:17,093
The Mr. Spock cuckoo clock.
123
00:05:17,095 --> 00:05:20,663
Live long and prosper.
Live long and prosper.
124
00:05:20,665 --> 00:05:22,431
Live long
and prosper.
125
00:05:22,433 --> 00:05:24,433
Live long and prosper.
126
00:05:24,435 --> 00:05:26,769
It's one of a kind.
127
00:05:26,771 --> 00:05:29,872
So if it breaks
there'd be none of it?
128
00:05:31,075 --> 00:05:32,208
Well, Leonard,
129
00:05:32,210 --> 00:05:34,043
you know, who should keep this?
130
00:05:34,045 --> 00:05:37,947
On the one hand, I love
Mr. Spock more than you do.
131
00:05:37,949 --> 00:05:41,217
On the other hand, I care more
about clocks than you do.
132
00:05:41,219 --> 00:05:42,752
So you think you should keep it?
133
00:05:42,754 --> 00:05:44,020
I'll be right across the hall.
134
00:05:44,022 --> 00:05:46,188
You'll probably be able
to hear it.
135
00:05:48,393 --> 00:05:49,659
Keep the clock, Sheldon.
136
00:05:49,661 --> 00:05:50,793
Thank you.
137
00:05:50,795 --> 00:05:53,396
Thank you.
Thank you?
138
00:05:54,265 --> 00:05:55,998
Oh, now...
139
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,934
(grunts)
what about
140
00:05:57,936 --> 00:05:59,402
our 3-D chess set?
141
00:05:59,404 --> 00:06:00,469
Let me guess, you want it.
142
00:06:00,471 --> 00:06:01,771
Well, no,
143
00:06:01,773 --> 00:06:03,439
I just didn't think you'd want
a physical reminder
144
00:06:03,441 --> 00:06:06,175
of a game you never
managed to win.
145
00:06:06,177 --> 00:06:08,611
As a kindness, I should probably
take all the games.
146
00:06:08,613 --> 00:06:11,013
You know what, Sheldon, take it.
147
00:06:11,015 --> 00:06:12,581
In fact, you can
have everything.
148
00:06:12,583 --> 00:06:14,016
I really don't care.
149
00:06:14,252 --> 00:06:16,019
Are you sure?
150
00:06:16,021 --> 00:06:18,855
These items represent
our shared times together.
151
00:06:18,857 --> 00:06:20,356
Well, now they're yours.
Leonard....
152
00:06:20,358 --> 00:06:21,691
Well, you know
what's gonna happen.
153
00:06:21,693 --> 00:06:22,959
He's just gonna come up
with some reason
154
00:06:22,961 --> 00:06:24,427
why everything should be his.
155
00:06:24,429 --> 00:06:26,296
For a man so good
at predicting my moves,
156
00:06:26,298 --> 00:06:28,331
how come you stink at 3-D chess?
157
00:06:29,434 --> 00:06:32,068
Sheldon, you're-you're being
a little selfish.
158
00:06:32,070 --> 00:06:34,337
Why don't you let Leonard
keep a few things?
159
00:06:34,339 --> 00:06:35,638
It's not my fault
I'm bad at sharing;
160
00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:37,440
I skipped kindergarten.
161
00:06:37,442 --> 00:06:39,042
You know what?
162
00:06:39,044 --> 00:06:41,611
There is one thing I would like.
163
00:06:41,613 --> 00:06:43,980
Yeah, take whatever you want.
164
00:06:43,982 --> 00:06:46,149
I would like to keep...
165
00:06:46,151 --> 00:06:48,918
the official flag
of our apartment.
166
00:06:49,788 --> 00:06:52,121
But you don't even like flags.
167
00:06:52,123 --> 00:06:53,923
Yeah, I like this one.
168
00:06:55,961 --> 00:06:58,261
But I designed it.
169
00:06:58,263 --> 00:07:01,364
But you made me order it because
you were "too well-known"
170
00:07:01,366 --> 00:07:05,468
in the flag community
and they'd jack up the price.
171
00:07:05,470 --> 00:07:06,803
But you don't even understand
172
00:07:06,805 --> 00:07:09,138
its symbolism.
Oh, I do.
173
00:07:09,140 --> 00:07:12,508
The-the field of blue
represents you being miserable,
174
00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:15,178
and the lion sticking
its tongue out means
175
00:07:15,180 --> 00:07:17,046
I'm happy about it.
176
00:07:20,151 --> 00:07:22,585
Come along, Amy.
177
00:07:22,587 --> 00:07:24,854
I know when I'm not wanted.
178
00:07:25,757 --> 00:07:29,859
I don't think you do,
but all right.
179
00:07:32,163 --> 00:07:34,797
Stuart, you cooked?
180
00:07:34,799 --> 00:07:36,432
How did you know it wasn't me?
181
00:07:36,434 --> 00:07:38,134
There's only three
people in this house,
182
00:07:38,136 --> 00:07:40,270
and you'd still be
my fifth guess.
183
00:07:42,274 --> 00:07:44,674
(doorbell rings)
That's Raj.
184
00:07:44,676 --> 00:07:45,842
You guys relax,
185
00:07:45,844 --> 00:07:46,943
I'll get it.
186
00:07:46,945 --> 00:07:49,646
Have some bread
while it's still warm.
187
00:07:49,648 --> 00:07:51,047
(chuckles)
188
00:07:51,049 --> 00:07:52,415
It's like we have a butler.
189
00:07:52,417 --> 00:07:55,451
If I had a Batsuit
I'd be Bruce Wayne.
190
00:07:56,288 --> 00:07:59,455
You have a Batsuit.
191
00:07:59,457 --> 00:08:01,924
It's pajamas, there's no cape.
192
00:08:03,228 --> 00:08:04,861
Hey, Raj.
193
00:08:04,863 --> 00:08:06,095
Hey, Stuart.
194
00:08:06,097 --> 00:08:08,598
What are you doing here?
Oh, I'm living here again.
195
00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:11,934
Do, uh, Howard
and Bernadette know?
196
00:08:11,936 --> 00:08:15,305
Or is it like a opossum
in the walls kind of thing?
197
00:08:15,307 --> 00:08:19,108
No, I needed a place to stay
198
00:08:19,110 --> 00:08:20,276
and, with the baby coming,
199
00:08:20,278 --> 00:08:21,978
I figured they could
use some extra help.
200
00:08:21,980 --> 00:08:24,514
Okay, cool.
201
00:08:24,516 --> 00:08:25,848
Anyway, come on in,
dinner's ready.
202
00:08:25,850 --> 00:08:27,583
Oh, but I bought
Chinese takeout.
203
00:08:27,585 --> 00:08:29,786
Oh, okay.
204
00:08:29,788 --> 00:08:32,722
Well, if Bernadette wants her
ankles to swell up even more,
205
00:08:32,724 --> 00:08:33,923
she can have that.
206
00:08:38,063 --> 00:08:40,930
Is the Wi-Fi working for you?
207
00:08:40,932 --> 00:08:43,299
Uh, hang on.
208
00:08:43,301 --> 00:08:45,168
I don't think so,
I'm clicking on
209
00:08:45,170 --> 00:08:46,469
"One weird trick
for a flat belly,"
210
00:08:46,471 --> 00:08:47,470
but I'm still seeing
211
00:08:47,472 --> 00:08:50,773
"Celebrities who look like
their pets."
212
00:08:50,775 --> 00:08:52,875
Oh, I knew it,
213
00:08:52,877 --> 00:08:54,510
Sheldon changed the password.
214
00:08:54,512 --> 00:08:55,511
Are you sure?
215
00:08:55,513 --> 00:08:57,013
Well, the new network name is,
216
00:08:57,015 --> 00:09:00,883
"Ha ha ha, now I've got you,"
so...
217
00:09:02,354 --> 00:09:05,555
It's either Sheldon
or Gargamel from The Smurfs.
218
00:09:05,557 --> 00:09:07,590
What a jerk.
219
00:09:07,592 --> 00:09:10,093
You're good at revenge;
how do we get him back?
220
00:09:10,095 --> 00:09:11,794
Well, my go-to move is usually
221
00:09:11,796 --> 00:09:13,296
sleep with the
person's boyfriend,
222
00:09:13,298 --> 00:09:16,899
but I kind of feel like
I'm already doing that.
223
00:09:23,541 --> 00:09:25,041
Sheldon, I know what you did,
224
00:09:25,043 --> 00:09:27,610
now change the password back.
225
00:09:27,612 --> 00:09:31,481
Well, powder me in sugar
and call me a donut,
226
00:09:31,483 --> 00:09:34,984
if it isn't Leonard Hofstadter.
227
00:09:34,986 --> 00:09:37,920
Sheldon, I'm warning you,
I can play this game, too.
228
00:09:37,922 --> 00:09:39,789
If it's like
your 3-D chess game,
229
00:09:39,791 --> 00:09:42,425
then you're out of your length,
width and depth.
230
00:09:43,328 --> 00:09:45,728
Amy, get the Neosporin,
231
00:09:45,730 --> 00:09:48,231
somebody just got burned.
232
00:09:49,033 --> 00:09:51,501
All right, I tried.
233
00:09:51,503 --> 00:09:53,736
"All right,
I tried."
234
00:09:53,738 --> 00:09:56,439
That should be the title
of your autobiography.
235
00:09:57,675 --> 00:10:00,777
Ooh, a second-degree burn.
236
00:10:01,713 --> 00:10:02,879
I've got the Neosporin.
237
00:10:02,881 --> 00:10:04,680
Who got hurt?
238
00:10:04,682 --> 00:10:06,048
It's a good thing you're cute.
239
00:10:14,492 --> 00:10:17,827
So, I was reading how it's
a good idea for new parents
240
00:10:17,829 --> 00:10:19,996
to take an
infant CPR class.
241
00:10:19,998 --> 00:10:22,465
Yeah, we've been
meaning to do that.
242
00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:25,234
Oh, I know a CPR instructor
who'll come to the house.
243
00:10:25,236 --> 00:10:27,170
That'd be great.
STUART: I'll give him a call.
244
00:10:27,172 --> 00:10:28,871
We met when I was sleeping
on the beach
245
00:10:28,873 --> 00:10:30,406
and he thought I was dead.
246
00:10:33,211 --> 00:10:34,644
Thank you again
for cooking.
247
00:10:34,646 --> 00:10:37,013
It's getting tough for me
to be on my feet all day.
248
00:10:37,015 --> 00:10:39,882
You just kick back and relax;
I've got it all under control.
249
00:10:40,752 --> 00:10:42,985
Although it was
already under control.
250
00:10:42,987 --> 00:10:44,520
(clears throat)
251
00:10:44,522 --> 00:10:46,756
I'm sorry,
you mumbled something?
252
00:10:47,625 --> 00:10:49,392
It's just that
253
00:10:49,394 --> 00:10:51,427
they've had plenty of help.
254
00:10:51,429 --> 00:10:53,696
Well, you know what they say...
it takes a village.
255
00:10:53,698 --> 00:10:56,165
Well, they already
had a village.
256
00:10:57,402 --> 00:10:59,202
I noticed the village
couldn't find time
257
00:10:59,204 --> 00:11:00,736
to put the crib together.
258
00:11:00,738 --> 00:11:01,971
Yeah, well, maybe
259
00:11:01,973 --> 00:11:03,739
the village was too busy
checking out
260
00:11:03,741 --> 00:11:05,508
the local Montessori school
for the new arrival.
261
00:11:05,510 --> 00:11:06,542
You mean the one
262
00:11:06,544 --> 00:11:08,478
with the empty beer bottles
in the sandbox?
263
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:10,179
We'll pass, thank you.
264
00:11:11,749 --> 00:11:14,650
Do something, Batman.
265
00:11:18,490 --> 00:11:19,455
(gasps)
266
00:11:19,457 --> 00:11:21,657
Hey.
267
00:11:23,328 --> 00:11:25,161
What do you think you're doing?
268
00:11:25,163 --> 00:11:28,197
Separating my delicates.
269
00:11:29,501 --> 00:11:31,167
This is the level
you're stooping to.
270
00:11:31,169 --> 00:11:32,134
No.
271
00:11:32,136 --> 00:11:37,206
This is the level
I am stooping to.
272
00:11:40,645 --> 00:11:45,481
I believe that is flag
to crotch four, checkmate.
273
00:11:46,284 --> 00:11:49,418
Easy-peasy, ooh, so breezy.
274
00:11:58,971 --> 00:11:59,971
Hey, what's up?
275
00:12:00,039 --> 00:12:01,439
I'm here to put
the crib together.
276
00:12:01,441 --> 00:12:03,274
Ooh, sorry, I already did it.
277
00:12:03,276 --> 00:12:07,111
Oh, I don't know if you realize
this, but I bought that crib.
278
00:12:07,113 --> 00:12:11,515
Oh, yeah, I read about that
on WhoGivesACrap.com
279
00:12:13,319 --> 00:12:14,719
Why are you being like this?
280
00:12:15,788 --> 00:12:17,655
Because I love
Howard and Bernadette
281
00:12:17,657 --> 00:12:21,058
and if I want to keep mooching
off them, I need to be helpful.
282
00:12:21,928 --> 00:12:22,993
Hey, this pregnancy had
283
00:12:22,995 --> 00:12:24,028
an emotionally-needy third wheel
284
00:12:24,030 --> 00:12:26,163
way before you came along.
285
00:12:27,700 --> 00:12:29,500
Why can't there be four wheels?
286
00:12:29,502 --> 00:12:32,069
Is this what you do
when I'm not here,
287
00:12:32,071 --> 00:12:34,305
make really good points?
288
00:12:34,307 --> 00:12:38,109
Look-Look, just come in and
help me build a baby swing.
289
00:12:38,111 --> 00:12:39,910
Thank you.
290
00:12:39,912 --> 00:12:43,114
If you're hungry you can eat
your takeout; nobody touched it.
291
00:12:45,284 --> 00:12:46,751
I think I'm gonna
go for a run.
292
00:12:46,753 --> 00:12:48,085
You want to come?
293
00:12:48,087 --> 00:12:50,988
No, last time that old lady
in the park kept screaming,
294
00:12:50,990 --> 00:12:53,591
"Watch out, he's
right behind you."
295
00:12:57,296 --> 00:12:58,829
Hello?
296
00:12:58,831 --> 00:13:02,166
Hey, how you doing?
297
00:13:03,002 --> 00:13:05,269
Uh, can I help you?
298
00:13:05,271 --> 00:13:08,939
I don't think so,
but you're sweet for asking.
299
00:13:09,776 --> 00:13:10,841
What-What are you doing
300
00:13:10,843 --> 00:13:12,343
in our apartment?
301
00:13:12,345 --> 00:13:16,714
Oh, I rented a room from
your neighbor, the tall guy...
302
00:13:16,716 --> 00:13:19,417
dressed like a little boy.
303
00:13:20,253 --> 00:13:21,786
Unbelievable.
304
00:13:21,788 --> 00:13:24,388
Okay, uh, I don't know
what he told you,
305
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:26,090
but you can't stay here.
306
00:13:26,092 --> 00:13:28,526
So, there are fresh linens
on the bed and...
307
00:13:28,528 --> 00:13:29,493
Oh.
308
00:13:29,495 --> 00:13:31,395
Well, now, I see
you've met Theodore.
309
00:13:33,032 --> 00:13:35,866
Theodore, these
are your new roommates,
310
00:13:35,868 --> 00:13:37,201
Leonard and Penny.
311
00:13:37,203 --> 00:13:38,536
They're very honest,
312
00:13:38,538 --> 00:13:40,104
but I would not leave
cash lying around.
313
00:13:40,106 --> 00:13:42,173
Sheldon,
314
00:13:42,175 --> 00:13:43,574
what do you think
you're doing?
315
00:13:43,576 --> 00:13:45,910
My room is paid up
until the end of the month,
316
00:13:45,912 --> 00:13:47,311
so I can do
with it whatever
317
00:13:47,313 --> 00:13:48,579
I please, which includes
318
00:13:48,581 --> 00:13:51,148
renting it out
for a dollar a night.
319
00:13:51,150 --> 00:13:52,983
It's like the '40s again.
320
00:13:56,155 --> 00:13:58,856
Anyway, I'll leave you be.
321
00:13:58,858 --> 00:14:00,057
I have to... oh, oh!
322
00:14:00,059 --> 00:14:02,159
He's expecting a newspaper
in the morning.
323
00:14:02,161 --> 00:14:04,361
Apparently,
they still make them.
324
00:14:04,363 --> 00:14:07,097
All right, Sheldon,
this is over the line.
325
00:14:07,099 --> 00:14:08,065
That's true,
326
00:14:08,067 --> 00:14:10,167
but had I done
something under the line,
327
00:14:10,169 --> 00:14:11,669
there wouldn't be a man
in your kitchen
328
00:14:11,671 --> 00:14:13,938
who can't produce
a single form of ID.
329
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:15,806
Oh, oh, I have a receipt
from a blood bank.
330
00:14:16,409 --> 00:14:18,876
I'm O-negative.
331
00:14:22,081 --> 00:14:24,815
And now you know as much
about him as I do.
332
00:14:28,187 --> 00:14:30,221
Oh, hey, Bernadette,
333
00:14:30,223 --> 00:14:32,256
the swing comes
with two different mobiles.
334
00:14:32,258 --> 00:14:36,126
The giraffes are pretty cute,
what do you think?
335
00:14:36,128 --> 00:14:37,862
Great, go with the giraffes.
336
00:14:37,864 --> 00:14:39,096
Although...
337
00:14:39,098 --> 00:14:41,432
the high contrast
of zebra stripes might provide
338
00:14:41,434 --> 00:14:43,534
better stimulus
for a developing baby.
339
00:14:44,604 --> 00:14:47,972
Yeah, you're probably right,
go with the zebras.
340
00:14:47,974 --> 00:14:49,773
Good choice, boss.
341
00:14:52,144 --> 00:14:54,812
At least my nose
is naturally brown.
342
00:14:58,584 --> 00:15:01,051
Hey, could you please go
to the market for me?
343
00:15:01,053 --> 00:15:02,920
Get Stuart or Raj to do it.
344
00:15:02,922 --> 00:15:05,656
Howie, they've been doing
everything for you.
345
00:15:05,658 --> 00:15:06,957
Mm, I know.
346
00:15:06,959 --> 00:15:09,493
It's really making me
lose respect for both of them.
347
00:15:10,296 --> 00:15:12,229
Please just go to the store.
348
00:15:12,231 --> 00:15:14,932
Fine.
349
00:15:14,934 --> 00:15:17,368
Who wants to drive me
to the store?
350
00:15:17,370 --> 00:15:18,903
KOOTHRAPPALI: Me!
STUART: I'll do it!
351
00:15:18,905 --> 00:15:19,970
Take Raj.
352
00:15:19,972 --> 00:15:23,407
Stuart is supposed
to paint my toenails.
353
00:15:34,186 --> 00:15:35,185
What do you think?
354
00:15:35,187 --> 00:15:36,520
Should we go to a hotel?
355
00:15:36,522 --> 00:15:38,522
And just leave
him here alone?
356
00:15:38,524 --> 00:15:39,990
Okay, I'll go to a hotel.
357
00:15:39,992 --> 00:15:42,459
Text me in the morning
if you're still alive.
358
00:15:45,097 --> 00:15:46,130
Uh, Theodore,
359
00:15:46,132 --> 00:15:47,364
how long
360
00:15:47,366 --> 00:15:49,833
are you planning
to stay exactly?
361
00:15:49,835 --> 00:15:52,336
Oh, thanks to the coins
I found in your couch,
362
00:15:52,338 --> 00:15:54,905
a day longer than I thought.
363
00:15:55,708 --> 00:15:57,541
This is ridiculous.
364
00:16:00,246 --> 00:16:02,346
I like the painting.
365
00:16:02,348 --> 00:16:04,448
Is that your mom?
366
00:16:09,055 --> 00:16:11,822
Sheldon, get out here!
367
00:16:12,625 --> 00:16:14,224
Will you keep it down?
368
00:16:14,226 --> 00:16:15,893
What kind of vengeful
bed and breakfast
369
00:16:15,895 --> 00:16:18,062
do you think I'm running?
370
00:16:18,064 --> 00:16:20,631
We lived together
13 years.
371
00:16:20,633 --> 00:16:21,932
How can you be so awful to me?
372
00:16:21,934 --> 00:16:23,367
I'm being awful?!
373
00:16:23,369 --> 00:16:25,436
You're the one who went
out of your way to hurt me.
374
00:16:25,438 --> 00:16:26,670
Because you were
being selfish.
375
00:16:26,672 --> 00:16:28,973
Dividing our belongings
is difficult.
376
00:16:28,975 --> 00:16:30,774
(laughing): Why?
I said I didn't care!
377
00:16:30,776 --> 00:16:32,242
THEODORE:
Excuse me.
378
00:16:32,244 --> 00:16:35,412
It's none of my business,
but it sounds like a lot
379
00:16:35,414 --> 00:16:39,583
of this anger
is coming from love.
380
00:16:41,420 --> 00:16:43,954
Yeah, thanks,
but nobody asked you.
381
00:16:43,956 --> 00:16:47,124
Well, I'm just gonna
keep on talking.
382
00:16:47,994 --> 00:16:49,259
Seems like, with Sheldon
383
00:16:49,261 --> 00:16:54,164
moving out, you're
in a new phase of your lives
384
00:16:54,166 --> 00:16:55,666
and it's easier
385
00:16:55,668 --> 00:16:58,669
to fight than
to face the feelings
386
00:16:58,671 --> 00:17:01,572
that you have for one another.
387
00:17:02,975 --> 00:17:05,376
I think he might be right.
388
00:17:05,378 --> 00:17:07,344
Also, who is that?
389
00:17:08,547 --> 00:17:11,415
I have to admit,
390
00:17:11,417 --> 00:17:13,050
leaving you to
move in with Amy
391
00:17:13,052 --> 00:17:15,486
has been harder than
I thought it would be.
392
00:17:15,488 --> 00:17:17,121
Well, for me, too.
393
00:17:17,123 --> 00:17:19,056
It's not the same
with you gone.
394
00:17:19,058 --> 00:17:20,758
If you're looking for a new guy
to live with...
395
00:17:20,760 --> 00:17:22,526
-No!
- We're good. Thank you.
396
00:17:23,829 --> 00:17:26,497
So, no one's gonna
tell me? Okay.
397
00:17:26,499 --> 00:17:27,831
Leonard,
398
00:17:27,833 --> 00:17:29,233
I would like us
to stop fighting
399
00:17:29,235 --> 00:17:30,601
about our possessions.
400
00:17:30,603 --> 00:17:32,236
Well, I'd like that, too.
401
00:17:32,238 --> 00:17:35,572
In fact, I want you to
keep the apartment flag,
402
00:17:35,574 --> 00:17:36,874
and I'm not
just saying that
403
00:17:36,876 --> 00:17:39,410
because it touched
your genitals.
404
00:17:39,412 --> 00:17:40,811
You promise?
405
00:17:40,813 --> 00:17:42,012
I do.
406
00:17:42,014 --> 00:17:43,647
And to show you that there
are no hard feelings,
407
00:17:43,649 --> 00:17:47,518
I am willing to rub my
genitals on it as well.
408
00:17:47,520 --> 00:17:48,919
Well...
409
00:17:48,921 --> 00:17:53,257
if we're rubbing genitals
on things, that's where I shine.
410
00:17:59,777 --> 00:18:02,411
Little lower to the left.
411
00:18:02,413 --> 00:18:05,281
A little more.
412
00:18:05,283 --> 00:18:06,716
Is it good?
413
00:18:06,718 --> 00:18:09,418
No, still hideous.
414
00:18:12,824 --> 00:18:15,357
Well, I'm sure
at some point,
415
00:18:15,359 --> 00:18:16,959
we won't even
notice it's there.
416
00:18:16,961 --> 00:18:17,927
Yeah, you'd think that,
417
00:18:17,929 --> 00:18:19,528
but after a while it starts
418
00:18:19,530 --> 00:18:22,031
showing up in your dreams.
419
00:18:22,867 --> 00:18:25,067
I think it brings
the room together.
420
00:18:27,739 --> 00:18:29,772
Hey, tomorrow who wants
to paint the nursery?
421
00:18:29,774 --> 00:18:30,639
I'll do it.
422
00:18:30,641 --> 00:18:31,774
Why do you get to do it?
423
00:18:31,776 --> 00:18:32,808
I'm the artist.
424
00:18:32,810 --> 00:18:33,909
Just because you're starving
425
00:18:33,911 --> 00:18:35,845
doesn't make you an artist.
426
00:18:35,847 --> 00:18:39,115
Just because I look sickly
doesn't mean I'm starving.
427
00:18:39,117 --> 00:18:41,083
BERNADETTE: Howard!
428
00:18:42,186 --> 00:18:44,954
Guys, you heard her,
go see what she wants.
429
00:18:46,824 --> 00:18:48,624
I think I'm in labor.
430
00:18:48,626 --> 00:18:49,959
Oh, oh, okay.
431
00:18:49,961 --> 00:18:52,661
Okay, uh, uh, uh,
I can do this.
432
00:18:52,663 --> 00:18:53,796
We have a plan.
433
00:18:53,798 --> 00:18:55,865
Somebody please
tell me the plan.
434
00:18:55,867 --> 00:18:58,100
I'll get the hospital bag.
I'll pull the van up.
435
00:18:58,102 --> 00:18:59,168
Meet you outside in 2 minutes.
436
00:18:59,170 --> 00:19:01,637
Team Baby, go!
437
00:19:03,808 --> 00:19:04,974
I love you.
438
00:19:04,976 --> 00:19:06,942
I love you, too.
439
00:19:07,864 --> 00:19:10,865
Are we hugging or having a baby?
Let's go!
440
00:19:12,774 --> 00:19:19,574
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man