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[Styx's "Blue Collar Man" plays]
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♪ Ooh ♪
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♪ Give me a job, give me security ♪
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♪ I'm not a charity case ♪
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♪ I'll take those ♪
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♪ Long nights ♪
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♪ Impossible odds ♪
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♪ Well, I'm gonna be a blue-collar ♪
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♪ Gonna be a blue-collar ♪
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♪ Gonna be a blue-collar man ♪
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- Boss man!
- Mike!
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Mike, you okay?
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I got it, I got it. I'm fine.
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That was a big fall!
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Oh, no, you're bleeding.
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You want me to get you
some ointment for that?
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Dude, you really ate gravel.
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What did you trip on?
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I mean, physically.
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Well, I didn't trip. It's...
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There's something wrong
with the step, or...
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maybe it was a rock.
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It just seemed like you forgot
how to walk for a second.
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That happens to my mom sometimes.
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She's 78.
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Do you have a concussion?!
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I got one when I dived
into that dry pool!
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Yeah, somebody should really
drive you home.
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I got room on my dirt bike.
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No, I can take him.
Then I can sew up those pants.
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No one's getting near my pants.
Just go back to work.
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But it's the end of the day!
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Then just go home.
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It's hard to see your heroes fall.
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Nope, Axl wasn't there, either.
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Sorry it took so long.
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Gamma Phi was having a Casino Night,
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and I was on fire at the craps table.
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I've always been a good dice roller.
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Okay.
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Next stop, there's a party at
the Foreign Student Center...
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a "mutual understanding mixer."
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I think they're serving shawarma.
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All right, let's do it.
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I don't know what shawarma is,
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but I'm ready to mutually understand it.
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[Chuckles]
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So, why are you so desperate
to find your brother?
49
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Mm, it's awful.
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He and my mom are estranged.
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Actually, he's not really
talking to any of the family.
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Yikes. What happened?
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He's dating this girl nobody likes,
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and my mom blurted out
that she doesn't like her,
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so he got mad and he didn't
come home for Thanksgiving.
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And now Christmas
is right around the corner,
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and I'm worried he won't
come home for that, either.
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Oh, he's got to come home for Christmas.
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I mean, Santa goes through all
that trouble to bring presents.
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[Chuckles] Uhoh, got to stop.
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Tipsy Kappa Lambda at 10:00.
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Sorry.
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Dad, are you walking funny?
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Brick, are you eating funny?
Go to school.
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[Door opens, closes]
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- [Sighs]
- Hey, Brick.
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How does this sound?
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[Raspy voice] I'm about to call in sick.
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You know, with this whole Axl thing,
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I just really need a mental-health day.
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[Coughs]
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I want to make sure it sounds real.
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Would you tell me not to come in?
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You're burying the cough.
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If you want it to land,
you got to put it at the end.
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- [Doorbell rings]
- Nice. I like the way you think.
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♪♪
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Rita! What a surprise.
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Just so you know, it wasn't me
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who called in
that noise complaint last week.
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Who doesn't love AC/DC at 2:00 a.m.?
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[Chuckles nervously] I need
you to drive me someplace.
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Oh. [Coughs] I would love to,
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but [clears throat]
I'm actually really sick.
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You didn't sound sick a second ago.
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Okay, I'm not sick,
but I have to get to work.
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No, you don't.
Just sleep with your boss.
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Then you can come and go as you please.
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I'm at work right now. So, let's go.
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Ticktock, princess.
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Come on. I don't got all day.
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- Can't one of your boys take you?
- They're all lazy.
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I thought they'd grow up
and chip in, but no.
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I'm the only one out there
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stripping copper
out of abandoned houses.
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I told them, cereal don't grow on trees.
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Look, my boss is a real jerk
if I'm late, so...
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You know, I'm still emotionally
and somewhat physically scarred
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from when you attacked me
last Halloween.
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Now, I didn't press charges,
but I could.
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You know why I didn't?
'Cause I'm a good neighbor.
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I assume you'd want to
recip-i-cate my good intentions.
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Or you can just give me
the keys to your car.
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♪♪
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Okay, here we go.
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[Chuckles]
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So, where to?
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Just drive.
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I'll tell you which way to go.
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Hey!
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Trust me.
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You want to be real careful with that.
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Oh. Uh, wwhat... what's in there?
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None of your damn business.
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Cheez-It?
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Oh. [Chuckles]
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I said one.
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Mike, you're here.
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How's your foot?
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How's your foot? Mine's great.
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Am I missing something?
What are you guys talking about?
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Mike fell so bad!
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I didn't fall.
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I just misstepped. It's not a big deal.
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Wait. It happened here?
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What is this?
A place we sit around gossiping
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or a place where we blow stuff up?
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Get out there.
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I'm the safety officer.
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If there's an accident
that happens at the quarry,
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I got to report it.
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Got to follow the rules.
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Rules, man.
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Oh, now the government
wants to control our falling.
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You fall all you want, boss man.
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'Course, you'll never be able
to top a fall like that again.
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That was pretty epic.
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It was like he was swimming in the air.
139
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It seemed to go on forever.
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I kept thinking,
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"Shouldn't he be on the ground by now?"
142
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And then he was!
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Sorry, Mike, I got no choice.
I got to report it.
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Well, maybe I'll report you
for standing around bugging me
145
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when you should be out there working.
146
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I'm gonna have to report
that attitude, too.
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Get out of here.
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♪♪
149
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[Sighs]
150
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'Kay, turn right up ahead.
151
00:05:03,399 --> 00:05:05,599
But that takes us onto the highway.
152
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No duh. That's how we get there.
153
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O-O-Okay, look, I'm sorry, but I thought
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I was just dropping you off
at the store or the doctor's
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or the courthouse or something.
156
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You're gonna miss it!
157
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[Gasps] [Tires screech]
158
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I'm not sure
what Axl's class schedule is,
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but he's a business major,
so let's try Hubbard Hall.
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- On it.
- Excuse me.
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You're also going by
the journalism building
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to drop me off, right?
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He doesn't look drunk.
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Oh, during the day,
we give rides to injured people.
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This happened when I was drunk.
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Oh.
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I accidentally one time
had a sip of hard lemonade
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and I twerked, so I understand
the dangers of alcohol.
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I think the thing you want to do is...
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[Gasps] Axl!
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Axl, stop! Wait.
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That's him! That's him! Follow him!
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Go, go, go, go, go! Floor it!
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Axl, stop!
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I just want to talk to you!
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Um, excuse me, journalism class?
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Journalism's dead!
Start a blog! [Grunts]
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Axl!
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Axl!
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Ax-l-l-l-l-l!
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What the hell's going on?
182
00:06:03,110 --> 00:06:05,043
Oh, Mike, this is Tom Hanson,
183
00:06:05,045 --> 00:06:06,945
our OSHA compliance officer.
184
00:06:06,947 --> 00:06:09,080
Hello, Mr. Heck.
Are you the injured party?
185
00:06:09,082 --> 00:06:10,515
There is no injured party.
186
00:06:10,517 --> 00:06:11,650
I'm not injured.
187
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What about your ankle?
188
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It's nothing.
189
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As I told my soonto-be-former employee,
190
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my foot just landed wrong.
191
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- It stretched in the back.
- Ah, yes.
192
00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:22,126
Yeah, we call that one
the "high heel" injury.
193
00:06:22,128 --> 00:06:24,395
Uh, no, I think
it's an old football injury.
194
00:06:24,397 --> 00:06:26,764
And just to be clear,
I was wearing work boots.
195
00:06:26,766 --> 00:06:27,765
Uh-huh.
196
00:06:27,767 --> 00:06:28,932
Attention, Team B.
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00:06:28,934 --> 00:06:31,269
Please report
to the administrative trailer.
198
00:06:31,271 --> 00:06:33,923
Look, [Stammers] this was just
a dumb thing.
199
00:06:33,925 --> 00:06:35,187
It's not a big deal.
200
00:06:35,189 --> 00:06:36,807
We just have to stop talking about it.
201
00:06:36,809 --> 00:06:37,975
With all due respect,
202
00:06:37,977 --> 00:06:39,930
you should never
stop talking about safety.
203
00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:41,646
Hello, everyone.
204
00:06:41,648 --> 00:06:43,781
Due to Mr. Heck's recent incident,
205
00:06:43,783 --> 00:06:47,017
we're gonna take time right now
to do a safe-stair drill.
206
00:06:47,019 --> 00:06:48,318
Aw, come on! [Sighs]
207
00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,467
- He can do that?
- Mr. Heck, could you come here?
208
00:06:50,469 --> 00:06:51,627
You're gonna help me demonstrate.
209
00:06:51,629 --> 00:06:53,523
[Sighs]
210
00:06:54,452 --> 00:06:56,160
The most important thing to remember...
211
00:06:56,162 --> 00:06:59,296
always use the handrails.
212
00:07:00,800 --> 00:07:01,965
Now, for your first step,
213
00:07:01,967 --> 00:07:04,902
you're gonna want to use
your dominant foot.
214
00:07:06,371 --> 00:07:10,140
And do not... I repeat,
do not ever skip a step.
215
00:07:10,142 --> 00:07:13,077
Okay, Mr. Heck, let's see you
go up those stairs.
216
00:07:13,713 --> 00:07:15,245
Whoa, whoa!
217
00:07:15,247 --> 00:07:16,680
Slow down.
218
00:07:16,682 --> 00:07:18,582
Nothing is ever so urgent
219
00:07:18,584 --> 00:07:21,351
that you can't take the time to be safe.
220
00:07:21,353 --> 00:07:24,421
Now let's see you do it
the correct way coming down.
221
00:07:24,423 --> 00:07:25,522
Good.
222
00:07:25,524 --> 00:07:26,723
Very good.
223
00:07:26,725 --> 00:07:29,058
And you used the handrail
for the descent, also.
224
00:07:29,060 --> 00:07:30,059
I like that.
225
00:07:30,061 --> 00:07:31,552
- Done here?
- Nope.
226
00:07:31,554 --> 00:07:32,562
Not till everyone takes a turn.
227
00:07:32,564 --> 00:07:33,896
Let's line it up, boys.
228
00:07:33,898 --> 00:07:36,933
♪♪
229
00:07:37,969 --> 00:07:39,736
Hey, hey, hey, hot-dogger!
230
00:07:39,738 --> 00:07:42,071
Whole foot on the step.
231
00:07:42,073 --> 00:07:44,907
♪♪
232
00:07:44,909 --> 00:07:46,175
[Grunts] Oh!
233
00:07:46,177 --> 00:07:48,378
You can't tell the Chuck
what to do, government man!
234
00:07:48,380 --> 00:07:49,512
[Laughs]
235
00:07:49,514 --> 00:07:51,814
Fight the power! Unh!
236
00:07:51,816 --> 00:07:52,882
[Grunts]
237
00:07:52,884 --> 00:07:54,718
Get off me! Help!
238
00:07:54,720 --> 00:07:56,219
Axl, you listen to me!
239
00:07:56,221 --> 00:07:58,186
This conversation is happening,
240
00:07:58,188 --> 00:08:00,723
whether it happens now
or it happens later!
241
00:08:00,725 --> 00:08:02,758
I pick later! Now leave me alone!
242
00:08:02,760 --> 00:08:04,860
I didn't want to have to do this.
243
00:08:04,862 --> 00:08:05,861
Ow! Ow! Ow!
244
00:08:05,863 --> 00:08:07,195
Not the hair! Not the hair!
245
00:08:07,197 --> 00:08:08,697
That's my ticket to YouTube stardom!
246
00:08:08,699 --> 00:08:09,698
Come on! Okay, okay.
247
00:08:09,700 --> 00:08:11,367
I'm listening. I'm listening. Ah.
248
00:08:11,369 --> 00:08:12,668
Okay, look, Axl,
249
00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:16,338
I know Mom said some stuff
about April she shouldn't have,
250
00:08:16,340 --> 00:08:18,540
but our family is not so great
251
00:08:18,542 --> 00:08:21,543
that we can just afford to be
losing members left and right.
252
00:08:21,545 --> 00:08:23,514
Thanksgiving sucked,
253
00:08:23,516 --> 00:08:26,848
so please just promise me
you'll come home for Christmas.
254
00:08:27,705 --> 00:08:29,285
I can't make that promise.
255
00:08:29,287 --> 00:08:30,846
But you have to!
256
00:08:30,848 --> 00:08:33,420
We can't have our
family traditions without you.
257
00:08:33,615 --> 00:08:36,182
When we sing Christmas carols,
you're the one
258
00:08:36,184 --> 00:08:37,805
who tries to climb
out the window and ditch us.
259
00:08:37,830 --> 00:08:39,103
When I bake gingerbread men,
260
00:08:39,105 --> 00:08:41,138
you're the one
who bites all the heads off.
261
00:08:41,445 --> 00:08:43,145
So, what, are the Christmas villagers
262
00:08:43,147 --> 00:08:45,014
just not gonna
hump each other this year?
263
00:08:45,016 --> 00:08:46,557
If you're not there,
264
00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,851
Christmas is just gonna go smoothly.
265
00:08:48,853 --> 00:08:51,286
And that may be
some other family's Christmas,
266
00:08:51,288 --> 00:08:53,228
but it sure isn't ours.
267
00:08:53,230 --> 00:08:54,757
Well, you're gonna have to
find someone else
268
00:08:54,759 --> 00:08:56,125
to put boobs on the snowman,
269
00:08:56,127 --> 00:08:58,661
'cause I can't be with people
who hate my girlfriend.
270
00:08:58,663 --> 00:09:00,496
Okay, to be fair, Axl,
271
00:09:00,498 --> 00:09:03,533
we have been
nothing but nice to her face.
272
00:09:03,535 --> 00:09:05,902
Maybe we just need to get
to know her better,
273
00:09:05,904 --> 00:09:07,102
have a do-over.
274
00:09:07,104 --> 00:09:08,670
Sue, I'm 22.
275
00:09:08,672 --> 00:09:10,705
Maybe I just don't need
the family as much as you do.
276
00:09:10,707 --> 00:09:12,641
Maybe I just need a break from you guys.
277
00:09:13,710 --> 00:09:16,608
I don't think you're allowed to do that!
278
00:09:19,016 --> 00:09:20,249
Okay.
279
00:09:20,251 --> 00:09:22,851
Well, once everyone has signed
their Safe Stair Pledge,
280
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:24,521
I'll have everything I need.
281
00:09:24,523 --> 00:09:25,639
Thank God.
282
00:09:25,641 --> 00:09:27,689
Hey, I found footage of Mike's fall
283
00:09:27,691 --> 00:09:29,229
from the security camera.
284
00:09:29,231 --> 00:09:31,226
Dave: It'll show us
exactly what happened.
285
00:09:31,228 --> 00:09:32,428
No! No, it won't.
286
00:09:32,430 --> 00:09:33,929
Hey, why don't you shove
one of those doughnuts
287
00:09:33,931 --> 00:09:36,265
into your chatty mouth, Dave?
288
00:09:36,267 --> 00:09:37,732
Tom: Hold on a second.
289
00:09:38,415 --> 00:09:40,436
You fell yesterday, right?
290
00:09:40,438 --> 00:09:41,670
Yeah.
291
00:09:41,672 --> 00:09:43,304
Well, then, this number's wrong.
292
00:09:43,306 --> 00:09:46,074
Yeah, but that wasn't really
a w-workplace injury.
293
00:09:46,076 --> 00:09:47,641
That was just my own dumb thing.
294
00:09:47,643 --> 00:09:48,776
No, no, no.
295
00:09:48,778 --> 00:09:52,051
If we make it 365 days
without an injury,
296
00:09:52,053 --> 00:09:54,315
corporate gives us a cupcake party.
297
00:09:54,317 --> 00:09:57,251
They send us cupcakes
from a fancy bakery in a box
298
00:09:57,253 --> 00:09:59,353
with a card that says, "Good job."
299
00:09:59,355 --> 00:10:00,654
Tom: Sorry, guys.
300
00:10:00,656 --> 00:10:02,156
Maybe next year.
301
00:10:02,855 --> 00:10:04,425
Dave: And we were so close.
302
00:10:04,427 --> 00:10:05,793
They take your picture
303
00:10:05,795 --> 00:10:07,595
and put it in the corporate
newsletter and everything.
304
00:10:07,597 --> 00:10:08,963
I was hoping to use that picture
305
00:10:08,965 --> 00:10:11,199
for my Farmers Only dating profile.
306
00:10:11,546 --> 00:10:13,253
Chuck: Nice going, Mike.
307
00:10:13,255 --> 00:10:15,303
Hey, there's more important
things in life
308
00:10:15,305 --> 00:10:17,004
than a cupcake party.
309
00:10:18,140 --> 00:10:20,039
And eventually, we'll think of one.
310
00:10:20,041 --> 00:10:23,009
♪♪
311
00:10:24,045 --> 00:10:25,745
Beautiful day for a drive.
312
00:10:25,747 --> 00:10:27,481
- Relaxing, ain't it?
- Uh-huh.
313
00:10:27,483 --> 00:10:29,849
You know, this seems like
it's turning into a whole thing,
314
00:10:29,851 --> 00:10:31,985
and I really should get back
for dinner and my life
315
00:10:31,987 --> 00:10:34,154
and to the people who know where I am.
316
00:10:34,156 --> 00:10:36,189
There's nothing like the open road.
317
00:10:36,191 --> 00:10:39,259
I just feel so trapped in
that fishbowl of a neighborhood,
318
00:10:39,261 --> 00:10:40,994
everybody always judging you.
319
00:10:40,996 --> 00:10:42,662
You know what neighbor
I really don't like?
320
00:10:42,664 --> 00:10:44,498
That Nancy Donahue.
321
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:45,665
Oh.
322
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:47,700
I don't know. She's nice. [Chuckles]
323
00:10:47,702 --> 00:10:49,569
What don't you like about her?
324
00:10:49,571 --> 00:10:51,204
Well, she thinks she's all that,
325
00:10:51,206 --> 00:10:53,739
that her house is all that,
that her kids are all that.
326
00:10:53,741 --> 00:10:54,740
Like them girls,
327
00:10:54,742 --> 00:10:56,416
and that boy at that fancy college,
328
00:10:56,418 --> 00:10:58,144
and that weird one who reads.
329
00:10:58,146 --> 00:10:59,595
Uh, that one's mine.
330
00:10:59,597 --> 00:11:01,280
And she thinks she's better
than everybody else
331
00:11:01,282 --> 00:11:03,315
'cause her teenagers are potty-trained.
332
00:11:03,317 --> 00:11:05,251
That's what I like about me and you.
333
00:11:05,253 --> 00:11:06,952
We don't care about our yards.
334
00:11:06,954 --> 00:11:09,455
Well, I... I care a little.
335
00:11:09,457 --> 00:11:10,856
But... But... But I hear you.
336
00:11:10,858 --> 00:11:12,791
I mean, it's like,
people who make you jam.
337
00:11:12,793 --> 00:11:14,660
They don't want you to have jam.
338
00:11:14,662 --> 00:11:15,994
They want to show you they made jam.
339
00:11:15,996 --> 00:11:17,229
I know.
340
00:11:17,231 --> 00:11:19,798
It's like, what dark hole
are you fillin' in your life
341
00:11:19,800 --> 00:11:21,974
that you need to foist jam
on your neighbors?
342
00:11:21,999 --> 00:11:23,636
[Both laugh]
343
00:11:23,638 --> 00:11:25,337
Exactly.
344
00:11:25,339 --> 00:11:27,939
Frankie: You know, maybe Rita was okay.
345
00:11:27,941 --> 00:11:30,290
Maybe we weren't so different after all.
346
00:11:30,292 --> 00:11:32,978
She might even be a little... fun.
347
00:11:32,980 --> 00:11:34,813
What was I worried about?
348
00:11:34,815 --> 00:11:35,814
[Beeping]
349
00:11:35,816 --> 00:11:37,049
Aw, damn it.
350
00:11:37,051 --> 00:11:38,616
I'm out of range.
351
00:11:38,618 --> 00:11:40,585
- [Beeping continues]
- [Scoffs]
352
00:11:43,356 --> 00:11:46,624
Um, I-I-I don't think you're
supposed to be doing that.
353
00:11:46,626 --> 00:11:48,293
Oh, please. It happens all the time.
354
00:11:48,295 --> 00:11:50,662
If I didn't take this thing off,
I'd never go anywhere.
355
00:11:50,664 --> 00:11:51,863
[Laughs]
356
00:11:51,865 --> 00:11:55,834
Good luck findin' that one, Barney Fife!
357
00:11:55,836 --> 00:11:58,003
[Chuckles]
358
00:11:58,005 --> 00:12:00,370
♪♪
359
00:12:00,372 --> 00:12:01,405
Hey, Dad.
360
00:12:01,407 --> 00:12:02,506
Mike: Hey.
361
00:12:02,508 --> 00:12:03,774
Where's Mom?
362
00:12:03,776 --> 00:12:04,775
I don't know.
363
00:12:04,777 --> 00:12:06,010
She sent a text
364
00:12:06,012 --> 00:12:08,779
about running some errand
with Rita Glossner.
365
00:12:08,781 --> 00:12:10,380
You know anything about baking cupcakes?
366
00:12:10,382 --> 00:12:11,949
I know Mom uses a box.
367
00:12:11,951 --> 00:12:13,283
Yeah, I got that.
368
00:12:13,285 --> 00:12:15,953
But where are the measuring cups
and mixing bowl?
369
00:12:15,955 --> 00:12:18,155
Measuring cups are in the junk drawer,
370
00:12:18,157 --> 00:12:20,457
and the mixing bowl is holding our mail.
371
00:12:20,459 --> 00:12:22,893
Aha!
372
00:12:23,963 --> 00:12:25,696
Oh, and I think you're supposed to have
373
00:12:25,698 --> 00:12:27,998
those little pink and green
papers that go around them.
374
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,734
What do you mean, "Go around them"?
375
00:12:29,736 --> 00:12:31,368
You know, when you finish the cupcake,
376
00:12:31,370 --> 00:12:32,369
you eat the paper?
377
00:12:32,371 --> 00:12:33,670
Eh. Do we really need those?
378
00:12:33,672 --> 00:12:34,871
I don't know.
379
00:12:34,873 --> 00:12:36,405
If they don't have the paper,
they might be muffins.
380
00:12:36,407 --> 00:12:37,406
But if you need it,
381
00:12:37,408 --> 00:12:38,842
I've got some leftover graph paper.
382
00:12:38,844 --> 00:12:40,643
Okay. Paper's paper.
383
00:12:43,070 --> 00:12:44,901
Why are you making cupcakes, anyway?
384
00:12:44,903 --> 00:12:48,084
Well, the guys at work were
supposed to have a cupcake party
385
00:12:48,086 --> 00:12:50,987
for going 365 days
without a workrelated injury,
386
00:12:50,989 --> 00:12:53,857
but then somebody fell.
387
00:12:53,859 --> 00:12:54,858
Was it funny?
388
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,893
No. It wasn't funny at all.
389
00:12:56,895 --> 00:12:58,795
Ah. It was you, wasn't it?
390
00:13:00,331 --> 00:13:02,325
Yes, fine. I fell at work.
391
00:13:02,350 --> 00:13:03,599
Congratulations. You cracked the case.
392
00:13:03,601 --> 00:13:04,768
You happy?
393
00:13:04,770 --> 00:13:06,702
That explains the cupcakes.
You hit your head.
394
00:13:06,704 --> 00:13:08,271
Now you're having a behavior change.
395
00:13:08,273 --> 00:13:09,272
Follow my finger.
396
00:13:09,274 --> 00:13:10,373
No. I'm fine.
397
00:13:10,375 --> 00:13:11,874
It's just, you know,
398
00:13:11,876 --> 00:13:14,543
not great that it happened at work.
399
00:13:14,958 --> 00:13:17,179
Oh, you're embarrassed.
400
00:13:17,512 --> 00:13:18,881
Did I say I'm embarrassed?
401
00:13:18,883 --> 00:13:20,182
I'm not embarrassed.
402
00:13:20,184 --> 00:13:23,286
All right, I'm just saying,
if you are, you shouldn't be.
403
00:13:23,288 --> 00:13:25,053
Trust me, you're in my wheelhouse now.
404
00:13:25,055 --> 00:13:26,922
The problem isn't you being embarrassed.
405
00:13:26,924 --> 00:13:29,191
The problem is you don't
embarrass yourself enough.
406
00:13:29,193 --> 00:13:30,861
I embarrass myself all the time.
407
00:13:30,863 --> 00:13:33,296
Like today,
I started eating a girl's hair.
408
00:13:33,298 --> 00:13:35,431
It was on her head and in my sandwich.
409
00:13:35,433 --> 00:13:36,565
But if you ask me
410
00:13:36,567 --> 00:13:37,966
what embarrassing thing
happened yesterday,
411
00:13:37,968 --> 00:13:39,368
I couldn't even tell you.
412
00:13:39,370 --> 00:13:40,569
I don't remember.
413
00:13:40,571 --> 00:13:42,316
It just becomes
part of the fabric of your life.
414
00:13:42,318 --> 00:13:44,071
Well, that's not gonna happen
415
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:46,174
'cause I'm not gonna
embarrass myself again.
416
00:13:46,176 --> 00:13:47,975
Now, pass me those rainbow sprinkles.
417
00:13:47,977 --> 00:13:49,877
It says if you add those to the batter,
418
00:13:49,879 --> 00:13:51,379
you get a more festive look.
419
00:13:51,381 --> 00:13:53,080
I think the guys will enjoy that.
420
00:13:54,117 --> 00:13:56,618
Dad, if you're that worried
about being embarrassed...
421
00:13:56,620 --> 00:13:59,086
You work in a quarry, right?
422
00:13:59,088 --> 00:14:00,822
Is there a cave or something
you can go down to
423
00:14:00,824 --> 00:14:01,956
and have a good cry?
424
00:14:02,467 --> 00:14:04,392
Brick, it's not that bad.
425
00:14:04,394 --> 00:14:07,295
Well, if it's not bad enough
you need to go cry in a cave,
426
00:14:07,297 --> 00:14:08,830
what are you worried about?
427
00:14:08,832 --> 00:14:12,467
♪♪
428
00:14:13,865 --> 00:14:17,271
Oh, I think you're supposed to
preheat the oven to 375.
429
00:14:17,273 --> 00:14:18,739
Got it. Did it.
430
00:14:18,741 --> 00:14:20,107
Way ahead of you.
431
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:21,976
Quilt!
432
00:14:23,179 --> 00:14:26,981
♪♪
433
00:14:29,194 --> 00:14:30,484
Rita: You stay here and watch the bag.
434
00:14:30,486 --> 00:14:31,485
I'll get snacks.
435
00:14:31,487 --> 00:14:32,920
You got a jerky preference?
436
00:14:32,922 --> 00:14:35,656
Okay, look, this is already
taking longer than I thought,
437
00:14:35,658 --> 00:14:37,624
and I really need to get back to my...
438
00:14:37,626 --> 00:14:38,861
Beef!
439
00:14:39,262 --> 00:14:40,828
[Bell jingles]
440
00:14:40,830 --> 00:14:43,697
[Police radio chatter]
441
00:14:43,699 --> 00:14:45,099
Officers?
442
00:14:45,101 --> 00:14:46,968
Excuse me, hi.
443
00:14:46,970 --> 00:14:48,135
Sorry to bother you.
444
00:14:48,137 --> 00:14:49,470
Can I ask you a quick question?
445
00:14:49,472 --> 00:14:50,504
Yes, ma'am.
446
00:14:50,506 --> 00:14:53,474
So, you probably get this a lot, but...
447
00:14:53,476 --> 00:14:54,575
"accomplice."
448
00:14:54,577 --> 00:14:56,810
What does that really mean?
449
00:14:56,812 --> 00:14:59,380
Is it like when you're
planning something with someone
450
00:14:59,382 --> 00:15:01,382
or more along for the ride, so to speak?
451
00:15:01,384 --> 00:15:02,983
- Is something the matter?
- N-No.
452
00:15:02,985 --> 00:15:04,251
No, no, no.
453
00:15:04,253 --> 00:15:06,420
It's just something I was
wondering about, you know?
454
00:15:06,422 --> 00:15:09,590
Just saw you here and thought,
"Hey, why not ask the experts?"
455
00:15:09,592 --> 00:15:10,758
Oh!
456
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:12,325
Here's another one...
aiding and abetting.
457
00:15:12,327 --> 00:15:14,160
Is that the same thing or different?
458
00:15:14,162 --> 00:15:15,729
Can you aid without abetting?
459
00:15:15,731 --> 00:15:17,831
And can someone force you
to aid and abet?
460
00:15:17,833 --> 00:15:19,600
Are you in some sort of trouble?
461
00:15:19,602 --> 00:15:21,301
Uh, no, I... I don't think so.
462
00:15:21,303 --> 00:15:23,270
Because if you'd be more comfortable
463
00:15:23,272 --> 00:15:24,505
talking at the station, we could...
464
00:15:24,507 --> 00:15:26,072
[Chuckles nervously] No, no, no, no.
465
00:15:26,074 --> 00:15:27,274
Gosh, [Chuckles] no.
466
00:15:27,276 --> 00:15:28,908
These are just some
of the things I think about.
467
00:15:28,910 --> 00:15:30,510
You know, some people scrapbook.
468
00:15:30,512 --> 00:15:33,679
I think about criminal intent
and jurisprudence, so...
469
00:15:33,681 --> 00:15:34,914
[Door opens, bells jingle]
470
00:15:34,916 --> 00:15:37,450
Oh, hey, there's my friend,
Rita Glossner,
471
00:15:37,452 --> 00:15:40,620
who lives at
418 Birchwood Avenue in Orson.
472
00:15:40,622 --> 00:15:42,221
Just in case. [Chuckles] Bye!
473
00:15:42,223 --> 00:15:45,190
♪♪
474
00:15:45,192 --> 00:15:47,359
Seriously, do you see any bald spots?
475
00:15:47,361 --> 00:15:49,261
I think she took out a chunk of my hair.
476
00:15:49,263 --> 00:15:50,296
Not cool!
477
00:15:50,298 --> 00:15:52,097
She wants everything to be like it was.
478
00:15:52,099 --> 00:15:53,733
Well, guess what... I'm not doing that.
479
00:15:53,735 --> 00:15:55,067
They insulted something I love.
480
00:15:55,069 --> 00:15:56,402
That's so mean.
481
00:15:56,404 --> 00:15:58,170
What did they insult?
482
00:15:58,172 --> 00:15:59,271
Oh, uh...
483
00:15:59,273 --> 00:16:00,472
corn dogs.
484
00:16:00,474 --> 00:16:02,040
They hate them.
485
00:16:02,042 --> 00:16:03,842
Anyway, they can't tell me
how to run my life.
486
00:16:03,844 --> 00:16:05,376
I'm an adult man now.
487
00:16:05,378 --> 00:16:07,345
[Laughs] That tickles.
488
00:16:07,347 --> 00:16:09,748
I think I get what you mean.
My family hates you.
489
00:16:09,750 --> 00:16:11,215
What?
490
00:16:11,217 --> 00:16:13,452
Yeah, they think
I could do a lot better.
491
00:16:13,454 --> 00:16:14,586
A lot? [Chuckles]
492
00:16:14,588 --> 00:16:16,588
I mean, you're great...
don't get me wrong.
493
00:16:16,590 --> 00:16:17,956
And you deserve somebody great,
494
00:16:17,958 --> 00:16:19,458
but I thought that somebody was me.
495
00:16:19,460 --> 00:16:21,493
They really liked Doug Dixon.
496
00:16:21,495 --> 00:16:22,694
He had a pontoon.
497
00:16:22,696 --> 00:16:24,228
Doug Dixo... See, this is what I mean.
498
00:16:24,230 --> 00:16:26,097
Our families think they know
what's best for us,
499
00:16:26,099 --> 00:16:27,432
but they don't know.
500
00:16:27,434 --> 00:16:29,568
We know! Even Grandma Tee-Tee?
501
00:16:29,570 --> 00:16:31,703
- Oh, especially Grandma Tee-Tee.
- [Scoffs]
502
00:16:31,885 --> 00:16:32,883
You know what?
503
00:16:32,885 --> 00:16:35,052
Who cares what anybody else thinks?
504
00:16:35,054 --> 00:16:36,787
We know our love is real.
505
00:16:36,789 --> 00:16:39,123
We don't need people telling us
how to live our lives.
506
00:16:39,125 --> 00:16:40,324
Yeah!
507
00:16:40,326 --> 00:16:42,260
The important thing
is that we have each other.
508
00:16:42,262 --> 00:16:44,762
And your family loves me.
509
00:16:44,764 --> 00:16:48,166
A-A-A-nd we have each other.
510
00:16:55,266 --> 00:16:57,308
[Yawns] Oh, boy.
511
00:16:57,310 --> 00:16:58,490
How long have I been asleep?
512
00:16:58,697 --> 00:17:00,230
About three states.
513
00:17:00,232 --> 00:17:01,231
What?
514
00:17:01,233 --> 00:17:03,633
I only closed my eyes for a second!
515
00:17:03,635 --> 00:17:05,701
Okay, that's it, Rita.
I demand an answer.
516
00:17:05,703 --> 00:17:07,036
Where are you taking me?
517
00:17:07,038 --> 00:17:08,404
Already took you.
518
00:17:08,406 --> 00:17:09,805
We're in Georgia.
519
00:17:09,807 --> 00:17:12,942
♪♪
520
00:17:15,066 --> 00:17:19,723
After 537 terrifying miles,
I finally realized
521
00:17:19,748 --> 00:17:21,981
maybe I should've just
handed Rita my car keys
522
00:17:21,983 --> 00:17:22,982
in the first place.
523
00:17:22,984 --> 00:17:24,183
We're here.
524
00:17:25,721 --> 00:17:30,357
Look, Rita, whatever it is,
don't make me go in.
525
00:17:30,359 --> 00:17:32,024
I have not seen anything
or heard anything.
526
00:17:32,026 --> 00:17:33,360
I won't tell anybody.
527
00:17:33,362 --> 00:17:35,662
I am not aiding, nor am I abetting.
528
00:17:35,664 --> 00:17:37,264
What the hell are you talkin' about?
529
00:17:37,266 --> 00:17:38,732
You get weird when you're tired.
530
00:17:38,734 --> 00:17:39,866
Let's go. Grab the bag.
531
00:17:39,868 --> 00:17:41,233
You told me not to touch the bag.
532
00:17:41,235 --> 00:17:42,601
Bring the damn bag, woman.
533
00:17:42,603 --> 00:17:44,770
If things here go smoothly,
we'll get you home.
534
00:17:44,772 --> 00:17:46,672
I've waited a long time for this moment.
535
00:17:46,674 --> 00:17:47,873
Don't spoil it.
536
00:17:47,875 --> 00:17:49,708
♪♪
537
00:17:49,710 --> 00:17:52,010
Listen, my guys work hard all year long
538
00:17:52,012 --> 00:17:55,046
and cupcakes are important
to them, and rightfully so.
539
00:17:55,048 --> 00:17:57,516
Take it from me,
they're not easy to make.
540
00:17:57,518 --> 00:17:59,251
Those little papers are important.
541
00:17:59,253 --> 00:18:01,219
You want to get those
at a cupcake store.
542
00:18:01,221 --> 00:18:03,355
Mike, we appreciate you
calling us down here
543
00:18:03,357 --> 00:18:04,690
and pleading your case,
544
00:18:04,692 --> 00:18:07,259
and your devotion to your
employees is admirable, but...
545
00:18:07,261 --> 00:18:09,060
cupcake parties have to be earned.
546
00:18:09,062 --> 00:18:10,429
Exactly.
547
00:18:10,431 --> 00:18:12,331
I mean, if we just started
handing out cupcake parties
548
00:18:12,333 --> 00:18:13,965
Willy-nilly, they'd lose their meaning.
549
00:18:13,967 --> 00:18:15,033
All right.
550
00:18:15,035 --> 00:18:17,335
I didn't want to have to do this, but...
551
00:18:17,337 --> 00:18:19,870
So Mike realized
if Brick could get through
552
00:18:19,872 --> 00:18:22,139
all those embarrassments and be fine,
553
00:18:22,141 --> 00:18:25,276
he certainly could get through one.
554
00:18:25,278 --> 00:18:28,078
♪♪
555
00:18:28,080 --> 00:18:29,013
Ohh! Ohh!
556
00:18:29,015 --> 00:18:29,980
[Both laugh]
557
00:18:29,982 --> 00:18:31,081
Yeah...
558
00:18:31,083 --> 00:18:33,851
Yeah, I know, it's funny.
559
00:18:33,853 --> 00:18:36,321
[Laughter continues]
560
00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:37,522
Okay.
561
00:18:37,524 --> 00:18:40,458
If you'll notice,
the time stamp says 5:03 p.m.
562
00:18:40,460 --> 00:18:43,528
Our work day ends at 5:00,
so, technically,
563
00:18:43,530 --> 00:18:47,432
the fall happened after we'd
already made it to 365 days.
564
00:18:47,434 --> 00:18:49,667
I'm not trying to play hardball
with you guys.
565
00:18:49,669 --> 00:18:52,870
I'm just saying, my men
deserve their cupcake party.
566
00:18:54,240 --> 00:18:56,006
Looks like you're right.
567
00:18:56,928 --> 00:18:59,453
You obviously care about your guys.
568
00:18:59,455 --> 00:19:02,112
Because if you're willing
to show that tape...
569
00:19:02,114 --> 00:19:04,081
[Laughs] I'm sorry. [Both laugh]
570
00:19:04,083 --> 00:19:05,615
Can... Can we watch it again?
571
00:19:05,617 --> 00:19:07,584
It's not that funny.
572
00:19:07,586 --> 00:19:09,086
[Both laugh]
573
00:19:09,088 --> 00:19:10,487
[Indistinct conversation]
574
00:19:12,992 --> 00:19:17,161
♪♪
575
00:19:19,198 --> 00:19:24,134
Say hey to my grandbaby,
Vernon James Glossner.
576
00:19:24,136 --> 00:19:25,568
He was born three days ago,
577
00:19:25,570 --> 00:19:27,871
and I just had to find a way
to come and see him.
578
00:19:27,873 --> 00:19:29,272
[Sighs]
579
00:19:29,274 --> 00:19:31,975
Mrs. Heck, thanks for bringing
Mom all the way down here.
580
00:19:31,977 --> 00:19:34,410
It's my pleasure. [Chuckles]
581
00:19:34,412 --> 00:19:37,347
And look at you, Rodney, all grown up.
582
00:19:37,349 --> 00:19:39,048
Yeah, I know I caused a lot
of trouble when I was a kid,
583
00:19:39,050 --> 00:19:40,383
but I got my life together now,
584
00:19:40,385 --> 00:19:43,709
with my fiancée and... and Little Vern.
585
00:19:43,711 --> 00:19:46,655
Even got a job waiting for me
at the Lumber Liquidators,
586
00:19:46,657 --> 00:19:48,858
just as soon as I get this off.
587
00:19:48,860 --> 00:19:51,831
Oh. Well, congratulations.
588
00:19:51,833 --> 00:19:54,964
Hey, Frankie, open up
that bag there, and be gentle.
589
00:19:58,503 --> 00:20:00,102
[Chuckles] Oh.
590
00:20:00,104 --> 00:20:03,338
"Baby's First Christmas" ornament.
591
00:20:03,340 --> 00:20:04,673
It's got a little boy angel on it.
592
00:20:04,675 --> 00:20:06,241
Just like I got right here.
593
00:20:06,243 --> 00:20:08,511
I ordered it special
to get it person-ized.
594
00:20:08,513 --> 00:20:11,046
They don't make any
with "Vernon" already on 'em.
595
00:20:11,814 --> 00:20:14,683
Seeing that baby in Rita's arms
made me realize
596
00:20:14,685 --> 00:20:17,052
moments go by so fast.
597
00:20:17,054 --> 00:20:20,088
It hadn't been that long
since Axl was a baby.
598
00:20:20,090 --> 00:20:23,091
That's when I knew I had to
make things right with Axl.
599
00:20:23,093 --> 00:20:26,361
There was nothing he could say
or do that would upset me now.
600
00:20:26,363 --> 00:20:27,996
Sue, I need to talk to you right now!
601
00:20:27,998 --> 00:20:30,232
I did something stupid!
I did something really stupid!
602
00:20:30,234 --> 00:20:31,500
W-W-What? What is it?
603
00:20:32,703 --> 00:20:34,903
I married April!
604
00:20:34,905 --> 00:20:38,673
♪♪
605
00:20:42,987 --> 00:20:44,253
[Chatter]
606
00:20:44,255 --> 00:20:46,222
Safety, safety! One at a time!
607
00:20:46,224 --> 00:20:47,656
I got a red velvet.
608
00:20:47,658 --> 00:20:49,058
I got a red velvet!
609
00:20:49,060 --> 00:20:53,061
And look, a note... "Good job, guys."
610
00:20:53,063 --> 00:20:55,134
Chuck: You know, we're not just
sharing cupcakes right now.
611
00:20:55,136 --> 00:20:56,392
We're sharing love.
612
00:20:56,394 --> 00:20:58,667
And this man right here's a love-maker.
613
00:20:58,669 --> 00:20:59,935
I've never been happier
614
00:20:59,937 --> 00:21:01,799
that I left my job
driving that school bus
615
00:21:01,801 --> 00:21:04,640
to spend my days here
in a hole with you people.
616
00:21:04,642 --> 00:21:06,174
Thanks, boss man.
617
00:21:06,176 --> 00:21:07,309
To Mike! To Mike! To Mike! To Mike!
618
00:21:07,311 --> 00:21:08,310
Mike!
619
00:21:08,312 --> 00:21:09,411
Wayne: Hey, I know.
620
00:21:09,413 --> 00:21:11,279
Let's all talk about
our favorite Mike moment.
621
00:21:11,281 --> 00:21:12,140
Mine is...
622
00:21:12,142 --> 00:21:13,151
All right, all right.
623
00:21:13,153 --> 00:21:14,374
Everybody back to work.
624
00:21:15,353 --> 00:21:18,354
[Chatter]
625
00:21:25,954 --> 00:21:27,954
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