Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com
♪ Whatever happened to predictability? ♪
♪ The milkman, the paperboy The evening TV ♪
♪ Everywhere you look Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a heart, a hand to hold onto ♪
♪ Everywhere you look Everywhere you go ♪
♪ There's a face Of somebody who needs you ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ When you're lost out there And you're all alone ♪
♪ A light is waiting to carry you home ♪
♪ Everywhere you look ♪
♪ La, la la la la la ♪
♪ Ooh ♪
All right.
OK, Tommy. You can do this.
You can take a step.
Good job!
Pretty soon you're gonna do this all by yourself!
You'll be walking and then running...
And then going to college.
And then I'll be a grandma.
And you're gonna put me in a nursing home.
You've got a lot of nerve!
Hey, you wanna hear a little secret?
I finally made a decision between Matt and Steve.
Do you wanna know who I picked?
I'll tell you.
I know!
I was as surprised as you are!
We're back!
Hi!
- Hi. - Hi, Jackson.
You've only been gone eight weeks
and you're already taller than I am, stop growing.
It's not the only change.
Ramona, tell everybody how you did at Dance Camp.
Mom, you know I hate to brag.
OK, then I'll brag.
Ramona won Best Dancer, Most Likely To Star On Broadway
and Happiest Feet.
You forgot Jazziest Hands.
And guess who won Oldest Dancer?
Mom came up for Visitors' Day and the visit never ended.
Hey, I was only there for the last six weeks.
Of a seven-week program.
Come on, we had so much fun. Oh.
We had the whole camp doing the Gibbler Gallop.
Yeah, come on, let's do it. Five, six, seven, eight...
Sparkle, and sparkle
and spin, and spin
and spank, spank, spank...
Oh, I knew you wanted to gallop.
Well, while you guys were out galloping,
I was at Wilderness Camp breaking some hearts.
- You wanna hear what happened? - Hold on.
My teenage son is actually about to
share something that happened in his life?
- You're right. Never mind. - No, no! No.
What happened?
Well, let's just say the babes were all over me like mosquitoes.
But I did stay true to Lola.
Poor thing must have been missing her boo like crazy.
- You're back! - I sure am!
I wanna hear every detail of your entire summer!
Yeah, we'll catch up later.
Don't make any plans this afternoon, because I am throwing my annual...
End-of-Summer-Back-to-School Super...
Fun Barbecue 2016!
OK, maybe that name was too long.
- Hey, Deej! - Stephanie!
Hi!
- Welcome home. - Stephanie!
Oh, I missed you so, so much!
I missed...
- Why aren't you hugging me back? - Because you left me at the airport.
How rude.
Was your plane late?
No, I was right on time.
I even put my bags in Kimmy's car.
I went to move the luggage cart out of the street and she drove off without me.
I thought you were pretty quiet on the ride home.
Anyhoo, how was your summer in London?
It was great.
You know, I went back to see if my ex-boyfriend was really a jerk.
He was.
But I met one of those palace guards with the big, fuzzy hats.
Turns out sometimes they do smile.
Aunt Stephanie, Kimmy!
Thank goodness you're back!
Look what I taught Cosmo.
Cosmo, roll over.
Ah.
Looks like you had a fun summer.
It was boring.
Before you guys left, there was so much going on.
Mom was a Mexican wrestler,
Hunter Pence came to our house,
there was a cow in the kitchen.
The last fun thing was that ridiculous wedding
where Kimmy decided not to marry Fernando.
Let the rejoicing begin. Fernando has returned!
Kimmy, you made the right decision.
Kimberlina, mi amor, how I missed you all summer.
Yuck!
Everybody, I have a funny story.
While I was gone on the racing circuit,
I forgot to pay my rent,
so my landlord evicted me.
So now...
I will be moving in here!
Perhaps my story was not so funny?
Perhaps you should have paid your rent?
Oh, Max.
I missed you least of all.
No need to worry. Fernando's only moving in temporarily.
You won't even know he's here.
This way, gentlemen.
Only seven more loads to go, OK?
That had better be Spanish for "I'm leaving tomorrow."
Hello, ladies.
Your meat has arrived.
Ah, now that's how every man should enter a room.
Hi.
Oh, so I brought steak, burgers, chicken, shrimp, ribs and lobster.
And Matt brought some stuff for you guys to eat.
- Steve, you're hilarious. - No, you are, you told me to say that.
Yeah, but you're delivery was hysterical!
It's so funny how those guys became best friends.
I know.
I hope it doesn't affect their friendship when I tell them which one I wanna date.
You're finally choosing somebody? Oh, it's about time!
Yeah, well, I spent the whole summer just getting to know myself
and working on me and... and now I am finally ready
to have a meaningful relationship with someone other than me.
You gotta pick Steve. You guys are each other's destiny.
No. No, no, no.
You have to pick Matt.
You guys are great partners at the Pet Clinic
and, far more importantly, Matt is insanely hot.
I know, I'm extremely lucky. I have two incredible guys that want me so bad!
But I've made my decision.
And?
I am choosing...
DJ?
We've got something to tell you.
Oh. And I have something to tell you guys.
OK, you go.
- No, you go. - OK, I'll go first.
- Somebody go first. - OK, I... We will go first.
Steve and I...
have found someone special.
Each other?
You know, I always had a feeling.
No, although if I were so inclined, this big daddy would be a home run.
Boop!
So, DJ, remember when you chose yourself
and you said we should just go live our lives and not wait around for you?
I... really said that?
Uh, yeah, and then you sent us that group text
with the bitmoji of yourself giving the thumbs up saying to go for it.
Oh, I did do that.
So anyway, after a two-week camping trip alone in the woods...
we decided that we need women.
So... we fixed each other up.
And now we both have girlfriends.
And it's all because you told us to "Go for it", so thank you.
You're welcome!
Wow!
Hah! I'm... I'm so happy for you guys.
Wow.
Did I already say that? 'Cause, well, yay!
Well, DJ, what's your big news?
Oh, yeah.
My big news. Well...
Oh, the End-of-Summer-Back-to-School Super Fun Barbecue 2016...
starts at 3 o'clock.
So the time is the same.
Right.
Because sometimes I change it.
But not today, so that's big news.
Hey, would it be weird if we brought our girlfriends?
It would be weird if you didn't bring them!
Oh, I can't want to meet them.
Oh, they cannot wait to meet you.
All right, well, we will see you at 3:00, because the time did not change.
- They're gonna love your girlfriend. - She's gonna love your girlfriend.
Wow.
Did not see that coming. Whoo!
Man, I mean, talk about ripping your heart out
and stomping on it right in front of you.
If I were you, I would be on the floor sobbing like a blubbering baby.
OK, I think she gets this is not ideal.
I am totally fine with this.
I mean, I am really happy for Matt and Steve and for their girlfriends.
And I'm happy for me.
I am happy, happy, happy, OK?
Did you buy that?
Nope.
That poor thing is a Lifetime movie waiting to happen.
♪ I can feel it in my toes Drop to the beat like no one knows ♪
♪ They don't know me like that ♪
♪ Well, they don't know me like that ♪
♪ Shimmy shakin' everywhere... ♪
Can we help you?
Yeah, I just stopped by to say hey to my bae.
Hey, bae.
Help me here.
Jackson, Lola doesn't wanna hurt your feelings,
but she's not your bae.
Not my bae?
What about our full-on makeout session after Kimmy's almost wedding?
You remember?
That wasn't a makeout session.
That's how I kiss my grandma.
You must really like your grandma.
The point is we're just friends.
I'm back in the friend zone?
I spent all last year clawing my way out.
Well, I guess you missed out on Action Jackson.
Oh, who am I kidding? I'll wait for you forever.
Action out.
Man, I just said something really stupid.
Yeah, I heard you say, "Action out."
Hey, Mom, were you ever a teenage girl?
Uh, yeah, for seven years.
What did guys do to impress you way back in the olden days?
Well, you know, they churned some buttermilk...
raised a barn...
Look, if this is about impressing Lola, just be yourself. You're a great guy.
You're my mom. That means nothing.
OK. How's this?
Women love confidence.
Oh, I used to love when Steve would make a big confident entrance.
He used to walk right in and take what he wanted.
From the refrigerator.
Big confident entrance.
I like that.
Yeah. Hey, any girl would be lucky to have a handsome young man like you.
Thanks, Mom. But once again, that means nothing.
Kimberlina, mi amor.
Finally, my endless summer of endless loneliness has ended.
Hold that thought.
I promised DJ and Stephanie I would talk to you
about moving in without even asking.
What are you doing?
I'm wiggling.
You know what that does to me.
Now what are you doing?
I'm nibbling.
You're wiggling and nibbling?
It's called wibbling.
Well, your wibbling has me wobbling.
Fernando, I'm serious.
They don't want you moving in.
In time, DJ and Stephanie will grow to love me
because I am an acquired taste.
Like bleu cheese dressing.
Or public television.
Don't make me beg
like a PBS pledge drive.
This is so unfair.
I have homework and school doesn't start till Monday.
Well, at least you got a summer break.
I had to work all day every day,
sometimes on the weekends.
Mom.
We're talking about me.
Right.
But, you know, Max, this is a pretty cool project.
It's called, "One Kid Can Make a Difference."
You're supposed to pick a problem facing the world from this list
and help solve it.
So I have to get rid of global warming, unsafe drinking water,
plastic pollution, government corruption...
Third Grade just got real.
♪ I've tried way overthinkin' it ♪
♪ Oversimplifyin' it ♪
♪ Oh, oh, love is still a mystery ♪
Yo-ho! I was just looking for Kimmy, but please keep singing.
That was rad-adj.
Rad-adj?
As in rad-adjacent.
Ah. Well, it's just a new tune I'm playing around with. Kimmy's inside.
"Kimmy's Inside" is a terrible name for a song.
But please, finish. You sound amazing.
Sure,
hunky guy in a really tight T-shirt.
♪ Gonna take love slow And look at where I've been ♪
♪ Take love slow ♪
♪ Stop all this rushin' in ♪
♪ It's so easy makin' promises ♪
♪ But this time it's different ♪
♪ Gonna take love slow ♪
♪ Give love time to grow ♪
♪ Gonna take love slow ♪
What's happening?
We're about to kiss.
That's crazy.
I mean, especially since I'm singing a song called "Gotta Take Love Slow."
I feel like your lips are like magnets and I'm like a refrigerator.
Wow.
I know!
Jimmy?
- Yo-ho! Kimmy! - Hey!
Five, six, seven, eight, and sparkle, and sparkle,
and spin, and spin,
and spank, spank, spank, spank.
Yes!
Wait, wait, wait...
Why is he galloping like a Gibbler?
Because all Gibblers gallop.
This is my little brother, Jimmy.
I just kissed a Gibbler?
You just kissed a Tanner?
Ew!
Why didn't you tell me you were Kimmy's brother?
Well, I just figured you remembered me. I mean, who kisses a total stranger?
Stephanie.
I just, I haven't seen you since you were a scrawny little kid.
- I mean, you look completely different. - Yeah.
I got a haircut.
Jimmy, what are you doing back in town?
Well, I was driving the RV to Portland and then I thought, "Why?"
You know?
And then I thought, "Man, I'm hungry."
And then I thought, "I'm gonna stop at the Tanners' and get some free food."
That's the Gibbler way.
- One more time! - Five, six, seven, eight...
And sparkle, and sparkle, and spin, and spin...
- Come on Stephanie, get in here! - Spank, spank,...
Oh, she's leaving.
- Well, how's Uncle Andy been? - He's still allergic to shrimp.
That surprises me. That's so shellfish of him.
Mini Bro, this is gonna blow your mind.
Global warming will make the seas rise and wipe out San Francisco.
Our food is full of poison.
There's an island of plastic trash the size of Texas floating in the ocean.
The world is falling apart!
And not to make you feel bad, but your disposable diapers aren't helping.
Hey, you guys forgot to wear your barbecue T-shirts.
Sure, let's go with "Forgot."
Hello, beautiful ladies.
Oh, Kimmy, did you tell Fernando that we don't want him living here?
Hola, I am right here.
Yes, that's the problem.
Fernando is very useful.
He can reach things on the top shelf.
We have a ladder.
I can fend off intruders.
You're the intruder.
- I'll get it. - No.
Someone who actually lives here will get it.
Hi, DJ, Kimmy. I want you guys to meet my new girlfriend, Crystal.
Oh, gosh, it's so nice meeting you.
I've heard so many good things about you from Matt.
Oh, and I've heard nothing about you.
Like how young and fit you are.
Me?
Look at you!
But I could help your posture.
If I could just organize your pubic bone.
Oh, no, no. We just met. We just...
Oh, actually, that does feel better.
Do me! Do me!
Hey, DJ. Meet my girlfriend, CJ.
Her name is CJ?
What are the odds of that?
My real name is Connie Jane, but everyone calls me Ceej.
Small world, huh, Deej?
Do you mind if I give you a hug?
I come from a family of huggers.
OK, this is getting weird.
You know what else is weird? You guys are both doctors.
Only you work on, you know, hamsters and stuff and she works on real people, but...
Steve, stop boasting.
Holy Rolaids.
Oh, Mylanta.
Son of a Tums, you both swear with antacids.
You know, maybe I have a type.
You think?
Well, hey, as long as we're getting to know each other,
Crystal teaches something called Cirque du Pilates.
Show them.
- Are you sure? I mean... - Yeah, do your tricks.
OK, it is really roomy in here.
Oops...
This is fun.
She has a lot of energy.
Well, I'd better get in there. There's a lobster with my name on it.
Literally, I wrote "Steve H" on its tail, so everybody just back off.
Oh. Hey, thank you for having me.
I feel like we're gonna be great friends.
Sorry, I just... I love to hug, Deej.
You know, I hate to say it, but I really like their girlfriends.
They're so nice.
Well, they may be nice, but you're nicer.
And they may be pretty, but you're prettier.
And they may be young, but you're...
The truth is, I just wish I had a boyfriend.
At least for the next couple of hours.
Well, I might be able to help with that.
What? No, Kimmy, wait. What are you thinking?
- Just follow. - Kimmy...
Hey, Jimmy. I want you to pretend to be DJ's boyfriend.
Whoa.
That is not a good idea.
You're right. It's a great idea.
Look at those happy couples over there.
So then I said, "In that case, I'll take it to go!"
Don't you deserve to pretend to be as happy as those people actually are?
OK, fine.
I'll pretend that Jimmy is my boyfriend.
But I really like Steph.
I mean, what if you fall for me real hard?
I think we're safe.
Come with me.
Come on.
Attention, everybody.
DJ would like to introduce you to her new boyfriend.
DJ has a new boyfriend?
Yeah, so I guess this is my new man, Jimmy Gibbler.
Let's give them a nice Bay Area welcome.
Thank you, San Francisco.
You're really dating a Gibbler?
Hey, anyone would be lucky to have a Gibbler.
They are the sexiest creatures to ever strut the Earth.
It's true.
Watch me walk past any construction site.
Pandemonium.
DJ and I love to scuba.
Yes, we love to scuba.
With the rubber suits and the... Riding dolphins in the ocean.
Right, big guy?
You... You know it, big momma.
Hey, look who's up from his nap?
Stephanie, this is not what it looks like.
Uh, well, it looks like a barbecue.
DJ, I'm sorry. It's been a beautiful two minutes.
But I just... I feel like we're drifting apart, you know?
I have to break up with you.
Yes, people, it's true. I'm crazy about Stephanie.
I've had a huge crush on you, ever since we were little kids.
I mean, one of my all time favorite memories
is you were playing guitar and then I came into the back yard,
and then we kissed.
Uh, that was like half an hour ago.
And I think about that moment all the time.
And if that's your baby, I'll raise him as my own.
Actually, that's my baby.
Oh, calm down, guys. We already knew that.
You poor thing.
Your sister stole your man.
So what? Does she look humiliated?
Well, a little.
But if I know DJ,
she's on her way to the wharf right now to pick up three new boyfriends.
I'm standing right here.
That's right.
Make them come to you.
OK, I'm just gonna take a break and think about my poor life decisions.
Good times!
That's pretty uncool, man.
Way uncool, man.
I know.
I wish I could go back in time and change things,
but that's not the way time works, as I understand it.
Hey, guys. What did I miss?
Your uncle hooked up with your mom's best friend,
then left her for her sister,
although, to be fair, DJ never told him she had a baby.
Hey, Lola! Here comes Action Jackson!
Oh, oh, no.
Don't worry, Lola. I'm OK.
Lola left ten minutes ago.
Yeah. It's probably for the best.
Hey, Max. Why aren't you at the barbecue?
What's the point of a barbecue?
What's the point of anything?
What's wrong, buddy?
Everything.
How can one little kid make a difference
when our problems are so big?
We're doomed.
The whole world is poisoned, polluted and way too hot.
Because we ruined it.
Well, you ruined it.
I'm only eight.
Yeah, we did mess it up pretty good.
But we could still make it better.
You know, just because we made mistakes, it doesn't mean we can't fix them.
Unless, let's say, you spent the whole summer obsessed with yourself,
and let two great guys get away.
I'm never gonna find anyone as good as Matt or Steve.
I'm gonna be single for the rest of my life.
I might as well start adopting cats and stop washing my hair.
Worst pep talk ever.
Mom. Tommy's walking.
All by himself.
Tommy!
You did it! Yes!
Oh!
Hey!
Hey.
We wanted you to see this.
Did you see that, Max?
No matter how many times Tommy fell, he never gave up.
That right there is the human spirit.
So we can't give up either.
We have to keep searching for ways to stop climate change and,
and achieve world peace
and plot my revenge against Matt and Steve,
and end poverty.
And have universal healthcare and fair elections.
And have a relationship with Lola.
And finally focus on my music career.
And become a really awesome dancer.
And figure things out with Fernando.
And find a nice throw rug that pulls my new room together.
You don't officially live here.
You know you love me.
Everybody, group hug.
And you're wet.
♪ One, two, three, four ♪
Synced & corrected by kinglouisxx www.addic7ed.com