1
00:00:01,321 --> 00:00:03,433
Max, guess who's getting a divorce.
2
00:00:03,434 --> 00:00:06,270
Please tell me it's us.
3
00:00:06,271 --> 00:00:09,406
Nope, we'll be together
way past when we should be.
4
00:00:09,407 --> 00:00:11,974
Like The Rolling Stones.
5
00:00:13,210 --> 00:00:15,512
It's Jason and Winona Williams.
6
00:00:15,513 --> 00:00:18,415
Wow, I really thought those
two were gonna make it.
7
00:00:18,416 --> 00:00:22,553
We're talking about those two
sisters who play tennis, right?
8
00:00:22,554 --> 00:00:24,154
Never heard of them, but there are a lot
9
00:00:24,178 --> 00:00:25,956
of famous people I've never heard of.
10
00:00:25,957 --> 00:00:28,358
Like that guy who's on TV
sometimes and he's always like,
11
00:00:28,359 --> 00:00:31,028
"Blah, blah, I'm on TV."
12
00:00:31,029 --> 00:00:33,263
Yeah, that's Bill Maher.
13
00:00:33,264 --> 00:00:36,066
Anyway, they're rich,
globe-trotting socialites,
14
00:00:36,067 --> 00:00:38,135
and they want to throw a
party at our dessert bar
15
00:00:38,136 --> 00:00:39,970
to celebrate the collapse
of their marriage.
16
00:00:39,971 --> 00:00:42,205
They celebrate divorce now?
17
00:00:42,206 --> 00:00:45,309
My mom missed out on, like, 12 parties.
18
00:00:45,310 --> 00:00:48,211
They're coming tomorrow to
see the place, so maybe don't
19
00:00:48,212 --> 00:00:50,513
wear your "Team Satan" T-shirt.
20
00:00:51,815 --> 00:00:54,284
Why, 'cause there's a stain on it?
21
00:00:54,285 --> 00:00:57,454
No, this could be a $5,000 job, Max.
22
00:00:57,455 --> 00:01:00,090
I was offered a $5,000 job once.
23
00:01:00,091 --> 00:01:03,060
I said, "No way."
24
00:01:03,061 --> 00:01:06,229
Come to think of it,
that was Bill Maher.
25
00:01:10,001 --> 00:01:15,371
Subtitle sync and corrections by
awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
26
00:01:20,102 --> 00:01:21,103
Hey, look,
27
00:01:21,104 --> 00:01:24,205
it's Saddington Bear.
28
00:01:25,942 --> 00:01:27,910
Oof, unlike torrential rain,
29
00:01:27,911 --> 00:01:31,280
this jacket does not repel insults.
30
00:01:31,281 --> 00:01:33,182
I have to go check the drains.
31
00:01:33,183 --> 00:01:35,075
Oh, if you find my love life down there,
32
00:01:35,076 --> 00:01:37,186
bring it back to me.
33
00:01:37,187 --> 00:01:40,275
Han, the hurricane ain't coming, man.
34
00:01:40,276 --> 00:01:43,879
My body always knows when
a disaster is on its way.
35
00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:46,114
It predicted the '97 El Niño
36
00:01:46,115 --> 00:01:49,218
and my third wife, Diane.
37
00:01:49,219 --> 00:01:51,386
That's true, and when
he gets chest pains,
38
00:01:51,387 --> 00:01:52,688
it means it'll be partly cloudy.
39
00:01:52,689 --> 00:01:56,091
No, that's a heart attack.
40
00:01:56,092 --> 00:01:59,228
Shortness of breath means partly cloudy.
41
00:01:59,229 --> 00:02:02,130
Pardon me if I don't
just blindly trust Earl.
42
00:02:02,131 --> 00:02:03,632
He voted for Richard Nixon,
43
00:02:03,633 --> 00:02:06,134
this year.
44
00:02:06,135 --> 00:02:08,870
Man, he's gonna get us out of Vietnam.
45
00:02:08,871 --> 00:02:11,573
Well, I'm not taking any chances.
46
00:02:11,574 --> 00:02:13,308
This may come as a shock to you,
47
00:02:13,309 --> 00:02:15,744
but this diner is all I have!
48
00:02:15,745 --> 00:02:17,579
Not true.
49
00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:19,847
You also have tiny arms and legs.
50
00:02:22,484 --> 00:02:25,921
Oh, look, a Minion.
51
00:02:25,922 --> 00:02:27,888
Hey, everybody!
52
00:02:29,825 --> 00:02:34,162
Look, it's me, my Barbara, and my Manny.
53
00:02:34,163 --> 00:02:35,831
Yeah, Oleg and I
54
00:02:35,832 --> 00:02:38,300
hired him to help with Baby Babs.
55
00:02:38,301 --> 00:02:40,135
You know, in Poland,
56
00:02:40,136 --> 00:02:43,071
a Manny has to have his penis removed.
57
00:02:43,072 --> 00:02:44,072
Yeah.
58
00:02:44,073 --> 00:02:47,276
But here, he gets to keep it!
59
00:02:47,277 --> 00:02:49,945
I'm Max, this is my first
time meeting a Manny.
60
00:02:49,946 --> 00:02:52,147
I mean, a lot of men watched
me when I was a teenager,
61
00:02:52,148 --> 00:02:55,083
but they paid me.
62
00:02:55,084 --> 00:02:56,752
Shane!
63
00:02:56,753 --> 00:02:59,154
I'm not just paying you to stand around.
64
00:02:59,155 --> 00:03:01,822
Well, at least burp one of us.
65
00:03:04,626 --> 00:03:06,094
Isn't that the sweetest?
66
00:03:06,095 --> 00:03:07,963
My wife, my baby,
67
00:03:07,964 --> 00:03:11,133
and the man with a lady's job.
68
00:03:11,134 --> 00:03:14,169
You're not nervous
your Manny is, you know,
69
00:03:14,170 --> 00:03:16,271
extremely good-looking,
70
00:03:16,272 --> 00:03:17,773
and you're, well...
71
00:03:17,774 --> 00:03:20,042
Hung?
72
00:03:20,043 --> 00:03:21,543
He's not good-looking.
73
00:03:21,544 --> 00:03:24,411
His eyebrows don't
even meet in the middle.
74
00:03:25,947 --> 00:03:28,116
Sophie didn't want to
hire a woman because
75
00:03:28,117 --> 00:03:29,685
I walk around naked a lot,
76
00:03:29,686 --> 00:03:31,486
and I'm, well...
77
00:03:31,487 --> 00:03:33,889
The grossest?
78
00:03:33,890 --> 00:03:36,692
A stink machine?
79
00:03:36,693 --> 00:03:38,660
Girls, my wife is here.
80
00:03:38,661 --> 00:03:40,828
Stop flirting with me.
81
00:03:42,297 --> 00:03:43,999
Max, are you gonna go out with Shane?
82
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,468
Because he's staring at you.
83
00:03:46,469 --> 00:03:50,205
Unless he's trying really
hard to read that sign.
84
00:03:50,206 --> 00:03:52,474
Uh, I'm already in a relationship
85
00:03:52,475 --> 00:03:54,309
with Randy, remember him?
86
00:03:54,310 --> 00:03:57,179
'Bout yay tall, yay wide, yay long.
87
00:03:57,180 --> 00:03:59,848
I know how "yay long."
It's your screensaver.
88
00:03:59,849 --> 00:04:02,484
But, uh, didn't you guys break up?
89
00:04:05,988 --> 00:04:09,691
You are so naive, mi amigo.
90
00:04:09,692 --> 00:04:13,028
This is all part of
me and Randy's dance.
91
00:04:13,029 --> 00:04:14,262
I say we should break up,
92
00:04:14,263 --> 00:04:15,931
and he says it's definitely over,
93
00:04:15,932 --> 00:04:19,868
so we're still very much together.
94
00:04:19,869 --> 00:04:21,536
I know I've been out of the game awhile,
95
00:04:21,537 --> 00:04:22,838
but that makes less sense
96
00:04:22,839 --> 00:04:25,674
than dress Crocs.
97
00:04:25,675 --> 00:04:27,458
I didn't ask your opinion
when I bought them,
98
00:04:27,459 --> 00:04:29,544
and I'm not asking for it now.
99
00:04:29,545 --> 00:04:30,888
And this is the part of the dance
100
00:04:30,889 --> 00:04:32,748
where he shows up and surprises me.
101
00:04:32,749 --> 00:04:34,716
Damn it, I should have worn my Crocs.
102
00:04:35,852 --> 00:04:37,386
Awful news!
103
00:04:37,387 --> 00:04:39,855
I was unable to fix the drains!
104
00:04:39,856 --> 00:04:41,223
Turns out,
105
00:04:41,224 --> 00:04:44,292
we don't have any!
106
00:04:44,293 --> 00:04:45,761
We need to protect ourselves.
107
00:04:45,762 --> 00:04:47,763
I'll be outside, filling sandbags.
108
00:04:47,764 --> 00:04:50,197
Anyone who wants to help, follow me.
109
00:04:52,868 --> 00:04:55,771
No one's behind me, are they?
110
00:04:55,772 --> 00:04:59,273
Nope, just the shadow of
a child holding a lantern.
111
00:05:00,909 --> 00:05:02,144
Oh, you know what, Shane?
112
00:05:02,145 --> 00:05:04,446
I'm bored.
113
00:05:04,447 --> 00:05:06,481
Now, come on, let's go
back to the apartment.
114
00:05:06,482 --> 00:05:09,384
And you can walk on my
back while Barbara naps.
115
00:05:09,385 --> 00:05:12,554
You know, like mannies do.
116
00:05:12,555 --> 00:05:14,089
Bye.
117
00:05:14,090 --> 00:05:16,224
Let's go!
118
00:05:19,996 --> 00:05:22,063
Where are Jason and Winona?
119
00:05:22,064 --> 00:05:23,767
They need to get here
before the storm does
120
00:05:23,768 --> 00:05:25,467
and my hair frizzes.
121
00:05:25,468 --> 00:05:28,236
Well, Randy better get
here before the storm too.
122
00:05:28,237 --> 00:05:29,940
Ooh, this could be him!
123
00:05:29,941 --> 00:05:31,273
Damn it.
124
00:05:31,274 --> 00:05:34,342
The one time I don't
want a text from Chili's.
125
00:05:34,343 --> 00:05:35,943
Although they're practically giving away
126
00:05:35,967 --> 00:05:38,854
these sizzling fajitas.
127
00:05:39,982 --> 00:05:41,349
Jason and Winona! You made it.
128
00:05:41,350 --> 00:05:43,118
I was worried something
horrible happened,
129
00:05:43,119 --> 00:05:44,419
like you got caught in the storm
130
00:05:44,420 --> 00:05:46,955
or you got back together!
131
00:05:50,026 --> 00:05:51,860
I think it has to be below zero
132
00:05:51,861 --> 00:05:53,695
for hell to freeze over.
133
00:05:53,696 --> 00:05:56,331
And we should know.
We've been to the Arctic.
134
00:05:56,332 --> 00:05:58,700
He murdered a penguin.
135
00:05:58,701 --> 00:06:01,770
It was an accident!
136
00:06:01,771 --> 00:06:03,839
If it was the penguin from Happy Feet,
137
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:06,174
you'll pay for that with
your life, my friend.
138
00:06:06,175 --> 00:06:07,642
That's Max.
139
00:06:07,643 --> 00:06:09,511
She thinks cartoon characters are real.
140
00:06:09,512 --> 00:06:10,846
I'm Caroline Channing.
141
00:06:10,847 --> 00:06:12,347
And she thinks Matthew McConaughey
142
00:06:12,348 --> 00:06:15,050
actually loves driving a Lincoln.
143
00:06:15,051 --> 00:06:17,152
Why would he endorse that?
He doesn't need the money.
144
00:06:17,153 --> 00:06:18,954
End of story.
145
00:06:18,955 --> 00:06:21,656
Ugh. This place is so cute.
146
00:06:21,657 --> 00:06:22,891
Almost as cute
147
00:06:22,892 --> 00:06:24,993
as the mud hut in
Borneo where I realized
148
00:06:24,994 --> 00:06:26,995
I didn't love you.
149
00:06:26,996 --> 00:06:29,698
That was five years ago.
150
00:06:29,699 --> 00:06:31,867
Okay, maybe save that for the toast?
151
00:06:31,868 --> 00:06:34,035
Here's some of the themed
drinks we're working on.
152
00:06:34,036 --> 00:06:37,472
Almost Single Malt Scotch.
153
00:06:37,473 --> 00:06:39,841
Resent-Mint Chocolate
Chip Cookie Shooters.
154
00:06:39,842 --> 00:06:41,343
Still debating the
155
00:06:41,344 --> 00:06:44,513
"Tequila" Him Would
Have Been Easier shots.
156
00:06:46,649 --> 00:06:48,517
Oh, hate to break this meeting up,
157
00:06:48,518 --> 00:06:50,318
but I think my boyfriend's here.
158
00:06:53,355 --> 00:06:56,658
Yeah, he doesn't like to
bother me when I'm working.
159
00:06:56,659 --> 00:06:59,394
Well, maybe I should get going
before the weather gets too bad.
160
00:06:59,395 --> 00:07:02,330
I have a date I should
have gone on five years ago.
161
00:07:02,331 --> 00:07:05,065
Oh, I bet it's not even raining.
162
00:07:11,706 --> 00:07:14,876
See? Just a little sprinkle.
163
00:07:14,877 --> 00:07:18,380
You wear a bra?
164
00:07:18,381 --> 00:07:21,783
The hurricane is headed
right for Williamsburg.
165
00:07:21,784 --> 00:07:23,885
Fedoras are blowing down the streets.
166
00:07:23,886 --> 00:07:26,021
Craft beers are spilling everywhere.
167
00:07:26,022 --> 00:07:29,558
And indie bands are cancelling practice.
168
00:07:29,559 --> 00:07:31,259
Sorry, girls, I guess Shakira was wrong.
169
00:07:31,260 --> 00:07:33,194
My hips do lie.
170
00:07:33,195 --> 00:07:35,564
This explains why Randy isn't here yet.
171
00:07:35,565 --> 00:07:37,699
He's probably stuck in the storm.
172
00:07:37,700 --> 00:07:39,434
Max, you're being delusional.
173
00:07:39,435 --> 00:07:42,604
And I know that because I'm delusional.
174
00:07:42,605 --> 00:07:44,539
Han, I have to get home.
175
00:07:44,540 --> 00:07:45,974
Sophie's alone with the Manny
176
00:07:45,975 --> 00:07:48,543
and she gets turned on by bad weather.
177
00:07:48,544 --> 00:07:49,978
It's true.
178
00:07:49,979 --> 00:07:52,047
Last time it snowed, we
made out a little bit.
179
00:07:52,048 --> 00:07:55,250
Her favorite porno is The Perfect Storm,
180
00:07:55,251 --> 00:07:59,554
even with Diane Lane's
horrible Boston accent.
181
00:07:59,555 --> 00:08:01,222
Oleg, no, it's too dangerous.
182
00:08:01,223 --> 00:08:03,357
Yeah, it is. Han, go with him.
183
00:08:16,471 --> 00:08:19,975
Even the wind pushes Oleg away.
184
00:08:26,916 --> 00:08:29,017
That's my worst experience being blown
185
00:08:29,018 --> 00:08:30,819
since I got caught in the hand dryer
186
00:08:30,820 --> 00:08:32,454
in the ladies' washroom.
187
00:08:34,490 --> 00:08:37,158
Oh, no. Everyone into the walk-in.
188
00:08:37,159 --> 00:08:38,293
Ugh.
189
00:08:38,294 --> 00:08:39,594
Well, I guess we're stuck here.
190
00:08:39,595 --> 00:08:41,363
Another hostage situation.
191
00:08:41,364 --> 00:08:42,631
Just like our honeymoon.
192
00:08:42,632 --> 00:08:43,775
Oh, you loved Tehran.
193
00:08:45,601 --> 00:08:48,436
So do you guys want
to see a sample menu?
194
00:08:48,437 --> 00:08:50,338
Max, light a match so they can see.
195
00:08:50,339 --> 00:08:52,607
Give me a sec. I'm looting the register.
196
00:08:52,608 --> 00:08:53,808
Sorry, it's a reflex.
197
00:08:58,828 --> 00:09:01,763
Should we eat all the
food before it expires?
198
00:09:01,764 --> 00:09:04,199
Two years ago.
199
00:09:04,200 --> 00:09:07,035
This is the safest
place in the building.
200
00:09:07,036 --> 00:09:09,538
This used to be my gift-wrapping suite.
201
00:09:09,539 --> 00:09:11,773
I mean, man cave.
202
00:09:11,774 --> 00:09:15,110
Am I sitting on a sack of potatoes?
203
00:09:15,111 --> 00:09:18,079
Nope. Just my prostate.
204
00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:20,676
So sorry for the inconvenience.
205
00:09:20,677 --> 00:09:22,611
Can I offer you some pinto beans?
206
00:09:22,612 --> 00:09:23,779
A tub of slaw?
207
00:09:23,780 --> 00:09:26,348
Mouse skeleton?
208
00:09:26,349 --> 00:09:28,817
Well, it does remind me of
that time in the rainforest
209
00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,485
when we stole that tribe's food
210
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,306
and they hung us up from our genitals.
211
00:09:32,307 --> 00:09:33,989
Oh, yeah.
212
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,691
Oh, you looked so cute that day.
213
00:09:35,692 --> 00:09:38,794
All upside down and screaming.
214
00:09:38,795 --> 00:09:39,895
Stop.
215
00:09:39,896 --> 00:09:42,297
"Upside down and screaming"?
216
00:09:42,298 --> 00:09:43,665
Oh, that's it.
217
00:09:43,666 --> 00:09:45,334
I'm FaceTiming Sophie to make sure
218
00:09:45,335 --> 00:09:47,803
her storm door is sealed shut.
219
00:09:49,539 --> 00:09:51,306
Sophie.
220
00:09:51,307 --> 00:09:54,543
For once I'm grateful you
have all your clothes on.
221
00:09:54,544 --> 00:09:55,877
Although...
222
00:09:55,878 --> 00:09:57,846
stay focused, Oleg.
223
00:09:57,847 --> 00:09:59,748
Hey, Oleg.
224
00:09:59,749 --> 00:10:03,652
Yeah, we're fine, I was just
reading Barbara her horoscope.
225
00:10:03,653 --> 00:10:07,389
Now she's about to find out
who her true friends are.
226
00:10:07,390 --> 00:10:10,826
Yeah, oh, and tell the girls
that we brought Chestnut in.
227
00:10:10,827 --> 00:10:12,326
"We"?
228
00:10:16,598 --> 00:10:19,368
What happened to his shirt?
229
00:10:19,369 --> 00:10:20,535
Chestnut's?
230
00:10:20,536 --> 00:10:23,005
Well, I took it off. He was warm.
231
00:10:23,006 --> 00:10:24,940
No, Sophie, the Manny.
232
00:10:24,941 --> 00:10:27,175
His nipples are staring at me.
233
00:10:27,176 --> 00:10:28,777
Well, what do you think happened to it?
234
00:10:28,778 --> 00:10:32,014
He spilled his wine...
hey, Oleg, I gotta hang up.
235
00:10:32,015 --> 00:10:35,684
We gotta close the windows.
It's a perfect storm out there.
236
00:10:35,685 --> 00:10:37,619
Yeah, I think I am gonna get up there
237
00:10:37,620 --> 00:10:40,522
on that horse bareback with you.
238
00:10:42,191 --> 00:10:43,692
"Perfect storm"?
239
00:10:43,693 --> 00:10:45,794
Oh, no, this is terrible.
240
00:10:45,795 --> 00:10:48,030
There's wine. There's a storm.
241
00:10:48,031 --> 00:10:49,364
There's a horse in the mix.
242
00:10:49,365 --> 00:10:51,867
The sexual possibilities are dizzying!
243
00:10:51,868 --> 00:10:52,901
Wine?
244
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,668
Ooh, that reminds me.
245
00:10:56,138 --> 00:10:57,873
Oh, sorry. We're out of wine.
246
00:10:57,874 --> 00:10:59,441
Who wants a Capri Sun and vodka?
247
00:10:59,442 --> 00:11:01,076
Scratch that.
248
00:11:01,077 --> 00:11:03,712
Who doesn't want a Capri Sun and vodka?
249
00:11:03,713 --> 00:11:06,615
What am I gonna do?
250
00:11:06,616 --> 00:11:10,552
I have travel Scattergories
in my emergency backpack.
251
00:11:10,553 --> 00:11:13,288
Perhaps we roll an F for fun?
252
00:11:13,289 --> 00:11:16,224
Perhaps we roll you outside for fun?
253
00:11:16,225 --> 00:11:20,929
Oof, so much for the community
coming together during a crisis.
254
00:11:20,930 --> 00:11:22,998
Oh, what's the bathroom
policy around here?
255
00:11:22,999 --> 00:11:24,733
Just go anywhere?
256
00:11:27,070 --> 00:11:29,738
Oh, no, no, this is not good.
257
00:11:29,739 --> 00:11:32,973
My diner is more screwed
than Sophie right now.
258
00:11:35,344 --> 00:11:36,812
Too soon?
259
00:11:37,914 --> 00:11:40,082
Hold me!
260
00:11:40,083 --> 00:11:41,750
Just so you know,
261
00:11:41,751 --> 00:11:45,187
that is a flashlight in my pocket.
262
00:11:51,796 --> 00:11:55,565
Are we gonna talk about what happened?
263
00:11:55,566 --> 00:11:57,233
Max, please tell me they make
264
00:11:57,234 --> 00:12:00,236
really, really small flashlights
265
00:12:00,237 --> 00:12:02,470
that move on their own.
266
00:12:04,073 --> 00:12:05,975
Do you want me to lie to you
267
00:12:05,976 --> 00:12:09,844
or do you want me to tell
you that was Han's penis?
268
00:12:11,347 --> 00:12:13,049
Wow.
269
00:12:13,050 --> 00:12:17,186
Caroline and Han are really
getting at it over there.
270
00:12:17,187 --> 00:12:19,188
This storm is turning people on
271
00:12:19,189 --> 00:12:22,058
more than alcohol and low self-esteem.
272
00:12:22,059 --> 00:12:24,660
Even Han got some action.
273
00:12:24,661 --> 00:12:27,330
I don't hold hands and tell.
274
00:12:27,331 --> 00:12:31,701
Or maybe I do. This is kind of a first.
275
00:12:31,702 --> 00:12:33,002
I could tell.
276
00:12:33,003 --> 00:12:35,872
Your thumb was all over the place.
277
00:12:35,873 --> 00:12:37,906
I hope that was your thumb.
278
00:12:39,675 --> 00:12:40,743
That's it.
279
00:12:40,744 --> 00:12:42,578
I can't risk Sophie being alone
280
00:12:42,579 --> 00:12:45,014
with the Elephant Manny any longer.
281
00:12:45,015 --> 00:12:48,184
Even a 2 like him looks
like a 5 in this bad weather,
282
00:12:48,185 --> 00:12:50,920
and Sophie has a thing for 5s.
283
00:12:50,921 --> 00:12:52,522
If I die, Max,
284
00:12:52,523 --> 00:12:55,725
you know what strippers
I want at my funeral.
285
00:12:55,726 --> 00:12:59,195
Yep, same ones I want at mine.
286
00:12:59,196 --> 00:13:01,430
I want Bagpipes at my funeral.
287
00:13:01,431 --> 00:13:05,301
She'll be expecting your call.
288
00:13:05,302 --> 00:13:08,070
The sexual tension is rising.
289
00:13:08,071 --> 00:13:12,907
This is turning into a
real "will we or won't we?"
290
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:16,145
We won't.
291
00:13:16,146 --> 00:13:18,114
We can't!
292
00:13:19,883 --> 00:13:21,484
You know what I've always wanted to do?
293
00:13:21,485 --> 00:13:23,386
Have a "getting back together" party?
294
00:13:23,387 --> 00:13:26,222
Same price, less Adele on the playlist.
295
00:13:26,223 --> 00:13:27,490
No.
296
00:13:27,491 --> 00:13:29,826
You know. We should...
297
00:13:29,827 --> 00:13:31,561
Drive through Syria!
298
00:13:32,930 --> 00:13:34,664
Syria?
299
00:13:34,665 --> 00:13:37,333
Is that a new Middle
Eastern fast-food place?
300
00:13:38,502 --> 00:13:41,636
Baba ghano-thank-you.
301
00:13:43,639 --> 00:13:45,408
Syria sounds beautiful.
302
00:13:45,409 --> 00:13:47,443
Let us throw your going-away party.
303
00:13:47,444 --> 00:13:49,345
And birthdays coming up? Graduations?
304
00:13:49,346 --> 00:13:52,682
Quinceañeras? Just 'cause?
305
00:13:52,683 --> 00:13:54,417
Why almost die in Syria
306
00:13:54,418 --> 00:13:56,485
when we could be out there right now
307
00:13:56,486 --> 00:13:58,321
almost dying in a hurricane?
308
00:13:58,322 --> 00:14:03,426
Oh, there's the woman my
family forced me to marry.
309
00:14:03,427 --> 00:14:05,428
Every second we're in
here is second we're not
310
00:14:05,429 --> 00:14:07,930
risking getting electrocuted
by downed power lines.
311
00:14:07,931 --> 00:14:08,965
We'll see you guys later.
312
00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,934
Wha... we do funerals.
313
00:14:11,935 --> 00:14:13,169
Wakes, shivas, too.
314
00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:16,105
Tell your captors.
315
00:14:16,106 --> 00:14:17,640
Unbelievable.
316
00:14:17,641 --> 00:14:19,041
I'm so bad at relationships,
317
00:14:19,042 --> 00:14:21,677
I can't even make a divorce work.
318
00:14:21,678 --> 00:14:23,145
I'll give you some pointers.
319
00:14:23,146 --> 00:14:28,951
First rule, have sex with
her big-mouthed sister.
320
00:14:28,952 --> 00:14:31,487
I'm gonna see if Randy
posted anything on Snapchat
321
00:14:31,488 --> 00:14:33,155
about his travels.
322
00:14:33,156 --> 00:14:35,625
I know what you're
thinking, and you're wrong.
323
00:14:35,626 --> 00:14:38,728
He is not in LA, enjoying the sunshine.
324
00:14:38,729 --> 00:14:41,364
Hey, I'm here in sunny LA,
325
00:14:41,365 --> 00:14:43,399
just about to take my dog for a walk.
326
00:14:43,400 --> 00:14:45,835
You know, people are saying
we're starting to look alike.
327
00:14:45,836 --> 00:14:47,268
Thoughts?
328
00:14:50,873 --> 00:14:53,576
Because to tell you the
truth, I don't really see it.
329
00:14:53,577 --> 00:14:54,844
Although I have been
330
00:14:54,845 --> 00:14:58,480
peeing on fire hydrants more than usual.
331
00:15:00,850 --> 00:15:02,385
You know what?
332
00:15:02,386 --> 00:15:03,886
I am calling him.
333
00:15:03,887 --> 00:15:05,221
He wants me to.
334
00:15:05,222 --> 00:15:07,590
You saw the look on his snout.
335
00:15:07,591 --> 00:15:09,692
You're acting more mixed-up than me.
336
00:15:09,693 --> 00:15:14,363
And yesterday I ordered a
cheeseburger from an ATM.
337
00:15:14,364 --> 00:15:18,668
And I gotta say, it wasn't bad.
338
00:15:18,669 --> 00:15:21,203
He's not answering, and it's
going straight to voicemail.
339
00:15:21,204 --> 00:15:22,872
Maybe Snapchat got it wrong
340
00:15:22,873 --> 00:15:23,873
and he's on a plane.
341
00:15:23,874 --> 00:15:27,043
He probably blocked you.
342
00:15:27,044 --> 00:15:28,910
Right, baby?
343
00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:33,382
Give me your phone.
344
00:15:33,383 --> 00:15:35,117
Hello?
345
00:15:35,118 --> 00:15:38,187
It went through and he answered.
346
00:15:38,188 --> 00:15:40,790
'Cause it wasn't my
phone. He did block me.
347
00:15:40,791 --> 00:15:42,792
Max, I'm sorry.
348
00:15:42,793 --> 00:15:45,227
We're really broken up.
349
00:15:45,228 --> 00:15:47,563
Don't feel too bad.
350
00:15:47,564 --> 00:15:51,099
From what I saw, he
had kind of a dog face.
351
00:15:52,268 --> 00:15:53,269
Ooh-ooh.
352
00:15:53,270 --> 00:15:54,637
My hips think that
353
00:15:54,638 --> 00:15:56,205
the storm is over, y'all.
354
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:59,542
Why don't you go check
for flooding, old man?
355
00:15:59,543 --> 00:16:03,045
Just like you did for Noah.
356
00:16:03,046 --> 00:16:06,649
Sorry, that's the cockiness
of my new relationship talking.
357
00:16:06,650 --> 00:16:08,317
We should all go.
358
00:16:08,318 --> 00:16:11,120
None of us have anything left
to live for anymore anyway.
359
00:16:11,121 --> 00:16:13,389
Uh, excuse me, I have plenty...
360
00:16:13,390 --> 00:16:15,224
okay, you're right, let's go.
361
00:16:24,156 --> 00:16:26,324
Yes! Yes, it's okay.
362
00:16:26,325 --> 00:16:27,658
Wow.
363
00:16:27,659 --> 00:16:29,980
I guess the hurricane
looked us up on Yelp
364
00:16:29,981 --> 00:16:32,682
and stayed the hell away.
365
00:16:32,683 --> 00:16:34,417
It survived the storm!
366
00:16:34,418 --> 00:16:36,152
My diner's alive.
367
00:16:36,153 --> 00:16:39,989
Yeah, parts of it have
chased me around the kitchen.
368
00:16:39,990 --> 00:16:43,159
I love how you're funny.
369
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:46,329
The storm is gone. My body got it right.
370
00:16:46,330 --> 00:16:49,197
Now, if it could only
pump blood on its own.
371
00:16:51,067 --> 00:16:52,068
Great.
372
00:16:52,069 --> 00:16:53,336
Oleg survived too.
373
00:16:53,337 --> 00:16:56,606
This hurricane sucked.
374
00:16:56,607 --> 00:16:57,907
I made it home,
375
00:16:57,908 --> 00:17:00,343
but Sophie and the Manny were gone.
376
00:17:00,344 --> 00:17:02,812
And I could tell by the
look in Chestnut's eyes
377
00:17:02,813 --> 00:17:05,681
and the wine on his mane
that they're not coming back.
378
00:17:09,185 --> 00:17:11,887
Oh... Oleg, you're here!
379
00:17:16,126 --> 00:17:17,327
Sophie,
380
00:17:17,328 --> 00:17:18,895
you're here.
381
00:17:18,896 --> 00:17:21,498
Oh, I was so worried. What happened?
382
00:17:21,499 --> 00:17:23,466
To my churro?
383
00:17:23,467 --> 00:17:26,002
Well, yeah, it got wet.
384
00:17:26,003 --> 00:17:27,637
Oh, Oleg,
385
00:17:27,638 --> 00:17:30,640
I didn't want to be in
the hurricane without you.
386
00:17:30,641 --> 00:17:33,176
And I didn't want anyone to be in you
387
00:17:33,177 --> 00:17:34,210
without me.
388
00:17:34,211 --> 00:17:35,712
Oh.
389
00:17:35,713 --> 00:17:38,515
Don't be silly. We're family now.
390
00:17:38,516 --> 00:17:41,584
Plus, the storm got me all horned up.
391
00:17:41,585 --> 00:17:43,419
Confession:
392
00:17:43,420 --> 00:17:46,122
I'm not just wet from the storm.
393
00:17:46,123 --> 00:17:47,757
Oh, my God,
394
00:17:47,758 --> 00:17:51,159
does this guy always
know what to say or what?
395
00:17:53,163 --> 00:17:55,231
Oh, Oleg, let's go home.
396
00:17:55,232 --> 00:17:57,367
I love happy endings.
397
00:17:57,368 --> 00:18:00,737
Oh, well, if Barbara's sleeping,
398
00:18:00,738 --> 00:18:02,904
I might be able to give
you one on the way home.
399
00:18:06,843 --> 00:18:08,678
Caroline,
400
00:18:08,679 --> 00:18:11,147
we need to talk about
what happened in there.
401
00:18:11,148 --> 00:18:13,082
Okay, but do I have to be here?
402
00:18:13,083 --> 00:18:16,786
Look, I've been thinking that sometimes
403
00:18:16,787 --> 00:18:19,622
crazy weather makes you do crazy things.
404
00:18:19,623 --> 00:18:21,491
Yeah, I just listened
to Sophie and Oleg talk
405
00:18:21,492 --> 00:18:23,660
for like an hour.
406
00:18:23,661 --> 00:18:26,796
I... I guess what I'm trying to say is
407
00:18:26,797 --> 00:18:28,231
we're Dones-ville.
408
00:18:28,232 --> 00:18:29,265
Han.
409
00:18:29,266 --> 00:18:30,465
Shh.
410
00:18:34,037 --> 00:18:35,038
No, no.
411
00:18:35,039 --> 00:18:36,339
Don't beg.
412
00:18:36,340 --> 00:18:38,474
This is hard enough as it is.
413
00:18:38,475 --> 00:18:39,776
But...
414
00:18:39,777 --> 00:18:41,643
keep that chin up.
415
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,148
You'll find someone.
416
00:18:45,149 --> 00:18:47,483
I recommend the Internet.
417
00:18:47,484 --> 00:18:48,785
Thanks, Han.
418
00:18:48,786 --> 00:18:50,585
It was fun while it never started.
419
00:18:53,456 --> 00:18:56,426
Max, I hate seeing you like this.
420
00:18:56,427 --> 00:18:57,794
You know what?
421
00:18:57,795 --> 00:18:59,596
Maybe Randy only blocked you because...
422
00:18:59,597 --> 00:19:01,598
Because he didn't want to
ruin the surprise of him
423
00:19:01,599 --> 00:19:02,831
coming here to see me?
424
00:19:04,834 --> 00:19:06,836
All right. Yep. Sure.
425
00:19:06,837 --> 00:19:08,838
I'm gonna check his Snapchat again.
426
00:19:08,839 --> 00:19:11,007
Not now, Max. Let's
go hug our dessert bar.
427
00:19:11,008 --> 00:19:13,977
It was probably so scared.
428
00:19:13,978 --> 00:19:16,412
Hey! I'm running 'cause I'm late.
429
00:19:16,413 --> 00:19:19,082
Gotta get to New York...
430
00:19:19,083 --> 00:19:20,650
Great, his story cut off.
431
00:19:20,651 --> 00:19:21,818
But you were right!
432
00:19:21,819 --> 00:19:23,219
I was?
433
00:19:23,220 --> 00:19:24,821
Ooh, it unfroze.
434
00:19:24,822 --> 00:19:27,689
Philharmonic at the Hollywood Bowl.
435
00:19:31,427 --> 00:19:32,962
Well, that's it.
436
00:19:32,963 --> 00:19:34,497
He's not coming to New York.
437
00:19:34,498 --> 00:19:36,165
I have to face reality.
438
00:19:36,166 --> 00:19:39,634
He's bowling in LA with his buddy Phil.
439
00:19:44,742 --> 00:19:46,109
Oh, my God!
440
00:19:46,110 --> 00:19:47,577
Cray, right?
441
00:19:47,578 --> 00:19:50,813
I didn't even know Randy liked bowling.
442
00:19:50,814 --> 00:19:52,447
No, Max, look!
443
00:19:54,350 --> 00:19:58,021
Is that tree new or has
it always been there?
444
00:19:58,022 --> 00:20:01,024
I know the condom stuck to it hasn't.
445
00:20:01,025 --> 00:20:05,128
The diner is fine, but
our beautiful dessert bar
446
00:20:05,129 --> 00:20:07,563
gets hit by the hurricane?
447
00:20:07,564 --> 00:20:08,765
But...
448
00:20:08,766 --> 00:20:11,334
your hair looks good right now.
449
00:20:11,335 --> 00:20:12,968
Just "good"?
450
00:20:14,504 --> 00:20:16,005
I'm calling Han.
451
00:20:16,006 --> 00:20:19,008
I weirdly feel like I need him now.
452
00:20:19,009 --> 00:20:22,412
It's going straight to voicemail.
453
00:20:22,413 --> 00:20:24,814
Han! I was just trying to call you.
454
00:20:24,815 --> 00:20:27,082
Yeah, I blocked you.
455
00:20:28,718 --> 00:20:30,485
I just can't go there right now.
456
00:20:33,823 --> 00:20:35,291
Caroline, don't cry.
457
00:20:35,292 --> 00:20:37,527
We have insurance. Right?
458
00:20:37,528 --> 00:20:39,562
I don't listen to 100% of what you say.
459
00:20:39,563 --> 00:20:42,231
We'll be fine.
460
00:20:42,232 --> 00:20:45,101
I just think blocking a person is mean.
461
00:20:50,543 --> 00:20:58,043
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