1 00:00:06,302 --> 00:00:07,135 You did what? 2 00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:09,171 I married April! 3 00:00:09,172 --> 00:00:11,238 I'm sorry? You carried April? 4 00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:12,506 No. I married her. 5 00:00:12,508 --> 00:00:15,076 My brain cannot even process the fact that you just said 6 00:00:15,078 --> 00:00:17,945 "married," so I'm assuming you said "carried," 7 00:00:17,947 --> 00:00:19,380 like over a big puddle. 8 00:00:19,382 --> 00:00:20,614 Yeah, I did carry her... 9 00:00:20,616 --> 00:00:21,649 Oh. 10 00:00:21,651 --> 00:00:23,417 ...into the 'Bago after I married her. 11 00:00:23,419 --> 00:00:25,519 Why?! Why? Why? Why? Why? 12 00:00:25,521 --> 00:00:27,021 Why? Why? Why?! 13 00:00:27,023 --> 00:00:28,389 To piss off Mom! 14 00:00:28,391 --> 00:00:31,525 W-W-Wait! You got married just to make Mom mad? 15 00:00:31,527 --> 00:00:32,368 Yeah. 16 00:00:32,393 --> 00:00:34,261 Well, what did she say when you told her? 17 00:00:34,263 --> 00:00:36,364 I didn't tell her yet, 'cause she's gonna be mad. 18 00:00:36,366 --> 00:00:37,431 Yeah. 19 00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:39,400 Getting married to make Mom mad makes sense. 20 00:00:39,402 --> 00:00:41,102 Look, it just happened, okay? 21 00:00:41,104 --> 00:00:42,670 April and I were in the Winnebago, 22 00:00:42,672 --> 00:00:44,171 talking about how her parents don't like me 23 00:00:44,173 --> 00:00:45,806 and my parents don't like her, and I don't know. 24 00:00:45,808 --> 00:00:46,687 We just started feeling like, 25 00:00:46,689 --> 00:00:49,010 "Hey, we don't need anybody. We got each other." 26 00:00:49,012 --> 00:00:50,878 So, the more we talked about it, the more upset we got, 27 00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,080 and next thing I know, we're at the courthouse 28 00:00:53,082 --> 00:00:54,849 in this really long line. 29 00:00:54,851 --> 00:00:56,484 And it was around then I started to have second thoughts, 30 00:00:56,486 --> 00:00:58,452 but if we got out of line, we'd lose our place, 31 00:00:58,454 --> 00:01:00,755 and everyone else in line was so happy for us, 32 00:01:00,757 --> 00:01:04,291 'cause we're really young and hot, and they're all so old. 33 00:01:04,293 --> 00:01:06,660 That's because you're too young to get married! 34 00:01:06,662 --> 00:01:09,230 You were supposed to date for 2 1/2 years, graduate, 35 00:01:09,232 --> 00:01:11,665 get a job, and then get married in a small church, 36 00:01:11,667 --> 00:01:13,934 surrounded by God and your friends and family 37 00:01:13,936 --> 00:01:15,469 and even the cousins you don't know very well, 38 00:01:15,471 --> 00:01:17,405 and I am a bridesmaid! 39 00:01:17,407 --> 00:01:19,840 Now, I'll just have to be a bridesmaid for Cindy 40 00:01:19,842 --> 00:01:22,410 and wear a formal dress and a safari hat! 41 00:01:22,412 --> 00:01:24,245 It's not about you guys. 42 00:01:24,247 --> 00:01:26,547 It's about me and April, and I love her. 43 00:01:26,549 --> 00:01:28,916 Enough to be married to her forever, like 44 00:01:28,918 --> 00:01:31,318 "till death do you part" love her? 45 00:01:34,489 --> 00:01:37,391 - I don't know. - You don't know? 46 00:01:37,393 --> 00:01:38,592 You don't know?! 47 00:01:38,594 --> 00:01:41,629 I don't know, Sue. Stop nagging me. I got a wife. 48 00:01:41,631 --> 00:01:43,597 Oh, my God! I've got a wife. 49 00:01:43,599 --> 00:01:44,765 Okay. All right. 50 00:01:44,767 --> 00:01:47,268 Let's just take it down for a second. 51 00:01:47,270 --> 00:01:49,670 Okay. Where is April? 52 00:01:49,672 --> 00:01:52,773 Uh, well, after we got married, 53 00:01:52,775 --> 00:01:54,341 we hit a taco truck, 54 00:01:54,343 --> 00:01:56,410 and then I drove her back to Orson and dropped her off, 55 00:01:56,412 --> 00:01:57,645 'cause she had to work, 56 00:01:57,647 --> 00:01:59,480 but I don't know where she is right now. 57 00:02:00,348 --> 00:02:03,384 Oh, my God. I have a wife and I have no idea where she is! 58 00:02:03,386 --> 00:02:05,953 Shouldn't I know where my wife is at all times? 59 00:02:05,955 --> 00:02:08,055 Seriously, Axl, how is this gonna work? 60 00:02:08,057 --> 00:02:09,323 Where are you guys gonna live? 61 00:02:09,325 --> 00:02:10,491 Are you moving in with her? 62 00:02:10,493 --> 00:02:11,759 Is she moving in to the 'Bago? 63 00:02:11,761 --> 00:02:13,060 You guys getting your own place? 64 00:02:13,062 --> 00:02:14,261 Is she gonna take your name? 65 00:02:14,263 --> 00:02:15,996 Are you gonna make her be a Heck? 66 00:02:17,199 --> 00:02:18,666 Oh. 67 00:02:20,936 --> 00:02:23,337 You have to talk to Mom and Dad. 68 00:02:23,339 --> 00:02:25,473 I can't, Sue. I just can't. 69 00:02:25,475 --> 00:02:27,741 Well, you have to. They will understand. 70 00:02:27,743 --> 00:02:29,343 They love you. 71 00:02:29,345 --> 00:02:32,513 A-And, obviously, you're very confused 72 00:02:32,515 --> 00:02:34,448 and conflicted, because you're hugging me, 73 00:02:34,450 --> 00:02:36,688 and you're not making any barfing sounds. 74 00:02:38,753 --> 00:02:40,221 Talk to them, Axl. 75 00:02:40,223 --> 00:02:41,989 Ohh. 76 00:02:42,958 --> 00:02:46,127 Oh, hi. Hi. Hi. 77 00:02:46,129 --> 00:02:47,394 Is your mom home? 78 00:02:47,396 --> 00:02:49,797 Um, she didn't say anything about calling in work 79 00:02:49,799 --> 00:02:51,899 and faking a cold, so I would go with no. 80 00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:53,200 How about your sister? 81 00:02:53,202 --> 00:02:54,329 - Anyone else home? - No. 82 00:02:54,331 --> 00:02:55,405 Watch me, Mommy! 83 00:02:55,430 --> 00:02:56,170 - No, watch me! - Over here, watch me! 84 00:02:56,172 --> 00:02:57,538 No, no. I'm not watching you right now. 85 00:02:57,540 --> 00:02:58,682 I'm talking to this boy. 86 00:02:58,684 --> 00:03:00,975 Hi. How old are you? 87 00:03:00,977 --> 00:03:02,009 15. 88 00:03:02,011 --> 00:03:03,110 You'll do. 89 00:03:03,112 --> 00:03:04,645 I have to take the baby to the doctor. 90 00:03:04,647 --> 00:03:06,614 Would you mind watching the kids while I'm away? 91 00:03:06,616 --> 00:03:08,182 If I bring them to the pediatrician's office, 92 00:03:08,184 --> 00:03:09,517 they will tear it to shreds. 93 00:03:09,519 --> 00:03:11,919 I mean, we replaced the fish, but they're still mad. 94 00:03:11,921 --> 00:03:14,188 But why would they keep cup toys next to a fish tank? 95 00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:16,357 - Look, Mom, watch me! - Watch me! 96 00:03:16,359 --> 00:03:18,025 Yeah, I'm watching you! 97 00:03:18,027 --> 00:03:20,094 Uh, I don't think I'm your guy. 98 00:03:20,096 --> 00:03:22,196 - I'm not even allowed to have a hamster. - Oh, it's fine. 99 00:03:22,198 --> 00:03:24,398 I don't even know where my dog is. 100 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,635 It's fine. It's okay. It's great. It's fine. 101 00:03:27,637 --> 00:03:29,803 I-I've never babysat before in my life! 102 00:03:29,805 --> 00:03:30,971 It's good. Watch me! 103 00:03:30,973 --> 00:03:33,841 No. The... The boy is gonna watch you now. 104 00:03:33,843 --> 00:03:35,509 Hey, boy. Hey, boy, look at me! 105 00:03:35,511 --> 00:03:37,077 You might want to watch them. 106 00:03:37,079 --> 00:03:38,612 I'm right here, boy! 107 00:03:38,614 --> 00:03:39,947 Come on! 108 00:03:46,621 --> 00:03:47,688 Hey, buddy, Merry Christmas. 109 00:03:47,690 --> 00:03:48,656 Merry Christmas. 110 00:03:48,658 --> 00:03:50,391 Ah, I got something for you. 111 00:03:50,393 --> 00:03:52,493 Oh. Is this from Paula for Frankie? 112 00:03:52,495 --> 00:03:53,961 No. It's for you. 113 00:03:53,963 --> 00:03:55,396 From who? 114 00:03:55,398 --> 00:03:56,583 Me. 115 00:03:57,233 --> 00:03:58,599 - Why? - I was at the mall, 116 00:03:58,601 --> 00:04:00,501 and I saw this and thought of you. 117 00:04:02,037 --> 00:04:03,370 Why are you thinking of me? 118 00:04:03,372 --> 00:04:05,472 Come on. Open it. 119 00:04:07,842 --> 00:04:09,674 Sunglasses! 120 00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:11,912 Uh-huh. 121 00:04:11,914 --> 00:04:13,347 You know, I've never seen you with sunglasses on, 122 00:04:13,349 --> 00:04:15,210 and you're always kind of squinting, so... 123 00:04:15,551 --> 00:04:17,001 thought you could use them. 124 00:04:18,254 --> 00:04:21,188 Oh. These are nice. 125 00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:22,797 - Yeah. - Thanks. 126 00:04:23,426 --> 00:04:24,521 Put 'em on. 127 00:04:25,027 --> 00:04:26,460 Nah. It's not that bright out. 128 00:04:26,462 --> 00:04:28,362 You're kind of squinting a little bit right now. 129 00:04:28,364 --> 00:04:30,130 Come on. Put them on. 130 00:04:30,132 --> 00:04:31,732 I want to see how they look on you. 131 00:04:33,101 --> 00:04:34,435 Nah. I'm fine. 132 00:04:34,437 --> 00:04:35,836 Oh. 133 00:04:35,838 --> 00:04:37,504 All right, then. 134 00:04:37,506 --> 00:04:40,574 Yeah. I'll, uh, I'll see you around. 135 00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,989 All right. Sergeant MacKenzie won the battle, 136 00:04:54,991 --> 00:04:57,157 but the volcano erupted, and now, 137 00:04:57,159 --> 00:04:58,425 there's hot lava everywhere. 138 00:04:58,427 --> 00:04:59,727 Quick! To safety! 139 00:04:59,729 --> 00:05:01,128 Aah! - Aah! - Aah! 140 00:05:05,233 --> 00:05:08,702 Aw, Mom's back, and she wants us to come home. 141 00:05:08,704 --> 00:05:09,903 - No! - Grr! 142 00:05:09,905 --> 00:05:12,806 Tell Mom the lava's hot and we can't leave. 143 00:05:12,808 --> 00:05:14,875 Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah! 144 00:05:14,877 --> 00:05:16,877 Oh, you don't want to keep your mom waiting. 145 00:05:16,879 --> 00:05:18,679 You probably should go. 146 00:05:18,681 --> 00:05:20,933 Okay. Come on, guys. 147 00:05:21,717 --> 00:05:23,784 I had a lot of fun, Brick. 148 00:05:23,786 --> 00:05:26,587 You must be the most popular kid in school. 149 00:05:27,989 --> 00:05:30,224 Well, I am in school. 150 00:05:33,461 --> 00:05:35,529 I love you, Brick. 151 00:05:42,237 --> 00:05:45,239 So Brick was feeling pretty good about himself. 152 00:05:45,241 --> 00:05:48,008 Unfortunately, I hadn't seen Axl in three weeks, 153 00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:51,345 so I was feeling pretty sorry for myself. 154 00:05:54,650 --> 00:05:56,150 Oh, good. You're here. 155 00:05:56,152 --> 00:05:57,518 I need help decorating the tree. 156 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,686 I've been so depressed, 157 00:05:58,688 --> 00:06:00,721 I'm eating the popcorn off the garland. 158 00:06:00,723 --> 00:06:03,290 Uh, there's someone on the porch who wants to see you. 159 00:06:03,292 --> 00:06:04,892 I told that tuba-player kid, 160 00:06:04,894 --> 00:06:06,627 I am not buying his cheese and sausage. 161 00:06:06,629 --> 00:06:09,330 He's gonna have to find another way to get to the Rose Parade. 162 00:06:18,006 --> 00:06:19,239 Oh, my God! 163 00:06:19,241 --> 00:06:21,008 You're home! 164 00:06:22,178 --> 00:06:25,079 This is the best Christmas present ever! 165 00:06:25,081 --> 00:06:27,614 Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! 166 00:06:27,616 --> 00:06:29,149 Oh! 167 00:06:29,151 --> 00:06:31,719 Mom, I need to tell you something, so, listen. 168 00:06:31,721 --> 00:06:33,287 No! I don't want to hear it. 169 00:06:33,289 --> 00:06:35,356 You said things. I said things. 170 00:06:35,358 --> 00:06:37,124 Let's just put it behind us. 171 00:06:37,126 --> 00:06:39,693 You're home, and that is all I care about. Mwah! 172 00:06:39,695 --> 00:06:41,695 Yeah, well, the reason I'm home is... 173 00:06:41,697 --> 00:06:43,230 The reasons don't matter. 174 00:06:43,232 --> 00:06:45,499 One might. From here on out, fresh start. 175 00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:46,900 Let's just move forward. 176 00:06:46,902 --> 00:06:48,402 Nothing could ruin this moment. 177 00:06:48,404 --> 00:06:49,703 Oh, it's Christmas, 178 00:06:49,705 --> 00:06:51,505 and Christmas is all about families, 179 00:06:51,507 --> 00:06:54,608 and our family is together again. 180 00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:55,809 You're my favorite. 181 00:06:55,811 --> 00:06:59,012 Oh, Mike! Mike! Our son is back. 182 00:06:59,014 --> 00:07:00,714 Our son is home. 183 00:07:00,716 --> 00:07:01,815 Whoa! 184 00:07:02,751 --> 00:07:04,184 That's okay. I'm all right. 185 00:07:07,605 --> 00:07:11,073 Okay, Mom, which piece of the Christmas village 186 00:07:11,122 --> 00:07:12,347 do you want to set up next? 187 00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:14,114 Let's do the church, and then we'll build out from there. 188 00:07:14,116 --> 00:07:15,515 Oh, that's genius! 189 00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,952 Oh, thanks for helping me, Axl. 190 00:07:17,954 --> 00:07:19,620 Yeah. You know, I thought you just wanted to do this 191 00:07:19,622 --> 00:07:20,855 'cause you wanted to put the townspeople 192 00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,289 in compromising positions. 193 00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:24,525 Oh, Mom, you know I've grown out of that. 194 00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,827 But, if I hadn't, I'd go with the baker and the librarian. 195 00:07:26,829 --> 00:07:28,829 She is long overdue. 196 00:07:28,831 --> 00:07:32,633 That's terrible. Hey, what are these? 197 00:07:32,635 --> 00:07:33,868 - They're mine. - What? 198 00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:36,237 I've never seen you wear sunglasses before. 199 00:07:36,239 --> 00:07:38,773 Yeah. Bill got them for me... for Christmas. 200 00:07:38,775 --> 00:07:40,708 Said he was at the mall thinking about me. 201 00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,510 Oh, that's nice. 202 00:07:42,512 --> 00:07:43,577 Is it, though? 203 00:07:43,579 --> 00:07:45,880 It's turning into this whole thing. 204 00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,481 Now I got to get something for Bill, right? 205 00:07:47,483 --> 00:07:48,516 That's the way it works? 206 00:07:48,518 --> 00:07:49,850 That's not necessarily true. 207 00:07:49,852 --> 00:07:50,951 He may have gotten you something 208 00:07:50,953 --> 00:07:52,319 just 'cause he's a kind person. 209 00:07:52,321 --> 00:07:53,687 No. You weren't there. 210 00:07:53,689 --> 00:07:55,156 Got really awkward at the door. 211 00:07:55,158 --> 00:07:56,724 He was just standing there. 212 00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:57,925 Didn't you invite him in? 213 00:07:57,927 --> 00:07:59,927 No. I was thrown. 214 00:07:59,929 --> 00:08:01,762 Well, these are really cool. 215 00:08:01,764 --> 00:08:02,730 Have you tried them on? 216 00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,632 No. I'm not playing his game. 217 00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:05,733 And I'll tell you something else... 218 00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,835 I'm not getting him anything. I'm out. 219 00:08:09,972 --> 00:08:11,672 Don't ever get married. 220 00:08:11,674 --> 00:08:12,807 Ha! 221 00:08:16,345 --> 00:08:17,745 - Hey! - Brick, Brick! 222 00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:18,913 - Can you come out and play?! - Hey, Brick! 223 00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,047 - Hi, Brick! - Hi, Brick! 224 00:08:20,049 --> 00:08:22,349 Brick, can you come out and play? 225 00:08:22,351 --> 00:08:24,451 I'm kind of in the middle of a book. 226 00:08:24,453 --> 00:08:25,986 Can we come in and play? 227 00:08:25,988 --> 00:08:28,155 Again, in the middle of the aforementioned book, 228 00:08:28,157 --> 00:08:30,257 in which the protagonist is in quite a pickle. 229 00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,793 Can we come in and eat a pickle? 230 00:08:32,795 --> 00:08:35,663 Look, guys, I know I was on fire the other day. 231 00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:37,064 I gave you a magical experience, 232 00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:38,899 but I just can't do that all the time, 233 00:08:38,901 --> 00:08:40,434 nor do I want to. 234 00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:43,504 Are you too busy doing something with the popular kids? 235 00:08:46,474 --> 00:08:47,541 Come in. 236 00:08:47,543 --> 00:08:49,777 Yay! 237 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,119 Don't need to know. 238 00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:56,283 What do you think about this for Bill? 239 00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:59,053 It's a bottle opener that plays the I.U. fight song. 240 00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:00,387 Oh, did Bill go to I.U.? 241 00:09:00,389 --> 00:09:02,189 I don't know. Damn it! 242 00:09:02,191 --> 00:09:04,158 Now I got to find out where Bill went to college? 243 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,460 He's got me right where he wants me... thinking about him. 244 00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,495 Wait. I didn't think you were gonna get him a present. 245 00:09:08,497 --> 00:09:10,364 Oh, I'm getting him a present. I want this debt paid. 246 00:09:10,366 --> 00:09:12,366 I'm settling the score, once and for all. 247 00:09:12,368 --> 00:09:15,035 Okay, you're buying him a Christmas gift, 248 00:09:15,037 --> 00:09:16,303 not avenging the death of your father. 249 00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:17,905 Okay. What about this? 250 00:09:17,907 --> 00:09:19,139 A popcorn tin 251 00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:20,908 with cheese-, butter- and caramel-flavored popcorn? 252 00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:23,410 Uh, I don't know. It doesn't seem very personal. 253 00:09:23,412 --> 00:09:25,351 I don't want it to be personal. 254 00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,181 Bill's already got everything. 255 00:09:27,183 --> 00:09:28,682 It's so hard to buy for a man. 256 00:09:28,684 --> 00:09:30,484 There's a million things you can buy for a woman. 257 00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,519 Which makes your choice of inflatable foot bath 258 00:09:32,521 --> 00:09:33,854 that much more baffling. 259 00:09:33,856 --> 00:09:35,768 Don't ever get married. 260 00:09:38,727 --> 00:09:40,761 Axl, can I talk to you for a second? 261 00:09:40,763 --> 00:09:42,396 I'm sorry, Sue. We're busy. 262 00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:43,931 And after this, Mom and I 263 00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:45,766 have to snow the Christmas village. 264 00:09:52,808 --> 00:09:54,808 When are you gonna tell Mom about getting married? 265 00:09:54,810 --> 00:09:56,644 Look, Mom and I are in a great place right now. 266 00:09:56,646 --> 00:09:59,013 - She's happy. - You have to do this, Axl. 267 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,147 I can't enjoy Christmas 268 00:10:00,149 --> 00:10:02,516 with this black cloud hanging over it. 269 00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:04,752 It's like "Downton Abbey" meets "Homeland." 270 00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:06,253 There's a big secret, and eventually, 271 00:10:06,255 --> 00:10:08,155 a bomb is gonna go off. 272 00:10:08,157 --> 00:10:09,924 We're all sitting on a powder keg here! 273 00:10:09,926 --> 00:10:11,392 Oh, get a grip, Sue. 274 00:10:11,394 --> 00:10:12,593 You get a grip! 275 00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:14,929 I can't look Mom in the eye right now. 276 00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:16,563 I'm horrible at keeping secrets. 277 00:10:16,565 --> 00:10:17,898 You know that. 278 00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,700 Mom and Dad are fixing your transmission for Christmas. 279 00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,803 Aw, I wanted that Japanese robot dog. 280 00:10:22,805 --> 00:10:24,571 Said the married man. 281 00:10:24,573 --> 00:10:26,807 Look, you need to talk to Mom and Dad. 282 00:10:26,809 --> 00:10:28,809 You need a plan, Axl, 283 00:10:28,811 --> 00:10:30,544 unless you have it all figured out. 284 00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,046 Are you gonna stay married? 285 00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,781 Have you talked to April? What is she thinking? 286 00:10:33,783 --> 00:10:35,249 What are you gonna do about Christmas? 287 00:10:35,251 --> 00:10:37,551 Are you going over to April's place, or is she coming here? 288 00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,820 As I have said before, I do not currently know 289 00:10:39,822 --> 00:10:41,634 the location of my wife. 290 00:10:41,791 --> 00:10:43,410 The cocoa's ready! 291 00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:47,861 Talk... to... her. 292 00:10:47,863 --> 00:10:49,697 I will, okay? I will. 293 00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:51,298 Just not while she's holding hot cocoa. 294 00:10:58,306 --> 00:11:00,074 Brick! 295 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,342 - Brick! - Brick! 296 00:11:01,344 --> 00:11:02,776 - Brick! - Brick! 297 00:11:02,778 --> 00:11:04,445 - Brick! - Brick! 298 00:11:04,447 --> 00:11:05,879 - Brick! - Brick! 299 00:11:05,881 --> 00:11:08,248 How much do you think something like this would cost? 300 00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,416 $40.45? 301 00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:10,651 Really? That much? 302 00:11:10,653 --> 00:11:13,220 Well, the case said that it has titanium nose pads 303 00:11:13,222 --> 00:11:15,990 and full-spectrum UVA/UVB protection. 304 00:11:15,992 --> 00:11:18,158 That bastard. 305 00:11:30,495 --> 00:11:33,564 And this is the ornament you made me in the 5th grade. 306 00:11:33,566 --> 00:11:36,066 Well, actually, I came to volunteer that day, 307 00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:37,368 and you just ran around, and I made it. 308 00:11:37,370 --> 00:11:38,869 Oh, yeah. 309 00:11:38,871 --> 00:11:40,237 This is so great, Axl. 310 00:11:40,239 --> 00:11:41,505 But, seriously, I know there must 311 00:11:41,507 --> 00:11:42,773 be other things you want to do. 312 00:11:42,775 --> 00:11:44,008 What? Are you kidding me? 313 00:11:44,010 --> 00:11:45,309 I love decorating the tree. 314 00:11:45,311 --> 00:11:47,111 I don't know why I ever thought this was lame. 315 00:11:47,113 --> 00:11:48,679 - It's great. - Aww. 316 00:11:48,681 --> 00:11:51,782 Well, you were a teenager, and teenagers do dumb things. 317 00:11:51,784 --> 00:11:54,781 Yeah, well, even people over 21 do dumb things. 318 00:11:54,783 --> 00:11:55,519 Tell me about it. 319 00:11:55,521 --> 00:11:57,087 Like the time I bought the glue-on nails 320 00:11:57,089 --> 00:11:58,155 at the gas station. 321 00:11:58,157 --> 00:11:59,890 Luckily, the numbness stopped at the elbows. 322 00:11:59,892 --> 00:12:01,525 Oh, right. 323 00:12:02,927 --> 00:12:04,728 Hey, Sue, come on! Look at the tree! 324 00:12:04,730 --> 00:12:07,331 Oh, it's amazing! 325 00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:09,633 You two must be really proud of everything you've accomplished 326 00:12:09,635 --> 00:12:10,968 what with all the other things 327 00:12:10,970 --> 00:12:12,495 that need to get done around here. 328 00:12:13,172 --> 00:12:14,938 Well, you've got to come around and look at the whole thing. 329 00:12:14,940 --> 00:12:16,907 No, no, no. I-I can picture it. 330 00:12:16,909 --> 00:12:18,642 I am just glad 331 00:12:18,644 --> 00:12:21,545 everyone is having a very merry Christmas. 332 00:12:21,547 --> 00:12:23,580 Nobody's having heartburn, 333 00:12:23,582 --> 00:12:25,282 no random vomiting 334 00:12:25,284 --> 00:12:26,917 or twisting your hair till it falls right out of your head. 335 00:12:26,919 --> 00:12:28,786 That is awesome! 336 00:12:28,788 --> 00:12:31,789 I am thrilled that you two 337 00:12:31,791 --> 00:12:34,024 are free to enjoy the wonders of the season. 338 00:12:38,597 --> 00:12:40,331 - Hmm. - Still a teenager. 339 00:12:44,602 --> 00:12:46,470 Code blue! Code blue! 340 00:12:46,472 --> 00:12:48,605 Try the door! 341 00:12:48,607 --> 00:12:50,007 - Hi, Brick! - Let's make a fort! 342 00:12:50,009 --> 00:12:51,308 Let's go through your stuff! 343 00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:53,510 Yay! 344 00:12:57,415 --> 00:12:58,515 Knock, knock. 345 00:12:58,517 --> 00:13:00,851 Oh, Sue. Were you praying? 346 00:13:00,853 --> 00:13:02,019 No. No. 347 00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:03,787 I'm just looking for something under my bed. 348 00:13:03,789 --> 00:13:04,955 Nope, not there. 349 00:13:04,957 --> 00:13:07,598 Hey, um, can I talk to you for a minute? 350 00:13:08,127 --> 00:13:09,574 Sure. 351 00:13:10,162 --> 00:13:12,275 Hey, is that poster crooked? 352 00:13:12,698 --> 00:13:15,444 Sue, honey... 353 00:13:15,835 --> 00:13:17,368 I know what's going on here. 354 00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:18,669 - You do? - Yeah. 355 00:13:18,671 --> 00:13:20,003 Don't worry. 356 00:13:20,005 --> 00:13:21,438 It's perfectly natural 357 00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,688 for you to be jealous of your brother. 358 00:13:24,310 --> 00:13:26,877 I know I've been spending a lot of time with Axl, 359 00:13:26,879 --> 00:13:29,346 but it's only because our relationship was so strained 360 00:13:29,348 --> 00:13:30,981 and we are both so happy to be able 361 00:13:30,983 --> 00:13:32,082 to put that all behind us. 362 00:13:33,252 --> 00:13:35,919 Sue, would you look at me when I'm talking to you? 363 00:13:35,921 --> 00:13:37,221 I thought I was. 364 00:13:37,223 --> 00:13:39,189 Look, the point is, no matter what, 365 00:13:39,191 --> 00:13:41,558 you're my only daughter, 366 00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,628 and we will always share a very special bond. 367 00:13:44,630 --> 00:13:47,931 Mom! The reindeer cookies are ready for frosting! 368 00:13:47,933 --> 00:13:49,099 Axl needs me. 369 00:13:50,268 --> 00:13:51,402 Coming! 370 00:13:51,404 --> 00:13:52,903 Ugh! Ohh. 371 00:13:52,905 --> 00:13:55,172 So, in order to get away from the Peterson kids, 372 00:13:55,174 --> 00:13:57,641 Brick took refuge at the library. 373 00:13:57,643 --> 00:13:59,943 The tricky part was coming back home. 374 00:13:59,945 --> 00:14:01,478 Oh, no. 375 00:14:08,386 --> 00:14:09,653 Oh, sorry. 376 00:14:09,655 --> 00:14:12,089 Wait. Were you trying on the sunglasses? 377 00:14:12,091 --> 00:14:13,457 - No. - Yes, you were. 378 00:14:13,459 --> 00:14:14,625 Put them back on so I can see. 379 00:14:14,627 --> 00:14:15,859 Eh, that's okay. 380 00:14:15,861 --> 00:14:18,262 Come on. I had to pick that weird thing off your back. 381 00:14:18,264 --> 00:14:20,063 We have no secrets. 382 00:14:21,634 --> 00:14:24,234 Ooh, I like them. 383 00:14:24,236 --> 00:14:27,171 - They make you look like a sexy cop. - Oh, really? 384 00:14:27,173 --> 00:14:29,206 'Cause I was thinking more of an Italian racecar driver. 385 00:14:29,208 --> 00:14:31,275 Mm-hmm. Or maybe an airline pilot. 386 00:14:31,277 --> 00:14:33,811 How long is your layover, Captain Heck? 387 00:14:33,813 --> 00:14:36,346 Wow, I can't believe you've never worn sunglasses before. 388 00:14:36,348 --> 00:14:37,581 You look great in them. 389 00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:39,917 I know. It sucks. I do look great in them. 390 00:14:39,919 --> 00:14:42,052 This whole thing is pissing me off. 391 00:14:42,054 --> 00:14:44,455 Bill got me the best gift. He nailed it. 392 00:14:44,457 --> 00:14:45,789 Now I got to do something just as good 393 00:14:45,791 --> 00:14:47,024 or I look like a jerk. 394 00:14:47,026 --> 00:14:49,159 What are you gonna do? 395 00:14:49,161 --> 00:14:52,629 I don't know! I saw this dispenser thing for a shower. 396 00:14:52,631 --> 00:14:53,864 It's got compartments 397 00:14:53,866 --> 00:14:55,933 for shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. 398 00:14:55,935 --> 00:14:57,201 I don't know, but Bill seems like 399 00:14:57,203 --> 00:14:59,303 he might be a body wash go... Damn it! 400 00:14:59,305 --> 00:15:00,904 I've never said "body wash" in my life, 401 00:15:00,906 --> 00:15:02,105 and now I've said it twice. 402 00:15:02,107 --> 00:15:04,141 This ends now. 403 00:15:06,946 --> 00:15:08,612 How much were they? 404 00:15:08,614 --> 00:15:10,147 - What? - The sunglasses. 405 00:15:10,149 --> 00:15:11,482 I tried to get you a good present, 406 00:15:11,484 --> 00:15:13,283 I couldn't find anything, so I'm just gonna give you cash. 407 00:15:13,285 --> 00:15:15,085 - How much? - No, Mike, they were a present. 408 00:15:15,087 --> 00:15:17,654 - You don't have to... - Let's not belabor it, okay? 409 00:15:17,656 --> 00:15:19,490 How much? 410 00:15:19,492 --> 00:15:21,458 - 42 bucks. - That include tax? 411 00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:22,960 Really, Mike? 412 00:15:22,962 --> 00:15:23,861 Yeah, really. 413 00:15:23,863 --> 00:15:24,962 Just give me the grand total 414 00:15:24,964 --> 00:15:26,841 and this whole nightmare can be over. 415 00:15:27,733 --> 00:15:29,399 $42.50. 416 00:15:29,401 --> 00:15:31,134 No, $44.32. 417 00:15:31,136 --> 00:15:32,503 Okay. 418 00:15:32,505 --> 00:15:35,105 $45. Keep the change. 419 00:15:40,112 --> 00:15:43,080 Hey, Mike, you never told me... 420 00:15:43,082 --> 00:15:44,314 do you like them? 421 00:15:45,817 --> 00:15:47,484 I love 'em. 422 00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:56,126 Just when I thought Christmas couldn't get any better, 423 00:15:56,128 --> 00:15:58,962 out of the blue, Axl suggested we drive around 424 00:15:58,964 --> 00:16:01,231 and see the Christmas lights in Orson Heights. 425 00:16:01,233 --> 00:16:03,433 We hadn't done that since the kids were little. 426 00:16:03,435 --> 00:16:05,469 I was beside myself. 427 00:16:05,471 --> 00:16:07,004 Mom, look at the penguins 428 00:16:07,006 --> 00:16:09,273 - on that Ferris wheel! - Oh, I love that. 429 00:16:09,275 --> 00:16:10,974 We should try to do something like that next year. 430 00:16:10,976 --> 00:16:12,109 Yeah, we're not doing that. 431 00:16:12,111 --> 00:16:13,710 Oh, and look at those reindeer! 432 00:16:13,712 --> 00:16:15,746 They've got their heads moving like they're grazing! 433 00:16:15,748 --> 00:16:16,914 We're not doing that. 434 00:16:16,916 --> 00:16:18,916 Now, those people have the Colts logo lit up. 435 00:16:18,918 --> 00:16:20,551 - That we can do. - Yeah. 436 00:16:20,553 --> 00:16:23,320 Well, this is nice... everybody in the car, together. 437 00:16:23,322 --> 00:16:24,488 How about we play a game? 438 00:16:24,490 --> 00:16:26,990 We'll call it "What's new in your life?" 439 00:16:26,992 --> 00:16:29,426 I reversed my reversible comforter. 440 00:16:29,428 --> 00:16:30,594 Next. 441 00:16:30,596 --> 00:16:31,461 I got new sunglasses. 442 00:16:31,463 --> 00:16:32,529 Dad, it's not your turn. 443 00:16:32,531 --> 00:16:34,031 Any recent changes in your life, Axl? 444 00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:36,033 I have a newfound appreciation 445 00:16:36,035 --> 00:16:38,502 for the holidays and my mother. 446 00:16:40,605 --> 00:16:41,638 Oh, no. 447 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:42,873 Gracie Peterson texted me 448 00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:44,508 asking me what time we'll be home. 449 00:16:44,510 --> 00:16:46,109 That's it. We got to move. 450 00:16:46,111 --> 00:16:48,812 Come on, Brick. They like you, and they're cute. 451 00:16:48,814 --> 00:16:50,847 They're cute until they won't leave you alone. 452 00:16:50,849 --> 00:16:52,516 I was in the snowbank for five hours 453 00:16:52,518 --> 00:16:54,551 and got frostbite on my page-turning finger. 454 00:16:54,553 --> 00:16:55,986 Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, whatever, whatever. 455 00:16:55,988 --> 00:16:57,454 Okay, new game. 456 00:16:57,456 --> 00:16:59,690 Everyone say something nobody else knows 457 00:16:59,692 --> 00:17:00,958 that you feel bad about 458 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,410 but you'll feel better after you say it. 459 00:17:03,629 --> 00:17:05,295 I used Dad's toothbrush. 460 00:17:05,297 --> 00:17:06,196 What? 461 00:17:06,198 --> 00:17:08,031 Not in my mouth. 462 00:17:08,033 --> 00:17:09,032 Boy, that's a load off. 463 00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:10,934 Not your turn! Axl! 464 00:17:10,936 --> 00:17:12,269 Can't think of a thing. 465 00:17:12,271 --> 00:17:13,704 Okay, I got one. 466 00:17:13,706 --> 00:17:15,706 When there were free refills, I got root beer 467 00:17:15,708 --> 00:17:17,474 even though my original pop was orange. 468 00:17:17,476 --> 00:17:19,242 Axl, did you think of anything? Anything at all? 469 00:17:19,244 --> 00:17:20,978 I don't like this game, Sue. 470 00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:22,579 Well, we can play something else. 471 00:17:22,581 --> 00:17:24,247 I'm not married to it. 472 00:17:24,249 --> 00:17:25,716 You know what? 473 00:17:25,718 --> 00:17:28,085 I've just got to to say, with my family all together, 474 00:17:28,087 --> 00:17:31,388 I'm just so filled with a sense of joy and peace. 475 00:17:31,390 --> 00:17:33,724 This may be the best Christmas ever. 476 00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:35,792 Oh, no! 477 00:17:35,794 --> 00:17:38,128 If that's Gracie, tell her I'm not here. 478 00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:40,163 Hello? 479 00:17:40,165 --> 00:17:41,999 Oh, hi! 480 00:17:42,001 --> 00:17:45,102 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. 481 00:17:45,104 --> 00:17:46,970 I did not know that. 482 00:17:46,972 --> 00:17:48,905 Yeah, of course we'll be there. 483 00:17:48,907 --> 00:17:51,642 Thank you. Merry Christmas to you, too. 484 00:17:52,845 --> 00:17:54,378 - You got married?! - Whoa. 485 00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:55,946 - You idiot! - Wait. What?! 486 00:17:55,948 --> 00:17:57,514 - Uh-oh. - He married her, Mike. 487 00:17:57,516 --> 00:17:58,882 He married April! 488 00:17:58,884 --> 00:17:59,950 - Yeah. - Damn it, Axl! 489 00:17:59,952 --> 00:18:01,284 - Ow! - I am gonna kill you! 490 00:18:01,286 --> 00:18:02,386 - That was April's mom on the phone. - Stop, please, ow. 491 00:18:02,388 --> 00:18:03,754 - Stop her! - I had to hear it from her! 492 00:18:03,756 --> 00:18:05,255 Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God, oh, God! 493 00:18:05,257 --> 00:18:06,923 Oh, God, oh, God! 494 00:18:06,925 --> 00:18:08,659 What the hell were you thinking?! 495 00:18:08,661 --> 00:18:10,460 I wasn't thinking... you should know that! 496 00:18:10,462 --> 00:18:11,728 I'm very vulnerable! 497 00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:14,398 Well, I sent you that dirty carrot, and you ignored it! 498 00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,000 Hey, hold on! Hold on, hold on. 499 00:18:17,002 --> 00:18:18,502 Did you have to marry her? 500 00:18:18,504 --> 00:18:20,737 - No. - That makes it worse! 501 00:18:20,739 --> 00:18:21,838 Hey! 502 00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,440 I told him to tell you! 503 00:18:23,442 --> 00:18:26,043 I was the only one who knew! It was killing me! 504 00:18:26,045 --> 00:18:29,646 I stress-chewed my cheeks till they're hamburger! 505 00:18:30,114 --> 00:18:31,615 No! You get away from those Wise Men! 506 00:18:31,617 --> 00:18:33,750 You've got no business being around Wise Men. 507 00:18:33,752 --> 00:18:34,951 I wanted to tell you guys, 508 00:18:34,953 --> 00:18:36,520 but I didn't want to ruin your Christmas. 509 00:18:36,522 --> 00:18:37,888 That ship has sailed. 510 00:18:37,890 --> 00:18:39,556 I can't believe you did this! 511 00:18:39,558 --> 00:18:41,258 You got married and you didn't even tell me? 512 00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:42,659 You didn't even invite me! 513 00:18:42,661 --> 00:18:44,628 I know I would've been stuck wearing a stupid yellow dress 514 00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:46,363 'cause that's what always happens to boy moms. 515 00:18:46,365 --> 00:18:47,998 We always are the last to find out! 516 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,467 But I didn't think I would be the very last to find out! 517 00:18:50,469 --> 00:18:52,803 Okay, if you'll just let me talk, I can explain. 518 00:18:52,805 --> 00:18:54,271 Great. Talk. 519 00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,406 I... Uunnngh! 520 00:18:56,408 --> 00:18:57,641 Get him, Brick! 521 00:18:59,411 --> 00:19:00,477 Sue! 522 00:19:01,279 --> 00:19:02,679 Oh, gee! 523 00:19:04,383 --> 00:19:06,283 - Where you going, Axl, huh, huh? - Get up, fool. 524 00:19:06,285 --> 00:19:08,719 - I told him to tell you! - No, please, listen, I can explain! 525 00:19:08,721 --> 00:19:11,888 You kids are not going over to that boy's house ever again. 526 00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:13,623 Hey, come on! 527 00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,114 All right. 528 00:19:18,139 --> 00:19:20,239 So, what do you want to do, Axl? 529 00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:22,074 - I don't know. - What do you mean you don't know? 530 00:19:22,076 --> 00:19:23,342 Do you love April? 531 00:19:23,344 --> 00:19:24,744 Yeah, I love her. 532 00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:27,046 I just don't know if I wife love her. 533 00:19:27,048 --> 00:19:28,848 Well, if you don't love her now, 534 00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:31,484 there is no way in hell you're gonna love her later. 535 00:19:31,486 --> 00:19:33,181 Look, I'm just dumb, all right? 536 00:19:33,183 --> 00:19:34,153 I'm really dumb. 537 00:19:34,155 --> 00:19:35,488 I got swept up in the moment, 538 00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:37,823 but I am still in college... I've got to graduate. 539 00:19:37,825 --> 00:19:39,725 I mean, April picks up golf balls for a living, 540 00:19:39,727 --> 00:19:40,993 and my house is a Winnebago. 541 00:19:40,995 --> 00:19:42,461 Oh, God. 542 00:19:42,463 --> 00:19:44,430 I'm starting to think I did not think this through. 543 00:19:44,432 --> 00:19:46,532 But, on the other hand, she is kind of amazing. 544 00:19:46,534 --> 00:19:48,334 I mean, she makes me laugh, and she looks like... 545 00:19:48,336 --> 00:19:51,103 well, you've seen her... an angel, right? 546 00:19:51,105 --> 00:19:53,206 Oh, God, I don't know! I don't know. 547 00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:55,775 I just... I need you guys to tell me what to do. 548 00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,710 I'd say that if you need to ask your parents 549 00:19:57,712 --> 00:19:59,011 if you should be married, 550 00:19:59,013 --> 00:20:00,546 you probably shouldn't be married. 551 00:20:01,682 --> 00:20:03,816 Okay, I've researched grounds for annulment 552 00:20:03,818 --> 00:20:05,184 in the state of Indiana. 553 00:20:05,186 --> 00:20:09,455 There's not being of legal age, suspicion of fraud, 554 00:20:09,457 --> 00:20:11,657 if one or both of the parties are mentally unstable... 555 00:20:11,659 --> 00:20:12,858 - Bingo! - That one. 556 00:20:17,397 --> 00:20:18,731 I'm gonna kill her. 557 00:20:18,733 --> 00:20:20,132 She's such an idiot. 558 00:20:20,134 --> 00:20:23,035 He's got her beat at being an idiot all day long. 559 00:20:23,037 --> 00:20:24,203 But we love Axl. 560 00:20:24,205 --> 00:20:27,139 Oh, and we love April. She's a delight. 561 00:20:27,808 --> 00:20:29,875 Okay, done. 562 00:20:29,877 --> 00:20:33,279 Well, I seem to find myself recently single. 563 00:20:33,281 --> 00:20:35,815 You want to maybe, uh, go on a date? 564 00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:38,451 You know, grab a slice of pizza or something? 565 00:20:38,453 --> 00:20:39,752 I do. 566 00:20:39,754 --> 00:20:42,521 I mean, I'd like that. 567 00:20:44,758 --> 00:20:46,158 So, that Christmas, 568 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,194 instead of getting Axl a new transmission, 569 00:20:48,196 --> 00:20:50,229 we got him an annulment. 570 00:20:50,231 --> 00:20:52,498 Sue got her family back, 571 00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,500 Brick got a little peace, 572 00:20:54,502 --> 00:20:57,837 and I got pulled over by a cop... 573 00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,171 if you know what I mean. 574 00:21:04,510 --> 00:21:10,390 _ 575 00:21:10,817 --> 00:21:17,633 Synced & corrected by -robtor- www.addic7ed.com