﻿1
00:00:01,627 --> 00:00:03,729
["O Christmas Tree" plays]

2
00:00:06,302 --> 00:00:07,135
You did what?

3
00:00:07,137 --> 00:00:09,171
I married April!

4
00:00:09,172 --> 00:00:11,238
I'm sorry? You carried April?

5
00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:12,506
No. I <i>married</i> her.

6
00:00:12,508 --> 00:00:15,076
My brain cannot even process
the fact that you just said

7
00:00:15,078 --> 00:00:17,945
"married," so I'm assuming
you said "carried,"

8
00:00:17,947 --> 00:00:19,380
like over a big puddle.

9
00:00:19,382 --> 00:00:20,614
Yeah, I did carry her...

10
00:00:20,616 --> 00:00:21,649
Oh.

11
00:00:21,651 --> 00:00:23,417
...into the 'Bago after I married her.

12
00:00:23,419 --> 00:00:25,519
Why?! Why? Why? Why? Why?

13
00:00:25,521 --> 00:00:27,021
Why? Why? Why?!

14
00:00:27,023 --> 00:00:28,389
To piss off Mom!

15
00:00:28,391 --> 00:00:31,525
W-W-Wait! You got married
just to make Mom mad?

16
00:00:31,527 --> 00:00:32,368
Yeah.

17
00:00:32,393 --> 00:00:34,261
Well, what did she
say when you told her?

18
00:00:34,263 --> 00:00:36,364
I didn't tell her yet,
'cause she's gonna be mad.

19
00:00:36,366 --> 00:00:37,431
Yeah. [Chuckles]

20
00:00:37,433 --> 00:00:39,400
Getting married to make Mom mad
makes sense.

21
00:00:39,402 --> 00:00:41,102
Look, it just happened, okay?

22
00:00:41,104 --> 00:00:42,670
April and I were in the Winnebago,

23
00:00:42,672 --> 00:00:44,171
talking about how her parents
don't like me

24
00:00:44,173 --> 00:00:45,806
and my parents don't like her,
and I don't know.

25
00:00:45,808 --> 00:00:46,687
We just started feeling like,

26
00:00:46,689 --> 00:00:49,010
"Hey, we don't need anybody.
We got each other."

27
00:00:49,012 --> 00:00:50,878
So, the more we talked about it,
the more upset we got,

28
00:00:50,880 --> 00:00:53,080
and next thing I know,
we're at the courthouse

29
00:00:53,082 --> 00:00:54,849
in this really long line.

30
00:00:54,851 --> 00:00:56,484
And it was around then I started
to have second thoughts,

31
00:00:56,486 --> 00:00:58,452
but if we got out of line,
we'd lose our place,

32
00:00:58,454 --> 00:01:00,755
and everyone else in line
was so happy for us,

33
00:01:00,757 --> 00:01:04,291
'cause we're really young
and hot, and they're all so old.

34
00:01:04,293 --> 00:01:06,660
That's because you're too young
to get married!

35
00:01:06,662 --> 00:01:09,230
You were supposed to date
for 2 1/2 years, graduate,

36
00:01:09,232 --> 00:01:11,665
get a job, and then get married
in a small church,

37
00:01:11,667 --> 00:01:13,934
surrounded by God
and your friends and family

38
00:01:13,936 --> 00:01:15,469
and even the cousins
you don't know very well,

39
00:01:15,471 --> 00:01:17,405
and I am a bridesmaid!

40
00:01:17,407 --> 00:01:19,840
Now, I'll just have to be
a bridesmaid for Cindy

41
00:01:19,842 --> 00:01:22,410
and wear a formal dress
and a safari hat!

42
00:01:22,412 --> 00:01:24,245
It's not about you guys.

43
00:01:24,247 --> 00:01:26,547
It's about me and April, and I love her.

44
00:01:26,549 --> 00:01:28,916
Enough to be married
to her forever, like

45
00:01:28,918 --> 00:01:31,318
"till death do you part" love her?

46
00:01:34,489 --> 00:01:37,391
- I don't know.
- You don't know?

47
00:01:37,393 --> 00:01:38,592
You don't know?!

48
00:01:38,594 --> 00:01:41,629
I don't know, Sue.
Stop nagging me. I got a wife.

49
00:01:41,631 --> 00:01:43,597
Oh, my God! I've got a wife.

50
00:01:43,599 --> 00:01:44,765
Okay. All right.

51
00:01:44,767 --> 00:01:47,268
Let's just take it down for a second.

52
00:01:47,270 --> 00:01:49,670
[Exhales sharply] Okay. Where is April?

53
00:01:49,672 --> 00:01:52,773
Uh, well, after we got married,

54
00:01:52,775 --> 00:01:54,341
we hit a taco truck,

55
00:01:54,343 --> 00:01:56,410
and then I drove her back
to Orson and dropped her off,

56
00:01:56,412 --> 00:01:57,645
'cause she had to work,

57
00:01:57,647 --> 00:01:59,480
but I don't know where she is right now.

58
00:02:00,348 --> 00:02:03,384
Oh, my God. I have a wife
and I have no idea where she is!

59
00:02:03,386 --> 00:02:05,953
Shouldn't I know
where my wife is at all times?

60
00:02:05,955 --> 00:02:08,055
Seriously, Axl, how is this gonna work?

61
00:02:08,057 --> 00:02:09,323
Where are you guys gonna live?

62
00:02:09,325 --> 00:02:10,491
Are you moving in with her?

63
00:02:10,493 --> 00:02:11,759
Is she moving in to the 'Bago?

64
00:02:11,761 --> 00:02:13,060
You guys getting your own place?

65
00:02:13,062 --> 00:02:14,261
Is she gonna take your name?

66
00:02:14,263 --> 00:02:15,996
Are you gonna make her be a Heck?

67
00:02:17,199 --> 00:02:18,666
Oh.

68
00:02:20,936 --> 00:02:23,337
You have to talk to Mom and Dad.

69
00:02:23,339 --> 00:02:25,473
I can't, Sue. I just can't.

70
00:02:25,475 --> 00:02:27,741
Well, you have to. They will understand.

71
00:02:27,743 --> 00:02:29,343
They love you.

72
00:02:29,345 --> 00:02:32,513
A-And, obviously, you're very confused

73
00:02:32,515 --> 00:02:34,448
and conflicted,
because you're hugging me,

74
00:02:34,450 --> 00:02:36,688
and you're not
making any barfing sounds.

75
00:02:38,753 --> 00:02:40,221
Talk to them, Axl.

76
00:02:40,223 --> 00:02:41,989
Ohh.

77
00:02:42,958 --> 00:02:46,127
Oh, hi. Hi. Hi.

78
00:02:46,129 --> 00:02:47,394
Is your mom home?

79
00:02:47,396 --> 00:02:49,797
Um, she didn't say anything
about calling in work

80
00:02:49,799 --> 00:02:51,899
and faking a cold,
so I would go with no.

81
00:02:51,901 --> 00:02:53,200
[Children shouting]
How about your sister?

82
00:02:53,202 --> 00:02:54,329
- Anyone else home?
- No.

83
00:02:54,331 --> 00:02:55,405
Watch me, Mommy!

84
00:02:55,430 --> 00:02:56,170
- No, watch me!
- Over here, watch me!

85
00:02:56,172 --> 00:02:57,538
No, no. I'm not watching you right now.

86
00:02:57,540 --> 00:02:58,682
I'm talking to this boy.

87
00:02:58,684 --> 00:03:00,975
- [Children shouting]
- Hi. How old are you?

88
00:03:00,977 --> 00:03:02,009
15.

89
00:03:02,011 --> 00:03:03,110
You'll do.

90
00:03:03,112 --> 00:03:04,645
I have to take the baby to the doctor.

91
00:03:04,647 --> 00:03:06,614
Would you mind watching the kids
while I'm away?

92
00:03:06,616 --> 00:03:08,182
If I bring them
to the pediatrician's office,

93
00:03:08,184 --> 00:03:09,517
they will tear it to shreds.

94
00:03:09,519 --> 00:03:11,919
I mean, we replaced the fish,
but they're still mad.

95
00:03:11,921 --> 00:03:14,188
But why would they keep cup toys
next to a fish tank?

96
00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:16,357
- Look, Mom, watch me!
- Watch me!

97
00:03:16,359 --> 00:03:18,025
Yeah, I'm watching you!

98
00:03:18,027 --> 00:03:20,094
Uh, I don't think I'm your guy.

99
00:03:20,096 --> 00:03:22,196
- I'm not even allowed to have a hamster.
- Oh, it's fine.

100
00:03:22,198 --> 00:03:24,398
I don't even know where my dog is.

101
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,635
It's fine. It's okay.
It's great. It's fine.

102
00:03:27,637 --> 00:03:29,803
I-I've never babysat before in my life!

103
00:03:29,805 --> 00:03:30,971
It's good. Watch me!

104
00:03:30,973 --> 00:03:33,841
No. The... The boy
is gonna watch you now.

105
00:03:33,843 --> 00:03:35,509
Hey, boy. Hey, boy, look at me!

106
00:03:35,511 --> 00:03:37,077
You might want to watch them.

107
00:03:37,079 --> 00:03:38,612
I'm right here, boy!

108
00:03:38,614 --> 00:03:39,947
Come on!

109
00:03:39,949 --> 00:03:41,515
[Children shouting]

110
00:03:43,985 --> 00:03:45,452
[Knock on door]

111
00:03:46,621 --> 00:03:47,688
Hey, buddy, Merry Christmas.

112
00:03:47,690 --> 00:03:48,656
Merry Christmas.

113
00:03:48,658 --> 00:03:50,391
Ah, I got something for you.

114
00:03:50,393 --> 00:03:52,493
Oh. Is this from Paula for Frankie?

115
00:03:52,495 --> 00:03:53,961
No. It's for you.

116
00:03:53,963 --> 00:03:55,396
From who?

117
00:03:55,398 --> 00:03:56,583
Me.

118
00:03:57,233 --> 00:03:58,599
- Why?
- I was at the mall,

119
00:03:58,601 --> 00:04:00,501
and I saw this and thought of you.

120
00:04:02,037 --> 00:04:03,370
Why are you thinking of me?

121
00:04:03,372 --> 00:04:05,472
Come on. Open it.

122
00:04:07,842 --> 00:04:09,674
Sunglasses!

123
00:04:10,580 --> 00:04:11,912
Uh-huh.

124
00:04:11,914 --> 00:04:13,347
You know, I've never seen you
with sunglasses on,

125
00:04:13,349 --> 00:04:15,210
and you're always
kind of squinting, so...

126
00:04:15,551 --> 00:04:17,001
thought you could use them.

127
00:04:18,254 --> 00:04:21,188
Oh. These are nice.

128
00:04:21,190 --> 00:04:22,797
- Yeah.
- Thanks.

129
00:04:23,426 --> 00:04:24,521
Put 'em on.

130
00:04:25,027 --> 00:04:26,460
Nah. It's not that bright out.

131
00:04:26,462 --> 00:04:28,362
You're kind of squinting
a little bit right now.

132
00:04:28,364 --> 00:04:30,130
Come on. Put them on.

133
00:04:30,132 --> 00:04:31,732
I want to see how they look on you.

134
00:04:33,101 --> 00:04:34,435
Nah. I'm fine.

135
00:04:34,437 --> 00:04:35,836
Oh.

136
00:04:35,838 --> 00:04:37,504
[Clears throat] All right, then.

137
00:04:37,506 --> 00:04:40,574
Yeah. I'll, uh, I'll see you around.

138
00:04:40,576 --> 00:04:43,244
♪

139
00:04:51,920 --> 00:04:54,989
All right. Sergeant MacKenzie
won the battle,

140
00:04:54,991 --> 00:04:57,157
but the volcano erupted, and now,

141
00:04:57,159 --> 00:04:58,425
there's hot lava everywhere.

142
00:04:58,427 --> 00:04:59,727
Quick! To safety!

143
00:04:59,729 --> 00:05:01,128
Aah! - Aah! - Aah!

144
00:05:01,130 --> 00:05:03,130
- [Laughter]
- [Cellphone chiming]

145
00:05:05,233 --> 00:05:08,702
Aw, Mom's back, and she wants us
to come home.

146
00:05:08,704 --> 00:05:09,903
- No!
- Grr!

147
00:05:09,905 --> 00:05:12,806
Tell Mom the lava's hot
and we can't leave.

148
00:05:12,808 --> 00:05:14,875
Yeah! - Yeah! - Yeah!

149
00:05:14,877 --> 00:05:16,877
Oh, you don't want to keep
your mom waiting.

150
00:05:16,879 --> 00:05:18,679
You probably should go.

151
00:05:18,681 --> 00:05:20,933
Okay. Come on, guys.

152
00:05:21,717 --> 00:05:23,784
I had a lot of fun, Brick.

153
00:05:23,786 --> 00:05:26,587
You must be the most popular kid
in school.

154
00:05:27,989 --> 00:05:30,224
Well, I am in school.

155
00:05:33,461 --> 00:05:35,529
I love you, Brick.

156
00:05:42,237 --> 00:05:45,239
<i>Frankie: So Brick was feeling
pretty good about himself.</i>

157
00:05:45,241 --> 00:05:48,008
<i>Unfortunately, I hadn't seen
Axl in three weeks,</i>

158
00:05:48,010 --> 00:05:51,345
<i>so I was feeling pretty sorry
for myself.</i>

159
00:05:51,347 --> 00:05:52,780
♪

160
00:05:52,782 --> 00:05:54,648
[Door opens]

161
00:05:54,650 --> 00:05:56,150
Oh, good. You're here.

162
00:05:56,152 --> 00:05:57,518
I need help decorating the tree.

163
00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:58,686
I've been so depressed,

164
00:05:58,688 --> 00:06:00,721
I'm eating the popcorn off the garland.

165
00:06:00,723 --> 00:06:03,290
Uh, there's someone on the porch
who wants to see you.

166
00:06:03,292 --> 00:06:04,892
I told that tuba-player kid,

167
00:06:04,894 --> 00:06:06,627
I am not buying his cheese and sausage.

168
00:06:06,629 --> 00:06:09,330
He's gonna have to find another
way to get to the Rose Parade.

169
00:06:18,006 --> 00:06:19,239
[Voice breaking] Oh, my God!

170
00:06:19,241 --> 00:06:21,008
[Sniffles] You're home!

171
00:06:21,010 --> 00:06:22,176
[Crying]

172
00:06:22,178 --> 00:06:25,079
This is the best Christmas present ever!

173
00:06:25,081 --> 00:06:27,614
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!

174
00:06:27,616 --> 00:06:29,149
Oh!

175
00:06:29,151 --> 00:06:31,719
Mom, I need to tell
you something, so, listen.

176
00:06:31,721 --> 00:06:33,287
No! I don't want to hear it.

177
00:06:33,289 --> 00:06:35,356
You said things. I said things.

178
00:06:35,358 --> 00:06:37,124
Let's just put it behind us.

179
00:06:37,126 --> 00:06:39,693
You're home, and that is
all I care about. Mwah!

180
00:06:39,695 --> 00:06:41,695
Yeah, well, the reason I'm home is...

181
00:06:41,697 --> 00:06:43,230
The reasons don't matter.

182
00:06:43,232 --> 00:06:45,499
One might. From here
on out, fresh start.

183
00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:46,900
Let's just move forward.

184
00:06:46,902 --> 00:06:48,402
Nothing could ruin this moment.

185
00:06:48,404 --> 00:06:49,703
Oh, it's Christmas,

186
00:06:49,705 --> 00:06:51,505
and Christmas is all about families,

187
00:06:51,507 --> 00:06:54,608
and our family is together again.

188
00:06:54,610 --> 00:06:55,809
[Whispers] You're my favorite.

189
00:06:55,811 --> 00:06:59,012
Oh, Mike! Mike! Our son is back.

190
00:06:59,014 --> 00:07:00,714
Our son is home.

191
00:07:00,716 --> 00:07:01,815
Whoa!

192
00:07:02,751 --> 00:07:04,184
That's okay. I'm all right.

193
00:07:07,605 --> 00:07:11,073
Okay, Mom, which piece
of the Christmas village

194
00:07:11,122 --> 00:07:12,347
do you want to set up next?

195
00:07:12,380 --> 00:07:14,114
Let's do the church, and then
we'll build out from there.

196
00:07:14,116 --> 00:07:15,515
Oh, that's genius!

197
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:17,952
Oh, thanks for helping me, Axl.

198
00:07:17,954 --> 00:07:19,620
Yeah. You know, I thought
you just wanted to do this

199
00:07:19,622 --> 00:07:20,855
'cause you wanted to put the townspeople

200
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:22,289
in compromising positions.

201
00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:24,525
Oh, Mom, you know
I've grown out of that.

202
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,827
But, if I hadn't, I'd go with
the baker and the librarian.

203
00:07:26,829 --> 00:07:28,829
- She is long overdue.
- [Laughs]

204
00:07:28,831 --> 00:07:32,633
That's terrible. Hey, what are these?

205
00:07:32,635 --> 00:07:33,868
- They're mine.
- What?

206
00:07:33,870 --> 00:07:36,237
I've never seen
you wear sunglasses before.

207
00:07:36,239 --> 00:07:38,773
Yeah. Bill got them for me...
for Christmas.

208
00:07:38,775 --> 00:07:40,708
Said he was at the mall
thinking about me.

209
00:07:40,710 --> 00:07:42,510
- Oh, that's nice.
- [Refrigerator door opens]

210
00:07:42,512 --> 00:07:43,577
Is it, though?

211
00:07:43,579 --> 00:07:45,880
It's turning into this whole thing.

212
00:07:45,882 --> 00:07:47,481
Now I got to get something
for Bill, right?

213
00:07:47,483 --> 00:07:48,516
That's the way it works?

214
00:07:48,518 --> 00:07:49,850
That's not necessarily true.

215
00:07:49,852 --> 00:07:50,951
He may have gotten you something

216
00:07:50,953 --> 00:07:52,319
just 'cause he's a kind person.

217
00:07:52,321 --> 00:07:53,687
No. You weren't there.

218
00:07:53,689 --> 00:07:55,156
Got really awkward at the door.

219
00:07:55,158 --> 00:07:56,724
He was just standing there.

220
00:07:56,726 --> 00:07:57,925
Didn't you invite him in?

221
00:07:57,927 --> 00:07:59,927
- No. I was thrown.
- [Sighs]

222
00:07:59,929 --> 00:08:01,762
Well, these are really cool.

223
00:08:01,764 --> 00:08:02,730
Have you tried them on?

224
00:08:02,732 --> 00:08:04,632
No. I'm not playing his game.

225
00:08:04,634 --> 00:08:05,733
And I'll tell you something else...

226
00:08:05,735 --> 00:08:07,835
I'm not getting him anything. I'm out.

227
00:08:07,837 --> 00:08:09,970
[Sighs]

228
00:08:09,972 --> 00:08:11,672
Don't ever get married.

229
00:08:11,674 --> 00:08:12,807
Ha!

230
00:08:12,809 --> 00:08:15,376
♪

231
00:08:15,378 --> 00:08:16,343
[Pounding on door]

232
00:08:16,345 --> 00:08:17,745
- Hey!
- Brick, Brick!

233
00:08:17,747 --> 00:08:18,913
- Can you come out and play?!
- Hey, Brick!

234
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,047
- Hi, Brick!
- Hi, Brick!

235
00:08:20,049 --> 00:08:22,349
Brick, can you come out and play?

236
00:08:22,351 --> 00:08:24,451
I'm kind of in the middle of a book.

237
00:08:24,453 --> 00:08:25,986
Can we come in and play?

238
00:08:25,988 --> 00:08:28,155
Again, in the middle
of the aforementioned book,

239
00:08:28,157 --> 00:08:30,257
in which the protagonist
is in quite a pickle.

240
00:08:30,259 --> 00:08:32,793
Can we come in and eat a pickle?

241
00:08:32,795 --> 00:08:35,663
Look, guys, I know I was on fire
the other day.

242
00:08:35,665 --> 00:08:37,064
I gave you a magical experience,

243
00:08:37,066 --> 00:08:38,899
but I just can't do that all the time,

244
00:08:38,901 --> 00:08:40,434
nor do I want to.

245
00:08:40,436 --> 00:08:43,504
Are you too busy doing something
with the popular kids?

246
00:08:46,474 --> 00:08:47,541
Come in.

247
00:08:47,543 --> 00:08:49,777
Together: Yay!

248
00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:53,119
Don't need to know.

249
00:08:54,150 --> 00:08:56,283
What do you think about this for Bill?

250
00:08:56,285 --> 00:08:59,053
It's a bottle opener that plays
the I.U. fight song.

251
00:08:59,055 --> 00:09:00,387
Oh, did Bill go to I.U.?

252
00:09:00,389 --> 00:09:02,189
I don't know. Damn it!

253
00:09:02,191 --> 00:09:04,158
Now I got to find out
where Bill went to college?

254
00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:06,460
He's got me right where he wants
me... thinking about him.

255
00:09:06,462 --> 00:09:08,495
Wait. I didn't think you were
gonna get him a present.

256
00:09:08,497 --> 00:09:10,364
Oh, I'm getting him a present.
I want this debt paid.

257
00:09:10,366 --> 00:09:12,366
I'm settling the score,
once and for all.

258
00:09:12,368 --> 00:09:15,035
[Scoffs] Okay, you're buying
him a Christmas gift,

259
00:09:15,037 --> 00:09:16,303
not avenging the death of your father.

260
00:09:16,305 --> 00:09:17,905
[Chuckles] Okay. What about this?

261
00:09:17,907 --> 00:09:19,139
A popcorn tin

262
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:20,908
with cheese-, butter-
and caramel-flavored popcorn?

263
00:09:20,910 --> 00:09:23,410
Uh, I don't know.
It doesn't seem very personal.

264
00:09:23,412 --> 00:09:25,351
I don't want it to be personal.

265
00:09:25,815 --> 00:09:27,181
Bill's already got everything.

266
00:09:27,183 --> 00:09:28,682
It's so hard to buy for a man.

267
00:09:28,684 --> 00:09:30,484
There's a million things
you can buy for a woman.

268
00:09:30,486 --> 00:09:32,519
Which makes your choice
of inflatable foot bath

269
00:09:32,521 --> 00:09:33,854
that much more baffling.

270
00:09:33,856 --> 00:09:35,768
[Sighs] Don't ever get married.

271
00:09:38,727 --> 00:09:40,761
Axl, can I talk to you for a second?

272
00:09:40,763 --> 00:09:42,396
I'm sorry, Sue. We're busy.

273
00:09:42,398 --> 00:09:43,931
And after this, Mom and I

274
00:09:43,933 --> 00:09:45,766
have to snow the Christmas village.

275
00:09:45,768 --> 00:09:47,134
[Laughs]

276
00:09:47,136 --> 00:09:49,570
♪

277
00:09:51,373 --> 00:09:52,806
[Door closes]

278
00:09:52,808 --> 00:09:54,808
When are you gonna tell Mom
about getting married?

279
00:09:54,810 --> 00:09:56,644
Look, Mom and I are in
a great place right now.

280
00:09:56,646 --> 00:09:59,013
- She's happy.
- You have to do this, Axl.

281
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,147
I can't enjoy Christmas

282
00:10:00,149 --> 00:10:02,516
with this black cloud hanging over it.

283
00:10:02,518 --> 00:10:04,752
It's like "Downton Abbey"
meets "Homeland."

284
00:10:04,754 --> 00:10:06,253
There's a big secret, and eventually,

285
00:10:06,255 --> 00:10:08,155
a bomb is gonna go off.

286
00:10:08,157 --> 00:10:09,924
We're all sitting on a powder keg here!

287
00:10:09,926 --> 00:10:11,392
Oh, get a grip, Sue.

288
00:10:11,394 --> 00:10:12,593
<i>You</i> get a grip!

289
00:10:12,595 --> 00:10:14,929
I can't look Mom in the eye right now.

290
00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:16,563
I'm horrible at keeping secrets.

291
00:10:16,565 --> 00:10:17,898
You know that.

292
00:10:17,900 --> 00:10:19,700
Mom and Dad are fixing
your transmission for Christmas.

293
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:22,803
Aw, I wanted that Japanese robot dog.

294
00:10:22,805 --> 00:10:24,571
Said the married man.

295
00:10:24,573 --> 00:10:26,807
Look, you need to talk to Mom and Dad.

296
00:10:26,809 --> 00:10:28,809
You need a plan, Axl,

297
00:10:28,811 --> 00:10:30,544
unless you have it all figured out.

298
00:10:30,546 --> 00:10:32,046
Are you gonna stay married?

299
00:10:32,048 --> 00:10:33,781
Have you talked to April?
What is she thinking?

300
00:10:33,783 --> 00:10:35,249
What are you gonna do about Christmas?

301
00:10:35,251 --> 00:10:37,551
Are you going over to April's
place, or is she coming here?

302
00:10:37,553 --> 00:10:39,820
As I have said before,
I do not currently know

303
00:10:39,822 --> 00:10:41,634
the location of my wife.

304
00:10:41,791 --> 00:10:43,410
Frankie: The cocoa's ready!

305
00:10:43,759 --> 00:10:45,359
[Groans]

306
00:10:45,361 --> 00:10:47,861
Talk... to... her.

307
00:10:47,863 --> 00:10:49,697
I will, okay? I will.

308
00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:51,298
Just not while she's holding hot cocoa.

309
00:10:51,300 --> 00:10:54,068
♪

310
00:10:58,306 --> 00:11:00,074
- [Pounding on door]
- Children: Brick!

311
00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,342
- Brick!
- Brick!

312
00:11:01,344 --> 00:11:02,776
- Brick!
- Brick!

313
00:11:02,778 --> 00:11:04,445
- Brick!
- Brick!

314
00:11:04,447 --> 00:11:05,879
- Brick!
- Brick!

315
00:11:05,881 --> 00:11:08,248
Mike: How much do you think
something like this would cost?

316
00:11:08,250 --> 00:11:09,416
$40.45?

317
00:11:09,418 --> 00:11:10,651
Really? That much?

318
00:11:10,653 --> 00:11:13,220
Well, the case said that
it has titanium nose pads

319
00:11:13,222 --> 00:11:15,990
and full-spectrum UVA/UVB protection.

320
00:11:15,992 --> 00:11:18,158
That bastard.

321
00:11:22,464 --> 00:11:24,665
[Children screaming]

322
00:11:24,667 --> 00:11:25,667
♪

323
00:11:30,495 --> 00:11:33,564
And this is the ornament
you made me in the 5th grade.

324
00:11:33,566 --> 00:11:36,066
Well, actually,
I came to volunteer that day,

325
00:11:36,068 --> 00:11:37,368
and you just ran around, and <i>I</i> made it.

326
00:11:37,370 --> 00:11:38,869
- Oh, yeah.
- [Laughs]

327
00:11:38,871 --> 00:11:40,237
This is so great, Axl.

328
00:11:40,239 --> 00:11:41,505
But, seriously, I know there must

329
00:11:41,507 --> 00:11:42,773
be other things you want to do.

330
00:11:42,775 --> 00:11:44,008
What? Are you kidding me?

331
00:11:44,010 --> 00:11:45,309
I love decorating the tree.

332
00:11:45,311 --> 00:11:47,111
I don't know why
I ever thought this was lame.

333
00:11:47,113 --> 00:11:48,679
- It's great. [Chuckles]
- Aww.

334
00:11:48,681 --> 00:11:51,782
Well, you were a teenager,
and teenagers do dumb things.

335
00:11:51,784 --> 00:11:54,781
Yeah, well, even people over 21
do dumb things.

336
00:11:54,783 --> 00:11:55,519
[Chuckling] Tell me about it.

337
00:11:55,521 --> 00:11:57,087
Like the time I bought the glue-on nails

338
00:11:57,089 --> 00:11:58,155
at the gas station.

339
00:11:58,157 --> 00:11:59,890
Luckily, the numbness
stopped at the elbows.

340
00:11:59,892 --> 00:12:01,525
[Laughing] Oh, right.

341
00:12:02,927 --> 00:12:04,728
Hey, Sue, come on! Look at the tree!

342
00:12:04,730 --> 00:12:07,331
[Laughs nervously] Oh, it's amazing!

343
00:12:07,333 --> 00:12:09,633
You two must be really proud of
everything you've accomplished

344
00:12:09,635 --> 00:12:10,968
what with all the other things

345
00:12:10,970 --> 00:12:12,495
that need to get done around here.

346
00:12:13,172 --> 00:12:14,938
Well, you've got to come around
and look at the whole thing.

347
00:12:14,940 --> 00:12:16,907
No, no, no. I-I can picture it.

348
00:12:16,909 --> 00:12:18,642
[Laughs nervously] I am just glad

349
00:12:18,644 --> 00:12:21,545
everyone is having
a very merry Christmas.

350
00:12:21,547 --> 00:12:23,580
Nobody's having heartburn,

351
00:12:23,582 --> 00:12:25,282
no random vomiting

352
00:12:25,284 --> 00:12:26,917
or twisting your hair till it
falls right out of your head.

353
00:12:26,919 --> 00:12:28,786
[Laughs] That is awesome!

354
00:12:28,788 --> 00:12:31,789
I am thrilled that you two

355
00:12:31,791 --> 00:12:34,024
are free to enjoy
the wonders of the season.

356
00:12:34,026 --> 00:12:35,192
[Chuckles]

357
00:12:37,262 --> 00:12:38,595
[Sighs]

358
00:12:38,597 --> 00:12:40,331
- Hmm.
- Still a teenager.

359
00:12:40,333 --> 00:12:42,433
[Chuckles nervously]

360
00:12:42,435 --> 00:12:43,667
[Rapid knocking on door]

361
00:12:44,602 --> 00:12:46,470
- [Whispering] Code blue! Code blue!
- [Children shouting]

362
00:12:46,472 --> 00:12:48,605
- Gracie: Try the door!
- [Door opens]

363
00:12:48,607 --> 00:12:50,007
- Hi, Brick!
- Let's make a fort!

364
00:12:50,009 --> 00:12:51,308
Gracie: Let's go through your stuff!

365
00:12:51,310 --> 00:12:53,510
Children: Yay!

366
00:12:53,512 --> 00:12:55,746
[Children shouting]

367
00:12:57,415 --> 00:12:58,515
Knock, knock.

368
00:12:58,517 --> 00:13:00,851
[Gasps] Oh, Sue. Were you praying?

369
00:13:00,853 --> 00:13:02,019
No. No.

370
00:13:02,021 --> 00:13:03,787
I'm just looking for something
under my bed.

371
00:13:03,789 --> 00:13:04,955
Nope, not there.

372
00:13:04,957 --> 00:13:07,598
Hey, um, can I talk to you for a minute?

373
00:13:08,127 --> 00:13:09,574
Sure.

374
00:13:10,162 --> 00:13:12,275
Hey, is that poster crooked?

375
00:13:12,698 --> 00:13:15,444
[Sighs] Sue, honey...

376
00:13:15,835 --> 00:13:17,368
I know what's going on here.

377
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:18,669
- You do?
- Yeah.

378
00:13:18,671 --> 00:13:20,003
Don't worry.

379
00:13:20,005 --> 00:13:21,438
It's perfectly natural

380
00:13:21,440 --> 00:13:23,688
for you to be jealous of your brother.

381
00:13:24,310 --> 00:13:26,877
I know I've been spending
a lot of time with Axl,

382
00:13:26,879 --> 00:13:29,346
but it's only because
our relationship was so strained

383
00:13:29,348 --> 00:13:30,981
and we are both so happy to be able

384
00:13:30,983 --> 00:13:32,082
to put that all behind us.

385
00:13:32,084 --> 00:13:33,250
[Laughs nervously]

386
00:13:33,252 --> 00:13:35,919
Sue, would you look at me
when I'm talking to you?

387
00:13:35,921 --> 00:13:37,221
I thought I was.

388
00:13:37,223 --> 00:13:39,189
Look, the point is, no matter what,

389
00:13:39,191 --> 00:13:41,558
you're my only daughter,

390
00:13:41,560 --> 00:13:44,628
and we will always share
a very special bond.

391
00:13:44,630 --> 00:13:47,931
Axl: Mom! The reindeer cookies
are ready for frosting!

392
00:13:47,933 --> 00:13:49,099
Axl needs me.

393
00:13:50,268 --> 00:13:51,402
Coming!

394
00:13:51,404 --> 00:13:52,903
Ugh! Ohh.

395
00:13:52,905 --> 00:13:55,172
<i>So, in order to get away
from the Peterson kids,</i>

396
00:13:55,174 --> 00:13:57,641
<i>Brick took refuge at the library.</i>

397
00:13:57,643 --> 00:13:59,943
<i>- The tricky part was coming back home.
- [Children shouting]</i>

398
00:13:59,945 --> 00:14:01,478
Oh, no.

399
00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:04,148
[Shouting continues]

400
00:14:04,150 --> 00:14:06,683
♪

401
00:14:08,386 --> 00:14:09,653
Oh, sorry.

402
00:14:09,655 --> 00:14:12,089
[Gasps] Wait. Were you
trying on the sunglasses?

403
00:14:12,091 --> 00:14:13,457
- No.
- Yes, you were.

404
00:14:13,459 --> 00:14:14,625
Put them back on so I can see.

405
00:14:14,627 --> 00:14:15,859
Eh, that's okay.

406
00:14:15,861 --> 00:14:18,262
Come on. I had to pick
that weird thing off your back.

407
00:14:18,264 --> 00:14:20,063
We have no secrets.

408
00:14:20,065 --> 00:14:21,632
[Sighs]

409
00:14:21,634 --> 00:14:24,234
[Gasps] Ooh, I like them.

410
00:14:24,236 --> 00:14:27,171
- They make you look like a sexy cop.
- Oh, really?

411
00:14:27,173 --> 00:14:29,206
'Cause I was thinking more
of an Italian racecar driver.

412
00:14:29,208 --> 00:14:31,275
Mm-hmm. Or maybe an airline pilot.

413
00:14:31,277 --> 00:14:33,811
How long is your layover, Captain Heck?

414
00:14:33,813 --> 00:14:36,346
Wow, I can't believe you've
never worn sunglasses before.

415
00:14:36,348 --> 00:14:37,581
You look great in them.

416
00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:39,917
I know. It sucks.
I <i>do</i> look great in them.

417
00:14:39,919 --> 00:14:42,052
This whole thing is pissing me off.

418
00:14:42,054 --> 00:14:44,455
Bill got me the best gift. He nailed it.

419
00:14:44,457 --> 00:14:45,789
Now I got to do something just as good

420
00:14:45,791 --> 00:14:47,024
or I look like a jerk.

421
00:14:47,026 --> 00:14:49,159
[Sighs] What are you gonna do?

422
00:14:49,161 --> 00:14:52,629
I don't know! I saw this
dispenser thing for a shower.

423
00:14:52,631 --> 00:14:53,864
It's got compartments

424
00:14:53,866 --> 00:14:55,933
for shampoo, conditioner, and body wash.

425
00:14:55,935 --> 00:14:57,201
I don't know, but Bill seems like

426
00:14:57,203 --> 00:14:59,303
he might be a body wash go... Damn it!

427
00:14:59,305 --> 00:15:00,904
I've never said "body wash" in my life,

428
00:15:00,906 --> 00:15:02,105
and now I've said it twice.

429
00:15:02,107 --> 00:15:04,141
This ends now.

430
00:15:04,143 --> 00:15:05,108
[Sighs]

431
00:15:05,110 --> 00:15:06,944
[Sighs]

432
00:15:06,946 --> 00:15:08,612
How much were they?

433
00:15:08,614 --> 00:15:10,147
- What?
- The sunglasses.

434
00:15:10,149 --> 00:15:11,482
I tried to get you a good present,

435
00:15:11,484 --> 00:15:13,283
I couldn't find anything,
so I'm just gonna give you cash.

436
00:15:13,285 --> 00:15:15,085
- How much?
- No, Mike, they were a present.

437
00:15:15,087 --> 00:15:17,654
- You don't have to...
- Let's not belabor it, okay?

438
00:15:17,656 --> 00:15:19,490
How much?

439
00:15:19,492 --> 00:15:21,458
- 42 bucks.
- That include tax?

440
00:15:21,460 --> 00:15:22,960
[Scoffs] Really, Mike?

441
00:15:22,962 --> 00:15:23,861
Yeah, really.

442
00:15:23,863 --> 00:15:24,962
Just give me the grand total

443
00:15:24,964 --> 00:15:26,841
and this whole nightmare can be over.

444
00:15:27,733 --> 00:15:29,399
[Exhales deeply] $42.50.

445
00:15:29,401 --> 00:15:31,134
No, $44.32.

446
00:15:31,136 --> 00:15:32,503
Okay.

447
00:15:32,505 --> 00:15:35,105
$45. Keep the change.

448
00:15:36,608 --> 00:15:38,175
[Scoffs]

449
00:15:38,177 --> 00:15:40,110
["Deck the Halls" plays]

450
00:15:40,112 --> 00:15:43,080
Hey, Mike, you never told me...

451
00:15:43,082 --> 00:15:44,314
do you like them?

452
00:15:45,817 --> 00:15:47,484
I love 'em.

453
00:15:47,486 --> 00:15:48,819
[Engine starts]

454
00:15:53,691 --> 00:15:56,126
<i>Just when I thought Christmas
couldn't get any better,</i>

455
00:15:56,128 --> 00:15:58,962
<i>out of the blue,
Axl suggested we drive around</i>

456
00:15:58,964 --> 00:16:01,231
<i>and see the Christmas lights
in Orson Heights.</i>

457
00:16:01,233 --> 00:16:03,433
<i>We hadn't done that
since the kids were little.</i>

458
00:16:03,435 --> 00:16:05,469
<i>I was beside myself.</i>

459
00:16:05,471 --> 00:16:07,004
Mom, look at the penguins

460
00:16:07,006 --> 00:16:09,273
- on that Ferris wheel!
- Oh, I love that.

461
00:16:09,275 --> 00:16:10,974
We should try to do something
like that next year.

462
00:16:10,976 --> 00:16:12,109
Yeah, we're not doing that.

463
00:16:12,111 --> 00:16:13,710
Oh, and look at those reindeer!

464
00:16:13,712 --> 00:16:15,746
They've got their heads moving
like they're grazing!

465
00:16:15,748 --> 00:16:16,914
We're not doing that.

466
00:16:16,916 --> 00:16:18,916
Now, those people
have the Colts logo lit up.

467
00:16:18,918 --> 00:16:20,551
<i>- That</i> we can do.
- [Chuckling] Yeah.

468
00:16:20,553 --> 00:16:23,320
Well, this is nice...
everybody in the car, together.

469
00:16:23,322 --> 00:16:24,488
How about we play a game?

470
00:16:24,490 --> 00:16:26,990
We'll call it "What's new in your life?"

471
00:16:26,992 --> 00:16:29,426
I reversed my reversible comforter.

472
00:16:29,428 --> 00:16:30,594
Next.

473
00:16:30,596 --> 00:16:31,461
I got new sunglasses.

474
00:16:31,463 --> 00:16:32,529
Dad, it's not your turn.

475
00:16:32,531 --> 00:16:34,031
Any recent changes in your life, Axl?

476
00:16:34,033 --> 00:16:36,033
I have a newfound appreciation

477
00:16:36,035 --> 00:16:38,502
- for the holidays and my mother.
- [Cellphone chimes]

478
00:16:40,605 --> 00:16:41,638
Oh, no.

479
00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:42,873
Gracie Peterson texted me

480
00:16:42,875 --> 00:16:44,508
asking me what time we'll be home.

481
00:16:44,510 --> 00:16:46,109
That's it. We got to move.

482
00:16:46,111 --> 00:16:48,812
Come on, Brick.
They like you, and they're cute.

483
00:16:48,814 --> 00:16:50,847
They're cute until
they won't leave you alone.

484
00:16:50,849 --> 00:16:52,516
I was in the snowbank for five hours

485
00:16:52,518 --> 00:16:54,551
and got frostbite
on my page-turning finger.

486
00:16:54,553 --> 00:16:55,986
Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah,
whatever, whatever.

487
00:16:55,988 --> 00:16:57,454
Okay, new game.

488
00:16:57,456 --> 00:16:59,690
Everyone say something nobody else knows

489
00:16:59,692 --> 00:17:00,958
that you feel bad about

490
00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,410
but you'll feel better after you say it.

491
00:17:03,629 --> 00:17:05,295
I used Dad's toothbrush.

492
00:17:05,297 --> 00:17:06,196
What?

493
00:17:06,198 --> 00:17:08,031
Not in my mouth.

494
00:17:08,033 --> 00:17:09,032
Boy, that's a load off.

495
00:17:09,034 --> 00:17:10,934
Not your turn! Axl!

496
00:17:10,936 --> 00:17:12,269
Can't think of a thing.

497
00:17:12,271 --> 00:17:13,704
Okay, I got one. [Laughs]

498
00:17:13,706 --> 00:17:15,706
When there were free refills,
I got root beer

499
00:17:15,708 --> 00:17:17,474
even though my original pop was orange.

500
00:17:17,476 --> 00:17:19,242
Axl, did you think of anything?
Anything at all?

501
00:17:19,244 --> 00:17:20,978
I don't like this game, Sue.

502
00:17:20,980 --> 00:17:22,579
Well, we can play something else.

503
00:17:22,581 --> 00:17:24,247
[Whispering] I'm not married to it.

504
00:17:24,249 --> 00:17:25,716
Frankie: You know what?

505
00:17:25,718 --> 00:17:28,085
I've just got to to say,
with my family all together,

506
00:17:28,087 --> 00:17:31,388
I'm just so filled
with a sense of joy and peace.

507
00:17:31,390 --> 00:17:33,724
This may be the best Christmas ever.

508
00:17:33,726 --> 00:17:34,658
[Laughs nervously]

509
00:17:34,660 --> 00:17:35,792
- [Cellphone rings]
- Oh, no!

510
00:17:35,794 --> 00:17:38,128
If that's Gracie, tell her I'm not here.

511
00:17:38,130 --> 00:17:40,163
Hello?

512
00:17:40,165 --> 00:17:41,999
Oh, hi!

513
00:17:42,001 --> 00:17:45,102
Uh-huh. Uh-huh.

514
00:17:45,104 --> 00:17:46,970
I did not know that.

515
00:17:46,972 --> 00:17:48,905
Yeah, of course we'll be there.

516
00:17:48,907 --> 00:17:51,642
Thank you. Merry Christmas to you, too.

517
00:17:51,644 --> 00:17:52,843
[Cellphone clicks]

518
00:17:52,845 --> 00:17:54,378
- You got married?!
- Whoa.

519
00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:55,946
- You idiot!
- Wait. What?!

520
00:17:55,948 --> 00:17:57,514
- Uh-oh.
- He married her, Mike.

521
00:17:57,516 --> 00:17:58,882
He married April!

522
00:17:58,884 --> 00:17:59,950
- Yeah.
- Damn it, Axl!

523
00:17:59,952 --> 00:18:01,284
- Ow!
- I am gonna kill you!

524
00:18:01,286 --> 00:18:02,386
- That was April's mom on the phone.
- Stop, please, ow.

525
00:18:02,388 --> 00:18:03,754
- Stop her!
- I had to hear it from her!

526
00:18:03,756 --> 00:18:05,255
Oh, God, oh, God, oh, God,
oh, God, oh, God, oh, God!

527
00:18:05,257 --> 00:18:06,923
- Oh, God, oh, God!
- [Car horn blaring]

528
00:18:06,925 --> 00:18:08,659
What the hell were you thinking?!

529
00:18:08,661 --> 00:18:10,460
I wasn't thinking...
you should know that!

530
00:18:10,462 --> 00:18:11,728
I'm very vulnerable!

531
00:18:11,730 --> 00:18:14,398
Well, I sent you that dirty
carrot, and you ignored it!

532
00:18:14,400 --> 00:18:17,000
Hey, hold on! Hold on, hold on.

533
00:18:17,002 --> 00:18:18,502
Did you have to marry her?

534
00:18:18,504 --> 00:18:20,737
- No.
- That makes it worse!

535
00:18:20,739 --> 00:18:21,838
- [Grunts]
- Hey!

536
00:18:21,840 --> 00:18:23,440
Sue: I told him to tell you!

537
00:18:23,442 --> 00:18:26,043
I was the only one who knew!
It was killing me!

538
00:18:26,045 --> 00:18:29,646
I stress-chewed my cheeks
till they're hamburger!

539
00:18:30,114 --> 00:18:31,615
Mike: No! You get away
from those Wise Men!

540
00:18:31,617 --> 00:18:33,750
You've got no business
being around Wise Men.

541
00:18:33,752 --> 00:18:34,951
I wanted to tell you guys,

542
00:18:34,953 --> 00:18:36,520
but I didn't want
to ruin your Christmas.

543
00:18:36,522 --> 00:18:37,888
That ship has sailed.

544
00:18:37,890 --> 00:18:39,556
Frankie: I can't believe you did this!

545
00:18:39,558 --> 00:18:41,258
You got married
and you didn't even tell me?

546
00:18:41,260 --> 00:18:42,659
You didn't even invite me!

547
00:18:42,661 --> 00:18:44,628
I know I would've been stuck
wearing a stupid yellow dress

548
00:18:44,630 --> 00:18:46,363
'cause that's what
always happens to boy moms.

549
00:18:46,365 --> 00:18:47,998
We always are the last to find out!

550
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:50,467
But I didn't think I would be
the <i>very</i> last to find out!

551
00:18:50,469 --> 00:18:52,803
Okay, if you'll just let me
talk, I can explain.

552
00:18:52,805 --> 00:18:54,271
Great. Talk.

553
00:18:54,872 --> 00:18:56,406
I... Uunnngh!

554
00:18:56,408 --> 00:18:57,641
Get him, Brick!

555
00:18:57,643 --> 00:18:59,409
[Rock version of
"The Little Drummer Boy" plays]

556
00:18:59,411 --> 00:19:00,477
Frankie: Sue!

557
00:19:01,279 --> 00:19:02,679
Oh, gee!

558
00:19:02,681 --> 00:19:04,381
[Gasps] Mike: [Laughs]

559
00:19:04,383 --> 00:19:06,283
- Where you going, Axl, huh, huh?
- Get up, fool.

560
00:19:06,285 --> 00:19:08,719
- Sue: I told him to tell you!
- No, please, listen, I can explain!

561
00:19:08,721 --> 00:19:11,888
You kids are not going over
to that boy's house ever again.

562
00:19:11,890 --> 00:19:13,623
- Hey, come on!
- [Indistinct shouting]

563
00:19:16,448 --> 00:19:18,114
[Sighs] All right.

564
00:19:18,139 --> 00:19:20,239
So, what do you want to do, Axl?

565
00:19:20,241 --> 00:19:22,074
- I don't know.
- What do you mean you don't know?

566
00:19:22,076 --> 00:19:23,342
Do you love April?

567
00:19:23,344 --> 00:19:24,744
Yeah, I love her.

568
00:19:24,746 --> 00:19:27,046
I just don't know if I wife love her.

569
00:19:27,048 --> 00:19:28,848
Well, if you don't love her now,

570
00:19:28,850 --> 00:19:31,484
there is no way in hell
you're gonna love her later.

571
00:19:31,486 --> 00:19:33,181
[Sighs] Look, I'm just dumb, all right?

572
00:19:33,183 --> 00:19:34,153
I'm really dumb.

573
00:19:34,155 --> 00:19:35,488
I got swept up in the moment,

574
00:19:35,490 --> 00:19:37,823
but I am still in college...
I've got to graduate.

575
00:19:37,825 --> 00:19:39,725
I mean, April picks up
golf balls for a living,

576
00:19:39,727 --> 00:19:40,993
and my house is a Winnebago.

577
00:19:40,995 --> 00:19:42,461
[Chuckling] Oh, God.

578
00:19:42,463 --> 00:19:44,430
I'm starting to think
I did not think this through.

579
00:19:44,432 --> 00:19:46,532
But, on the other hand,
she is kind of amazing.

580
00:19:46,534 --> 00:19:48,334
I mean, she makes me laugh,
and she looks like...

581
00:19:48,336 --> 00:19:51,103
well, you've seen her...
an angel, right?

582
00:19:51,105 --> 00:19:53,206
Oh, God, I don't know! I don't know.

583
00:19:53,208 --> 00:19:55,775
I just... I need you guys
to tell me what to do.

584
00:19:55,777 --> 00:19:57,710
[Sighs] I'd say that if you
need to ask your parents

585
00:19:57,712 --> 00:19:59,011
if you should be married,

586
00:19:59,013 --> 00:20:00,546
you probably shouldn't be married.

587
00:20:01,682 --> 00:20:03,816
Okay, I've researched
grounds for annulment

588
00:20:03,818 --> 00:20:05,184
in the state of Indiana.

589
00:20:05,186 --> 00:20:09,455
There's not being of legal age,
suspicion of fraud,

590
00:20:09,457 --> 00:20:11,657
if one or both of the parties
are mentally unstable...

591
00:20:11,659 --> 00:20:12,858
- Bingo!
- That one.

592
00:20:12,860 --> 00:20:14,327
["Deck the Halls" plays]

593
00:20:17,397 --> 00:20:18,731
I'm gonna kill her.

594
00:20:18,733 --> 00:20:20,132
She's such an idiot.

595
00:20:20,134 --> 00:20:23,035
He's got her beat
at being an idiot all day long.

596
00:20:23,037 --> 00:20:24,203
But we love Axl.

597
00:20:24,205 --> 00:20:27,139
Oh, and we love April. She's a delight.

598
00:20:27,808 --> 00:20:29,875
Okay, done.

599
00:20:29,877 --> 00:20:33,279
Well, I seem to find myself
recently single.

600
00:20:33,281 --> 00:20:35,815
You want to maybe, uh, go on a date?

601
00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:38,451
You know, grab a slice of pizza
or something?

602
00:20:38,453 --> 00:20:39,752
I do.

603
00:20:39,754 --> 00:20:42,521
I mean, I'd like that. [Laughs]

604
00:20:44,758 --> 00:20:46,158
<i>So, that Christmas,</i>

605
00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,194
<i>instead of getting Axl
a new transmission,</i>

606
00:20:48,196 --> 00:20:50,229
<i>we got him an annulment.</i>

607
00:20:50,231 --> 00:20:52,498
<i>Sue got her family back,</i>

608
00:20:52,500 --> 00:20:54,500
<i>Brick got a little peace,</i>

609
00:20:54,502 --> 00:20:57,837
<i>and I got pulled over by a cop...</i>

610
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,171
<i>if you know what I mean.</i>

611
00:20:59,173 --> 00:21:00,740
[Door locks]

612
00:21:00,742 --> 00:21:04,443
["We Wish You a Merry Christmas" plays]

613
00:21:04,510 --> 00:21:10,390
_

614
00:21:10,817 --> 00:21:17,633
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com

