1 00:00:01,501 --> 00:00:03,179 Previously on The Big Bang Theory... 2 00:00:03,254 --> 00:00:04,114 Hey, Stuart. 3 00:00:04,115 --> 00:00:04,877 What are you doing here? 4 00:00:04,901 --> 00:00:06,583 Oh, I'm living here again. 5 00:00:06,584 --> 00:00:09,885 Do, uh, Howard and Bernadette know? 6 00:00:09,887 --> 00:00:13,422 Or is it like a possum in the walls kind of thing? 7 00:00:14,258 --> 00:00:17,059 No. I needed a place to stay, 8 00:00:17,061 --> 00:00:18,293 and with the baby coming, 9 00:00:18,295 --> 00:00:20,262 I figured they could use some extra help. 10 00:00:20,264 --> 00:00:22,598 Hey, tomorrow, who wants to paint the nursery? 11 00:00:22,600 --> 00:00:23,628 I'll do it. 12 00:00:23,629 --> 00:00:25,433 Why do you get to do it? I'm the artist. 13 00:00:25,703 --> 00:00:28,704 Just because you're starving doesn't make you an artist. 14 00:00:28,706 --> 00:00:32,040 Just because I look sickly doesn't mean I'm starving. 15 00:00:32,042 --> 00:00:34,176 BERNADETTE: Howard? 16 00:00:34,178 --> 00:00:36,345 I think I'm in labor. 17 00:00:36,347 --> 00:00:38,313 Oh. Oh, okay. Okay. 18 00:00:38,315 --> 00:00:40,215 Uh, uh, uh, I can do this. 19 00:00:40,217 --> 00:00:41,650 We have a plan. 20 00:00:41,652 --> 00:00:43,518 Somebody please tell me the plan! 21 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,053 I'll get the hospital bag. 22 00:00:45,055 --> 00:00:45,765 I'll pull the van up. 23 00:00:45,789 --> 00:00:46,890 Meet you outside in two minutes. 24 00:00:46,891 --> 00:00:49,358 Team Baby, go! (grunting) 25 00:00:52,263 --> 00:00:53,829 WOLOWITZ: Oh, man. 26 00:00:53,831 --> 00:00:55,297 This is really happening. 27 00:00:55,299 --> 00:00:56,999 You doin' okay? 28 00:00:57,001 --> 00:00:58,600 Here comes another contraction. 29 00:00:58,602 --> 00:00:59,968 Let's pick it up! 30 00:00:59,970 --> 00:01:01,436 All right, hold on. 31 00:01:01,438 --> 00:01:03,272 I'm gonna drive like we do in India. 32 00:01:03,274 --> 00:01:07,943 (horn honking) Get out of my way, you syphilitic dogs! 33 00:01:09,313 --> 00:01:11,040 Stop that! This isn't India. 34 00:01:11,064 --> 00:01:11,981 Fine. 35 00:01:11,982 --> 00:01:16,885 What do one point three billion people know about having babies? 36 00:01:16,887 --> 00:01:19,388 Sorry. I know you were just trying to help. 37 00:01:20,090 --> 00:01:21,356 I love you. 38 00:01:21,358 --> 00:01:23,992 I love you, too. We're good. 39 00:01:23,994 --> 00:01:27,629 ♪ Our whole universe was in a hot, dense state ♪ 40 00:01:27,631 --> 00:01:30,966 ♪ Then nearly 14 billion years ago expansion started... Wait! ♪ 41 00:01:30,968 --> 00:01:32,601 ♪ The Earth began to cool ♪ 42 00:01:32,603 --> 00:01:35,170 ♪ The autotrophs began to drool, Neanderthals developed tools ♪ 43 00:01:35,172 --> 00:01:37,806 ♪ We built the Wall ♪ ♪ We built the pyramids ♪ 44 00:01:37,808 --> 00:01:40,475 ♪ Math, Science, History, unraveling the mystery ♪ 45 00:01:40,477 --> 00:01:42,377 ♪ That all started with a big bang ♪ 46 00:01:42,379 --> 00:01:43,633 ♪ Bang! ♪ 47 00:01:43,634 --> 00:01:47,634 ♪ The Big Bang Theory 10x11 ♪ The Birthday Synchronicity Original Air D 48 00:01:47,635 --> 00:01:54,435 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man 49 00:01:54,936 --> 00:01:56,896 Amy? 50 00:01:56,897 --> 00:01:58,797 Wake up. 51 00:01:58,799 --> 00:02:01,499 Wh... What's wrong? 52 00:02:01,501 --> 00:02:03,268 It's midnight. 53 00:02:03,270 --> 00:02:04,769 Happy birthday. 54 00:02:04,771 --> 00:02:07,972 Sheldon. 55 00:02:09,810 --> 00:02:12,277 (loud honking) 56 00:02:12,279 --> 00:02:17,182 Okay, you can have this back in the morning. 57 00:02:17,184 --> 00:02:20,151 This is for you. 58 00:02:20,153 --> 00:02:21,519 I was going to wrap it, 59 00:02:21,521 --> 00:02:24,389 but touching Scotch tape gives me the heebie-jeebies. 60 00:02:24,391 --> 00:02:27,859 I'll put in on the list with peaches and felt. 61 00:02:29,529 --> 00:02:31,596 What is this? 62 00:02:31,598 --> 00:02:35,066 A functional MRI of my brain. 63 00:02:35,068 --> 00:02:39,137 I did Sudoku before they took it so I'd be ripped. 64 00:02:39,139 --> 00:02:42,173 I love it. Thank you. 65 00:02:42,175 --> 00:02:43,475 And it's not just an MRI. 66 00:02:43,477 --> 00:02:45,043 The orbitofrontal cortex is lit up 67 00:02:45,045 --> 00:02:47,245 because I was thinking of you. 68 00:02:47,247 --> 00:02:49,681 Sheldon! 69 00:02:53,253 --> 00:02:56,387 We seem to be moving on to the annual coitus portion 70 00:02:56,389 --> 00:02:57,989 of your birthday festivities. 71 00:02:57,991 --> 00:03:00,191 Is that okay? 72 00:03:00,193 --> 00:03:03,027 I didn't put on my come-hither plaid PJ's for nothing. 73 00:03:05,031 --> 00:03:07,398 You hate Scotch tape, but you love Scotch plaid. 74 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,767 You are a mystery. 75 00:03:17,210 --> 00:03:18,776 (loud knocking) PENNY: Guys, wake up! 76 00:03:18,778 --> 00:03:20,545 Bernadette's having her baby! 77 00:03:20,547 --> 00:03:22,413 LEONARD: Come on, we're going to the hospital! 78 00:03:22,415 --> 00:03:24,449 (quietly): I guess... I guess we should stop. 79 00:03:24,451 --> 00:03:26,384 Yeah. I'm afraid so. 80 00:03:28,155 --> 00:03:30,555 Childbirth, looming coitus? 81 00:03:30,557 --> 00:03:33,224 This is a banner night for female genitals. 82 00:03:35,896 --> 00:03:37,862 Now I see three of you. 83 00:03:37,864 --> 00:03:41,599 Do we know the father, or is this some Mamma Mia nonsense? 84 00:03:41,601 --> 00:03:44,102 I'm the father. 85 00:03:44,104 --> 00:03:46,905 Okay, Dad, how far apart are the contractions? 86 00:03:46,907 --> 00:03:49,774 No idea. Ask him. 87 00:03:49,776 --> 00:03:51,476 12 minutes. 88 00:03:51,478 --> 00:03:53,711 12 minutes? Why are you here? 89 00:03:53,713 --> 00:03:56,114 Aren't we supposed to get here an hour and a half early? 90 00:03:56,116 --> 00:03:59,250 This is a hospital, not the airport. 91 00:04:00,187 --> 00:04:02,387 I'm sorry. It's our first time. 92 00:04:02,389 --> 00:04:03,521 It's okay. 93 00:04:03,523 --> 00:04:05,723 This little one will be here before you know it. 94 00:04:05,725 --> 00:04:07,592 Do we know what we're having? 95 00:04:07,594 --> 00:04:09,160 No, we're keeping it a surprise. 96 00:04:09,162 --> 00:04:11,262 Old school. Nice. 97 00:04:11,264 --> 00:04:14,265 Not that old school. He knows. 98 00:04:14,267 --> 00:04:18,136 (sing-songy): You see, I was at the doctor's office, 99 00:04:18,138 --> 00:04:21,306 the folder was right there, so I took a peek. 100 00:04:21,308 --> 00:04:23,541 (imitating Koothrappali): And talking like this 101 00:04:23,543 --> 00:04:26,678 doesn't make it less creepy. 102 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:27,946 Sweetheart, go home. 103 00:04:27,948 --> 00:04:29,414 Come back when the contractions 104 00:04:29,416 --> 00:04:31,115 are five minutes apart for an hour. 105 00:04:31,117 --> 00:04:32,317 KOOTHRAPPALI: I'm sorry. 106 00:04:32,319 --> 00:04:33,551 That's ambiguous. 107 00:04:33,553 --> 00:04:35,987 Is it five minutes apart starting at the top of the hour, 108 00:04:35,989 --> 00:04:37,288 or five minutes apart starting 109 00:04:37,290 --> 00:04:41,392 with the first contraction, so essentially, like, 65 minutes? 110 00:04:41,394 --> 00:04:44,329 I'm just throwing this out there, 111 00:04:44,331 --> 00:04:47,732 but home births are very popular these days. 112 00:04:50,637 --> 00:04:52,804 Sheldon, what took you so long? 113 00:04:52,806 --> 00:04:54,405 Wolowitz might hand out cigars. 114 00:04:54,407 --> 00:04:56,074 I had to find my bubble gum 115 00:04:56,076 --> 00:04:59,544 cigar so I could join in without looking foolish. 116 00:04:59,546 --> 00:05:01,713 Damn, I need my inhaler. 117 00:05:01,715 --> 00:05:02,880 Just don't smoke. 118 00:05:02,882 --> 00:05:04,782 No, I went down the stairs too fast. 119 00:05:04,784 --> 00:05:06,251 (ringtone playing) 120 00:05:06,253 --> 00:05:07,685 Hey. 121 00:05:07,687 --> 00:05:09,754 Don't come to the hospital. We're headed home. 122 00:05:09,756 --> 00:05:12,156 Oh, that was fast. Did she sneeze the baby out? 123 00:05:12,158 --> 00:05:15,260 We showed up too early. We'll keep you posted. 124 00:05:15,262 --> 00:05:16,861 Okay, well, we'll 125 00:05:16,863 --> 00:05:18,263 talk to you guys later. Bye. 126 00:05:18,265 --> 00:05:21,065 She said not to come. It's gonna be a while. 127 00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:23,701 (sighs) Well, first deliveries can be slow. 128 00:05:23,703 --> 00:05:27,338 I am starting to rethink the Flash onesie I bought this kid. 129 00:05:28,008 --> 00:05:30,275 I found it, but it's empty. 130 00:05:30,277 --> 00:05:32,277 Well, it doesn't matter. We're not going to the hospital now. 131 00:05:32,279 --> 00:05:34,879 Are you sure? I'd really like to. 132 00:05:35,715 --> 00:05:39,183 Well, should we, uh, head back up? 133 00:05:39,185 --> 00:05:41,352 PENNY: Come on, guys. 134 00:05:41,354 --> 00:05:43,554 We're all awake. Why don't we go to a diner or something? 135 00:05:43,556 --> 00:05:45,189 Oh, uh, I don't know. 136 00:05:45,191 --> 00:05:48,760 Sheldon, you don't want to do that, do you? 137 00:05:48,762 --> 00:05:50,094 It doesn't matter what I want. 138 00:05:50,096 --> 00:05:52,463 It's your birthday. You decide. PENNY: Oh, my God! 139 00:05:52,465 --> 00:05:54,732 It's your birthday! Let's do something fun. 140 00:05:54,734 --> 00:05:55,767 - Uh... - Well, 141 00:05:55,769 --> 00:05:56,601 we could go to a bar. 142 00:05:56,603 --> 00:05:59,103 Well... 143 00:05:59,105 --> 00:06:01,873 Okay, I can breathe again. Babe, they want to have sex. 144 00:06:01,875 --> 00:06:03,708 PENNY: Oh, of course! 145 00:06:03,710 --> 00:06:07,745 The annual birthday booty spectacular! 146 00:06:07,747 --> 00:06:09,580 That's a bit childish, isn't it? 147 00:06:09,582 --> 00:06:12,684 I'm sorry, and what flavor is your bubble gum cigar? 148 00:06:12,686 --> 00:06:17,722 Grape. I find it the most mild. 149 00:06:17,724 --> 00:06:20,391 All right, well, you two go have fun. 150 00:06:23,663 --> 00:06:27,231 If we find my backup inhaler, maybe we can get frisky. 151 00:06:27,233 --> 00:06:30,968 Oh, you sexy, wheezy little man. 152 00:06:33,573 --> 00:06:35,373 Do you really need to record this? 153 00:06:35,375 --> 00:06:38,009 KOOTHRAPPALI: You'll be happy I did. 154 00:06:38,011 --> 00:06:41,713 (sing-songy): Okay, little one, here we are back at home 155 00:06:41,715 --> 00:06:43,848 because you weren't quite ready to come out yet. 156 00:06:43,850 --> 00:06:47,085 You wanted to make an entrance. I get it. 157 00:06:48,988 --> 00:06:52,190 And here's your daddy. 158 00:06:52,192 --> 00:06:54,892 When he tries to tell you he used to be cool, 159 00:06:54,894 --> 00:06:57,462 you can see he wasn't. 160 00:06:59,833 --> 00:07:01,999 All right, enough with the camera. 161 00:07:02,001 --> 00:07:04,135 Well, this is not for me. This is for the baby. 162 00:07:04,137 --> 00:07:06,170 Some day she's gonna want to see this. 163 00:07:06,172 --> 00:07:08,106 I'm sorry. 164 00:07:08,108 --> 00:07:10,441 Who's gonna want to see this? 165 00:07:11,478 --> 00:07:16,381 I... I said “she,” but lots of things are she-- 166 00:07:16,383 --> 00:07:17,615 boats 167 00:07:17,617 --> 00:07:18,783 and cars, 168 00:07:18,785 --> 00:07:21,652 whales. Like, “Thar she blows.” 169 00:07:23,590 --> 00:07:25,189 You're doing great. 170 00:07:26,059 --> 00:07:27,925 Raj! 171 00:07:27,927 --> 00:07:29,494 Well, okay, I'm gonna sign off now. 172 00:07:29,496 --> 00:07:31,963 This next part may contain some adult language. 173 00:07:31,965 --> 00:07:33,331 How could you?! 174 00:07:33,333 --> 00:07:35,366 We made it this far without knowing, 175 00:07:35,368 --> 00:07:37,034 and you ruined it! 176 00:07:37,036 --> 00:07:38,636 Well, you guys have no idea how hard it is 177 00:07:38,638 --> 00:07:40,938 to know something like this and not say it! 178 00:07:40,940 --> 00:07:43,408 You told me it was a girl, and I didn't say it. 179 00:07:43,410 --> 00:07:45,076 Raj! You were supposed 180 00:07:45,078 --> 00:07:46,644 to keep that to yourself. 181 00:07:46,646 --> 00:07:51,015 Oh, yeah. I guess it is hard. 182 00:07:53,520 --> 00:07:56,254 So... (laughs) 183 00:07:56,256 --> 00:07:57,955 ...where were we? 184 00:07:57,957 --> 00:07:59,891 Well, I believe 185 00:07:59,893 --> 00:08:02,160 we were kissing like randy teenagers, 186 00:08:02,162 --> 00:08:06,264 and your nose was whistling ever so slightly. 187 00:08:06,266 --> 00:08:09,000 I'm sorry. 188 00:08:09,002 --> 00:08:10,234 Oh, don't be. 189 00:08:10,236 --> 00:08:12,437 You were like a foxy tea kettle. 190 00:08:12,439 --> 00:08:14,705 (laughs) 191 00:08:14,707 --> 00:08:17,175 Well, shall we start over? 192 00:08:17,177 --> 00:08:18,976 Very well. 193 00:08:25,518 --> 00:08:27,084 What's wrong? 194 00:08:27,086 --> 00:08:29,086 I'm not sure. 195 00:08:29,088 --> 00:08:31,389 Earlier tonight, things began organically, 196 00:08:31,391 --> 00:08:33,057 and now it's feeling forced, 197 00:08:33,059 --> 00:08:37,061 like all the Pirates of the Caribbean sequels. 198 00:08:38,898 --> 00:08:40,832 Okay, that makes sense. 199 00:08:40,834 --> 00:08:43,534 I mean, the mood's a little different now. 200 00:08:43,536 --> 00:08:44,936 We-we don't have to rush. 201 00:08:44,938 --> 00:08:47,905 Oh, I know, but Leonard and Penny think we're doing it, 202 00:08:47,907 --> 00:08:50,274 and I don't want to disappoint them. 203 00:08:52,479 --> 00:08:55,546 And the mood continues to change. 204 00:08:55,548 --> 00:08:57,782 No, and also, I don't want to disappoint you. I... 205 00:08:57,784 --> 00:09:00,017 You know, come on. It's your birthday. 206 00:09:00,019 --> 00:09:02,186 I can soldier through this. 207 00:09:03,323 --> 00:09:04,989 H-Hold on. 208 00:09:04,991 --> 00:09:07,492 I think I might have a little surprise 209 00:09:07,494 --> 00:09:12,296 that might help get things back on track. 210 00:09:12,298 --> 00:09:14,398 Intriguing. 211 00:09:14,400 --> 00:09:16,234 Is “back on track” a hint 212 00:09:16,236 --> 00:09:18,202 that it has something to do with trains? 213 00:09:20,473 --> 00:09:22,907 No. 214 00:09:22,909 --> 00:09:25,610 Because if it did have to do with trains, and you were 215 00:09:25,612 --> 00:09:27,545 gonna give... It's not about trains! 216 00:09:27,547 --> 00:09:29,881 Oh. Not even a cozy sleeper car on the Orient Express? 217 00:09:29,883 --> 00:09:32,083 Stop talking about trains! 218 00:09:33,386 --> 00:09:36,387 Who's killing the mood now? 219 00:09:38,424 --> 00:09:40,725 Found the backup inhaler. Want to have sex? 220 00:09:42,729 --> 00:09:45,329 Well, I didn't until I heard that. 221 00:09:45,331 --> 00:09:47,598 Hang on. I'm counting. 222 00:09:48,568 --> 00:09:50,434 It's okay. Mm. 223 00:09:52,272 --> 00:09:53,905 (knocking) 224 00:09:53,907 --> 00:09:55,973 KOOTHRAPPALI (sing-songy): Hello! 225 00:09:55,975 --> 00:09:57,375 Howard and Bernadette kicked me out 226 00:09:57,377 --> 00:09:59,443 because I told them they're having a girl! 227 00:10:00,246 --> 00:10:02,747 (sing-songy): Oopsy, I did it again. 228 00:10:04,784 --> 00:10:07,118 Maybe if we're quiet, he'll go away. 229 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:11,355 (sing-songy): You're gonna have to be quieter than that. 230 00:10:12,559 --> 00:10:13,925 Can I look yet? 231 00:10:13,927 --> 00:10:15,860 One second. 232 00:10:15,862 --> 00:10:18,696 (chuckles) All right, you can open your eyes. 233 00:10:24,637 --> 00:10:26,771 I thought I'd let Harry Potter 234 00:10:26,773 --> 00:10:30,174 make things hotter. (giggles) 235 00:10:32,111 --> 00:10:33,811 Wowza. 236 00:10:35,848 --> 00:10:38,516 I got a Gryffindor robe for you. 237 00:10:38,518 --> 00:10:39,617 (exhales): Oh... 238 00:10:39,619 --> 00:10:42,653 A Gryffindor sleeping with a Hufflepuff? 239 00:10:43,489 --> 00:10:45,456 How scandalous. 240 00:10:48,094 --> 00:10:51,362 You naughty girl. 241 00:10:51,364 --> 00:10:54,365 You went to the Wizarding World theme park without me. 242 00:10:54,367 --> 00:10:56,701 I did. 243 00:10:56,703 --> 00:10:59,036 Am I in trouble? 244 00:11:00,106 --> 00:11:01,238 Yes, you're in trouble-- 245 00:11:01,240 --> 00:11:03,541 you went to Wizarding World without me! 246 00:11:03,543 --> 00:11:05,543 Wait, what just happened? 247 00:11:05,545 --> 00:11:06,711 You know 248 00:11:06,713 --> 00:11:08,579 I've been wanting to go. 249 00:11:08,581 --> 00:11:10,815 (sighs) Sheldon, do you really want to argue with me 250 00:11:10,817 --> 00:11:12,450 on my birthday? 251 00:11:12,452 --> 00:11:14,885 Oh, you're right. 252 00:11:14,887 --> 00:11:16,821 I'm sorry. 253 00:11:18,891 --> 00:11:21,559 Ooh. Happy birthday to me. 254 00:11:24,897 --> 00:11:26,063 (knocking) 255 00:11:26,065 --> 00:11:28,466 KOOTHRAPPALI (sing-songy): Hello... 256 00:11:30,436 --> 00:11:33,104 Is this about the baby? 257 00:11:33,106 --> 00:11:36,073 No. People just keep kicking me out everywhere I go. 258 00:11:36,075 --> 00:11:38,175 Good. Then you're used to this. 259 00:11:39,445 --> 00:11:40,511 Hey, Bernadette's water broke! 260 00:11:40,513 --> 00:11:42,146 Come on! Everyone to the hospital! 261 00:11:42,148 --> 00:11:44,715 AMY: You have got to be kidding me! 262 00:11:53,434 --> 00:11:55,834 Just try to relax. We'll be there any minute. 263 00:11:56,243 --> 00:11:57,811 Stuart, stop driving like an old man. 264 00:11:57,812 --> 00:11:59,311 Speed it up a little. 265 00:11:59,313 --> 00:12:01,047 I'm not an old man! 266 00:12:01,049 --> 00:12:03,215 I just can't see at night. 267 00:12:04,285 --> 00:12:05,951 (groaning): Here comes another one. 268 00:12:05,953 --> 00:12:08,954 Hey, Squinty, the gas pedal's on the right! 269 00:12:08,956 --> 00:12:10,856 All right, hang on. 270 00:12:10,858 --> 00:12:13,659 If you see any pedestrians, just call 'em out. 271 00:12:13,661 --> 00:12:16,162 (engine roaring) 272 00:12:17,365 --> 00:12:20,032 Howard and Bernadette's kid might be born on your birthday. 273 00:12:20,034 --> 00:12:21,367 How cool is that? 274 00:12:21,369 --> 00:12:23,536 Yeah, but I thought this baby was supposed to ruin 275 00:12:23,538 --> 00:12:25,538 their sex life, not mine. 276 00:12:25,540 --> 00:12:27,239 KOOTHRAPPALI: This is not how 277 00:12:27,241 --> 00:12:30,009 I imagined this day going-- I should be with them right now. 278 00:12:30,011 --> 00:12:32,111 Well, it is their child. 279 00:12:32,113 --> 00:12:33,345 I know that. 280 00:12:33,347 --> 00:12:35,247 But to be fair, I've spent nine months 281 00:12:35,249 --> 00:12:37,550 helping Bernadette get ready for this baby. 282 00:12:37,552 --> 00:12:40,352 And Howard spent five minutes conceiving it. 283 00:12:40,354 --> 00:12:42,588 And I'm being generous. 284 00:12:43,624 --> 00:12:45,357 Five minutes? 285 00:12:45,359 --> 00:12:48,394 We must be doing it wrong. It took us hours. 286 00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:53,899 KOOTHRAPPALI: And-and the worst part is 287 00:12:53,901 --> 00:12:57,536 that they kicked me out and let Stuart stay. 288 00:12:57,538 --> 00:13:00,172 I understand, but this is a special day for them. 289 00:13:00,174 --> 00:13:02,308 Can you just try and let it go? 290 00:13:02,310 --> 00:13:03,642 SHELDON: She's right. 291 00:13:03,644 --> 00:13:06,846 You know, I just learned Amy went to a theme park without me, 292 00:13:06,848 --> 00:13:08,714 but I'm not going to ruin her birthday. 293 00:13:08,716 --> 00:13:11,517 I'll wait, and ruin 24 individual hours 294 00:13:11,519 --> 00:13:13,819 sprinkled throughout the year. 295 00:13:15,957 --> 00:13:17,723 (high-pitched): Boop. 296 00:13:19,894 --> 00:13:21,393 (groans) 297 00:13:21,395 --> 00:13:24,530 Deep breaths, slow breaths. 298 00:13:24,532 --> 00:13:27,700 I'm so thirsty. Give me more ice chips. 299 00:13:27,702 --> 00:13:29,502 (crunching) 300 00:13:32,807 --> 00:13:36,675 Sorry. I... thought these were room ice chips. 301 00:13:37,912 --> 00:13:39,912 I'll go get some more. 302 00:13:39,914 --> 00:13:41,781 Uh, Stuart, while you're out there, 303 00:13:41,783 --> 00:13:43,549 don't come back. 304 00:13:43,551 --> 00:13:45,384 Okay. 305 00:13:45,386 --> 00:13:46,786 (chuckles) 306 00:13:47,855 --> 00:13:51,724 So, what are we gonna name this kid? 307 00:13:51,726 --> 00:13:53,592 Now that we know she's a girl, 308 00:13:53,594 --> 00:13:57,096 it kind of ruins my plan for Wally Wolowitz. 309 00:13:58,366 --> 00:14:00,499 Could name her after your mom. 310 00:14:00,501 --> 00:14:01,634 Debbie? 311 00:14:01,636 --> 00:14:03,102 (chuckles) No. 312 00:14:03,104 --> 00:14:04,904 She hated that name. 313 00:14:04,906 --> 00:14:06,505 Did she have a middle name? 314 00:14:06,507 --> 00:14:08,174 Melvina. 315 00:14:09,477 --> 00:14:12,578 Let's keep thinking. 316 00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:15,281 Mm. Ah. 317 00:14:15,283 --> 00:14:17,817 It sucks that she's not here. 318 00:14:17,819 --> 00:14:19,418 I know. 319 00:14:19,420 --> 00:14:20,719 Hm. 320 00:14:20,721 --> 00:14:23,956 She would've been the best grandma. 321 00:14:23,958 --> 00:14:26,091 She did always have candy in her pocket. 322 00:14:26,093 --> 00:14:27,893 (exhales) Yeah. 323 00:14:27,895 --> 00:14:30,563 I was 20 years old before I figured out 324 00:14:30,565 --> 00:14:33,833 Tootsie Rolls weren't naturally warm. 325 00:14:34,969 --> 00:14:37,536 I didn't know her five minutes and she asked, 326 00:14:37,538 --> 00:14:41,674 (like Mrs. Wolowitz): “Are you a Milky Way or a Snickers girl?” 327 00:14:41,676 --> 00:14:45,578 Thank God you answered right, we wouldn't be here today. 328 00:14:48,015 --> 00:14:49,982 It's hard to believe Howard's having a kid. 329 00:14:49,984 --> 00:14:51,317 Yeah. 330 00:14:51,319 --> 00:14:53,385 Penny, you're the one who introduced him to Bernie. 331 00:14:53,387 --> 00:14:55,888 How many times do I have to say I'm sorry? 332 00:14:57,091 --> 00:14:59,358 It's not just Howard and Bernadette. I mean, 333 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,093 look how far we've all come. 334 00:15:01,095 --> 00:15:02,027 Hmm. Hmm. 335 00:15:02,029 --> 00:15:03,295 You two got married. 336 00:15:03,297 --> 00:15:05,831 Sheldon and I are living together. 337 00:15:05,833 --> 00:15:08,400 But if my mom asks, we have bunk beds. 338 00:15:10,171 --> 00:15:12,471 Penny was a struggling actress when we met, 339 00:15:12,473 --> 00:15:14,707 and now she's a successful pharmaceutical rep. 340 00:15:14,709 --> 00:15:17,309 Okay, you don't have to say “struggling” every time. 341 00:15:17,311 --> 00:15:19,979 You can just say “actress.” 342 00:15:19,981 --> 00:15:21,881 Howard went to space. 343 00:15:21,883 --> 00:15:24,149 Bernadette got her doctorate. 344 00:15:24,151 --> 00:15:26,352 Sheldon, Howard and I are working with the government 345 00:15:26,354 --> 00:15:28,020 on our quantum gyroscope. 346 00:15:28,022 --> 00:15:30,289 We've all come a long way. 347 00:15:30,291 --> 00:15:31,824 There's a lot to be proud of. 348 00:15:33,261 --> 00:15:36,929 For God's sake, just drive in the knife, why don't you! 349 00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,900 What's your problem? Well, you're all thinking 350 00:15:40,902 --> 00:15:44,270 that I'm the only one who hasn't done anything worthwhile. 351 00:15:44,272 --> 00:15:45,738 I was not thinking it. 352 00:15:45,740 --> 00:15:49,975 Although, now that you point it out, it is undeniable. 353 00:15:49,977 --> 00:15:51,710 Raj, if it's any consolation, 354 00:15:51,712 --> 00:15:54,747 I'm no better off than I was ten years ago. 355 00:15:54,749 --> 00:15:57,283 Oh, yay! 356 00:15:57,285 --> 00:15:59,585 I have a doctorate in astrophysics 357 00:15:59,587 --> 00:16:01,153 and I'm every bit as awesome 358 00:16:01,155 --> 00:16:03,822 as the pasty-faced owner of a comic book store! 359 00:16:03,824 --> 00:16:06,392 Raj! Show some compassion. 360 00:16:06,394 --> 00:16:09,428 Those are things that we think but don't say. 361 00:16:13,100 --> 00:16:14,733 Excuse me. 362 00:16:16,470 --> 00:16:17,770 Sorry, Stuart. 363 00:16:17,772 --> 00:16:20,205 Hey, I'm in a hospital and I'm not the patient. 364 00:16:20,207 --> 00:16:22,041 I'm fine. 365 00:16:23,177 --> 00:16:24,643 Come on, Bernie, breathe. 366 00:16:24,645 --> 00:16:26,712 Remember what you learned in birthing class. 367 00:16:26,714 --> 00:16:28,747 I remember thinking, “This is stupid”" 368 00:16:28,749 --> 00:16:31,550 and I was right! 369 00:16:31,552 --> 00:16:33,218 Do you want me to get the nurse? 370 00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:36,088 No! If one more person puts their fingers near my uterus, 371 00:16:36,090 --> 00:16:39,325 I'm gonna cross my legs and snap 'em off! 372 00:16:43,597 --> 00:16:46,165 I've come to peace with my relationship with my parents. 373 00:16:46,167 --> 00:16:48,534 That was a big milestone for me. 374 00:16:48,536 --> 00:16:50,436 Oh, speaking of personal growth, 375 00:16:50,438 --> 00:16:53,939 I recently tried eating Swiss chard. 376 00:16:55,242 --> 00:16:59,845 You know, I didn't swallow it, but Amy said it counted. 377 00:17:00,815 --> 00:17:03,582 Hey. Hey. 378 00:17:07,521 --> 00:17:09,288 Still a loser or did you turn things around 379 00:17:09,290 --> 00:17:11,457 while you were gone? 380 00:17:13,027 --> 00:17:14,259 You know, Raj, honey, 381 00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:16,028 you're being too hard on yourself. 382 00:17:16,030 --> 00:17:18,030 When I first met you, you couldn't even talk to women. 383 00:17:18,032 --> 00:17:19,932 I mean, you couldn't even talk if one was in the room. 384 00:17:19,934 --> 00:17:21,333 Oh, great, now I can say 385 00:17:21,335 --> 00:17:24,069 things like “I can't believe you're breaking up with me.” 386 00:17:24,071 --> 00:17:27,039 “Why are you breaking up with me?” 387 00:17:27,041 --> 00:17:30,142 “Yes, I'll still help you move”" 388 00:17:30,144 --> 00:17:32,411 Anyone else want to try? 389 00:17:32,413 --> 00:17:34,947 Uh, yeah, I got something. 390 00:17:34,949 --> 00:17:36,215 Raj, 391 00:17:36,217 --> 00:17:39,318 not everybody could be a dog owner. 392 00:17:40,421 --> 00:17:44,723 Oh, what? Did your doggie break up with you too? 393 00:17:45,793 --> 00:17:48,660 Hey, I bought M&Ms at the vending machine 394 00:17:48,662 --> 00:17:49,828 and two bags came out. 395 00:17:49,830 --> 00:17:51,630 I bought the first one, 396 00:17:51,632 --> 00:17:54,099 it didn't fall. 397 00:17:54,101 --> 00:17:57,002 Here. 398 00:17:59,073 --> 00:18:01,440 She's here, the baby's here! 399 00:18:01,442 --> 00:18:03,742 - Oh! Oh. - Congratulations! 400 00:18:03,744 --> 00:18:05,077 How's Bernadette? 401 00:18:05,079 --> 00:18:06,512 Tired, but great. 402 00:18:06,514 --> 00:18:07,679 They're both great. 403 00:18:07,681 --> 00:18:09,014 Does the baby have a name yet? 404 00:18:09,016 --> 00:18:11,483 We have named her Halley. 405 00:18:11,485 --> 00:18:13,085 - Oh! - Oh, like Halley's comet. 406 00:18:13,087 --> 00:18:14,119 HOWARD: Exactly. 407 00:18:14,121 --> 00:18:15,754 Also like the comet, Bernadette said 408 00:18:15,756 --> 00:18:19,625 she's not gonna have sex with me for another 75 years. 409 00:18:19,627 --> 00:18:23,095 That's not a real thing, he's just joking. 410 00:18:23,097 --> 00:18:24,530 I'm gonna get back. 411 00:18:24,532 --> 00:18:26,865 Thank you for staying up, I can't wait for Halley to meet 412 00:18:26,867 --> 00:18:28,033 her new aunts and uncles 413 00:18:28,035 --> 00:18:30,335 and godfather. 414 00:18:30,337 --> 00:18:32,271 Really? 415 00:18:32,273 --> 00:18:34,406 Of course. 416 00:18:34,408 --> 00:18:35,707 You hear that, Stuart?! 417 00:18:35,709 --> 00:18:38,877 I've got a dog and a godchild, you have nothing! 418 00:18:42,349 --> 00:18:45,417 (babies cooing) 419 00:18:45,419 --> 00:18:48,487 Oh, look at all the babies! 420 00:18:48,489 --> 00:18:50,789 Some will be successful, 421 00:18:50,791 --> 00:18:54,960 some may be homeless. 422 00:18:54,962 --> 00:18:57,830 It's fun to think about. 423 00:18:59,567 --> 00:19:01,333 I wonder which one's Halley. 424 00:19:01,335 --> 00:19:03,135 Kind of hard to see the names. 425 00:19:03,137 --> 00:19:05,571 Mm, that one kind of looks like Bernadette. 426 00:19:05,573 --> 00:19:07,172 They all look the same to me. 427 00:19:07,174 --> 00:19:08,340 KOOTHRAPPALI: Guys, 428 00:19:08,342 --> 00:19:09,675 she's my goddaughter, 429 00:19:09,677 --> 00:19:12,344 I think I'll know when I see her. 430 00:19:12,346 --> 00:19:14,613 (baby cries loudly like Mrs. Wolowitz) 431 00:19:22,679 --> 00:19:24,846 That one. 432 00:19:33,255 --> 00:19:35,156 Well, that was quite a day. 433 00:19:35,157 --> 00:19:37,223 It was. 434 00:19:37,225 --> 00:19:38,925 Bernadette had her baby, 435 00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,860 I made it to Wizarding World, 436 00:19:40,862 --> 00:19:42,629 and now it is time to complete 437 00:19:42,631 --> 00:19:44,864 your birthday celebration. 438 00:19:44,866 --> 00:19:46,032 Hankius 439 00:19:46,034 --> 00:19:49,703 pankius. 440 00:19:49,705 --> 00:19:52,305 I was afraid you'd be too tired. 441 00:19:52,307 --> 00:19:55,141 Amy, I just saw a magic train 442 00:19:55,143 --> 00:19:58,878 and reported somebody for cutting the line. 443 00:20:00,048 --> 00:20:02,615 If that's not foreplay, I don't know what is. 444 00:20:02,617 --> 00:20:03,883 (chuckles) 445 00:20:07,445 --> 00:20:14,245 == sync, corrected by elderman == @elder_man