1 00:00:04,008 --> 00:00:07,648 You comfortable? Are you.. are you too hot or too cold or...? 2 00:00:10,888 --> 00:00:13,766 Any coffee? Or you want some more coffee or anything? 3 00:00:13,767 --> 00:00:16,886 Because there's a place just up the road. I can go get it. 4 00:00:16,887 --> 00:00:19,166 What are you asking me right now? 5 00:00:19,167 --> 00:00:22,181 Uh, just... do you feel okay? You feel... you're comfortable? 6 00:00:22,206 --> 00:00:23,605 Everything okay. 7 00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,245 Just making chit-chat. 8 00:00:25,246 --> 00:00:27,885 Are you okay? Do you feel comfortable? 9 00:00:28,391 --> 00:00:29,725 Yeah, I'm very, very comfortable. 10 00:00:29,726 --> 00:00:32,764 So let's just both assume the other man is okay and comfortable. 11 00:00:32,765 --> 00:00:34,454 Sure. Just... just... just... 12 00:00:34,479 --> 00:00:40,884 You know, I've never had an American policeman, uh, here. 13 00:00:40,885 --> 00:00:44,403 So it's... it's a little exciting to have you here. 14 00:00:44,404 --> 00:00:45,883 Welcome! 15 00:00:45,884 --> 00:00:48,203 Car 72, please report. Car 72. 16 00:00:48,204 --> 00:00:50,883 Uh, yes, uh, Car 72. 17 00:00:50,884 --> 00:00:54,431 That's no activity from Detective Hendy and... 18 00:00:57,163 --> 00:00:59,477 Uh, Special Agent... Special Agent? Or is it...? 19 00:00:59,502 --> 00:01:01,602 Uh, Agent Cutler from... 20 00:01:01,603 --> 00:01:03,321 Is it the D... DEA? 21 00:01:03,322 --> 00:01:04,921 Drug... 22 00:01:04,922 --> 00:01:06,962 The American... from America. 23 00:01:08,242 --> 00:01:10,081 You know who he is. No activity. 24 00:01:39,759 --> 00:01:41,238 Operation Big Red. 25 00:01:41,239 --> 00:01:43,357 Confirming the amphetamines within the coffee crates 26 00:01:43,358 --> 00:01:46,277 were moved overnight to the warehouse location, 27 00:01:46,278 --> 00:01:50,157 uh, suspected of being a distribution centre. 28 00:01:50,158 --> 00:01:54,356 So do you, uh... You flew over business or economy? 29 00:01:54,357 --> 00:01:56,076 Or coach? 30 00:01:56,077 --> 00:01:58,336 From the States... of America? 31 00:02:02,077 --> 00:02:03,715 You know, on those long-haul flights, 32 00:02:03,716 --> 00:02:06,355 they put a very mild constipating agent 33 00:02:06,356 --> 00:02:09,155 in the food, you know, just... just to... 34 00:02:09,156 --> 00:02:12,235 It reduces bowel movements. It's called corking the food. 35 00:02:12,236 --> 00:02:14,554 You cork the chicken pasta and cork the... 36 00:02:14,555 --> 00:02:16,594 'Cause otherwise, you've got 300 people at 40,000 feet... 37 00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:18,994 You know, think about it. It's gonna become a real poo-fest. 38 00:02:18,995 --> 00:02:22,274 And, uh, you know, then you've got 'Turds on a Plane', 39 00:02:22,275 --> 00:02:25,073 starring Samuel L. Jackson. 40 00:02:25,074 --> 00:02:26,793 It's not because you're black. That was not... 41 00:02:26,794 --> 00:02:29,153 It's just because he's the star of the movie. He's... he's... 42 00:02:29,154 --> 00:02:31,793 Sorry, and I know you have to be very sensitive about that thing 43 00:02:31,794 --> 00:02:33,272 in your country 44 00:02:33,273 --> 00:02:35,312 because you shoot the black... you shoot the people. 45 00:02:35,313 --> 00:02:38,232 You shoot people of various, um, ethnic... 46 00:02:38,233 --> 00:02:40,032 All sorts. All sorts. 47 00:02:40,033 --> 00:02:42,951 Sorry, I'm just... I'm rambling because my partner shot someone. 48 00:02:42,952 --> 00:02:45,791 He's in counselling because he shot a black... a person... 49 00:02:45,792 --> 00:02:48,911 Can we be in silence for just a moment? 50 00:02:49,523 --> 00:02:52,203 - Is that okay? Thank you. - Yes. 51 00:02:59,071 --> 00:03:01,830 So do I... do I just start talking or...? 52 00:03:02,436 --> 00:03:04,189 Well, if you could just, uh, 53 00:03:04,190 --> 00:03:07,549 tell me about the night of the shooting in your own words. 54 00:03:07,550 --> 00:03:11,109 Ah, the shooting. Well, okay. 55 00:03:11,110 --> 00:03:13,668 Just to go back, to put it into context, all right? 56 00:03:13,669 --> 00:03:15,627 Hendy and I, uh, uh... 57 00:03:15,652 --> 00:03:17,268 Well, actually, go back another step. 58 00:03:17,269 --> 00:03:18,748 I'd left home in the morning. 59 00:03:18,749 --> 00:03:20,415 Um, my wife, Wendy, uh, was... 60 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,039 I was a bit late out the door 61 00:03:22,064 --> 00:03:23,427 because she was in one of her moods. 62 00:03:23,428 --> 00:03:25,187 She gets a... 63 00:03:25,188 --> 00:03:27,147 Well, she's kind of clinically depressed, 64 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:30,279 but, um, she has been ever since her husband... 65 00:03:30,304 --> 00:03:31,747 No... no one probably... 66 00:03:31,748 --> 00:03:35,066 Anyway, she was married to a pilot, uh, Charles. 67 00:03:35,067 --> 00:03:38,586 And, um, he suffered a rather unfortunate accident 68 00:03:38,587 --> 00:03:40,386 with a... with a cargo door. 69 00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:43,025 Actually, I won't go into the details. It's... 70 00:03:43,026 --> 00:03:45,225 He lost his head. It came, like... 71 00:03:45,226 --> 00:03:47,265 It just... as he was going by... 72 00:03:47,266 --> 00:03:49,505 Apparently, he was reaching in for some hand luggage. 73 00:03:49,506 --> 00:03:51,025 Anyway, it wasn't his. Doesn't matter. 74 00:03:51,026 --> 00:03:52,505 Hendy and I had to go around 75 00:03:52,506 --> 00:03:54,144 and give her the news about her husband, 76 00:03:54,145 --> 00:03:56,624 and she was distraught, quite naturally. 77 00:03:56,625 --> 00:03:59,544 So, uh... He was a very handsome man. 78 00:03:59,545 --> 00:04:02,743 And he had this, um... like, this hat. 79 00:04:02,744 --> 00:04:06,104 He would wear his hat on a jaunty angle and... 80 00:04:07,584 --> 00:04:10,103 I understand her grief, is all I'm trying to say. 81 00:04:10,104 --> 00:04:11,583 And we struck up a little thing. 82 00:04:11,584 --> 00:04:13,462 And one day, she just threw herself at me. 83 00:04:13,463 --> 00:04:14,942 Like, out of grief, 84 00:04:14,943 --> 00:04:17,702 she just came at me like some nympho octopus, 85 00:04:17,703 --> 00:04:19,342 just legs all over the place. 86 00:04:20,041 --> 00:04:24,181 It was amazing, but she was quite ashamed afterwards. 87 00:04:24,182 --> 00:04:26,341 Do you think we could just get back to 88 00:04:26,342 --> 00:04:27,821 the night of the shooting? 89 00:04:28,598 --> 00:04:30,661 Ah, the shooting, yes! 90 00:04:30,662 --> 00:04:32,261 What do you want to know about that? 91 00:04:42,214 --> 00:04:45,459 Hey, mate, have you thought any more about... 92 00:04:45,460 --> 00:04:47,259 maybe coming down the coast with me? 93 00:04:47,260 --> 00:04:49,019 You know, I'll look after you. 94 00:04:49,514 --> 00:04:50,819 Yeah. 95 00:04:50,820 --> 00:04:55,178 Hey, hey, don't worry, all right? We'll be all right. I promise. 96 00:04:55,179 --> 00:04:57,218 I got rid of him clean, mate. No one's gonna... 97 00:04:57,219 --> 00:04:59,938 As long as we keep our mouths shut, we'll be fine. 98 00:04:59,939 --> 00:05:02,150 Should I teach you something while we're here? 99 00:05:02,175 --> 00:05:03,175 Yeah. 100 00:05:04,018 --> 00:05:06,177 You just got a little bit of blood there. 101 00:05:06,928 --> 00:05:08,937 This is a little app I picked up. 102 00:05:08,938 --> 00:05:10,937 That one down there, that's your C4. 103 00:05:10,938 --> 00:05:13,416 Most blokes, if they're gonna take a head off, 104 00:05:13,417 --> 00:05:16,216 they'll just drive an axe between the C4 or C5. 105 00:05:16,217 --> 00:05:18,216 They're gonna make a mess all over the place, right? 106 00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:20,016 You get shards of bone. 107 00:05:20,017 --> 00:05:24,055 Mate, that is a forensic man's wet dream, right? Not me. 108 00:05:24,056 --> 00:05:25,535 Have a look at this. 109 00:05:25,536 --> 00:05:28,015 Or would you use a crowbar or, like, a hacksaw to get... 110 00:05:28,016 --> 00:05:32,295 No! Amateur time, mate. Amateur time. No. Piece of wood. 111 00:05:32,296 --> 00:05:34,534 In fact, even better, a little bit of cloth around it, 112 00:05:34,535 --> 00:05:36,214 and just gently, ever-so-gently, until... 113 00:05:36,215 --> 00:05:38,054 You'll feel it, you'll feel it, you'll feel it... 114 00:05:38,055 --> 00:05:40,174 Straight off. 115 00:05:40,175 --> 00:05:42,733 Clean as a whistle. No shard. No problem. 116 00:05:42,734 --> 00:05:44,213 This is providing, of course, 117 00:05:44,214 --> 00:05:46,973 you've done all your nerve work, your muscle work around it. 118 00:05:46,998 --> 00:05:49,201 - Which I generally do straightaway. - Yeah, right. 119 00:05:49,496 --> 00:05:52,976 You know, I probably... 120 00:05:53,613 --> 00:05:55,132 I think about if Mum and Dad 121 00:05:55,133 --> 00:05:57,012 had probably paid more attention to me, 122 00:05:57,013 --> 00:06:00,012 I probably could've got a decent education. 123 00:06:00,013 --> 00:06:02,452 I probably could've been a doctor, you know? 124 00:06:02,453 --> 00:06:03,971 You've got an incredible bedside manner. 125 00:06:03,972 --> 00:06:06,211 Very steady hand. A keen eye. 126 00:06:06,212 --> 00:06:07,771 I love the idea of helping people. 127 00:06:07,772 --> 00:06:09,611 Just making them feel better, you know? 128 00:06:09,612 --> 00:06:12,291 You are helping people. You're helping me. 129 00:06:12,292 --> 00:06:14,930 And goodness knows Glen feels a lot better now... 130 00:06:14,931 --> 00:06:17,250 wherever he is. 131 00:06:17,251 --> 00:06:19,490 Right, in a thousand bits and pieces all over the place. 132 00:06:19,491 --> 00:06:21,210 Exactly right. Never-never land. 133 00:06:21,211 --> 00:06:22,689 You know? 134 00:06:22,690 --> 00:06:24,169 Woop-woop. 135 00:06:24,170 --> 00:06:26,249 Wonderworld. 136 00:06:26,250 --> 00:06:28,256 Madagascar. 137 00:06:30,233 --> 00:06:32,489 Madagascar's a real place. 138 00:06:32,490 --> 00:06:34,288 Isn't it? In Africa. 139 00:06:34,289 --> 00:06:36,009 Don't think so. I think it's a cartoon. 140 00:06:42,715 --> 00:06:45,423 - It's your first time here? - Yeah. 141 00:06:46,342 --> 00:06:47,941 Have you seen much? 142 00:06:47,942 --> 00:06:49,949 I don't think there's much to see. 143 00:06:49,949 --> 00:06:52,108 Come on! It's Australia. 144 00:06:52,109 --> 00:06:53,827 I mean, I know a lot about Australia. 145 00:06:53,828 --> 00:06:56,667 I could take you to the zoo. Have you seen many marsupials? 146 00:06:56,668 --> 00:06:59,907 - We've got, uh, emu. Platypus. - Right. 147 00:06:59,908 --> 00:07:01,627 When they first discovered the platypus, 148 00:07:01,628 --> 00:07:03,386 they thought it was a fake, a forgery. 149 00:07:03,387 --> 00:07:05,506 I could take you to some kangaroos in the wild. 150 00:07:05,507 --> 00:07:07,106 Yeah, I've seen "Crocodile Dundee". 151 00:07:07,107 --> 00:07:11,186 I know what you guys have to offer. I've seen it. I love it. 152 00:07:11,187 --> 00:07:13,505 I've seen your nature. I've seen your people. 153 00:07:13,506 --> 00:07:15,585 Well, if you've just seen the movie, that's... 154 00:07:15,586 --> 00:07:17,625 "Crocodile Dundee", that's 30 years ago. 155 00:07:17,626 --> 00:07:20,185 You know, we've done a... come a long way since then. 156 00:07:20,186 --> 00:07:21,665 You're telling me you've got 157 00:07:21,666 --> 00:07:23,144 something better than "Crocodile Dundee"? 158 00:07:23,145 --> 00:07:25,664 - Are you serious? - I'm dead serious. 159 00:07:25,665 --> 00:07:27,384 I think it's insulting to be told 160 00:07:27,385 --> 00:07:29,704 that that's the best thing our country's done in 30 years. 161 00:07:29,705 --> 00:07:31,544 - Name something better. - I can name plenty of things. 162 00:07:31,545 --> 00:07:33,143 - Name one. - I can name lots of things. 163 00:07:33,144 --> 00:07:34,983 - Then start naming them. - I will. 164 00:07:34,984 --> 00:07:37,097 - And I'll give you an honest take. - Okay. 165 00:07:37,264 --> 00:07:39,023 For one... 166 00:07:39,024 --> 00:07:40,503 I don't know what "For One" is. 167 00:07:40,504 --> 00:07:42,103 - No, I'm saying number one. - "For One"? 168 00:07:42,104 --> 00:07:44,222 - Number one. - 'Cause you took a pause. 169 00:07:44,223 --> 00:07:46,382 Yeah, I'm thinking of the best thing. 170 00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:47,862 'Cause I can say one without thinking. 171 00:07:47,863 --> 00:07:50,702 "Crocodile motherfucking Dundee". 172 00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:52,302 - The Sydney Olympics. - No. 173 00:07:52,303 --> 00:07:54,301 Everyone does an Olympics. Every four years, it's different. 174 00:07:54,302 --> 00:07:56,781 - We hosted those Olympics. - Yeah, and we won those. 175 00:07:56,782 --> 00:07:59,901 - We've hosted them in L.A. too. - Ian Thorpe. 176 00:07:59,902 --> 00:08:03,060 - Lleyton Hewitt. Vegemite. - No. Eugh! No, no, no. 177 00:08:03,061 --> 00:08:05,500 - Pavlova. Great Barrier Reef. - No. No. 178 00:08:05,501 --> 00:08:08,020 - Uluru. Bondi. - No. No. 179 00:08:08,021 --> 00:08:09,901 "Australia", the film. 180 00:08:15,020 --> 00:08:16,940 "Crocodile Dundee II". 181 00:08:20,140 --> 00:08:22,219 - You win. - There you go. 182 00:08:22,220 --> 00:08:25,018 - And that's all I'm saying. - Yeah. Okay. 183 00:08:25,019 --> 00:08:27,618 No movement to or from the warehouse 184 00:08:27,619 --> 00:08:29,098 at this time. 185 00:08:29,099 --> 00:08:32,458 Uh, let's stay alert, guys. We know the target's good. 186 00:08:32,459 --> 00:08:34,697 Just, uh... just gotta wait. 187 00:08:34,698 --> 00:08:36,497 - That is amazing. - What is? 188 00:08:36,498 --> 00:08:39,657 Listen to this, "More fatalities occur" 189 00:08:39,658 --> 00:08:42,497 "from cyclones and hurricanes with female names" 190 00:08:42,498 --> 00:08:45,056 "than those with male names." 191 00:08:45,057 --> 00:08:46,936 It's like they don't take the... 192 00:08:46,937 --> 00:08:49,776 you know, the female ones as a serious threat. 193 00:08:49,777 --> 00:08:53,295 It's almost like, you know, "Oh! Cyclone Helen's on its way." 194 00:08:53,296 --> 00:08:56,455 "Oh! Oh, Helen might come over. She might, you know..." 195 00:08:56,456 --> 00:08:59,575 "She might mess up my hair. It'd be nice to see her, but..." 196 00:08:59,576 --> 00:09:03,014 Hurricane Rodney, he's like, "Right. Rodney's on his way!" 197 00:09:03,015 --> 00:09:05,934 "He is angry! Everybody downstairs, now!" 198 00:09:05,935 --> 00:09:08,694 See, that is completely in the same vein as what happened 199 00:09:08,695 --> 00:09:11,135 with me and that man that I tasered to death. 200 00:09:12,805 --> 00:09:13,836 Completely. 201 00:09:13,861 --> 00:09:16,660 Sorry, hang on. So... this is related to that, is it? 202 00:09:16,661 --> 00:09:20,540 I think so, because I wasn't taken seriously as a female. 203 00:09:20,541 --> 00:09:23,503 - I wanted to be taken seriously. - Um, yep. 204 00:09:23,678 --> 00:09:26,557 I'm pretty sure you're taken seriously now. 205 00:09:26,558 --> 00:09:28,597 - Especially by all the men here. - Okay. 206 00:09:28,598 --> 00:09:30,437 "Don't park in April's spot." 207 00:09:30,438 --> 00:09:33,117 "Look, there she is, 'Crazy Tasey'." 208 00:09:33,118 --> 00:09:36,356 So it's, like, yeah, "'The Cock Taser'." 209 00:09:36,357 --> 00:09:39,436 I mean, I don't... I don't condone it, but... 210 00:09:39,437 --> 00:09:41,636 Pretty funny play on words. 211 00:09:42,086 --> 00:09:43,596 Some of them. 212 00:09:44,364 --> 00:09:47,363 Anyway, I thought that was an interesting article. 213 00:09:53,443 --> 00:09:55,402 - What's up? - Forgot to feed the dog. 214 00:09:55,403 --> 00:09:56,882 What dog? You don't have a dog. 215 00:09:56,883 --> 00:09:59,322 - Haven't I told you about this? - Since when? 216 00:09:59,323 --> 00:10:00,642 Get a load of this. 217 00:10:00,643 --> 00:10:03,121 - I'm down at Bunga'schop-shop, right? - Oh, yeah. 218 00:10:03,122 --> 00:10:04,601 There's this dog hanging around. 219 00:10:04,602 --> 00:10:07,161 He's looking for food scraps or something in the bins, you know? 220 00:10:07,162 --> 00:10:08,721 Beautiful-looking dog. Weimaraner. 221 00:10:08,722 --> 00:10:10,241 Gorgeous dog, right? 222 00:10:10,242 --> 00:10:11,841 I walk him home. 223 00:10:11,842 --> 00:10:14,160 Number's on the collar. Ring the number. 224 00:10:14,161 --> 00:10:16,240 Family comes down. Nice enough family, you know? 225 00:10:16,241 --> 00:10:17,720 Sweet-looking family, you know? 226 00:10:17,721 --> 00:10:20,120 Father's probably, I don't know, an accountant or something. 227 00:10:20,121 --> 00:10:21,800 Two kids. Nice young kids, you know? 228 00:10:21,801 --> 00:10:23,599 So they're pretty happy to see Brisket. 229 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:25,119 Brisket. That was his name, right? 230 00:10:25,120 --> 00:10:27,999 This guy pulls out his wallet. Hundred bucks. 231 00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:31,039 I said, "No, please. I don't want the hundred bucks." 232 00:10:31,040 --> 00:10:34,278 "You know, just trying to do the right thing here. It's okay." 233 00:10:34,279 --> 00:10:37,078 He says, "I insist. I want you to take the hundred bucks." 234 00:10:37,079 --> 00:10:39,518 It's a bit embarrassing. So I look at the kids. 235 00:10:39,519 --> 00:10:43,277 I say, "No, kids, you know, I didn't do this for a reward." 236 00:10:43,278 --> 00:10:46,277 "I did this because I feel that this is the right thing to do." 237 00:10:46,278 --> 00:10:50,637 "I wanna live in a world where people just do the right thing" 238 00:10:50,638 --> 00:10:52,796 "because they feel it's the right thing to do." 239 00:10:52,797 --> 00:10:55,036 Little sort of Martin Luther King type speech. 240 00:10:55,037 --> 00:10:56,876 He's still waving the hundred in front of me. 241 00:10:56,877 --> 00:10:58,836 You know? Almost insulting me. 242 00:10:58,837 --> 00:11:01,196 I said, finally, "Okay, I'll take the hundred." 243 00:11:01,197 --> 00:11:04,435 "I feel bad about it, but I'll take the hundred." Off they go. 244 00:11:04,436 --> 00:11:06,155 About a week later... 245 00:11:06,156 --> 00:11:08,315 what do I see on this telegraph pole? 246 00:11:08,316 --> 00:11:11,195 - "Reward, dog lost..." - Brisket. Brisket. 247 00:11:11,196 --> 00:11:12,675 - Brisket. - Yeah, right. 248 00:11:12,676 --> 00:11:15,315 300. 249 00:11:16,755 --> 00:11:18,514 You weren't gonna take the hundred. 250 00:11:18,515 --> 00:11:20,434 That's not the point. It's the principle. 251 00:11:20,435 --> 00:11:22,254 I'm down 200 bucks. 252 00:11:22,834 --> 00:11:24,833 So I go round to his place three nights later 253 00:11:24,834 --> 00:11:26,633 and I steal the fuckin' dog. 254 00:11:27,681 --> 00:11:29,045 Did you want a dog? 255 00:11:30,665 --> 00:11:32,333 N... No, not particularly. 256 00:11:32,358 --> 00:11:34,395 But he's a beautiful dog. I love him. 257 00:11:38,996 --> 00:11:41,352 You know, your American films have got a lot to answer for, 258 00:11:41,353 --> 00:11:44,511 because, you know... I mean, YOU know it's not like the movies. 259 00:11:44,512 --> 00:11:47,028 It's a lot of this. Lot of just sitting, waiting. 260 00:11:47,195 --> 00:11:48,711 You know, just waiting. 261 00:11:48,712 --> 00:11:51,271 If you knew why I was here, 262 00:11:51,272 --> 00:11:53,591 you wouldn't think this was boring. 263 00:11:55,551 --> 00:11:57,990 - Why are you here? - Don't worry about it. 264 00:11:57,991 --> 00:12:00,070 A Mexican drug cartel? 265 00:12:00,071 --> 00:12:02,350 Or a Colombian drug cartel? 266 00:12:02,351 --> 00:12:03,829 Just sniff if it's Mexican. 267 00:12:03,830 --> 00:12:05,390 If it's Colombian, just do nothing. 268 00:12:07,230 --> 00:12:09,749 - So it's Mexican? - I didn't say that. 269 00:12:09,750 --> 00:12:12,589 - No, you didn't. - No, I literally didn't. 270 00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:15,348 - Okay, so it's Colombian? - I didn't say that. 271 00:12:15,349 --> 00:12:17,668 No. You didn't. 272 00:12:17,669 --> 00:12:19,508 - What I'm telling you... - Yeah. 273 00:12:19,509 --> 00:12:21,268 ..is I didn't tell you anything. 274 00:12:21,269 --> 00:12:23,227 No, you didn't, and that's what I'm saying. 275 00:12:23,228 --> 00:12:26,027 - Mm-hm. I know you didn't. - Good. 276 00:12:26,028 --> 00:12:28,507 - 'Cause you're acting like I did. - No, I'm not. 277 00:12:28,508 --> 00:12:30,227 If I was gonna tell anybody, 278 00:12:30,228 --> 00:12:32,707 I wouldn't tell you because I don't trust you with a secret 279 00:12:32,708 --> 00:12:34,786 'cause I don't think you're smart enough to keep it. 280 00:12:34,787 --> 00:12:36,118 That's right. 281 00:12:37,187 --> 00:12:39,146 'Cause I'm not a police officer. 282 00:12:39,147 --> 00:12:41,043 No, you are a police officer. Or you're a detective. 283 00:12:41,068 --> 00:12:42,068 Yes. 284 00:12:42,093 --> 00:12:44,092 I think you're a real low-level detective. 285 00:12:46,266 --> 00:12:48,865 And I don't think you could handle the kind of information 286 00:12:48,866 --> 00:12:50,745 that I have. 287 00:12:50,746 --> 00:12:52,985 Do you get what I'm saying? 288 00:12:54,945 --> 00:12:56,464 Yeah. 289 00:12:56,465 --> 00:12:58,904 Car 72, please report. 290 00:12:58,905 --> 00:13:01,264 Yes, Car 72. No activity. 291 00:13:01,265 --> 00:13:03,103 No activity. Copy that. 292 00:13:03,104 --> 00:13:05,383 And we're gonna get pregnant, okay, right? 293 00:13:05,384 --> 00:13:06,863 And I just thought, 294 00:13:06,864 --> 00:13:09,303 "This is it. Give her a child, make her happy." 295 00:13:09,304 --> 00:13:10,783 The next minute, before I know it, 296 00:13:10,784 --> 00:13:12,782 she's telling me about this pilot-semen bank. 297 00:13:12,783 --> 00:13:16,342 I think, okay, this is our fourth time round now, 298 00:13:16,343 --> 00:13:20,262 and we're using a cup of her dead husband's semen. 299 00:13:20,263 --> 00:13:22,062 - Right... - Mmm. 300 00:13:22,063 --> 00:13:25,301 I mean, is it wrong that I think it is okay 301 00:13:25,302 --> 00:13:29,941 to use a cup of another man's semen to impregnate my wife? 302 00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:32,101 What does it say about me? 303 00:13:32,102 --> 00:13:34,060 I mean, what kind of man am I, hmm? 304 00:13:34,061 --> 00:13:35,900 I mean, I would do that out of love, 305 00:13:35,901 --> 00:13:37,900 but I... I... I'm a man. 306 00:13:37,901 --> 00:13:39,900 You know, my son's gonna be there looking at me 307 00:13:39,901 --> 00:13:42,060 with his same hairline as Charles 308 00:13:42,061 --> 00:13:43,859 and those fantastic teeth. 309 00:13:43,860 --> 00:13:46,499 Just... Is that part of me? 310 00:13:46,500 --> 00:13:49,105 But I'm okay. Or am I? Hmm? 311 00:13:49,130 --> 00:13:51,579 Ha! That's what I'm saying. 312 00:13:51,580 --> 00:13:53,978 I don't know if I'm okay with it. 313 00:13:53,979 --> 00:13:55,978 But I'm gonna do it all the same, you know? 314 00:13:55,979 --> 00:13:59,458 We've just got a whole milk tray of cups lined up. 315 00:13:59,459 --> 00:14:01,618 - Bang, bang, bang! - Mmm-hmm. 316 00:14:01,619 --> 00:14:04,457 - Obviously, we're not gonna drink them. - No, I know. 317 00:14:04,458 --> 00:14:06,418 Sorry! 318 00:14:09,338 --> 00:14:12,577 It's just one of those magic memories, you know? 319 00:14:12,578 --> 00:14:14,336 Completely, yeah. 320 00:14:14,337 --> 00:14:16,896 - What was his name? - James. 321 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:20,696 - Good name. - 20. Just got his licence. 322 00:14:21,389 --> 00:14:23,895 - I can't believe I'm telling you this. - Hmm! 323 00:14:23,896 --> 00:14:27,295 Anyway, he... he came and picked me up in his car. 324 00:14:27,296 --> 00:14:31,135 It was a classic EH Holden, you know. 325 00:14:31,136 --> 00:14:33,814 And, um, we were driving around 326 00:14:33,815 --> 00:14:36,214 and Rod Stewart was playing on the radio. 327 00:14:36,215 --> 00:14:37,209 Nice. 328 00:14:37,225 --> 00:14:40,436 And then we went up to, um... oh, yeah, up to Kissing Point. 329 00:14:40,461 --> 00:14:41,504 Mmm! 330 00:14:41,505 --> 00:14:44,303 And, um, he was so nervous. 331 00:14:44,858 --> 00:14:46,223 One thing led to another, 332 00:14:46,224 --> 00:14:48,783 and we, you know, 333 00:14:48,784 --> 00:14:50,863 we had intercourse. 334 00:14:50,864 --> 00:14:55,209 He was so... he was just, like, so thankful. 335 00:14:55,234 --> 00:14:58,182 And then I... I realised, you know, 336 00:14:58,183 --> 00:15:01,022 it was the first time he'd seen a woman's flesh. 337 00:15:01,023 --> 00:15:02,821 Was he a virgin? 338 00:15:02,822 --> 00:15:05,141 Oh, wow! 339 00:15:05,142 --> 00:15:07,261 And, you know, I was sort of, like, 340 00:15:07,262 --> 00:15:09,901 "Wow. A couple of hours ago, you were a virgin." 341 00:15:09,902 --> 00:15:12,221 "And now, you're... you know, now you're a man." 342 00:15:12,222 --> 00:15:14,220 And I was there. I was a part of that. 343 00:15:14,221 --> 00:15:18,060 Like, I witnessed that. I was... Yeah. 344 00:15:18,061 --> 00:15:21,041 So it'll always be a special memory. 345 00:15:21,653 --> 00:15:23,159 - Just... - Completely. 346 00:15:23,485 --> 00:15:25,921 I wonder where James is now. 347 00:15:27,432 --> 00:15:30,144 I'd say he'd probably still be at laser tag. 348 00:15:30,843 --> 00:15:34,315 Sorry, so this was, like, recently? 349 00:15:36,478 --> 00:15:38,957 Two or three weeks ago. 350 00:15:38,958 --> 00:15:40,797 Oh, wow. Okay. 351 00:15:40,798 --> 00:15:43,236 - I mean, he's not The One or anything. - No. 352 00:15:43,237 --> 00:15:45,876 I mean, he's at laser tag. 353 00:15:45,877 --> 00:15:47,556 I think that says a lot. 354 00:15:47,557 --> 00:15:49,356 Yeah. 355 00:15:49,357 --> 00:15:51,836 But, yeah, special. 356 00:15:55,896 --> 00:15:59,775 Car 72, please report. Car 72, please report. 357 00:15:59,776 --> 00:16:03,495 Uh, Car 72, no activity. Thanks, April. 358 00:16:07,971 --> 00:16:09,650 I met April. 359 00:16:10,490 --> 00:16:11,850 You met April? 360 00:16:11,851 --> 00:16:14,649 - I met April when I first got in. - Did you? 361 00:16:14,650 --> 00:16:17,129 Me, April and, uh, the older lady. 362 00:16:17,130 --> 00:16:18,929 - Carol? - Carol. 363 00:16:18,930 --> 00:16:22,649 They showed me to my actual hotel and we... Yeah. 364 00:16:22,650 --> 00:16:26,274 - And there at the bar, and Carol left. - Ah. 365 00:16:26,274 --> 00:16:28,073 And April and I... 366 00:16:28,073 --> 00:16:33,071 I guess she gave me the official Australian, uh, greeting. 367 00:16:33,072 --> 00:16:34,831 I fucked her. 368 00:16:36,408 --> 00:16:38,447 Don't tell her that I told you. 369 00:16:38,448 --> 00:16:40,447 - April? April? - April. 370 00:16:40,449 --> 00:16:42,248 - In the bathroom. Yeah. - From Dispatch? 371 00:16:42,249 --> 00:16:43,927 - Blonde hair... - Yeah. 372 00:16:43,928 --> 00:16:45,767 She's, like, sucking my dick. I'm like, "What the...?" 373 00:16:45,768 --> 00:16:48,167 I go, "Honey, I'm gonna pop. I'm gonna pop. I'm gonna pop." 374 00:16:48,168 --> 00:16:50,247 - I'm not gonna lie... - I'm gonna get some Chinese food. 375 00:16:50,248 --> 00:16:52,207 You want some Chinese food? Do you want anything? 376 00:16:52,208 --> 00:16:54,366 - Sure. - Yeah? What would you like? 377 00:16:54,367 --> 00:16:57,326 I don't care. Some sort of chicken dish. Not too spicy. 378 00:16:57,327 --> 00:16:59,887 Okay. Uh, I'll be back in a minute. 379 00:17:02,379 --> 00:17:03,857 I'll just finish this story really fast. 380 00:17:03,858 --> 00:17:06,977 And a beef in the black bean sauce, please. 381 00:17:06,978 --> 00:17:08,737 - And, uh... - Sichuan. 382 00:17:08,738 --> 00:17:10,497 - Sichuan? - Sichuan. 383 00:17:10,498 --> 00:17:12,257 - You want the beef? - Yeah. 384 00:17:12,258 --> 00:17:14,776 And, uh, one serve of Sichuan beef. 385 00:17:14,777 --> 00:17:17,896 Uh... Oh, no, no. Spicy. 386 00:17:17,897 --> 00:17:21,096 No, no takeaway. I can be pick up. 387 00:17:21,136 --> 00:17:23,069 Thank you very much. 388 00:17:23,776 --> 00:17:26,775 Mate, that's... that's pretty racist, mate. 389 00:17:26,776 --> 00:17:28,815 Why? I was... I mean, I... 390 00:17:28,816 --> 00:17:32,695 I mean, what do you mean? I order Indian, Thai, Italian... 391 00:17:33,537 --> 00:17:34,866 You do all the accents? 392 00:17:34,891 --> 00:17:36,950 Well, it just makes it simple. 393 00:17:37,515 --> 00:17:40,574 And to be honest, I think, you know, it's appreciated if... 394 00:17:40,575 --> 00:17:42,374 ..gotta make a special effort. 395 00:17:42,375 --> 00:17:44,293 I welcome all cultures. 396 00:17:44,294 --> 00:17:45,813 What, by doing funny voices? 397 00:17:47,506 --> 00:17:48,875 You think that voice was funny? 398 00:17:50,294 --> 00:17:51,702 You're the racist. 399 00:17:52,910 --> 00:17:54,132 - Can I take this? - Yeah. 400 00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:55,693 See you in 10 minutes. 401 00:17:57,493 --> 00:17:59,852 Don't... don't do the accent when you go there, mate. 402 00:17:59,853 --> 00:18:01,572 You're the racist, mate. 403 00:18:01,963 --> 00:18:03,403 I am not. 404 00:18:04,633 --> 00:18:05,731 Am I? 405 00:18:05,732 --> 00:18:07,851 Intelligence suggests that the big boss 406 00:18:07,852 --> 00:18:11,131 may arrive at the warehouse sometime in the next 48 hours. 407 00:18:11,132 --> 00:18:14,570 Let's coordinate all units to converge here asap. 408 00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:17,090 Basically, he pulled what you thought was a weapon 409 00:18:17,091 --> 00:18:19,050 and then you shot him, yeah? 410 00:18:19,051 --> 00:18:20,530 - Bingo. - Terrif. Okay. 411 00:18:20,531 --> 00:18:22,729 I'll fill in all those other blanks later. 412 00:18:22,730 --> 00:18:24,489 We should do more of this. 413 00:18:24,490 --> 00:18:27,489 Fantastic, yeah. Give us a cuddle. 414 00:18:27,490 --> 00:18:30,809 Oh. No, look, that's fine. 415 00:18:30,810 --> 00:18:33,048 Um... listen, about your, um... 416 00:18:33,049 --> 00:18:35,768 I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I think you might... 417 00:18:36,817 --> 00:18:39,344 It might be a good idea for you to see a therapist 418 00:18:39,369 --> 00:18:41,488 or a counsellor or someone, you know? 419 00:18:41,489 --> 00:18:44,287 - But that's what you are. - No, I'm not. 420 00:18:45,212 --> 00:18:46,309 What are you? 421 00:18:46,737 --> 00:18:48,207 I'm from the courts. 422 00:18:48,827 --> 00:18:50,007 - What? - I'm just a... 423 00:18:50,008 --> 00:18:52,167 I'm a clerk from the courts. 424 00:18:52,168 --> 00:18:53,766 I've got to file an independent report 425 00:18:53,767 --> 00:18:55,905 on the shooting. 426 00:18:55,930 --> 00:18:57,489 That's why I'm here. 427 00:18:57,490 --> 00:18:59,784 Oh, that's bloody lovely, isn't it? 428 00:18:59,784 --> 00:19:03,382 Ha! I've been sitting here just pouring all my shit out to you. 429 00:19:03,382 --> 00:19:05,981 - And you were writing it down. - No, I wasn't. 430 00:19:05,982 --> 00:19:09,021 - Rub that shit out! - It won't go in the report. 431 00:19:09,022 --> 00:19:11,501 I'm just doing a report on the shooting. 432 00:19:11,502 --> 00:19:13,340 Everything about you says 'counsellor'. 433 00:19:13,341 --> 00:19:15,380 What says 'counsellor' about me? 434 00:19:15,381 --> 00:19:17,180 Your demeanour. Your... 435 00:19:17,181 --> 00:19:19,580 The way you had me in the foetal position on the couch. 436 00:19:19,581 --> 00:19:21,260 You put yourself in the foetal position. 437 00:19:21,261 --> 00:19:24,019 - You gave me tissues. - I never gave you tissues. 438 00:19:24,020 --> 00:19:26,059 I am outraged over this, right? 439 00:19:26,060 --> 00:19:29,819 I haven't even told my partner any of this stuff. 440 00:19:30,567 --> 00:19:33,818 You... Shit. 441 00:19:41,486 --> 00:19:44,045 Ah. Uh... 442 00:19:45,125 --> 00:19:49,764 Ah! Mate, you wouldn't happen to have 20 cents you could give me? 443 00:19:49,765 --> 00:19:51,844 - I'm... I'm short by 20 cents. - Oh, yeah. 444 00:19:51,845 --> 00:19:53,843 - It's ridiculous. - There's a dollar. Keep the change. 445 00:19:53,844 --> 00:19:55,443 Thank you very much. Let me give you... 446 00:19:55,444 --> 00:19:57,163 Give it as a tip. Honestly. 447 00:19:57,164 --> 00:19:58,843 - All right. Thanks. - Yeah. 448 00:19:58,844 --> 00:20:00,644 Thank you. 449 00:20:03,079 --> 00:20:04,282 Thanks, Tony. 450 00:20:04,283 --> 00:20:06,082 I'll just get this. 451 00:20:08,483 --> 00:20:12,562 You getting away? 452 00:20:12,880 --> 00:20:14,679 Holiday or road trip or...? 453 00:20:16,232 --> 00:20:20,168 - Oh, yeah. Uh... Road trip. - Ah. 454 00:20:23,216 --> 00:20:24,855 Yeah, with the old man. 455 00:20:24,856 --> 00:20:26,895 We're heading up to Emerald, 456 00:20:26,896 --> 00:20:29,655 on the Sapphire Coast, just north of Woolgoolga. 457 00:20:29,656 --> 00:20:32,095 - Oh, lovely. - Yeah, well. 458 00:20:32,096 --> 00:20:34,934 10 hours in the car with your old man's, you know... 459 00:20:34,935 --> 00:20:37,378 - Sometimes, uh... - Backseat driver? 460 00:20:37,403 --> 00:20:39,654 Well, front-seat driver. He insists on driving. 461 00:20:39,655 --> 00:20:41,774 Insists on talking every step of the way. 462 00:20:41,775 --> 00:20:43,373 If I had a dollar for every kilometre 463 00:20:43,374 --> 00:20:46,013 of good advice I got from the old man, 464 00:20:46,014 --> 00:20:47,493 I'd be a multimillionaire. 465 00:20:47,494 --> 00:20:49,253 Oh, mate, tell me about it. 466 00:20:49,254 --> 00:20:51,573 I'm heading home. Just been away with the wife and kids. 467 00:20:51,574 --> 00:20:53,412 Oh, it's school holidays, isn't it? 468 00:20:53,413 --> 00:20:55,012 - Yeah, it is. - Easter holidays. 469 00:20:55,013 --> 00:20:57,612 Yeah, that's right. We've gotta get the kids back to school. 470 00:20:57,613 --> 00:21:01,412 And, um, oh, my God, it's just... relentless. 471 00:21:01,413 --> 00:21:03,131 You know, "Mehmehmehmeh," in the back. 472 00:21:03,132 --> 00:21:04,811 And "Mehmehmehmeh! You missed the turn-off." 473 00:21:04,812 --> 00:21:06,291 You're just, "April, settle down. Back off." 474 00:21:06,292 --> 00:21:08,935 - How many kids you got? - Two. Twins. Yeah. 475 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:10,506 - Eight years old. - Yeah, right. 476 00:21:10,531 --> 00:21:11,738 Jeff and Donna. 477 00:21:12,612 --> 00:21:14,650 Older names, but they're family names. 478 00:21:14,651 --> 00:21:16,130 Yeah, right, from the family. 479 00:21:16,131 --> 00:21:19,130 And, you know, it's lovely and God bless family, 480 00:21:19,131 --> 00:21:21,170 but every now and then, it's all I can do 481 00:21:21,171 --> 00:21:23,849 to stop myself from swerving into oncoming traffic. 482 00:21:23,850 --> 00:21:25,329 - You know? - I know. 483 00:21:25,330 --> 00:21:27,969 If I had the freedom I had when I was single, you know? 484 00:21:27,970 --> 00:21:30,653 If I could bottle that. I never knew what I had when I had it. 485 00:21:30,678 --> 00:21:32,223 You don't know what you've got till it's gone. 486 00:21:32,248 --> 00:21:33,248 That's true. 487 00:21:33,249 --> 00:21:34,728 But family, you've gotta love 'em. 488 00:21:34,729 --> 00:21:36,768 It's everything. Family is everything. 489 00:21:36,769 --> 00:21:39,088 I mean, was it Mother Teresa who said 490 00:21:39,089 --> 00:21:41,155 if you wanna work towards world peace, 491 00:21:41,163 --> 00:21:43,001 just go home and love your family. 492 00:21:43,002 --> 00:21:44,561 - She said that? - Yeah. 493 00:21:44,562 --> 00:21:46,121 She didn't have any kids. 494 00:21:46,122 --> 00:21:47,681 No, no, she was a nun. 495 00:21:47,682 --> 00:21:49,681 But she had, you know, her orphanage. 496 00:21:49,682 --> 00:21:52,321 She saw a lot of... That's why they called her Mother. 497 00:21:52,322 --> 00:21:54,680 Like Michael Jackson. The world's just kind of family. 498 00:21:54,681 --> 00:21:56,680 Yeah, yeah, it wasn't a biological thing... 499 00:21:56,681 --> 00:21:59,121 - Yeah, right. - Is the point. 500 00:22:02,761 --> 00:22:04,399 Xie xie. 501 00:22:06,440 --> 00:22:08,199 Well, all the best with the old man. 502 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:10,959 Thanks for the, uh... 503 00:22:10,960 --> 00:22:12,479 - Don't mention it. - 20 cents. 504 00:22:12,480 --> 00:22:14,125 - All the best. - See you. 505 00:22:17,994 --> 00:22:19,713 Thank you very much. 506 00:22:19,714 --> 00:22:22,794 Is this the kung pao? Extra spicy? 507 00:22:59,006 --> 00:23:01,006 Synced & corrected by louvette www.addic7ed.com