1
00:00:05,129 --> 00:00:08,097
New Year's Day, 2017...

2
00:00:08,099 --> 00:00:09,999
The first year in a long time

3
00:00:10,001 --> 00:00:12,802
no one was declaring it
the year of anything.

4
00:00:12,804 --> 00:00:14,770
Yep, we'd finally given up.

5
00:00:14,772 --> 00:00:16,505
This is dumb. Turn it.

6
00:00:16,507 --> 00:00:18,307
Can't. Remote's gone.

7
00:00:18,309 --> 00:00:20,343
Mm. My nose hurts.

8
00:00:20,345 --> 00:00:22,478
I think I'm getting one
of those inside pimples.

9
00:00:22,480 --> 00:00:24,580
Okay, seriously, who's got the remote?

10
00:00:24,582 --> 00:00:26,415
You know, I had this dream last night.

11
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I think it was really good.

12
00:00:27,885 --> 00:00:29,318
- What was it?
- For the love of God,

13
00:00:29,320 --> 00:00:31,520
somebody find the remote
before she remembers.

14
00:00:31,522 --> 00:00:32,722
You're the one sitting on it!

15
00:00:32,724 --> 00:00:34,490
I'm too tired to get up.

16
00:00:34,492 --> 00:00:36,792
So, we're just gonna watch
"Who Ate It Best"?

17
00:00:36,794 --> 00:00:40,196
Oh, I've seen this one.
It's the pecan pie battle.

18
00:00:40,198 --> 00:00:42,398
All right, that's it.
I'm finding that remote.

19
00:00:43,401 --> 00:00:44,800
Ooh, ahh!

20
00:00:44,802 --> 00:00:46,535
Ooh... chips!

21
00:00:46,537 --> 00:00:48,871
Oh, Axl, that is so gross!

22
00:00:48,873 --> 00:00:50,439
But I'm hungry, so give me some.

23
00:00:50,441 --> 00:00:52,274
You know, there's a coupon
for pizza in the kitchen.

24
00:00:52,276 --> 00:00:53,442
Somebody get up and order.

25
00:00:55,013 --> 00:00:56,312
You know, someone else should do it.

26
00:00:56,314 --> 00:00:58,848
I'm having a really hard time today.

27
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:01,717
April's at her grandma's.
I'm stuck here with you people.

28
00:01:01,719 --> 00:01:05,354
I'm a divorcé staying with
my parents on New Year's Day.

29
00:01:05,356 --> 00:01:07,223
You think your 2017 is bad?

30
00:01:07,225 --> 00:01:09,125
When I go back to school,
I am still stuck

31
00:01:09,127 --> 00:01:11,894
in that fart bucket they call "The Bin."

32
00:01:11,896 --> 00:01:14,096
Not turning into a banner year
for me, either.

33
00:01:14,098 --> 00:01:16,265
Cindy had another growth spurt.

34
00:01:16,267 --> 00:01:19,268
Okay, clearly we're all
too pathetic to get up,

35
00:01:19,270 --> 00:01:21,937
so I guess we'll just have to go
with whoever has to pee.

36
00:01:21,939 --> 00:01:23,305
Oh, damn it!

37
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You know when someone says
"pee" I have to go.

38
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Check in the junk drawer
under the hammer.

39
00:01:30,181 --> 00:01:31,647
I think the coupons might be stuffed

40
00:01:31,649 --> 00:01:34,083
into Brick's graduation program.

41
00:01:37,587 --> 00:01:39,255
Let's see.

42
00:01:39,257 --> 00:01:41,490
Ooh, what is this?

43
00:01:41,492 --> 00:01:44,794
Oh, it's the Groupon I bought
for the Orson Escape Room.

44
00:01:44,796 --> 00:01:46,962
You guys, this expires today
and I already paid for it,

45
00:01:46,964 --> 00:01:48,130
so we have to go.

46
00:01:48,132 --> 00:01:49,398
What's an escape room?

47
00:01:49,400 --> 00:01:51,233
You go to this place with a team,

48
00:01:51,235 --> 00:01:52,501
and they lock you in a room.

49
00:01:52,503 --> 00:01:54,336
It has some kind of theme,
and you have to solve

50
00:01:54,338 --> 00:01:56,105
these puzzles and clues to get out.

51
00:01:56,107 --> 00:01:57,840
I think the fact that we still live here

52
00:01:57,842 --> 00:01:59,775
proves that we're no good
at escaping things.

53
00:01:59,777 --> 00:02:02,344
Look, this was the hottest
new thing 18 months ago.

54
00:02:02,346 --> 00:02:03,646
Oh, my God.

55
00:02:03,648 --> 00:02:06,482
This is what she's spending
our inheritance on?

56
00:02:06,484 --> 00:02:09,618
Hey, they are starving kids who
would give their right arms

57
00:02:09,620 --> 00:02:11,954
for the chance to pay money
to escape from a fake room.

58
00:02:11,956 --> 00:02:13,155
We're going.

59
00:02:16,593 --> 00:02:18,394
Great, now I'm a divorcé

60
00:02:18,396 --> 00:02:20,129
going to an escape room with my family.

61
00:02:20,131 --> 00:02:22,898
Congratulations, you've finally
pulled me down to your level.

62
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How long is this thing gonna take?

63
00:02:24,302 --> 00:02:25,267
An hour.

64
00:02:26,771 --> 00:02:29,271
Look, I've explained this three times,

65
00:02:29,273 --> 00:02:31,607
and I'm not gonna do it again...
We have a Groupon.

66
00:02:31,609 --> 00:02:33,008
But you know what? fine.

67
00:02:33,010 --> 00:02:35,377
If you guys don't want to go,
let's just go back inside.

68
00:02:35,379 --> 00:02:37,580
I feel like that's a trick.

69
00:02:37,582 --> 00:02:40,349
Don't you think I'd rather be
back on the couch watching TV

70
00:02:40,351 --> 00:02:42,818
instead of trying to make
memories with my stupid family?

71
00:02:42,820 --> 00:02:43,986
Hey, Nancy!

72
00:02:43,988 --> 00:02:46,555
Oh, hi, Frankie! Happy New Year!

73
00:02:46,557 --> 00:02:48,591
Uh, slow start for you guys, too, huh?

74
00:02:48,593 --> 00:02:50,459
Oh, no. We've been up for hours.

75
00:02:50,461 --> 00:02:51,994
It was the boys' turn to get up early

76
00:02:51,996 --> 00:02:53,729
and make New Year's breakfast
for the girls.

77
00:02:53,731 --> 00:02:56,532
Eggs, bacon, sausage...

78
00:02:56,534 --> 00:02:57,900
We kind of phoned it in this year.

79
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Oh.

80
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We had Pop-Tarts, 'cause we like

81
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to support American businesses.

82
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Now we're off to shovel
Mr. Jenkins' driveway.

83
00:03:04,742 --> 00:03:06,742
We just like to help
the elderly when we can.

84
00:03:06,744 --> 00:03:08,444
I mean, how can it be a happy new year

85
00:03:08,446 --> 00:03:10,146
if you don't do something for others?

86
00:03:10,148 --> 00:03:11,313
Yeah, well, helping others can be

87
00:03:11,315 --> 00:03:12,781
a little neglectful to your family.

88
00:03:12,783 --> 00:03:15,284
That's why we're going as a
family to the Orson Escape Room.

89
00:03:15,286 --> 00:03:18,220
Oh, we did that 18 months ago!

90
00:03:18,222 --> 00:03:20,422
Careful, buddy... There's a lot
of mirrors in there.

91
00:03:20,424 --> 00:03:21,657
I know how you get distracted.

92
00:03:21,659 --> 00:03:23,359
You know, uh, we Donahues,

93
00:03:23,361 --> 00:03:25,427
we still hold the record
for the fastest time.

94
00:03:25,429 --> 00:03:29,131
Yep... made it out with 1:08
left on the clock.

95
00:03:29,133 --> 00:03:30,533
Well, I think your record's safe,

96
00:03:30,535 --> 00:03:31,867
'cause we're probably gonna suck at it.

97
00:03:33,271 --> 00:03:35,271
That's what so great about you Hecks...

98
00:03:35,273 --> 00:03:36,805
You have fun no matter what.

99
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:44,813
What was that? That was rude!

100
00:03:44,815 --> 00:03:47,249
Yeah. Did we just get dissed
by the Donahues?

101
00:03:47,251 --> 00:03:49,251
Take it from someone with
a lifetime of experience...

102
00:03:49,253 --> 00:03:50,853
That was definitely a dissing.

103
00:03:50,855 --> 00:03:53,222
When I said we'll probably suck
at the escape room,

104
00:03:53,224 --> 00:03:55,691
they're supposed to say,
"No, you'll do great."

105
00:03:55,693 --> 00:03:56,959
That's the social contract.

106
00:03:56,961 --> 00:03:58,260
"Do I look fat in these jeans?"

107
00:03:58,262 --> 00:04:00,196
"No, you look great." Social contract.

108
00:04:00,198 --> 00:04:03,899
Yeah. You said we're dumb,
and she pig-piled on it.

109
00:04:03,901 --> 00:04:07,102
And what was that crack
about us always having fun?

110
00:04:07,104 --> 00:04:08,737
First of all, we don't have fun.

111
00:04:08,739 --> 00:04:09,972
That's true. We don't.

112
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Then Sean with his little dig
about mirrors.

113
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I don't need to check
myself out in mirrors.

114
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I know I look good.

115
00:04:16,214 --> 00:04:19,548
And Dotty with her little
"1:08 remaining."

116
00:04:19,550 --> 00:04:21,283
- Yeah.
- She thinks she's hot stuff,

117
00:04:21,285 --> 00:04:22,585
but I go to school with her.

118
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She apostrophe S's
when it's supposed to be plural.

119
00:04:24,689 --> 00:04:26,922
You see Ron giving me that smirk?

120
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Same smirk he had when he won
the giant spatula.

121
00:04:29,093 --> 00:04:32,294
Well, the Donahues are going down!

122
00:04:32,296 --> 00:04:33,729
We are gonna get out
of that stupid room,

123
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,514
- and we're gonna beat their time.
- Yeah!

124
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- Yeah!
- Okay.

125
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Right? Are you with me?
Come on, Hecks. Let's do this.

126
00:04:38,102 --> 00:04:39,301
Hands in!

127
00:04:39,303 --> 00:04:41,604
Ready? On the count of three.
One, two, three.

128
00:04:41,606 --> 00:04:43,272
- Escape room! - Go Hecks!
- Let's go! - "A Tale of Two Cities"!

129
00:04:43,274 --> 00:04:44,773
"A Tale of Two Cities"?

130
00:04:44,775 --> 00:04:46,709
I've never done a group cheer before.

131
00:04:46,711 --> 00:04:47,910
Oh.

132
00:04:53,015 --> 00:04:54,796
Welcome to Escape Orson.

133
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First of all, does anyone have
any medical conditions

134
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that would prevent them
from participating

135
00:04:57,893 --> 00:05:00,495
in the Escape Orson experience?

136
00:05:01,050 --> 00:05:03,129
We probably all have high cholesterol.

137
00:05:03,396 --> 00:05:05,697
Yeah, that's not on my list. Okay.

138
00:05:05,699 --> 00:05:08,333
The escape-room experience is
designed for groups of six,

139
00:05:08,335 --> 00:05:11,436
so you'll be paired with this
gentleman here... Milt.

140
00:05:11,438 --> 00:05:13,271
Oh. Nice to meet you.

141
00:05:13,273 --> 00:05:15,807
Just so you know, we're trying
to beat 1:08.

142
00:05:15,809 --> 00:05:19,410
But we've got a secret weapon...
our daughter, Sue, here.

143
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Any board game or puzzle
we play, she always wins.

144
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She just has a mind for it.
She's so good.

145
00:05:23,950 --> 00:05:25,416
No, no, no. I'm not.

146
00:05:25,418 --> 00:05:26,818
Yes, you are. See?

147
00:05:26,820 --> 00:05:28,453
Social contract. No, it's true.

148
00:05:28,455 --> 00:05:30,054
God gave her that one ability,

149
00:05:30,056 --> 00:05:31,823
and then literally nothing else.

150
00:05:31,825 --> 00:05:33,358
Well, sounds good to me.

151
00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:35,860
I'm just here for a little
excitement on my lunch hour.

152
00:05:35,862 --> 00:05:37,628
Your team will be entering
the laboratory

153
00:05:37,630 --> 00:05:39,764
of a mad scientist who's created a virus

154
00:05:39,766 --> 00:05:41,499
that, if released, will unleash an army

155
00:05:41,501 --> 00:05:42,834
of zombies upon the Earth.

156
00:05:42,836 --> 00:05:45,737
You'll have one hour to solve
the mystery and get out.

157
00:05:45,739 --> 00:05:47,305
You can ask for up to three clues,

158
00:05:47,307 --> 00:05:49,007
which I'll give you
on this walkie-talkie.

159
00:05:49,009 --> 00:05:51,409
Now, before your experience begins,

160
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I strongly suggest you use the restroom.

161
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I don't have to go. I promise.

162
00:05:57,916 --> 00:06:00,318
- See?
- Okay, let's do this!

163
00:06:00,320 --> 00:06:01,986
Those Donahues are going down!

164
00:06:01,988 --> 00:06:03,921
Okay, hands in. On the count of three.

165
00:06:03,923 --> 00:06:05,256
One, two, three.

166
00:06:05,258 --> 00:06:06,758
- Go Hecks!
- "The Red Badge of Courage"!

167
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:07,725
Brick.

168
00:06:07,727 --> 00:06:10,128
Sorry. It's no "Go Hecks."

169
00:06:16,301 --> 00:06:18,636
Mom! Did you see that guy?

170
00:06:18,638 --> 00:06:20,972
That's David S. Rosenthal!

171
00:06:20,974 --> 00:06:22,807
The author of the
"Planet Nowhere" book series

172
00:06:22,809 --> 00:06:24,876
as well as the official
"Out of this World Cookbook...

173
00:06:24,878 --> 00:06:26,677
How to Get Your Silligan
to Eat Their Vegetables?"

174
00:06:26,679 --> 00:06:28,813
What? No, it's not. It's Milt.

175
00:06:28,815 --> 00:06:30,815
Brick, I don't think a
billionaire author is going

176
00:06:30,817 --> 00:06:33,251
to be doing the Orson Escape
Room on New Year's Day.

177
00:06:33,253 --> 00:06:34,752
Why would he be here?

178
00:06:34,754 --> 00:06:37,388
It's not my job to ask "Why is he here?"

179
00:06:37,390 --> 00:06:40,291
It's my job to freak out
that he is here!

180
00:06:41,894 --> 00:06:44,986
Okay, you've got one hour.
Your time starts now.

181
00:06:45,698 --> 00:06:47,465
- I have to pee.
- What?! -

182
00:06:47,467 --> 00:06:49,734
I didn't know there'd be
bubbling beakers!

183
00:06:49,736 --> 00:06:52,470
Okay, everyone spread out
and look for clues.

184
00:06:54,673 --> 00:06:57,041
I'm telling you... It's him.
It's definitely him.

185
00:06:57,043 --> 00:06:58,609
I just saw Milt
looking through a microscope

186
00:06:58,611 --> 00:07:01,045
with his left eye,
which means he's left-handed.

187
00:07:01,047 --> 00:07:03,614
David S. Rosenthal is also left-handed!

188
00:07:03,616 --> 00:07:05,016
No. Come on, Brick. Stop messing around.

189
00:07:05,018 --> 00:07:06,184
We got less than an hour.

190
00:07:06,186 --> 00:07:08,152
Let me explain this in a way
you can understand...

191
00:07:08,154 --> 00:07:11,089
Pretend you saw
insert-famous-sports-guy here.

192
00:07:11,091 --> 00:07:12,523
Tell me you wouldn't be all over that.

193
00:07:12,525 --> 00:07:15,760
You got me. Clues.

194
00:07:15,762 --> 00:07:18,362
Come on, Sue!
You're the game master here.

195
00:07:18,364 --> 00:07:19,564
Get in the zone.

196
00:07:19,566 --> 00:07:20,832
We got to beat the Donahues.

197
00:07:20,834 --> 00:07:22,467
If we don't, it's all your fault

198
00:07:22,469 --> 00:07:24,302
and civilization as we know it
is destroyed.

199
00:07:24,304 --> 00:07:25,837
But, hey, no pressure.

200
00:07:25,839 --> 00:07:27,672
Okay, I have tried every side
of the maze,

201
00:07:27,674 --> 00:07:29,307
but the key won't reach the cabinet.

202
00:07:29,309 --> 00:07:31,509
Well, why don't you just move
the cabinet, Einstein?

203
00:07:31,511 --> 00:07:33,044
It's bolted to the floor, Galileo.

204
00:07:33,046 --> 00:07:36,013
Well, then, why don't you just
move the maze, other smart guy?

205
00:07:36,015 --> 00:07:37,915
You can't just move the...

206
00:07:42,055 --> 00:07:43,221
Oh, it's open.

207
00:07:43,223 --> 00:07:45,089
Oh, good job, Sue!

208
00:07:45,091 --> 00:07:46,891
Looks like medical files or something.

209
00:07:46,893 --> 00:07:48,993
Here... Everybody take one
and look for clues.

210
00:07:51,096 --> 00:07:54,765
Okay, uh, it says here
that Dr. I.N. Sane

211
00:07:54,767 --> 00:07:56,367
was fired by the chairman
of the board...

212
00:07:56,369 --> 00:07:57,768
Frank Sinatra.

213
00:07:57,770 --> 00:07:59,737
- What?
- That was my dream. I remember it now.

214
00:07:59,739 --> 00:08:01,839
Me and Frank Sinatra were making out.

215
00:08:01,841 --> 00:08:04,075
Hang on. You were making out
with Frank Sinatra?

216
00:08:04,077 --> 00:08:06,878
Yeah, well, not the old one,
and not the scrawny young one...

217
00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:08,713
the good middle-aged one
with a little meat on his bones.

218
00:08:08,715 --> 00:08:10,333
I told you it was a good dream.

219
00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:14,318
Ooh. Hey, everybody,

220
00:08:14,320 --> 00:08:17,321
I have discovered two things
about this mirror.

221
00:08:17,323 --> 00:08:19,590
One... Whatever the lighting
in this place is,

222
00:08:19,592 --> 00:08:20,858
I look great in it.

223
00:08:20,860 --> 00:08:23,294
And two... pretty sure that's the word

224
00:08:23,296 --> 00:08:25,363
"brain" on the wall over there?

225
00:08:25,365 --> 00:08:28,499
Brains in jars! Clue, people, clue!

226
00:08:28,501 --> 00:08:33,104
Oh, my God. These people in
the zombie room are so pathetic.

227
00:08:35,407 --> 00:08:38,609
So, Milt...

228
00:08:38,611 --> 00:08:42,747
is that short for anything,
like "David"?

229
00:08:42,749 --> 00:08:45,683
Okay, uh, five, seven, six, two!

230
00:08:47,720 --> 00:08:49,253
I'm just gonna say it... At this point,

231
00:08:49,255 --> 00:08:51,255
is the zombie apocalypse
really that bad?

232
00:08:51,257 --> 00:08:52,323
Sue, what's going on?

233
00:08:52,325 --> 00:08:53,891
You're usually all over this stuff.

234
00:08:53,893 --> 00:08:55,560
Yeah, I know.

235
00:08:55,562 --> 00:08:57,195
I am. I usually am.

236
00:08:57,197 --> 00:08:58,829
I-I-I think I just ate something bad.

237
00:08:58,831 --> 00:09:00,331
Maybe some bad couch chips.

238
00:09:00,333 --> 00:09:01,599
Well, we need a plan.

239
00:09:01,601 --> 00:09:03,401
Why doesn't this family
ever have a plan?

240
00:09:03,403 --> 00:09:05,736
We can't just keep trying
everything willy-nilly.

241
00:09:05,738 --> 00:09:07,572
We're going, like, "Ooh, what's this?"

242
00:09:07,574 --> 00:09:08,739
"What's this?"

243
00:09:08,741 --> 00:09:09,740
Wait. What was is this?

244
00:09:09,742 --> 00:09:10,775
Should I ask for a clue?

245
00:09:10,777 --> 00:09:11,909
I think I'm gonna ask for a clue.

246
00:09:11,911 --> 00:09:13,177
Oh, my God!

247
00:09:13,179 --> 00:09:14,579
When I look through
this red lens at the chart,

248
00:09:14,581 --> 00:09:15,613
I see numbers underneath.

249
00:09:15,615 --> 00:09:17,215
Try three, one, eight, four.

250
00:09:17,217 --> 00:09:19,317
W-W-W-Wait... So, if you hold
the magnifying glass

251
00:09:19,319 --> 00:09:20,484
over the chart, something happens?

252
00:09:20,486 --> 00:09:21,519
Yes.

253
00:09:21,521 --> 00:09:22,653
You use the red glass

254
00:09:22,655 --> 00:09:23,988
to decode the numbers.

255
00:09:23,990 --> 00:09:25,523
You have used your first clue.

256
00:09:25,525 --> 00:09:27,091
Sue, we'd already figured it out!

257
00:09:27,093 --> 00:09:29,060
You wasted a clue! I'm sorry.

258
00:09:29,062 --> 00:09:30,828
I didn't realize my finger
was on the button.

259
00:09:30,830 --> 00:09:32,196
Never mind.

260
00:09:32,198 --> 00:09:33,464
We're in.

261
00:09:36,268 --> 00:09:38,269
Another room.

262
00:09:39,404 --> 00:09:40,871
Okay, that one looks complicated.

263
00:09:40,873 --> 00:09:43,207
Sue, you take that.
Everybody else, spread out.

264
00:09:48,772 --> 00:09:49,939
David.

265
00:09:50,616 --> 00:09:52,016
David?

266
00:09:52,018 --> 00:09:55,086
So, uh, what exactly were you
doing with Frank Sinatra?

267
00:09:55,088 --> 00:09:58,055
It was nothing...
just kissing, teenage stuff.

268
00:09:58,057 --> 00:10:01,025
And it wasn't all physical.
There was witty banter.

269
00:10:01,027 --> 00:10:02,593
He said, "I'm gonna take a steam."

270
00:10:02,595 --> 00:10:05,496
And I said, "Now"?
We were funny together.

271
00:10:05,498 --> 00:10:07,465
Yeah. You know he had writers.

272
00:10:07,467 --> 00:10:08,599
They all had writers.

273
00:10:08,601 --> 00:10:10,067
So, did all this stuff happen
in our house?

274
00:10:10,069 --> 00:10:12,903
Ew! No! I would never take
Frank Sinatra to our house.

275
00:10:12,905 --> 00:10:15,339
We were someplace nice.
We were on a bearskin rug.

276
00:10:15,341 --> 00:10:17,441
So, you were a cliché.
I don't need to know any more.

277
00:10:17,443 --> 00:10:18,676
This whole thing is disturbing.

278
00:10:18,678 --> 00:10:20,044
Disturbing?

279
00:10:20,046 --> 00:10:21,679
Okay, I've got three clues!

280
00:10:21,681 --> 00:10:24,115
He has a wife,
he smells like sandalwood...

281
00:10:24,117 --> 00:10:25,983
That was in a
"Parade Magazine" profile...

282
00:10:25,985 --> 00:10:29,186
And M-I-L-T?

283
00:10:29,188 --> 00:10:32,923
Morvan, Ilquan, Lingee, and Tuut?

284
00:10:32,925 --> 00:10:34,692
The four planets of the Kalakwa Galaxy

285
00:10:34,694 --> 00:10:35,660
in the "Planet Nowhere" books.

286
00:10:35,662 --> 00:10:37,028
That can't be a coincidence!

287
00:10:37,030 --> 00:10:38,095
Did you drink some of that

288
00:10:38,097 --> 00:10:39,563
brain juice from the other room?

289
00:10:39,565 --> 00:10:42,133
Hey, I don't care what you guys think.

290
00:10:42,135 --> 00:10:43,968
That is David S. Rosenthal.

291
00:10:43,970 --> 00:10:47,305
I will never forgive myself
if I don't get his autograph.

292
00:10:47,307 --> 00:10:49,740
Full disclosure...
I did not drink the brain juice,

293
00:10:49,742 --> 00:10:51,350
but I did lick the jar.

294
00:10:51,352 --> 00:10:53,444
Brick, where did you get
that pen and paper?

295
00:10:53,446 --> 00:10:54,779
In that cabinet right there.

296
00:10:54,781 --> 00:10:57,281
There's a secret drawer with
keys inside and a book of codes.

297
00:10:59,385 --> 00:11:02,086
Hi. We'd like our third clue.

298
00:11:02,088 --> 00:11:04,121
Hello? Hello?!

299
00:11:04,123 --> 00:11:06,123
We're the Hecks in the zombie room.

300
00:11:07,759 --> 00:11:09,727
I don't get it. Where is Rowdy?

301
00:11:09,729 --> 00:11:11,128
What is the point of even having a Rowdy

302
00:11:11,130 --> 00:11:12,330
if she's not there?

303
00:11:12,332 --> 00:11:14,165
Let's go check the other camera.

304
00:11:14,900 --> 00:11:16,334
Oh, my God, Sue, you're so slow!

305
00:11:16,336 --> 00:11:17,335
Let's get this thing moving.

306
00:11:17,337 --> 00:11:18,369
I already texted Sean

307
00:11:18,371 --> 00:11:19,370
and called them the Down-ahues,

308
00:11:19,372 --> 00:11:21,072
so failure is not an option.

309
00:11:21,074 --> 00:11:23,808
Is it hot in here? I am so hot.

310
00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:25,576
I don't get it. Why are you
choking all of a sudden?

311
00:11:25,578 --> 00:11:26,711
You're totally good at this stuff,

312
00:11:26,713 --> 00:11:27,945
and now you're face-planting big time.

313
00:11:27,947 --> 00:11:29,313
I don't know, okay?

314
00:11:29,315 --> 00:11:31,982
I'm just getting turned around.
I'm all turned around.

315
00:11:31,984 --> 00:11:34,652
Maybe I just need a break.

316
00:11:34,766 --> 00:11:36,199
You want to take a break?

317
00:11:36,686 --> 00:11:37,834
What is wrong with you?

318
00:11:37,836 --> 00:11:41,037
How did I lose every game to you
all these years?

319
00:11:41,039 --> 00:11:42,731
You didn't.

320
00:11:43,575 --> 00:11:44,574
What?

321
00:11:44,576 --> 00:11:46,509
I cheated.

322
00:11:46,511 --> 00:11:48,144
You mean like you cheated sometime?

323
00:11:48,146 --> 00:11:50,441
No, every time, all the time.

324
00:11:50,982 --> 00:11:52,648
"Monopoly"? I made myself banker

325
00:11:52,650 --> 00:11:54,784
and slid myself money under the table.

326
00:11:54,786 --> 00:11:55,985
"Celebrity"?

327
00:11:55,987 --> 00:11:57,687
If I got a name on a card I didn't know,

328
00:11:57,689 --> 00:11:58,855
I would just make one up.

329
00:11:58,857 --> 00:12:00,556
My go-to was always a Disney Princess.

330
00:12:00,558 --> 00:12:02,859
"Mystery Date"? It was
never a mystery to me.

331
00:12:02,861 --> 00:12:04,560
Oh, my God.

332
00:12:04,562 --> 00:12:07,630
Okay, look...
It all started when I was three

333
00:12:07,632 --> 00:12:10,600
and Mom and Dad would play games
with me and let me win.

334
00:12:10,602 --> 00:12:13,936
Winning became my obsession
and my curse.

335
00:12:13,938 --> 00:12:17,874
In the end, it was Miss Sue,
in the family room,

336
00:12:17,876 --> 00:12:19,475
with every game.

337
00:12:19,477 --> 00:12:21,177
Wow.

338
00:12:21,179 --> 00:12:23,312
Wow, wow, wow,

339
00:12:23,314 --> 00:12:25,414
wow, wow, wow.

340
00:12:25,416 --> 00:12:26,949
Who knew Little Miss Perfect

341
00:12:26,951 --> 00:12:28,718
was a dirty, lying cheater?

342
00:12:28,720 --> 00:12:30,219
Shh! Shh!

343
00:12:30,221 --> 00:12:32,255
I can't believe I thought you
were better than me at games.

344
00:12:32,257 --> 00:12:35,258
You know what that did to my
psyche, to my confidence level?

345
00:12:35,260 --> 00:12:37,260
You're the most confident person
in the world.

346
00:12:37,262 --> 00:12:39,195
Yeah, but I could have had more.

347
00:12:39,197 --> 00:12:40,830
Axl, please don't tell Mom and Dad.

348
00:12:40,832 --> 00:12:42,598
This is all I have.

349
00:12:42,600 --> 00:12:44,133
You don't know what it's like to be me.

350
00:12:44,135 --> 00:12:46,469
You were the football star.
Brick is the reader.

351
00:12:46,471 --> 00:12:48,237
I am just the trier.

352
00:12:48,239 --> 00:12:50,907
Do you know how hard it is
year after year

353
00:12:50,909 --> 00:12:52,441
to be the trier?

354
00:12:52,443 --> 00:12:54,644
Fine. I'll keep your secret...

355
00:12:54,646 --> 00:12:56,045
partly because it's so pathetic

356
00:12:56,047 --> 00:12:57,480
and partly because I am really impressed

357
00:12:57,482 --> 00:12:59,048
you were able to cheat at "Marco Polo."

358
00:12:59,050 --> 00:13:01,484
I opened my eyes. Oh, my God.

359
00:13:01,486 --> 00:13:02,585
I didn't even think of that.

360
00:13:02,587 --> 00:13:04,387
Thank you so much
for not saying anything.

361
00:13:04,389 --> 00:13:06,889
I will never forget this.
You're the best, Axl.

362
00:13:06,891 --> 00:13:08,658
At everything, yes,
it's been established now.

363
00:13:08,660 --> 00:13:10,626
But we've wasted too much time
talking about this,

364
00:13:10,628 --> 00:13:12,728
and, as usual, it's up to me
to save my family

365
00:13:12,730 --> 00:13:14,063
from the zombie apocalypse...

366
00:13:14,065 --> 00:13:17,300
starting with this wall,
which is obviously fake.

367
00:13:30,247 --> 00:13:32,716
So, what exactly did you mean
by "disturbing"?

368
00:13:32,810 --> 00:13:35,010
- What?
- You said my dream was disturbing.

369
00:13:35,012 --> 00:13:36,841
That's a pretty strong word.

370
00:13:37,214 --> 00:13:38,947
Well, you're messing around
with another man.

371
00:13:38,949 --> 00:13:40,749
You don't think I should be
disturbed by that?

372
00:13:40,751 --> 00:13:41,617
It's a dream.

373
00:13:41,619 --> 00:13:42,618
Haven't you ever had a dream

374
00:13:42,620 --> 00:13:44,049
about a celebrity before...

375
00:13:44,051 --> 00:13:46,822
Phoebe Cates or Lindsay Wagner
or somebody?

376
00:13:46,824 --> 00:13:48,257
I don't have dreams.

377
00:13:48,259 --> 00:13:49,658
I'm not talking about in life.

378
00:13:49,660 --> 00:13:51,093
I'm talking about when you're asleep.

379
00:13:51,095 --> 00:13:53,262
So am I... I go to sleep, it's dark,

380
00:13:53,264 --> 00:13:55,064
I wake up, put on my shoes, and go.

381
00:13:55,066 --> 00:13:57,800
What? That can't be true.
Everybody dreams.

382
00:13:57,802 --> 00:14:00,769
Not me. Dreaming is just showing
off while you're asleep.

383
00:14:00,771 --> 00:14:03,072
Look, it was nothing.
You know how dreams are.

384
00:14:03,074 --> 00:14:05,841
Well, apparently you don't,
but most people do.

385
00:14:05,843 --> 00:14:08,010
Anyway, it started out
with me in the bathroom

386
00:14:08,012 --> 00:14:09,211
and the gorilla in the next stall

387
00:14:09,213 --> 00:14:10,512
was handing me toilet paper.

388
00:14:10,514 --> 00:14:12,881
And then, all of a sudden,
I'm backstage at The Sands

389
00:14:12,883 --> 00:14:15,284
with Frank and we're having
a shrimp cocktail.

390
00:14:15,286 --> 00:14:16,752
And then the stage manager knocked

391
00:14:16,754 --> 00:14:18,520
and said it was time to go on,
and Frank said,

392
00:14:18,522 --> 00:14:20,189
"Tell Sammy to do five more minutes."

393
00:14:20,191 --> 00:14:22,191
And then he asked me how my day was,

394
00:14:22,193 --> 00:14:23,827
and I told him, and we made out.

395
00:14:24,760 --> 00:14:27,634
Frank Sinatra, the original Danny Ocean,

396
00:14:28,032 --> 00:14:29,665
asked you about your day?

397
00:14:29,667 --> 00:14:32,501
Yeah. Maybe he was interested in me.

398
00:14:32,503 --> 00:14:34,236
That's just dumb.

399
00:14:36,873 --> 00:14:39,842
Oh, I can't believe we're gonna
blow our one chance in life

400
00:14:39,844 --> 00:14:41,510
to beat the Donahues.

401
00:14:41,512 --> 00:14:43,812
They're not the Down-ahues,
they're the Perfect-hues.

402
00:14:43,814 --> 00:14:45,914
They're good at everything,
unlike some people

403
00:14:45,916 --> 00:14:48,650
who just pretend they're good
at stuff when they're not.

404
00:14:49,987 --> 00:14:51,687
Ah! God, it's bright.

405
00:14:51,689 --> 00:14:52,955
Ahh! Geez, come on.

406
00:14:55,191 --> 00:14:57,593
The key! It's got to be for the door!

407
00:14:57,595 --> 00:14:58,760
How are we supposed to get this?

408
00:14:58,762 --> 00:14:59,995
Oh, look. Look at the letters.

409
00:14:59,997 --> 00:15:01,630
I think we got to make words
with the switches.

410
00:15:01,632 --> 00:15:04,066
Okay, Sue, get in there.
It's your time to shine.

411
00:15:04,068 --> 00:15:06,635
Yeah, shine away, you little star, you.

412
00:15:08,172 --> 00:15:11,807
Listen, Milt, I just want you to know

413
00:15:11,809 --> 00:15:14,209
I get it that sometimes
you might need an escape.

414
00:15:14,211 --> 00:15:16,311
You know, I myself am a writer.

415
00:15:16,313 --> 00:15:17,579
So far it's only been a sentence,

416
00:15:17,581 --> 00:15:18,881
but it's been very well received.

417
00:15:18,883 --> 00:15:20,411
Oh, yeah? Well, what is it?

418
00:15:21,152 --> 00:15:23,507
Really? You'd like to hear it?

419
00:15:23,888 --> 00:15:25,619
Wow. Okay.

420
00:15:26,123 --> 00:15:28,490
I always keep it with me
in case I want to noodle on it.

421
00:15:30,628 --> 00:15:34,062
"As his eyes fluttered open,

422
00:15:34,064 --> 00:15:37,599
the boy saw the sun
had already gently nudged awake

423
00:15:37,601 --> 00:15:40,502
its captives,
yesterday's mistakes vanished

424
00:15:40,504 --> 00:15:43,071
to wispy nothings,
and the father he thought

425
00:15:43,073 --> 00:15:45,684
long dead was standing at his door."

426
00:15:46,343 --> 00:15:47,595
Hey, that's great.

427
00:15:48,279 --> 00:15:49,311
Really?!

428
00:15:49,313 --> 00:15:51,113
D-Do you have any notes or advise?

429
00:15:51,115 --> 00:15:52,948
No, no, no. I wouldn't change a word.

430
00:15:52,950 --> 00:15:54,950
Mom, Mom! What do you got?

431
00:15:54,952 --> 00:15:57,386
David S. Rosenthal loves my sentence!

432
00:15:57,388 --> 00:15:59,421
It's inspired me to finish my novel.

433
00:15:59,423 --> 00:16:02,491
Which pose do you like for the
book jacket... this or this?

434
00:16:02,493 --> 00:16:03,926
Not now, Brick. Time's running out.

435
00:16:03,928 --> 00:16:05,314
Sue needs quiet.

436
00:16:05,996 --> 00:16:07,796
Okay, okay... Five-letter word...

437
00:16:07,798 --> 00:16:09,464
Uh..."Chair"! "Chair"!

438
00:16:10,367 --> 00:16:11,767
Uh, "Table"! No, "Zombies"!

439
00:16:11,769 --> 00:16:13,035
That's not even five letters.

440
00:16:13,037 --> 00:16:14,970
Look, what about that list
of patients we found?

441
00:16:14,972 --> 00:16:17,372
Dr. I.N. Sane's first patient was Clara.

442
00:16:17,374 --> 00:16:19,841
Try that. No, there were
100 names on that list.

443
00:16:19,843 --> 00:16:21,643
Just let Sue do this.
She's our best chance.

444
00:16:21,645 --> 00:16:23,045
You got this, Sue. Oh, my God!

445
00:16:23,047 --> 00:16:24,546
I'm telling you, try "Clara."

446
00:16:24,548 --> 00:16:26,048
Axl, shush. I don't want to hear it.

447
00:16:26,050 --> 00:16:27,049
No one's getting out of here

448
00:16:27,051 --> 00:16:28,283
if you don't let me work those levels!

449
00:16:28,285 --> 00:16:29,651
Your family sure does fight a lot.

450
00:16:29,653 --> 00:16:30,786
Oh, "Orson"!

451
00:16:30,788 --> 00:16:32,354
Well, at least when we get
the door open,

452
00:16:32,356 --> 00:16:34,156
you get to leave.

453
00:16:34,158 --> 00:16:35,507
I'm stuck with them.

454
00:16:35,509 --> 00:16:37,092
I'm telling you, she's not gonna get it.

455
00:16:37,094 --> 00:16:38,860
Axl, what is the matter with you?

456
00:16:38,862 --> 00:16:40,329
Why do you always
have to bring her down?

457
00:16:40,331 --> 00:16:41,563
This is the one thing she's good at.

458
00:16:41,565 --> 00:16:42,664
Can't she just have that?

459
00:16:42,666 --> 00:16:44,633
Oh, is she... Is she good at this?

460
00:16:44,635 --> 00:16:46,668
Axl, I'm not gonna
say it again... shut it.

461
00:16:46,670 --> 00:16:48,904
Sue's our best shot at this.
Come on, Sue. Take us home.

462
00:16:48,906 --> 00:16:52,574
Um... Belle! N... Ariel. Pocahontas!

463
00:16:52,576 --> 00:16:54,643
She's just naming Disney Princesses!

464
00:16:54,645 --> 00:16:56,378
That's it! I can't hold it anymore.

465
00:16:56,380 --> 00:16:57,579
It's for the good of the family.

466
00:16:57,581 --> 00:16:59,214
Sue's a big, fat cheater.

467
00:16:59,216 --> 00:17:01,049
That's right. She's cheated
at every game she's ever played.

468
00:17:01,051 --> 00:17:02,551
She palms marbles. She stacks decks.

469
00:17:02,553 --> 00:17:03,552
You ever played "Sorry!" with her?

470
00:17:03,554 --> 00:17:05,454
Well, sorry, you got screwed.

471
00:17:05,456 --> 00:17:07,122
Sue, is that true?

472
00:17:08,324 --> 00:17:10,158
He's right!

473
00:17:10,327 --> 00:17:11,893
I don't know what I'm doing.

474
00:17:11,895 --> 00:17:13,428
We are gonna lose to the Donahues,

475
00:17:13,430 --> 00:17:15,430
and it is all my fault.

476
00:17:15,432 --> 00:17:18,200
I am a cheater.

477
00:17:18,202 --> 00:17:21,036
But that ends today.

478
00:17:21,038 --> 00:17:23,238
I am not gonna let my past define me.

479
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:27,342
I am moving forward
with confidence, with honor.

480
00:17:27,344 --> 00:17:30,912
Starting now, Sue Heck wins for real!

481
00:17:32,583 --> 00:17:34,316
Time has expired.

482
00:17:34,318 --> 00:17:36,551
The zombie apocalypse has begun.

483
00:17:36,553 --> 00:17:38,387
Mankind is doomed.

484
00:17:38,389 --> 00:17:40,322
Please exit through the fail door.

485
00:17:40,324 --> 00:17:42,557
No!

486
00:17:42,559 --> 00:17:45,594
No! We're not entering 2017
through the fail door.

487
00:17:45,596 --> 00:17:48,063
We have done it every year,
and I am sick of it.

488
00:17:48,065 --> 00:17:50,068
Mom, just admit it... we suck.

489
00:17:50,070 --> 00:17:52,301
No, if anybody sucks, it's Rowdy.

490
00:17:52,303 --> 00:17:53,802
We asked for a clue,
and she didn't get back to us

491
00:17:53,804 --> 00:17:55,670
- for at least two minutes.
- Yeah.

492
00:17:55,672 --> 00:17:57,272
- That's true.
- That's not fair.

493
00:17:57,907 --> 00:17:59,456
Hey, Rowdy,

494
00:17:59,458 --> 00:18:01,009
we want our two minutes.

495
00:18:01,011 --> 00:18:02,577
I'm meeting my cousin for dinner.

496
00:18:02,579 --> 00:18:05,180
Look, I may not care about much,

497
00:18:05,182 --> 00:18:07,749
I barely care about this,
but I know what's right,

498
00:18:07,751 --> 00:18:09,318
and so do you, Rowdy!

499
00:18:09,320 --> 00:18:11,720
You know you owe us two minutes.

500
00:18:11,722 --> 00:18:13,121
Fine.

501
00:18:15,025 --> 00:18:16,625
Okay, let's do this.

502
00:18:16,627 --> 00:18:17,965
Axl, you're up. Yep.

503
00:18:18,762 --> 00:18:22,030
C-L-A-R-A.

504
00:18:22,032 --> 00:18:24,499
Ah-ah-ah-ahh!

505
00:18:26,102 --> 00:18:27,936
Yes, we got it, we got it, we got it.

506
00:18:27,938 --> 00:18:28,937
Whoo.

507
00:18:28,939 --> 00:18:30,572
Suck it, Donahu...

508
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,974
No!

509
00:18:32,976 --> 00:18:35,177
Why does 2017 have it out for us?

510
00:18:35,179 --> 00:18:37,346
Why won't this stupid door open?

511
00:18:37,348 --> 00:18:38,513
Come on, open!

512
00:18:38,515 --> 00:18:40,449
W-W-Wait. You see that?

513
00:18:41,150 --> 00:18:44,686
O-P-E-N.

514
00:18:44,688 --> 00:18:46,588
Oh, my God!

515
00:18:46,590 --> 00:18:49,424
We did it, Hecks... and Milt!

516
00:18:49,426 --> 00:18:51,193
Whoo! And check it out!

517
00:18:51,195 --> 00:18:52,294
We beat the Donahues!

518
00:18:54,398 --> 00:18:56,098
I don't know who these Donahues are,

519
00:18:56,100 --> 00:18:57,599
but we kicked their butts!

520
00:18:57,601 --> 00:19:00,435
- Yeah, we did!
- Okay, everybody, hands in!

521
00:19:00,437 --> 00:19:01,636
What's the book?

522
00:19:01,638 --> 00:19:02,571
"The Catcher in the Rye"!

523
00:19:02,573 --> 00:19:04,206
Okay, one, two, three.

524
00:19:04,208 --> 00:19:06,074
"The Catcher in the Rye"!

525
00:19:09,278 --> 00:19:10,412
Yes!

526
00:19:10,414 --> 00:19:11,713
Give me a high five!

527
00:19:11,715 --> 00:19:13,415
Give me another one!

528
00:19:18,640 --> 00:19:20,308
So, how was your day?

529
00:19:20,310 --> 00:19:21,409
What do you mean, how was my day?

530
00:19:21,411 --> 00:19:23,010
You were there. We beat the Donahues.

531
00:19:23,012 --> 00:19:24,712
It was awesome.
Yeah, well, I don't know.

532
00:19:24,714 --> 00:19:27,014
You're dreaming about guys
asking you about your day,

533
00:19:27,016 --> 00:19:29,083
and I know we've been
pretty busy lately,

534
00:19:29,085 --> 00:19:30,851
and I don't always ask, so I thought,

535
00:19:31,747 --> 00:19:33,154
you know, maybe I should.

536
00:19:33,156 --> 00:19:35,656
Oh. Well, it was good.

537
00:19:35,658 --> 00:19:37,124
Thanks.

538
00:19:42,732 --> 00:19:44,532
Let's see what you dream about tonight.

539
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,039
Well, Milt, it's an honor that someone

540
00:19:52,041 --> 00:19:54,842
of your esteemed profession
likes what I do.

541
00:19:54,844 --> 00:19:57,211
I will carry your approval
with me always.

542
00:19:58,280 --> 00:20:00,514
Okay, then. See you around.

543
00:20:12,861 --> 00:20:14,295
Look around.

544
00:20:14,297 --> 00:20:15,796
No zombies anywhere!

545
00:20:15,798 --> 00:20:17,798
You're welcome, mankind.

546
00:20:17,800 --> 00:20:21,168
Oh, my God. Winning without
cheating feels amazing.

547
00:20:21,170 --> 00:20:22,803
It is so much better.

548
00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:25,172
And I finally have a certificate
for my wall

549
00:20:25,174 --> 00:20:26,707
that doesn't say "Participant."

550
00:20:26,709 --> 00:20:27,842
Yeah!

551
00:20:29,245 --> 00:20:31,612
Everyone has a different kind of escape.

552
00:20:31,614 --> 00:20:33,881
Sometimes we escape into a good book,

553
00:20:33,883 --> 00:20:36,083
sometimes we escape into our dreams.

554
00:20:36,085 --> 00:20:37,952
But one thing you can't escape from

555
00:20:37,954 --> 00:20:40,788
is the Hecks after a rare victory.

556
00:20:43,191 --> 00:20:44,692
Oh, hey, Nancy.

557
00:20:44,694 --> 00:20:46,460
Just got back from the escape room...

558
00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:48,796
Made it out with 1:21 to spare.

559
00:20:48,798 --> 00:20:50,364
What was your time again?

560
00:20:50,366 --> 00:20:52,066
1:08.

561
00:20:52,068 --> 00:20:55,102
Oh, hey, Sean, turns out
when I looked in the mirror,

562
00:20:55,104 --> 00:20:57,405
all I saw was a guy who kicked your ass.

563
00:20:57,407 --> 00:20:58,706
Yeah, I don't know, Ron.

564
00:20:58,708 --> 00:21:00,041
If this mojo keeps up,

565
00:21:00,043 --> 00:21:01,075
I wouldn't get too attached

566
00:21:01,077 --> 00:21:02,343
to that giant spatula.

567
00:21:02,345 --> 00:21:04,578
Yep. Says right here
on the certificate...

568
00:21:04,580 --> 00:21:06,147
The Hecks won.

569
00:21:06,149 --> 00:21:08,849
No apostrophe necessary, Dotty.

570
00:21:09,885 --> 00:21:12,486
Well, that's impressive, you guys.

571
00:21:12,488 --> 00:21:14,722
I guess you're just better
at this than we are.

572
00:21:14,724 --> 00:21:16,891
You know, that's what's great
about you Donahues...

573
00:21:16,893 --> 00:21:18,626
You have fun no matter what.

574
00:21:18,628 --> 00:21:21,095
Happy New Year.

575
00:21:26,499 --> 00:21:32,806
Synced & corrected by -robtor-
www.addic7ed.com