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- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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Hi, it's Poodle, leave a message.
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Oh, hey, Poodle.
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Hey, it's me, Mickey, again.
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Uh, remember me? The one
you saddled with your kids,
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who are awful, by the way.
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Listen, I was just...
I had this thought that
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maybe if you had a couple spare minutes,
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you could give 'em a call
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and let them know
that you fled the country
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and left them with a total stranger,
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you stupid, selfish monsters!
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Anyway, give me a call.
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Aah!
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Okay.
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You got this.
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Ah! Touchdown!
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Her turn, hit her with a shrimp!
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No, no, thank you.
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I'm not trying to get hepatitis.
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I want hepatitis.
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Coming your way, buddy!
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This is awesome, right, guys?
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Why are we in a poor person's restaurant?
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What's the matter with you?
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It's not a poor person's
restaurant... don't be an ass.
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This guy's not even Japanese.
His name's Pedro.
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All right, well,
Hamilton wasn't Puerto Rican,
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but people seem to be
enjoying that just fine.
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All right, listen, I brought
you guys here because I,
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I got to tell you some pretty
big news, and it's not...
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- Pass.
- Pass? What are...?
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You gonna pop those in right now?
Are you kidding me?
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Fine. Forget you. Ben, Chip, listen.
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- This is going to be pretty hard to...
- Hey, Ben,
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I dare you to lick the grill.
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What? Shut up! Just listen to me.
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What's it taste like?
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Oh, it's delicious! Come on,
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I'll give you a thousand bucks.
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No, don't. He does not
have a thousand dollars.
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- Boom.
- Oh, my God.
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You are a nightmare.
Ben, don't do it, okay?
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Will you just please listen?
Sabrina, this is serious.
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Don't touch my stuff, psycho.
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I just thought you might like to
know that your parents are gone
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and they're not coming back.
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They're dead?
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No, no. Not dead.
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They're definitely not dead.
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But they did flee the country.
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That doesn't make any sense.
They didn't do anything wrong.
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Uh, I don't, I don't, I don't know.
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I'm not going to touch that one.
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No, I don't believe you. You're lying.
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Why would I lie about that?
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Um, I don't know, maybe because
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you're a lying bitch.
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Okay, look, I understand this
is really hard stuff to hear.
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It's not hard to hear.
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It's actually really easy.
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I, like, literally don't care at all.
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Okay, well the pitch of
your voice is making it seem
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- like you care a lot.
- I don't care!
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It's just... it's embarrassing, that's all.
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Yes, it is, it is, agreed.
It's very embarrassing.
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Let's just keep our voices down, okay?
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These gentlemen are trying
to enjoy their dinner.
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You think I care about these idiots?
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Uh, sorry.
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What is wrong with you?
You're making a scene.
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Oh, oh. I'm so, I'm so sorry.
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Let me make it right.
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How is that for a scene?
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Dinner and a show! Lap it up, you dogs!
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Hey, get-get back over here right now!
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Oh, don't tell us what to do!
You're not our mom.
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- You're just looking for a handout.
- Hey, Sabrina...
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You with your bad hair
and your Dumpster clothes!
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I know what you're up to,
and I'll tell you something,
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you're not going to get away with that.
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Aah...!
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Well, I hope you're
very proud of yourself.
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Your brother has burned
off all of his taste buds.
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I'd like to apologize
for my behavior.
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I understand, as the
new patriarch of this family,
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you are all looking to me to set the tone,
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- and I fell short.
- Stop it, okay?
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Nobody's looking to you for anything.
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Oh, I'm sorry. You think you're in charge?
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We're not gonna listen
to a single word you say.
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Well, you're not gonna have to.
'Cause I'm catching
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the last chopper out of Saigon.
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You're leaving?
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Yeah, Alba, I'm leaving.
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Have you seen that car
outside? That's a pig.
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Probably FBI. And I'm pretty
sure the IRS is not far behind.
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And once all this is gone,
Alba, all that's left is this.
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And nobody wants just this.
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Well, where you gonna go?
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I'm gonna go back to Rhode Island.
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Where I have no responsibilities
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and nobody to answer to.
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So, unemployed and alone?
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Sounds neat.
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I wish I could bash you.
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Okay, thank you for your time, Mackenzie,
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but I think I've got it from here.
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Oh, wonderful. I bet you do, Chip.
Great. But just in case,
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I've called your dad's parents,
and they're on their way.
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The colonel? No way. That guy's a legend.
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I've modeled my entire career after him.
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O-Oh, yes. I-I like
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the colonel very much.
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When I was a little girl,
he came to my village
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in Guatemala and built the hospital.
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And then he brought me and
my mother back to the States.
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He would call me his libélula...
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Dragonfly.
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And you've been trapped here ever since?
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Ugh. You're like a veal.
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- Got to get out more.
- Wait,
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aren't he and Grandma Tippy,
like, 100 years old?
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They sounded about 1,000 on
the phone, so I'm gonna
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get out of here before I get stuck
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talking about soup or whatever.
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Fine, go.
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You think I care?
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Why are you taking our stuff?
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Call it payment for services rendered.
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You get that for living in
our mansion for three days?
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Well, I was eyeing the G-wagon
but I didn't want to be
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gassing up the whole time,
so I decided to go solar.
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- It's electric.
- I know, right?
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Wait, wait, wait, wait.
I'm coming with you.
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What? No, you're not.
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W... We are friends, yes?
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Well, I mean, yeah.
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We're friendly.
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But I... You know, I-I already
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got the rug and...
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Plus, the kids need you.
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- No, we don't.
- Take her.
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Miss Mickey, when I
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smashed that man over the head,
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I felt an animal in my
chest wake up and roar.
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I would very much
like to feel that again.
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Okay. I mean, how am I
supposed to argue with that?
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Fine, come along for a couple days,
but you got to keep up,
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all right? I don't feel like babysitting.
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Otherwise I'd stay with these animals.
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Oh, uh...
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but i-it's up to you, Benito.
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I will only go if I have your blessing.
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- Okay.
- Mm.
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Okay, let's go.
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Well, that about does it. Good luck to you.
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Uh, take care of yourselves.
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And if you need anything at all,
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do not hesitate to call 911.
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Hold onto your nips,
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this kitty can purr.
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What's shakin', bacon?
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Excuse me?
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You're excused.
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A little hustle, please.
The colonel's waiting.
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So what?
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So show some respect.
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He's a freaking war hero.
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Dude went buck wild on Korea.
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Look at this beast.
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If there was ever a guy to
surrender the patriarch role to,
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it's this stud.
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What?
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Hello!
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Oh, my goodness,
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look how big you've all gotten!
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Sabrina.
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My beautiful angel.
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And Chip, such a dashing young gentleman.
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You remind me of my husband.
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Oh, and Ben, my poor baby.
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I heard about that
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little accident you had.
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Hello, Grandma.
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Now, it has been a long day,
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so why don't we all go upstairs
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and change into our PJs?
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Yeah, sorry, Grandma,
that's not gonna work for me.
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I've got a party to go to tonight.
And I probably won't
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get home until late, so, you know
what, don't wait up for me.
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You guys... Oh!
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I realize you children
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aren't used to having rules,
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but all that's going to change. Now,
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be a good girl and do as Grandma says.
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No.
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Whoa.
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I think you'll find I have
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very little tolerance
for back sass, dear.
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Upstairs.
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So, of course,
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I'm trying to convince
him it was just a rash,
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- but, you know, he wasn't buying it.
- Oh.
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You know, when I was a little girl,
a rash spread
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through our village and
nearly took all of the women.
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- Oh. Right on.
- Yeah.
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Very cool that we both
have rash stories.
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So, this is it. Home, sweet home.
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Oh, yeah, I live real
close to the airport.
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Super convenient. Thirsty?
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Yeah.
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- Cheers.
- Oh.
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Ah.
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Mm.
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- Mm-hmm.
- Oh.
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- Mm, mm.
- There we go.
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Cheers.
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Jimmy?!
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Holy crap, you're alive.
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Oh, you look good.
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- What? No. Get-Get off of me!
- You look really good.
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- What are you doing?
- Oh, I'm happy to see you.
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- Hi. Hey.
- Mm.
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- I'm Jimmy.
- Oh.
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- I'm the boyfriend.
- He's not my boyfriend.
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Oh, come on. We've been
plowing for, like, ten years...
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What are you doing here, Jimmy?
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Are you living in my place?
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No. The... the pipe is just, like...
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Oh, the pipe? Yeah, and it...
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there's a, there's a...
you got a drippy...
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I got a drippy?
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I missed the smells.
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Okay, well, you can smell my ass
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when you kiss it good-bye. Leave.
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Okay, you know what, I'm
sensing some major hostility here,
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which is fine,
but is it about the car thing?
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The car thing where you ran me over?
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- Yeah.
- Yes, it is.
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Okay. Well, I said I was sorry.
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No, you didn't say you were sorry.
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I'm saying it now.
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Jimmy, you didn't even stop.
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I thought you were dead!
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Did you stop?
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Did you stop and think
about how it made me feel?
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Get out!
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I'm serious. Get out.
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Oh, fine!
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Well, guess what. I don't need this,
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and I don't need you and
I don't need this robe.
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Come on. Keep the robe.
I don't want the robe.
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No, I don't want it.
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It makes me think of you, and I hate it.
256
00:08:42,227 --> 00:08:43,860
Wha...
257
00:08:43,862 --> 00:08:45,128
Hold on.
258
00:08:45,130 --> 00:08:46,930
Did you get a new tattoo?
259
00:08:46,932 --> 00:08:48,765
Yeah, I did.
260
00:08:49,868 --> 00:08:51,068
I regret it.
261
00:08:51,070 --> 00:08:51,868
Mm.
262
00:08:51,870 --> 00:08:54,571
Oh. And a word to the wise:
263
00:08:54,573 --> 00:08:56,540
that loan shark from the Indian casino,
264
00:08:56,542 --> 00:08:58,909
he's been poking around,
so when he comes to get...
265
00:08:58,911 --> 00:09:01,311
He reminds me of my cousin, Victor.
266
00:09:01,313 --> 00:09:03,046
In the womb for 14 months.
267
00:09:03,048 --> 00:09:04,281
Big head.
268
00:09:04,283 --> 00:09:05,782
- Very sad.
- Yeah.
269
00:09:05,784 --> 00:09:07,351
Don't pay attention
to him. He's no one.
270
00:09:07,353 --> 00:09:08,585
Hey, you want to get out of here,
271
00:09:08,587 --> 00:09:10,053
go crank the lights up on this town?
272
00:09:10,055 --> 00:09:11,955
I don't know what you say.
273
00:09:11,957 --> 00:09:13,457
That's okay. Uh, just take this,
274
00:09:13,459 --> 00:09:15,225
and I will explain the rest later.
275
00:09:15,227 --> 00:09:18,261
Oh. No. No, thank you.
276
00:09:18,263 --> 00:09:19,963
Oh, don't worry... It's super mild.
277
00:09:19,965 --> 00:09:22,599
Oh, no, no, I-I can't,
'cause I have a sensitive stomach.
278
00:09:22,601 --> 00:09:24,468
- Me, too. Just take half.
- No, it's-it's no good.
279
00:09:24,470 --> 00:09:26,703
Just put it on your tongue and
tell me what it tastes like.
280
00:09:26,705 --> 00:09:28,071
- I can't do it! It's not good.
- Alba,
281
00:09:28,073 --> 00:09:29,806
- friends trust each other.
- Plea...
282
00:09:29,808 --> 00:09:31,375
I said no!
283
00:09:31,377 --> 00:09:33,710
I'll fire you if you don't.
284
00:09:36,145 --> 00:09:38,001
I'm just kidding!
285
00:09:38,003 --> 00:09:40,584
Oh, I'm so sorry.
Your face. I scared you.
286
00:09:40,586 --> 00:09:42,219
I can't fire you... You're not even mine.
287
00:09:43,355 --> 00:09:46,189
- You don't have to take it.
- Oh, thank you.
288
00:09:46,191 --> 00:09:47,457
'Cause you already took it.
289
00:09:47,459 --> 00:09:48,859
- Wait, what?
- Mm.
290
00:09:48,861 --> 00:09:51,328
I popped one in your beer earlier.
291
00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:53,964
Uh... no, y-you're joking.
292
00:09:53,966 --> 00:09:56,466
This is a joke, right?
293
00:09:56,468 --> 00:09:58,468
- Of course I'm joking!
- Oh.
294
00:09:58,470 --> 00:09:59,836
Who would do that?
295
00:09:59,838 --> 00:10:01,938
- Oh... I can't tell, I can't tell.
- I know.
296
00:10:01,940 --> 00:10:03,407
Actually, I'm joking about joking.
297
00:10:03,409 --> 00:10:05,108
I'd say you have about ten minutes.
298
00:10:05,110 --> 00:10:07,377
Wha...? Oh. Oh, no, no.
299
00:10:07,379 --> 00:10:09,012
Yeah. You know what,
I'm gonna go freshen up.
300
00:10:09,014 --> 00:10:10,781
- This is gonna be fun.
- Don't leave. No.
301
00:10:10,783 --> 00:10:13,216
Oh.
302
00:10:15,003 --> 00:10:16,386
Oh! What are you doing?
303
00:10:16,388 --> 00:10:17,921
I was gonna go make a grilled cheese.
304
00:10:17,923 --> 00:10:19,523
- What are you doing?
- I'm going out.
305
00:10:19,525 --> 00:10:20,623
What if Grandma wakes up?
306
00:10:20,625 --> 00:10:22,492
Well, you can tell her
to eat a big fat...
307
00:10:22,494 --> 00:10:24,127
And where might you two be going?
308
00:10:24,129 --> 00:10:25,495
I was just going to
make a grilled cheese.
309
00:10:25,497 --> 00:10:26,963
Huh?
310
00:10:26,965 --> 00:10:29,766
No, I-I was gonna
go make a grilled cheese.
311
00:10:29,768 --> 00:10:31,868
Ah, what a coincidence... Everyone's got
312
00:10:31,870 --> 00:10:34,404
a midnight hankering
for some grilled cheese.
313
00:10:34,406 --> 00:10:37,140
Okay, fine, I'm going out.
My friend Fuji is deejaying.
314
00:10:37,142 --> 00:10:39,443
Oh, how fun. Did you hear that, Colonel?
315
00:10:39,445 --> 00:10:41,778
- Fuji is deejaying.
- Look, it's not
316
00:10:41,780 --> 00:10:43,547
that big of a deal...
I'm just going dancing.
317
00:10:43,549 --> 00:10:46,149
Oh. Well, why didn't you say so?
You can dance right here.
318
00:10:46,151 --> 00:10:47,083
What?
319
00:10:47,085 --> 00:10:49,419
You heard me. Dance.
320
00:10:49,421 --> 00:10:51,321
Come on, Grandma, this is insane.
321
00:10:51,323 --> 00:10:52,522
Dance!
322
00:10:58,464 --> 00:11:01,765
You gentlemen aren't going to
let a lady dance alone, are you?
323
00:11:01,767 --> 00:11:03,567
Go on.
324
00:11:03,569 --> 00:11:05,135
Join her.
325
00:11:06,905 --> 00:11:09,539
That's better.
326
00:11:09,541 --> 00:11:11,475
Now we're having fun.
327
00:11:17,182 --> 00:11:19,349
How you doing over there?
328
00:11:19,351 --> 00:11:21,785
- I... Good, I think.
- Yeah?
329
00:11:21,787 --> 00:11:23,653
My legs are heavy, but...
330
00:11:23,655 --> 00:11:25,455
my mind is light.
331
00:11:25,457 --> 00:11:28,458
And my back is slick
with a river of sweat.
332
00:11:28,460 --> 00:11:30,627
I feel relaxed but...
333
00:11:30,629 --> 00:11:32,229
also focused.
334
00:11:32,231 --> 00:11:34,164
- Kind of warm, too.
- Mm-hmm.
335
00:11:34,166 --> 00:11:36,199
Overall, good. I feel good!
336
00:11:36,201 --> 00:11:38,235
Great. That was a lot of info there.
337
00:11:38,237 --> 00:11:39,669
- Thank you so much.
- Yeah. Mm.
338
00:11:39,671 --> 00:11:41,771
Mm!
339
00:11:41,773 --> 00:11:43,607
Whoa-whoa! That's not
what you want to gulp.
340
00:11:43,609 --> 00:11:45,175
- Mm-mm. Mm.
- No... no guzzling.
341
00:11:45,177 --> 00:11:46,676
All right, that's on you.
342
00:11:46,678 --> 00:11:47,944
Do you want to go dance?
343
00:11:47,946 --> 00:11:50,080
Yeah, lead the way, bitch! Yeah!
344
00:12:06,365 --> 00:12:08,331
Mm-hmm.
345
00:12:29,344 --> 00:12:32,668
Aah! We're gonna die!
346
00:12:33,838 --> 00:12:35,972
- What? What?
- Okay, okay, we're home.
347
00:12:35,974 --> 00:12:38,374
We're home. Right on.
348
00:12:38,376 --> 00:12:40,877
Ay. Oh, my mind is in pain.
349
00:12:40,879 --> 00:12:42,178
Oh, Alba,
350
00:12:42,180 --> 00:12:43,713
God, do you have to scream?
351
00:12:43,715 --> 00:12:45,381
It's like nails in a blender.
352
00:12:45,383 --> 00:12:48,150
Let's just get inside and
pass out, and then...
353
00:12:48,152 --> 00:12:50,987
Wait, why is my window open?
354
00:12:52,323 --> 00:12:54,824
Didn't Jimmy mention
something about a loan shark?
355
00:12:54,826 --> 00:12:57,560
Hold on a second.
I got to make a phone call.
356
00:12:57,562 --> 00:13:01,264
- Oh, the words you say mean n-nothing.
- Just shu... sh-sh-sh-shush.
357
00:13:01,266 --> 00:13:02,665
- Yo.
- You're killing me.
358
00:13:02,667 --> 00:13:04,367
Oh, hey, Jimmy, hey. How's my big, sexy
359
00:13:04,369 --> 00:13:06,002
side of beef, huh? What are you doing?
360
00:13:06,004 --> 00:13:08,104
Just dumping out. I ate some leftover clams
361
00:13:08,106 --> 00:13:10,606
for breakfast... they're
wreaking havoc on my insides.
362
00:13:10,608 --> 00:13:12,275
What's up with you?
363
00:13:13,278 --> 00:13:14,710
Nothing. Uh...
364
00:13:14,712 --> 00:13:17,413
I just was hoping that
you could come over here
365
00:13:17,415 --> 00:13:19,649
and... wreak havoc on my insides.
366
00:13:19,651 --> 00:13:22,218
Oh. You do, do you?
367
00:13:22,220 --> 00:13:23,452
Yeah. Big-time.
368
00:13:23,454 --> 00:13:25,967
Uh... get over here. Take me.
369
00:13:25,969 --> 00:13:27,123
You asked for it.
370
00:13:27,125 --> 00:13:28,218
I'm gonna mop up, and
I'll be right ov...
371
00:13:28,220 --> 00:13:29,796
I mean...
372
00:13:31,896 --> 00:13:33,896
Grandma says come down for break...
373
00:13:33,898 --> 00:13:35,398
What are you doing?
374
00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:37,967
This woman needs to know
who she's messing with.
375
00:13:37,969 --> 00:13:40,269
- You sure that's a good idea?
- Oh, it's all part of the dance.
376
00:13:40,271 --> 00:13:42,371
She came at me, now I'll come at her,
377
00:13:42,373 --> 00:13:45,942
and round and round we'll go in
this cruel little game of wits.
378
00:13:45,944 --> 00:13:47,510
You sound insane.
379
00:13:47,512 --> 00:13:48,477
Do I?!
380
00:13:48,479 --> 00:13:50,613
I learned it from Mickey.
381
00:13:50,615 --> 00:13:53,249
At least she appreciated
a healthy rivalry.
382
00:13:53,251 --> 00:13:55,151
Come on.
383
00:13:55,153 --> 00:13:56,919
Ah.
384
00:13:56,921 --> 00:13:57,887
Ow!
385
00:13:57,889 --> 00:13:59,288
That's the colonel's bacon!
386
00:13:59,290 --> 00:14:01,724
You can have bacon when you earn bacon.
387
00:14:01,726 --> 00:14:04,927
You children have been spoiled rotten.
388
00:14:04,929 --> 00:14:06,262
I mean, for goodness' sake,
389
00:14:06,264 --> 00:14:07,730
Ben is the only one
390
00:14:07,732 --> 00:14:09,298
of you with any manners.
391
00:14:09,300 --> 00:14:12,134
Now, I suppose it's not
entirely your fault.
392
00:14:12,136 --> 00:14:15,137
I blame my idiot son and
that whore mother of yours.
393
00:14:15,139 --> 00:14:17,006
But I will restore dignity
394
00:14:17,008 --> 00:14:20,609
to our family if it's the last thing I do.
395
00:14:20,611 --> 00:14:22,178
Chip, from now on,
396
00:14:22,180 --> 00:14:23,779
you'll be the colonel's apprentice.
397
00:14:23,781 --> 00:14:25,681
You can start by cutting
his food into little pieces
398
00:14:25,683 --> 00:14:27,216
and feeding him.
399
00:14:27,218 --> 00:14:28,718
Doesn't he have a nurse for that?
400
00:14:28,720 --> 00:14:30,486
He does. You.
401
00:14:30,488 --> 00:14:32,989
And, uh, little Miss Rosemary Kennedy here
402
00:14:32,991 --> 00:14:34,156
will learn to behave
403
00:14:34,158 --> 00:14:37,226
like a lady, or she will
suffer the consequences.
404
00:14:37,228 --> 00:14:38,627
Yes, Grandma. Whatever you say.
405
00:14:38,629 --> 00:14:40,262
Good.
406
00:14:40,264 --> 00:14:44,600
Now, if you don't mind,
I'd like to enjoy my coffee.
407
00:14:47,238 --> 00:14:49,171
Oh!
408
00:14:49,173 --> 00:14:50,473
What?
409
00:14:50,475 --> 00:14:51,607
What?
410
00:14:51,609 --> 00:14:53,809
You ruined my blouse, you wrinkly bitch!
411
00:14:53,811 --> 00:14:57,079
Your blouse was ruined by
your inability to fill it out.
412
00:14:57,081 --> 00:14:58,514
Now, go put on
413
00:14:58,516 --> 00:15:00,416
a fresh pot.
414
00:15:07,759 --> 00:15:10,693
Let's do this.
415
00:15:10,695 --> 00:15:12,261
Oh, yeah, here we go.
416
00:15:12,263 --> 00:15:13,929
Oh, yeah.
417
00:15:17,935 --> 00:15:19,135
Oh, sh...
418
00:15:20,872 --> 00:15:21,904
Wait, wait.
419
00:15:24,842 --> 00:15:25,706
Ooh.
420
00:15:26,477 --> 00:15:27,543
My goodness.
421
00:15:30,615 --> 00:15:31,614
Mickey?
422
00:15:32,817 --> 00:15:35,151
Mickey.
423
00:15:35,153 --> 00:15:36,886
- Time to boogie.
- Do something!
424
00:15:36,888 --> 00:15:38,020
Don't worry, I got this.
425
00:15:38,022 --> 00:15:39,221
Suck solar, bitch.
426
00:15:43,361 --> 00:15:44,393
What-What's happening?
427
00:15:44,395 --> 00:15:46,862
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
428
00:15:46,864 --> 00:15:48,397
Hey.
429
00:15:50,401 --> 00:15:52,601
$4,200, Mick.
430
00:15:52,603 --> 00:15:53,936
Where is it?
431
00:15:53,938 --> 00:15:55,304
Where do you think it is?
432
00:15:55,306 --> 00:15:57,406
- Do I look like I'm playing games?
- Okay.
433
00:15:57,408 --> 00:16:00,242
I don't have it. But what do you
say you take that car out front
434
00:16:00,244 --> 00:16:01,310
and we call it even, huh?
435
00:16:01,312 --> 00:16:02,445
I don't want your stolen car.
436
00:16:02,447 --> 00:16:04,380
I'm a loan shark, not a car thief.
437
00:16:04,382 --> 00:16:06,982
Sit. Both of you.
438
00:16:06,984 --> 00:16:11,854
Mickey, I am scared.
Your life is very sad.
439
00:16:11,856 --> 00:16:13,556
Yes, I know that, okay? Thank you.
440
00:16:13,558 --> 00:16:14,657
I want to go home to Greenwich.
441
00:16:14,659 --> 00:16:16,692
It's too late. We've burned that bridge.
442
00:16:16,694 --> 00:16:17,493
You burned that bridge.
443
00:16:17,495 --> 00:16:18,494
We both burned that bridge.
444
00:16:18,496 --> 00:16:19,995
It doesn't matter who lit the match.
445
00:16:19,997 --> 00:16:22,198
We must beg their forgiveness.
Mr. Chip will give you
446
00:16:22,200 --> 00:16:23,833
- the money to pay for this mess.
- No.
447
00:16:23,835 --> 00:16:26,168
I am not borrowing money
from a 12-year-old.
448
00:16:27,004 --> 00:16:28,204
Honestly, Mickey,
449
00:16:28,206 --> 00:16:29,538
I'm depressed for you.
450
00:16:29,540 --> 00:16:30,940
You literally have nothing.
451
00:16:30,942 --> 00:16:32,408
Yeah, that's what I said.
452
00:16:32,410 --> 00:16:35,244
Well, I hate to do it,
but you leave me no choice.
453
00:16:35,246 --> 00:16:37,346
Put your hand flat on the table.
454
00:16:37,348 --> 00:16:39,748
Okay, look, I know you got to
do the whole tough guy routine,
455
00:16:39,750 --> 00:16:41,383
but, listen, you and I, we all know
456
00:16:41,385 --> 00:16:43,018
that you're not actually gonna hit a lady.
457
00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:45,354
Oh, my God!
458
00:16:45,356 --> 00:16:47,756
Oh! You crushed me!
459
00:16:47,758 --> 00:16:49,625
Next hand. Hurry. I got to
pick my boy up from day care.
460
00:16:49,627 --> 00:16:51,594
No, no, no, no, no!
I got the money, I got the money.
461
00:16:51,596 --> 00:16:54,063
- Where? - It's in Connecticut.
Just give me a couple hours.
462
00:16:54,065 --> 00:16:55,131
You think I'm an idiot?
463
00:16:55,133 --> 00:16:57,466
- Give me that hand!
- No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
464
00:16:57,468 --> 00:16:59,702
I'll leave you Alba as collateral.
465
00:16:59,704 --> 00:17:00,469
What?!
466
00:17:00,471 --> 00:17:02,071
- Hurry.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
467
00:17:02,073 --> 00:17:04,473
- What?
- Please don't leave me.
468
00:17:04,475 --> 00:17:07,143
Alba, listen to me. You got
to trust me right now, okay?
469
00:17:07,145 --> 00:17:08,477
- Please trust me.
- No,
470
00:17:08,479 --> 00:17:10,246
I don't trust you. You drugged me.
471
00:17:10,248 --> 00:17:11,313
Well, that was for your own good.
472
00:17:11,315 --> 00:17:13,149
I mean, look how far you've come.
473
00:17:13,151 --> 00:17:15,818
All right, listen,
474
00:17:15,820 --> 00:17:17,620
I need you to do me a favor.
I did you a favor.
475
00:17:17,622 --> 00:17:20,022
It's your turn to do me a favor.
That's what best friends do.
476
00:17:20,725 --> 00:17:22,091
We are best friends?
477
00:17:22,093 --> 00:17:24,093
Well, I don't know. Are we?
478
00:17:24,095 --> 00:17:25,707
- Yeah...
- All right.
479
00:17:26,923 --> 00:17:31,281
"Meh, meh, meh. Look at me.
I'm the colonel. I'm a war hero."
480
00:17:31,283 --> 00:17:33,450
I'll show you a war, you old bastard.
481
00:17:34,687 --> 00:17:36,520
What happened to you?!
482
00:17:36,522 --> 00:17:37,854
I loved you, Grandpa!
483
00:17:37,856 --> 00:17:39,056
I loved you!
484
00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:42,326
What are you doing?
485
00:17:42,328 --> 00:17:43,260
Huh?
486
00:17:44,396 --> 00:17:47,497
Nothing. Just, uh, meditating.
487
00:17:47,499 --> 00:17:48,385
Oh.
488
00:17:48,387 --> 00:17:49,776
What happened to your face?
489
00:17:49,778 --> 00:17:51,568
Oatmeal Boobs threw away my makeup.
490
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,703
Do you always look like that?
491
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,854
Shut up. I was up all
night dancing the Charleston.
492
00:17:54,856 --> 00:17:56,173
The woman is awful.
493
00:17:56,175 --> 00:17:58,175
Tell me about it.
The colonel's ruining my life.
494
00:17:58,177 --> 00:17:59,676
What are you talking about?
The guy's a vegetable.
495
00:17:59,678 --> 00:18:03,280
He is a manipulative scumbag,
and he needs to be stopped.
496
00:18:05,051 --> 00:18:06,692
Just hear me out, okay?
'Cause I know that...
497
00:18:06,694 --> 00:18:08,417
Oh, thank God you're here.
You got to help us.
498
00:18:08,419 --> 00:18:10,187
You left us alone with
an abusive lunatic.
499
00:18:10,189 --> 00:18:11,789
What happened to your face?
500
00:18:11,791 --> 00:18:12,790
- Spooky, right?
- Yeah.
501
00:18:12,792 --> 00:18:13,891
Are you gonna help us or not?
502
00:18:13,893 --> 00:18:15,325
Uh...
503
00:18:15,327 --> 00:18:19,496
Guys, Alba and I got a pretty
sweet thing going on, so...
504
00:18:19,498 --> 00:18:20,197
Name your price.
505
00:18:20,199 --> 00:18:21,865
Well, you are family.
506
00:18:21,867 --> 00:18:23,700
So I guess I'll have to take that
507
00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:25,569
into consideration. Ugh.
508
00:18:25,571 --> 00:18:27,371
I'll come down to $4,200.
509
00:18:27,373 --> 00:18:28,972
Bizarrely specific but fine.
510
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:30,207
Okay, just get them out of here,
511
00:18:30,209 --> 00:18:31,942
'cause if I have to scrub
the colonel's disgusting
512
00:18:31,944 --> 00:18:34,711
tattooed carcass one more time,
I'm gonna lose my mind.
513
00:18:34,713 --> 00:18:36,580
Guy's got tattoos, huh?
That's pretty sweet.
514
00:18:36,582 --> 00:18:37,834
He's got a cross, a
dragonfly, some weird
515
00:18:37,836 --> 00:18:38,982
- poem about the sea...
- Hold on a second.
516
00:18:38,984 --> 00:18:41,018
He has a dragonfly tattoo?
517
00:18:41,020 --> 00:18:43,220
Yeah. It's big.
It's right on his wrinkly tit.
518
00:18:43,222 --> 00:18:44,555
- Right here?
- Yeah.
519
00:18:44,557 --> 00:18:47,524
Oh, my God.
520
00:18:47,526 --> 00:18:50,427
Tippy. Hey, super sorry
521
00:18:50,429 --> 00:18:52,229
for the barge-in. I'm Mickey. We spoke...
522
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:53,931
- I know who you are.
- You're the sister
523
00:18:53,933 --> 00:18:56,400
of that whore who stole my son.
524
00:18:56,402 --> 00:18:58,335
Yeah. That's me. So, listen,
525
00:18:58,337 --> 00:19:00,270
I know I told you I needed
you to watch the kids,
526
00:19:00,272 --> 00:19:01,872
but a couple things
fell through on my end,
527
00:19:01,874 --> 00:19:03,407
so we won't be needing you anymore.
528
00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:05,676
Sorry for the inconvenience.
Hey, you know what?
529
00:19:05,678 --> 00:19:07,277
Grab a car on your way out.
530
00:19:07,279 --> 00:19:08,846
Oh, I'm not going anywhere.
531
00:19:08,848 --> 00:19:10,647
Well, that's unfortunate.
532
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:13,183
You leave me no choice
but to reveal a scandal
533
00:19:13,185 --> 00:19:16,687
so very scandalous
534
00:19:16,689 --> 00:19:18,555
that it will shatter the foundation
535
00:19:18,557 --> 00:19:19,995
of the Pemberton name.
536
00:19:21,026 --> 00:19:22,526
That's right, Colonel.
537
00:19:22,528 --> 00:19:25,195
You've been a busy boy, haven't you?
538
00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:26,463
A very bad,
539
00:19:26,465 --> 00:19:27,631
busy little boy.
540
00:19:27,633 --> 00:19:29,600
Now, we all know the colonel is a man
541
00:19:29,602 --> 00:19:31,135
of many passions.
542
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:34,605
But none burn brighter than
that of the female flesh.
543
00:19:34,607 --> 00:19:36,206
Even he was no match
544
00:19:36,208 --> 00:19:38,709
for the temptresses who inhabit the tiny
545
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:41,512
island nation of Guatemala!
546
00:19:41,514 --> 00:19:44,047
- Guatemala isn't an island.
- Would you... I...
547
00:19:44,049 --> 00:19:46,049
- I'm doing a thing.
- I know. It's just taking forever.
548
00:19:46,051 --> 00:19:47,551
- I'm building up to something.
- Build faster.
549
00:19:47,553 --> 00:19:48,318
Could you stop interrupting me?
550
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:49,153
- If you just do it...
- Yeah, okay!
551
00:19:49,155 --> 00:19:49,753
- Thank you!
- Okay.
552
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,922
Anyway...
553
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:54,124
there's no denying that
the colonel has done
554
00:19:54,126 --> 00:19:58,061
a great many things for the
landlocked nation of Guatemala.
555
00:19:58,063 --> 00:20:01,932
His legacy will forever be
etched in the roads he's paved,
556
00:20:01,934 --> 00:20:03,400
the schools he's built,
557
00:20:03,402 --> 00:20:06,570
and the faces of his bastard children.
558
00:20:06,572 --> 00:20:07,738
That's right.
559
00:20:07,740 --> 00:20:09,306
The colonel is Alba's father!
560
00:20:09,308 --> 00:20:11,074
Why else would he have
561
00:20:11,076 --> 00:20:13,410
a dragonfly tattoo over his heart,
562
00:20:13,412 --> 00:20:16,613
if not to honor his precious libélula?
563
00:20:17,583 --> 00:20:19,049
What's the matter, Colonel?
564
00:20:19,051 --> 00:20:20,784
Cat got your tongue?
565
00:20:22,087 --> 00:20:24,188
I believe the, uh, tattoo
566
00:20:24,190 --> 00:20:28,458
you're referring to is the B-24 Bomber.
567
00:20:28,460 --> 00:20:32,095
Much like the one he bravely
flew over the Pacific.
568
00:20:32,097 --> 00:20:35,098
Yeah. Okay. Well, um...
569
00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:38,769
Thank you for your service.
570
00:20:38,771 --> 00:20:41,305
You're no different from your sister.
571
00:20:41,307 --> 00:20:43,373
You're just a dimwitted gold digger
572
00:20:43,375 --> 00:20:46,510
trying to suckle from the
mighty Pemberton teat.
573
00:20:46,512 --> 00:20:50,480
Well, so long as I have breath
in my body, you will never...
574
00:20:54,987 --> 00:20:57,154
- Is she gonna be okay?
- Yeah, yeah.
575
00:20:57,156 --> 00:20:58,488
Of course.
576
00:20:58,490 --> 00:21:02,059
Well, she did break both of
her hips, you know?
577
00:21:02,061 --> 00:21:05,028
So, no, she's not.
578
00:21:05,030 --> 00:21:07,030
These kids have somebody
to watch them tonight?
579
00:21:09,577 --> 00:21:11,600
I mean, yeah,
580
00:21:11,602 --> 00:21:13,389
I guess I could stay,
581
00:21:13,391 --> 00:21:14,381
you know,
582
00:21:14,406 --> 00:21:15,939
if you guys need me.
583
00:21:15,964 --> 00:21:17,209
Yeah, if you're not busy.
584
00:21:17,234 --> 00:21:19,561
Well, I am busy. I'm very busy, Chip.
585
00:21:19,563 --> 00:21:21,430
That's not the question. The question is,
586
00:21:21,432 --> 00:21:22,831
you know, do you want me to stay?
587
00:21:22,833 --> 00:21:24,233
You know, I can, if you're desperate.
588
00:21:24,235 --> 00:21:26,502
I mean, I wouldn't say
that we're desperate, but...
589
00:21:26,504 --> 00:21:27,503
yeah, I guess,
590
00:21:27,505 --> 00:21:28,784
technically, we need somebody.
591
00:21:28,809 --> 00:21:30,272
Okay, so if it's a technical issue,
592
00:21:30,274 --> 00:21:31,006
- then, yeah,
- Yeah.
593
00:21:31,008 --> 00:21:32,341
- all right.
- Eh, look at that.
594
00:21:32,343 --> 00:21:34,362
Sounds like we all need each other.
595
00:21:35,313 --> 00:21:36,312
Who is he?
596
00:21:36,314 --> 00:21:38,213
I'm Jimmy. I'm the boyfriend.
597
00:21:38,215 --> 00:21:40,416
No, he's not my boyfriend.
598
00:21:40,418 --> 00:21:42,051
- Come on, we've been plowing for
ten years. - All right, Jimmy, can we...?
599
00:21:42,053 --> 00:21:43,686
Come on, let's not do
this right now, okay?
600
00:21:43,688 --> 00:21:45,721
Come here, Ben. Let's get
you out of this thing
601
00:21:45,723 --> 00:21:47,856
before somebody else gets hurt.
602
00:21:47,858 --> 00:21:49,464
You little murderer.
603
00:21:49,489 --> 00:21:50,989
Where's Alba?
604
00:21:54,452 --> 00:21:59,682
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