1
00:00:03,753 --> 00:00:05,744
[GROANS]
2
00:00:11,494 --> 00:00:13,519
[CONTINUES GROANING]
3
00:00:15,732 --> 00:00:17,427
Problem?
4
00:00:17,667 --> 00:00:19,635
-This is Thai food.
-Here we go.
5
00:00:21,271 --> 00:00:24,172
We don't have Thai food on Thursday.
We have pizza on Thursday.
6
00:00:24,340 --> 00:00:27,036
Yes, but we all agreed
the third Thursday of every month...
7
00:00:27,210 --> 00:00:29,235
...would be
Anything Can Happen Thursday.
8
00:00:29,412 --> 00:00:32,540
The news didn't reach
my digestive system which, when startled...
9
00:00:32,716 --> 00:00:35,913
...has its own version
of Anything Can Happen Thursday.
10
00:00:37,153 --> 00:00:39,815
The whole idea behind
Anything Can Happen Thursday...
11
00:00:39,989 --> 00:00:41,957
...is to get out of this rut
we've been in.
12
00:00:42,125 --> 00:00:44,753
Rut? I think you mean consistency.
13
00:00:44,928 --> 00:00:47,795
And if we're going to abandon that,
why even call it Thursday?
14
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:52,458
Let's call it "Quonko Day" and divide it
into 29 hours of 17 minutes a piece...
15
00:00:52,635 --> 00:00:56,298
...and celebrate it by sacrificing a goat
to the mighty god Ra.
16
00:00:58,241 --> 00:01:00,072
I could go for some goat.
17
00:01:02,045 --> 00:01:05,412
Sheldon, we agreed we'd do something
different tonight.
18
00:01:05,582 --> 00:01:08,176
All right. Let's go
to the comic book store.
19
00:01:08,351 --> 00:01:10,319
We went to the comic book store
last night.
20
00:01:10,487 --> 00:01:13,047
Last night was Wednesday.
Wednesday is comic-book night.
21
00:01:13,223 --> 00:01:18,661
We'll be going on Thursday because
it's Anything Can Happen Thursday.
22
00:01:19,162 --> 00:01:23,326
Way to think outside but pressed right up
against the box, Sheldon.
23
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,933
What are we gonna do tonight?
24
00:01:25,101 --> 00:01:27,296
If I may proffer a suggestion...
25
00:01:27,470 --> 00:01:32,464
...in bars all across this great nation of ours,
Thursday night is Ladies' Night.
26
00:01:32,642 --> 00:01:35,543
As the evening progresses,
we will get better-looking...
27
00:01:35,712 --> 00:01:38,613
...courtesy of 99-cent margaritas
and two-for-one Jell-O shots.
28
00:01:41,951 --> 00:01:46,047
Come on, Howard, the odds of us
picking up girls in a bar are practically zero.
29
00:01:46,222 --> 00:01:48,520
Oh. Really?
Are you familiar with the Drake equation?
30
00:01:48,691 --> 00:01:51,353
The one that estimates the odds
of contact with extraterrestrials...
31
00:01:51,528 --> 00:01:54,258
...by calculating the product
of series of fractional values...
32
00:01:54,430 --> 00:01:56,864
...such as stars
with planets likely to develop life?
33
00:01:57,033 --> 00:02:01,766
N equals R times FP times NE times FL
times FI times FC times L?
34
00:02:05,208 --> 00:02:06,732
Yeah, that one.
35
00:02:12,148 --> 00:02:15,481
You can modify it
to calculate our chances of having sex...
36
00:02:15,652 --> 00:02:18,587
...by changing the formula
to use single women in Los Angeles...
37
00:02:18,755 --> 00:02:20,620
...those who might find us attractive...
38
00:02:20,790 --> 00:02:24,453
...and what I call
The Wolowitz Coefficient.
39
00:02:24,928 --> 00:02:29,262
-The Wolowitz Coefficient?
-Neediness times dress-size squared.
40
00:02:30,800 --> 00:02:35,066
In crunching the numbers, I come up with a
conservative 5812 potential sex partners...
41
00:02:35,238 --> 00:02:36,728
...within a 40-mile radius.
44
00:02:42,345 --> 00:02:44,813
I never joke about math or sex.
45
00:02:46,482 --> 00:02:49,576
Well, what are we waiting for?
Let's bounce, bitches.
46
00:02:51,354 --> 00:02:54,346
Oh, you're right.
It's Anything Can Happen Thursday.
47
00:02:54,524 --> 00:02:56,321
Let's hit the clubs
and meet hot women.
48
00:02:56,492 --> 00:03:00,519
Here we go. Lock up your daughters.
We're gonna hit it and quit it.
49
00:03:06,569 --> 00:03:09,868
Or we could finish eating
and go to the comic book store.
50
00:03:10,373 --> 00:03:12,432
Also a good plan.
51
00:03:12,842 --> 00:03:15,777
But next Anything Can Happen Thursday,
we're going to a bar.
52
00:03:15,945 --> 00:03:18,470
-Oh, absolutely.
-You heard that, Ladies' Night ladies?
53
00:03:18,648 --> 00:03:21,139
We're eventually coming for you.
54
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,615
Fascinating.
55
00:03:52,982 --> 00:03:55,542
-Oh, hey, guys. Where you headed?
-To the comic book store.
56
00:03:55,718 --> 00:03:58,710
You're thinking,
"The comic book store on a Thursday?
57
00:03:58,888 --> 00:04:01,948
Why, I've fallen down the rabbit hole
and into a land of madness."
58
00:04:02,125 --> 00:04:07,461
What you have failed to take into account is
that this is Anything Can Happen Thursday.
59
00:04:08,631 --> 00:04:10,121
You got me.
60
00:04:10,300 --> 00:04:13,428
Oh, hey, could you pick me up
a few comics for my nephew's birthday?
61
00:04:13,603 --> 00:04:15,594
No, I think you mean comic books.
62
00:04:15,772 --> 00:04:17,672
Comics are feeble attempts at humor...
63
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,604
...featuring talking babies
and anthropomorphized pets...
64
00:04:20,777 --> 00:04:25,043
...found traditionally
in the optimistically named "funny pages."
65
00:04:25,715 --> 00:04:28,149
Leonard, pick me up comics
for my nephew's birthday?
66
00:04:28,618 --> 00:04:31,712
-Sure. What does he like?
-I don't know, just pick out anything.
67
00:04:31,888 --> 00:04:34,322
Just pick out anything?
68
00:04:34,958 --> 00:04:38,394
Maybe we can pick out a new suit for him
without knowing his size...
69
00:04:38,561 --> 00:04:41,189
...or pick out his career
without knowing his aptitude...
70
00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:45,266
...or pick out a new breakfast cereal
without knowing his fiber requirements...
71
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:49,133
...or his feelings
about little marshmallows.
72
00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,235
Spider-Man. Get him Spider-Man.
73
00:04:52,408 --> 00:04:55,343
Amazing Spider-Man, Ultimate Spider-Man,
Spectacular Spider-Man...
74
00:04:55,511 --> 00:04:59,072
...The Marvelous Adventures of Spider-Man,
Spider-Man 2099?
75
00:04:59,749 --> 00:05:01,842
-Leonard?
LEONARD: You know this can go on all night.
76
00:05:02,018 --> 00:05:04,179
Why don't you just come with us?
77
00:05:04,454 --> 00:05:07,355
Ugh. That's what I was trying to avoid.
78
00:05:08,191 --> 00:05:11,160
Oh, I forgot Sensational Spider-Man.
79
00:05:14,497 --> 00:05:17,193
Oh, what a cute little store.
80
00:05:20,803 --> 00:05:23,203
Everybody's staring at me.
81
00:05:24,474 --> 00:05:27,773
LEONARD: Don't worry. They're more
scared of you than you are of them.
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00:05:28,911 --> 00:05:30,071
Unlikely.
83
00:05:32,982 --> 00:05:35,007
Here. What about this one
for my nephew?
84
00:05:35,184 --> 00:05:37,448
-A superb choice.
-Oh, great.
85
00:05:37,620 --> 00:05:40,748
Yeah, provided he has already read
Infinite Crisis and 52...
86
00:05:40,923 --> 00:05:44,359
...and is familiar with the reestablishment
of the DC Multiverse.
87
00:05:45,862 --> 00:05:47,420
Uh, what's a Multiverse?
88
00:05:47,897 --> 00:05:49,831
Get her out of here.
89
00:05:50,800 --> 00:05:53,291
Come on, I'll help you pick something.
90
00:05:54,604 --> 00:05:57,402
That's right. She's with us.
91
00:05:59,075 --> 00:06:02,374
Guys like that are so pathetic.
92
00:06:02,545 --> 00:06:03,944
Tell me about it.
93
00:06:04,447 --> 00:06:07,712
Ooh, look, a new Batman belt buckle.
94
00:06:09,385 --> 00:06:11,444
Oh, hey, Leonard.
I help you find something?
95
00:06:11,621 --> 00:06:14,556
Oh, hey, Stuart. This is Penny.
She's just looking for some comic books.
96
00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:18,820
Oh, really? Wow. Blink twice
if you're here against your will.
97
00:06:19,629 --> 00:06:21,062
I think we're fine, Stuart.
98
00:06:21,597 --> 00:06:24,760
-Okay. Let me know if you need anything.
-Thanks.
99
00:06:25,968 --> 00:06:27,959
Oh, he seems like a nice guy.
100
00:06:28,771 --> 00:06:31,069
You mean for someone
who's into comic books?
101
00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:34,903
No, no, no. I just meant for-- Yeah.
102
00:06:35,745 --> 00:06:38,976
Just because people appreciate comic books
doesn't make them weirdoes.
103
00:06:39,148 --> 00:06:42,914
Stuart's a terrific artist. He went
to the Rhode Island School of Design.
104
00:06:43,086 --> 00:06:47,147
Okay, what about the guy in the superhero
T-shirt tucked into his sweatpants?
105
00:06:49,092 --> 00:06:51,083
Oh, yeah, that's Captain Sweatpants.
106
00:06:53,930 --> 00:06:56,899
He doesn't really help the point
I'm trying to make.
107
00:06:57,934 --> 00:07:00,528
-Got it, got it, got it.
-Got it, got it, got it.
108
00:07:00,703 --> 00:07:03,297
-Got it, got it, got it.
-Got it, got it, got it.
109
00:07:03,473 --> 00:07:06,237
-Got it, got it, got it.
-Got it, got it, got it.
110
00:07:06,409 --> 00:07:08,969
-Got it, got it, got it.
-Got it, got it, got it.
111
00:07:09,145 --> 00:07:12,046
-Got it, got it, got it.
-Got it, got it, got it.
112
00:07:12,215 --> 00:07:13,739
-Need it.
-Need it.
113
00:07:16,185 --> 00:07:18,983
-Let it go, Sheldon.
-Why should I let it go? I saw it first.
114
00:07:19,155 --> 00:07:22,522
-Yes, but I saw it from the front.
-A far less impressive feat.
115
00:07:22,692 --> 00:07:25,320
Oh, come on, I need this
for my Batman collection.
116
00:07:25,495 --> 00:07:28,692
-I need it for my Robin collection.
-Rock Paper Scissors Lizard Spock?
117
00:07:28,865 --> 00:07:30,696
Why would I gamble? It's mine. Let go.
118
00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:32,357
-You let go.
-No, you.
119
00:07:32,535 --> 00:07:35,129
-Problem?
-Yes. He won't let go of my comic book.
120
00:07:35,304 --> 00:07:37,636
-It's my comic book.
-Leonard, we need a ruling.
121
00:07:37,807 --> 00:07:39,297
Uh, cut it in half?
122
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,303
-Excuse me.
-Oh, hello again.
123
00:07:43,479 --> 00:07:46,710
Hi. What would you recommend
as a present for a 13-year-old boy?
124
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:49,351
A 13-year-old girl.
125
00:07:49,519 --> 00:07:50,747
[LAUGHS]
126
00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:55,550
But if you're dead set
on a comic book, try this.
127
00:07:55,725 --> 00:07:57,989
Oh. "Hellblazer. " What's this about?
128
00:07:58,161 --> 00:08:01,460
A morally ambiguous confidence man
who smokes, has lung cancer...
129
00:08:01,631 --> 00:08:05,089
...and is tormented
by the spirits of the undead.
130
00:08:05,268 --> 00:08:08,669
Well, if that doesn't make me
the favorite aunt, I don't know what will.
131
00:08:11,674 --> 00:08:13,574
Is this me?
132
00:08:14,677 --> 00:08:15,905
Depends. Do you like it?
133
00:08:16,479 --> 00:08:19,448
-Wow, it's really good.
-Yes, that's you.
134
00:08:21,551 --> 00:08:23,951
That's so sweet.
But what if I didn't like it?
135
00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,089
lt'd still be you, but I'd feel like an idiot.
136
00:08:28,524 --> 00:08:31,925
I don't believe it.
Stuart's putting the moves on Penny.
137
00:08:32,094 --> 00:08:34,858
I have got to learn how to draw.
138
00:08:35,831 --> 00:08:37,230
Hey.
139
00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:41,359
Once again, defeated
by your own prurient interests.
140
00:08:41,537 --> 00:08:44,768
Guys, have you seen Stuart all up
in Penny's business over there?
141
00:08:44,941 --> 00:08:49,002
Nobody's up in anybody's business.
Let's just buy our stuff and go.
142
00:08:49,178 --> 00:08:52,341
Okay, you've got my number.
Now give me the picture.
143
00:08:52,515 --> 00:08:54,278
All right. You drive a hard bargain...
144
00:08:54,817 --> 00:08:59,550
-...but here.
-All right. So, um, just give me a call.
145
00:09:02,325 --> 00:09:06,455
So Leonard, how are you enjoying
Anything Can Happen Thursday?
146
00:09:10,900 --> 00:09:14,301
Look at that. That's a dent.
147
00:09:15,238 --> 00:09:18,799
Thank you,
Howard "Ham-Fisted" Wolowitz.
148
00:09:21,944 --> 00:09:24,845
Did you shut the TV off
in the middle of the Deep Space Nine...
149
00:09:25,014 --> 00:09:29,144
...Star Trek: The Original Series
"Trouble With Tribbles" crossover episode?
150
00:09:30,453 --> 00:09:32,478
Apparently so.
151
00:09:33,389 --> 00:09:35,448
Are you ill?
152
00:09:35,625 --> 00:09:37,092
No.
153
00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:38,784
All right.
154
00:09:38,961 --> 00:09:42,362
Then is it fair to say that you're
experiencing some emotional turmoil...
155
00:09:42,531 --> 00:09:45,125
...over the events involving Penny
earlier this evening?
156
00:09:45,635 --> 00:09:48,001
When did you pick up on that?
157
00:09:48,904 --> 00:09:52,396
A moment ago, you turned off the TV
in the middle of the Deep Space Nine...
158
00:09:52,575 --> 00:09:56,443
...Star Trek: The Original Series
"Trouble With Tribbles" crossover episode.
159
00:09:59,348 --> 00:10:01,475
Would you like some advice?
160
00:10:02,551 --> 00:10:03,609
Sure, why not?
161
00:10:03,786 --> 00:10:06,254
Then this is the perfect time
to launch a blog...
162
00:10:06,422 --> 00:10:09,050
...with an interactive comments section.
163
00:10:10,526 --> 00:10:11,618
Gee, thanks a lot.
164
00:10:12,795 --> 00:10:14,854
Would you rather I offer
my personal insight?
165
00:10:15,031 --> 00:10:16,896
No, I don't need any insights.
166
00:10:17,066 --> 00:10:20,399
I just wanna know why Penny's
more interested in Stuart than me.
167
00:10:20,569 --> 00:10:22,332
We're practically the same guy.
168
00:10:22,505 --> 00:10:24,336
Oh, I disagree.
169
00:10:24,507 --> 00:10:27,635
You know, Stuart is taller,
artistic, self-employed...
170
00:10:27,810 --> 00:10:32,679
...and, most significantly,
he gets 45 percent off comic books.
171
00:10:36,786 --> 00:10:40,051
You're right. I really should be asking
strangers on the Internet.
172
00:10:41,691 --> 00:10:44,319
My original point.
173
00:10:46,095 --> 00:10:49,223
Chinese food, vintage video games.
174
00:10:49,398 --> 00:10:52,265
After the nightmare
of Anything Can Happen Thursday...
175
00:10:52,435 --> 00:10:55,666
...this is Friday night
the way it was meant to be.
176
00:10:56,372 --> 00:10:58,431
Who's up for Sheldon-Free Saturday?
177
00:11:02,078 --> 00:11:03,102
Oh, hey, guys.
178
00:11:03,279 --> 00:11:05,008
Hey, Penny and Stuart.
179
00:11:05,181 --> 00:11:07,115
Hey, Stuart.
180
00:11:07,717 --> 00:11:09,912
-Hey, guys.
-So, what are you kids up to?
181
00:11:10,086 --> 00:11:12,680
Stuart has a piece in an art show
that's opening tonight.
182
00:11:12,855 --> 00:11:16,086
And you guys are going together. Great.
183
00:11:16,258 --> 00:11:18,419
It is great. Really great.
184
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:20,459
It's freaking awesome.
185
00:11:21,197 --> 00:11:22,892
-What are you doing?
-Friday night.
186
00:11:23,065 --> 00:11:25,363
That means Chinese food
and vintage video games?
187
00:11:25,534 --> 00:11:28,469
Vintage doesn't even begin to describe
what we have planned.
188
00:11:28,637 --> 00:11:33,131
Tonight we are playing the classic 1980
interactive text adventure, "Zork."
189
00:11:34,377 --> 00:11:36,538
It's the buggy beta version.
190
00:11:37,146 --> 00:11:38,374
Wow, "Zork."
191
00:11:38,547 --> 00:11:40,640
-Well, you guys have fun.
-Yeah.
192
00:11:40,816 --> 00:11:43,080
STUART: See you, guys.
-See you, Stuart.
193
00:11:43,252 --> 00:11:45,049
-Hey, Howard?
-Yes?
194
00:11:46,021 --> 00:11:48,387
Take me to a bar with women.
195
00:11:48,891 --> 00:11:50,290
-Really?
-Yeah.
196
00:11:51,026 --> 00:11:52,891
Okay.
197
00:11:54,797 --> 00:11:57,425
Let me just go inside
and slip off my underwear.
198
00:12:00,770 --> 00:12:01,794
Why?
199
00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:06,533
HOWARD: Well, if I get lucky, I don't wanna
be caught in my Aquaman briefs.
200
00:12:08,010 --> 00:12:09,477
Do you--? Let's go.
201
00:12:15,251 --> 00:12:16,582
[ROCK MUSIC PLAYING O VER SPEAKERS]
202
00:12:16,752 --> 00:12:20,381
May I have a grasshopper
with a little umbrella, please?
203
00:12:20,556 --> 00:12:22,717
-No, he may not.
-Why?
204
00:12:22,892 --> 00:12:27,625
I'm not sitting here with a guy drinking
a grasshopper with a little umbrella.
205
00:12:28,364 --> 00:12:29,592
Fine.
206
00:12:29,765 --> 00:12:31,232
I'll have a chocolate martini.
207
00:12:32,468 --> 00:12:33,935
Wrong again.
208
00:12:34,370 --> 00:12:39,398
You know I can't talk to women unless
I'm lit up like the Hindu festival of Diwali.
209
00:12:43,446 --> 00:12:47,644
There are plenty of bars where you can
order grasshoppers and chocolate martinis...
210
00:12:47,817 --> 00:12:51,844
...but you wouldn't have to
because there are no women in them.
211
00:12:52,254 --> 00:12:54,347
Gotcha.
212
00:12:55,024 --> 00:12:57,857
I'll have a Brandy Alexander.
213
00:12:58,394 --> 00:13:01,989
All right, the Three Musketeers
just became the Dynamic Duo.
214
00:13:02,364 --> 00:13:06,926
-Should we talk to some of these women?
-No, it's way too early in the night for that.
215
00:13:07,102 --> 00:13:10,162
See, first we let the lawyers
and the jocks thin the herd...
216
00:13:10,339 --> 00:13:13,866
...and then we go after the weak
and the old and the lame.
217
00:13:15,511 --> 00:13:18,674
-That's your system?
-That's my system.
218
00:13:20,082 --> 00:13:22,983
Oh, and if you spot a chick
with a Seeing Eye dog, she's mine.
219
00:13:26,889 --> 00:13:28,049
Oh, come on.
220
00:13:28,224 --> 00:13:32,661
I think it's nice that Captain Sweatpants
showed up to your art opening.
221
00:13:33,395 --> 00:13:36,728
Yeah. It would've been nicer
if he hadn't touched all the cheese.
222
00:13:38,934 --> 00:13:41,334
Um, you know, it's kind of early.
223
00:13:41,504 --> 00:13:43,495
Wanna maybe come in for coffee
or something?
224
00:13:43,672 --> 00:13:46,835
Oh, gee, it's a little late for coffee,
isn't it?
225
00:13:47,776 --> 00:13:51,405
Oh, you think "coffee" means coffee.
That is so sweet.
226
00:13:52,948 --> 00:13:54,540
Come on, I think I have decaf.
227
00:13:54,984 --> 00:13:57,680
Oh, good, Stuart.
I thought I heard your voice.
228
00:13:57,853 --> 00:14:00,344
-Do you have a moment?
-Uh, yeah, I guess.
229
00:14:00,523 --> 00:14:01,990
We're a little busy here, so....
230
00:14:02,157 --> 00:14:04,887
-What are you doing?
-We're having coffee.
231
00:14:05,060 --> 00:14:07,426
Isn't it a little late for coffee?
232
00:14:08,063 --> 00:14:10,156
It's okay. She thinks she has decaf.
233
00:14:14,904 --> 00:14:17,498
I'll just go look for it.
234
00:14:17,673 --> 00:14:20,198
-What's up?
-Well, I've spent the last three hours...
235
00:14:20,376 --> 00:14:23,743
...in a debate in the DC Comics Batman
chat room, and I need your help.
236
00:14:23,913 --> 00:14:27,246
Oh, yeah. Those guys can be very stubborn.
What's the topic?
237
00:14:27,416 --> 00:14:30,579
I am asserting in the event
that Batman's death proves permanent...
238
00:14:30,753 --> 00:14:34,883
...the original Robin, Dick Grayson,
is the logical successor to the Bat Cowl.
239
00:14:35,057 --> 00:14:38,424
Ooh, Sheldon, I'm afraid
you couldn't be more wrong.
240
00:14:43,265 --> 00:14:45,563
"More wrong"?
241
00:14:47,202 --> 00:14:51,866
Wrong is an absolute state
and not subject to gradation.
242
00:14:52,041 --> 00:14:55,374
Of course it is. It's a little wrong
to say a tomato is a vegetable.
243
00:14:55,544 --> 00:14:58,638
It's very wrong to say
it's a suspension bridge.
244
00:15:00,015 --> 00:15:03,451
But returning to the original issue,
Dick Grayson became Nightwing.
245
00:15:03,619 --> 00:15:05,052
A superhero in his own right.
246
00:15:05,220 --> 00:15:07,916
"Batman Two" has to be the second Robin,
Jason Todd.
247
00:15:08,357 --> 00:15:11,383
"Has to be"? "Has to be"?
248
00:15:11,660 --> 00:15:14,458
I hope you're being
deliberately provocative.
249
00:15:15,364 --> 00:15:17,298
PENNY: I found the decaf.
-Oh, great.
250
00:15:17,466 --> 00:15:20,492
Yeah, herbal tea for me, please.
251
00:15:23,172 --> 00:15:26,767
Barkeep, Alexander me.
252
00:15:27,576 --> 00:15:29,203
How about those two?
253
00:15:29,378 --> 00:15:31,243
No, they're eating peanuts.
254
00:15:31,413 --> 00:15:35,440
With my allergies, one kiss
would put me in Cedars-Sinai for a week.
255
00:15:37,586 --> 00:15:39,918
What about the ones in the corner?
256
00:15:40,089 --> 00:15:43,058
Possible. Very possible.
257
00:15:43,225 --> 00:15:46,524
You want the one in the whiplash collar
or the one who keeps blinking?
258
00:15:47,496 --> 00:15:50,590
-I think Blinky's cute.
-Done, sir.
259
00:15:50,766 --> 00:15:52,734
Wait. So we just go over there?
260
00:15:52,901 --> 00:15:55,495
No. We have a little prep work to do.
261
00:15:55,671 --> 00:15:58,731
Put this in your mouth, we walk past them,
you stumble a bit.
262
00:15:58,907 --> 00:16:01,171
I say, "Sorry,
my friend's had a little too much."
263
00:16:01,343 --> 00:16:04,710
And then I start to pull it
out of your mouth and say:
264
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,440
"A little too much fun."
265
00:16:07,616 --> 00:16:08,878
[LAUGHS]
266
00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:12,452
Get it? I mean, they're laughing,
we're laughing. Then we get them up...
267
00:16:12,621 --> 00:16:16,284
...to about a 0.15 blood alcohol level
and tell them we're millionaires.
268
00:16:18,360 --> 00:16:20,055
What else you got?
269
00:16:20,229 --> 00:16:24,325
Depends. Are you willing to sit on my lap
and pretend to be a ventriloquist's dummy?
270
00:16:24,500 --> 00:16:25,762
No.
271
00:16:25,934 --> 00:16:29,370
I can't sit on your lap.
You don't know the routine.
272
00:16:31,573 --> 00:16:35,805
I'm sorry, but you're obviously stuck
in a pre-Zero Hour DC Universe.
273
00:16:35,978 --> 00:16:39,436
Of course I am. Removing Joe Chill
as the killer of Batman's parents...
274
00:16:39,615 --> 00:16:41,913
...effectively deprived him
of his raison d'ĂȘtre.
275
00:16:42,985 --> 00:16:46,318
You can throw all the French around
you want, it doesn't make you right.
276
00:16:46,822 --> 00:16:48,722
Au contraire.
277
00:16:49,491 --> 00:16:52,756
Plus, you're forgetting
that the Infinite Crisis story line...
278
00:16:52,928 --> 00:16:55,158
...restored Joe Chill
to the Batman mythology.
279
00:16:55,330 --> 00:16:57,662
I am forgetting nothing,
and I resent your tone.
280
00:16:57,833 --> 00:16:59,323
[SIGHS]
281
00:16:59,702 --> 00:17:03,103
Okay. Look, Sheldon, it's late.
I've gotta get some sleep.
282
00:17:03,272 --> 00:17:05,536
-So I win.
-No, I'm tired.
283
00:17:06,475 --> 00:17:08,670
So I win.
284
00:17:09,311 --> 00:17:12,212
-Fine, you win.
-Darn tooting, I win.
285
00:17:13,148 --> 00:17:16,242
Penny, I really had a terrific time.
286
00:17:16,885 --> 00:17:18,250
Penny?
287
00:17:18,687 --> 00:17:20,177
No, no, no. Don't wake her.
288
00:17:20,723 --> 00:17:23,692
She'll maul you like a rabid wolverine.
289
00:17:26,228 --> 00:17:29,163
You know, I don't think that was decaf.
290
00:17:32,501 --> 00:17:35,959
HOWARD:
Wait, is this your card or isn't it?
291
00:17:38,707 --> 00:17:40,868
Trust me, this was their card.
292
00:17:41,043 --> 00:17:42,704
I thought you were good at this.
293
00:17:42,878 --> 00:17:45,938
You're always talking about
how you go to bars and meet women.
294
00:17:46,115 --> 00:17:47,639
I do. All the time.
295
00:17:47,816 --> 00:17:50,478
Well, what happened?
Been sitting here all night...
296
00:17:50,652 --> 00:17:54,713
...and the longest conversation you've had
with a woman was when your mom called.
297
00:17:59,795 --> 00:18:02,457
Wow, you're just gonna make me
come out and say it, aren't you?
298
00:18:02,898 --> 00:18:04,058
Say what?
299
00:18:04,233 --> 00:18:06,565
You're weighing me down.
300
00:18:08,604 --> 00:18:12,062
I'm a falcon who hunts better solo.
301
00:18:12,241 --> 00:18:17,076
Fine, I'll sit here.
You take flight and hunt.
302
00:18:17,746 --> 00:18:20,772
Don't be ridiculous.
You can't just tell a falcon when to hunt.
303
00:18:21,383 --> 00:18:23,647
Actually, you can.
304
00:18:24,987 --> 00:18:27,581
There's a whole sport built around it.
305
00:18:28,857 --> 00:18:30,882
Falconry.
306
00:18:33,595 --> 00:18:35,256
Shut up.
307
00:18:35,697 --> 00:18:38,325
Let's just get Koothrappali and go.
308
00:18:44,039 --> 00:18:46,269
Lucky bastard.
309
00:18:48,310 --> 00:18:50,608
It's gotta be that stupid accent of his.
310
00:18:53,715 --> 00:18:56,616
[IN INDIAN ACCENT]
Hello, I'm Sanjay Wolowitz from Bombay.
311
00:18:59,488 --> 00:19:01,319
[IN NORMAL VOICE]
Okay, I'm stumped.
312
00:20:08,557 --> 00:20:10,548
[ENGLISH SDH]