1
00:00:02,897 --> 00:00:04,896
(children coughing)
2
00:00:12,501 --> 00:00:15,429
Oh, Christ, does every single
one of these kids have the flu?
3
00:00:15,464 --> 00:00:16,197
Seems like it.
4
00:00:16,235 --> 00:00:18,168
All right, now I bet you guys
are wondering what's going on
5
00:00:18,204 --> 00:00:20,203
- with this racing suit, huh?
- No, not even a little bit.
6
00:00:20,238 --> 00:00:21,672
You're like,
"What's that rascal Charlie up to?"
7
00:00:21,705 --> 00:00:23,705
"What's he up to this time?"
Right, right?
8
00:00:23,741 --> 00:00:24,805
- I'm not thinking that at all.
- Yeah, yeah, well,
9
00:00:24,842 --> 00:00:26,973
it's an issue of aerodynamics, really.
10
00:00:27,010 --> 00:00:28,411
You see, every second counts
in the water park.
11
00:00:28,445 --> 00:00:30,037
- Right.
- And we plan to ride
12
00:00:30,037 --> 00:00:31,376
- every single ride in there today.
- Yup.
13
00:00:31,410 --> 00:00:32,977
Yeah, the brochure says three days.
14
00:00:33,013 --> 00:00:33,979
We're saying bullshit to that.
15
00:00:34,013 --> 00:00:35,379
- We're gonna get it done in one.
- One day.
16
00:00:35,413 --> 00:00:37,112
All right, well, good luck
with that 'cause you got, like,
17
00:00:37,149 --> 00:00:38,783
ten minutes of clean water and
then every slide's basically
18
00:00:38,815 --> 00:00:40,148
a urine delivery system.
19
00:00:40,184 --> 00:00:41,382
- Yeah. - (laughs)
- MAC: We're not gonna get
20
00:00:41,416 --> 00:00:42,816
- drenched in piss.
- No.
21
00:00:42,852 --> 00:00:44,452
We're gonna go in there,
find our favorite ride,
22
00:00:44,486 --> 00:00:45,986
- bomb down it once,
- Yeah.
23
00:00:46,021 --> 00:00:48,488
then sit by the pool the
rest of the day disease-free.
24
00:00:48,520 --> 00:00:49,820
Don't kid yourself about the water,
buddy.
25
00:00:49,856 --> 00:00:50,821
You're not gonna be disease-free;
26
00:00:50,856 --> 00:00:51,954
this water's already infested
27
00:00:51,990 --> 00:00:53,189
with every parasite on the planet.
28
00:00:53,225 --> 00:00:54,491
And I, for one, have no intention
29
00:00:54,526 --> 00:00:55,826
of stepping foot in any of it.
30
00:00:55,859 --> 00:00:57,359
So what do you come to a water park for?
31
00:00:57,394 --> 00:01:00,627
Hot food, cold beer,
bikini'd women seeking relief
32
00:01:00,663 --> 00:01:02,529
from the insufferable
prison of motherhood.
33
00:01:02,564 --> 00:01:04,030
Yeah, lot of pleasures to
be had at the park, Frank.
34
00:01:04,064 --> 00:01:05,664
- None of which involve piss.
- Hmm.
35
00:01:05,698 --> 00:01:07,497
And it's all free, too,
if you know how to get it.
36
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:09,133
Well, it's not free,
you got to pay to get in.
37
00:01:09,168 --> 00:01:11,534
Not me, I had my bracelet
laminated in the '90s.
38
00:01:11,570 --> 00:01:13,502
I haven't paid to get
in here since I was 14.
39
00:01:13,538 --> 00:01:14,940
- Nice!
- Nice, nice.
40
00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:16,870
- Oh, smart.
- Oh, shush! Shush, shush, shush, shush,
41
00:01:16,870 --> 00:01:18,372
- they're about to open!
- Why do we have to shush?
42
00:01:18,407 --> 00:01:19,907
Oh, guys! I almost forgot.
43
00:01:19,942 --> 00:01:21,708
Do not go near the pool drains,
44
00:01:21,741 --> 00:01:24,139
no matter how good you might
think they feel on your butt.
45
00:01:24,175 --> 00:01:25,742
- What? - Huh?
- What?
46
00:01:25,779 --> 00:01:27,212
You do not sit on those!
47
00:01:27,246 --> 00:01:28,845
You know, because of the suction
on your butthole?
48
00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:30,413
- No one's thinking about that, man.
- (all disagreeing)
49
00:01:30,445 --> 00:01:31,712
No one's thinking about that at all.
50
00:01:31,748 --> 00:01:33,746
Oh, good, 'cause it is bad news.
51
00:01:33,782 --> 00:01:35,847
Those things will suck the
intestines right out of you.
52
00:01:35,885 --> 00:01:38,216
Like it did to that one kid back in '96.
53
00:01:38,252 --> 00:01:39,819
Now, she had to chew
through her intestines
54
00:01:39,853 --> 00:01:41,318
- just to get free.
- CHARLIE: When I see the drain,
55
00:01:41,353 --> 00:01:42,720
I'm not gonna go try and sit on it.
56
00:01:42,754 --> 00:01:44,086
- Oh, here we go.
- Okay, here we go! Here we go!
57
00:01:44,121 --> 00:01:45,886
We got to go! Get in there!
58
00:01:45,922 --> 00:01:47,656
- Go! Go! Go!
- Christ!
59
00:01:47,689 --> 00:01:49,689
♪ ♪
60
00:02:09,698 --> 00:02:11,330
♪ Kiddie Twister ♪
61
00:02:11,466 --> 00:02:13,485
♪ Kiddie Twister ♪
62
00:02:15,201 --> 00:02:17,443
Here we go, here we go, here we go!
63
00:02:17,566 --> 00:02:20,300
- Yeah, Kiddie Twister!
- I'm so excited.
64
00:02:20,333 --> 00:02:22,532
- It's been, like, 20 years.
- What's that?
65
00:02:22,568 --> 00:02:24,001
Uh, it's a urine tester.
66
00:02:24,035 --> 00:02:25,567
Just want to be 100% sure.
67
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:28,002
It turns light red at the
slightest hint of piss.
68
00:02:28,037 --> 00:02:30,402
- And I think we're good.
- Let's roll.
69
00:02:30,438 --> 00:02:31,672
Hey, guys, guys, guys.
70
00:02:31,705 --> 00:02:32,979
Slide's for kids only.
71
00:02:33,335 --> 00:02:34,625
Size requirement.
72
00:02:34,848 --> 00:02:36,082
Shut up, nerd!
73
00:02:36,082 --> 00:02:37,637
- (laughs)
- (whoops)
74
00:02:37,683 --> 00:02:39,748
Kiddie Twister!
75
00:02:39,785 --> 00:02:41,253
(whoops)
76
00:02:41,287 --> 00:02:42,886
Screw you, nerd!
77
00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:43,885
You're gonna get hurt
78
00:02:43,921 --> 00:02:45,487
Uh, come on, nerd.
79
00:02:45,521 --> 00:02:46,954
(laughs)
80
00:02:46,990 --> 00:02:48,723
Whoo-hoo! Kiddie Twister!
81
00:02:48,758 --> 00:02:50,922
I don't give a shit.
82
00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:52,826
MAC: Kiddie Twister!
83
00:02:52,859 --> 00:02:54,458
(whoops)
84
00:02:54,494 --> 00:02:56,794
Kiddie Twis... Oh, shit!
85
00:02:56,830 --> 00:02:59,128
- Kiddie Twister!
- Wait, Dee, no!
86
00:02:59,163 --> 00:03:00,996
- No, I'm stuck, wait!
- (Dee yells)
87
00:03:01,032 --> 00:03:03,097
BOTH: Ow!
88
00:03:03,134 --> 00:03:04,400
- Shit!
- (Dee yells)
89
00:03:04,433 --> 00:03:05,933
Ow! Ow, Dee, I'm stuck!
90
00:03:05,968 --> 00:03:07,334
Yeah, no shit!
91
00:03:07,367 --> 00:03:09,067
- Dee, you got to move.
- Me move? You move.
92
00:03:09,103 --> 00:03:10,768
You're blocking me.
93
00:03:10,803 --> 00:03:13,068
Your stupid wrist band
got us all jammed up.
94
00:03:13,105 --> 00:03:14,739
- It's not just that.
- (grunting)
95
00:03:14,772 --> 00:03:17,439
The slide's too small,
the nerd was right.
96
00:03:17,473 --> 00:03:19,306
Shit, what are we gonna do?
97
00:03:19,342 --> 00:03:21,440
Uh... okay. Just remain calm, all right?
98
00:03:21,476 --> 00:03:23,176
Do not panic,
that's the worst thing you can do.
99
00:03:23,212 --> 00:03:25,011
Okay, but we got to get unstuck
before they send another kid
100
00:03:25,046 --> 00:03:26,845
because... oh, God,
101
00:03:26,879 --> 00:03:28,845
some big, fat kid's just gonna
come blasting down on us.
102
00:03:28,881 --> 00:03:31,782
- MAC: You're gonna be fine. Trust me.
- (thud, both yell)
103
00:03:31,815 --> 00:03:33,648
- Shit!
- Goddamn it!
104
00:03:33,684 --> 00:03:34,985
Jesus Christ!
105
00:03:36,385 --> 00:03:37,618
FRANK: This is slow, Charlie.
106
00:03:37,653 --> 00:03:39,153
I'm never gonna get through this crap.
107
00:03:39,187 --> 00:03:41,374
We should've gone down
the first slide we saw.
108
00:03:41,374 --> 00:03:43,765
I know, I know, but we needed
to start at the northmost point
109
00:03:43,765 --> 00:03:44,512
- of the park, right?
- (groans)
110
00:03:44,512 --> 00:03:45,529
- Then we work our way south,
- Yeah.
111
00:03:45,529 --> 00:03:46,970
and that cuts back on the excess
112
00:03:46,970 --> 00:03:48,978
- running back and forth.
- Oh, yeah.
113
00:03:48,978 --> 00:03:50,461
You know, that said,
I'm sorry I got us so lost.
114
00:03:50,461 --> 00:03:53,160
I can't ever tell which
way is north on a map.
115
00:03:53,194 --> 00:03:54,761
It's at the top.
116
00:03:54,797 --> 00:03:57,163
- I thought north was, like, up.
- "Up"?
117
00:03:57,199 --> 00:03:59,264
Yeah, like if I turn the map this way,
now where is north?
118
00:03:59,298 --> 00:04:00,932
- Still at the top of the... no.
- Down?
119
00:04:00,967 --> 00:04:03,332
- Now, come on, Charlie, this is ridiculous.
- It's confusing, right?
120
00:04:03,368 --> 00:04:04,768
We got to get going here.
121
00:04:04,803 --> 00:04:06,702
- I know, goddamn it.
- Where's he going?
122
00:04:06,738 --> 00:04:08,771
- Coming through. Excuse us.
- What, what?
123
00:04:08,803 --> 00:04:10,303
How come he can cut to the front?
124
00:04:10,339 --> 00:04:11,972
Oh, Ethan is here with a special program
125
00:04:12,008 --> 00:04:13,308
for children with leukemia,
126
00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:15,772
so he skips to the front of the line.
127
00:04:15,808 --> 00:04:17,606
Thank you! Coming through.
128
00:04:19,311 --> 00:04:21,044
FRANK: AIDS!
129
00:04:21,077 --> 00:04:23,142
AIDS, I got AIDS.
I got AIDS, we're coming through.
130
00:04:23,179 --> 00:04:25,277
- Yeah, yeah, sorry.
- Cutting through.
131
00:04:25,315 --> 00:04:26,679
I'm his doctor, my patient's got to get
132
00:04:26,679 --> 00:04:27,799
- to the front of the line
- Yeah.
133
00:04:27,834 --> 00:04:29,214
- Because he has AIDS.
- I got the AIDS.
134
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:31,282
He got it from a gay guy in the '80s.
135
00:04:31,318 --> 00:04:32,517
- I'm not gay, I didn't... but...
- Well...
136
00:04:32,553 --> 00:04:34,118
There's two kind of AIDS...
137
00:04:34,152 --> 00:04:36,152
there's the vagina AIDS and
then the needle-based AIDS.
138
00:04:36,188 --> 00:04:38,054
I-I'm a vagina guy.
139
00:04:38,089 --> 00:04:40,121
- Well, no, actually my test results show
- I got... sorry, I'm... AIDS.
140
00:04:40,157 --> 00:04:41,356
that it was the gay AIDS.
141
00:04:41,392 --> 00:04:42,692
- All AIDS are bad.
- Well...
142
00:04:42,724 --> 00:04:43,957
That's... no good AIDS.
143
00:04:43,993 --> 00:04:45,625
But I'm telling you, like I said,
144
00:04:45,659 --> 00:04:47,125
this is not the gay AIDS.
145
00:04:47,159 --> 00:04:49,059
(indistinct chatter, splashing)
146
00:04:58,032 --> 00:04:59,698
Lie back down.
147
00:05:05,404 --> 00:05:07,702
One of these little stinkers yours?
148
00:05:07,738 --> 00:05:08,972
My son.
149
00:05:09,007 --> 00:05:10,205
This one here?
150
00:05:10,239 --> 00:05:11,573
- WOMAN: Mm-hmm.
- Oh, yeah,
151
00:05:11,608 --> 00:05:12,875
- he's adorable.
- (chuckling)
152
00:05:12,909 --> 00:05:13,873
You?
153
00:05:13,909 --> 00:05:15,875
Oh, daughter, yeah.
154
00:05:15,912 --> 00:05:18,010
I try to take her to
fun places like this.
155
00:05:18,046 --> 00:05:19,679
Let a little sunshine back into her life
156
00:05:19,712 --> 00:05:21,378
ever since her mom...
157
00:05:22,916 --> 00:05:25,315
Oh, my God. Did she...
158
00:05:25,351 --> 00:05:27,184
Die horrifically?
159
00:05:27,217 --> 00:05:28,516
Yeah.
160
00:05:28,551 --> 00:05:30,151
Drowning. Kind of ironic,
161
00:05:30,186 --> 00:05:31,318
us being at a water park,
162
00:05:31,352 --> 00:05:32,986
but, you know, you got to...
163
00:05:33,022 --> 00:05:34,854
you got to roll with the punches,
you know?
164
00:05:34,887 --> 00:05:36,488
Got to get back out
there and live life...
165
00:05:36,524 --> 00:05:38,823
Daddy, Daddy, can I borrow $20?
166
00:05:38,859 --> 00:05:40,056
What?
167
00:05:40,092 --> 00:05:42,025
Oh, hi there, what's your name?
168
00:05:42,058 --> 00:05:43,258
Abby.
169
00:05:43,294 --> 00:05:44,526
I'm hungry, Daddy.
170
00:05:44,560 --> 00:05:46,360
Can I please have $20?
171
00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:49,497
Well, I think you can get
something to eat
172
00:05:49,529 --> 00:05:51,229
for a lot less than that, hon.
173
00:05:51,265 --> 00:05:52,565
Dad!
174
00:05:52,601 --> 00:05:54,067
I'm hungry, I'm starving,
175
00:05:54,099 --> 00:05:56,198
and you haven't given me any money.
176
00:05:57,137 --> 00:05:59,569
(sighs) Yeah.
177
00:05:59,604 --> 00:06:00,837
What the hell?
178
00:06:00,871 --> 00:06:02,037
(chuckles)
179
00:06:02,073 --> 00:06:04,404
Anything for my little...
180
00:06:04,438 --> 00:06:05,806
- Abby.
- (chuckles)
181
00:06:10,945 --> 00:06:12,944
Interesting.
182
00:06:14,380 --> 00:06:16,346
What's interesting?
183
00:06:16,378 --> 00:06:18,012
Nothing.
184
00:06:18,049 --> 00:06:19,246
I'm done with you.
185
00:06:19,282 --> 00:06:20,549
Keep up.
186
00:06:24,602 --> 00:06:26,908
- Aah! Jesus.
- You'd think all the pressure
187
00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:27,937
would blast us through.
188
00:06:27,973 --> 00:06:30,405
No, it's just squeezing
me further into the stuck!
189
00:06:30,441 --> 00:06:31,907
Okay, well, get-get the bracelet off.
190
00:06:31,939 --> 00:06:33,738
- Just rip it off.
- Dee, I'm trying.
191
00:06:33,773 --> 00:06:35,574
I can't get any actual leverage on it.
192
00:06:35,610 --> 00:06:36,842
Besides, it's triple-laminated.
193
00:06:36,876 --> 00:06:38,176
- It's not just gonna rip.
- Oh, no.
194
00:06:38,211 --> 00:06:39,578
- I think someone peed.
- What?!
195
00:06:39,610 --> 00:06:40,843
Sherman, did you pee?
196
00:06:40,877 --> 00:06:42,577
- No.
- Sherman, my vial
197
00:06:42,614 --> 00:06:44,013
- is turning light pink.
- MAC: Ugh...
198
00:06:44,047 --> 00:06:46,547
goddamn it, Sherman,
I ordered you not to pee!
199
00:06:46,581 --> 00:06:48,514
- Sorry!
- Oh, disgusting!
200
00:06:48,550 --> 00:06:49,849
Sorry's not gonna cut it, Sherman,
201
00:06:49,884 --> 00:06:51,284
- it's not gonna cut it.
- Nobody else pee!
202
00:06:51,319 --> 00:06:52,552
Ah, the sun's just blasting me
203
00:06:52,586 --> 00:06:53,785
right in the face.
204
00:06:53,821 --> 00:06:55,187
Why does it have to be right there?
205
00:06:55,220 --> 00:06:57,220
Dee, if God put the sun there,
206
00:06:57,256 --> 00:06:58,790
there's probably a reason, okay?
207
00:06:58,823 --> 00:07:00,289
Don't question him; we need God!
208
00:07:00,324 --> 00:07:02,290
God didn't put the sun anywhere.
209
00:07:02,326 --> 00:07:04,927
The sun stays still;
the Earth moves around it.
210
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:06,393
(all scream)
211
00:07:06,427 --> 00:07:07,860
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
- Okay. All right.
212
00:07:07,893 --> 00:07:09,893
We gotta get these kids out of here.
213
00:07:09,929 --> 00:07:11,862
All right. I'm going for it.
I'm just pulling on one of 'em.
214
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,965
Come on. Ah, this friggin'
dome's like a magnifying glass.
215
00:07:14,999 --> 00:07:16,266
(groaning)
216
00:07:16,300 --> 00:07:18,066
MAC: Get him through, I can get him.
217
00:07:18,102 --> 00:07:19,702
(Mac grunts)
218
00:07:19,735 --> 00:07:21,799
- DEE: Get help.
- Okay, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
219
00:07:21,838 --> 00:07:23,804
Kid, kid, kid, listen. Come here.
220
00:07:23,836 --> 00:07:25,469
Before you go,
221
00:07:25,506 --> 00:07:27,771
no matter how alluring it is,
222
00:07:27,807 --> 00:07:29,607
do not put your genitals
or your butthole
223
00:07:29,641 --> 00:07:31,141
near the pool drain. You got it?
224
00:07:31,174 --> 00:07:32,774
- In fact, cover your butthole.
- DEE: Okay, go.
225
00:07:32,809 --> 00:07:34,775
- Okay, kid. Go, kid, go!
- Come on. Go.
226
00:07:34,809 --> 00:07:36,042
Cover that butthole, kid!
227
00:07:36,076 --> 00:07:37,711
Mac. Stop talking to children
228
00:07:37,747 --> 00:07:38,944
about their buttholes, okay?
229
00:07:38,980 --> 00:07:40,146
- It's not appropriate.
- Okay.
230
00:07:40,180 --> 00:07:41,480
Okay.
231
00:07:41,516 --> 00:07:42,915
Uh, I think we gotta get
another kid out.
232
00:07:42,949 --> 00:07:44,215
You know what?
233
00:07:44,249 --> 00:07:45,882
What about this one?
234
00:07:45,915 --> 00:07:47,415
That kid looks passed out, Dee.
235
00:07:47,451 --> 00:07:48,918
Yeah, he's out cold, but I think
236
00:07:48,953 --> 00:07:50,487
I can maneuver his body pretty easily.
237
00:07:50,520 --> 00:07:52,386
Yeah, but if we send him down there,
he might drown.
238
00:07:52,422 --> 00:07:55,256
Guys, I gotta take a poop.
239
00:07:56,790 --> 00:07:58,023
(Mac and Dee grunt)
240
00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:05,628
♪ ♪
241
00:08:09,831 --> 00:08:11,497
- MAN: I see you stealing.
- ABBY: I wasn't stealing them!
242
00:08:11,533 --> 00:08:12,933
I just forgot I was wearing them!
243
00:08:12,966 --> 00:08:14,466
Let go of me!
244
00:08:14,501 --> 00:08:15,799
My dad's a cop!
245
00:08:15,835 --> 00:08:18,503
Abigail! What is going on in here?
246
00:08:18,536 --> 00:08:20,235
Where have you been?
I've been worried sick about you.
247
00:08:20,270 --> 00:08:21,803
- This your daughter?
- Yes.
248
00:08:21,838 --> 00:08:23,405
Officer Dennis Reynolds.
249
00:08:23,439 --> 00:08:24,805
Hi. Off-duty, of course.
250
00:08:24,839 --> 00:08:26,672
This is your jurisdiction.
251
00:08:26,708 --> 00:08:28,108
- Look, I caught her stealing sunglasses.
- Yeah?
252
00:08:28,144 --> 00:08:29,976
- No, I didn't! I was just...
- Abigail,
253
00:08:30,008 --> 00:08:31,675
I gave you $20 to buy
whatever you wanted.
254
00:08:31,712 --> 00:08:32,979
What happened to that?
Do you still have it?
255
00:08:34,978 --> 00:08:36,511
Yes.
256
00:08:36,548 --> 00:08:38,647
Well, then you need to
pay for these sunglasses.
257
00:08:41,116 --> 00:08:42,314
Actually, no. You know what?
258
00:08:42,349 --> 00:08:43,815
On second thought, no.
259
00:08:43,851 --> 00:08:45,517
You don't get the sunglasses.
260
00:08:45,553 --> 00:08:47,785
- You need to be taught a lesson.
- I think that she gets...
261
00:08:47,822 --> 00:08:49,422
I really appreciate
everything that you do.
262
00:08:49,454 --> 00:08:51,753
Real police officer to security guard,
263
00:08:51,790 --> 00:08:53,423
honestly,
I want to thank you for everything.
264
00:08:53,457 --> 00:08:55,289
- Thanks.
- This little girl,
265
00:08:55,324 --> 00:08:56,624
she's gonna be grounded for a month.
266
00:08:56,659 --> 00:08:58,159
Come on, Abigail, let's go.
267
00:08:58,193 --> 00:09:01,160
Try to touch me, and I'll scream "rape."
268
00:09:01,195 --> 00:09:02,528
Please.
269
00:09:02,564 --> 00:09:03,863
I see the road you're headed down:
270
00:09:03,897 --> 00:09:05,330
the lying, the stealing, all of it.
271
00:09:05,365 --> 00:09:06,598
And as somebody who's
been down that road,
272
00:09:06,631 --> 00:09:07,864
let me tell you something:
273
00:09:08,856 --> 00:09:10,098
you've got real talent.
274
00:09:10,133 --> 00:09:11,533
Okay...
275
00:09:11,568 --> 00:09:13,001
Mmm.
276
00:09:13,035 --> 00:09:14,267
That ought to work.
277
00:09:14,301 --> 00:09:15,534
What are you doing?
278
00:09:15,569 --> 00:09:16,969
Oh, it's a simple lunch play.
279
00:09:17,006 --> 00:09:18,639
I tell the burger stand
280
00:09:18,671 --> 00:09:20,370
some hyperactive brat knocked
my food on the ground,
281
00:09:20,405 --> 00:09:21,872
they replace it, no questions asked.
282
00:09:21,906 --> 00:09:23,540
I usually just swipe a burger
283
00:09:23,574 --> 00:09:25,540
off some dumb-ass family
while they're not looking.
284
00:09:25,575 --> 00:09:27,208
Well, that begs the question, Abigail:
285
00:09:27,243 --> 00:09:29,878
you want to be a thief or
do you want to be an artist?
286
00:09:29,913 --> 00:09:31,546
You see, an artist takes whatever
287
00:09:31,578 --> 00:09:34,011
he wants when somebody's
looking right at him.
288
00:09:38,717 --> 00:09:40,216
- These are too small for me.
- Yeah.
289
00:09:40,251 --> 00:09:43,117
- You get the point.
- Yeah.
290
00:09:43,154 --> 00:09:45,352
- ♪ Here comes the hot stepper ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
291
00:09:45,389 --> 00:09:47,521
- ♪ I'm the lyrical gangster ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
292
00:09:47,555 --> 00:09:49,987
- ♪ Pick up the crew in-a de area ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
293
00:09:50,024 --> 00:09:52,024
- ♪ Still love you like that ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
294
00:09:53,325 --> 00:09:55,391
♪ No, no, we don't die ♪
295
00:09:55,428 --> 00:09:57,559
♪ Yes, we multiply ♪
296
00:09:57,596 --> 00:09:59,562
- I got AIDS, AIDS.
- AIDS! Guy with AIDS, coming through.
297
00:09:59,596 --> 00:10:01,629
AIDS, coming through. AIDS, AIDS...
298
00:10:01,665 --> 00:10:02,887
- AIDS!
- Hey, man, go through.
299
00:10:02,887 --> 00:10:03,699
Hey, go for it, go, go, go!
300
00:10:03,733 --> 00:10:05,367
No, you need a raft! You need a raft!
301
00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:07,465
- (whooping)
- ♪ I know what Bo don't know ♪
302
00:10:07,501 --> 00:10:10,368
♪ Touch them up and go, uh-oh ♪
303
00:10:10,402 --> 00:10:12,201
♪ Ch-Ch-Chang-chang ♪
304
00:10:12,237 --> 00:10:13,402
- ♪ Here comes the hot stepper ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
305
00:10:13,436 --> 00:10:14,401
♪ I'm the lyrical gangster... ♪
306
00:10:14,438 --> 00:10:16,804
(both shouting excitedly)
307
00:10:16,839 --> 00:10:19,071
- ♪ Excuse me, Mr. Officer ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
308
00:10:19,108 --> 00:10:20,641
- ♪ Still love you like that ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
309
00:10:20,675 --> 00:10:22,574
- Ah! Ah!
- Ow!
310
00:10:22,609 --> 00:10:23,909
- ♪ Extraordinary ♪
- Go.
311
00:10:23,944 --> 00:10:26,977
- ♪ Juice like a strawberry ♪
- Go.
312
00:10:27,012 --> 00:10:28,912
- My camera!
- Oh, great, your camera.
313
00:10:28,948 --> 00:10:30,314
I was really worried about that.
314
00:10:30,347 --> 00:10:32,013
This is my watch.
315
00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:35,983
♪ Cut to fade is me,
fade to cut is she ♪
316
00:10:36,017 --> 00:10:40,052
♪ Come juggle with me,
I say every time ♪
317
00:10:40,085 --> 00:10:42,350
- ♪ Here comes the hot stepper ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
318
00:10:42,387 --> 00:10:44,554
- Go.
- (screams)
319
00:10:44,589 --> 00:10:46,421
- Go.
- (screams)
320
00:10:46,457 --> 00:10:48,889
- My sunglasses.
- Oh, all of our chains!
321
00:10:48,925 --> 00:10:50,091
You know how hard it is
to get all of our chains.
322
00:10:50,126 --> 00:10:51,091
- AIDS...
- AIDS, AIDS!
323
00:10:51,126 --> 00:10:52,559
♪ Na, na-na-na-na ♪
324
00:10:52,593 --> 00:10:54,525
♪ Na-na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na ♪
325
00:10:54,561 --> 00:10:56,494
♪ Na-na-na-na ♪
326
00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:57,830
KID: Ow!
327
00:10:57,866 --> 00:11:00,264
Stop sending kids, nerd!
328
00:11:00,300 --> 00:11:02,431
- You goddamn nerd!
- Go.
329
00:11:02,466 --> 00:11:04,100
- We're making good time.
- We're doin' it, Charlie.
330
00:11:04,136 --> 00:11:05,669
We're pretty much...
we're pretty much caught up.
331
00:11:05,703 --> 00:11:08,370
Whoa, hey, hey, guys!
332
00:11:08,402 --> 00:11:10,335
What are you guys doing?
You guys doing a AIDS thing?
333
00:11:10,372 --> 00:11:11,570
- Oh, yeah!
- Yeah.
334
00:11:11,606 --> 00:11:12,905
I gave Frank a couple hickeys
335
00:11:12,939 --> 00:11:14,372
- to sell the lesions.
- Sucked on 'em.
336
00:11:14,405 --> 00:11:15,839
Yeah, yeah.
337
00:11:15,875 --> 00:11:17,241
You doing a fake daughter thing?
338
00:11:17,276 --> 00:11:19,608
- Yeah.
- Cool. All right, man, see ya.
339
00:11:19,642 --> 00:11:21,408
- See ya.
- (starts fake crying)
340
00:11:21,444 --> 00:11:23,843
- ♪ I'm the lyrical gangster ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
341
00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,846
- ♪ Excuse me, Mr. Officer ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
342
00:11:25,881 --> 00:11:29,616
- ♪ Still love you like that ♪
- ♪ Murderer ♪
343
00:11:29,650 --> 00:11:30,883
(thud, screaming)
344
00:11:34,753 --> 00:11:37,521
♪ Act like you know, G go ♪
345
00:11:37,554 --> 00:11:39,588
♪ I know what Bo don't know ♪
346
00:11:39,623 --> 00:11:41,788
♪ Touch them up and go, uh-oh ♪
347
00:11:41,824 --> 00:11:44,593
Three, two, one, go!
348
00:11:44,626 --> 00:11:47,194
(whooping)
349
00:11:47,227 --> 00:11:49,093
I got AIDS!
350
00:11:49,126 --> 00:11:50,226
(whooping)
351
00:11:51,930 --> 00:11:54,129
Yeah! (whooping)
352
00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:00,274
- Frank, we did it, man!
- Charlie!
353
00:12:00,310 --> 00:12:01,609
- With time to spare!
- Charlie! We...
354
00:12:01,642 --> 00:12:03,940
- Every single ride in here!
- We won!
355
00:12:03,978 --> 00:12:05,344
CHARLIE: Hey! Hey, hey, hey!
356
00:12:05,378 --> 00:12:06,510
Hey! Suck on that, river rat!
357
00:12:06,546 --> 00:12:07,778
- Every ride!
- (laughs)
358
00:12:07,814 --> 00:12:09,912
(both laughing)
359
00:12:09,949 --> 00:12:11,147
- We did it.
- Oh, shit.
360
00:12:11,182 --> 00:12:13,215
Frank. Look at this!
361
00:12:15,718 --> 00:12:17,251
- Oh.
- Oh...
362
00:12:17,287 --> 00:12:18,787
What... what is that?
363
00:12:18,820 --> 00:12:20,618
I don't know.
364
00:12:20,653 --> 00:12:22,287
I mean, that-that's not on the map...
what ride is that?
365
00:12:22,322 --> 00:12:23,454
Excuse me?
366
00:12:23,489 --> 00:12:24,621
- Excuse me, ma'am?
- Yeah?
367
00:12:24,657 --> 00:12:26,023
What is this ride over here?
368
00:12:26,057 --> 00:12:27,090
Oh, that's our new slide.
369
00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:28,491
It's, uh, Thunder Gun Express.
370
00:12:28,526 --> 00:12:29,825
We just finished construction.
371
00:12:29,859 --> 00:12:31,326
It'll be open in a few weeks.
372
00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:32,325
- A Thunder Gun ride?
- Yeah.
373
00:12:32,362 --> 00:12:33,493
Like the movie?
374
00:12:33,527 --> 00:12:35,027
Yeah, but there's no water
or anything yet,
375
00:12:35,062 --> 00:12:36,529
- so we still have to test it.
- Oh, yeah.
376
00:12:36,562 --> 00:12:37,995
It's totally dry.
377
00:12:38,032 --> 00:12:39,364
- Okay, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- It's not, it's not...
378
00:12:39,399 --> 00:12:41,497
no, but it's not, it's,
it's not open yet.
379
00:12:41,532 --> 00:12:42,831
It's Thunder Gun, man. No hesitation.
380
00:12:42,867 --> 00:12:44,666
- No, no, no.
- No surrender. No man left behind.
381
00:12:44,701 --> 00:12:46,201
We got to get to the top of that slide.
382
00:12:46,234 --> 00:12:48,768
And raw-dog the shit out of it!
383
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,302
(indistinct chatter)
384
00:12:50,339 --> 00:12:51,338
(huffs)
385
00:12:51,372 --> 00:12:52,537
- Mac?
- Yeah?
386
00:12:52,572 --> 00:12:54,205
My vial is blood red.
387
00:12:54,242 --> 00:12:55,842
That's because the water's not
even running through anymore.
388
00:12:55,874 --> 00:12:57,341
It's just pooling up.
389
00:12:57,375 --> 00:12:58,941
- Well, I got to tell you something, though, I...
- Huh?
390
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:00,944
I don't know if I'm gonna be
able to hold it much longer.
391
00:13:00,976 --> 00:13:02,842
- What?!
- I-I've been in here for so long, I-I...
392
00:13:02,879 --> 00:13:04,678
Don't you do it, Dee! Don't you do it!
393
00:13:04,713 --> 00:13:06,013
The problem is it's already happening.
394
00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:07,479
I'm peeing on your shoulder right now.
395
00:13:07,516 --> 00:13:09,449
- But I don't mean to, I'm sorry.
- (groaning)
396
00:13:09,483 --> 00:13:10,481
- It's warm.
- You bitch!
397
00:13:10,517 --> 00:13:12,017
When we get out of here,
I'm gonna kill you!
398
00:13:12,051 --> 00:13:13,684
What am I supposed to do?
How are you even holding your pee?
399
00:13:13,719 --> 00:13:15,152
We've been stuck in here forever!
400
00:13:15,186 --> 00:13:16,787
Oh, I peed as soon
as we got in the slide.
401
00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:17,860
- Me, too.
- What?!
402
00:13:17,861 --> 00:13:18,661
(laughter)
403
00:13:18,688 --> 00:13:19,989
- Ew!
- What?!
404
00:13:20,022 --> 00:13:21,322
These animals are, they're laughing!
405
00:13:21,357 --> 00:13:22,522
Of course they are!
406
00:13:22,557 --> 00:13:24,024
I think they're actually
enjoying this shit!
407
00:13:24,059 --> 00:13:25,190
Oh, they love every second of it!
408
00:13:25,225 --> 00:13:26,390
- They're just pissing all over us!
- Goddamn it.
409
00:13:26,426 --> 00:13:28,859
We're gonna die in here with them!
410
00:13:28,894 --> 00:13:30,461
Wait, wait, wait. Wait a second, Dee.
411
00:13:30,494 --> 00:13:32,527
- I've got an idea!
- What?
412
00:13:32,562 --> 00:13:34,029
If we can get Sherman's mouth
413
00:13:34,064 --> 00:13:36,162
to this bracelet,
we can get out of here.
414
00:13:36,199 --> 00:13:37,164
You said you couldn't rip through it.
415
00:13:37,200 --> 00:13:38,165
No, I can't.
416
00:13:38,200 --> 00:13:40,066
But Sherman can chew through it!
417
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:42,066
Like the girl in the pool drain
418
00:13:42,103 --> 00:13:44,301
when she got her anus stuck,
she chewed through
419
00:13:44,338 --> 00:13:47,405
her prolapsed anus and
chewed herself to freedom.
420
00:13:47,439 --> 00:13:49,072
- What are you talking about?!
- Sherman!
421
00:13:49,105 --> 00:13:50,871
Get your mouth to this
bracelet and chew!
422
00:13:50,907 --> 00:13:52,005
Aw, screw it. Try it.
423
00:13:52,041 --> 00:13:53,308
Chew like you've never chewed before.
424
00:13:53,343 --> 00:13:54,743
Go, Sherman, chew!
425
00:13:54,777 --> 00:13:57,176
(indistinct chatter)
426
00:13:59,113 --> 00:14:00,112
Whoa!
427
00:14:01,379 --> 00:14:03,212
Whoa! Hey, hey, hey, hey!
What are you doing?
428
00:14:03,248 --> 00:14:04,715
I got some boy to give me this.
429
00:14:04,748 --> 00:14:07,248
I said I'd kiss him if he
met me in the parking lot.
430
00:14:07,282 --> 00:14:09,916
Then I swiped his wristband,
so he can't get back in.
431
00:14:09,950 --> 00:14:11,016
(laughs) Nice.
432
00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:12,917
Thanks. Well, I got to roll.
433
00:14:12,954 --> 00:14:14,488
What do you mean? Where you going?
434
00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:15,920
We're just getting started.
435
00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:18,388
Yeah, but my mom said
it's time to leave.
436
00:14:18,423 --> 00:14:20,721
DENNIS: Wow.
437
00:14:20,758 --> 00:14:23,022
That's a disappointing
glimpse into your future.
438
00:14:23,060 --> 00:14:24,159
Now, why don't you tell your mom
439
00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:25,426
you want to stick around
for a little while?
440
00:14:25,461 --> 00:14:26,493
That won't work.
441
00:14:26,528 --> 00:14:28,094
She never listens to me.
442
00:14:28,128 --> 00:14:30,194
Oh, now, see, no. That bothers me.
443
00:14:30,230 --> 00:14:33,231
A genius whose fate is
controlled by an idiot?
444
00:14:33,266 --> 00:14:35,698
You think I'm a genius?
445
00:14:35,734 --> 00:14:37,267
Yes! Yes, I think you're a genius.
446
00:14:37,302 --> 00:14:38,602
Are you kidding me?
447
00:14:38,636 --> 00:14:40,202
When I was your age,
I couldn't have accomplished
448
00:14:40,237 --> 00:14:41,704
half the things you did today.
449
00:14:41,737 --> 00:14:43,370
See, this is why the
Chinese are destroying us.
450
00:14:43,406 --> 00:14:44,705
If you were born in China,
451
00:14:44,740 --> 00:14:46,374
you'd be the head of
some factory by now.
452
00:14:47,474 --> 00:14:49,240
Or they would've thrown you in a river,
453
00:14:49,277 --> 00:14:50,877
'cause you weren't a boy.
454
00:14:50,910 --> 00:14:52,343
All right, it's not a great analogy,
455
00:14:52,378 --> 00:14:53,610
but you get my point.
456
00:14:53,644 --> 00:14:54,877
A-Abby...
457
00:14:54,912 --> 00:14:56,611
you deserve better.
458
00:14:56,647 --> 00:14:59,715
Here, I... I want you to have it.
459
00:14:59,748 --> 00:15:01,014
No, what do you mean? You earned that.
460
00:15:01,048 --> 00:15:02,415
No, please, take it.
461
00:15:02,450 --> 00:15:05,051
So you never forget me.
462
00:15:07,085 --> 00:15:08,885
Thanks, Dennis.
463
00:15:08,921 --> 00:15:12,156
For being the first adult to
actually give a shit about me.
464
00:15:18,091 --> 00:15:19,258
DENNIS: You!
465
00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:20,893
Yes?
466
00:15:20,926 --> 00:15:22,057
We need to have a conversation.
467
00:15:22,094 --> 00:15:23,225
Your daughter is a special kid.
468
00:15:23,261 --> 00:15:25,796
A gifted child who should be treasured.
469
00:15:25,830 --> 00:15:28,061
If she were born in China, she...
470
00:15:28,098 --> 00:15:29,864
Wait, I already did that.
471
00:15:29,899 --> 00:15:30,898
Didn't work.
472
00:15:30,932 --> 00:15:32,697
If she were born in...
473
00:15:32,734 --> 00:15:34,900
What country treasures their women?
474
00:15:34,936 --> 00:15:37,201
- What are you talking about?
- What am I talking about?
475
00:15:37,238 --> 00:15:39,237
Mom, can I have a slushy?
476
00:15:39,271 --> 00:15:40,704
Yes, in just a minute.
477
00:15:40,738 --> 00:15:41,936
Is that Abby's brother?
478
00:15:41,973 --> 00:15:43,070
I don't have a daughter.
479
00:15:43,105 --> 00:15:44,407
Yes, you do. The girl that was just...
480
00:15:47,676 --> 00:15:49,841
ABBY: Please take it.
481
00:15:52,513 --> 00:15:54,211
So you never forget me.
482
00:15:54,247 --> 00:15:57,680
DENNIS: See, an artist
takes whatever he wants...
483
00:15:58,916 --> 00:16:00,015
...when somebody's looking right at him.
484
00:16:06,253 --> 00:16:08,119
What is wrong with you? Why are you...?
485
00:16:08,157 --> 00:16:09,590
(shushing)
486
00:16:12,758 --> 00:16:15,191
(quietly): Huh.
487
00:16:16,359 --> 00:16:18,292
(Charlie whistles)
488
00:16:18,329 --> 00:16:20,061
How would you even describe
something like that?
489
00:16:20,096 --> 00:16:21,496
It's so beautiful.
490
00:16:21,531 --> 00:16:23,330
They should've sent a poet.
491
00:16:23,364 --> 00:16:25,463
- All right, let's go, let's go.
- Okay.
492
00:16:25,499 --> 00:16:26,630
- All right, all right.
- Okay.
493
00:16:26,666 --> 00:16:29,267
- Here we go.
- (laughing)
494
00:16:29,301 --> 00:16:30,499
Oh, oh.
495
00:16:30,536 --> 00:16:31,936
All right.
496
00:16:31,969 --> 00:16:33,133
This should be good, right?
497
00:16:33,170 --> 00:16:34,168
Oh, that's great.
498
00:16:34,204 --> 00:16:35,303
- That'll do it.
- Oh!
499
00:16:35,339 --> 00:16:36,638
Who's going first?
500
00:16:36,671 --> 00:16:39,139
Well, it should be you, right?
501
00:16:39,173 --> 00:16:40,506
I mean, you pulled off the AIDS thing.
502
00:16:40,541 --> 00:16:42,507
Oh, Charlie! Charlie!
503
00:16:42,543 --> 00:16:43,609
All right!
504
00:16:43,644 --> 00:16:44,742
Let's go before we get caught.
505
00:16:44,778 --> 00:16:45,743
Let's go before we get busted, okay?
506
00:16:45,776 --> 00:16:46,741
- All right, here we go.
- All right.
507
00:16:46,776 --> 00:16:48,143
- All right.
- Ready, Frankie!
508
00:16:48,178 --> 00:16:49,910
- I won't let you down!
- All right!
509
00:16:49,946 --> 00:16:52,178
- I like the spirit here.
- Oh!
510
00:16:52,215 --> 00:16:54,415
- (squeaking)
- Oh, it burns! It burns! It burns! It burns!
511
00:16:54,451 --> 00:16:56,250
Aah!
512
00:16:56,283 --> 00:16:58,382
(shouting)
513
00:17:01,821 --> 00:17:02,986
(shouts)
514
00:17:03,022 --> 00:17:04,589
My back!
515
00:17:04,624 --> 00:17:05,689
That guy has AIDS!
516
00:17:05,724 --> 00:17:07,821
Aah! Aah, my back!
517
00:17:07,857 --> 00:17:09,357
(crowd clamoring)
518
00:17:10,318 --> 00:17:11,927
AIDS! Everybody out.
519
00:17:11,961 --> 00:17:13,428
Aah! Aah!
520
00:17:13,461 --> 00:17:15,359
- (Frank grunting)
- (crowd clamoring)
521
00:17:20,965 --> 00:17:21,929
We're free!
522
00:17:21,965 --> 00:17:22,930
Oh, my God!
523
00:17:22,966 --> 00:17:23,931
Ah, we're free!
524
00:17:23,967 --> 00:17:25,200
My God!
525
00:17:25,697 --> 00:17:26,534
Is that blood?
526
00:17:26,570 --> 00:17:28,035
There's AIDS blood in the pool!
527
00:17:28,069 --> 00:17:29,368
That's goddamn AIDS blood?!
528
00:17:29,404 --> 00:17:30,936
(crowd screaming)
529
00:17:30,970 --> 00:17:32,803
Has anyone seen my son?
530
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:34,106
Goddamn it!
531
00:17:34,139 --> 00:17:36,608
I hate this goddamn water park!
532
00:17:36,641 --> 00:17:39,040
(dramatic music playing)
533
00:17:56,106 --> 00:17:57,306
- synced and corrected by sot26 -
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