1
00:00:01,351 --> 00:00:04,184
Okay.
Are you from the Star Wars universe?
2
00:00:04,354 --> 00:00:05,378
Yes.
3
00:00:05,555 --> 00:00:07,648
- Were you in the original trilogy?
- Yes.
4
00:00:08,091 --> 00:00:11,891
Is there a picture of you in my wallet
wearing a metal bikini?
5
00:00:13,429 --> 00:00:14,794
God, I hope not.
6
00:00:15,698 --> 00:00:19,361
- No, I'm not Princess Leia.
- Okay, my turn.
7
00:00:19,535 --> 00:00:21,696
Are you in all six Star Wars movies?
8
00:00:21,871 --> 00:00:23,304
- Yes.
- Interesting.
9
00:00:23,473 --> 00:00:25,737
- Are you a droid?
- Yes.
10
00:00:25,908 --> 00:00:28,638
Do you kind of look like a shiny Sheldon?
11
00:00:30,246 --> 00:00:31,838
Yes.
12
00:00:32,348 --> 00:00:34,839
- C-3P0.
- You got it.
13
00:00:35,651 --> 00:00:39,314
That's preposterous.
I do not resemble C-3P0.
14
00:00:39,489 --> 00:00:42,856
Don't get me wrong, I'm flattered,
I just don't see it.
15
00:00:44,193 --> 00:00:46,184
[CELL PHONE RINGING]
16
00:00:48,064 --> 00:00:49,793
Leslie Winkle. Ahem.
17
00:00:49,966 --> 00:00:52,799
You've reached Friends with Benefits.
18
00:00:53,369 --> 00:00:56,827
For a booty call, press 1 now.
19
00:00:58,808 --> 00:01:02,209
What exactly does that expression mean,
"friends with benefits"?
20
00:01:02,378 --> 00:01:05,176
Does he provide her
with health insurance?
21
00:01:06,082 --> 00:01:07,379
No.
22
00:01:07,550 --> 00:01:11,281
Look, imagine you maintained a friendship
with someone you had sex with...
23
00:01:11,454 --> 00:01:14,287
...but you were free to date
whoever you wanted.
24
00:01:15,291 --> 00:01:17,782
I'm sorry, I can't imagine any of that.
25
00:01:19,028 --> 00:01:20,655
All right, back to the game.
26
00:01:20,830 --> 00:01:22,024
I believe it's my turn.
27
00:01:22,198 --> 00:01:24,428
You may begin your questions
whenever you're ready.
28
00:01:24,600 --> 00:01:26,397
Are you Spock?
29
00:01:30,406 --> 00:01:32,567
I don't like this game.
30
00:01:33,776 --> 00:01:35,539
So where were we?
31
00:01:35,711 --> 00:01:38,874
- Aren't you leaving for your booty call?
- No, it was something else.
32
00:01:39,048 --> 00:01:41,812
Why does everything
have to be about sex with you? Come on.
33
00:01:41,984 --> 00:01:43,212
Whose turn is it?
34
00:01:43,386 --> 00:01:44,580
- We're up to you.
HOWARD: Great.
35
00:01:44,754 --> 00:01:46,949
- Just start.
- Okay, let's see.
36
00:01:47,123 --> 00:01:49,717
Are you from a TV series?
37
00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:51,325
She dumped me.
38
00:01:52,428 --> 00:01:53,725
[CRYING]
39
00:01:54,564 --> 00:01:58,091
I bet he's someone from Babylon 5.
We're never gonna get it.
40
00:02:23,159 --> 00:02:25,354
What happened with Leslie?
Why did she dump you?
41
00:02:25,528 --> 00:02:30,261
I don't know. She just said,
"Howard, Mama's a rolling stone."
42
00:02:32,034 --> 00:02:35,470
Then her call waiting beeped,
and she was gone.
43
00:02:37,140 --> 00:02:38,471
I don't understand.
44
00:02:38,641 --> 00:02:41,075
If you were in a non-emotional
relationship...
45
00:02:41,244 --> 00:02:45,078
...then why are you having
what appears to be an emotional response?
46
00:02:45,248 --> 00:02:47,910
Sheldon,
he obviously had feelings for her.
47
00:02:48,084 --> 00:02:53,078
Of course I had feelings for her.
I saw her naked for God's sake.
48
00:02:53,556 --> 00:02:55,820
Okay, look,
you just need to get your mind off it.
49
00:02:55,992 --> 00:02:58,756
Do you wanna go to the comic-book store,
maybe see a movie?
50
00:02:58,928 --> 00:03:00,953
I don't wanna go anywhere.
51
00:03:01,130 --> 00:03:02,688
You know...
52
00:03:02,865 --> 00:03:06,164
...l'm given to understand
that there's an entire city in Nevada...
53
00:03:06,335 --> 00:03:11,102
...designed specifically to help people
like Howard forget their problems.
54
00:03:12,175 --> 00:03:14,871
We can replace them
with new problems such as alcoholism...
55
00:03:15,044 --> 00:03:18,445
...gambling addiction
and sexually-transmitted diseases.
56
00:03:20,483 --> 00:03:25,443
Is it me or was that Sheldon's way
of saying, "Vegas, baby"?
57
00:03:26,989 --> 00:03:29,082
- I've never been there, have you?
- Me? No.
58
00:03:29,258 --> 00:03:33,058
I just got "Vegas, baby!"
from Vince Vaughn in Swingers.
59
00:03:34,197 --> 00:03:38,657
That could be fun, and I know
my weekend's wide open now that....
60
00:03:39,101 --> 00:03:41,092
[SIGHS]
61
00:03:41,737 --> 00:03:44,365
Okay, let's do this. Let's go to Las Vegas.
62
00:03:44,540 --> 00:03:45,837
Now? Right now?
63
00:03:46,008 --> 00:03:48,306
Why not?
People do things right now all the time.
64
00:03:48,477 --> 00:03:50,342
Why can't we be "right now" people too?
65
00:03:50,513 --> 00:03:53,482
Go home, pack a bag,
and we'll be "right now" people.
66
00:03:53,649 --> 00:03:56,345
I have to stop at the drugstore
to refill a prescription...
67
00:03:56,519 --> 00:03:58,885
...but after that, we'll go right now.
68
00:03:59,488 --> 00:04:04,187
- What do you say, Howard?
- I say, Vegas, baby.
69
00:04:04,627 --> 00:04:08,028
- What are you gonna tell your mother?
- SeaWorld, baby.
70
00:04:12,235 --> 00:04:13,759
Hey, Sheldon, are you coming?
71
00:04:13,936 --> 00:04:19,272
I'd rather have a blowfly lay eggs
and hatch larvae in my auditory canal.
72
00:04:21,410 --> 00:04:23,344
Great, we'll bring you back a T-shirt.
73
00:04:27,216 --> 00:04:28,342
SHELDON:
Thank you.
74
00:04:29,585 --> 00:04:31,348
Hello, neighbor.
75
00:04:31,520 --> 00:04:33,317
Hello, Sheldon.
76
00:04:33,489 --> 00:04:35,684
And how are you this fine evening?
77
00:04:35,858 --> 00:04:38,850
- Great.
- Good, I'm glad.
78
00:04:39,028 --> 00:04:41,519
PENNY:
Really? Are you drunk?
79
00:04:41,697 --> 00:04:43,187
I'm just in a good mood.
80
00:04:43,366 --> 00:04:45,664
While my compatriots are in Las Vegas...
81
00:04:45,835 --> 00:04:50,363
...I will be enjoying a blissful evening
in my personal Fortress of Solitude.
82
00:04:50,539 --> 00:04:53,736
That's Superman's big ice thingy, right?
83
00:04:53,943 --> 00:04:57,504
You know, I'm in such a good mood,
I'm actually finding your tenuous grasp...
84
00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:01,138
...of the English language
folksy and charming today.
85
00:05:02,718 --> 00:05:04,208
Mmm. What smells so good?
86
00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:08,551
That is the intoxicating aroma
of Kadhai Paneer.
87
00:05:08,724 --> 00:05:11,887
A perfect culinary representation
of the freedom this evening holds.
88
00:05:12,061 --> 00:05:14,996
Not only is it Indian cuisine,
which Koothrappali loathes...
89
00:05:15,164 --> 00:05:17,291
...it contains a generous helping
of peanuts...
90
00:05:17,466 --> 00:05:21,527
...which would reduce Wolowitz
to a wheezing 97-pound blister.
91
00:05:22,972 --> 00:05:25,634
And finally,
its main ingredient is paneer...
92
00:05:25,808 --> 00:05:28,868
...a farmer's cheese that would cause
Leonard to render any room...
93
00:05:29,045 --> 00:05:31,878
...uninhabitable within minutes.
94
00:05:34,450 --> 00:05:35,678
Yum.
95
00:05:36,786 --> 00:05:39,584
- Well, enjoy your big evening.
- Penny?
96
00:05:40,222 --> 00:05:42,383
I realize you're also on your own tonight.
97
00:05:42,558 --> 00:05:45,356
So if at some point
you find yourself with nothing to do...
98
00:05:45,528 --> 00:05:47,587
...please do not disturb me.
99
00:05:48,931 --> 00:05:52,162
- Have fun, Sheldon.
- Oh, I shall.
100
00:05:52,335 --> 00:05:54,326
[HUMMING "SUPERMAN" THEME SONG]
101
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:05,937
No!
102
00:06:07,216 --> 00:06:10,777
What's wrong, Superman?
Locked out of your big ice thingy?
103
00:06:19,595 --> 00:06:20,619
Look at this.
104
00:06:20,796 --> 00:06:24,129
Mouthwash, lotion, body wash,
shampoo and conditioner...
105
00:06:24,300 --> 00:06:27,292
...together in one tiny bottle.
106
00:06:27,470 --> 00:06:29,301
I love Las Vegas.
107
00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:32,699
Hey, Howard,
can I borrow some aftershave?
108
00:06:32,875 --> 00:06:34,467
Black case, top compartment.
109
00:06:40,549 --> 00:06:41,880
That's a lot of cologne.
110
00:06:42,051 --> 00:06:43,985
HOWARD:
First row are your musks.
111
00:06:44,153 --> 00:06:46,713
Second is woods, leathers and botanicals.
112
00:06:46,889 --> 00:06:50,916
Third is assorted pheromones.
Tread lightly.
113
00:06:57,099 --> 00:06:59,761
That's the spirit, Howard.
114
00:07:00,202 --> 00:07:02,830
Yes, we can.
115
00:07:05,374 --> 00:07:06,398
Come on, let's go.
116
00:07:06,575 --> 00:07:09,601
You guys go ahead.
I just have to finish up an e-mail.
117
00:07:09,879 --> 00:07:13,144
That's not an e-mail,
that's Leslie's Facebook page.
118
00:07:13,315 --> 00:07:15,340
Okay, fine.
I'm checking her Facebook page.
119
00:07:15,518 --> 00:07:16,712
Look at her status update.
120
00:07:16,886 --> 00:07:19,719
She's saying she dumped me.
People need to know I dumped her.
121
00:07:20,823 --> 00:07:22,256
But she did dump you.
122
00:07:23,359 --> 00:07:27,193
Grow up, Raj.
There's no place for truth on the Internet.
123
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,966
Just go. I'll catch up with you.
124
00:07:32,134 --> 00:07:33,999
All right.
125
00:07:34,170 --> 00:07:36,638
We should have a plan
in case one of us gets lucky.
126
00:07:39,642 --> 00:07:40,939
Okay, uh....
127
00:07:41,110 --> 00:07:44,602
If I get lucky, I'll take her to my stately
manor outside Gotham City...
128
00:07:44,780 --> 00:07:49,615
...and if you get lucky,
I'll sleep on the moon.
129
00:07:50,386 --> 00:07:52,217
Sounds like a plan.
130
00:07:54,056 --> 00:07:57,048
Hang on, I think the emergency key
is around here somewhere.
131
00:07:57,226 --> 00:07:59,490
We have a bowl.
132
00:07:59,695 --> 00:08:02,220
Our keys go in a bowl.
133
00:08:02,398 --> 00:08:04,491
You should get a bowl.
134
00:08:04,934 --> 00:08:08,961
So how did the beautiful mind of Sheldon
Cooper forget his key in the first place?
135
00:08:09,939 --> 00:08:12,237
I left them in the bowl.
136
00:08:12,975 --> 00:08:15,409
Uh-oh. I remembered
where the emergency key is.
137
00:08:15,578 --> 00:08:17,569
- Where?
- In your apartment.
138
00:08:17,746 --> 00:08:19,213
What's it doing in my apartment?
139
00:08:19,381 --> 00:08:22,782
I went in there a few weeks ago,
and you guys weren't home, and I forgot it.
140
00:08:22,952 --> 00:08:26,513
You went in my...? Why would...?
What are you saying?
141
00:08:26,689 --> 00:08:29,089
Not a big deal.
I was making coffee and ran out of milk.
142
00:08:29,258 --> 00:08:31,818
You're the milk thief.
143
00:08:33,629 --> 00:08:37,565
Leonard said I was crazy,
but I knew that carton felt lighter.
144
00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:40,934
All right, Sheldon, calm down.
I'll call the building manager.
145
00:08:41,103 --> 00:08:43,970
He'll come open your door.
Just eat here while you're waiting.
146
00:08:44,139 --> 00:08:47,472
Eat my dinner in your apartment?
147
00:08:47,643 --> 00:08:50,510
- Yeah, why not?
- Sure, why not?
148
00:08:50,679 --> 00:08:53,307
And after the sun's down,
we can all pile in my pickup...
149
00:08:53,482 --> 00:08:55,780
...and go skinny-dipping
down at the crick.
150
00:08:57,286 --> 00:09:00,278
Because today's the day
that stopped making sense.
151
00:09:03,793 --> 00:09:05,818
- Thanks.
- I'm telling you, Leonard.
152
00:09:05,995 --> 00:09:10,261
Video slots, free drinks brought to us
by a bosomy barmaid...
153
00:09:10,433 --> 00:09:12,560
...and all-you-can-eat shrimp for 3.95?
154
00:09:14,237 --> 00:09:16,967
Disneyland can suck it.
155
00:09:19,409 --> 00:09:22,572
This is the real happiest place on Earth.
156
00:09:23,012 --> 00:09:25,003
[COINS JINGLING]
157
00:09:25,548 --> 00:09:28,847
Dude, check it out.
That's laundry for a month.
158
00:09:31,154 --> 00:09:32,781
Hi.
159
00:09:39,062 --> 00:09:40,620
Hello.
160
00:09:41,731 --> 00:09:45,997
- What's your name?
- Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali.
161
00:09:46,436 --> 00:09:48,597
Hello, Rajesh Ram...
162
00:09:48,771 --> 00:09:50,636
Hi, Rajesh.
163
00:09:51,307 --> 00:09:53,298
- I'm Mikayla.
- Hello, Mikayla.
164
00:09:53,810 --> 00:09:55,869
So are you interested in a little party?
165
00:09:56,346 --> 00:09:59,941
Oh, my, yes. I love to party.
166
00:10:00,116 --> 00:10:01,481
"Party" is my middle name.
167
00:10:01,651 --> 00:10:04,711
Or it would be if it weren't "Ramayan."
168
00:10:06,155 --> 00:10:09,124
- Uh, Raj, can I talk to you for a moment?
- Not now, Leonard...
169
00:10:09,292 --> 00:10:11,123
...Mikayla's inviting me to a party.
170
00:10:11,895 --> 00:10:14,887
You'd better call the moon
and make sure they have a bed for you.
171
00:10:17,667 --> 00:10:20,033
Yeah, I really need to talk to you.
172
00:10:20,470 --> 00:10:23,439
Excuse me. I'll be right back.
Don't go anywhere. Don't move.
173
00:10:23,606 --> 00:10:27,736
Just stay the beautiful unspoiled
American flower that you are.
174
00:10:29,245 --> 00:10:32,681
What's wrong with you, dude?
That woman is all up on my jammy.
175
00:10:33,149 --> 00:10:37,950
Okay, I hate to break this to you
and whatever your jammy is...
176
00:10:38,121 --> 00:10:40,487
...but I'm pretty sure she's a prostitute.
177
00:10:40,657 --> 00:10:42,056
What?
178
00:10:42,759 --> 00:10:46,286
- No.
- Okay, let me put it this way.
179
00:10:46,462 --> 00:10:50,057
In your entire life, how many gorgeous
women have walked up to you at a bar...
180
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,827
...and asked if you wanted to party?
181
00:10:55,505 --> 00:10:57,769
Maybe I can save her.
182
00:10:59,809 --> 00:11:04,337
Maybe. But I'm guessing it'll cost you
about $500 an hour to try.
183
00:11:08,885 --> 00:11:13,151
It was lovely meeting you.
Best of luck in your future endeavors.
184
00:11:14,590 --> 00:11:16,421
Whatever.
185
00:11:17,393 --> 00:11:19,918
Oh, I miss her already.
186
00:11:21,064 --> 00:11:22,395
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
187
00:11:23,700 --> 00:11:25,292
Oh, Howard's losing it.
188
00:11:25,468 --> 00:11:27,595
Check out his latest Twitters.
189
00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:31,399
"I'm at the bottom of a black hole
staring into the abyss.
190
00:11:31,574 --> 00:11:35,032
My life is meaningless.
My future is without hope."
191
00:11:35,211 --> 00:11:37,873
Why don't we take him
to see the Blue Man Group?
192
00:11:38,781 --> 00:11:39,873
You think that'd help?
193
00:11:40,049 --> 00:11:43,815
USA Today calls them
"Exuberant fun for the whole family."
194
00:11:44,253 --> 00:11:47,620
I don't know. Howard isn't really
the "family fun" kind of guy.
195
00:11:48,725 --> 00:11:50,716
It's too bad he wasn't here
for that hooker.
196
00:11:50,893 --> 00:11:52,918
She's exactly his type:
197
00:11:53,096 --> 00:11:54,757
A hooker.
198
00:11:55,698 --> 00:11:59,156
You know, I bet if we hired her,
that would cheer him up.
199
00:11:59,335 --> 00:12:01,963
We're not going to get
Wolowitz a hooker.
200
00:12:02,138 --> 00:12:03,605
[CELL PHONE BEEPS]
201
00:12:06,242 --> 00:12:08,142
"I'm so lonely and horny...
202
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:12,805
...I may open this $20 jar of peanuts
and end it all."
203
00:12:17,387 --> 00:12:20,288
I suppose it wouldn't hurt
to get an estimate.
204
00:12:25,094 --> 00:12:27,255
So how was your day?
205
00:12:28,698 --> 00:12:30,996
Are you trying to make small talk?
206
00:12:31,167 --> 00:12:33,601
Oh, sweetie, you really don't have to.
207
00:12:33,770 --> 00:12:36,933
No, it's the accepted convention.
208
00:12:39,208 --> 00:12:41,108
How was your day?
209
00:12:42,545 --> 00:12:46,641
Well, uh, they shifted my schedule around
at the restaurant, so my hours are different...
210
00:12:46,816 --> 00:12:49,785
I'm sorry, that's not going to
interest me at all. Just eat.
211
00:12:58,961 --> 00:13:00,553
Hello, again.
212
00:13:00,730 --> 00:13:03,824
- Oh, hi.
- Yeah, hi. Listen, um...
213
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:07,629
...if you're not busy,
we were thinking maybe you could....
214
00:13:08,704 --> 00:13:12,231
- We were wondering...
- lf you're really a prostitute.
215
00:13:13,609 --> 00:13:15,133
- You guys cops?
BOTH: No.
216
00:13:15,311 --> 00:13:17,040
I'm a prostitute.
217
00:13:17,914 --> 00:13:20,382
- Okay, great. Um....
- Heh, heh.
218
00:13:28,724 --> 00:13:32,421
The thing is, we've got this friend,
and he's kind of down in the dumps...
219
00:13:32,595 --> 00:13:35,257
...and we thought
maybe you could cheer him up.
220
00:13:35,431 --> 00:13:37,331
With sex.
221
00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:40,725
I think she knows what I meant.
222
00:13:40,903 --> 00:13:42,803
How can she
when you beat around the bush?
223
00:13:42,972 --> 00:13:46,464
She's from the mean streets, where
they shoot from the hip and keep it real.
224
00:13:47,543 --> 00:13:50,444
Don't worry,
I can take good care of your friend.
225
00:13:50,613 --> 00:13:53,411
Okay, terrific. Um....
226
00:13:53,583 --> 00:13:59,215
Listen, is there a way that we can do this
where he doesn't know that you're a....
227
00:13:59,388 --> 00:14:01,856
- You know....
- A prostitute.
228
00:14:02,692 --> 00:14:04,353
You want the girlfriend experience.
229
00:14:04,794 --> 00:14:07,786
Yes, yes. Exactly.
The girlfriend experience.
230
00:14:07,964 --> 00:14:09,829
Actually, if it's not too much to ask...
231
00:14:09,999 --> 00:14:13,400
...could we have
the Jewish girlfriend experience?
232
00:14:15,304 --> 00:14:18,034
Okay, that's question 20.
You have to guess.
233
00:14:20,176 --> 00:14:22,007
I don't know, Sheldon.
234
00:14:22,178 --> 00:14:24,578
Are you Star Wars?
235
00:14:25,848 --> 00:14:29,284
How can one person be a whole movie?
236
00:14:29,752 --> 00:14:32,380
Okay, I give up.
Can we just do something else?
237
00:14:32,555 --> 00:14:33,886
Fine.
238
00:14:34,056 --> 00:14:36,115
I was Spock.
239
00:14:40,663 --> 00:14:43,257
Are you and Leonard
friends with benefits?
240
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,228
What?
241
00:14:45,401 --> 00:14:47,460
Are you and Leonard
friends with benefits?
242
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:49,036
Where did that even come from?
243
00:14:49,205 --> 00:14:51,332
- Did he say we were?
- No, Leonard said nothing.
244
00:14:51,507 --> 00:14:55,637
But who knows what goes on over here when
he pretends your mail was misdelivered?
245
00:14:56,946 --> 00:14:58,811
Just mail, no benefits.
246
00:14:59,482 --> 00:15:00,813
I see.
247
00:15:00,983 --> 00:15:02,610
Why are you asking?
248
00:15:02,785 --> 00:15:05,618
I'm curious about
the whole social construct.
249
00:15:05,788 --> 00:15:09,747
On its face,
the idea of satisfying one's sexual appetite...
250
00:15:09,926 --> 00:15:11,757
Assuming one is afflicted with such.
251
00:15:11,928 --> 00:15:16,297
...without emotional entanglement,
that seems imminently practical.
252
00:15:16,465 --> 00:15:21,926
What I've observed, however,
is Howard Wolowitz crying like a little girl.
253
00:15:23,206 --> 00:15:26,107
Well, some people just can't handle
that kind of relationship.
254
00:15:27,043 --> 00:15:28,772
Can you?
255
00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:32,213
Excuse me?
256
00:15:32,648 --> 00:15:37,017
Are you able to have sex with men without
developing an emotional attachment?
257
00:15:37,186 --> 00:15:41,680
Sheldon, I really don't wanna
talk about this with you.
258
00:15:41,857 --> 00:15:43,882
Is this conversation
making you uncomfortable?
259
00:15:44,060 --> 00:15:46,494
Of course it's making me uncomfortable.
Can't you tell?
260
00:15:46,662 --> 00:15:48,061
I really have no idea.
261
00:15:48,231 --> 00:15:50,995
I don't particularly excel
at reading facial expressions...
262
00:15:51,167 --> 00:15:53,499
I'm uncomfortable, Sheldon!
263
00:15:55,071 --> 00:15:57,335
Thank you, that's very helpful.
264
00:16:00,009 --> 00:16:02,671
All right,
where are these amazing shrimp?
265
00:16:03,412 --> 00:16:04,879
Behold.
266
00:16:06,983 --> 00:16:10,817
Seriously?
You think this is the size of a baby's arm?
267
00:16:11,754 --> 00:16:13,654
A little baby.
268
00:16:14,724 --> 00:16:15,986
I'm going back to the room.
269
00:16:16,525 --> 00:16:20,052
Boy, would it maybe kill them
to put out a nice brisket?
270
00:16:31,007 --> 00:16:34,238
Hi, there. Howard Wolowitz.
271
00:16:34,410 --> 00:16:36,401
Ester Rosenblatt.
272
00:16:42,685 --> 00:16:46,519
I don't think the manager's coming tonight,
so here.
273
00:16:46,689 --> 00:16:49,681
Are you suggesting I sleep on the couch?
274
00:16:49,859 --> 00:16:52,487
Well, it wasn't the first suggestion
that came to mind...
275
00:16:52,662 --> 00:16:54,459
...but it's the one I'm going with.
276
00:16:55,131 --> 00:16:57,964
I can't sleep on your couch.
I sleep in a bed.
277
00:16:58,134 --> 00:17:00,796
Given its dimensions,
I have no intention of living out...
278
00:17:00,970 --> 00:17:04,701
...E.M. Snickering's beloved children's book,
The Tall Man From Cornwall.
279
00:17:06,075 --> 00:17:07,633
What?
280
00:17:08,044 --> 00:17:11,673
There was a tall man from Cornwall
Whose length exceeded his bed
281
00:17:11,847 --> 00:17:16,716
My body fits on it, but barely upon it
There's no room for my big Cornish head
282
00:17:22,325 --> 00:17:23,349
[SIGHS]
283
00:17:23,526 --> 00:17:26,586
All right, I will give you my bed
on one condition.
284
00:17:26,762 --> 00:17:30,323
That you promise to zip your hole
for the next eight hours.
285
00:17:31,400 --> 00:17:34,563
- May I say one last thing?
- Only if it doesn't rhyme.
286
00:17:36,672 --> 00:17:38,401
All right.
287
00:17:42,445 --> 00:17:44,208
Good night.
288
00:17:47,283 --> 00:17:49,751
Turn-ons, let me see.
289
00:17:49,919 --> 00:17:52,251
Reading a good book in front of the fire...
290
00:17:52,421 --> 00:17:54,582
...long walks on the beach...
291
00:17:54,757 --> 00:17:58,921
...and getting freaky on the Sabbath
with a bacon cheeseburger.
292
00:18:02,331 --> 00:18:05,095
Really? Me too.
293
00:18:06,802 --> 00:18:09,362
Oy gevalt, you're hot.
294
00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,402
Yeah.
295
00:18:12,842 --> 00:18:14,833
Excuse me for a moment.
296
00:18:18,714 --> 00:18:22,115
- Hey. How's it going?
- Cut the crap. You set this up, didn't you?
297
00:18:23,486 --> 00:18:25,681
- Yes.
- She's a hooker, isn't she?
298
00:18:26,522 --> 00:18:28,717
A prostitute, yes.
299
00:18:30,059 --> 00:18:32,823
- And you already gave her the money?
- Yes.
300
00:18:33,896 --> 00:18:35,625
Thank you.
301
00:18:42,671 --> 00:18:44,263
Penny?
302
00:18:46,275 --> 00:18:47,867
What?
303
00:18:48,210 --> 00:18:50,269
I can't sleep.
304
00:18:50,980 --> 00:18:54,575
Maybe that's because
your hole is still open.
305
00:18:55,985 --> 00:18:57,850
I'm homesick.
306
00:18:59,321 --> 00:19:02,085
Your home is 20 feet from here.
307
00:19:02,258 --> 00:19:05,284
Twenty feet, 20 light years.
It doesn't matter.
308
00:19:05,795 --> 00:19:08,662
It's in a galaxy far, far away.
309
00:19:09,965 --> 00:19:11,626
Damn it.
310
00:19:14,870 --> 00:19:17,100
What do you want me to do?
311
00:19:17,807 --> 00:19:20,298
Sing "Soft Kitty."
312
00:19:22,111 --> 00:19:24,375
That's only for when you're sick.
313
00:19:25,915 --> 00:19:29,078
Homesick is a type of being sick.
314
00:19:31,854 --> 00:19:34,846
Come on, do I really have to?
315
00:19:35,024 --> 00:19:37,185
I suppose we can stay up and talk.
316
00:19:39,495 --> 00:19:41,929
[SINGING]
Soft kitty
317
00:19:42,097 --> 00:19:43,530
Warm kitty
318
00:19:43,699 --> 00:19:46,532
Little ball of fur
319
00:19:46,702 --> 00:19:48,693
Happy kitty
320
00:19:49,939 --> 00:19:51,270
Um....
321
00:19:51,607 --> 00:19:52,631
Sleepy kitty.
322
00:19:52,808 --> 00:19:53,832
Sleepy kitty...
323
00:19:54,009 --> 00:19:55,442
No.
324
00:19:56,712 --> 00:19:58,577
Start over.
325
00:20:02,985 --> 00:20:04,850
Soft kitty
326
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:06,419
Warm kitty
327
00:20:06,589 --> 00:20:09,057
Little ball of fur
328
00:20:09,792 --> 00:20:11,089
Happy kitty
329
00:20:11,260 --> 00:20:12,852
Sleepy kitty
330
00:20:13,028 --> 00:20:15,519
Purr, purr, purr
331
00:20:17,399 --> 00:20:19,663
- Penny?
- Yeah?
332
00:20:21,136 --> 00:20:23,127
Thank you for letting me stay here.
333
00:20:23,806 --> 00:20:26,798
Oh. You're welcome, sweetie.
334
00:20:30,713 --> 00:20:33,147
Okay, I'm sleepy now. Get out.
335
00:20:43,425 --> 00:20:46,292
Oh, good, you're finally home.
336
00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:48,157
What were you doing at Penny's?
337
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:52,266
Well, we had dinner, played some games,
and then I spent the night.
338
00:20:52,434 --> 00:20:53,662
Oh.
339
00:20:53,836 --> 00:20:57,067
You'll be happy to know that I now
have a much better understanding...
340
00:20:57,239 --> 00:20:58,672
...of "friends with benefits."
341
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:32,030
[ENGLISH SDH]