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ALLY:
Previously on Ally McBeal:
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Have you ever met anybody
you think would be...
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00:00:07,293 --> 00:00:08,442
...right for me?
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- No.
- Nobody?
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- Have we met before?
- I don't think so.
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You were looking at me like...
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It's him. I just have this feeling.
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I swear...
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... there was something.
And how he looked at me...
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Has anyone told you how beautiful
you are when you get cross?
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- You're handling me.
- Is it working?
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What are you thinking?
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[SNORTS AND LAUGHS]
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I have a boyfriend.
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You give your love...
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... so sweetly
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- Tonight
- Tonight
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The light of love...
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... is in your eyes
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This is one of my favorite songs ever.
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Why didn't Renee tell me
she was gonna sing it?
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Maybe it's for a special occasion.
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What special occasion?
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I have a friend
who's in love with a woman.
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Been together six months
but he wants to be with her always.
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Does she love him?
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Why doesn't he ask her?
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He's planning to.
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He's taking her out, arranged for a
friend to sing her favorite song...
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...planned to order an expensive wine,
be holding her hand...
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...and while she was preoccupied...
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...slip a sapphire ring on her finger.
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Will it work?
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It certainly sounds romantic but...
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Ally McBeal?
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Yes?
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Will you...
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...move in with me?
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VONDA SINGS:
I've been down this road
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Sex Lies and Second Thoughts
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Walking the line
That's painted by pride
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And I have made mistakes in my life
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That I just can 't hide
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Oh, I believe I am ready
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For what love has to bring
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I got myself together
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Yeah, now I'm ready to sing
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I've been searching my soul tonight
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I know there's so much more to life
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Now I know I can shine a light
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To find my way back home
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Oh, baby, yeah
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Oh, yeah
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What kind of fool
Do you think I am?
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You seem stunned.
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Well, that's because...
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...I am.
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This is unbelievable. Wow.
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- What's your answer?
- Sorry?
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You haven't answered my question.
Will you move in with me?
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- What kind of fool
- Think I am
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Do you think I am, baby?
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Bryan? Honey?
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Sweetie?
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I have to think about it.
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It's not that I don't want to move in.
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I'm ready to. I want to, but...
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It means you'd have to stop
sleeping with me.
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Maybe.
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I can't tell you what to do.
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For these kinds of decisions
only one person knows the answer.
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We both know who that is.
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A therapist.
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First up.
Ringer, et al. Versus Keebler.
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John, all set?
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I am.
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How did you get an annulment
proceeding before a jury?
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I convinced the judge
it's a question of fact...
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...and the litigants deserved a trial
in front of their peers.
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[JOHN'S NOSE WHISTLES]
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Are you nervous?
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I am not nervous.
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That whistle was deliberate.
I'm throwing it during trial.
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You plan to do that?
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I'm against Dick Raddits and I have
a tenuous cause of action.
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You'll make it seem it's
coming out of someone else's nose?
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Never mind.
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I gotta see this.
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Move on, Richard.
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I have an announcement to make.
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And it might come
as a bit of a shock.
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Bryan has asked me
to move in with him.
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- Really.
- Wow.
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- Great.
- He's so boring.
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He is not boring.
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Are you going to?
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I haven't decided.
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But if I seem distracted
over the next day or so, just...
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I know I will be.
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[NOSE WHISTLES]
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[WHISTLES]
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Seven hundred thousand dollars?
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Yes. I think we should consider it.
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- By law, he's entitled...
- Only if we were married.
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- You were married for six years.
- It was a sham!
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Which we'll argue.
But if we don't win...
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- You have to win.
- What I'm saying...
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- Let me finish.
- I started first.
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- No, you didn't.
- I certainly did!
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- You didn't!
- I did!
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I said "By law." You cut me off
with "Only if we were married."
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I said, "You were married."
You cut me off with "It was a sham."
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I tried to wedge in a word about
winning, you shot out "I have to!"
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I tried to respond,
you bellowed "Let me finish!"
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And that brings us current.
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You don't have to get snippy.
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Seven hundred thousand dollars is...
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- I won't...
- Can l...?
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Maybe the man walked out on you
to complete one sentence.
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I apologize.
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I walked out on him, if you remember.
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You and I are old friends. Getting
an annulment will be difficult.
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- You made it to a...
- And!
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You made it to a jury.
I'm sorry. Please finish.
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In order to win, you'll have to endure
some unpleasant things said about you.
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I'll argue unpleasant things.
The opposing attorney is a mean man.
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He and l...
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As somebody who cares about you,
and I do...
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...I am suggesting
you think about settling.
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That man stole my dignity.
I need to walk out of that courtroom...
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I've resigned myself...
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...to being called "fat"...
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..."ugly"...
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...even "lonely."
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I won't resign myself to being a fool.
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- Help you?
- I'm looking for Tracy.
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She's not here anymore.
Moved to Foxborough.
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Foxborough?
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She didn't say she was moving.
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You wouldn't be Ally McBeal?
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Yes, I would, actually.
How did you know that?
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She took all her files except one.
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Ally McBeal. Catchy theme song,
by the way. I'm Larry Paul.
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- She took every file but left mine?
- Yeah, with a note.
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"If it's an emergency, tough."
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This is an emergency.
Give me her number.
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She didn't leave it. Promise.
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What's the problem?
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Well, there's...
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Well, there's a guy...
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...that I've been seeing.
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And he asked me...
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...to move in with him.
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Bastard. My advice is, don't do it.
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- Why?
- He doesn't want to marry you.
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- How do you know?
- Did he ask?
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Why do you think I'd want to?
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You're not the mistress type.
If you have no intention to marry...
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- I never said that.
- Are you a mistress?
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- No, I am not.
- Why live with a guy who's afraid...?
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- Afraid?
- He didn't ask!
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I'm here for my indecision, not his.
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- How's the sex?
- Excuse me?
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With your friend? The sex?
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I don't care to talk about it.
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That good, eh?
167
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- Look...
- Ally?
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None of my business, but...
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All relationships eventually
come down to sex.
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Why? Men and women are different.
Don't believe that communication crap.
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No matter how in love, men and women
eventually run out of things to say.
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When that happens
all you're left with is sex.
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If it stinks, you're done.
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That's why you're here.
The sex is lousy.
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Well, it could be better.
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- A lot better.
- Okay...
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00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:16,642
...a lot better.
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00:10:16,893 --> 00:10:19,691
- You need to tell him.
- How do you tell him he's terrible?
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- Oh, he's terrible now.
- No, no, no!
180
00:10:23,413 --> 00:10:24,562
No.
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It's just, he's...
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He's not great.
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00:10:29,173 --> 00:10:32,131
All right.
Listen to me, this is important.
184
00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:33,652
He'll be devastated.
185
00:10:33,853 --> 00:10:38,085
Leave him with something positive
by the end of the discussion.
186
00:10:38,293 --> 00:10:39,362
How?
187
00:10:39,613 --> 00:10:43,367
I'd start by saying he's terrible,
then upgrade him to not great.
188
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I don't think that'll work.
189
00:10:46,253 --> 00:10:47,447
Do you love this man?
190
00:10:48,693 --> 00:10:49,682
Yes.
191
00:10:50,253 --> 00:10:53,609
Then you owe it to him
to let him know how inadequate he is.
192
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:58,131
If you do get married, you'll
always be telling him anyway.
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00:10:58,333 --> 00:10:59,766
Am I wrong?
194
00:11:09,253 --> 00:11:10,208
[WHISTLES "CUCKOO"]
195
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Try to help...
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00:11:26,853 --> 00:11:28,764
ALLY:
However much I know otherwise...
197
00:11:28,973 --> 00:11:31,441
... part of me has always felt
life has no meaning...
198
00:11:31,693 --> 00:11:33,843
... until you share it with somebody.
199
00:11:34,093 --> 00:11:37,768
Maybe that's what I'm afraid of.
My life suddenly taking on meaning.
200
00:11:37,973 --> 00:11:41,568
Or suddenly becoming void of it.
201
00:11:42,253 --> 00:11:43,368
ELAINE:
Ally?
202
00:11:47,173 --> 00:11:48,652
Hi.
203
00:11:48,853 --> 00:11:50,206
What are you doing?
204
00:11:50,933 --> 00:11:54,209
Just daydreaming.
Picturing my life with Bryan.
205
00:11:55,853 --> 00:11:57,605
Looked really exciting.
206
00:11:57,853 --> 00:12:01,607
We're not supposed to chase excitement.
The goal is contentment.
207
00:12:01,853 --> 00:12:04,162
Oh, yeah. Forgot about that.
208
00:12:04,373 --> 00:12:07,251
It's not like me to give you advice...
209
00:12:07,493 --> 00:12:10,565
Which works, because it's not
like me to ask you for it.
210
00:12:10,813 --> 00:12:14,601
Here's the thing. There's very few
decent guys out there.
211
00:12:14,813 --> 00:12:17,407
And with sexually transmitted
diseases...
212
00:12:17,613 --> 00:12:20,571
...the odds of landing one
becomes even tougher.
213
00:12:20,773 --> 00:12:22,047
I don't follow.
214
00:12:22,293 --> 00:12:26,889
They're wearing condoms. It's harder
to trap them by getting pregnant.
215
00:12:31,693 --> 00:12:32,921
Thank you, Elaine.
216
00:12:33,333 --> 00:12:36,689
I don't know how I'd ever
navigate my life without you.
217
00:12:41,013 --> 00:12:43,766
At first it seemed perfect.
218
00:12:44,013 --> 00:12:45,765
Not perfect, I guess.
219
00:12:46,013 --> 00:12:49,085
The physical part of our
relationship was never good.
220
00:12:49,333 --> 00:12:51,449
We didn't make love
on our wedding night.
221
00:12:52,653 --> 00:12:54,166
Did you ever make love?
222
00:12:54,413 --> 00:12:57,166
Sure, but it was extremely infrequent.
223
00:12:57,413 --> 00:13:00,166
He said he just didn't have
much of a libido.
224
00:13:00,413 --> 00:13:01,766
And you accepted that?
225
00:13:02,013 --> 00:13:03,207
Yes.
226
00:13:03,453 --> 00:13:05,762
The rest of our relationship
was great.
227
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:08,362
We could laugh and talk all night.
228
00:13:08,573 --> 00:13:10,052
We had the same interests.
229
00:13:10,293 --> 00:13:12,170
We were perfect companions.
230
00:13:12,413 --> 00:13:16,167
I guess I convinced myself
that's what marriage is most about.
231
00:13:16,413 --> 00:13:17,562
Companionship.
232
00:13:17,813 --> 00:13:20,373
But at some point things changed?
233
00:13:20,573 --> 00:13:23,883
In June, I was going to
a health spa in Vermont...
234
00:13:24,133 --> 00:13:26,772
...for the weekend
with some girlfriends.
235
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:30,090
There was a problem.
The plane couldn't take off.
236
00:13:30,333 --> 00:13:33,962
It ended up being canceled
and I drove home.
237
00:13:34,573 --> 00:13:37,451
I came into the house
and called out to Wayne.
238
00:13:37,693 --> 00:13:39,763
There was no response.
239
00:13:40,413 --> 00:13:43,371
I heard laughter from the back.
I went out.
240
00:13:44,093 --> 00:13:45,412
They were in the pool...
241
00:13:45,653 --> 00:13:47,006
...with their clothes on.
242
00:13:47,773 --> 00:13:48,967
Who?
243
00:13:49,453 --> 00:13:52,013
Wayne and her.
244
00:13:57,653 --> 00:13:59,211
They were in the pool?
245
00:13:59,453 --> 00:14:02,490
Kissing.
And she had this T-shirt on...
246
00:14:02,733 --> 00:14:06,567
... and he had these scissors
and was cutting the T-shirt off her.
247
00:14:06,773 --> 00:14:10,243
They were laughing, having a
grand time until they saw me.
248
00:14:10,493 --> 00:14:11,562
What happened then?
249
00:14:11,813 --> 00:14:13,769
I found out the truth.
250
00:14:14,253 --> 00:14:17,882
That he had been sleeping with her
for more than two years.
251
00:14:18,213 --> 00:14:21,967
That he planned to marry her after
he got out of this "bad marriage."
252
00:14:22,213 --> 00:14:24,602
That his libido was healthy after all.
253
00:14:24,853 --> 00:14:28,892
That he had stayed with me to qualify
for a big divorce settlement.
254
00:14:29,133 --> 00:14:30,532
That I was an idiot.
255
00:14:30,853 --> 00:14:33,572
That's why you're here?
To annul the marriage.
256
00:14:33,813 --> 00:14:38,091
I'm here asking the court to recognize
the truth. There was no marriage.
257
00:14:38,333 --> 00:14:42,372
There was a union under extremely
false pretense. There was a fraud.
258
00:14:42,733 --> 00:14:45,042
But there was certainly no marriage.
259
00:14:46,533 --> 00:14:49,650
How long does it take to decide?
Either you want to or not.
260
00:14:49,853 --> 00:14:51,332
- Well...
- Is it a case of cold feet?
261
00:14:51,533 --> 00:14:54,206
Moving in is a step towards marriage.
262
00:14:54,453 --> 00:14:56,648
- It's a big deal.
- I didn't say it wasn't.
263
00:14:56,893 --> 00:14:58,167
Your tone is dismissive.
264
00:14:58,373 --> 00:15:02,491
Tone is used to discern meaning when
words aren't expressed. Mine are.
265
00:15:02,693 --> 00:15:04,570
It's you who's being ambiguous.
266
00:15:06,693 --> 00:15:07,887
Sit.
267
00:15:14,533 --> 00:15:18,082
I think everything about us is great.
I really do. We laugh...
268
00:15:18,333 --> 00:15:19,129
Ally...
269
00:15:19,333 --> 00:15:23,690
But what I find
to be a little lacking...
270
00:15:25,453 --> 00:15:26,886
...it may not be a big deal...
271
00:15:27,133 --> 00:15:29,772
Big enough to give pause
to us living together.
272
00:15:32,173 --> 00:15:36,246
What leaves a little to be desired
between you and me...
273
00:15:36,813 --> 00:15:38,166
...is the...
274
00:15:39,613 --> 00:15:40,682
...sushi.
275
00:15:40,933 --> 00:15:42,286
- Sushi?
- I ate...
276
00:15:42,533 --> 00:15:44,171
Sex!
277
00:15:48,053 --> 00:15:49,850
The sex isn't that...
278
00:15:50,853 --> 00:15:52,286
...good.
279
00:15:53,973 --> 00:15:55,372
Did you hear me?
280
00:15:57,373 --> 00:15:59,250
You're not satisfied sexually?
281
00:16:00,333 --> 00:16:02,005
No, I'm... satisfied.
282
00:16:02,253 --> 00:16:04,403
I am so... It's...
It's okay.
283
00:16:04,653 --> 00:16:05,847
May I ask...
284
00:16:06,573 --> 00:16:09,087
...are you capable of having good sex?
285
00:16:09,533 --> 00:16:11,444
What is that supposed to mean?
286
00:16:11,693 --> 00:16:13,763
I mean, is it me or...
287
00:16:14,453 --> 00:16:15,852
...is it you?
288
00:16:16,213 --> 00:16:18,044
It's us, Bryan.
289
00:16:18,413 --> 00:16:19,926
It's a rhythm thing.
290
00:16:20,173 --> 00:16:21,765
It's a compatibility thing.
291
00:16:21,973 --> 00:16:24,168
It's a heat thing.
292
00:16:24,373 --> 00:16:27,171
We don't seem to generate
a lot of heat.
293
00:16:28,453 --> 00:16:31,763
So you're indicting the relationship
because of sex?
294
00:16:32,133 --> 00:16:33,122
I never said that.
295
00:16:33,333 --> 00:16:36,166
You said you and Wayne
were perfect companions.
296
00:16:36,373 --> 00:16:38,091
- But without sex...
- I didn't say...
297
00:16:38,333 --> 00:16:40,164
Let me finish my question.
298
00:16:40,373 --> 00:16:43,012
You made a statement
and I'm disagreeing.
299
00:16:43,253 --> 00:16:44,766
Your Honor...
300
00:16:44,973 --> 00:16:46,292
[JOHN THROWS WHISTLE]
301
00:16:49,653 --> 00:16:51,609
[WHISTLES]
302
00:16:58,453 --> 00:17:03,208
Wayne wasn't involved with this woman
at the time you two married, was he?
303
00:17:03,453 --> 00:17:07,162
Not to my knowledge, which
could hardly be considered exhaustive.
304
00:17:07,413 --> 00:17:09,643
- He met her two years later.
- So I'm told.
305
00:17:09,853 --> 00:17:13,163
We have a marriage, then another
woman and the marriage ends.
306
00:17:13,373 --> 00:17:16,365
- I wonder if that's a first.
- Objection!
307
00:17:16,613 --> 00:17:19,969
DICK: You said the companionship
was great until you left.
308
00:17:20,213 --> 00:17:22,283
I think you said "perfect"?
309
00:17:22,533 --> 00:17:23,602
I was in the dark.
310
00:17:23,853 --> 00:17:26,845
- You got what you wanted.
- Not physical affection.
311
00:17:27,093 --> 00:17:28,572
You said you didn't need it.
312
00:17:28,813 --> 00:17:29,962
I needed honesty.
313
00:17:30,213 --> 00:17:32,044
- He wasn't being honest.
- No.
314
00:17:32,293 --> 00:17:34,170
- That's why we're here.
- Yes.
315
00:17:34,373 --> 00:17:38,844
So when spouses aren't honest
that should be grounds for annulment?
316
00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:50,367
- You okay?
- Yeah.
317
00:17:50,613 --> 00:17:52,569
Maureen, it's litigation.
318
00:17:52,773 --> 00:17:54,604
It's adversarial by design.
319
00:17:54,853 --> 00:17:56,571
I know.
320
00:18:00,253 --> 00:18:01,766
John...
321
00:18:02,893 --> 00:18:04,246
Nothing.
322
00:18:04,853 --> 00:18:06,571
No, tell me.
323
00:18:07,253 --> 00:18:09,244
Well, growing up...
324
00:18:09,493 --> 00:18:11,370
...I never had a boyfriend.
325
00:18:11,893 --> 00:18:15,568
- How could I think a good-looking man...?
- Maureen.
326
00:18:15,773 --> 00:18:18,685
Am I deluding myself to think
anyone would be attracted to me?
327
00:18:18,933 --> 00:18:20,002
Of course not.
328
00:18:20,813 --> 00:18:22,963
Excuse me a second.
329
00:18:24,213 --> 00:18:26,568
What a beast. How's the trial going?
330
00:18:27,493 --> 00:18:28,767
What was that for?
331
00:18:29,013 --> 00:18:33,086
- I need a big favor.
- Anything. As long as it isn't money.
332
00:18:33,293 --> 00:18:36,251
Maureen doesn't feel a man
could be attracted to her.
333
00:18:36,493 --> 00:18:37,562
Oh, gee.
334
00:18:37,813 --> 00:18:41,362
I know it's a lot, but could you
feign being drawn to her?
335
00:18:41,573 --> 00:18:44,167
Just enough to bolster
some confidence?
336
00:18:44,413 --> 00:18:46,244
You want me to...
With her?
337
00:18:46,453 --> 00:18:49,684
She's a hamster. I'd sooner
pop a chubby for a tree frog.
338
00:18:49,933 --> 00:18:51,161
I don't ask for much!
339
00:18:51,413 --> 00:18:53,165
Tree frog?
340
00:18:53,653 --> 00:18:56,008
I have one.
John and I collected them.
341
00:18:56,253 --> 00:18:59,165
- Remember, John?
- Yeah, I sure do.
342
00:19:04,733 --> 00:19:06,086
What are you doing?
343
00:19:08,173 --> 00:19:10,562
I may be out of line here, but...
344
00:19:10,773 --> 00:19:13,333
...has anyone ever told you
you're beautiful?
345
00:19:14,613 --> 00:19:15,807
No.
346
00:19:16,053 --> 00:19:17,168
Shocker.
347
00:19:20,413 --> 00:19:21,687
Yeah.
348
00:19:22,213 --> 00:19:23,487
Oh, yeah.
349
00:19:24,453 --> 00:19:25,806
Gotta go.
350
00:19:27,973 --> 00:19:29,565
Was he making fun of me?
351
00:19:29,773 --> 00:19:32,367
No! I think he was flirting.
352
00:19:32,613 --> 00:19:33,648
Right.
353
00:19:34,253 --> 00:19:35,971
Maureen...
354
00:19:37,013 --> 00:19:38,810
You see that woman?
355
00:19:39,653 --> 00:19:41,723
MAUREEN: Yeah.
JOHN: I dated her.
356
00:19:42,373 --> 00:19:43,567
You did?
357
00:19:43,813 --> 00:19:47,886
MAUREEN: She's beautiful.
JOHN: She found me beautiful and sexy.
358
00:19:48,133 --> 00:19:49,361
You know why?
359
00:19:49,653 --> 00:19:51,689
I can't even bluff.
360
00:19:53,053 --> 00:19:55,283
Sexiness is mental.
361
00:19:55,533 --> 00:19:58,206
I would become Barry White
when I went to her.
362
00:19:58,453 --> 00:20:03,163
In my head I believed
I had sex appeal. Therefore, I did.
363
00:20:03,573 --> 00:20:07,771
Now, whatever happens in this case,
you've got to believe in yourself.
364
00:20:08,013 --> 00:20:11,972
Because if you don't,
nobody else will.
365
00:20:17,773 --> 00:20:20,970
He had a good point.
Why indict everything because of sex?
366
00:20:21,213 --> 00:20:23,807
Isn't it ridiculous
to measure a relationship...
367
00:20:24,053 --> 00:20:26,726
...by the last five minutes
before you fall asleep?
368
00:20:27,293 --> 00:20:29,170
Men go into relationships for sex.
369
00:20:29,413 --> 00:20:31,608
They get married to keep having it...
370
00:20:31,853 --> 00:20:34,321
...without wasting time
on dinner and flowers.
371
00:20:34,533 --> 00:20:37,969
And if it only lasts five minutes,
why are you falling asleep?
372
00:20:38,213 --> 00:20:40,727
You should be awake
wondering what's wrong.
373
00:20:40,933 --> 00:20:42,412
You're such a man.
374
00:20:42,653 --> 00:20:45,850
You typify everything
twisted about this society.
375
00:20:46,093 --> 00:20:48,561
It's like we're married,
you blaming me.
376
00:20:48,813 --> 00:20:51,247
No wonder you want a husband.
You're a wife.
377
00:20:51,533 --> 00:20:54,047
You're not clever.
And you're not funny.
378
00:20:54,293 --> 00:20:57,171
This society over-prioritizes sex.
379
00:20:57,413 --> 00:21:00,132
It's in the movies,
in the magazines, it's on TV.
380
00:21:00,373 --> 00:21:03,570
It has people locating their
self-worth in their appearance.
381
00:21:03,813 --> 00:21:05,246
We have a case...
382
00:21:05,453 --> 00:21:09,048
...where a woman wants her marriage
annulled due to lack of passion.
383
00:21:09,293 --> 00:21:12,251
Meaning it doesn't exist.
All because of a void in sex.
384
00:21:12,493 --> 00:21:16,008
And when you perpetuate it,
it's neither amusing or responsible.
385
00:21:16,253 --> 00:21:18,562
And I didn't blame you for society.
386
00:21:18,813 --> 00:21:21,725
I just cited you
as a sad example of it.
387
00:21:28,733 --> 00:21:31,088
Well, that was a lot.
388
00:21:32,533 --> 00:21:34,205
I didn't intend to be clever.
389
00:21:34,453 --> 00:21:37,331
I have a problem with your lament
on prioritizing sex...
390
00:21:37,533 --> 00:21:41,208
...as you're wearing a $2000 outfit
designed to punctuate your contour...
391
00:21:41,453 --> 00:21:44,923
...Iooking like women in magazines
except I can't turn the page.
392
00:21:45,173 --> 00:21:49,212
As for worth in appearance, I'm sure
there's a mirror in your Prada purse.
393
00:21:49,453 --> 00:21:52,172
And as much as you hate
being the object of desire...
394
00:21:52,413 --> 00:21:55,325
...what you truly loathe
is the idea you might not be.
395
00:21:55,533 --> 00:22:00,323
And the question burning deep down
under the lip gloss is:
396
00:22:01,293 --> 00:22:03,170
"Has that day already arrived?"
397
00:22:07,893 --> 00:22:10,930
You are the biggest ass
I have ever met.
398
00:22:11,133 --> 00:22:13,886
Perhaps this is where
you kiss it goodbye.
399
00:22:20,813 --> 00:22:22,724
What did I say?
400
00:22:35,533 --> 00:22:38,127
- Will you go back to see him?
ALLY: Why should I?
401
00:22:38,373 --> 00:22:40,603
I won't even pay his bill
if he sends one.
402
00:22:41,293 --> 00:22:42,931
I was talking about Bryan.
403
00:22:44,573 --> 00:22:45,767
Oh.
404
00:22:46,373 --> 00:22:47,601
Oh, yeah.
405
00:22:49,853 --> 00:22:51,047
What?
406
00:22:51,253 --> 00:22:54,802
You've been seeing Bryan for six
months. He asked you to move in...
407
00:22:55,053 --> 00:22:58,728
...and all you can talk about
is this new therapist.
408
00:22:59,653 --> 00:23:02,531
Do you think Bryan is a little dull?
409
00:23:02,733 --> 00:23:04,769
- Honestly?
- Of course.
410
00:23:04,973 --> 00:23:07,362
So dull, I've lost interest
in the question.
411
00:23:08,133 --> 00:23:09,327
Really?
412
00:23:09,573 --> 00:23:11,211
But he could be right for you.
413
00:23:11,453 --> 00:23:13,330
I belong with somebody dull?
414
00:23:13,573 --> 00:23:16,212
Opposites attract,
and you're so alive...
415
00:23:16,453 --> 00:23:18,045
...and Bryan, he's so...
416
00:23:18,293 --> 00:23:19,567
Dead.
417
00:23:19,813 --> 00:23:21,326
Why do you ask me this?
418
00:23:21,533 --> 00:23:23,046
What do you think?
419
00:23:23,413 --> 00:23:25,608
I think that he is lovely.
420
00:23:25,853 --> 00:23:29,084
He's smart. He's kind. He's sweet.
421
00:23:31,093 --> 00:23:32,970
He's not the most boring person...
422
00:23:33,213 --> 00:23:35,522
...but of those I've met...
- Keep going.
423
00:23:35,733 --> 00:23:39,043
I want to live a long life,
and with him it'll feel like that.
424
00:23:39,253 --> 00:23:40,083
Keep going.
425
00:23:40,293 --> 00:23:42,853
Maybe sex lasts more
than 60 seconds, but who would know?
426
00:23:43,093 --> 00:23:45,653
- Keep going.
- That therapist was really cute.
427
00:23:45,893 --> 00:23:48,453
Stop there. And I'll say this:
428
00:23:48,653 --> 00:23:52,726
All your life you've been attracted
to people who make you crazy...
429
00:23:53,293 --> 00:23:55,523
...or burn you. Moth to a flame.
430
00:23:55,773 --> 00:23:56,888
What's your point?
431
00:23:57,093 --> 00:23:59,129
Maybe Bryan is not the guy...
432
00:23:59,333 --> 00:24:02,086
...but stay away from the therapist.
433
00:24:02,813 --> 00:24:04,405
WAYNE:
A marriage is about love.
434
00:24:04,613 --> 00:24:08,367
Sex is one manifestation of it,
and not the most important one.
435
00:24:08,613 --> 00:24:12,083
I'm no marriage counselor, but if
a couple doesn't want relations...
436
00:24:12,293 --> 00:24:15,126
- It's the bean in the jar theory.
DICK: I'm sorry?
437
00:24:15,333 --> 00:24:17,722
If a couple puts one bean in a jar
after sex...
438
00:24:17,933 --> 00:24:19,730
...during the first
year of marriage...
439
00:24:19,933 --> 00:24:23,528
...then afterwards take a bean out
every time they have sex...
440
00:24:23,773 --> 00:24:26,207
...the jar will never become empty.
441
00:24:26,453 --> 00:24:29,809
Weren't you in financial difficulty
when you met my client?
442
00:24:30,053 --> 00:24:33,011
- Objection.
- Strike it. So, what happened?
443
00:24:33,253 --> 00:24:36,723
You met this woman and you fell
in "companionship" again?
444
00:24:36,973 --> 00:24:37,962
Objection.
445
00:24:38,173 --> 00:24:40,528
- What is your new love's name?
- Diane.
446
00:24:40,773 --> 00:24:42,570
- Does she have a job?
- She models.
447
00:24:42,813 --> 00:24:45,452
Is she the first girlfriend
you had that was a model?
448
00:24:45,693 --> 00:24:49,322
- I'm not sure what you mean.
- The two girlfriends before my client.
449
00:24:49,533 --> 00:24:51,012
They were also models.
450
00:24:51,253 --> 00:24:52,402
What is the relevance?
451
00:24:52,653 --> 00:24:55,531
The relevance is,
he dates beautiful women.
452
00:24:55,733 --> 00:24:57,928
- He took my client for money.
- Not true!
453
00:24:58,173 --> 00:25:01,324
Sex isn't a priority?
Men declare that all the time!
454
00:25:01,573 --> 00:25:03,643
Then maybe the divorce rate
wouldn't be so high.
455
00:25:03,853 --> 00:25:05,844
Spoken by the man
caught with the model.
456
00:25:06,093 --> 00:25:08,209
You know something?
I did love Maureen.
457
00:25:08,413 --> 00:25:10,131
I did prioritize friendship.
458
00:25:10,333 --> 00:25:12,767
I was planning a marriage.
A lifetime.
459
00:25:13,013 --> 00:25:14,082
Not a trip to Tahoe.
460
00:25:14,293 --> 00:25:16,727
Been to Tahoe with her?
Take your bean jar?
461
00:25:16,933 --> 00:25:18,207
- Mr. Cage.
- Objection!
462
00:25:18,413 --> 00:25:21,564
It makes sense to build a union
on reason, not passion.
463
00:25:21,813 --> 00:25:24,043
She pushed me away.
You know it, Maureen.
464
00:25:24,293 --> 00:25:26,170
Address your lies to me.
465
00:25:26,413 --> 00:25:29,246
She didn't want my affection.
You pushed me away!
466
00:25:29,493 --> 00:25:32,724
Into the arms of Diane.
Talk about every knock being a boost.
467
00:25:32,973 --> 00:25:35,282
Mr. Cage? That's enough.
468
00:25:49,053 --> 00:25:50,691
Oh, please!
469
00:25:52,013 --> 00:25:55,050
I'm sorry I called you
the biggest ass I've ever met.
470
00:25:55,293 --> 00:25:58,251
I'm sure there's at least one bigger.
471
00:25:58,493 --> 00:26:00,085
I just can't remember.
472
00:26:02,333 --> 00:26:05,609
Thank you. If you were
interested in me physically...
473
00:26:05,853 --> 00:26:07,923
...I could locate some esteem again.
474
00:26:09,133 --> 00:26:11,806
Do you know I have come here
to apologize...
475
00:26:12,053 --> 00:26:14,009
...and you're antagonizing me?
476
00:26:14,253 --> 00:26:15,447
Is this your method?
477
00:26:15,693 --> 00:26:17,331
I have no method.
478
00:26:17,533 --> 00:26:18,727
Only madness.
479
00:26:18,973 --> 00:26:20,645
Why did you come back?
480
00:26:20,893 --> 00:26:22,008
Really.
481
00:26:22,533 --> 00:26:25,172
In speaking with my roommate...
482
00:26:25,893 --> 00:26:27,212
...things came out.
483
00:26:27,453 --> 00:26:28,647
Things?
484
00:26:28,893 --> 00:26:29,882
Such as?
485
00:26:30,173 --> 00:26:32,448
The problem with men.
The good ones are married.
486
00:26:32,693 --> 00:26:34,729
If you have affairs, they're cheaters.
487
00:26:34,933 --> 00:26:36,810
If you meet a decent one...
488
00:26:37,053 --> 00:26:39,169
...you're so intoxicated
that he's not pig...
489
00:26:39,413 --> 00:26:41,131
...you confuse euphoria for love.
490
00:26:41,333 --> 00:26:46,168
You say yes to dinner, then a weekend
with his tiny penis that pops out...
491
00:26:46,413 --> 00:26:50,326
...like a chicken thermometer. Then
he asks you to move in with him...
492
00:26:50,573 --> 00:26:54,486
...and you consider it, because
against everything else he's decent.
493
00:26:54,813 --> 00:26:56,804
Do you always talk
in run-on sentences?
494
00:26:59,413 --> 00:27:03,008
I'm afraid if I stop for air,
somebody else will get a word in.
495
00:27:06,413 --> 00:27:08,722
And where are things with...?
496
00:27:09,053 --> 00:27:09,849
Um...
497
00:27:10,053 --> 00:27:11,247
Bryan.
498
00:27:11,453 --> 00:27:12,203
Bryan.
499
00:27:12,413 --> 00:27:16,326
I told him the sex was really bad.
500
00:27:16,533 --> 00:27:18,649
And I think
he's waiting for an answer...
501
00:27:18,893 --> 00:27:21,202
...which I thought I already gave him.
502
00:27:21,413 --> 00:27:25,008
Men don't take hints. We're used
to getting our noses bloodied.
503
00:27:25,253 --> 00:27:29,132
We watch movies where, for the
first two acts, the girl says no.
504
00:27:29,373 --> 00:27:33,651
In the third, they marry. If he's
not the guy, you have to be brutal.
505
00:27:33,893 --> 00:27:35,531
- And blunt.
- Cruel.
506
00:27:35,733 --> 00:27:39,726
When you walk out the door
he has to know you're walking out.
507
00:27:39,933 --> 00:27:44,768
If you're chicken, you can expect him
to pursue with his thermometer.
508
00:27:50,493 --> 00:27:52,529
So it's just
the closing arguments left?
509
00:27:52,773 --> 00:27:55,241
- Tomorrow morning.
- Do we have a chance?
510
00:27:55,493 --> 00:27:57,131
John. Maureen.
511
00:27:58,493 --> 00:27:59,562
[GRUNTS]
512
00:28:01,213 --> 00:28:04,922
Could you excuse me one second?
513
00:28:06,893 --> 00:28:09,930
I don't like this.
514
00:28:17,253 --> 00:28:19,847
[BARRY WHITE PLAYS]
515
00:28:21,213 --> 00:28:23,443
Maureen, what's up?
516
00:28:26,853 --> 00:28:28,047
Maureen...
517
00:28:28,293 --> 00:28:32,411
...I'm involved, actually,
with this vicious woman.
518
00:28:32,733 --> 00:28:34,132
Help. Somebody.
519
00:28:34,373 --> 00:28:36,125
Is anybody out there?
520
00:28:37,453 --> 00:28:38,727
Maureen?
521
00:28:39,213 --> 00:28:40,532
Nobody but you.
522
00:28:40,733 --> 00:28:42,166
[MUSIC SLOWS]
523
00:28:42,413 --> 00:28:43,448
And me.
524
00:28:45,613 --> 00:28:47,126
What were you thinking?
525
00:28:47,373 --> 00:28:49,967
Just that maybe if I started...
526
00:28:50,213 --> 00:28:53,523
...I don't know,
allowing myself to be more sexual...
527
00:28:53,733 --> 00:28:56,531
You have to be true to yourself.
528
00:28:56,733 --> 00:28:59,167
It was hard, listening
in that courtroom.
529
00:28:59,413 --> 00:29:01,051
I warned you about that.
530
00:29:01,293 --> 00:29:05,571
I'll have to say harsh things in my
closing, as well, if we want to win.
531
00:29:13,493 --> 00:29:17,725
Look, do you want to win this case
or just be done with it?
532
00:29:17,973 --> 00:29:20,328
I need to win now.
533
00:29:20,573 --> 00:29:23,133
If I walk away empty after...
534
00:29:26,413 --> 00:29:28,927
Do what you need to do to win.
535
00:29:29,973 --> 00:29:31,929
At least give me that.
536
00:29:53,293 --> 00:29:54,646
Knock, knock.
537
00:29:54,853 --> 00:29:56,445
Ally!
538
00:29:57,333 --> 00:29:59,130
Surprise.
539
00:30:01,533 --> 00:30:02,522
Ah.
540
00:30:08,093 --> 00:30:09,845
I do love you.
541
00:30:12,213 --> 00:30:13,726
You don't have to.
542
00:30:13,933 --> 00:30:17,243
Just keep it in anticipation
of the day we do live together.
543
00:30:18,213 --> 00:30:20,329
That day isn't coming.
544
00:30:22,933 --> 00:30:24,332
Are you...?
545
00:30:25,893 --> 00:30:27,929
Are we breaking up altogether?
546
00:30:29,893 --> 00:30:31,724
Why?
547
00:30:37,093 --> 00:30:38,924
It's just...
548
00:30:40,213 --> 00:30:42,329
...I tried to talk myself into it...
549
00:30:42,533 --> 00:30:45,684
If you say something like
"It's not meant to be," I'll vomit.
550
00:30:46,413 --> 00:30:51,248
We're together 6 months. You suddenly
don't like the sex, so you walk away?
551
00:30:51,493 --> 00:30:54,212
When I look ahead,
I see myself getting tired of you.
552
00:30:54,613 --> 00:30:55,932
Tired of us.
553
00:30:56,173 --> 00:30:59,722
I won't move in with a man
I feel that way about.
554
00:31:00,013 --> 00:31:01,810
I won't even date him.
555
00:31:02,333 --> 00:31:03,561
You need help.
556
00:31:03,813 --> 00:31:07,044
You think Prince Charming
will rescue you from yourself...
557
00:31:07,293 --> 00:31:09,045
...as in some childhood fantasy!
558
00:31:09,293 --> 00:31:12,171
- Please don't yell.
- I'm the one getting hurt!
559
00:31:12,413 --> 00:31:14,643
What have we been doing
for six months?
560
00:31:14,853 --> 00:31:16,366
Why have you been with me?
561
00:31:18,693 --> 00:31:20,285
Because you're a great guy.
562
00:31:21,133 --> 00:31:23,727
And because...
563
00:31:25,373 --> 00:31:29,252
I didn't realize it, but
I think I was with you out of default.
564
00:31:31,573 --> 00:31:34,531
It's not every day
you meet someone to love.
565
00:31:37,173 --> 00:31:41,530
This is what I get for dating someone
with the emotional IQ of a teenager.
566
00:31:46,373 --> 00:31:49,570
Get out. Lose my number.
I plan to lose yours.
567
00:31:49,813 --> 00:31:52,611
Don't wrap a "Let's be friends"
ribbon on this.
568
00:31:52,853 --> 00:31:55,321
Get out. Get lost. Goodbye.
569
00:32:12,893 --> 00:32:16,522
Everybody in this room
knows what happened here.
570
00:32:17,333 --> 00:32:18,652
Look at him.
571
00:32:19,333 --> 00:32:22,848
The charming, broke,
good-looking guy...
572
00:32:23,413 --> 00:32:26,132
...and the plain, fat, rich girl.
573
00:32:26,333 --> 00:32:28,722
He got to pay off all of his debts...
574
00:32:28,933 --> 00:32:30,332
...move into the big house...
575
00:32:30,533 --> 00:32:32,569
...drive the Jaguar...
576
00:32:32,813 --> 00:32:37,329
...redesign the master bath
while she went to work every day...
577
00:32:37,533 --> 00:32:41,128
...telling her he's not into sex,
all the while having an affair...
578
00:32:41,333 --> 00:32:43,130
...with a wet T-shirt model.
579
00:32:43,733 --> 00:32:45,803
That's flat-out fraud.
580
00:32:46,493 --> 00:32:48,563
He testified he married my client...
581
00:32:48,813 --> 00:32:51,327
...because it was
the reasonable thing to do.
582
00:32:51,973 --> 00:32:53,691
They were great companions.
583
00:32:54,093 --> 00:32:57,130
Made sense to build a future
on a sensible foundation.
584
00:32:57,333 --> 00:33:00,723
Not something volatile
like passion or lust.
585
00:33:00,933 --> 00:33:02,571
That would be stupid.
586
00:33:02,813 --> 00:33:05,532
You believe this,
ladies and gentlemen?
587
00:33:05,773 --> 00:33:09,448
How many men do you know
who don't prioritize sex?
588
00:33:09,693 --> 00:33:11,684
Especially ones who look like that.
589
00:33:12,373 --> 00:33:14,967
Men crave sex.
It's who and what we are.
590
00:33:15,213 --> 00:33:17,852
That's why the penis
is shaped like a compass dial.
591
00:33:18,053 --> 00:33:22,729
As coarse as that sounds, to deny the
truth of it is a lie. A big one.
592
00:33:22,933 --> 00:33:24,844
As big as the one that he told her.
593
00:33:25,093 --> 00:33:29,723
And if you walk down that aisle with
someone you aren't passionate for...
594
00:33:29,973 --> 00:33:31,565
...that's lousy planning.
595
00:33:31,813 --> 00:33:35,044
The best marriages aren't founded
on common sense and reason.
596
00:33:35,293 --> 00:33:37,966
Those are the building blocks
for compromise.
597
00:33:38,213 --> 00:33:40,522
The compromise he decided to make...
598
00:33:40,733 --> 00:33:43,725
...was to forgo
passion and romance and lust...
599
00:33:43,973 --> 00:33:46,931
...in exchange for money.
600
00:33:47,173 --> 00:33:49,926
Maureen Ringer
never agreed to that deal.
601
00:33:50,173 --> 00:33:52,403
She was deceived, lied to.
602
00:33:52,653 --> 00:33:56,123
The homely girl got taken
and that's why we're here.
603
00:33:56,813 --> 00:34:00,806
Before the trial, she said to me
she wanted me to get her dignity back.
604
00:34:01,533 --> 00:34:03,524
Well, she came into this room...
605
00:34:03,773 --> 00:34:05,001
...and she earned it.
606
00:34:05,213 --> 00:34:07,363
But she needs you to give it to her.
607
00:34:07,613 --> 00:34:10,411
And to accomplish that,
you need do only one thing.
608
00:34:11,773 --> 00:34:14,207
See the truth.
609
00:34:14,973 --> 00:34:16,326
DICK:
Here's a flash.
610
00:34:16,533 --> 00:34:18,125
Suppose Mr. Cage is right.
611
00:34:18,333 --> 00:34:20,164
He isn't. Suppose he is.
612
00:34:20,413 --> 00:34:24,008
My client did marry her in part
for her money. So what?
613
00:34:24,213 --> 00:34:27,330
People marry for money every day.
Since when is it shameful?
614
00:34:27,893 --> 00:34:29,611
Some people choose on looks.
615
00:34:29,933 --> 00:34:31,730
Others decide on religion.
616
00:34:31,973 --> 00:34:34,851
Some are attracted to qualities
of the heart or soul.
617
00:34:35,093 --> 00:34:37,687
And yes, some make money the criteria.
618
00:34:37,893 --> 00:34:40,805
There's no approved list
of right and wrong.
619
00:34:41,293 --> 00:34:43,329
And if there were...
620
00:34:44,173 --> 00:34:48,769
...Wayne Keebler would still
pass the test because he did love her.
621
00:34:48,973 --> 00:34:51,931
As she testified to,
they were fantastic companions.
622
00:34:52,133 --> 00:34:55,330
There was no sham in the way
they laughed all night.
623
00:34:55,573 --> 00:34:57,325
That's something, huh?
624
00:34:57,773 --> 00:35:00,765
Two people can laugh together,
that's something.
625
00:35:17,453 --> 00:35:20,126
ALLY: I don 't know why
I like to think in here.
626
00:35:20,373 --> 00:35:24,446
Maybe it's the right depository
for most of my "thoughts."
627
00:35:28,893 --> 00:35:30,042
I should knock.
628
00:35:30,333 --> 00:35:32,005
What the...?!
629
00:35:32,253 --> 00:35:34,244
What the hell are you doing here?
630
00:35:34,533 --> 00:35:37,843
The truth?
I was worried about you, actually.
631
00:35:38,493 --> 00:35:41,326
- You were?
- Yeah. Breakups can be tough.
632
00:35:41,573 --> 00:35:44,167
I had an image of you
in the toilet. Who knew?
633
00:35:45,773 --> 00:35:50,130
If you were a decent therapist, you
wouldn't be able to make house calls.
634
00:35:52,533 --> 00:35:54,967
I'm not a therapist, I'm a lawyer.
635
00:35:57,693 --> 00:35:58,887
What did you say?
636
00:35:59,493 --> 00:36:02,371
- You thought I was a therapist?
- Uh-huh.
637
00:36:02,573 --> 00:36:04,803
It says, "Attorney at Law"
on the door.
638
00:36:05,173 --> 00:36:06,492
You're a lawyer?
639
00:36:07,373 --> 00:36:10,649
Why did you entertain discussions
about me and my boyfriend?
640
00:36:10,973 --> 00:36:14,522
Well, you seemed
like you needed to talk.
641
00:36:14,733 --> 00:36:16,530
I'm a good listener.
642
00:36:16,773 --> 00:36:19,526
Right on the door. "Attorney at Law."
Too subtle?
643
00:36:19,733 --> 00:36:22,122
Should I add,
"Went to law school. Sold out."
644
00:36:22,333 --> 00:36:24,608
This is not a good time
to make fun of me.
645
00:36:24,853 --> 00:36:28,163
How dare you advise on something
personal I was going through?
646
00:36:28,413 --> 00:36:29,687
Because I'm a lawyer.
647
00:36:31,613 --> 00:36:34,525
As lawyers, we embrace settlements
as a good thing.
648
00:36:34,733 --> 00:36:36,371
We settle, we celebrate.
649
00:36:36,613 --> 00:36:40,128
You were gonna settle on a relationship
and celebrate with marriage.
650
00:36:40,373 --> 00:36:41,442
Not a good thing.
651
00:36:45,333 --> 00:36:46,925
Anyway...
652
00:36:48,373 --> 00:36:49,567
You okay?
653
00:36:50,093 --> 00:36:51,321
Yeah.
654
00:36:51,533 --> 00:36:55,208
Good. Well, maybe we'll
meet in court one day.
655
00:36:57,053 --> 00:36:58,168
Till then.
656
00:36:59,493 --> 00:37:00,926
Till then.
657
00:37:12,413 --> 00:37:13,926
MAUREEN:
They weren't out long.
658
00:37:14,173 --> 00:37:17,210
Well, it's not like
it's a murder case.
659
00:37:17,773 --> 00:37:20,333
Though if you'd gotten hold
of the scissors...
660
00:37:20,733 --> 00:37:22,530
Mr. Foreman, what say you?
661
00:37:23,333 --> 00:37:27,246
"We, the jury, by a majority
of nine to three...
662
00:37:27,573 --> 00:37:31,248
...find that the marriage
of Maureen Ringer and Wayne Keebler...
663
00:37:31,493 --> 00:37:33,927
...shall not be dissolved
by annulment."
664
00:37:34,173 --> 00:37:37,006
JUDGE: Members of the jury, thank you.
We're dismissed.
665
00:37:37,253 --> 00:37:40,165
- I'm sorry.
- I can't believe this.
666
00:37:42,933 --> 00:37:43,968
Maureen?
667
00:37:44,773 --> 00:37:49,563
Now that you'll be obligated to pay
me alimony, let me say this to you:
668
00:37:49,813 --> 00:37:51,724
I don't want it. Not one nickel.
669
00:37:51,973 --> 00:37:53,406
What?
670
00:37:53,693 --> 00:37:56,332
Then why did we go through all this?
671
00:37:56,613 --> 00:37:58,683
Because you wouldn't have believed it.
672
00:37:58,973 --> 00:38:02,932
You would have regarded it
as a self-serving ploy to get money.
673
00:38:03,133 --> 00:38:06,170
I did love you. And I wanted
to live with you forever.
674
00:38:06,373 --> 00:38:09,729
But you rejected the terms we
married on, you pushed me away.
675
00:38:09,973 --> 00:38:11,850
Because I wanted to be touched.
676
00:38:12,093 --> 00:38:13,890
I wanted a little passion.
677
00:38:14,093 --> 00:38:16,243
That wasn't the basis
of our relationship.
678
00:38:16,493 --> 00:38:18,723
And there may have been fraud here...
679
00:38:19,253 --> 00:38:21,005
...but I didn't commit it.
680
00:38:27,413 --> 00:38:28,812
Well, come on.
681
00:38:29,053 --> 00:38:30,532
Let's go.
682
00:38:30,733 --> 00:38:31,768
Go where?
683
00:38:32,093 --> 00:38:34,209
Well, I'll walk you home.
684
00:39:29,013 --> 00:39:31,925
ALLY: Maybe I'll share my life
with somebody.
685
00:39:32,133 --> 00:39:33,566
Maybe not.
686
00:39:34,813 --> 00:39:36,644
But the truth is...
687
00:39:36,893 --> 00:39:39,930
... when I think back
of my loneliest moments...
688
00:39:40,413 --> 00:39:44,122
... there was usually somebody
sitting there next to me.
689
00:40:39,133 --> 00:40:40,168
OLD LADY:
You stinker.
690
00:40:41,493 --> 00:40:42,482
Subtitles by
SDI Media Group
691
00:40:42,653 --> 00:40:43,642
[ENGLISH SDH]