[ Woman ] Previously onRescue Me...
[ Kenny ] I kind of wanted tonight to be special, you know?
This being our first date...
That's not a lady, pal. That's a whore.
- Has he ever hurt you? - No. No. F-Bomb is great.
What about if I was to pay him, this F-Bomb.
Kind of like buyin' out your contract?
- I couldn't. - Ask him.
I got married.
Jesus Christ, dad! Who'd you get married to?
The same girl I met in Ireland.
- An Irish girl? - No, Korean.
Come on. Up, up, up, up! Out.
You're making a move on me.
[SCOFFS] No.
You're attracted to me?
But you have...
Hey, guys.
This is my new friend, Debbie.
- She hit me. - Who?
Debbie. She punched me in the face.
You know what, coz?
I'd like nothing better than to get into a big,
ghost-and-walking-dead-man brawl with you right now.
[ Jerry ] That little girl that I fell in love with 35 years ago...
is rottin' away on the inside, and I just gotta stand by and watch it happen.
I need somebody to keep an eye on my wife durin' the day.
I'm Rose Atwell. I just moved in next door.
- Goofballs. - Goofballs?
Pills. I'd bet my right nut she's on one of those brand-new...
"I hate my husband. I hate my life. My vagina hurts.
Please, just take it all away"
Selectra XL. "Safe and effective antidepressant." Mm-hmm.
"Reduces anxiety.
Stop fretting. Enjoy living fully." Uh-huh.
"Improves sex drive."
-Did you hear my prayer? -What, are you kidding me?
I said no fighting.
What's your, uh, thing for, by the way?
- What, my prescription? - Yeah.
Uh, it's, like, a cold, allergy thing. Eat.
[ Katy ] Daddy!
Hey.
I had a bad dream.
I saw a ghost.
Oh, no, honey. There's no such thing as ghosts. Okay?
- Okay. - Did he look like anybody we know?
No. He was mean and ugly.
Okay, okay, okay. Go back to sleep.
Okay. All right.
Denial, Tom. It's a bitch.
Shh. Everybody's asleep.
You want me to go in and talk to Katy? I will. I'll talk to Connor too.
Leave 'em alone. You're so scary.
Tell me about the kid who blew his brains out in the rectory.
Come here for a second. Just for a second. Tommy!
[ Knocking ] Tommy!
Shh!
[ Knocking ] [ Pills Rattling ]
[ Knocking ] Hey, Tommy.
- Shh. - How's Sheila doing?
[ Knocking ]
Tommy, I'm gonna go in and talk to the kids, okay?
- Gotcha! - [ Gasps ]
[ Alternative ] ♪
♪ On another day C'mon, c'mon
♪ With these ropes I tied can we do no wrong
♪ Now we grieve 'cause now is gone
♪ Things were good when we were young
♪ With my teeth locked down I can see the blood
♪ Of a thousand men who have come and gone
♪ Now we grieve 'cause now is gone
♪ Things were good when we were young
♪ Is it safe to say C'mon, c'mon
♪ Was it right to leave C'mon, c'mon
♪ Will I ever learn C'mon, c'mon
♪ C'mon, c'mon, c'mon, c'mon
[ Ends ] ♪
- Jesus, Mike-- - Okay. Okay. Just give me a minute.
Hey, look at this-- a meeting of the minds, and the minds are a no-show.
I don't suppose anybody made any coffee. Of course not.
Hmm.
"Tag, arm, it, go." That's great, guys.
Why even bother keeping score?
Fell. F-E-L-L. Read it and weep.
Oh, shit. How many points?
- Eight. No, seven. - Hey, guys.
What's up? Is Laura Miles around?
- Yeah, that's me. - [ Laughs ]
- Um, I'm Laura. - Hi. I'm Angel.
- [ Jerry ] Nice name. - Thanks.
Now get the hell outta here. Nobody's allowed back here as a civilian.
Civilian? I'm not a civilian. Huh?
I'm on the job, Chief. 67 truck downtown.
Oh. Excuse me one second.
Laura, can we talk somewhere?
Less in the spotlight, yeah. And, Garrity--
Yes. In the spirit of helping each other out,
that's for you, and you can thank me later.
- Nice. - Let's step out here.
Wow. "Fellatio." That's cool.
Well, write about what you know, huh, boys?
- That's so cheating. - It really is. And you know what?
- Mmm. - [ Door Slams ]
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
[ All Laughing ]
"Autofellatio." The art of sucking one's own schlong.
And a triple word score. Well played, my friend.
- Mm-hmm. - Wait. Autofellatio means you can suck your own schlong?
- Yes. - Wow. Shit.
- I thought it meant gettin' a blow job in a car. - [ Laughing ]
That's funny. You didn't know it was funny. That's even funnier.
No, I did. I totally did.
[ Laughing ] Do you think that's enough?
No. I like your skin nice and dark.
No, Damien. I swear to God. Don't even think about it. [ Screams ]
- Damien! - You looked so hot.
Well, you're gonna be looking at the ceiling in a hospital room, you little prick.
Don't with the swearing, Debbie.
[ Both Screaming ] Cut it out, you little chunk of shit!
Hey, uh, how do I look with the hose?
It's a good fit, huh? I'm thinkin' you might have to get used to this.
Oh, yeah, no. Uh-uh. Uh-uh. Never.
Don't even think about it.
There is no goddamn way that you are ever gonna be a goddamn firefighter.
So get that right out of your head.
And why not? My father was a goddamn firefighter.
My grandfather was a goddamn firefighter.
Yeah, and they're both dead.
Please don't do this to me.
It's not about you, Mom.
Don't walk away from me, Damien!
There's no goddamn way that you're going to probie school!
Come back here! I'm talking to you!
- [ Crying ] - [ Door Closes ]
I gotta call Tommy.
- [ Chattering ] - [ Horn Honking ]
- Hey. - Hey, Martha Stewart Living. What the hell is that?
It's the opening of-- She just got out of jail.
I think she was unjustly convicted.
Hey, what's this Angel thing about?
Hell if I know. Probie says a friend of hers set them up.
- So you guys are pretty much-- - Taking a break, you know?
She doesn't trust me anymore after the whole poetry thing.
Uh-huh. Yeah.
You, meanwhile, were banging lots of people behind her back the whole time, right?
Yeah, well, now it's official.
You know what, Tommy? You ain't been acting like yourself lately.
Except inside of burning buildings,
which is a marked improvement.
I don't know, man. You're happy you're back with your wife. Whatever.
Mark my words, brother. Stay the hell away from Laura, asshole.
Asshole? [ Scoffs ]
I walked in on something between the two of you the other day.
- What was that? Huh? - No. I explained that. That was--
I was eating ice cream and had--
- Uh-uh. - I had that Biggy Iggy--
Come again, Tom.
[ Sighs ] Okay. I told-- I told her the truth about the poetry.
Oh, okay. The truth, huh?
Now, would this be the real truth...
or the Tommy Gavin, reasonable facsimile,
sort of in the ballpark, maybe a few important details left out truth?
'Cause I've seen that pig before, and she don't fly. I told her exactly--
I told her about the pills and how the pills made me write that poem about my wife.
I didn't want to freak her out, and then you asked me for a poem.
So I gave it to you, and I was just doing you a favor so you could impress her.
She got the wrong message, and she thought I was, you know,
trying to send the message to her, which I said I wasn't.
Mm-hmm. I don't know if I can believe you on that, Tom.
See, the Tommy Gavin I used to know was a lying,
cheating, scheming, brawling, skirt-chasing son of a bitch.
I looked up to him. He always knew where he stood.
But this new Tommy, this fancy coffee-drinking,
pastry-eating, kind, sweet, sincere one--
Uh-uh, bro. I don't trust him as far as I can throw him.
[ Dispatcher On Radio, Indistinct ]
[ Sighs ]
Sheil, it's fine. You know what?
I'm actually surprised that he didn't bring this subject up earlier.
His father was a firefighter. His grandfather was a firefighter.
You know what I mean? All right. I'm gonna be there in five minutes.
Bye.
- We gotta go to Aunt Sheila's house. - But, Dad--
Listen to me, okay? Your cousin Damien...
is thinking about becoming a firefighter.
- I gotta go over there and talk to him. - What about my new mitt?
Connor, listen to me, okay? In the order of importance,
you getting a new mitt and Damien thinking about becoming a firefighter--
Damien, firefighter thing-- up here.
Mitt-- way down here, below the dashboard, okay?
It's gonna be an hour, and then the store will be closed like the last time.
I'll-- I'll get you some ice cream.
No.
- You don't want ice cream? - No.
Come on.
[ Sheila ] You gotta talk some sense into him.
You gotta turn his head around, because I do not know what I'm gonna do.
- Hello, my little sweet pea. You want some Fruit Loops? - Sure.
- He already had cereal. - I ain't goin' to any more goddamn funerals.
I've been to enough goddamn funerals. You can tell him that.
Hey, you look good. Come on.
[ Clears Throat ] This is it, huh? The conversation?
- Yeah. Yeah. - Good. Good.
[ Sighs ] So, you all right?
- Yeah. - You sure?
- Yeah. - You seem a little nervous.
No, I'm good. Just-- You know, it's a big moment.
- Yeah, it is. It's a big moment. - So, what are you gonna say?
[ Sighs ] I guess I'm just-- Tell him the truth, right?
- Yeah. Good. Right. The truth. - Right.
[ Knocking ] It's me.
Wait, wait, wait, wait. What version of the truth are we talking about?
- Hey. - Hey.
- So-- - I heard about Aunt Janet.
That she came back. That's good.
- Yeah, it's great. - Yeah, it's better than you and my mom hooking up.
That was kinda tough to deal with.
Of course, now I'm living in Dyke Central, so who knows?
I'll probably end up turning into some gay ax murderer or something.
Well, hopefully not gay. [ Clears Throat ]
I'll kill you both if that happens.
The gay thing or the ax murderer.
So your mom's telling me that you're thinking about--
Thinking about it. You know, maybe a way to connect with my dad.
Well, you know, this is not a spur-of-the-moment kind of a thing.
- What are you doin'? - I know.
- It's some serious shit, you know? - Hey, my dad's dead.
Died on the job.
And then my uncle, my dad's best friend,
the guy who showed me how to carry my dad's helmet the proper way...
when I marched behind his casket--
He ends up sleeping with my mom and getting her pregnant.
- Listen. - No, you listen. Look, I loved my dad.
His job, what he did, what you do--
It has an honor to it.
Like no matter how screwed up your life might be,
when you come home at night, part of you,
you're satisfied, right?
Like-- Like you know that at some point during the day,
even if only for a few hours, you were doing the right thing.
Right?
Yeah.
Yeah, well, that's what my dad used to say anyways.
Not in so many words.
That's my son.
Yeah, well, that was before 9/11.
We get paid shit. We'll always get paid shit,
because the politicians got us by the balls 'cause we never go on strike.
Jesus Christ, Tommy. Come on.
Yeah, this country respected us after 9/11. They put the spotlight on us.
But now, because this country has A.D.D.,
we're back to being glorified garbagemen--
garbagemen with booze and drug problems, but garbagemen nonetheless.
Not thisversion of the truth, okay?
You know what I should do? I should let you come down to the burn unit...
and see what we're always this close away from.
Or maybe ride the rig with us for a couple of days so you can see the shit.
You can see the little kids with lips so charred...
that when you give 'em mouth-to-mouth, their lips stick to yours, you know?
Or the dead babies, you know,
who died in their sleep because the fire spread so quick,
and their backsides are melted to the mattress underneath 'em.
That's it. Come on, asshole. Come on.
Sit down! Sit down, goddamn it!
Um, I am sitting down.
Right.
Good. All right, listen.
[ Sighs ] That's one side of the coin.
The other side--
There isn't a job on the whole goddamn planet I'd rather do than this one.
Because every day you do feel like you made a difference--
like you gave something back, you know?
I came down here, truthfully, to talk you out of this,
but... I can't do it.
The fire thing is in our blood.
It's in our family's... bones, you know?
My dad was a firefighter. His dad was a firefighter.
I, uh-- I got something for you.
[ Velcro Ripping ]
That's your dad's badge.
- That's my dad's? - Yeah.
I've had it with me every day since he died.
Even when I'm at work, I keep it in my, uh, bunker gear.
They gave it to me to keep for you, in case--
When a guy dies in the line of duty, they retire his badge number,
and the only person who can take it after that is his son,
if and when he decides to come on.
You like it though, right? The job.
Yeah. I love it.
Even with the-- you know, all the dead babies and all that other stuff?
Yeah.
- Hey, can I keep this? - Yeah. That's why I brought it.
Kid, if you really make the move,
I think you're gonna enjoy being a firefighter.
There's-- There's nothing like it.
What are we gonna tell my mom?
I'll take care of your mom.
Thank you, brother.
You had me a little worried there with the lips and the burn unit thing.
I was just busting your balls.
Better go give Sheila the bad news.
Yeah.
Oh, shit. Sean Garrity reading a book. First sign of the apocalypse.
- What's that? - Nothing, man. What is that?
Oh, it's-- it's a dictionary. I'm just boning up for my next game with Laura.
Hey, speaking of which, what's going on with her and that Angel guy?
- Ah, who knows? - I wouldn't worry about it. It's obvious what she's doing.
She brings this Ricky Martin-looking dude around here.
She parades him in front of everybody, rubs your nose in it.
Some high school bullshit. You think she's trying to make me jealous?
Yeah, of course. She's just messing with your brain, dude.
You know what you gotta do? You gotta meet a hot chick,
bring her around here, let Laura think she's your new squeeze.
- Nah, man. That is-- That's like totally adolescent. - I know. It's cool, right?
- I'm not doing that, Sean. - Not doing what?
- Nothing. - Hey, how are you, Laura?
- Hey, how's your friend? Um, what's his name? - Angel.
Angel. Right. How's that?
- None of your business. - I was just asking.
- Sean, it's none of your business. - Thank you.
You're welcome. Laura doesn't have to talk about who she's dating,
just like I don't have to talk about the new chick I'm seeing.
Right. You're seeing someone?
Hmm? Oh, yeah, yeah. I mean, nothing serious.
It could be, but it's too early to tell.
And what's she like?
Oh, she's, uh-- You know, I don't even really think we should get into this.
Hey, you got your thing. I got mine.
Let's just be adults and give each other some space.
- That's the whole point, right? - Right.
Yes! Man, I got her.
[ Laughs ] That was really good, man.
You don't know how good, man. At one point, her nostrils flared. She is totally bugged.
That's cool. You know what you gotta do if you really want to get her?
Yeah, I gotta find somebody. Yeah, somebody ultra hot.
- Yeah, like porn chick hot. - Exactly.
You know what, man? Actually, I know this guy.
He knows a ton of porn chicks. He owes me a favor too.
- I'm gonna give him a call. - Whoa. Holy shit.
- What? - Well, I know you,
and you know a guy that knows porn chicks.
So I'm like six degrees from porn chicks. That's fantastic.
I heard the word "porn." No, no. We were just--
- Yes, yes, yes. - You guys talking about porn chicks?
No. No, no. Actually, Franco's thinking about dating a porn star to make Laura jealous.
No, no, no. Dating a porn chick is not gonna make a regular chick jealous.
Unless, of course, her sister's a porn chick. Oh, that could work.
- Hey! - Hey, Jeannie!
- Hi. - Surprise, surprise. We're out and about this morning.
Your bride and I made cookies, and we thought you'd all like a special delivery.
- I haven't been here in a million years. - How are you, darling?
- Lou, good to see you. - Good to see you too.
- You remember him? - Of course. Hi, Tommy.
- How are the kids? - They're great. They're great.
- Oh, and Franco. - Hi, Jeannie.
- Sean. - How are you?
- It's amazing. - [ Jeannie ] Oh, the gang's all here.
- She's having a good morning. - You want a cup of coffee, sweetie?
Oh, no, we can't. We're gonna visit her husband at work.
No, honey. We're visiting your husband.
My husband doesn't work in this firehouse.
Yes, he does. He's right here.
[ Dispatcher On Radio, Indistinct ]
Sweetie.
Come on, Jeannie. We're gonna go.
Come on, sweetheart.
- Bye, Jeannie. - I'm sorry.
Bye-bye, hon.
[ Laughing ] Oh, you make me laugh so much.
More wine?
[ Phone Ringing ] You want me to get that?
Better not. Pour, stud.
Hello? Hey. When?
- [ Man On Phone ] - You want to talk? I don't think I can.
- Why not? - I have company.
- Is it important? - Yes, it's very important.
- How long? - Oh, at least an hour.
- [ Indistinct ] - Okay, hold on.
Go.
Okay.
Listen, did you think about that thing I mentioned to you?
Well, it's important. I was serious about it, okay?
- [ Man, Indistinct ] - Okay. Bye.
- Dare I ask? - F-Bomb.
Says I have to go, now.
It shouldn't come as a complete surprise.
It was only a matter of time, right?
You okay? Yeah. Yeah.
No. No. You know, I'm not. I mean, I think it's bullshit.
This asshole makes you drop whatever the hell it is--
- I talked to him, Kenny, about getting out. - And?
He said he'd think about it. I just reminded him.
[ Sighs ] You think there's really a chance?
I don't know.
I told him I'd never considered it before.
But now, for the first time, I got a great reason.
Feels good... being a reason.
Hey.
She's already down. The trip into the city took a lot out of her.
What were you thinkin' doing that?
I'm sorry, Jerry. She was very present, very clear this morning.
Right up until the point where she made me look like a
jackass in front of my whole crew.
So you're more concerned about yourself than you are about your sick wife?
No. I'm more concerned about her, which is why I hired you...
to keep an eye on her here, in her home, where she's safe.
- And out of sight. - Excuse me?
It won't happen again.
You bet your ass it won't.
I'll see you in the morning.
- The pimp is in the building, brother. - What's up?
- Check it out. - Oh, my God. So hot.
- [ Speaking Spanish ] - Look at that rack.
That's like the nicest pair of breasts I've ever seen.
Whoa. What's goin' on with this dog?
- Is she gonna do something with it, or is it just there? - Forget about the dog.
This is her. My friend set me up with her.
She's coming by tomorrow at 3:00, so we gotta make sure Laura's in the kitchen.
- Are you kidding? What if we're on a call? - I told her to wait.
I talked to her on the phone. Brother, her voice is like caramel.
- It's soft and silky and gooey. - Oh, yeah, daddy. Shit.
- Laura's gonna shit when she sees this chick. - Definitely. Definitely.
- Hey, what kind of dog is that, seriously? - Hey, watch it, Garrity.
That's my make-believe girlfriend you're talking about.
- [ Alarm Blaring ] - [ Indistinct Shouting ]
- What? - What?
That's like the third time I've caught you looking at me.
- I'm not looking at you. What are you talking about? - Yes, you are.
- Get outta here. - You got somethin' to say, just say it.
- I-- I'm not looking at you. I was glancing. - You are. I just saw you.
- Is it against the law to glance at people? - Yes, it is.
- What do you wanna tell me? - I don't wanna tell you anything.
You do. Just talk to me. What? What is it?
Okay, I was trying to tell you something with the look, okay?
Right. I know. Tell me.
I'm trying to tell you that I don't have a thing for you.
- You don't? - No.
- Okay, close your eyes. - What?
- Just close your eyes. Trust me. Two minutes. - Come on.
What color are my eyes? Don't look.
Blue. [ Scoffs ]
-What? Oh, shit, they're green. - Yeah.
- Shit, they're like almost Kelly green. - Yeah.
Way off. Hey, what's wrong?
Well, that's like the ultimate test, you know?
If you know what color my eyes are, then you've been looking in them and you're interested.
Oh, right. I totally flunked it. See?
So why are my signals so crossed?
Oh, you mean, like-- Well, you know what I think it is?
I think, uh, men, when it comes to sex, even if they're in love,
like, they gotta have some space.
Absence kind of makes the heart grow fonder.
So all these couples you see who live and work together--
It never works. It crashes and burns.
Every single one. Desi and Lucy.
Uh, J.Lo and Ben, Matt and Ben, you know?
Siegfried and Roy. Even Liza Minnelli and that crazy manager homo guy.
You know what I mean? It always ends the same way.
The acrimonious, you know, divorce or spiteful separation, you know?
Or, you know, a wild animal bites one or the other's heads off, you know?
So, Franco, I think, is just probably feeling like he's suffocating.
You might even be feeling the same way.
Just be thankful there's not a, you know, wild animal
running around the goddamn firehouse.
- You know what I mean? - Yeah, Garrity does have that, like,
"just came off the savanna" smell now and then.
- Yeah. - Hey, guys, what's goin' on?
Nothing.
- You all right? - Mm-hmm.
Jesus, my neck! I can't believe you let me spend the entire night in a jail cell.
Well, you're the one who blew our entire wad on the craps table, fat-ass.
Yeah, well, had I known your wife kept you on a weekly stipend,
- maybe I would've gambled with more discretion. - [ Doorbell Rings ]
- Who goes blow job hunting on the boardwalk, moron? - Sure. You tell me that now.
- Atlantic City is ruined. Ruined! - Yeah?
Yeah. A couple years back, it was the knob job capital.
You couldn't go there and not get a knob job.
You get blown on the way in the cab,
blown getting the luggage out of the trunk.
You get blown checking into the hotel.
Stop with the blow job stories. I don't want the ball and chain
to know about this mess.
All right. All right. But I'm writing a letter to
the chamber of commerce down there.
Sweetheart, I'm home.
- [ Cats Meowing ] - Hmm.
Well, the keys are here. Where the hell is she?
Come on. Get outta here, you guys.
- Look at them. They're all over the place. - I know.
Jesus, half my life I prayed to be knee-deep in pussy.
This ain't exactly what I had in mind.
I gotta go. Hey, Dad, I'm leaving. I'll see you later.
- [ Screams ] No! No! - What? What's wrong?
- What's goin' on? - She's dead.
- Ah, shit. - Holy shit!
- Is she dead, Son? - Yeah, slightly.
- Get outta here, will you? - [ Meowing Continues ]
That's why she didn't answer the phone.
She was laying like that for three whole days.
That explains the cats eatin' her. I'm gonna be sick.
I didn't know cats ate people.
I don't think it's high on the list, but when it's the only item on the menu-- Oh, man!
Well, you can't blame them. Nothing in their little bellies for three days.
I'm sure she started lookin' like a Chinese buffet.
Korean.
Oh, wouldn't that be good right about now?
Do you mind?
Sorry. I'll be in the kitchen.
I'll call Johnny, see if he can get one of the guys from the precinct here.
- You all right? - Yeah. Yeah. She was a good woman, Tommy.
You said she was a nightmare.
Well, that was before the cats ate her.
- Yeah. - I mean, all that money she had--
- Yeah, yeah. - And then, you know, she couldn't take care of herself.
Jesus.
Hey. Hey.
- You're rich. - Yeah, I'm rich.
No, no, no. You're rich. You're stinkin' rich.
- How much money did she have? - Fifty-six million.
Oh, my God! Goddamn it, you're rich!
Sixty mil. I mean, I'm rounding it off, but whoo!
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
We're rich. Hold it, Tommy. Stop it.
You know, let's honor the dead.
- There's a time and place for things like this. - You're right. I'm sorry.
- Teddy? Teddy! - Yeah.
- Come on. - Let's go in the other room.
- Now, uh, yeah. Listen, uh-- - [ Meowing ]
- We're rich! We're rich! We're filthy stinkin' rich! - [ Laughing, Shouting ]
We're rich! We're rich! We're rich! We're rich! We're rich! We're rich!
[ Man ] I can't. I gotta get to work.
- [ Horn Honking ] - [ Woman ] I'm goin' up to the deli.
- [ Buzzes ] - [ Woman ] Hello?
Hey, uh, it's me. I was in the neighborhood. I thought I'd take a chance.
- Hi. - You alone?
Of course, silly. Come on up.
- [ Knocking ] - [ Tommy ] Hon, you ready?
- The reservation's at 7:30. - Yeah. All set.
What are you doing?
Just making myself look fabulous for my man.
- Doin' a great job of that. - Yeah?
Yeah. Give me two seconds. I gotta take a piss.
- Since when do you-- - Just two seconds.
- Honey? - Yep.
One Mississippi, two Mississippi--
[ Toilet Flushing ]
Okay.
- I have some news. - News?
I talked to F-Bomb again.
He says he's gonna let me out of my contract.
My God, that's fantastic! That's-- That's terrific!
Wait a minute. Wait a minute. It was that easy?
Well, no. I have to pay him, buy myself out.
- How much? - You don't wanna know.
No, I know I don't wanna know, but tell me.
Thirty thousand dollars.
Are you okay?
Yeah, I think I just-- I better just sit down. Just-- I'm okay.
- Are you sure? - Yeah. Yeah.
Honey, I gotta tell you.
That dress-- [ Whistles ]
- Thank you, honey. - Mm-hmm.
- Yeah, you look great, too. - Yeah, yeah.
Oh, honey, I don't want to get on you about this, but Connor's mitt--
Oh, I know. I know.
- I know you've been busy. I just wanted to remind you. - I promise you tomorrow,
the first thing I'm doing is picking up that mitt.
Okay, I know you will, sweetie.
God, he said the strangest thing-- Connor.
- What? - He tells me he's gonna be a fireman.
- When? - Today. But it wasn't like it was a kid saying it.
He was totally serious and focused.
- What did he say? - He said that it was in his blood and in his bones.
Can you imagine?
[ Scoffs ] I don't know where he's getting that.
Yeah, where do the kids come up with this stuff?
You know what? It's that stupid Third Watchshow.
Reruns. [ Scoffs ]
- Here. Drink. - No. No, thanks, honey. I'm fine. I'm fine.
It was just a momentary stroke.
[ Sighs ]
- Thirty grand? - Yeah.
I've got five saved, so I guess if I cut expenses, maybe take on more clients--
No. You know what, Danny? No more clients, okay?
I'm gonna help you out with this thing.
- No. - No, yes. Yes, I am.
I have cash. I've got it squirreled away so my wife couldn't get it.
- No, Kenny. - Yes, Danny. It's just sitting there.
It's not doing anybody any good.
Kenny, I don't want your money!
This is the only relationship I've had with a man
that didn't involve a cash exchange.
I'd like to keep it that way.
Well, look. I've got it, and the offer's on the table.
And I love you for it.
- That was a fantastic restaurant. - Yep.
- You know, we should make it our regular place. - No argument from me.
- Thank you. - Mm-hmm.
For a great date.
I'm gonna check on the kids real quick,
and then I'm gonna slip into something more comfortable.
I like that plan. A lot.
- [ Phone Ringing ] - Hey, Probie.
Hey, I forgot to tell you the other day.
I found this really neat coffee place near my new, uh, apartment.
Get this. They have caramel macchiatos.
And, uh, it's like a Snickers bar in a cup.
- Wow. - I'm thinking maybe I'll bring some to work, you know?
Or you know what I'll do? I'll bring some to the hockey game.
The guys would like that, right?
Um, Tom, I don't think that's such a good idea.
- Why? - The reason I'm calling is--
This-- This isn't how I feel.
- How you feel about what? - Well, it's just the team.
I mean, Mungo and Ryan mostly, but the other guys too.
They, uh-- They don't want you to be captain anymore.
They think you've gone soft.
- Hello? - I'm here.
They actually don't even want you to play.
Mungo and Ryan said that if you show up,
they were gonna sit the game out in protest.
They got Turk Pollatta and Wildman Iaco to come down and coach.
Those guys are completely out of control.
All right, you know what? You tell those assholes
that not only am I gonna be there, okay,
but I'm gonna be there and kick some ass, all right?
- Wait. Wait. Tom? - What?
Um, are you still gonna bring some of that Snickers-flavored coffee?
You know what, asshole?
The only thing I'm bringing is my "A" game, okay?
[ Woman Singing In French ] ♪
[ Continues ] ♪
I'm sorry. Do we live in Paris?
No. Good morning, hon. Hey, breakfast is almost ready.
Why didn't you wake me up? Huh?
Because when I got up at 4:00, you were still awake.
I thought you could use the extra z's.
Now I'm late for work. Perfect!
It's all right, honey. Just use a glass.
No time for glasses. What's this?
- Huh? - Uh, it's orange juice.
Yeah. What's it say above "orange juice" on the carton? Huh?
- Home-style? - Which is a code word for what? Pulp.
- Okay, I hate pulp. All right? - Since when do you hate pulp?
Since they started taking the time to take the goddamn pulp out.
- Christ. - Honey, I'm sorry.
- I didn't know you had a thing with the pulp. - Yeah, I hate all pulp, okay?
Orange juice pulp, that stupid British band named Pulp,
Pulp Fiction, Quentin Tarrantino--
What's with that goddamn head? Is that not the biggest head in the history of heads?
He turns sideways, it's like you're looking at a map of the New Jersey coastline.
Kill Bill. What a piece of shit. And there's a Kill Bill 2?
What's that about? Jesus Christ.
Tommy, the kids.
Kids, when you grow up, don't see either one of the Kill Bills.
They both suck, okay? See ya.
- Have a nice day, honey. - Uh-huh.
Do you hear that crackling sound?
That's the sound of my ovaries drying up. Come on!
All right. All right. Here we go. How about this? Huh? What do you think?
- "Cock" again? - What? You can't use the same word twice?
Oh, sure you can. Especially if it has more than one meaning.
- Right. - Such as?
Uh--
If this is gonna turn into 20 questions, that's a whole other ball of wax.
- [ Laughing ] - Oh, that's very funny.
Hi. Is Franco here?
- Yeah. I'm Franco. - Hey. How you doin'?
- Thanks for comin' by. Good to see you. - Where are we going tonight?
Oh, I-- I hadn't really-- I hadn't given it a lot of thought, but, um--
Come on in here, darling. Don't be shy.
No. Remember you said, Chief, no civilians in the kitchen. It's really not safe.
That doesn't mean it applies to pretty girls. Come on in here, sweetheart.
- [ Laughs ] - What is your name?
Hi. I'm Chrissy. You guys do such great work.
It is an honor to meet you. A huge honor.
Yeah, you might even say it's an enormous honor.
Um, I'm Laura. It's so nice to meet you.
Welcome. What are you guys gonna do tonight? A little dancing?
- Yeah. You know, maybe we'll hit the club or something. - Yeah.
Whatever you wanna do. You ready? After you.
- Bye. - Bye.
- Take care. - Bye now.
- [ Chattering ] - All right, guys. Listen up. Listen up.
First line starts-- Davis, Jacobs, Callahan.
And on defense-- O'Leary and Reilly, you're in for Gavin.
Hey, look who it is-- Dorothy Hamill.
- [ Grunts ] - Holy shit!
Anybody else? Didn't think so.
[ Horn Honks ]
[ Cell Phone Ringing ]
- Hello? - Hey, you still on your date?
Uh, no. We, uh-- We wrapped things up early.
- Good. We gotta talk. - Okay.
[ Crowd Shouting, Cheering ]
[ Whistle Blows ]
Get him! Get him! Beat his ass! I got him! Hold him!
- Whoo! - Good shot!
[ Man Cheering ] Tommy! Yes!
- The matching hat trick. - Is it wrong to feel sorry for the cops?
- Yeah, but tonight I'll make an exception. - We should've bet this game.
- You're real hot shit, huh, Gavin? - Oh, yeah.
Yeah.
- Go get him, Tommy. - All right. You're off the ice.
- The bitch is back. - Penalty Gavin. Five minutes. Fighting.
[ Crowd Shouting ]
Shit.
- Attaboy, Tom. Show 'em who's boss. - I'm the goddamn boss.
- Yeah. Show 'em. - Christ.
- Goddamn right, you are. - Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Look at Collins making a fool of you out there.
How could you take that from him?
He's making a fool out of me?
- He's really in the zone, huh? - Yeah, The Twilight Zone.
- Who the hell is he talkin' to? - No idea.
- That's right, Tommy. Use that anger. - Shut up!
- Yeah, yeah. Where's it been all this time, huh? - You know where it's been.
Tommy, don't be a pussy! Go out there and kick all their asses!
- Come on, Tommy! - [ All Shouting ]
Go out there and get that college guy.
[ Buzzer Sounds ]
- [ Man ] Come on! Come on! - [ Crowd Booing ]
[ All Shouting ]
[ Grunting ]
[ Indistinct Shouting ]
- Oh, Jesus, Mary and Joseph! - Happy now, asshole?
- [ Whistle Blowing ] - Look at the scoreboard.
[ Shouting Continues ]
I hope they got an ambulance standin' by.
I'm gonna call 911 right now.
Hey, Tommy, great job.
- Tommy, man, all these cars belong to the cops. - Let's trash 'em.
Let's get 'em, Tommy. Come on. Come on! Where you goin', man?
Tommy, where you goin'?
[ Man ] ♪ I need a new direction
♪ To get me around
♪ You don't have protection
♪ As you're coming down
♪ Have you made up your mind
♪ It's the only way
♪ Have you made it up Have you made it up
♪ I admire the time that you take ♪
[ Horn Honks ] Tommy! Where are you going, man?
You got sand in your vagina? You can't get away from me!
I own you. Walk away. Walk away.
- [ Horn Honking ] - Hiya, Tommy.
Where are you going, asshole? Huh?
You're running away like a little bitch!
Go back there and finish the job, huh?
You're with us now. Come on. Come on, Tommy.
♪ I need a good luck charm
♪ To give me good luck
♪ And I need a good alarm
♪ To wake me up
- Hey. - Dad.
Look what I got you.
- Oh, my God. - See the mitt?
- That's awesome. - Yeah.
- Hi, Daddy. - Hey, sweetheart.
Connor got a bike and a mitt?
Yeah, but look what I got for you.
- Look at that. - Wow!
- Huh? - Thanks, Daddy.
- You're welcome. - She gets a PSP?
You got a bike and a mitt.
- You know, when I was a kid-- - Yeah, I know.
There were only four channels on the TV.
- That's right. - Thanks, Dad.
Okay. Good night, guys.
- I get to use her PSP, right? - Can I ride his bike sometimes?
Good night.
[ Knocking ]
- Hey. - Hey.
- Come on in, man. - What's up?
- What's going on? - I just wanted to ask you a couple questions.
Did you, uh, happen to mention to Laura that I was suffocating?
Um, yeah, I did, I think. Yeah.
And that our relationship was somehow related to the one that Siegfried has with Roy?
Yes. I was making-- making a point.
Hey, do you want some--
♪ Light my white candle Keep me safe
♪ It'll put that smile back on my-- ♪
[ Child ] Cloudland.