Hey, Jimmy!
Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com
Thanks.
How's that fence holding up?
Fine, Jimmy.
At the sound of the tone,
the time will be 2:58 and 30 seconds.
Mmm-mmm.
Hey, Ringo. What episode are we on?
Uh, 15.
Hey, did your power go out last night?
Nope.
Mine did.
It's back on now.
Probably a loose hook-up.
So if you think this stunt
is a little too dangerous, then we can come up
- with something else. - We'll stick to the script.
Yeah, Colt's right. The only way we stand a chance
of making a buck on this picture is if we come in on budget.
The budget doesn't matter; the world's waiting
to see my script.
Come on, Harry, do you really think that the world is waiting
to see a low-budget flick called...
Death Car Hookers.
Goddamn it.
Come on.
I rewrote the car wash scene, so we do it outside and we save...
Hey-ya, Burt.
Uh-huh.
We were just wondering if you wanted to take a walk with us.
A walk to where?
Uh, just a little walk, for fun.
The gas station's selling something called boba tea.
Goddamn old people.
That Fall Guy.
Hey, Jimmy.
Good set.
I've never heard a guy
do Meredith Brooks's "Bitch" before.
It was pretty cool.
Mm-hmm.
I read that book you recommended, the Henning Mankell memoir.
It was really affecting.
Of course.
Yeah, I'll give you some more recommendations, if you like.
Thanks.
Hey, do you want to go for a drive, or something?
To where?
Nowhere, just... for fun.
I can't, but thank you.
- Hey, Jimmy. - Mm-hmm.
Slow down, Burt.
A Sport and a Pastime isn't in yet, but we can e-mail you.
I don't have e-mail.
Oh, well, we have SMS now.
I don't have a cell phone.
I'll check back.
Ow.
I swear, that Fall Guy.
You know what we should do, Ringo?
- Hmm? - When the weather gets a little warmer,
get one of those projectors, watch Fall Guy
on the side of my trailer, under the stars.
- Mm. Great idea. - One more episode.
I want to see if Seavers is gonna land
that Jet Ski backflip.
Ooh, they have fluffer-grahams.
Hey-ya, Burt.
What is this?
Oh, Clifford's kids are visiting
from New Hampshire.
Say hi to Burt, family.
Hey.
Can I, uh, pour you a glass of Chablis?
Best boxed wine money can buy.
I guess.
Don't get too close to the fire, there.
I was just about to play a song, I hope you don't mind.
Oh, God.
Oh, hush, you old grump.
Do you live here?
Why are you asking?
This place is for old people.
- Is it? - So why are you here?
- They had a vacancy. Go away. - But this place is for old people.
- This is getting very repetitive. - Does your grandma live here?
Oh, my God! My grandmother doesn't live anywhere.
- He lives here. - Why do you live here?
I'll tell you what, I...
The entire point of the United States
is the guarantee of autonomy
and personal liberty.
- What does that mean? - It means
it's none of your goddamn business why he's living here.
- Hey, now. - Burt.
You shut up.
Clifford, control your family.
- Burt. - Ugh!
To hell with this.
I'll have some more.
Hey.
That's a much better name than "fluffer-grahams."
Goddamn it.
Son of a...
Would you please shut up?
I lost my goddamn keys! They're not on the hook!
Oh. Well, then, by all means, wake me from my erotic slumber.
Janis Joplin was just about to go onstage.
I always put them on a goddamn key hook.
But they're not there.
Son of a gun, shit turd pile.
We're on episode 22.
- Jesus, man, your memory. - I don't want to watch.
What? Did more of your friends die?
You think you'd be used to it by now. Come on.
It's a stupid show.
What is he, a stuntman or a crime fighter?
Pick one. He's living a lie.
Fine. Well, let's go to the library and pick something else out.
There's a, there's a little show called Nash Bridges.
I don't have my goddamn keys.
How can we go to the library if my keys are missing?
What, and you think they'll be in this box of old crap?
I don't know. I've looked everywhere.
Goddamn.
Me and Marty Szymanski.
We rode motorcycles across Australia in the '60s.
A goddamn wallaby made me lay down going 50.
Fractured my tibia.
It was a great trip.
Right, library. I'll drive.
Fine, Ringo.
But BMWs are for lady travel agents.
I'll lie down in back so no one sees me.
House of Cards.
A-Team. Wonderfalls. Deadwood.
Takes place when you were a child.
Ugly Betty. The Profiler.
Yeah, you're right. The DVD selection is pathetic here.
But what do you expect from a town whose tax money
all goes to opioid treatment and bark beetle eradication?
We could drive into town.
Why don't you just call a locksmith to make you new keys?
I'm not gonna pay someone 500 goddamn dollars
to make a new key for my own goddamn car.
That's exactly what we don't need, more garbage and confusion.
Everything in this country is disposable!
Something goes wrong, throw it out!
Drive to Walmart. Buy a new one.
You can't. No keys. Burn.
Chinese can make you another, three cents on the dollar.
Who cares if it's covered in dog dust and toxic paint?
They're my keys, and I need to have my keys!
Goddamn it!
L.A. Law.
Just get in.
No. That car is all I have.
What about you and Marty whatever with the motorcycles?
Marty died in 1997.
No, I meant you have the photo.
Burt? Burt. Burt!
What are you...? B...
Lunatic.
Hello, Jimmy.
Yeah.
So, uh, how's Burt been the last few days?
Appalling.
He's acting like a little bitch, frankly.
He threw a tantrum and ran into the woods.
He's probably dead in a gulley by now.
I was afraid of that.
This must be a big adjustment for him.
I know how much he loves that silly car.
There's anything you can do to help keep his mind off it or cheer him up
a little bit...
Listen.
Can I confide in you, Jimmy?
- Please don't. - It's just that...
- Read the room, Gail. - Even before you turned up,
Burt had already been...
well...
we concluded it was best if he didn't drive anymore, so I took his keys.
I hate to deceive him, but he won't face reality.
There are certain things I can't do anymore.
Bend down. Read without a magnifying glass. Menstruate.
The point is you learn new things.
Like, I'm learning HTML and glassblowing.
I made this jellyfish.
Anyway, I...
We just care about him a lot.
Thanks for keeping this between us.
Gail. Eight out of ten.
Would bang.
Yeehaw!
Slow down! Slow down, Burt! Jesus Christ!
Nope.
Yeehaw!
Yeah.
That batty Gail, thinking you wouldn't tell me.
I should have had her arrested.
I still might.
The one inalienable right we all have is the right to be left alone.
It's sad, Jimmy, these people, my peers, they used to be robust, ballsy, young.
Now they're these husks huddled against what, death?
So petrified of life
that the minute they see someone actually living,
they have to shut it down so it doesn't remind them they gave up years ago.
Right. Now we can finally get back to it.
L.A. Law.
It's a bit dated, but there's a satisfying Albee-esque bite,
if you can see past the mullets and baggy suits.
Being without my car made me feel...
I felt old.
Like them.
So, I'm hitting the road.
- What? - I used to live in Cape Coral.
I figure I'll drive down, see how it's changed,
and visit some of my old buddies from the Navy
down in the Keys, if any of them are still alive.
I'm talking five, six days to get down there, just me and the open road.
Are you seriously leaving?
Don't cry, Ringo.
You can watch L.A. whatever without me.
The thing is...
yes, Gail has terrible taste in lawn ornaments and literature
and jogging attire, but maybe she has a point?
You ran over my hibachi three times, man.
No, I didn't.
What? Okay, well, yes, you did, first of all.
That is disturbing that you deny it.
But listen, Burt, right, I'm not gonna talk down to you, okay?
You are an adult.
My God, it's pathetic for anyone to live in anything but the truth.
Okay? And your truth is, Burt, you are no longer a driver.
I-I used to find it amusing.
Old man in a hot rod.
But Gail's right. You are dangerous.
No, I'm not.
And even if you make it to Florida, you're gonna be alone.
I like being alone.
Burt, you have people here who care about you.
Out there, zero.
Just... live in reality, man.
You're serious?
You've been hiding out
in a retirement community where your only friend
is a 71-year-old who can barely stand you.
It's been three months.
You ever wonder why I never asked what you're hiding from?
Because it's none of my goddamn business!
But you might want to ask yourself that question
before you try to interfere in my life.
You're only 71?
Jesus Christ.
What were you? A Nepali Sherpa?
You look like a boat dock came to life.
Remind me to moisturize next time.
You're all witnesses! You all saw that!
Come on, Burt.
Oh, thank you.
Jimmy!
That bitch did it again!
Jimmy!
Jimmy?
_
Hey, guys, slow down a little.
God, I hate these buildings.
Air conditioning goes down, place smells like
the inside of a garbage disposal.
This is so boring.
- I just want to go home. - Look at their hair.
This was made in the '80s.
Do you think I would know this?
Shh.